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The designers meet Tim at the South Street Seaport to get the details of their challenge. It's apparently the Lexus challenge, so that's awesome. They're going to dress up some cars. Wait. No, they have to make Emmy gowns in the color of an assigned Lexus (that's some stretch) for special guests. They work in teams of two, which no one seems psyched about. They play this weird key game to find their partners then get taken in a Lexus to their clients. Christopher and Andrea are a team and Anya from Season 9 is their client! She's just as gorgeous as ever. Alicia and Raul are designing for Mila from Season 7. Kooan and Gunnar meet Irina from Season 6 and from the beginning things look contentious. Melissa and Dmitry work with April, which seems perfect to me (at least the Melissa part). Sweet Valerie from Season 8 is the muse for Nathan and Sonjia. Laura Bennett!! Oh, this is fun. Buffi and Elena (who are completely bummed about working together) are designing for her. Then, Fabio and Ven get Kenley.
During the consultations, Irina is pretty difficult. She almost makes me feel sorry for Gunnar. At Mood, Melissa and Dmitry have a problem finding the fabrics that they want. Alicia and Raul decide on a print for Mila. Tim comes in to tell the designers that the winner of the challenge will get to go to the Emmys. Ven gets frustrated that Fabio isn't as skilled as him. Elena gets stressed and it really skunks up the room. April totally seems like the best client, added to the fact that Melissa and Dmitry really work well together. Mila doesn't really like the print that Alicia and Raul choose, but she's really cool about leading them in the direction that she would prefer. Kenley continues to redeem herself for her behavior on her initial season by being a really great client. Elena is a stress ball and I felt like I was going to have a seizure watching her. Christopher starts to freak out because Andrea moves at a snail's pace. Raul totally hates the red carpet. I get it, but I don't think you're even allowed to say that.
On the runway, the guest judge is Krysten Ritter from that show with the long name that's actually pretty funny. The one with Dawson. I have to say, I kind of loved most of the gowns. Mila's doesn't look great, but I think that comes from those guys just not being that into evening wear. The dress Gunnar and Kooan made for Irina is not great. Valerie's is cute but maybe too tight? WEIRD - Gunnar and Kooan have a high score. Ven and Fabio are in the top, which was more expected. God, everyone, I really can't stand Gunnar. I did like his green sweater though.
Mila is cool about how horrible her dress is. The judges are not as cool with it. Anya is also cool, though she says that Christopher and Andrea seemed too ambitious. Christopher really reveals himself to be not as nice as we thought he was. He completely throws Andrea under that stupid bus. He's a big baby about it too. Krysten seems really embarrassed by the exchange. He's actually quite horrible. Ven is the winner of the challenge. The bottom two are Alicia and Raul. I'm sad for Raul, but he's out and I'm glad it's not Alicia.
Also? Andrea apparently leaves in the middle of the night.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: It was the Unconventional Materials challenge and the designers had to use items found at Dylan's Candy Bar. Lantie was eliminated for really just not getting it at all.
The title sequence this year... these guys could not be worse actors. "Get it together!" Christopher says and it reminds me of Valerie Cherish saying "I don't wanna see that!" In fact, all of them seem like that. My take-away is that Lisa Kudrow is a genius and that show is perfect and you should all watch it. The Palm Springs episode as well as the finale are brilliant.
Everybody is sitting around having breakfast and Ven says that he is glad that during the challenge he went with his "vision." I honestly have no earthly idea what he's talking about since there didn't appear to be a single thing that was pulling him in any other direction. Raul, who is having breakfast to Ven, interviews that he thinks that Ven might be a one-trick pony. Everything can't always be pretty. Oh God. Listen, Lifetime, if we're going to prompt these people to speak critically of each other, please invest in some writers or even just buy a thesaurus or that book of idioms and make the designers flip through it so that we don't hear things that seriously have been repeated every one of these 10 seasons. I mean, I feel like I'm even repeating myself by writing that. I understand that fashion is sort of culture's silly putty and it's just mimicking what's happening in the world (which repeats itself often), therefore it makes sense that we would hear the makers of fashion utter similar repetitions; but...this is TV. You can't repeat yourself like that. Or you shouldn't. Who am I kidding? All of these shows repeat themselves. The Bachelor and the stupid "feelings" and "falling for" bullshit. The Biggest Loser and their ridiculous "journey." Can't anything be new? At least new-ish? I'm sick of all of these stupid phrases. They don't mean anything anymore.
In related news, I was actually talking to my therapist this week about sort of the same thing. Anyway, I hate most rhetoric and my therapist was saying that he really dislikes the phrase "Fake it til you make it." And, my reply? "I always think of Apprentice: Martha Stewart when I hear that." And, at that moment, I saw my doctor mentally clear an hour a week in his calendar for the five to seven. Waa. This may sound random and a little insane, but all of the redundancies I mentioned are precisely why So, You Think You Can Dance is the best reality show on television. They constantly change the format and it keeps you engaged. And when they change the format, they're very honest about why they're doing it. It's purely to make things more exciting. In the end, their purpose of delivering dance to a wide audience is better served because we're all more engaged by the show format and the ins and outs of the competition rules. Something about Project Runway really needs to be changed around. I forget almost everything that has been made the second I click off the television. I'm afraid that Buffi's melted cotton candy bird's nest hat is going to be my only memory of this entire season.
The guys are sitting around their bedroom pondering what today's challenge will be. Kooan proposes that maybe today they will work with noodles. Oh Kooan.
At the runway, Heidi greets the designers wearing a top that makes her look like some sort of glazed pastry. Did Seal dress her before or something? What is happening to her wardrobe this season? I seriously don't know what bug is up my ass about this show right now, but, you know what? I'm just gonna go with it. Heidi reminds Ven that he has immunity this week. She says that their challenge is going to be to create a look that is red carpet ready. Kooan says that something makes him go "Ahhh!"? I don't know. I'm not really sure about Lifetime's decision to NOT subtitle everything that Kooan says but if they wanted me to be really confused even after rewinding that four times, they should enjoy that victory. There will likely be more where that came from. But, seriously life goes on and sometimes you just have to go, you know what, Kooan? I don't understand what the fuck you're saying and I'm just going to have to enjoy you viscerally. Not your viscera. I'm not going to kill you. I'm just going to let you wash over me. That all just sounded really gross.
Tim and a special guest will meet the designers at South Street Seaport to discuss the challenge, which will apparently have a lot of "twists and turns." Great.
Thank heavens the designers go straight to the Seaport and don't spend 30 seconds going, "I'm thinking that maybe we'll be set loose in a labyrinth or we'll be designing for Paula Abdul." Tim says that the designers will be creating looks for clients that have a lot of empathy for their situation. Gunnar thinks that maybe it will be former contestants? So, he has those gauge things in his earlobes. Did he have those before? I don't remember them. You know, his personal style is a lot more daring than his work. His other guesses are that they'll dress each other or Heidi. Those are pretty good guesses except for the empathy and Heidi part. I feel like she's gotten more sadistic as the show has progressed. Anyway, Gunnar hopes that it's her because she's life-sized Barbie. At first, I thought he said "Lifetime's Barbie" and I really liked the image of a TV network playing with dolls that were real people.
Also, Tim drops the bomb that they will be making this dress for the Emmys. Big stuff. So, there's this guy from Lexus there too. And, all of the designers are going to be assigned a car? And, they have to make their dress the color of the car? Got it? They're going to have 300 bucks and one day to complete their looks. Don't you want to be the lucky lady who gets to wear to the Emmys a dress made in one day? Brian Bolain from Lexus then gives a speech about cars. Once we wake up again. Tim tells everyone that they'll work in teams of two. Elena immediately interviews that she doesn't want to work with anyone. In fact all of them gnash their teeth about working on teams, as if they never considered that it might happen; though every third or so challenge in the history of this show has been a team challenge. So, you know, get over it.
Tim hands out keys and the keys that match the same car decide the team members. Christopher cracks that this will probably be the only time he holds one of those keys. That's a carefree statement about class, but I think he's forgotten that a Lexus is also a prize for the winner this year. Get it together, Christopher! I don't wanna see that! Christopher and Andrea are team members. Christopher interviews that he loves her aesthetic and they are totes going to own this.
Sonjia and Nathan are together. She thinks they'll be a good match. Elena is disappointed when she's matched with Buffi. Actually, neither of them are happy. Ven is also disappointed about working with lovely Fabio, though he acknowledges that he's not the weakest designer. Kooan legit sprints to Gunnar when they are matched up. Melissa and Dmitry are working together, which I think will be good for him. She's kind of my favorite right now. She's drama-free and bright and talented. I just dig her. Raul and Alicia are together and he's pleased because they both have a background in menswear. He hopes that their client will be a man. That so rarely happens that it seems ridiculous to actually wish it. Also, that thing he's doing with his hair. The sad Ed Grimley. It's not cute.
They all get into their respective Lexii and they're off. Andrea and Christopher are driving and who do they see? It's ANYA! Oh my heavens. She's gorgeous as ever. Still not my friend, but I'm working on that. Want a strange story? They're meeting her at Tompkins Square Park on 9th and Avenue A. Like a hundred years ago, during the second season, I saw Daniel Vosovic exactly across the street from that very spot. That's strange to me. Anyway, she's their client.
Alicia and Raul go to Williamsburg and find Mila. Meh. Raul says that she's very rock and roll. Also, she's wearing a jacket so he thinks that maybe she'll be into menswear. Gunnar and Kooan go to some cafe and meet Irina, who I know nothing about. That was the season the lovely Al Lowe was covering the show and... well, there you are. I did see one dude from that season at a party and texted her a photo to confirm. She confirmed but now I don't remember who it was. Kooan interviews that she knows about fashion and it's going to be difficult because she was the winner and hello. No, THIS is difficult, Kooan. Irina tells the boys that the dress needs to be fabulous.
Melissa and Dmitry meet April at a restaurant! Her hair is purple. Awesome. Melissa thinks that this is a great match. Sonjia and Nathan find Valerie from Season 8! She's so sweet. Sonjia feels good about it. Buffi and Elena are working with Laura Bennett! Yay! Love her. Buffi sees her wearing leopard print and a contrasting jacket, so she feels safe. Ven and Fabio are going to be working with Kenley! Ven, who's quite the contrarian, points out that they don't have the same design aesthetic.
The consultations begin and April tells Ven and Dmitry that her hair will remain purple. Gunnar tells Irina that, though her dress has to have some white in it per the challenge requirements, they were thinking of accenting it with black. She tells them, in the bitchiest way possible, not to make her a checker board. Anya tells Chris and Andrea that she doesn't want to show her stomach. They all laugh because they would NEVER! Kenley tells her guys that she loves tulle and crinoline. She's being very big. Fabio likes her but can tell that she might be a little difficult. She tells them that she's just trying to inspire them. I think Kenley's is very engaged and ultimately kind. I'm down with her now. Irina is purposefully being a bitch to Gunnar, which I guess I can understand. After Buffi and Elena have shared a sketch with Laura, she jokes that it's very easy to talk about the ideas and much more difficult to execute.
At Mood, everybody's shufflin' shufflin'. Gunnar tells us that, when it comes to fashion, he can be a controlling bitch. He's just a regular bitch the rest of the time. It looks like Ven is going with Kenley's love of tulle. Alicia and Raul decide to use a print, though they didn't discuss that with Mila. Dmitry and Melissa can't find the fabric that they want, so they choose a silk charmeuse, which makes them very nervous.
At the workroom, everyone discusses with former contestant they are working with. Christopher makes a remark about how loud Kenley is. Gunnar is nervous because he has the most difficult client plus he's not sure how he and Kooan are going to work together. Well, she has a fantastic figure, so he has that working for him. I honestly really don't understand anything that Kooan says or means.
Raul makes a good point when he says that they're effectively working with a third designer. Ven is really working to make Kenley happy. Gunnar seems like he's really trying to listen to Kooan. Christopher is confident that he and Andrea will be able to deliver exactly what Anya is looking for. Elena instructs Buffi to start creating pleats less than an inch apart on their fabric. That's going to take a long time.
Christopher is excited to be able to learn from Andrea's experience. She has dressed celebrities before and he hasn't. He sounds really earnest about the whole thing and that's nice. Elena's a real bitch about Buffi's skills. It sounds like pleat-duty is just a way to keep her occupied so that she can do whatever she wants.
Tim comes in and reminds everyone that they will only have a day to complete the challenge. He tells them that the winner of the design will join the person wearing their dress to the Emmys! Well, that's a big deal. Kooan is really out of his element. Without what appears to be any bullying from Gunnar, he just sort of gives over the design to him because he just doesn't know what he's doing in this arena.
Alicia has never made a gown. Neither has Raul. Also, they're working red and Raul says that he doesn't like red. Ven is just a freaking sourpuss. He says that Fabio is slowing them down because he doesn't know basic things about construction. Ven should relax. Melissa and Dmitry really are struggling with the silk charmeuse.
Tim comes in and the clients join him for the critiques. Wow, Gunnar really hates Irina. In all fairness, she does always look she has smelled something bad. He says he doesn't know if she's being critical or stupid. Heh. Dmitry and Melissa tell April about the fabric struggles and she is sympathetic. She loves the silver color, because it really lets her hair do the heavy lifting for the look. Nobody is excited about the print that Alicia and Raul chose. Mila thinks that it might be too casual and Tim says that she'll look like she just came from a pool party. Raul is really weird about making changes. He's actually a little rude.
Kenley is thrilled and so supportive of Ven and Fabio. Valerie seems happy with the direction in which Sonjia and Nathan are headed. Anya makes some suggestions for how the look that she'll be wearing should change and Christopher immediately shuts down. It's very odd and I can't figure it out. She wants a high neck so that most of the skin showing will be her back and he's just like, no fabric. And, Andrea has to find some from the garbage to try to make Anya happy. I'm just not really sure what's happening with him right now. It feels like game-playing wheels are at work right now. This is just a hunch, and I've really kind of liked Christopher up to this point, but I feel like so histrionically displaying your resistance to something your teammate is attempting is a way of pre-arguing why you weren't responsible for the problems with your gown. And, it seems fairly clear that if they were to go in the exact direction that they are currently headed, they would still have problems. So, finding a solution is just as much his problem. I'm mostly confused by his confusion.
Buffi and Elena meet with Tim and Laura and they explain that they underestimated the time that it would take to pleat the skirt. Laura giggles a little because that's such a common problem on this show. They suggest changing course and Elena gets tight. Buffi asks her to breathe. Elena says that she's getting really scared. Jesus, she's a total freak. She tells Buffi to not tell her to calm down. Then, she like disappears. Eventually, after smoking cigarettes, she shows up in the sewing room. Christopher compares her to a ravenous animal. Elena says that you have to hustle in the Ukraine, where she's from, to survive. She returns to the workroom just in time to tell Buffi that there's no time for her to grab a bite to eat.
The clients come in for a fitting. Sonjia thinks that Ven's dress is way too simple. Andrea is apparently going really slowly with one portion of their dress and he's bitching about it to a lot of people. Alicia and Raul feel like they're screwed with the new direction of the look. They're done for the day and Christopher's still bitching when they get home. He thinks that either he or Andrea will be going home the day.
The day, the designers try to get a little work in before the clients come in. Andrea is again moving at a snail's pace and Christopher is flummoxed. The clients come in and Kenley loves hers. Laura seems indifferent. Dmitry says to Melissa that he thinks that Gunnar and Kooan may be in trouble because their dress looks like a wedding gown. Andrea fucks up something with the skirt and is like just sort of "uh oh!", which makes Christopher furious. I don't know. I mean, clearly Andrea is a little hippie dippy, but what she's doing might also be a tactic to keep herself calm. It's not like she's going to work better if she's raging all around the room freaking out. Whatever. I'm just rubbed the wrong way by that whole scene.
On the runway, Heidi greets the designers and introduces the judges, including Krysten Ritter from that show with Dawson as well as Breaking Bad. She looks excited to be there too. And, it's time for the show to begin. Here's Laura! And, this doesn't look bad at all. She's wearing pink with a transparent black overlay. It's floor-length with an empire waist. Maybe it's a little too young for Laura, but she's selling it. They simplified the pleating idea and that's where maybe it looks a little messy. It's honestly pretty chic and whimsical at the same time. It has Elena's armor-like shoulders but with a cap sleeve, so it just looks cute and not so severe. Buffi and Elena seem relieved and like they managed to pull it off. Of course, Elena has to say that Buffi was not at the same skill level as her.
is Anya. The dress is brown and floor-length with a studded belt at the waist and a slit from her Turks to her Caicos. The back has a large cut-out and Anya is a knockout and could frankly wear just about anything and I would say it looks great. The slit though. It's a little unbecoming for a lady. Christopher is aware of its flaws but feels like maybe they didn't do as poorly as he felt they were. He knows they're gonna get shit for the slit though. Andrea doesn't say a word.
Here's Kenley. It's 100% adorable. Cinched waist with a crinolined skirt and a boatneck. It even has Ven's fancy sculptural stuff on the bodice. I mean, there's not much else to say. It's perfect and girl is working it. Who'd have thought that Kenley could make such a turnaround. Right? She was such a monster during her season. I totally dig her now. I mean, she's loud and is clearly going to become demented and batshit crazy the minute she hits like 34, but she's really accessed a lot of sweet charm and I think that it really suits her and I hope it makes her happy.
April is and this dress is completely rad. So, it's silver and kind of has a backwards kimono cut. It's draped beautifully but also seems to have a real structure to it. I'm not sure how they did it. A lot of her back is exposed too and she looks really sexy. Both Melissa and Dmitry are super happy with the results, as well they should be. I think this is further proof that, the pure skill of Ven aside, Melissa is kind of the one to beat.
Oh my. Here's Mila. First of all, she's wearing a fake ponytail. That was a mistake. It's a black halter dress with some red piping and a red leather belt. It's really poor-fitting and I feel really bad for Mila right now. I mean, what what what were they thinking? And, Jesus, you get onto Project Runway and you've never made a gown and you don't think to yourself, "You know, I've got a free afternoon, why don't I try to imagine what I would do if I had to make a gown. Because, if I survive even a challenge or two on this show, chances are I'm going to have to produce a gown"? Neither of these fools thought to do that. And, Raul keeps TELLING people that he's never made a gown. That just seems like a really bad idea to me. Anyway, he's aware that this is a bloody disaster. Alicia knows that it's not a hit.
Here's Irina. The dress she's wearing is white and fitted with a white cape in the back. They've fitted it with a silver necklace that actually really helps it. It's not terribly fashion-forward but it looks well made. Gunnar thinks that it doesn't look bad and feels that they might be safe. Kooan hates it. He doesn't say quite why but he's not a fan. I think that he threatens the dress in his interview. Like, something bad's going to happen to the dress.
And here's Valerie. You knowwwww, this isn't baaadd, buttt.... It's a gold gown with cap sleeves and a fairly low-cut neckline. It's just that, oh, I don't know. It just makes Valerie look like she has no waist and emphasizes that she doesn't have boobs. Maybe the Lord & Taylor wall had some foundation garments that could have been utilized? It feels shitty to say that because I think Valerie is super cute, but it's like they made this dress for Beyonce and Valerie's wearing it. They knew who they were making the dress for. So, I kind of feel like that's a real flaw. Sonjia and Nathan both feel really happy with it.
Afterwards, Heidi calls Nathan, Sonjia, Buffi, Elena, Melissa and Dmitry. They're safe. Christopher immediately covers his face with his hand. Those guys go backstage and Melissa and Sonjia feel that they were both meant to be in the top. Elena interviews that she would have been in the top except for being paired with someone with subpar skills. Yeah, yeah.
On the runway, Heidi says that Ven and Fabio and Gunnar and Kooan have the high scores. The losers go backstage while the high scores get critiqued. Andrea tries to make light of things but Christopher is not having it. I mean, at this point, I guess I see both of their sides. Andrea makes a remark about it being meant to be if she gets eliminated at this point and the others kind of jump on her because they gave up so much to be there. Hmm. I don't think she's really saying that the experience doesn't mean a lot to her.
Back on the runway, Kenley says that she loves her dress. Nina loves the length, but Krysten disagrees. Michael says that the dress wouldn't necessarily get raves, but it has a lot of style. Heidi asks who would be the winner of the two of them. Fabio says that he is choosing himself because he wants to give himself a pat on the back. Ven obviously chooses himself.
Kooan says that elegance is not his strong point so he had to listen to Gunnar a lot. Irina says that she likes it but it wasn't sewn that well. What a bitch. Heidi says that she feels like it's eye-catching. Michael loves the silhouette and they really understood their client. It looks like Irina doesn't want them to get compliments. Kooan says that Gunnar should win because he wouldn't even be able to conceive of a design like this.
It's loser time. Raul admits that they didn't execute Mila's gown that well. Mila says that there are some fit issues and she wishes they'd chosen a tailored fabric, since that's their backgrounds. So, they could have done that? Weird. Raul is really defensive about it. Also, he chose the hair extension. Nina says that the dress makes her look frumpy and they didn't make an effort. Raul says that he and Alicia both accept responsibility, but Alicia eventually says that Raul started with the sketching.
Christopher is such a drama queen. He says that it took the entire time for them to cut the pattern, so it was executed very poorly. Heidi says she can see the hooks on the back. Anya says that she feels like maybe they were just too ambitious. Nina says that it looks very dated. Krysten says it looks like a Halloween costume that you could get at a drug store. Then... Christopher says that it took Andrea 12 hours to cut the skirt. I mean, he's really going overboard. He says that Andrea said that she didn't care if she went home, which is a lie.
She says that what she meant was that she has had a great experience. I got that too. She goes further and says that Christopher screwed up the bodice, at which point bitch clutches his pearls and says that he just has too much respect to say what he really wants to say. DIDN'T HE JUST DO THAT? She's equalizing things and I thinks that's fair. She says that she owns her mistakes. Christopher says that he doesn't point fingers and Andrea points out that he is actually doing just that. He's a big baby. He starts crying and says that he's so upset. Heidi says that she could tell he was before they even began. Andrea says that she finds all of this demeaning and I kind of agree with her. Krysten looks mortified.
The judges confer. They love Irina's silhouette, but they weren't crazy about the fabric. Heidi says that Ven has a real stamp on all of his designs. Nina thinks that it looks expensive. They point out that they don't really know Fabio's point of view yet. They thought that Anya's dress was not sophisticated. Krysten questions Raul's taste, but Nina wonders why Alicia didn't change their course.
The designers return to the stage. Ven is OUT. Kidding. He wins the challenge. He says it's a dream come true. You know he has always wanted to go to the Emmys. Kenley hugs him backstage and it's really cute. Fabio is in. So are Gunnar and Kooan. Christopher is in. Andrea pats him on the back as he leaves the stage. Andrea is in. For some reason, Heidi watches her walk away. Alicia is... in. She hugs Raul and leaves the stage. Elena gives her a big hug. Raul tells the judges that this is not the last we'll hear of Raul. He interviews that maybe they both should have gone home. He tells that he hates the red carpet and he's out.
Um, so the morning, Andrea is missing. She's NOT THERE.
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong.