Josh is in Full Bitch from the first effing frames of this freaking episode, bitching about how Anya's not showing the "best of the best." I will point out SO MANY THINGS come recap time. Anya's feeling a lot of pressure to progress. And, it's the final challenge! The designers meet Tim on Governors Island to find out about the challenge. On the ferry over, Josh had a moment to congratulate himself for making it to the top five and I'm not even kidding. So, Tim greets them and introduces them to some people who talk about how Governors Island is an artist's playground. Kimberly is the tallest remaining designer, FYI. Then, he tells them that they have to create three looks that exhibit range. They can use anything on the island for inspiration. They get golf carts, which is fun.
Anya seems incredibly focused at Mood, while Laura overspends like a crazy person. At the workroom, Tim enters with the button bag. Then, he brings in the last five eliminated designers. The designers who are chosen from the bag get to choose an assistant from the eliminated bunch. Kimberly goes first and she chooses Becky. Viktor chooses Olivier, who apparently doesn't even like Viktor that much. Laura chooses Anthony. So, Anya and Josh are standing to each other and she jokes that he shouldn't fight with her and he says that she's getting "very aggressive" which is that loudmouth's favorite thing to say about someone. Heaving flames. Side of my face. Anya chooses Bert, which leaves Josh with Bryce.
While they're working, Josh starts talking smack about Anya and she overhears enough to find it really testy and uncomfy. Tim tries to talk Laura out of using this big circular pattern on all three of her looks. Kimberly keeps changing her mind about what she wants to do, which makes Becky accurately question whether she has much vision. Viktor starts ragging on Anya's sewing skills too. Bleh.
The day of the challenge, Laura decides to cut a skirt in the last minute. Both Viktor and Josh think that the both of them will be going to Fashion Week. I guess that's not so crazy a thought. Anthony seems to be the blame for a botched fit on one of Laura's outfits.
The guest judge is Zoe Saldana and she gets to enter the runway just like Heidi. Josh's looks are OK. Kimberly's are a mixed bag. Some of it is cool, some of it is a little tacky. Laura is so literal! That inspiration! Her ideas are OK though. I fucking love Anya's stuff and I don't care how I sound like a broken record. Viktor's silhouettes are fantastic, though maybe there's a small problem with some of his fabric choices.
The judges essentially tell Josh that his stuff looks cheap. Heidi thinks that Kimberly's looks belong on different girls and Kimberly gets oddly defensive and seems to almost be giving up. Laura gets criticized for choking on some of her looks. Anya gets praise, though Zoe says that her gown resembled a condom. Heidi says that Viktor is a great at construction, but she doesn't see many ideas. Nina would like more volume too. Michael thinks that Viktor's clothes would sell.
The designers are asked to choose who they think should go to Fashion Week with them. Josh chooses Viktor and Anya. Kimberly chooses Anya and Laura. Anya chooses Viktor and Josh. Laura cries and chooses Viktor and Anya. Viktor chooses Josh and Anya. The designers return. Anya is in! Viktor is in! Josh is in. Boo. It's down to Laura and Kimberly. Laura is... out. Wow! The rest are going to Fashion Week!
Previously: The designers had to design couture looks inspired by birds. Bert was not into it and totally bombed. Anya didn't loan Josh any fabric and he got pissed. He got further pissed when she won the challenge...and 20 grand. It looked like Kimberly was failing, but she really pulled it out.
It's morning at the Atlas Building and Josh is telling Viktor over coffee that it's sad to see Bert gone. That's interesting. He says that it just took time for them to understand who he was. I have a great tip for you. Seriously, this is a good one. Take it to the bank. Here it goes: Be nice to people. Whether you understand them or not. You don't happen to have the patent on understanding people worth being understood, so unless someone's out there shooting grandmas or defacing posters of Ryan Gosling, you should just go ahead and assume that there are human, worthwhile qualities in them whether or not you UNDERSTAND them or not. You stupid bitch. Viktor says that Bert could have stayed longer than Kimberly, which... maybe that's true in some sense. These guys really don't have much respect for design though. This is a design competition. You have to have the facility to manifest your designs, so you need to be a good sewer. But, it's not a sewing competition. Right? That would be a total bore.
Josh says that now that they're supposed to be the best of the best, they should be showing the best of the best tailoring, pressing and construction. All things aren't equal though. He says that all of Anya's pieces are flowing and he doesn't even know if she can make a jacket or not. BUT, her design skills are so beyond anything he can even think up. It's like you can see her actual touch in the clothing, to it's most minute detail. That's style. I do not care if that girl doesn't sew as well as him. You could put her in a room with parchment paper and a can opener and she would make something better than those horrible '70s pants Josh made a few weeks ago. Because she has style. I don't know why I need to scream this so much, but I just find it irritating that they're acting like her success is some sort of aberration brought on by her prettiness. Now, she's going to be able to sell the hell out of her stuff because she happens to also be incredibly beautiful and disarming and my number one or two choice for world domination -- but that's not what her winning is about. Her clothes are amazing. Josh interviews that his sewing is impeccable and he thinks that will give him a leg up. He asks how someone can make it this far in a design competition without doing "anything of that nature." Jackets? Construction, tailoring and pressing? I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think he is either so that's OK.
The girls are putting on their make-up and Kimberly asks Anya how it feels to have another win, then puts a fake microphone in her face. Anya interviews that she has done very well in the last couple of challenges and feels a lot of pressure to keep being progressive. At Parsons, Heidi, still looking so freaking gorgeous, takes to the runway and asks the designers how it feels to be in the final five. They're thrilled. Heidi says that this is the final challenge. Anya has goosebumps. For the final challenge, the designers are taking a ferry to meet Tim at Governors Island. He'll fill them in on the challenge once they are there. Or, they will be jailed. I don't know. I'm just spitballin'.
On the ferry, they all enjoy the view. Anya interviews that going to Fashion Week would be the ultimate moment in her life as a designer. Josh takes the moment on the ferry to congratulate himself for making it to the top five. Well, of course he did. He's been so busy congratulating himself for other things, it was time for the top five moment to get some notice. Once off the ferry, Viktor cracks that he wants to speak to the Governor immediately. Kimberly says that she has no idea what awaits them on the island. This is the perfect beginning for a zombie movie. Y'all, Kimberly is the tallest! She's really gorgeous. Tim greets them and introduces them to a lady who is in charge of the trust for Governors Island and a guy who is part of the arts council. The lady says that the Island has really become a playground for artists (and zombies). Tim points out that there is a sculpture display that is really beautiful. Tim says that they will be creating three looks that must display range inside of the collection. They will collect inspiration from the art on the premises. They get golf carts to look around! Fun! Kimberly picks out this sculpture named New Beginning. Josh chooses stained glass from a church. Laura focuses on some circular shapes. Viktor's looking at silhouettes with the City in the background. Anya is inspired by all of the sculptures. She likes the lines and negative/positive space aspects of the scultpure. She vows to not use prints, because she doesn't want the judges to think that her last win was a fluke. Girl is smart! They return from their search, and tell Tim that they feel inspired.
At Mood, Kim looks for a cantaloupe-colored wool, but can't find it. So, she has to make changes. That's so specific, what she was looking for. Laura gets a lot of circle stuff. She tells us that she spends a lot of money. Anya gets a range of black, white and rust-colored fabrics -- though she doesn't know what she's doing with them. Laura spends nearly 700 bucks, though the budget is only 500. Gotta make some changes!
At the workroom, everybody gets started. Kimberly doesn't like the wool she chose, for it is a little bright. Tim enters with the button bag, to everyone's dismay. He says that they would benefit from some help, so the last five eliminated designers enter! Josh interviews that it's a relief to get help. The returning designers, except maybe Bert, don't look that happy. Kimberly's button is chosen first and she chooses Becky, who is glad because she says she wouldn't want to work with anyone else. Viktor is and he gets Olivier, who interviews that he didn't like Viktor in the beginning but does now. He's so strange. But that beautiful hair. It's made of shredded wood nymphs. Laura is and chooses Anthony. She was shocked that she got to choose him. It's down to Anya and Josh. She bumps him lightly with her hip and says, sweetly, "Don't fight with me." He's like hand-splayed, "What?" Then, he says his favorite thing, that she's getting aggressive. She tells him that it's just a joke. Poor Anya. Her only weakness is that she's not used to people not liking her. Come on. Josh can't be any match for Miss Paraguay. Anya gets to choose and she chooses Bert who shouts, "Hallelujah!" He hugs her and says he's so happy to be working with her. Anya interviews that she couldn't stand Bert to begin with but has really come to enjoy spending time with him. That means Josh and Bryce are working together. Bryce interviews that he loves Josh, but he's intense and a control freak.
They all get started and Anthony says that he's excited to be back in the workroom, though he mentions that it's Laura's butt that's on the line. Viktor and Olivier have an odd way of communicating. Laura is asking for advice from Anthony, while Anya points out to Bert the circles in her design and says that she wants to make sure to not be so literal. Bryce thinks that Josh overdesigns and tries to help him edit. He notices that Laura is doing a cut-out theme and Josh says that she has nothing on him, which leads to Bryce interviewing that the final five doesn't seem to speak to each other. He notices a lot of tension in the room. Josh does seem to edit a little bit with Bryce's help. He's such a douche though. Bert thinks that Anya is lovely and the most talented of the remaining designers. Laura is thinking a lot about the judges, which I hope doesn't trap her. Olivier is judging a lot of what Viktor is doing and Viktor tells him to just stick to his design, which makes Olivier bitch in an interview that he's a slave. Unpaid. Aren't they paid for this? I don't think you get paid for competition shows, but they're not competing anymore. Details.
Josh is bitching to Bryce about how Anya has floated by in the competition. Anya picks up on it and whispers to Laura that he is acting very strange. She interviews that a competitiveness has entered the room and she doesn't like it. Josh says to Bryce that he just had twenty grand stolen from him by a beauty queen. Rude! Bryce says though that Josh is jealous every time he loses a challenge.
Viktor and Olivier are moving along quickly. Kimberly, meanwhile, is making lots of changes. Bert tries to help Anya sketch more accurately, but she seems to be aware of her limitations. They're getting along fine though. Laura is still floundering. She tries to dye some charmeuse. Josh is using plastic in his design and Kimberly interviews that she wants him to throw that plastic all over his design because that increases her chances of winning. Ha!
Tim comes in for consultations and questions Laura's circular fabric and using it in all three of her looks. Viktor thinks that the fabric is going to dominate her looks and obscure the silhouettes. Kimberly describes her designs, but Tim feels that her fabrics don't work together. Tim thinks that Viktor's work is organic and sophisticated. Josh says that he's working with soft and hard. Anya doesn't like his fabrics. Tim is intrigued by the plastic. Josh is still annoyed that Anya isn't making a jacket. Whatever. Tim likes it. He tells those bitches to make it work, then he's out.
The models come in for a fitting. Josh tells his model that he's editing, but Bert interviews that it's not sophisticated at all. Poor Kimberly -- the ass of her pants don't work. Becky is worried that Kimberly is not clear in her vision. Bert thinks that Anya is on the right track. I love him like this! Josh is STILL bitching to Bryce about Anya's lack of separates, etc. Bryce tells him to just focus. Viktor wonders who is going to sew Anya's work if she makes it to Fashion Week. He says he hasn't even seen her make a sleeve.
Meanwhile, Anthony thinks that Laura is losing her mind. She does seem a bit frazzled. She interviews that going to Fashion Week has been a dream of her since she was 13-years old. Then, she gets emotional and it looks like she doesn't like it. The mannequins are like, "Watching someone try not to cry is the easiest way to make me cry. Well, a headless, tear-ductless cry." She says that being so close makes her emotions take over.
It's the day of the show! Kimberly says that she's scrapping her pants and making a skirt. Becky seems surprised in a passive-aggressive way. Kim interviews with a laugh that she has a lot of work to get done. Even though this is high pressure, she's acting a lot cooler than she did during the last challenge. Anya says that she's pushing herself really hard. Bert says that he's having to fix the Boss Lady's mistakes. Tim comes in and presents the models. Viktor has an easy time getting his stuff together. He interviews that he and Josh should go to Fashion Week. The girls can fight it out for the third spot. Laura cuts a skirt in the last moments. Bryce jokes to Becky that Josh said something about having a "studying process." Josh and his words.
Hair and make-up happens and I'm still hot for this make-up dude. Laura thinks that Kim's designs look like goiters on the legs. Josh doesn't think that Anya's work has promise. He too thinks that he and Viktor will go to Fashion Week. Bert makes a joke that one of Josh's looks resembles a majorette, which is the best thing I've thought about his work all season. Kimberly, who is an excellent judge of her work, notices some imperfections. It seems like Laura is a little pissed at some of the fitting that Anthony did. Anya has a hard time getting her dress on her model. It takes a lot of situating. Tim thinks that it will need instructions if made commercially.
On the runway, Heidi greets everyone. She introduces the judges, including the lovely Zoe Saldana, who enters via the runway. I wonder if that was a stipulation from her publicist. Well, she looks fantastic.
The show begins with Josh's looks. First is a short white dress, with black netting at the neck. There's a cut-out on the back and it's really cute. is the majorette with a little vest. Josh knows it too, but the thing is too big. It makes the girl look big. He says, "Fake it 'til you make it," which I think is the total theme for his behavior this season. The guy is reasonably talented, but makes you second guess him because he has such a need to work defensively. It makes you wonder what's missing in him as a designer. Anyway, his third look is this silver gown over a tank. There's a plastic belt on one side of the gown and the other side drapes off of the shoulder revealing the tank. That plastic belt is busted. I hate it. The draping is really nice though. Josh loves it. The looks are diverse yet cohesive.
Kim is and she starts with a long orange jacket with a scarf on top of it, which is how she wears her own scarf. It's a nice look, though the orange might be a bit too bold and I always feel like outerwear in bright colors gets dingy too easily. Her look is a sleeveless range top with a teardrop-shaped cut-out on the bosom. Very sexy. It's paired with an asymmetrical skirt that's bunched on one side, the goiter of which Laura spoke. I think this is a cute look. Not my bag, but it doesn't NOT work. Lastly, she has a cocktail dress in silver that has a lot of bunching. It's equal parts draping and construction, which I think is cool.
Here we have Laura's collection. First is a blazer and skirt, with that circular stuff on the jacket. is a babydoll-looking cocktail dress. Last is an evening gown with the black and white lattice-work. It's not horrible, but liking it is a rigorous process.
Here's Anya's stuff. First is a black dress that's like a handkerchief but hangs with more weight. It's so sexy and chic. The back has a low v-shape. is a rust-colored top and slacks. All flowing. Lastly is a white gown that's super modern in construction and I think spectacular.
Now there's Viktor's stuff. His color palette is all black, gray and white prints. He made a jacket with a ruffled lapel and top and slacks. It fits amazingly. is a shirt and skirt that has circular pleats around one hip. It's not bad, but Viktor thinks it could be sharper. Last we have a strapless black cocktail dress. There's boning at the hips that gives an interesting silhouette.
After the show, it's judging time. Josh says the mix of church and the nearby battery was his inspiration. Michael thinks he showed a lot of diversity -- almost too much. He still thinks that editing was a problem. Zoe liked his short white dress, but she hated the gown. Heidi liked the gown, but not the fabric. She wonders if he used plastic because it was shiny. "Is that an assumption?" he shoots back. It's a fucking question, you moron. He says that he likes the texture. Michael says that shiny can look cheap quickly.
Kimberly said that she was inspired by the sculptures. Zoe loves Kimberly's styling. Michael likes the cocktail dress but not the coat. Heidi thinks that she designed for three different girls. Nina thinks that the skirt of the look with the top is overworked and Kimberly says that if she'd left it alone they would have found it underworked. Kimberly just says that has had a great experience -- it sounds like she's quitting. She gets a bit defensive but I think she pulls it back. She just says that she's aware of the tailoring problems.
Heidi thinks that Laura seems nervous. She says she is and she cries again about showing at Fashion Week. Poor thing. Heidi likes the gown, but she's not really buying the other two looks. They all hate the babydoll dress. Zoe likes the '80s styling of the girls. She thinks the babydoll dress looks like a pillowcase. Michael thinks it's a shame that she choked now.
Anya talks about angles and how the looks appear different from different angles. Nina thinks they're very modern. It feels like a concise collection to her. Heidi loves the black dress. Michael thinks it's sophisticated and that Anya is pushing herself. He loves that she dressed each of her models in the right way. She knows women's bodies. Zoe thinks the gown looks like a condom, but it's her favorite. Work!
Heidi is amazed at what Viktor can do with his sewing, but she thinks he lacks in ideas. Nina loves it though. She thinks he could turn up the volume a little bit. Zoe loves the draping on the skirt, but didn't like the boning in the cocktail dress. Michael thinks that Viktor's collection is the most commercial, which some people think is a dirty word. He agrees that he needs a little more runway punch.
Heidi asks the designers why they should go to Fashion Week and who should come with them. Everyone says that they are awesome. Josh says that Viktor and Anya should come with him, but he manages to get in a jab about how Anya is new to sewing. Kimberly wants to change fashion. She thinks that Anya and Laura should come with her. She thinks they would show a different Fashion Week. Anya says that her point-of-view is solid, even though everyone is talking about how she has grown. She gets a touch choked up and laughs it off and says that this means a tremendous amount to her. She says that Josh, despite his editing problems, should come with her. As well, she thinks that Viktor's work would have an audience. Laura cries again and says that her drive and passion would make a great show. She chooses Viktor and Anya to come with her. Viktor says that he's an immigrant. He would take Josh and -- just based on design -- Anya. It's almost people took choosing people as a chance to slam people.
The judges confer. They loved Anya's black dress. Nina thinks that she has great taste. They think that Viktor's work has evolved and has become increasingly commercial. Heidi didn't like Josh's fabrics. Michael thinks that it would be great with editing and Nina agrees. She thinks his taste is questionable. Better to have too many ideas though. Nina and Michael did not like Laura's gown. Heidi loves her passion though. Zoe thinks that Kimberly tried to do something different. They review Kimberly's work over the season. They wonder why she didn't make more pants. Michael thinks she has glamour. Will they choose four or three designers for the finals?
The designers return to the stage. Only three will compete at Fashion Week. Anya is the first in! Poo poo face from Josh. She interviews that she has to remind herself to breathe. Heidi says they liked Viktor, but he needs to pump up the volume. He's in! Heidi says that they appreciated Josh's attempts at editing, but he needs to work more. He interviews, and I am not lying, that this is the beginning of his history. His legacy. Someday, someone will be able to research this moment for him. I don't even know what to say. I mean, I guess we all have to walk around like we're the most important person in the world or we'll just jump in front of a bus or something. I don't know. But, Jesus, shut the fuck up about it. Anya hugs him backstage.
It's down to Laura and Kimberly and apparently one of them is coming to Fashion Week? Laura is... out. Poor thing. Kimberly will be designing and returning to NY. I'm not sure what that means exactly. She goes backstage and really breaks down. She says that she has always had a dream that was bigger than herself. Heidi tells Laura that she's a great designer and a great person. She interviews that she saw herself in the top three. Tim comes in and says that he hopes she's proud of herself. He sends her to the workroom and she thanks him for everything. She says that she feels grateful for the experience. She thinks she's a stronger designer now.
Tim leads the final four in a group hug and kiss!
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong.