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So, Christopher is really pissed that Gunnar was saved during the last challenge. He would have preferred that Nathan was granted clemency during the challenge when he was eliminated. Heidi tells the designers that they will be using their negotiation skills for this challenge. They get to the workroom and find a bunch of arts and crafts supplies. Tim tells them that they won't have a budget at Mood but instead will have to do their own fundraising. They'll be able to sell t-shirts as well as whatever else. And, they're going to be on teams of three. No one even pretends to not hate this. The teams are chosen from the button bag. Christopher, Sonjia and Gunnar are on the same time. Drama. Dmitry, Elena and Alicia are on the same time. Drama. Which leaves Ven, Fabio and Melissa together. Heaven.
Elena is a nightmare from the get go. Watching these guys try to sell these things is one of the saddest things I've watched in a while. It gets better the longer it goes on, but it's painful. Weird thing though is that they all made a fair chunk of change. Each team will create two looks for Fall, including at least one piece of outerwear. Sonjia is super psyched because outerwear is her jam. Elena is bossy pants in her group and Alicia and Dmitry are too timid to say anything at first.
Once they have returned from Mood, Christopher and Sonjia talk about how horrible it would be to have been chosen for Elena's team. Also, they know how much she and Dmitry fight and wonder how that is going to affect Alicia. Everyone hates these exposed darts that Dmitry is including in his dress. Seriously, they act like he shot someone. Ven is still using that fan effect and Tim tells his group that his skirt, though masterful, is standing out in their collection. In a bad way. Tim questions whether or not Sonjia has overdesigned her jacket. Elena, always a voice of calm critique, says that Christopher's coat is one of the ugliest things she has ever seen.
Elena is such an asshole to Dmitry. She's a jerk to Alicia as well. Sonjia's and Christopher's outerwear attempts are not really up to par, while everyone seems to like Gunnar's dresses. Elena wants to have her jacket zipped on the runway, which means it would completely cover the pants that Alicia had made. Alicia says no. It's ugly. Everyone else is thankful that they weren't on the same team as Elena. Christopher will be the last designer to have immunity for having won a challenge.
Anna Sui is the guest judge! The show begins and I kind of like Dmitry's exposed darts. Elena's jacket bites. You can't see Alicia's stuff. Sonjia's jacket looks great. Christopher's coat is iffy. Gunnar's dresses are, you know, pretty remarkable. I really love Ven's new skirt. I don't know about Fabio's jacket. Melissa's contribution is pretty cute.
Christopher's team wins, while the other two teams are up for elimination. Anna Sui reminds everyone that teamwork is very important. Christopher picks Gunnar as the person who should win, which I thought was pretty cool. Elena was so crazy on the runway. Completely crazy from the beginning of their critique. They hated her coat but they weren't excited about Alicia's work. Heidi hated the work from Melissa's team. Sonjia is the winner of the challenge. It looks like Fabio might be leaving. I'm bracing myself. Melissa is in. Ven is in. Elena is in. Gross. Dmitry is in. Alicia is... out. I'm sad about that too. Elena? How long are we going to let her ruin everything?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The designers created a dress for Lord & Taylor to sell. Sonjia had tons of problems and Gunnar loved the challenge, but come judgment time Gunnar was one of the low scorers. He and Alicia were in the bottom, but the judges decided that all of them met the bar and no one was eliminated.
It's morning at the Atlas Building and Sonjia is ironing her clothes as we hear her interview that she's trying to get her head back in the game after her disastrous performance. She totally pulled a Frances Farmer in the workroom right before the runway show. It was actually a little glamorous.
In the boys' apartment, Fabio is drinking some sort of mugged beverage (I'm assuming green tea, perhaps hojicha, he's just sensitive like that) and looking so cute. I mean, come on. The thing that is so freaking rad to me about Fabio is how his look is layered in a way that only a lifetime of being a complete badass can accomplish. The beard, the tattoos, the articles of clothing picked up from different places along the way. All put together to create something so unique but organic. You're always going to notice a dude like Fabio walk in the room but you're never going to hate him for trying too hard. Like, I'm seriously not even trying to bag on him, but Christopher's oversized scarf always looks out of place and a little forced to me. It doesn't match something... his hair, the rest of his look. It's too grand dame while the rest of him is sort of casual edgy. I don't know. Fabio's dreamy is all I really trying to say.
Gunnar says that he's psyched that he gets to find out what they are doing today, in reference to his placement at the bottom of the judging of the last challenge. He interviews that, obviously, he had a moment there where he thought he was going home he's still here. Christopher is not feeling so positive about the experience. In the other boy apartment, he says to Ven that he wanted Nathan to stay. He interviews that he doesn't like that the judges chose that challenge to keep everyone. "This is what they keep? Gunnar?" He and Ven agree with themselves that Gunnar's somehow lacking in talent. I mean, I haven't really seen that. They keep talking about his inferior construction skills, but it would seem to me that he wouldn't be able to get such an awesome fit on his model time after time if he was really that bad. Maybe they just think he doesn't run the sewing machines as well as they do? I don't know, but his stuff looks good on the tube. "I'm so furious right now. Someone should have fucking went home." OK, he needs to calm down.
At Parsons, Heidi greets the designers on the runway. She tells them that for the challenge, they will need, in addition to their design skills, some negotiation skills. Elena kind of grunts and I can't tell if it's a grunt of "Holy shit, no one likes me, this is dangerous" or a "Do I get to use my brass knuckles for this?" grunt. Heidi asks the group which of them is a good negotiator and everyone raises their hand. Hmm, we'll see. Alicia interviews that she has been in the bottom two twice and just really needs to make something dope. Tim is waiting for them in the workroom to tell them about the challenge. "Negotiation?" ponders Sonjia as Heidi gallops away.
In the workroom, the designers arrive to find tons of arts and crafts shit. My worst nightmare. I don't know when to stop. My own forays into arts and crafts offend every sing sensibility I have in regards to aesthetics. There's just something in my brain that's like, "Hey, I'm here, you're here pipe cleaners and little pom-pom balls, wanna get naked and just seriously fuck up this shoe box or hand mirror that your poor mother is going to get for Mothers Day?" Like, arts and crafts brings out a weird sex addiction-type behavior in me. It's all quantity. I'm dead-eyed Michael Fassbender just fucking the fuck out of every color of glitter puffy glue that you can provide for me. I'm terrified just thinking about it.
Melissa says that when they walked into the room and saw all of the arts and crafts stuff, she was immediately excited. That's really shocking to me. She doesn't seem like the type. Gunnar, who has been so successful (at least as a presence on our televisions that we don't hate, if not as a designer) approaching these later challenges with something a friend of mine referred to as an "anti-cynicism," is grinning and upbeat and hugs an already miserable Elena. Bitch needs to pull herself together. Elena interviews that she doesn't like sparkles or glitter or any of that shit. She really seems to thrive on negative energy. It's uncomfortable for me to watch.
Tim greets them and tells them that this is an exciting day. They're not going to have a budget for this challenge. They're going to be doing their own fundraising. Hmm. They are going to be creating merchandise for people to buy on the streets. There are t-shirts all around. He says that they are going to be creating fun things that will be irresistible to people so that they can go shopping for fabrics and notions at Mood. Elena complains that, not only do they have to make ugly-ass shit, they have to try to sell it to New Yorkers on the streets. "Are you kidding me?" Yes, Elena. This is all a joke. The show, after 10 seasons, has decided that this will be the austere season, except for the practical joke that the show features twists and turns and challenges just like every other one of its seasons. The real show starts after this one is finished. I'm being silly, but her constant shock that the show is requiring things of them that it has required from everyone since the series' inception is highly annoying. Tim says that they're not limited to selling merchandise. They can sell fashion advice or alterations, if they'd like. He asks them what they think and Dmitry says, "Crazy." He assures them that it's going to be fun.
Then, he tells them that they are going to be working in teams of three. Elena rests her head on Gunnar's head in defeat. Tim kind of giggles. Ven interviews that working in a team of five was bad enough. He's not looking forward to it, meaning he's not going to be as chipper and jovial as we're used to him being. There will be no team leaders for this challenge. Melissa interviews that she would prefer not to be on a team with Elena again and we see the footage of when Elena screamed at Melissa during the working ladies challenge. That was crazy. Seriously, who yells at Melissa? Tim is going to choose the teams from the button bag. Yay. Random is fun.
The choosing begins. The first button out of the bag is Christopher's, which Tim finds interesting considering Christopher won the last challenge. Cut to an interview with Gunnar. He says there are two reasons he doesn't want to work with Christopher. First, he just doesn't like Christopher. Second, he can't stand the sound of his voice, which, try as he might, doesn't sound clinical and really just sounds like a byproduct of the first reason. That said, those who live with glass larynxes, should not talk the way they talk, ever. Also, they shouldn't throw stones. But, seriously, Gunnar's voice. It rests in this place that is so unsupported that I wonder if his diaphragm has atrophied. Tim reminds Christopher that he is the last designer to have immunity granted because of a challenge win. Then, he chooses Sonjia's button. She exclaims, "Baby girl!" and gives Christopher five. The button chosen? Gunnar's. Sweet. Christopher is super-pissed in his interview. He says that he doesn't know how they're going to make this work. It's really icky and tense when Gunnar goes to stand beside him. Sonjia says that the two of them on the same team is going to be "drama central." We can only hope.
, Tim chooses Dmitry's button. And...Elena is chosen . Oh man. That's almost too much to have wished for. Also, it may be too much to watch. Dmitry wonders what he did in a past life to deserve this.... Which gives me an idea. They should have a Shirley MacLaine-hosted version of Lisa Kudrow's genealogy show called Who Do You Think You Were?". That's a quality idea. Patent pending. Dmitry says, "My love," to Elena as she stands beside him. He gives her a shoulder hug as he interviews that it is impossible to communicate with her, so he's nervous about the challenge. Alicia is the last button chosen. She's not excited about working with Dmitry and Elena, known natural enemies. That means that the last team is Ven, Fabio and Melissa. Fabio says that he feels confident because his team is the only team where every member has won a challenge.
Now, it's time for these guys to craft. I wonder if Rosie O'Donnell will be the guest judge for this challenge. Gunnar pitches an idea about a face on a t-shirt. Fabio interviews that his group gets to work right away. He focuses on the t-shirts, Melissa paints tote bags and Ven is making accessories. Fabio points out that they don't know what the challenge is, so they're just making as many items as they can. Sonjia says that there group is just stenciling little figures that represent elements of fashion onto t-shirts. Christopher draws a face onto a t-shirt and Gunnar says that he loves it. Then, he jokes that it looks like a mug shot. Christopher laughs and says, "Have you seen this person?" He interviews that he and Gunnar are on a different level than they were before. He says though that it's hard to tell whether or not Gunnar is being sincere. Here's the thing, he's not being sincere. I think his natural state would be a little bitchier, but I feel like he has made a conscious effort to combat that sort of behavior in order to take advantage of the good things that come with positive energy. I really don't feel that that's a far-fetched idea and I think that was maybe what my friend was getting at with the anti-cynical comment.
Elena says that their plan is just to paint a bunch of shit in a lot of different ways and she looks like she's going at it in a fairly haphazard fashion. She says that all of it came out pretty ugly. She is correct. Jesus. This shit is ugly. Of course, she only decides to judge it harshly after all of it is finished. There's something wrong with her and the way she does stuff. She presents herself as this crazy control freak when really it seems like she's only crazy defensive. Sonjia says that they made "the most homeless t-shirts" she's ever seen.
Dmitry, who is laboring under no illusion that they've created something amazing, suggests adding some sort of adornment to the sleeve of one of the tees. Elena doesn't like the suggestion and he says that he thinks his adjustment might make it special, since currently they just have some hideously painted white shirts. She just thinks his idea is "lame." He interviews that she never has anything positive to say. When she steps away, Dmitry asks who the eff is going to buy something from Elena. "She's like walking depression." I kind of love Dmitry. There's nothing planned about his persona and I really appreciate that. He tells Alicia that you try to work with Elena but she just keeps putting everything down. Alicia interviews that she just wishes that Elena would calm down. If they are good salespeople, they will be able to unload the shirts whether they are good or not. She says that it has never been more imperative that they make it work.
Tim comes in and I guess it's time for them to sell this stuff. It looks like they go to the Meatpacking District. They have two hours to sell. I guess that's a good place, at least in the sense that almost everyone working there is going to be aware of the show and probably easy to convince to support them. I think I've said it before, but it's also one of the worst places in the free world. More than once I've seen seemingly put-together girls stumble in their sky high heels on the cobblestones while puking up their bottomless mimosas before 4 PM ON A SUNDAY. And, it just keeps happening. It's like Leaving Las Vegas crossed with Confessions of a Shopaholic. All of the time.
The designers are all carrying signs stating their need. It looks like they're having a rough time in the beginning. Sonjia notes that some people treated them like street urchins. Elena's sales pitch includes mentioning that their shirts are crappy. That doesn't seem like a great idea. In this situation, I would go to the Upper West Side, where there are lots of sweet (rich) old ladies. And, I would cry. With t-shirts and tears, I would have enough to retire by the end of the day. I don't do this because it wouldn't be earned and I am ALL about integrity. Also, I don't have a bunch of t-shirts. That's really the only the standing between me and a life of leisure: a code of ethics and a lack of inventory.
With one hour remaining, it looks like everyone is struggling. They make a smart move and tell people that they can buy or donate. I'd almost bet that the donation request is an easier sell, for whatever reason. Elena interview that she took the initiative to approach people because Alicia is shy and Dmitry is a "one-liner person" who goes "Boo Blah Blah" and then doesn't say anything else. I'm starting to just really get sick of her. It's like she just makes up something shitty if she doesn't already have something shitty to say. A "one-liner person"? What the hell does that even really mean? Two girls want to donate less than what Sonjia and co. were charging for a shirt, but they still ask for one. Sonjia says she'll give them a song, then she breaks into a soul wrenching rendition of "Can I Get A Drinky Drink." Never heard of it? Rude. They all start having a really good time. People bargain with them too.
Tim meets up with them and asks Elena's team how they did. She replies that they did pretty well. Then, he tells them that he will see them the day at the runway to find out how much money they earned. Melissa's team earned $800.48. That is a heck of a lot of money to be collected in two hours! Tim wants to know how they got the 48 cents and they say some nice guy just reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. Make that change. Gunnar says that they collected $648. Elena says that their team collected $500 on the dot. They are going to stay in their teams for the challenge and they money they earned will be their budget. Each team is creating two looks for Fall and one of the looks must include outerwear. One member of the winning team will be the winner and one member of the losing team will be out. Sonjia is incredibly excited because Fall and outerwear are her things. Tim says that they should spend every cent that they raised at Mood and Christopher whispers to Gunnar, "Cashmere Darling."
They have a sketching session and Melissa interviews that Ven's aesthetic is very formal, while she's edgy and Fabio is street. She's interested to see how their styles will mesh. Christopher seems to do a good job of trying to pull elements of Sonjia's design into his own. Elena is pretty controlling in her group. She's making a coat and wouldn't really listen to Alicia's suggestion that they make it in navy blue.
At Mood, Elena's team seems to settle on using different shades of gray. Christopher cracks that, by the season's end, he's going to have the legs of a Hungarian shot putter, from climbing all of the stairs at Mood. Sonjia looks for some wool knits and becomes uncomfortable with the color choices. They waste so much time with that that they ultimately have to split up and buy stuff separately.
