By Jeff Long
Tim begins the show telling the designers that he doesn’t have the adequate words to describe how proud he is of them, but I’m not sure I believe him. Maybe he’s just not trying hard enough. Heidi tells them that they will have nine grand and five weeks to complete their collections. THEN, she tells them that only three of them will actually be competing for the big prize. Somebody’s going to be eliminated after creating a collection.
Tim does his famous home visits, beginning with Christopher in Long Island. He lives with his parents and works in the basement, near the corner china cabinet. I’ve never seen Tim so positive about someone’s work before the big day. He loves everything, though I’m not sure the judges will be as wild about his back X-ray turned print. He actually just turns a picture of an X-ray into a print. I’m not sure Nina’s going to be into that. We meet Christopher’s sisters (adorable) along with his boyfriend, Ryan.
, Tim goes all the way to Manhattan, where Fabio is working. Jason, Fabio’s boyfriend, is there. His Brazilian mom is also there and she seems great too. Fabio is dreaming hard about this and it’s kinda beautiful. Tim likes his work in the beginning, which Fabio describes as Cosmic Tribalism, but it goes downhill. Tim is bothered by a lot of little details, though he stresses that Fabio’s currently collection has a lot of potential to impress. Poor Fabio is beside himself.
Then, Tim crosses the... Hudson River to see Dmitry in Jersey City. He shows him his collection and it doesn’t seem like Tim is really that excited by it. Dmitry asks him if he likes the color selection that he made for the collection and Tim just says no. Tim also wonders if there are enough surprises in the collection. Dmitry tells us that he wants to be successful so that he can give back to his family who let him explore his creativity always.
On to Melissa’s place in San Francisco. It looks like she gained a lot of confidence at home. Her collection is out of this world and Tim really responds to it. He notices her confidence. Then, she takes him on a boat ride with her boyfriend Nick and her parents. Nick seems like a cool cat. He doesn’t say a word. Her parents are absolutely adorable.
Back in New York, at Yotel, the designers stay in a swank suite. They all seem so happy to see each other, which is so fun! Could this be the most generous (towards each other) group of designers in the history of the show? Melissa starts feeling some self-doubt as soon as they see each other’s collections. Tim comes in and tells them that they will be presenting their three top looks to the judges the day.
Jesus, they all become terrified. On the runway, Dmitry’s looks are bananas. Christopher’s print looks a lot better on the runway. Fabio’s stuff is super cool and toes the line between polished and chill. Melissa’s stuff all looks really cool and nicely made, though we have seen a lot of it before. Afterwards, the judges were generally complimentary to Fabio, though they felt it should be more luxurious. Nina could see that Dmitry worked very hard on his collection, but she’s not wild about the styling. Michael doesn’t think that it’s cool enough. They felt that Christopher’s volume was not nearly enough. Heidi uses the word "boring." They’re torn on the print. They also wanted more from Melissa. Michael said that the wigs she used were hideous. Nina isn’t thrilled that most of her collection is black and white.
In the end, they are all going to Fashion Week. BUT, they have 2 days to reorganize and restyle their collections. Before the big show!
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Previously: It was the avant-garde challenge! Nothing too crazy this time around. It suddenly became a plot point that Sonjia was not living up to her potential as a designer, seeing as she had won multiple challenges and all. Dmitry won the challenge, while newly anointed slacker Sonjia was sent home.
So, this takes place some time after the last runway show. It seems like they could have done it immediately after the last elimination, but everyone is wearing different clothes. Which still could have been planned. Apparently, I really need to get to the bottom of this. Anyway, all of the designers are sitting by the runway, wearing clothes that are different from the duds they donned for the elimination. Heidi enters, also wearing a new outfit. Who do we trust? I'm going to stop talking about this now. But, I feel it's my duty to make sure everyone has seen The Real Dragwives from TWoP alumnus DJB. It's hysterical and you should see it and the possibilities for future reenactments are endless. If I were to cast the people on the screen with some of the queens, I'd go with Raja as Heidi, Manila Luzon as Christopher (and the boys would have to be done in a boys-as-girls-as-boys fashion), Raven as Dmitry, Pandora Boxx as Melissa and Rebecca Glasscock as Fabio.
Heidi congratulates the designers and asks them how they feel. All but Fabio say "amazing" or something happy like that, while Fabio is "nervous." Heidi says that he should be nervous and he hangs his head and giggles and says, "I know." Wow. Guys. I love him so much. He interviews that he's dying inside because he wants this so much. Then, Heidi calls Tim to the stage. Fabio says "aw" as Tim comes out and tells the designers that he doesn't even have adequate words to describe how proud he is of them. Well, he could at least try. Heidi says that the designers will all be given nine grand and five weeks to complete their collections.
Then, she says that they are not all guaranteed a place in the Final Three. Well, obviously, because of the differences between four people and what "three" means. But, why is there a Final Three? What's the point? I wonder if more people showed at Fashion Week this year as decoys. Maybe she's saying this because they are all going to be showing, but they may knock someone out of the running if their collection isn't strong enough? Everyone groans at the news. Christopher says that he would be devastated for anyone who would have to leave the competition at this point. Tim says that he will be visiting all of them at their homes and Heidi jokes that they'll need to clean up. Tim and Heidi leave the stage and we see their silhouettes give each other a little peck behind the scrim. Sure.
Ten weeks later, Tim Gunn puts on his traveling shoes and heads first to Huntington, NY, which is apparently considered a suburb of New York City. Carol Hannah, he says, has moved there to complete her collection and be near New York. The thing is, she's moved into a HUGE house! I love it. Way to go big, CH. Apparently, this home belongs to a friend, and it is quite crazily spacious. She greets Tim at the door where he has arrived after having driven through what appears to have been a blizzard. The whole yard is covered in thick snow.
Carol Hannah says she felt like she could be more productive in NY than in Charleston, and takes Tim upstairs to a huge room where her collection is laid out. She explains that her inspiration for the whole thing came from a visit to none other than Duke University, where her friend works and gave her a late-night tour of the campus. That seems kind of random, but cool -- it is a gorgeous place, especially at night. The chapel will blow your mind. The architecture and the ethereal light made her visit "kind of whimsical and fairy tale," she says, and this inspired her to create, for one, a silvery-lavender satin, tiered poof dress that, believe me, is cuter than it sounds. It is not, however, in need of a spangled belt, which she had planned to include. "Can I be blunt with you?" Tim asks. "I'm not in favor of it." He says the dress will lose its sophistication by adding the belt -- he's right, it looks like something my mom would buy from Chico's -- and CH agrees. "You know me," she laughs. "I like to add things." Tim says he knows she does, but she must refrain. She's also made what looks like a stunning deep purple evening gown, and covered it with an old lady cape. "You've aged her 30 years!" Tim says, aghast, and it's so true. Less is more, CH.
Carol Hannah feels like she has pushed the envelope a bit with this collection, and Tim agrees. "I have made PANTS," she announces to his surprise, and mine. I can get down with that, though tragically she has also made a pair of formal shorts, clearly never having read the extensively detailed and sage wisdom on such garments provided, for free, for the benefit of all, by the Fug Girls. Shorts or not, most of her pieces, even the casual ones, she says, have "a little bit of evening flair."
She acknowledges that she has a lot of work left to do. "It's going to be..." she says, pausing, looking for just the right word, "tough." Hee. Yes, well, I guess that about covers it. She "surprises" Tim by telling him that her family has flown in to meet him and that they will be cooking him a traditional Southern meal. "Oh, that's great!" he says, and I believe him, though I cannot imagine Tim Gunn enjoying fatback in any scenario. However, he is a man whose manners are as impeccable as his hair, and I salute him for it. Even when he is charged with lending a hand in the kitchen, he is thrilled. "I love a kitchen!" he says, and heads downstairs to don an apron OVER HIS SUIT. I die, seriously. He does not even take his jacket off or roll up his sleeves. Love. What an absolutely loveable man. He rolls dough and cuts biscuits with the best of them. "If they bomb, it's going to be your fault," CH's mom says. I don't know if y'all have ever made biscuits, but it can be fraught, let me tell you. There is a touch that is required, and getting it wrong is grounds for a telling-off in some households (mine). I had to give up eating gluten this year, and the only thing that really gets to me is the biscuits. I can forgo cupcakes, bread, crackers, BEER (sob!), but when I am visiting my mother and she makes biscuits for breakfast, I have to leave the house.
Carol Hannah's mom says that watching her go on this journey has been really interesting. Her own mother, she says, was a great seamstress. "I used to watch her," Carol Hannah says, "and then I would make little doll clothes and she would tell me how." She says that's how she learned construction, by making the tiny dresses. "Well," Tim says, lining biscuits in perfectly straight rows, "it's the same principle."
We delve further into CH's past. She says she was a really awkward kid with "long, monkey arms, braces and big, ugly glasses." The photos they show of her as a child bear this out, though frankly, she was as cute then as she is now. Kids in glasses = cute, no matter what. She adds that she gained a lot of confidence making things for herself and other people. "The thing I love about fashion is that it changes the way you see yourself, and the way that other people see you," she says. "And, I looove it." I think CH is pretty great, I have to say. I would be happy if she won, or if Althea won. I would also be happy if either or both of them had a makeup consultation with a trained professional, because both of them wear a ridiculous amount of it in inappropriate shades.
At dinner, Carol Hannah's dad sweetly says that she has always been very determined to go out and do the things she wants to do. "I love her," he says. CH has tears in her eyes. "Thanks, Daddy," she says and look, maybe I have tears in my eyes, too. What's wrong with me? I'm really asking.
She says that she's not a fashion school graduate (though I thought she went, at some point, right?), and that she's self-taught. "Sometimes, it's a little intimidating to think about the fact that everyone else has been formally trained," she says, but she thinks that because she's had to learn everything herself, she's learned a lot more in the process. She walks arm in arm with Tim Gunn out into the snow, striking a perfect Love Story pose. "Love you!" he says, kissing both of her cheeks. "Love you, too!" she says, and I seethe with a jealous rage. Tim Gunn! I LOVE YOU.
, it's off to Irina's tiny closet of an apartment in Manhattan to see her collection. I am sure you get used to it, but tell me, New Yorkers, how do you live like this? My smallest apartment ever was 700 square feet when I lived in Dallas, and I felt like I could cook from the bathtub. Comparing it, however, to Irina's place, it was a palatial estate. Not only does she live there, she resides with a tiny, yippy dog named Princess. Siiiiiigh. I can't hate on a dog, even a yippy one, but... Princess? Tim finds her cute, or pretends to, even though she yips at him.
Irina shows him her sketches, all of which are displayed on her refrigerator. That is sort of cute. She says that she really wanted to make this collection about herself, and where she's from. "I automatically thought of Coney Island," she says. Which... isn't Coney Island thought to be kind of seedy? Please do forgive me if I am wrong about that. Anyway, Irina and her sister used to go there for fun, and it has informed the designs in her collection. "So, it's kind of a celebration of your growing up in New York," Tim says, "and more specifically Coney Island." Irina says, yes, it's really her "thank you to New York for being so good to me." That's very sweet, really. She explains that her family is from the Republic of Georgia and that her parents moved her and her sister to New York "to achieve the New York dream." Of living in a closet. No? Wait, no. To achieve success. They show some really fantastic black and white photos of Irina's gorgeous mom back in the day. She explains that one of her ideas has to do with t-shirts, which she has screen printed with classic postcard images of Brooklyn and Coney Island. To my surprise, Tim lauds this t-shirt idea as positive risk-taking. I guess he hasn't been in any souvenir shops lately? It just doesn't seem that risky when you can buy that same t-shirt on the boardwalk for $4.99. She's also done some knits. "They're hand knits," she says. "Not cut and sew." Tim is impressed by the knits, less so by this kind of terrible fur, crosshatch, vest or something she has done and is planning to pair with some kind of... thing? It's hard to understand what she's talking about -- the sketch she's showing him looks like a formal gown -- but she hasn't made it, yet, so it's hard to imagine it. In fact, it reminds Tim of a sisal rug, Heeee. Irina, however, insists that when it is finished it will be "elegant." Elegance, she says, is always "in." Elegant or not, Tim encourages her to make sure her collection does not end up looking forced. "I don't know what Althea's collection is gonna look like," she says, "I don't know what Carol Hannah's collection is gonna look like." Side note: Why can't she say the name Hannah? I mean, she can say "hand," right? It's like that. How hard is it? Anyway, she has a lot of work to do, Tim says, yadda yadda.
Later, Tim meets Irina's family and friends in New York for lunch at one of her favorite (unnamed) restaurants. Her family is, no joke, stunning. I don't know why her mom wanted to dye her beautiful dark hair blonde, but it ain't for me to say. Her parents moved to the States so that Irina and her sister could achieve success, and Irina gets a little choked up in an interview talking about how she feels like she has to do what her parents did not get to do, themselves, because of moving away from their homeland and experiencing culture shock. The folks tell TG that they are very proud of their daughter. "I always believed she would become somebody," Irina's mom says, in a beautiful, heavy accent. Irina says her mom has always been supportive of her, and pretty much gave her free rein to do whatever she wanted... which may explain why she is so aggressively fond of herself, but still, it's nice to hear of a parent being supportive of their child's dream. I always like that. Her mom says that Irina called her a few days ago, saying how stressed out she was and that she couldn't sleep, to which her mom replied, "You work so hard, so many years... you have to win it. You have no choice." Awesome. It reminded me so vividly of this awesome shirt, I had to stop and laugh. Tim emotionally says that, no matter the outcome of the competition, Irina is already a winner. It's so sweet of him, especially since he declines to tack on that she's also a biiiiitch.
"I'm a winner, too, for having a daughter like her," her mom says, and Irina is very moved. It's terribly sweet. She has a really nice family, despite her old-school Georgian dad who has not always been supportive of his daughter going into fashion, but now seems to be at least supporting her in this competition. "Good luck for you," he says, raising his glass. "To Irina," Tim Gunn adds, "and to the American Dream." Aw.
Finally, he is off to Dayton, Ohio to visit Althea. Despite presumably living in NYC for many years and no doubt traveling in many service elevators, he is flummoxed by the freight lift he has to ride to get to her loft. It earns both a "yikes," and an "egads," both of which are hilarious in every way. Althea says in an interview that she came back to her hometown to work so that she could really focus. "I'll have plenty of time to get to New York afterwards," she says. Her explains to Tim that when she came home from Los Angeles, she started watching a lot of SciFi movies, and that her collection was thus inspired. So weird! I mean, all of them have these random "inspirations" that seem... unlike anything they appeared to be into on the show. Althea just did not seem like a Trekkie of any kind to me, before. "I was really inspired by these women in these movies," she says, adding that she wanted to translate that strong woman vibe into her clothes. "All right, I'm intrigued," Tim Gunn says, unable to fully cloak the skepticism in his voice.
Althea, like Irina, has knits in her collection, and the ones Tim sees are so good, he wants to see more. However, when he sees some kind of confusing coat/dress thing made out of what looks like an entire bolt of sweatpants material, he is beyond concerned. "It looks like Edwardian era, but she's visiting the Old West," he says. "This can't walk down that Bryant Park runway!" Althea trusts him, and takes it in stride. She does have this annoying thing where instead of discussing things, she says "yeah, yeah" like whatever he's saying she's already thought of, but I will chalk that up to her being smart enough not to argue with an industry expert. She says in an interview that she knows that editing is a very important step. Tim tells her that she has a lot of editing to do, yes, but that she has a lot of really great work behind her. "Just don't lose sight of who you are," he insists. Althea says she is thinking that if she stays true to herself, she can create something that is unique and make a big statement.
She takes Tim through the snowy landscape to her family's house. "This is adorable!" Tim says of the home, and is greeted by Althea's family, a big group of her friends and her cute boyfriend. A montage of photos of Althea reveals that she was a gorgeous child. She says that she wanted to be an artist when she was younger, and that her drawing evolved into fashion drawing. Her mother remembers when Althea was in fifth grade and said that she wanted a sewing machine. Her sweet dad says that they all understood that her future was in New York. Althea says that the fact that she's going to Bryant Park to show her work makes her future seem limitless. I just like Althea, y'all. She's young and her insecurities are sometimes worn on her sleeve, which is frustrating, but I like her. It is a close race for me between her and ol' CH, who I also love.
Back in New York, Tim has to make a difficult phone call. Apparently, the images Irina was using on her Coney Island tees are copyrighted. She's obviously devastated. "I don't want this to adversely impact your incredible collection in any way," he says. "I want you to use it, but with images that are your own." She's only got ten days to come up with something else, and she's exhausted. Seriously, she looks totally sleep-deprived and miserable, and it's heartbreaking to imagine having to start over on something like that. She groans that maybe she'll hand-paint a new Ferris wheel image, or come up with something completely different. Ugh. She's not my fave, but still, that sucks.
With five days remaining before the show, the ladies begin arriving in New York. Let me ask y'all something... is the finale this boring every season? Not that their lives are boring, or anything, but dudes. Is it just me or are they saying the same stuff over and over again? "I'm nervous. It's challenging. This is important to me." Yeah, uh, we got it the first 100 times you said it, everybody. "I'm very confident, but at the same time, very nervous," Irina says. Again. She adds that doing Fashion Week is great, but at the same time, the point of the competition is to win it. I suppose she has a point, though being grateful for this ridiculous opportunity might occur to your average human at some point.
When Irina arrives at the hotel suite the three of them will share, Althea is already ensconced. "I didn't even hear you come in," Althea says, giddy. Yes, well, demons move quietly. That is how they get you. "This is so cuuuute," Althea says of Irina's coat, in that "I haaate yoooou" way that only young women can give a compliment. There is weird tension which Althea can only smile and nod through, and without Carol Hannah being there yet, they can only fake nice with each other. Althea says in an interview that she doesn't trust Irina as far as she can throw her, and she feels like Irina could snap back to her betraying persona at any time. She is quite right.
Irina also says in an interview that she distanced herself from Althea after they left LA, which, um... yes, it's not "distancing yourself" when you crap all over someone on television. When you don't hear from someone after that, they are "distancing" themselves from YOU. Because you are a rat. She goes on to add that, you know, working closely in the workroom with all those people for those weeks was hard, but that, in the end, she still "sort of" liked everybody. Whatever.
The tension of each other's company is not helped by the absence of Carol Hannah, who was supposed to be there hours ago. Finally, Tim arrives with some disturbing news. Carol Hannah is very sick. "Oh, nooo," Irina and Althea say in flat unison. Ha! Maybe they are sympathetic, a little, but you know... not really. Anyway, CH has a stomach virus and cannot be there that day. "It's contagious," Tim says, dramatically, and adds that they want her to "heal and repair" before she comes to the workroom. "It would have to be like, death, that would keep me from being here right now," Althea interviews. "So, I can only imagine how bad it is." Setting this news aside, they read a little note from Heidi welcoming them to Fashion Week and share a toast of champagne, sparing a small raise of the glass for their fallen comrade, Carol Hannah, as well. That is short lived, naturally. When Tim is gone, Irina says, WHILE LAUGHING, that she "honestly" feels sorry for Carol Hannah. Althea is a little more honest in an interview, mentioning that though this is bad for CH, it's good for the two of them left in the contest. "What if it's only two people?" she asks Irina. "We'll either become best friends or the worst enemies," Irina laughs, again. Um, I believe you are well on your way to the latter, right? So let's not be ridiculous.
A new day dawn and it is time for their first trip to the workroom. Althea is pleased that it is painted a calming blue. They see Carol Hannah's collection there, but not her, and are just about to get nervous in the silence between them when she shows up. "When I walked in, there was a little bit of 'oh, she made it,'" CH interviews. Hey, producers? I see what you're doing, here. , on Lifetime, Girls Are Bitches. Ugh. Carol Hannah tells them how she was barfing all day and night the day, and suggests they not try to hug her. It does not appear that they were jumping up to do so. Irina says in an interview that she does feel for CH. "If you don't have your health, you have nothing," she says, in all seriousness, sounding about as Old World as you can get. Thank you, village witchdoctor, for your healing wisdom.
Thank God Tim Gunn arrives to make it interesting again. He reminds them, as if they could forget, that they are now but a block from Bryant Park, and begins a tour of their collections. "You've done a lot of work," he says to Althea, but he does not like a sequined jacket she's made and suggests she take it out. She agrees with him, which is sort of a shame, because... well, I love a sequin. Althea is questioning herself, and experiencing it's really too bad. Tim has some good advice about whether or not her pieces are all for the same customer, but it really seems to throw her in a self-doubt loop. It's hard not to, when he suggests that one look is "downright Hilary Clinton." Aw, come on. When he points out all the good knitting she's done, the camera cuts to Irina, looking smug like she invented knitting and like somehow Althea used her psychic powers to divine that Irina had the totally groundbreaking idea to have a sweater in her collection and copied her. When Tim walks away she "jokingly" accuses her of doing that, and I am sure it takes all of Althea's inner strength not to go for her with a pair of scissors. "The last thing I want to do is copy from her," she says in an interview. "Shut up."
I am thankful that Tim now shifts the focus to the still-green Carol Hannah. He asks how she's doing, wondering if she's feeling okay: "Comme çi, comme ça?" Hilaaaariously, she says no, she's just so-so. His tour of her collection leads her to discard one jacket that she already hated, choose to keep a dress that is rather plain, but necessary, and rethink another to, as Tim suggests, give it some youth. There appears to be A LOT of satin going on in her collection. A lot. Nine THOUSAND dollars, people! You could have spun clothes from gold thread for that! Perhaps I exaggerate... and then again I have not seen the full collections, yet, so maybe all will be revealed when some kind of titanium, Japanese-import mother of pearl ensemble rolls down the runway.
Time now to turn to Irina, who "can't begin to tell you how much heartache I gave myself over this collection." She says that in lieu of the copyright-infringed tees she had originally included, she came up with another idea -- to put phrases on the t-shirts, using the same burnout technique, listing reasons to love New York. People, prepare yourselves to rise up in righteous indignation. This chick, so fond of accusing people of "copying" her, has now ripped off not one, but two sources of copyrighted material! Allow the fabulous Project Rungay to break down the whole controversy. (Link contains one mild spoiler.) In brief, when she was told she could not use one copyrighted image, she then appears to have Googled "reasons to love New York," and... just lifted her whole thing straight from this article titled -- wait for it -- Reasons. To Love. New York. Wow, it's embarrassing. And RIDICULOUS. Girl, I don't care how tired you are... you couldn't come up with your own reasons to love NEW YORK? The mind veritably REELS. Here's the thing: I don't like her, but I hope and pray that this scene was edited to make it LOOK like she is trying to pull a fast one, and that actually she turned to Tim and said "yeah, I used this stuff from NY Mag and here it is," and he said "that's fine." I don't know how it could be fine, but still, that's what I hope, because... wow. Anything other than that would take balls the size of the Republic of Georgia, and I hate to think of anyone being so crazy that they would try to get away with it!
Aside from all that, Tim's main problem is that her entire collection is black. Like her heart! Carol Hannah says in an interview (in a Muppet voice) that Irina's collection "is alotta black." It is. Where it's not black, it's gray. Y'all, Irina may be falling apart just a tad. She's tried to create a "new" leather pant (ugh, "pant" in the singular makes me gag), and Tim is doing that scary thing where you can tell he really hates something because he goes into a very mild, subdued, panic. It's subtle, but I know y'all can see it when he says, "I don't know, I'd just need to see them on." He's afraid, he says, that they look like chaps. Dang! Irina is looking really tired when she leads him over to a heap of fabric on the floor to show him her finale dress, which even she admits is currently a mess. It's, shocker, also black and though we can't really see it, Tim says the sequined top is too precious, and the bottom is too modern. Hmm. Black dress with sequins... didn't Carol Hannah do that in the Bob Mackie challenge? Yes. Copycat, much, Irina?
Althea is stealing glances over her shoulder at all of this, and says in an interview that while there are pieces of her stuff that need work, nothing needs as much as Irina's dress. "There's pins everywhere," she says. "And there's probably about twenty yards of hemming. Does she want to get to that, soon? I don't know." Hee. Now who's being smug? Meanwhile, Irina is trying to explain to Tim that she got sort of insane with wrapping and braiding fabric on the dress, and the whole thing makes him put his head in his hands and say, in all seriousness, "Good God, you have a lot of work to do." Y'all, if Tim Gunn said that to me, in that tone, I would jump off a bridge. Before leaving, he reminds them that they have a lot of work to do on their stuff as well as model castings, fittings and hair and makeup consultations.
The time has come for model casting, which would have been interesting to watch in detail, but we only see a little of it. "What kind of models are you looking for?" Carol Hannah asks. Irina: "The pretty kind?" Ha! Althea says she's looking for certain body types for certain looks, and they head off to meet the casting director. After a parade of skinny chicks, they make their final selections. The best is when Carol Hannah asks one girl where she's from. "I'm from Norway," the girl says. CH: "I want her." Beautiful.
Back in the workroom, much work is happening when they are surprised by a visit from none other than the Vicious Twins, Nina Garcia and Michael Kors. Everyone is mortified, but as Irina says, advice from these two is always valuable. She's glad, she says, to get a chance to talk to them when they're not grilling them on the runway. In other news, I wish Irina didn't pronounce a hard G on the end of every -ing word. Everything sounds like: "when they're not grilleen gus on the runway." I am sure this is a product of both her parents' accented speech and perhaps the area of NY she's from? I have no room to talk, of course, having the most ridiculous accent of all time, myself, but still. It bugs.
Nina and Michael seem to give pretty good advice. Everything, they say, should totally exemplify who the finalists as designers. If they see anything in their collections that's been done before, Nina says, they should take that stuff out. Michael explains how to order the show, in high/low moments like the audience is being taken for a ride. All good. Nina adds that they should think about color, and seemingly without knowing anything about Irina's collection, says that an all-black collection is difficult to get editorial on. I think that's what she says, anyway -- the edit is really weird and the camera is on Irina, not Nina, so who knows if Nina was even in the room when she said this? Anyway, Irina puts her head in her hands. In an interview, she has the unmitigated gall to say that she disagrees with Nina. "I know she's a judge," Irina says, "but color just doesn't fit in to what I'm doing with this collection." Well, Michael did tell them to go with their guts, so I guess... sometimes, though, your gut will turn on you. Ask Carol Hannah! (See what I did?)
Speaking of CH, she is over in her corner, running on adrenaline, breaking mannequins and just trying to live. "I'm a tough person," she says, "and I can push through pretty much anything." Her sickness, however, is draining her. The day, the models arrive for fittings, and she is still feeling gross. I hope she is no longer contagious, because Tim arrives to send in their "muse models," i.e. the models they were paired with during the regular run of the show, Lisa, Tanisha and Kalyn. Wow, Kalyn's name gets on my nerves. How could that be the way it's really spelled? It is, though. Tim also reminds the designers that whatever look these girls wear in the show will be the looks that appear for that final moment before the judges. So noted, the designers get to fittin'. CH's model, Lisa, has always been my fave. Her body WILL NOT quit, and though I always say she looks good in everything, some of Carol Hannah's more whimsical designs don't quite work on her, so CH has to try her in several things. The other designers are doing the same with their models, taking Polaroids and trying to decide how much time they'll have to alter one look or another.
Heidi arrives, somehow looking more gorgeous than ever before, to surprise them all yet again. Can they get a minute to do some work, or something? Damn. Heidi's big not-at-all-shocking announcement is that they must all now create a 13th look in one day. They don't even pretend to be surprised, possibly because they've seen this show a time or two. Equally unshocking is that they'll have some help -- Gordana, Christopher and Logan have been brought back to pitch in as their assistants. Drawing names from the much-feared velvet bag, Heidi gives them a chance to choose their helpers. Because she is obviously insane, Althea, who is first, chooses Logan. Whaaaat? Possibly she still feels burned by Gordana's late in the game friendship with Irina, but... WHY would you not choose Gordana, master seamstress?! Crazy. I really hope it's not because she was trying to be NICE to Irina, who very obviously would have chosen Gordana no matter what, because if that's it, the girl has Stockholm Syndrome. Also! You know CH is sad that she does not get to choose Logan, who she looooves. However, as the last to choose, she seems pleased enough to have Christopher on her team. He's not terrible at sewing, I don't think, and I believe his niceness will at least help her not to freak out. "Now we have help, which is much needed," she says in an interview. "And, it's way more fun." Anything would be more fun than sitting in a room with Irina, as she tries to bitchily manipulate everyone's emotions, no question.
Tim announces that that for the 13th look, they will have a chance to sketch, receive $450 and take that good ol' trip to Moooood to purchase fabric. Consultations with the new helpers begin immediately. Althea wants to make a strong-shouldered jacket to set off all the knits she's done. Logan, in his twee scarf with his emotional haircut, suggests she not go with her idea to have the lining show, or something -- I can't figure it out, exactly, because we see a nanosecond of the sketch, and Logan mumbles like a teenager.
Over at her station, Irina is explaining to Gordana that all her pieces are done, just not DONE-done. Meaning they're not done at all, and Gordana is not stupid, so she knows this. "Irina definitely needs help," she interviews. "The best thing that I can do is give her the confidence she needs." No, G! The thing you can do is finish her ratty-ass, plagiarized work! Poor Gordana. You chose unwisely when making a buddy of Irina. Whatever the case, she is going to be supportive, obviously, and tells Irina that she would wear any one of her pieces. "Thanks!" Irina says, seemingly genuine. "You can have whatever you want!" Sweet.
Elsewhere, Carol Hannah is explaining to sweet Christopher the basis of her collection. He says that he is mainly there to bandy around ideas with her, not to give her ideas, and when she says that her 13th look will be another gown, he is on board. CH says that with her other pieces, she's been trying to do things that aren't so expected of her, but gowns are what she loves to do, so for this extra look, she feels compelled to do one.
Now it is off to "the original Mood," with Tim, who sends them on a rampage through the store. He overhears Gordana wondering if they need knitting or crochet needles. "You're gonna knit and crochet, Gordana?!" he asks. "Do you have time?" Gordana laughs: "of course!" She probably COULD do it, too. Irina looks half-dead at this point, so I am not sure she will be knitting anything. Elsewhere, Christopher is ferrying fabric back and forth for CH's approval. He is such a nice guy, and seems so willing to help. Althea's got what she needs, but is just worried about running out of money. Finally, it is time to leave. "Thank you Moooood," TG says for a final time, and adds a shout out to the resident bull terrier: "Thank you, Swatch!" Y'all. Like Rachel Zoe, I die. Swatch! I had to rewind it a million times.
Back in the workroom, Logan begins draping a pair of pants for Althea's look. "There's still a lot of work to do," he says. Irina says in an interview that Gordana's role, to her, is key. While Irina lamely irons or whatever, Gordana lolls around doing the grunt work, because that shit is so easy for her. Everybody works on their game plans, deciding what they can finish and what they have to do the day for fittings or whatever. Everyone is aware of the massive amount of work they have left to do and their helpers all lend moral support in varying degrees.
Back in the hotel, Carol Hannah takes a turn for the worse. As soon as they get in the door, she has to hit the bathroom. "Too much movement! The cab and then the elevator..." she says, when Althea is concerned. She is feeling awful, and Althea sweetly brings her an ice bag for her neck as she hangs her head over the toilet. Competition is one thing, yes, but you do not let a nice girl die on the floor of the bathroom. Do you see Irina in there, holding back hair? No, you do not. I rest my case.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see which we think were the Best and Worst Looks of the Season. And check back soon for part two of the finale!
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