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Where do I begin? Almost, ALMOST one of the best episodes ever. If only we weren't saddled with the most moronic group of designers ever and the right person had won. Chris March greets the designers on the runway in a Germanic drag costume. You guessed it, they're designing for drag queens. It's pretty amazing. Half of the designers are shitting themselves because they have to expend all of their drama on someone besides themselves. The queens are uniformly entertaining. Seriously, Blayne should just shut up forever after watching this episode. The girls manage to throw away lines funnier than his most calculated self-conscious moment.
Rayon has his best and worst moments of the season so far. He has this weird moment where he talks about his dead grandfather and cries. Oh, and his grandfather has been dead for like over a decade and Rayon blows kisses to the sky when he talks about him. I'm sorry, maybe I have no heart. That was his worst moment. Best was when he talked to his queen, New York's famous Hedda Lettuce, and told her that her comments about his outfit hurt his feelings. I felt for a second like I didn't hate him. Don't worry, I still do. Here's the thing -- Terri created the most badass, amazing outfit ever. She should win like world leader or something for this outfit. It was this crazy corseted kimono. BRILLIANT. Moving on. The top three were Terri, Korto, and Joe (who was totally frightened the whole time). The bottom three were Daniel, Keith, and Jerell. Terri did not win. She should have. Joe won -- his outfit was great, but still. But! Daniel got the boot. It was so completely satisfying. His outfit was this disgusting chiffon nonsense and he totally deserved it.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The designers had to create a day-to-evening look for Brooke Shields to wear on Lipstick Jungle. Terri had serious questions about the state of Rayon's genitalia. Daniel blahed his way to safety yet again, while dragging Kelli down. She got the boot. And, Keith got the win.
It's morning in New York. There's the Statue of Liberty. There's a pretzel stand. And, there's the Atlas Apartment Building. I could use a pretzel right now. There's Blayne and his highlights having cereal. On the fridge, we see a post-it note that reads, "Too Much Drama!" Frankly, I don't think this show is what Mary J. had in mind. Are we missing something? Because other than the drama inherent in being surrounded all of the time by a camera crew and being part of a process that could potentially make something very important happen for your career, I'm not seeing a lot of excess drama around here. And people keep talking about this drama. Korto mentioned something about how she was leaving the drama to the other folks last week and Blayne was calling everyone "Team Dramalicious." It's just another thing I find annoying about this season. No one's doing anything that terribly dramatic. In fact, I'd venture to say many of them have been a tad boring and predictable. So, it's embarrassing to hear all of them talking like they're in the middle of war-torn Bosnia or something.
As Terri is making coffee drip-style, she asks a sleepy-voiced Stella if she is ready for the day. "Yeah. Just as ready as I am any other day." Stella really doesn't like to wake up. We see Korto artfully applying some eye-makeup and then we see an interview with her where she says that it was shocking to see Kelli go home, while Daniel was safe yet again. Then, she adds, "All the people that try to be safe every day? (sarcastic closed-mouthed laugh) Wrong strategy." I guess she gave up on leaving the drama to the other people. However, I do agree that we have seen the end of Daniel's usefulness.
Blayne is having the second course of his breakfast, yogurt I presume, and asks Joe if he thinks that Keith should have won the competition. He doesn't. He thinks that Keith's skirt was just "raw-cut swatches of chiffon. How innovative." He was being sarcastic about that last part. He, in fact, does not find that innovative. No, what Joe finds innovative is being really quiet while the leader of his group is making what he considers mistakes, then saying something to make her look bad when Tim Gunn comes around. That's an innovative way to get yourself cut. Joe interviews that "Keith, Keith, Keith. I still don't know what Keith's aesthetic is." Why does it pain him so? I've always found that interesting about this show -- when designers seem practically insulted that a designer whose work they don't enjoy is on the show. Joe thinks that all Keith really does is "swatches and strips." He wonders if the judges are blind. Geez. OK, I'll admit that Keith is a little one-note with the unfinished business, but I really don't think it's that bad. They all head off to Parsons.
Heidi greets the designers on the runway. She's carrying the lovely black velvet button bag. She says there is a special guest to tell them about their challenge. Then, from behind the scrim, we see the silhouette of an enormous Hildegard-looking opera singer person. Rayon interviews that he was like, "What the fuck is that?" The mannequins are like, "Yo, Lee Strasberg, chill with the exact duplication of your earlier reactions. It makes us want to kill you even more." Then, the person starts laughing. It's Chris March from Season 4. You know, I like Chris and I don't mean to sound like I'm constipated or something, but the marketing of one's own laugh is something I find gross and embarrassing.
When the designers hear the laugh, they get who it is. Then, Chris enters from behind the scrim. He's wearing a drag outfit in the style of a German opera singer, except the bust has disco balls over the tits. Chris air kisses Heidi, because the boobs on his outfit are so big Heidi can't really reach him. Chris has fake eyelashes on that make his lids droopy, plus he's breathing heavily. He looks like he's about to drop dead. Chris greets everyone and Heidi says that he will be presenting the challenge. Chris says that, in case they haven't guessed it, they will be designing for drag queens. Blayne mumbles, "Too much drama," to himself. Everybody seems giggly and nervous. Except for Terri. She interviews that this is the challenge she has been waiting for because she loves drag queens. I don't know how much more I can love Terri, but she keeps pushing it. That's kind of amazing.
Chris explains that he has assembled a great group of ladies for the designer to work with. It's time to introduce them to the runway. A procession of some over-the-top drag queens begins on the runway. The designers seem shocked. Korto interviews that she was overwhelmed. The ladies are some big boys. Stella says, "This is a real tough one." Finally, we're all met.
Heidi greets the girls and asks them if they would like to introduce themselves. First, we have Farrah Moans. She's a in the style of Marilyn Monroe and says that, "If romance and glamour is your thing, then honey I'm your queen." Wow, this could take a while. Kenley sort of gasps and giggles at the same time at this. , is Miss Understood. She's a little bit punk and a little bit Phyllis Diller. She says that she eats sequins for breakfast. That can't be very easy to digest. Terri totally licks her teeth or Miss Understood. I totally believe that she has spent time around drag queens. She suddenly seems like she's right at home.
Sweetie introduces herself . She's a big girl, with lots of blonde hair. She says she is known as "New York City's Big-Titted Honky Soul Mama." I don't imagine that there was a lot of competition for that title, but I could be wrong. I'm not. is Luisa Verde. She says that she is "the first supermodel." Mmm. I thought that was Janice Dickinson. Seriously. That's not a very good tag, Luisa. Moving on -- here's Hedda Lettuce, who says in a Joan Crawford faux mid-Atlantic accent that if the designers don't make her look better than Heidi, she'll kill them. Here's Sharon Needles, who looks like a cross between Marilyn Manson and Vanessa Carlton. She says that sometimes she's good, sometimes she's bad, but she's always dangerous. These bitches need a writer. Here's the oddly low-key LeMay who announces that obviously she has a love of vintage clothing. I'm not sure that's obvious. She's wearing a full-length dress in a floral print. While it may actually be vintage, there's nothing obviously vintage about it.
Anita Greenkard ("with a 'k'") introduces herself. She says that she is "your South American banquet." I guess the intention behind that title is that she's sort of pan-South American? I dunno. Here's Sherry Vine. She's "kind of New York's little sex Las Vegas kitten." She has great legs. Her dress is so short that I think I might be seeing a little underbutt, but the legs are still nice. is Acid Betty, who is like 7 feet tall and looks kind of futuristic. She says that she's the fiercest hybrid drag queen in New York City. I believe it. She is hard-core. I'm going to assume that "hybrid" means hybrid of transvestite and transsexual? I realize that a lot of the girls up there live their lives as men, but their queens are supposed to be women. I don't think that Acid Betty is fostering that illusion. Contact me if you'd like for me to speak at the Drag Queen Identity Symposium. Finally, we have Varla Jean Merman. She says in a twee little voice that she is a Southern Ann-Margret (then she drops her voice an octave...or two) "on steroids." She doesn't actually sound Southern to me, but whatevs. It feels a little like these girls just blindly dipped their hands into the adjective jar to decide what they were gonna be.
Chris, who seriously seems like he's on quaaludes or something right now, says that fashion is all about putting on a show. He encourages them to be as theatrical and over-the-top with their designs as they want to be. Now, they get to pick their queens. Keith gets to choose his queen first because he won the last challenge. He says that he loves a great set of legs, so he chooses Sherry Vine. Her eye shadow is really purple. As she's leaving the stage, Heidi says, "Ooh, she does have a great set of legs." Keith replies, "Hell yeah." Weird. Daniel gets to choose . He chooses Anita Greenkard. She bows and leaves the stage. Daniel says that they both like Spanish aristocratic style, which is odd. I mean, she looks Spanish, yeah. Aristocratic? OK. He thinks it's a good match. OK.
Blayne is and he chooses Miss Understood. Kenley chooses Farrah Moans, who blows a kiss at Kenley. Kenley laughs like she's so completely afraid. Joe chooses Varla who giggles and prances off the stage. That was funny. Korto says that she loves sugar, so she's gonna go with Sweetie. Sweetie replies, "Watch it, Honey. Might rot your teeth." Again, funny. It's Rayon's turn to choose and, predictably, he makes it all about him. "Since Rayon has a head of ocean, he needs a Hedda Lettuce." Bwah, boh. Hedda, as if she's just won a People's Choice Award, says, "Oh my God, Thank you, thank you, thank you!" And, she dramatically gallops off the runway. Leanne chooses "the lovely" Sharon Needles. Jerell chooses LeMay who replies, "You won't regret it." Jerell says that he knows and that he expects LeMay will be working it out for him up there on that runway. Terri, who seriously looks like she's in heaven, chooses Acid Betty. That leaves Stella to choose. I would NOT want to be in a room with a drag queen who just got chosen last. But, Stella says to Luisa Verde, "You're fabulous. I adore you." She replies, "Luisa will work it for you." Great -- another third-person talker.
With all of the girls chosen and off the runway, Heidi tells the designers that they will be going to the workroom now to get to know their clients. She tells them to have fun, then turns to Chris and calls him "Chuts." I swear. She asks him what they're going to do now and he suggests that they have German food. She's very excited by the idea of "pretzels and beer." Cause you know that Heidi Klum Seal consumes massive quantities of pretzels and beer.
In the workroom, we get the wacky something-quotable-and-crazy-is-'bout-to-happen music. Tim enters and tells the designers that each of the drag queens has a specific persona and it is the job of the designers to portray that persona in their design. This is their chance to be theatrical and over-the-top and he encourages him to do that. They will have a $200 budget for this challenge and two days to work! They do not want to leave a queen's ass hanging out on the runway. All of the looks will be auctioned off to benefit Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. They're the group that does Broadway Bares every year. Hubba, hubba. The designers applaud the charity aspect of the challenge, then Tim let's the queens in.
As expected, there's a drama shit show immediately. Hedda Lettuce calls for Rayon as soon as she walks in. They perform a double cheek kiss upon reaching each other. We see LeMay tell Jerell that she's not "costume-y." She adds, "I don't need to rely on costumes. Have you seen me?" I don't think LeMay understands herself very well. I don't even need to point out how ridiculous it is for a drag queen to say that she's not "costume-y." Sir, I'd suggest that you look up the definition of costume. I understand what she's getting at, but there are clearer ways to get your point across. Jerell interviews that the big part of this challenge is to please his client and create a look that encapsulates her persona, however ill-defined.
Korto asks Sweetie what color palette she likes to work with. That's interesting about Korto -- she did this in the last challenge. I find it kind of compelling that she starts with color a lot of the time. Sweetie answers that she likes "fire" colors -- red, orange, gold, etc. Miss Understood tells Blayne that drag is all about "smoke and mirrors." You emphasize what works for you and you deemphasize what doesn't work. She adds that Blayne is lucky he got her, because if he had gotten Hedda Lettuce drag rules dictate that he would have had to put a bag over her head. Ouch. Jealous much? Unless one of these bitches is super famous in some forum that I don't know anything about, Hedda Lettuce is hands-down the most well known of them. But, I like the cattiness. Continue, ladies. Blayne interviews that Miss Understood's persona is "bright-colored and crazy" and he thinks they will be a great team. That does seem like it should be a pretty good match.
Hedda Lettuce says to Rayon, "I want things. I want shiny. I want pop. I want glamour. I want this. I want that. I want it all in one outfit. Yet, I want to be tasteful...figure!" She's very shy. Rayon interviews that Hedda is over-the-top. She's a professional comedian and her outfits have to stand out. Rayon says that this is a great opportunity to "push the envelope." Stella tells Luisa that she's going to grommet everything, so there will be metal in the dress to match her shoes. Stella really has no qualms about doing the same thing over and over, does she? Sherry Vine reemphasizes for Keith that she's all about "sexy, Vegas, rock and roll."
Leanne is taking Sharon Needles' measurements and to accommodate she has hiked her skirt up around her waist. Classy. Leanne interviews that Sharon is futuristic, so she's going to try to design something like The Jetsons yet fashion forward. Varla, who is a good seven inches taller than Joe, explains that she has a ton of '60s hairstyles. She removes her bangs to show Joe how easy to work with she is. Joe interviews that this challenge is very far from his realm of experience. He suggests to Varla that they go with a retro cat suit and she seems to like the idea of something form-fitting. Joe further interviews that he is approaching this challenge as if he were making Halloween outfits for his daughters.
Anita Greenkard tells Daniel that she likes bright colors. "The brighter the better." Daniel says that Anita is "this glamazon, flamenco kind of dancer." OK. He's going to play off of that, yet make it more "couture." Daniel is so busy being snobby that I feel like he just misses the point all of the time. Anita Greenkard does not look couture. She looks FLASHY. Make it flashy, Daniel! Forget about your tony boarding school high-fallutin fancy accent talking bullshit and make a flashy dress for the fucking tranny! What's the puzzle there? DO IT.
Tim ends the consultations and all of the queens kiss and hug their designers. As they are walking out the door, one of the girls says, "Tim, call me." He laughs. People, I want Tim Gunn to find love. Don't you think he deserves it? Do you remember those interviews where he said he'd had his heart broken years ago and now he's just this spinster? I can't stand it! He's a national fucking treasure, for God's sake. Tim Gunn deserves to get laid. I think we need to do something about it. Now I'm not saying one of those messes up in there is the right candidate, but I just thought now would be a good time to start the MUST FIND LOVE FOR GUNN campaign. I'm thinking a dermatologist or art history professor or artisan cheese maker or perhaps an ACLU lawyer? Something like that. Help me out here. What does it say about us if we just sit here enjoying Tim Gunn while his twilight years are passing with no one to share it with but his cat and Chivas? I don't like what it says, that's what it says.
, Tim takes the designers to Mood. Terri says that Acid Betty is like seven feet tall, so she has to get a lot of fabric. Stella says that Luisa Verde likes to be ladylike and she's going to achieve that be bringing slickness. I know, doesn't sound very intuitive. I think she knows what she's talking about. Kenley says that Farrah Moans looks like Marilyn Monroe, so she wants to create a design that is Old Hollywood, yet over-the-top. There's lots of scrambling at the end of their time at Mood. As she's checking out, Terri says to a clerk, "There ya' go, cha-ching-ching-ching." I'm not sure, because I'm not psychic, but I'm thinking that maybe Terri and I are supposed to be friends. Because it would be very easy for her to make me happy. A little "cha-ching-ching-ching" and I would seriously laugh for like two minutes. Really. Her life would be so easy -- at least the portion of her life dedicated to making her new best friend laugh.
Back at the workroom, everyone gets to work. Tim comes in and tells everyone that the winner of this challenge will have immunity in the challenge. He says that should be a big incentive for them to pull out all of the stops. Keith interviews that he didn't get immunity in the last challenge (because having your design worn by Brooke Shields on network television is prize enough), and he feels like he "deserves" it. So, he wants to get it this time.
I see Blayne, who is wearing some neon pink boa, demand that someone "put the boobies on." It's Joe he's talking to, who replies, "OK, I'll put the boobies on." Varla Jean has left her bra and boob inserts to assist Joe in creating his design -- or perhaps to inspire him otherwise? So, Joe puts this bra on and does the dumbest chicken dance. But, good for him for being game in the first place. The bra is going to help a lot, since they are still having to use men's mannequins for the design. Daniel asks Kenley to take her bra off, so he can use it for his mannequin. She thinks it is as ridiculous thing to ask, as do we. Her breasts remain supported.
Korto diplomatically interviews that Sweetie is a "full-sized woman." She has never designed for a drag queen before and is out of her comfort zone. In the sewing room, Kenley is fretting about having to sew sequins and Joe says that he's just going to have fun. He says, "You better work." I guess that's appropriate enough, but I still feel embarrassed for him right now. Jerell asks Terri if she has done a lot of drag stuff before and she says yes. See? I love her. Terri interviews that she is making a kimono and a super-tight legging, to correspond with Acid Betty's '80s punk rock aesthetic. Terri tells the sewing room that drag queens are serious, like Miss America.
Blayne walks up to Korto with some pink fabric wrapped around his head and says, "If I were a drag queen, my name would be 'Neonlicious.'" She laughs at him in the "YOU ARE A TOTAL IDIOT" way. He tells Stella that she would be "Leathalicious." Unnecessary, because she's already a woman, but I don't think he's coming from that place anyway. Stella interviews, "Blayne is really cute. But, he knows nothin'. He just knows "Girlylicious," what is that?" That's pretty awesome. He knows nothin'. That's a pretty astute way to describe what's going on with Blayne. Leanne says that everything is "licious" with Blayne. Even "licious" is "liciouslicious." If she hears the word again, she'll barf, which would make her "barflicious." He asks everyone what their drag names would be and Korto answers "Annoyedlicious." Perfect again.
The day, the designers are all back in the workroom. Keith says that, upon entering the workroom, there was no doubt that they were designing for drag queens. Jerell says that he's making a big dramatic collar for his dress for LeMay and he hopes she likes it, because he doesn't want to go home. He tells us that he grew up in a lower middle-class family. Life was about survival. He learned early on that anything was achievable -- just have to go out there and grab it. Leanne tells Jerell that his dress looks beautiful.
Oh God, I'm a bad person. This part was so annoying for me. Rayon interviews that he was daydreaming at his workstation and his late grandfather who really loved gardening came to him in a vision and said, "'Rayon, you need some seeds for your dress.' And, he just started scattering these seeds on my dress. And, all of a sudden, I started seeing these bibb lettuces popping up on the garment." I know. He says that he's very confident that Hedda Lettuce is going to like it. He tells Jerell that he's going to put the lettuce heads on the gloves of his outfit, but he has to see how looks in it first. Jerell tells Rayon that his look is hot, which I think is a pretty nice thing to say. Then, Rayon interviews that he was in college when his grandfather died and he still gets emotional talking about it. Then, he gets emotional. Then, he kisses both hands and blows it to the sky. Looks like we've got some fertilizer for those seeds now. I'm sorry, there was just something inauthentic about that whole moment to me and it's probably just my own discomfort at Rayon's naked yet rehearsed emotion, but whatevs.
With nine and a half hours before the end of the day, the designers are all fast at work. Keith says that Sherry Vine likes bling, so he's creating a "fringe tiling" piece. He says that he still has a few fringe techniques that will look completely different from anything that he has created. Well, he should employ them, because his dress currently looks a lot like his toilet paper dress from the New York inspiration challenge. Kenley interviews that she doesn't know how long Keith is going to be able to get by on swatches. There's nothing drag about his outfit either -- there's no color or flair or drama. It's just the swatches that he always uses. In the sewing room, Kenley, who really should be minding her own business, whispers to a lettuce-making Rayon that Keith is working with his swatches again. To his credit, Rayon doesn't engage in any idle Kenley gossip.
In the workroom, Tim enters and tells everyone that their models have arrived for a fitting. They will have an hour with the clients. Tim urges all of them with his Bill Clinton lecture hand to "make it work." Then, a bunch of boys come in. I guess it's unrealistic to expect them to get all dolled up for just a fitting. Also, this is the sort of reveal that Project Runway lurves. Kenley doesn't even recognize the boy version of Farrah. He totally looks like a junior high gym coach, which is sort of perfect. This is completely obvious, but it's weird to me how boys just have longer faces and thicker jaws. Seeing all the guys in the room, they don't really look anything alike at all. But, when they were all in drag I was thinking that several of them looked similar -- there was a room of long-faced girls earlier. It looked like a glamorous family reunion of big-boned people. Blayne says that Miss Understood is actually "this short little Mexican dude" named Alex. Terri's girl looks at the design and says that her titties will be hanging out in the look. Terri agrees and says, "I love a titty hanging out. I love a wardrobe malfunction." I do believe that Terri has spent a lot of time with drag queens. Everything she says should be like minted and distributed on fliers at drag clubs. They'd love this shit.
Man Sweetie, who honestly looks much better as a woman, is wearing Korto's outfit and says that he is worried that the skirt of her look emphasizes his man bits. He adds that you can take in on a big girl, but you can't let out. I totally accept his expertise, but I can't figure out why that's the truth. I would assume that some big girls have the tendency to get even bigger, so you'd best be able to let the hell out of some dresses every once in a while. Korto interviews that she has designed for plus-sized women before and they like to be fly and cute just like everyone else. Sweetie asks Korto how she looks and Blayne replies, "Amazing." Sweetie replies, "No one asked you, other designer." Uh, wow. Some people are always "on." Then, he says re: Kenley's design, "I'm gagging at the silver sequins across the room." Kenley replies, "She's not 'sweetie' at all."
LeMay is concerned about the collar on Jerell's look. She thinks it hides her face. Jerell thinks that the collar adds the interest to the garment. It is a pretty cool collar. She pricks her finger on a needle and jokes, "I'm suing." Varla Jean, who is actually a kind of cute guy, says that the collar on Joe's look needs to be a bit more feminine. Currently, it's standing up and creates kind of an Elvis look. Varla Jean plays around with it a bit and lays it down. She says she sort of likes the nautical feel of the collar lying flat. It's like the Navy. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Luisa tells Stella that she can pull in her corset tighter. She attests to being able to break a rib overnight. Stella replies that she doesn't want her to suffer and Luisa replies, "Come on, Stella." Hedda, who looks kind of like a fratty d-bag out of drag, tells Rayon that she can see where he's coming from but she's nervous. She thinks the lettuces look like barnacles. Then, Rayon adds another layer to the dress that Hedda is already wearing and she clearly thinks it's too much. She says she looks a little like Godzilla. She asks Rayon what he plans to do about sleeves and he replies that there are no sleeves-- that's what the gloves are for. Hedda asks, and I think she was just joking, if Rayon was being lazy and didn't want to make sleeves. Rayon replies, "Unh-nnn." Hedda says, "Are you lying to me?" Terri and Korto hear this exchange and giggle. Terri's all "No she didn't" in an interview. Hedda starts giving notes, including suggesting that the glove be made into a half sleeve. Rayon interviews that he's getting annoyed at Hedda's multiple suggestions. He says that he's not going to make something that he doesn't believe in-- he just hopes that Hedda doesn't try to undermine him on the runway. Hedda says that everything she is saying, she is saying out of love -- "unconditional and pure. Just get it right."
With seven hours remaining and the queens gone, everyone is back to work. Rayon explains the situation with Hedda to Stella and Jerell. Stella says that's fucked up. Jerell says that he will need to read Hedda's ass back to her if she tries to come at him on the runway. Rayon says that he will not let Hedda . He will not let her dictate his future on this show. Rayon calls her "soggy lettuce." Harsh.
With six hours remaining in the day, Tim enters with Chris March. He's going to make the rounds with Tim, so the designers will benefit from his expertise. Chris says that it's insane to be back there. They like Korto's outfit. She questions the skirt portion of her look and Chris suggests that it be made removable, for dramatic effect. He says to Korto, "What do you think drag queens do?" Blayne shows his work to Tim and Chris. There are these bright wing structures on the back of the dress. Tim says it's like "a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park." All of the designers laugh, because how could you not? Blayne, who is wearing a pink glove, shakes his finger at everyone. He interviews that Tim has just given him the greatest compliment, because why would he want to make something ordinary? That's very "I know you are, but what am I?" isn't it? He says that his outfit is going to be "draglicious."
Chris loves Joe's outfit. He's says it's very Varla. He thinks she'll love it and will want to run out of the building in it. Rayon explains his experience with Hedda. Tim says it was mean for her to call him lazy. And, both he and Chris like the gloves. Tim says that he should make her wear the gloves. Tim suggests in a whisper that, "You can tell her you've been to a different rodeo. And, don't you-know-what with me." Seriously, the campaign is on. How cute was that?
Keith explains his garment to Chris and Tim. He says that when Sherry Vine is wearing the dress, he will sculpt the swatches to her shape. Tim says that it sounds like a lot of work. Chris says that it's definitely different. Daniel explains his dress. Chris admires the handiwork in the skirt of his gown. Tim notes that too, but also points out that the top is really boring. It is. The top needs to be as exuberant as the skirt is sophisticated. Daniel interviews that he's not worried at all by Tim's critique. Are they not showing that there has been some sort of history this season of Tim giving critiques that didn't turn out to be accurate? Because I'm seeing a lot of cavalier flinging of Tim's opinions out the window. Daniel thinks his design is very beautiful and flamenco. Tim and Chris bid everyone farewell and they're out of there.
Daniel has Blayne try on his dress. Blayne interviews that it's an evening dress and there is nothing drag about it. Jerell is still nervous about LeMay liking his dress.
The day, Jerell says that he can't wait to see Keith's "wookie onesie" come to life on the runway. In response, Blayne does a pretty respectable Chewbacca. Jerell does one too. Again, not bad. At Parsons, Joe says that this will definitely not be a boring runway show. Tim enters and seconds that emotion. They will have an hour to send the ladies through hair and make-up.
Terri asks Acid Betty if she loves her outfit and she seems a little confused and says yes. Terri interviews that the look is 100% her point of view, so she hopes that Acid Betty will work it on the runway. Sherry Vine tells Keith that she prefers long fringe to the sculpting that he was planning on doing. He interviews that he felt it best to make her happy. Mistake.
In the sewing room, Hedda Lettuce arrives. Rayon tells her that there was a lot of drama the day before, which Hedda seems shocked to hear. The whole lazy thing really bothered Rayon. He says that he really needs Hedda on board and she asks him if he had a breakdown. Funny. They make up and Rayon seems happy about it. Hedda seems like she thinks maybe Rayon is a fool.
Korto says that she is nervous because there's nothing safe about a red sequined dress in the size that she's making it, with flames shooting off of it. The judges are going to hate it or love it. Stella says that Jerell's outfit is very classy, problem is -- none of these broads is classy. They wear a ton of tacky shit most of the time. Tim enters and asks everyone if they are ready for the most fabulous runway show in the history of Project Runway. They are. There's a lot of commotion on the way out of the workroom and we hear Tim say, "Flotsam and jetsam everywhere." We can find that special someone for him.
On the runway, Heidi introduces Michael, Nina, and RuPaul. Yes, RuPaul! Now, I love me some RuPaul. But, we have to talk. The blonde wig is making a girl's age SHOW. It's time to try something a little softer. She looks so drawn right now. It's like when someone puts lipstick and a wig on their hand and it's a puppet. Heidi reminds us that the challenge will be to help Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. She also reminds everyone that this challenge was their chance to be theatrical and over-the-top.
The show begins with Kenley's gown for Farrah Moans. It's a floor length silver sequined number. There is a fan of black and white feathers that frames her face and creates a lot of drama. It's pretty, but just a tad obvious and boring. I like the silver though. Kenley says that it looks like liquid silver and is very Old Hollywood. She says that Farrah Moans is in heaven. It's exactly what she wanted.
Here we have Miss Understood in Blayne's outfit. It's a sleeveless mini dress. There are panels of blue and pink sequins running vertically on the dress. There is a black vinyl waistband and there is also a smaller strip of black vinyl at the bottom of the dress. She's wearing pink gloves with black wrists. On the back of the dress, there are two neon pink, triangular wings. There is multi-colored fringe hanging off of the wings. It's actually pretty interesting, but one of the wings is totally flaccid and it's throwing off the look. Blayne says that he's upset about the wing because he doesn't want the judges to think that it's shoddy craftsmanship, which it clearly is.
up is Varla Jean Merman. It's a pepto pink cat suit in shiny material. There are three-quarter sleeves. The collar is in the nautical style that they had discussed. There is a matching belt that falls low on Varla's hips and there are matching cuffs on the sleeves. The pants are bellbottoms. Joe says that he knew Varla was happy in the garment and it seems absolutely true. She prances out there like the prettiest girl in the world.
Stella's dress is . This is interesting. It's a combination of black shiny material and red plaid. There are grommets and lacing on the garment, per our usual Stella accoutrements, but it is definitely in the retro-glamour style of Luisa. Stella says that, in a normal runway show, her gown would be considered totally over the top -- it's her point-of-view and exactly what she likes. Stella giggles and waves at Luisa when she's done on the runway.
Here's Hedda Lettuce. To be perfectly honest, it doesn't look that terribly different from what Hedda was wearing when we met her. Which is OK, I guess. It's a short stewardess-pantsuit concoction in green. There's a light green dress, with a green print crinoline-like apron over the top. It moves nicely. The gloves are still there with their little lettuces. They're a little shorter than they were earlier. Rayon says he's convinced that Hedda likes the outfit better today, since she's flying down the runway.
Here's Daniel's dress on Anita Greenkard. It's a strapless gown with a flamenco-style skirt. And, it's in this barfy yellow and orange dreamsicle colored fabric. He says that he's very happy with his garment and felt like it really popped. He feels like the judges really liked what he did and are impressed.
is Terri's garment. It's totally rad. It's a short white kimono with massive sleeves. There are bands of blue and silver striped iridescent fabric around the circumference of the sleeves. At the waist, there is a black and red vinyl corset. There are strings of yellow fringe hanging off of the corset. There's a band of silver fabric around the neckline. It's so awesome. You can see Acid Betty's chest, which I think is pretty cool in that whole "hybrid" way.
Here's LeMay in Jerell's look. It's a pretty knee-length dress in blue and green sequins. It's sleeveless and there's a collar that pops up. Jerell says that collar is such a treat. He can tell that LeMay loves wearing the dress.
Sweetie, wearing the gown by Korto, is . It's a red minidress in sequins, with a red satin train that hugs the waist. The dress is one-sleeved and at the shoulder on the sleeves, there are orange, yellow, and red flames. As Sweetie is walking the runway, she removes the skirt. Korto took their advice -- that's pretty cool. Korto reminds us that she's not a drag queen designer, but she put a lot of detail into the dress and she thinks that it looks pretty good on the runway.
Here's Keith's outfit. It's a super short, black-and-white fringed outfit. There's a cutout on the stomach. The fringe is completely asymmetrical. Keith says that Sherry Vine is very Tina Turner. He says it's completely different from anything he has done before. Not sure about that.
up is Leanne's dress for Sharon Needles. It definitely has the futuristic vibe she was talking about. It's a short black dress with panels of silver and blue shiny fabric. The panels are folded into triangles. Leanne feels like she really got to show her point-of-view. She thinks Sharon looks great. It does look pretty good.
Heidi calls Blayne, Kenley, Rayon, Stella, and Leanne. They are all safe. They leave the runway. The models return to the runway. Heidi asks Terri to talk about her look. RuPaul loves it. Nina thinks it looks like a cross between KISS and Mahogany. Michael thinks it's powerful and dramatic, but still edgy.
Keith describes Sherry Vine as a sex kitten and Tina Turner. Heidi says that she thinks the fringe looks messy. Keith counters that rock and roll and can be a little bit messy. It doesn't have to be so pristine. RuPaul replies, "Did the dingo eat your baby too, mate? You've got a lot excuses." Well, it turns out the dingo really did eat that baby, RuPaul. She thinks that the fringe is too random. Also, she doesn't think that Sherry's front leg should have been covered. Nina doesn't even know what the dress is. She doesn't know where the belt begins and ends, etc. Michael thinks that it looks like a sad, gray, molting chicken. Nina reminds him that Keith's messiness has been a factor before. He needs to find a tidier way to put everything together. Not everything has to be a puzzle and that's what it feels like right now.
Joe says that his concept was "Ann-Margret on The Love Boat." He wanted to show off what Varla wanted to show off. Nina says he was successful in showing off Varla's assets. She thinks she's terrific. Varla feigns embarrassment and says, "Nina, stop." RuPaul likes that the hip-hugging belt hides Varla Jean's "candy." Heidi says that Varla's body looks amazing and she replies, "You're not the first person who has told me that."
Jerell explains that he was trying to combine Old Hollywood with drama. RuPaul thinks that the dress is too long and makes LeMay's waist look too long. Michael says that he's surprised it's from Jerell. He thinks it looks normal. In fact, he thinks one of his aunts may have purchased a dress like that during a "good bar mitzvah moment." Ouch.
Korto says she wanted to show off Sweetie's legs. RuPaul says that you could tell Sweetie loved the dress. Also, the removable skirt was "very drag." Nina thinks that Korto had a lot of fun during the challenge.
Daniel describes that he was going for flamenco whatnot with Anita Greenkard. Nina wonders why he did something really tame. He thinks sequins and the like are "gaudy." If he made something like that, he says that he would want to throw up looking at it. Heidi wanted more drama and innovation. Daniel says that it's drag, not a showgirl's outfit. Um, if I recall, RuPaul just called them all showgirls not too long ago. Michael said there's no "pow." Daniel disagrees. RuPaul's like, "Hello! These girls gotta make some cash. They don't wanna be selling hormones up in Harlem to make their rent." Good point.
The judges confer. Michael says that everywhere you looked on Terri's design, there was something to look at. They repeat that Joe's belt hid the candy. Nina thinks that it added to Varla's persona. RuPaul says that Sweetie felt so good in Korto's outfit and it added to everyone's enjoyment. Heidi thought that Keith's outfit was messy. Michael doesn't think that Keith is paying attention to the body, only manipulating fabric. RuPaul reiterates that she thinks Jerell's dress was too long. Michael thinks you could find something ill-fitting like it in any costume shop. RuPaul says that Daniel's design didn't live up to the challenge. It didn't make her want to root for Anita or wear the dress. Nina says that Daniel has missed the mark "considerably" with two challenges. This one and the Olympics challenge. Plus, he gets really defensive when they offer criticism.
The designers return to the runway. Terri is in. Shoulda won!!! Joe wins the challenge. That's funny. He has immunity for the challenge. He interviews that winning has confirmed that he gets stronger with each challenge. He wants to make it to Bryant Park. Korto is in. Jerell is in and seems very relieved. That leaves Keith and Daniel. Heidi says that Daniel played it safe and made excuses. She tells Keith that his outfit was random and messy. They wonder if he has anything else to show. Daniel is out.
He's so bad at this. He shakes his head and kind of just has a little spasm. He awkwardly kisses Heidi and leaves the runway. He says he's sad that he might be letting some people down. He cries with Keith backstage. Keith seems really upset. He cries in his interview that he's sad that it has come to an end. Daniel is cute, but I'm kind of glad that he's gone.
Jeff Long missed the entire Olympic Games. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com. Don't forget to check out Bravo's web series "Watch What Happens" to get the dish on Runway from former contestants. Also, make sure to visit our Fall TV preview, to see what's worth watching this season.