Back at the workroom, Elena is immediately planting doubts in everyone's minds about their direction. She tells Dmitry that she hates one of his ideas and he ignores her and just keeps working, which is probably the smartest things he could have done. Sonjia and her team discuss how dysfunctional Team Elena is. Christopher says that they will rip Alicia apart onstage if they're in the bottom. He interviews that Elena and Dmitry argue like Boris and Natasha. Also, he's thankful that he's not in a group with Elena, as every group she is in goes kaput. She doesn't want Dmitry to make a dress, but he's not relenting. Alicia says that she doesn't have patience for other people's drama, but I'm not sure that she has it in her to stand up for any sort of vision.
Tim comes in for a consultation and notes that everyone seems a bit grim. Dmitry tells Tim that they are making a dress and a coat over slacks and a shirt. Tim tells Alicia to be conscious of the fit of her pants. Gunnar says that Dmitry is making yet another dress when he had said before that he wants to make outerwear. Tim is shocked by Dmitry's exposed darts on his dress. It's like he killed someone. Everyone is mortified. It doesn't seem so fucking crazy to me.
Ven tells Tim that they wanted their collection to feel light. Sonjia says that Ven can't get past the fan effect in his looks and she finds it boring. Tim doesn't think that the same woman who wears Fabio's coat would wear Ven's fan skirt. Ven interviews that he's really disappointed in Tim's critique.
Gunnar tells Tim that they are working on a sort of military look. Christopher is making a long trench and Sonjia is making a shorter jacket and will attach leather sleeves. Tim thinks that the leather is too much and will look like she's trying too hard. He cautions her to not overdesign. Elena thinks that Christopher's long trench looks like a Snuggie. The weird thing is, she's saying it like that's an insult. But, she wouldn't. Gunnar made the dresses underneath the coats and they're already done!"
Tim leaves and they get to work. Elena tells Dmitry that she's liking her look. Dmitry agrees and says that it looks more sporty. Then, Elena giggles and mimics him saying "sporty" over and over again. And, sorry to bring this up again, but I can't help feeling there is a tinge of something going on there- that something that I was feeling last week. She's doing a very fey impression of him. Dmitry is not person who really invites that sort of thing, I don't feel. I really hate being the guy that seems oversensitive, but it seems like there is a pattern of these women slurring the masculinity of their male competitors. From Sonjia talking about how guys don't know how to design for women, to the whole Silk Chiffonies thing, to this. I can't help it. It really bothers me. It feels like an attempt to devalue everything they do and say. Now mind you, I understand that the don't have to like each other and they want to be competitive. That's not the issue. There are other ways to win than this kind of shitty behavior. Christopher says that he wishes they had a horse tranquilizer. Dmitry interviews that, in order to kill the witch, you need a silver bullet and a wooden stake.
The models come in for a fitting. Everyone thinks that Gunnar's dresses, the ones that are going to be covered by the outerwear, are great. Elena tells him that they look like something that she would do. That's a huge compliment. Yeah, I just don't like her now. Gunnar is worried because his dresses are the strongest thing in the collection and Christopher has immunity, so he's wondering if maybe his ass isn't in gear or some such. I doubt that's the case. They compare Sonjia's coat to Legends of Zelda. That's not good.
Ven makes a skirt and he doesn't feel great about it, but Fabio seems to like it. Elena doesn't think that Alicia's pants are tailored enough. "I don't like it," she says, effectively shutting Alicia down. I think she would have listened had she not been so horrible.
The morning, Melissa is worried about Fabio's coat. He didn't put any liner in the collar and it's falling a little flat. Elena thinks that it looks like a dress. Dmitry thinks that, though they had the most money, their collection looks cheap. The models come in and everyone gets fitted. Hair and makeup happens too! Christopher is still happy that he's not in a group with Elena.
The designers go to the runway and Heidi greets them again. She introduces Michael, Nina and guest judge Anna Sui. She's awesome. Now, it's time for the show! First up is Elena's group. Dmitry made the first look it's a fitted black dress with an asymmetrical cutout on one clavicle. It's pretty and is coupled with a fringe shawl. I kind of like the shawl. is Elena's structured jacket over pants and a top from Alicia. It's all pretty limp.
The collection is Sonjia and co. Sonjia's jacket is cute. It's forest green and is coupled with Gunnar's dress which is tweed and leather. He makes a similar dress that is worn over Christopher's short sleeved trench in camel. It's pretty smart looking. And, I have to say, once again Gunnar's dresses are fitting like a glove.
The Ven collection is last. First is Melissa's short and cool jacket over a lavender top and gray skirt. This is the skirt that Ven remade. I don't mind the silhouette, but the colors are kind of gross. They look like wan pajama colors. Melissa's embarrassed about the hemline of the shirt. is Fabio's coat and shirt, with pants made by Ven and designed by Melissa. Everything's just sort of flat and the shirts seem too thin for Fall.
After the show, Heidi tells Gunnar, Sonjia and Christopher that their team is the winner. Their models return to the stage. Sonjia explains who made what and it's very cute the way she sounds a little nervous. Michael loves the camel coat that Chris made. He's also very fond of the dress. Heidi says her favorite piece is the jacket of Sonjia's and everyone agrees. Nina thinks it hits just the right spot on the model (it really does). Anna says that teamwork is vital in design and she asks them how to work. Gunnar says that they would work apart, then come together. Heidi asks who of them does each think should win. Christopher says Gunnar, which is very nice. Gunnar says Gunnar and Sonjia says Sonjia.
Now, it's time for the losers. Elena pouts while Dmitry explains their pieces. Heidi notices and asks and Elena says she's pissed because Dmitry and Alicia essentially completed a look and only left her with one coat to show her stuff. Dmitry says that he's happy to compromise (to which Elena rolls her eyes) but Elena is impossible to work with. Then, she says that they had to build the collection around his dress because that's the only thing that he knows how to do. He laughs from shock then says that she only makes coffins. SLAM.
Heidi takes a deep exhale and says, "OK." Nina seems a little embarrassed too. She says that they need to see something from Dmitry besides dresses. She didn't like the shawl. She thinks that the volume in Elena's jacket looks like a mistake. Then, she slams Elena for only making coats. She says that she was the only person on her team who could make a coat and Dmitry says that, since she was complaining that she didn't have enough to do, she should have made a nicer coat. Also very good. They hate Alicia's top and pants. Heidi says that they're not interesting. Anna thinks that their bad attitudes are reflected in the clothes. Elena says Dmitry should go home. Dmitry says Elena. Alicia says she respects Elena more as a designer, so she chooses Dmitry.
Fabio explains their collection. Heidi says that they were her least favorites. She only likes the jacket that Melissa made. Everyone thinks that it looks cheap. When it comes time to pick who should go home, they all resist. Anna says that maybe this is a sign of what went wrong -- they should have challenged each other more. Ven and Melissa choose Fabio, while Fabio chooses Ven because of his affinity for Melissa.
Backstage, Elena says that she regrets leaping to insult her teammates before the critique ever began, but she was angry. Dmitry says that she wakes up angry. Heh. The judges confer. They really liked everybody on Team Sonjia. Nina seems to be pushing for Christopher for the win. They all really liked Gunnar's dresses too. They really had a problem with Dmitry's shawls. They thought it was a throwaway. They hated Elena's jacket. Nina said it was tortured. Michael says she is angry and Anna says she made an angry coat. Alicia, however, didn't fight for anything. Anna thinks that Team Melissa was all too nice to each other. Michael thinks that they were all too busy thinking how fabulous they were to make well thought out clothing. Michael says that Ven's skirt could be worn as a dirndl to a beer hall. They hated Fabio's clothes.
The losers come back to the stage. Sonjia wins the challenge! She's so happy. The winners leave the stage. Backstage, Gunnar says that he's glad he's not on the runway. Back on the runway, Melissa is in. Ven is in. Elena is in. Boo. Dmitry is in. It's down to Alicia and Fabio. Oh no. Alicia... is out. Heidi kisses her and she's out. She interview that there was more that she wanted to show. Tim comes in and remarks that the room seems somber. He sends her away as we hear the popular refrain that we haven't heard the last of her.
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong.