It looks like some sort of fatigue is starting to set in with some of the designers, while some seem to have been set free creatively. The designers go to the workroom which is filled with Glad candles. It looks kind of like someone's going to be sacrificed, but Tim is there and says that it reminds him of the unconventional challenge that took place at a flower shop. Was that the second season? I somehow recall maybe Santino Rice doing something with flowers, but I really can't be sure. They will be doing the same here. It's not over yet. Heidi comes in and says that she likes the hardware store too. They, as teams, have to create a line of six looks that use both places.
To even out the teams, Dream Team gets to choose two team members from the other squad. They choose Stanley and Layana. Michelle makes it clear that she doesn't want to work with Patricia ever. Then, Team Keeping It Real gets to choose one member of the Dreamers. They choose Michelle. Heh.
Richard and Michelle team up to make a dress and it sounds like a good match at first, but Michelle gets nervous when Richard starts thinking creatively. Amanda hates flowers and chooses some moss for her design, but then it starts shedding like mad. Benjamin tries to weave a fabric and everyone thinks that he is going to have time management issue similar to what he has had in the past. Stanley feels confident with everyone on Dream Team except for Samantha.
Richard and Michelle finally find their way and start to love their design. Daniel realizes that none of their looks are cohesive. Tim comes in and says the same thing when he consults with them. He thinks that Joe's look might be a horror show and Joe doesn't think that's a problem. Amanda and her moss appear to be the weak point on her team.
The day of the runway show, Layana tells Samantha that she dreamt about what Samantha should do to fix her look. Nice. Jow has a hard time getting his girl into his dress. The guest judges are Leandra Medine, an adorable fashion blogger, and Bette Midler! She's adorable! Because I couldn't begin to make a dress with flowers and hardware, everything looks pretty great to me.
Dream Team wins! That means that Michelle is the only person to have lost every single time. The judges seem to be wild about every design in Dream Team's collection. They also seem to be very fond of Team Keeping It Real's collection as well. Samantha wins the challenge! That's huge praise for a design during a challenge that I don't think has been matched for universal praise. The bottom two designers are Joe and Amanda. Heidi tells them that it wasn't an easy decision. Joe is out. Boo.
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Previously: The designers had to create looks Heidi as she launches a new perfume, "Surprise." Kate and Daniel both won the challenge, because Heidi needs lots of dresses. Cindy just couldn't hang with this crew and finally got the boot.
It's morning at the Atlas Building and Matt is telling Tu and Daniel that it is time to wake up. Holy Crap, Daniel's pajamas. They are beyond psychedelic. Seriously, wearing them would be like sleeping with the lights on. In one of the girls' pads, Michelle asks Amanda if she's ready to start the whole rigamarole (I just spelled that correctly on the first try- I really need to point that out) again. Amanda says that she is because with each challenge she has a moment where she's like, "Oh, that's how you do it." That's a good, positive way to think about this stuff. I think I would be too tense and hysterical in that setting to ever have that sort of equanimity. She interviews that she needs to have more fun. Her reticence to make too much of a statement means that she is continually ending up in the middle of the pack. Amanda has really beautiful hair. Nice follicles.
In the other apartment of girls, they are all still celebrating Kate's win. Patricia says that she is thrilled because she believes in her. Kate interviews that she needed the win, because it reminded her of who she was. This reality show esoterica never gets easier for me to comprehend. Exactly who did you think you were before? Is the idea of you this concrete thing that never changes and you just spend your life dancing around it with varying degrees of success in proximity to the real thing? If that's the case, my real self must be bored as hell because I probably visit it like twice a decade. I feel like we change all of the time. Sometimes we feel more confident about our abilities than at others, but this quasi-spiritual notion of success and identity is really bothersome to me. It smacks of Manifest Destiny or some shit.
In the second dude dorm, the mood is heavy. Benjamin is telling Richard and Joe that he cannot continue as he has. He needs some sort of jolt of energy. He says that he needs to reassess his game plan, because there can only be one winner. That feels like two completely unrelated thoughts, but sure, nothing seems incorrect about what he just said. Back with the other boys, Matt points out that their team has five players now, while Team Keeping It Real still has their original eight players. He is hoping that the teams get mixed up a little for this challenge. He interviews that if things continue as they have and Dream Team loses again, they will start losing team members who really deserve to remain in the competition. Meanwhile, he feels like there are several members of Team Keeping It Real who have survived based on the high scores of their other team members. We see footage of Richard and Patricia when he says this, but then he goes ahead and names Joe and Amanda as the people who he feels are weak on the other team. He says that Amanda has presented several questionable looks and he doesn't even know what Joe is doing. Now, I first want to say that I kind of dig Joe and, aside from having him just shave his head instead of rocking the Benedictine bald cap that he's got, I really wouldn't have him change a thing. The thing is though, he's a weirdo. And, as bizarre as this seems because truly creative people are often oddballs, this show doesn't have a lot of tolerance for truly weird people. Mondo was the most successful weird dude and he was mostly just weird in a visual way because he was so tiny and wore such odd ensembles. The weird souls don't get much play on this show and that makes me sad because they make my world go round.
Tim says that there is concern about inequity in the teams now that Dream Team has lost so many members. Dream Team gets to choose two team members from Team Keeping It Real to join their ranks. Benjamin is excited because he feels that his team didn't work and needs a serious energy shift. He suggests to his team that they choose Stanley, because of his skill with construction. Michelle reminds him that Daniel has consistently been in the top, but Benjamin says that if he had to choose between the two he would pick Stanley. I wonder if that means something. I don't really think of Benjamin as a snob, but he is British. Why wouldn't he choose Daniel? Does he find something about him unworthy? Maybe that he is from Texas or that he's self-taught? I just felt a little something weird in the air just then. So, they have another person to choose. Michelle says that she will NOT work with Patricia. Wow. Michelle interviews that she finds Patricia very condescending. She thinks she talks for other people and maybe doesn't even know that she does it. You know, I think Michelle might just be frustrated because of the way this thing has gone so far. She's just lashing out because she hasn't gotten the chance to be praised by the judges. I hope she can process that a little, because she's becoming a bit of a drag. Samantha thinks that they should choose either Kate or Layana. She says that she knows Layana is fairly inexperienced, but she is sexy and young. Benjamin agrees that she has sexy ideas. Michelle also agrees that she has sex appeal. Plus, she says that she sees things (problems, needs et al.) and says something. If she sees something, she says something.
Tim asks them what their decision is and they say to the room that they would like Stanley. Amanda interviews that she thought for sure that they would pick Daniel and she's perplexed about their choice of Stanley. , they say that they are choosing Layana. She makes a sad face. She interviews that she's sad because she got along really well with her team, but she is flattered that she was chosen. Tim adds that Team Keeping It Real gets to choose one member of Dream Team, but not one that just came from their team. Michelle hangs her head. She knows what's coming. She's right too. They all decide very quickly that they would like Michelle. Looks like somebody's working with Patricia after all! She's upset about it. For her part, Patricia says that she is excited to be working with Michelle. Heh.
Tim gives them forty-five minutes to caucus (Love it! Get political, Tim!), then they will spend a half hour at the flower store and a half hour at the hardware store. Each team has a budget of $2500! The designers are very excited about this part. I like it when the show invests in the possibilities of the challenge. Let's give these guys a chance to do something awesome! They also have two days for the challenge.
The teams start caucusing. Stanley proposes that colors from nature would be a good idea. Well, since all flowers come from nature, this seems rather intuitive. God help the designer who decides to spray paint a punch of flowers. I can hear the disgust in the judges' voices now. Samantha says that, since Stanley and Layana have been on the winning team, she's happy to try to come to their level. At least, I think that is what she's trying to say. Yeah, that's what she's trying to say. Stanley proposes that their theme be Christian Dior from the early 1950's. They agree to do that. He says that "very vintage and pretty" is how they achieve that. Then, we see a sketch of a gown with wide straps and long skirt that flares. I guess the skirt is New Look, but the waist is not cinched enough. The thing is, early 1950's Christian Dior is very specific. It's called the New Look. Shoulder pads. Cinched waists. Dramatically flared skirts. This was like the main focus of my History of Costume class in college, so I'm just trying to add some value here.
On Team Keeping It Real, they have to decide what two designers are teaming up. Kate says that she wants to work alone. Amanda has decided to make a high-necked, fitted dress. She interviews that she is feeling like she needs to pick up the slack for team. Michelle and Richard decide to work together. They both wanted to make a high architectural collar, so they decide to work together. Richard says that they should really think outside of the box for this challenge. They should imagine that their client is someone like Bjork. Then, he says that he was thinking of their client being a cross between RuPaul and Gilligan's Island. Michelle looks like she just smelled a dead elephant. She interviews that the ideas spewing from his mouth are crazy. Actually, they make perfect sense and, in fact, move the challenge into the real world. Those people would actually wear garments from a hardware store and a flower shop. Gilligan's Island is a great source of inspiration too, because it's like glamour in paradise. You've got beautiful flowers and you've got tools, but you don't have access to the urbanity that you are used to. So, what do you do? Michelle is a killjoy. She interviews that she feels that, if her team is in the bottom and her dress is in the bottom three, she will be the one to go home. I guess I understand her fear. If they lose, she will be the only person who has been on a losing team for every single challenge.
Tim returns to take the designers shopping. They go to the hardware store first. Benjamin wishes that we used the metric system. Stanley thinks that his new team has a lot of energy and drive, but what they need is a win. Richard presents to Michelle the idea that they make their dress from white and black window blinds. She loves the idea. He says that it's everything. He thinks that a lot of things are everything. There's a deep philosophical observation to be made about that, but I'm afraid that it will be ultimately depressing and I really don't need that right now, so I'm going to leave it alone. He makes Michelle do a celebratory ponytail toss with him and I think she should feel really lucky that she is getting to have so much fun right now. She interviews that he has a lot of energy and excitement. We see him asking about several items in the hardware store, including a stuffed turtle (I think it's a turtle? It looks like a turtle. Or maybe a ram? We're going with turtle) and a water pump. Michelle put the kibosh on both of those ideas. She interviews that she is going to have to be the edit button for this challenge. Tim calls time and all of the designers move towards the cash registers. Patricia gives Michelle a hug of excitement and she bristles. She interviews that Patricia needs to stand back. OK, she's just being unkind now.
Now, it's on to the flower market. Benjamin reminds us that Dream Team is going to be using color as their cohesive element. We see Amanda asking someone if a flower that she is looking at is too Christmas-y. She interviews that she doesn't like flowers. She doesn't get them. She doesn't like their lines. I mean, I don't want to say that this makes me wonder if Amanda has a black soul, but... it's certainly a unique point-of-view. I don't think I've ever really heard of someone being that turned off by an entire huge section of things that live on this planet. Like, almost every plant has some sort of flower. I guess it's like people who aren't into babies. But, those people are usually waiters at brunches and have a perfectly good reason to hate babies. Unless you have just really insane allergies, the flower thing doesn't make sense. Nobody hates the lines of babies. If I get even a single email from anyone telling me how they hate the lines of babies, I don't even know. I'm going to become a televangelist.
We see Joe looking at some flowers. He says he likes plants that look like brains or things that look like they are eating the model. Joe's problem is with presentation, though maybe it's not a problem. If he were a little more matter-of-fact about ideas like that, instead of presenting it in a way that's just a little bit sheepish and expecting of ridicule, no one could really deny that his ideas are pretty fantastic. As it is, it feels like he's inviting comments about how strange he is. There are plenty of examples of people who find beauty in the grotesque or misshapen and often it's revolutionary. I'm kind of sad that he's being relegated as a sideshow. Also, we see Matt walking for a moment and every time I see him now, I feel like he's dancing. I never disliked him but this makes him so special in my book now.
Back at the workroom, Stanley and Layana are really helping to lead Dream Team. Amanda has chosen moss as her flower element, but it's crumbling on her dress form. Daniel recommends spraying it with a water bottle, because he thinks that it would create an adhesive. She likes this idea. Richard and Michelle are having problems too. Their blinds are not performing the way that they thought they would. They are blocked and Michelle is starting to worry, not that she wasn't worrying before.
The TV words tell us that there are five hours remaining until the end of day one. Kate is wearing safety goggles as she makes a skirt out of chicken wire. I didn't realize that chicken wire posed a danger to your eyes, buy I applaud her safety precautions. OK, y'all, Benjamin has created a loom and is weaving his own fabric. The resident voice of doom, Michelle, drops by to tell him that he is crazy. He interviews that he wants his work to be recognized in a positive light. Gosh, I get it, but wow. It's like jumping from the frying pan into the poorly time managed fire. It seems like he keeps attacking these challenges as if he's got weeks to complete them. And, I don't particularly see that much hustle in him. I wouldn't even allow as much interruption as Michelle is providing right now. As soon as Michelle got out "You're c-", I'd be like, "Move along. Working. No talk." Anyway, she interviews that he is digging his own grave. We see him telling Samantha that he hopes that the judges appreciate the detailing, but it depends on how long it takes. I'm thinking, why the HELL are you talking right now. Get to work! Seriously, I feel like I'm super empathetic to the rigorous quality of this competition and how exhausting it is and I know they have to take a moment every once in a while, but I feel very urgently that Benjamin needs to shut up and get to work. Also, he has a tattoo on his hand that reads "Love" and that's very sweet, though I wonder if he got it when he was in that abusive relationship. Wouldn't that be a mind fuck? You see the word "Love" and you think of someone ruining your life? Luckily, I associate that feeling with seeing the movie Precious and those things match up fairly intuitively. Matt says that Benjamin has screwed their team with time management issues before and if he does it again by being too ambitious once again, he's going to be really angry.
Stanley, who is looking super cute in his buttoned up blue polo, tells Layana that he's thinking of pockets for his look. She thinks that's a great idea. Stanley tells us that he's feeling really good about what his team is doing, except for Samantha. He's not sure what she's doing at all. Suddenly, Richard and Michelle find their way with their design. Both of them are feeling good now. It's the end of the day!
Tim loves Layana's dress. He finds Benjamin's loom really remarkable. Then, he talks to Samantha who is cutting out shapes in contact paper. Tim doesn't think that she has enough time to finish. The models come in for fitting and I'm frightened for them. There's lots of wires and nails happening on these looks. Joe is trying to figure out how to complete his look. He tells us that his design is not sexy -- it's more like a sweater. He doesn't think that every design has to be super sexy and form-fitting. I mean, just for diversity's sake, I really agree with him. Some people like their uniform, but some people want a variety of silhouettes at their disposal.
With five hours remaining, they get back to work. Amanda's moss is still falling off the dress. She hates it. Patricia says that she warned her about using the moss. Michelle correctly points out that it's not exactly a helpful thing to say at this point. Richard interviews that fixing the moss is a big problem for their team. Joe offers a really great solution that everyone loves. And, just in the nick of time. The day is over.
That night, Joe says that he will be sad whoever is sent the day. Amanda is worried about her dress staying in one piece, while Michelle feels like she's the bad luck charm.
The day, everyone is fairly chipper when Tim arrives. He thinks that the show is going to be thrilling. Layana tells Samantha that she had a dream about Samantha's skirt and she feels like it's messy. There's no real way to not be a little insulted by that. She says that she has got things under control. Layana says that she feels like she was chosen by this team in order to offer her point-of-view, which I guess isn't that horrible.
The models are back in for their final fittings. Michelle and Richard seem to be working well together. Kate tells us that she is using her immunity to do something bold. Stanley thinks that it looks like a pinata. I'm telling you guys right now that it's the only design that comes close to being New Look in the whole competition and she's not even on that team. Amanda is still not feeling great about her dress. She thinks that the back looks better than the front. Michelle still thinks that the collection is not cohesive at all.
The designers go to hair and make-up and think I see Stanley and Richard get a little quiet around Scott Patric, hot make-up daddy. That's fine. I understand. Joe is having a problem getting his dress onto his model. It finally happens. He forgot to put a zipper on? Or he forgot to use it? Weird either way. I like him.
On the runway, Heidi greets the designers. "Hi, design team!" She introduces Zac Posen, Nina Garcia and fashion writer Leandra Medine. She's so cute. There's an empty chair because there's a guest judge. It's Bette Midler! She could not be cuter. She comes onto the runway and says that they look like a good group. "Full of piss and vinegar." I wish Bette Midler did things that I wanted to watch these days.
The show begins with Daniel's look. It's a flower-covered dress with side bustles on the hips. Really gorgeous. All gray except for green at the bustles. He thinks it's one of the strongest designs on his team. Joe's look is . It's a boxy dress with flowers sort of dripping down. It reminds me of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, which is one of the Seven Wonders of the World. I haven't heard much about those gardens lately. I hope nothing has happened to them. Joe loves what he made.
Here is Richard and Michelle's look. It's really cool -- very Madonna Gaultier cone-boob. There are, as I alluded, cone boobs and there is also a cage-like skirt. All made from blinds. There is foliage under the cage to soften the look. It's pretty cool. Patricia's look is . It's this sort of brilliant array of flowers that shapelessly encompass the model. She says that it's very Frida Kahlo and she's exactly right. Her styling has gone a long way towards emphasizing the inspiration, though a monobrow would have been a brilliant touch.
Amanda's look is . It's not bad, though not great. It's a halter dress with a panel of nails around the neck, then orange-yellow flower petals, then green moss. It's cool. Amanda thinks that the stiffness is very 60's. There is a nice movement to the nails on the back of the dress too. Kate's dress is . It looks like all flowers, though we know that she created a crinoline effect with chicken wire. It is a dress with a very big skirt. There are white flowers on the bodice that blend into red flowers. It's very pretty. Tim's remark about it seeming like a crafts project frankly seems a little pointless. Kate said earlier that it actually is a crafts project. If the idea is to make something that looks like you could buy it at Barney's, yeah maybe she failed. But, flowers are beautiful. Why would you want to make flowers not look like flowers? And, flowers die. And, you wouldn't go to Barney's to by something that dies, ergo, these guys are making crafts projects. Deal. All of the team looks return and Layana says that the collection is not cohesive though each piece is individually beautiful.
Team Keeping It Real returns with their models. Kate explains the decade bullshit. She says that her dress was her idea of a Hitchcock leading lady. Heh. They all announce their decades, which are not bad. Zac calls Patricia's look Pow-Wow Chic, which is so perfect! Heidi says that she really likes all of these dresses too. Zac points out that the edge Dream Team had was their cohesion. Nina says that she didn't get the decades thing. Then, she asks Joe if he had a problem with his silhouette. He says that he did, which is weird. I thought he was confident with this. He says that he was envisioning an oversized coat. None of the judges got that. Bette doesn't like that there are horizontal lines sewed into the piece either. So, his decade was The Future and Zac asks him how he sees the future of fashion. He says that he sees a world where unconventional form is fine and people are dressing to feel good, not to enhance their figure. I think that is a very good answer. Bette points out that he's essentially saying that her concern about the horizontal lines is nonsense. She thinks his point of view is lovely and kind of spiritual. She's the best. Hey, that was the name of one of her movies! Heidi asks who should be sent home. Richard says Amanda because they were all dealing with her damn moss. Daniel, Joe and Patricia agree. Amanda says that it didn't feel that traumatic but maybe it was. Nina says that she can't see any problems with Amanda's design either. The judges confer.
This is hard. Backstage, Amanda seems a little let down. She's a great sport though. She interviews that she feels like her team is lying though, because they weren't spending that much time on her look. Bette gave Benjamin the highest score possible. Heidi high-scored Layana and Samantha. Nina loves Samantha too. She thinks it's feminine without hitting you over the head. She thinks that Layana's is a little bit better finished though. They all feel bad for Amanda. Nina doesn't think that it was that bad. Zac wasn't crazy about the proportion. Nina has a problem with Joe's look. He effed himself by calling it a coat. Zac doesn't like his idea of the future, but Heidi says that she understands it. Zac just thinks that he should have really gone over the top. Hmm, their lack of cohesion bites them on the ass again. Bette thinks that Amanda getting blamed was just contagious. Nina thought that she seemed a bit defeated, which she wasn't crazy about. The judges agree that the elimination is painful.
Everyone returns to the stage. Samantha is the winner! Dream Team leaves the runway. Kate, Daniel, Patricia, Michelle and Richard are safe. That leaves Joe and Amanda. Ergh. Heidi reminds them that this wasn't an easy decision. Joe...is out. Amanda hugs Joe before leaving the runway. Heidi says it was a tough one before giving him his auf wiedersehen. I hate this. He interviews that the most positive part of this experience was meeting all of these designers. Tim comes in and congratulates everyone. Joe says that the world will go on. He thinks his work is kind of profound and will reach the world somehow. That's like the best exit line ever.
Tim tells the remaining designers that, in ten minutes, they have to return to the runway. Heidi has unfinished business! To be continued?!! But, seriously, isn't the whole show kind of continuous?
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong. He was kidding about the Hanging Gardens. He knows they're not around anymore. Or maybe ever were.