So, Blayne's not kidding about this whole tanning thing. He apparently thinks it gives him strength. The designers go on a field trip to the Track and Field Armory, where they meet Olympian and star dancer Apolo Ohno. He presents the challenge to them -- they are to create a design for the Olympic Games opening night ceremony (women's wear).
It becomes very clear early on that Daniel is in trouble. He knows nothing about athletics and he hates uniforms from his boarding school days. Joe is getting very Michael Douglas from Falling Down. First, he gets pissed about Kenley and Daniel laughing in the workroom (to be fair, it seems like a lot of the designers kind of hate her laugh), then he freaks because Daniel uses his sewing machine. We're talking about a room full of empty sewing machines. Say what you will about every instrument being different, but it was still weird. Then, he makes some fucked-up remark about how much drama there is because of all of the "queens" around. Hmm. I'm fairly certain he wasn't including himself in that, which is weird.
Anyway, on the runway, a lot of interesting stuff is presented. Terri, Korto and Joe are chosen as the top designers. Terri's was beautiful American sportswear, and Korto and Joe were the sportiest of all of the designers. Jerell, Jennifer and Daniel were in the bottom. Jerell created the craziest, costumiest thing ever that almost made me love him. Jennifer was boring and dowdy per usual. Daniel was just clueless-- it was essentially a purple cocktail dress. He virtually melted down on the runway, which was pretty interesting to watch. Korto pulled out the win and was very happy. Jennifer got the boot.
See who the designers think are TV's Worst-Dressed, then read our take on the most controversial designers in the show's history Who's In, Who's Out!
Previously: The designers created designs inspired by New York landmarks. Kenley won the challenge with a really snappy design that was modern, yet had her whole pin-up girl aesthetic. Sweet Emily was sent home for her Slaves of New York coked-up 80's disaster. Things went like they should, except when Blayne threatened to eat Kenley. We also found out that Keith might be a little bit of a loose cannon. He's definitely socially awkward.
It's a new day. Everybody's getting ready. Korto says that she woke up and "my Emily" was gone, but it's a competition and life goes on and all that. She says that she doesn't want to go home so she has to "put [her] foot into" whatever the challenge is. I guess I understand what she's going for when she says that, but it sounds weird. Kenley says that winning a challenge and being understood by people who are important in fashion (like Sandra Bernhard) was really special to her. Also, having immunity is a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders.
In the boys' apartment, we see Rayon applying what may be moisturizer, but what I would like to believe is make-up. Because I'm making a list of things that I hate about him and that would fit in just fine.
At the runway, Heidi greets the designers while carrying the lovely black velvet button bag. Heidi's such a knockout. I forget sometimes. Leslie, Emily's model, and Shannone, Kenley's model, are brought out. Kenley decides to stay with Shannone. Godspeed, Leslie!
Heidi tells the designers that Tim is waiting to take them on a field trip, where they will learn about their challenge. Everyone looks appropriately fatigued at the prospect. These damn field trips. Jerell says that he doesn't have any idea where they are going, he only hopes that it has nothing to do with female wrestlers. We don't hear it, but you know that Stella feels the exact opposite in that regard.
Tim loads the designers into two vans and they are on their way. Joe interviews that there was a lot of speculation about where they might be going. When Korto sees that they are going to the Bronx, she says that this must be a hip-hop challenge. Rayon replies, "Yeah, Rayon loves that." This man must not have friends, because could you imagine dealing with that bullshit? Watching it on TV is bad enough-- try having dinner with it. Or going to the movies. "Rayon likes butter on Rayon's popcorn." No.
Kelli says that they pass a hospital and she gets really nervous because she doesn't want to design a nurse's uniform or scrubs. However, she says that she would design a good straitjacket. I like Kelli, but sometimes it seems like she's trying a little too hard. Right? Also, I think it would be totally rad if they designed nurse's uniforms. Imagine how hot Kenley's would be!
Tim makes the mistake of engaging with Blayne and asks him how often he tans. He says that, if he had his way, he would tan every other day. Tim points out what a huge time commitment that would be. Blayne says that his tanning is akin to other people going to the gym. or contributing to society. In his interview, he says with the most embarrassing intensity, "I just want to tan."
Finally, the designers arrive at The Armory-- the track and field center in the Bronx. Jennifer interviews that she's nervous because this seems like a very different challenge. Led by Tim, the designers walk across a running track. Rayon interviews, "Oh my gosh, this place is ginormous!" They watch someone speed-skating around the track. He stops and approaches them. It's Apolo Ohno! I really don't like his facial hair. Distracting and Rayon-like.
Apolo is going to present the challenge. He tells them that they want to see what the designers would create for the U.S. Olympic team to wear at the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics. Daniel interviews that he has never watched the opening ceremony before. His guess is that "someone holds a flame and runs around a track field." Tim says that, though there are of course men and women on the U.S. Olympic team, the designers will only be creating women's wear.
Tim asks Apolo to describe attending the opening ceremony of the Olympics. He says it's like the athletes' version of a catwalk. We see a shot of him from the opening ceremony that he attended. His outfit looks kind of weird to me. Is that a beret he's wearing? How American. It's more like a squashed toque hat, but it has enough of a beret feel to give pause. Apolo says that, in the ceremony, you are walking with honor because you are representing your country. It's dear to his heart. The designers look at him like he's speaking a completely foreign language. Tim says that this challenge is an opportunity for the designers to think about how they would present the image of the U.S. to the rest of the world. He points out that designers such as Giorgio Armani (for Italy) and Ralph Lauren (for the U.S.-- this year) have designed for the opening ceremony.
Blayne is all posey in his interview and says that the Olympics are humongous and that "thousands and millions and billions of people"... Attend? Watch at home? Who knows. He says that, hell yeah, he's going for the gold. Someone behind the scenes has to be making this as annoying as it is. Who's doing it? Why are they doing it? I don't want to know that Rayon's all in awe of the ginormous track or that Blayne is going for the gold. Stop asking them those questions.
Apolo says that The Armory is home to an Olympics museum, which will give them some hints about opening ceremonies in the past. The designers will have the museum totally to themselves. They will have some time to sketch-- then, on to Mood. Apolo will also be the guest judge. He wishes everyone luck, then he's out of there. Stella moans that she's really scared of this challenge and Joe says that it's right up his alley.
While they are looking around the museum, Joe interviews that he has watched the opening ceremony of the Olympics since he was 12. He thinks that this will be an opportunity for him to show his sportswear background. We see a shot of Daniel wandering around-- he asks if the picture he's looking at is of the opening ceremony. It's not. Terri interviews that she has seen a lot of Olympic games and she's thinking that her design will be "classic, Americana sportswear."
Tim points out to Stella a photo of a woman doing the high jump in a fur bandeau top and fur-trimmed black satin bottom. She says she knows what she'll do now. She interviews that she's a "true cave girl." She likes leathah and fur. She's thinking "bold, progressive, aerodynamic" like a gladiator. Jennifer is interested in re-interpreting an old satin tracksuit that she finds. Jerell says that he is drawn by one photo of the team in blazers and hats.
Tim asks Daniel how he's doing and he says that he is stumped. He interviews that he's into high-end glamour. This has nothing to do with that. The last statement is accompanied by an old photo of Victorian-age women in a foot race-- in corsets and floor-length dresses. Daniel says that he finds it all very confusing. Somebody needs to lower their dose of Adderall. It's not confusing, Daniel. It's sports. Joe says, "Let the fashion games begin," and they're off to Mood.
At Mood, Korto says that she's going for leather and linen. She's trying to be different from everyone else. She felt she was getting some weird looks about the leather she chose, but she says, "Worry about that plaid that you're picking up." Kenley, I think she was talking to you. Kenley says that she wants to stick with white and blue, because it's more tasteful to her.
Tim questions why Stella has chosen black. She asks him if she has done something bad and he says that he was just inquiring. That's not true though -- he looks totally disgusted. She explains that she is going to trim it with red, white, and blue. She interviews that she is a little nervous about the black stretch satin that she chose, but she couldn't help herself. "Black is cool."
There's a moment of tension because while Terri's back was turned, Keith took for himself some of the fabric that she had pulled. He tries to say that he has just been asking the attendant to pull fabrics and that's one of the ones he got, but she says she'd pulled that one herself. She interviews that "a sister gotta keep one eye open, that's all I'm saying." I love her. She's the best one, right?
Back at the workroom, everyone gets to it. Tim enters and tells them that the winner will have immunity in the challenge. He says he wants everyone to "pull the stops out." After he leaves, the group starts talking about their experience with sports. Stella remembers that she took modern dance. Leanne was a cheerleader and she says she's embarrassed to admit it. She qualifies it by saying that she had been a gymnast and a dancer. Joe played football and he's very proud to tell us. He interviews that his design will include a "skort"-- shorts in the front, skirt in the back. His two daughters play softball, so he wants to win this for them. Back to high school days, he says that everyone grew after freshman year (except for him) so he couldn't play football anymore after that. "Then, I started sewing!" Daniel facetiously replies that he has been in the same position. He interviews that he has nothing to do with sports. Also, he went to boarding school and thinks that uniforms make everyone look generic. So he's going to really knock this one out of the park. He's making a cocktail dress. For this challenge.
Blayne says that he is an Olympic athlete in tanning, and "it only goes to bronze medal." He interviews that he's getting paler and paler and "by the end of the season" he will be frail and white. Because tanning also makes you strong? Also, I'm hoping that "by the end of the season" we will have spent several months not seeing Blayne at all. Korto asks him how he felt when they passed a tanning booth that day and he replies that he teared up a little bit. Jerell interviews that Blayne is "becoming tanorexic." He says that his blonde highlights are the only things keeping him alive. He'd love to see him with bronzer. Tanorexic is when you can't stop tanning though, right? So, why would getting paler make you tanorexic? Get your shit together, Jerell.
With seven hours remaining, Terri (who I just realized is from Columbus, Ohio-- same as Kelli!) says that she's making a jacket, vest, and pants. She interviews that she's updating the past. Leanne interviews that she is shocked at the number of pieces Terri has created. She thinks there is a sweatshop under her worktable. That's funny.
Jennifer interviews that she wasn't sure whether to go with a sporty design or stick closer to her own girly aesthetic. She decides to go girly. Now, I understand that these guys need to impress people with their own style, but the people this season are playing it so safe. They need to stretch a little bit. Her design will consist of a skirt, a camisole, and a sweater jacket. Very gladiator.
Daniel asks Stella why she's making her garment all in black. Blayne answers for her that it's because "we're in a depression." Insightful-- it's like reading The Economist. Stella says it's because black is modern and space age. Are we still that impressed with space age stuff? She says that she doesn't want to make anything soft. She says in the workroom that if the judges say anything about her design looking like a biker outfit, she will say that there are a lot of bikers in this country who watch the Olympics. This gets a big laugh from the others. Leanne says she doesn't think that Stella's design has anything to do with the Olympics. Instead, it looks like something you would wear to a Goth nightclub. Why do the two things have to be so different, Leanne?
Keith says he always wanted to be part of the Olympics as a child-- he had been a competitive gymnast. He wants to design something playful, so he's matching silk and fleece. I don't know.
Daniel and Kenley are giggling and having a good time and Joe interviews that they have no consideration for other people. It must be pretty quiet in there most of the time. They show a lot of moments though where it looks like we're supposed to believe that everyone hates Kenley's laugh. It's not really that loud-- I'm not sure what the problem is. Maybe I'd hate it more if I were in the room with her. Korto does an imitation of Kenley's laugh in her interview-- the trailing quality of the laugh is identified as the part that's most annoying. Jerell also hates it and imitates it in his interview. He thinks that Kenley needs a muzzle. There are some haters in the house.
Korto is working on her design, which is all white. Jennifer advises against making it look too "nurse." Korto says that she's taking a chance. She interviews that she has been watching the Olympics for years and her eye is always drawn to the teams in white. She says that, to her, America is a place for second chances. She reminds us that she was born in Liberia, in West Africa. In 1990, there was a revolution in the country that required her family leaving or risking rape, torture, and murder. She says the pain of that experience is always with her, like an open wound. To her, America is this place where she has an opportunity to try for a goal that she has wanted since high school. She believes that this is her time.
With three hours remaining in the day, Tim enters. He talks to Joe about his design. Tim likes the skort idea. He also thinks that the idea is witty. He approaches Blayne, who is working on a blazer. He says that he didn't want to make a dress, but instead wanted to do something "literal." Tim doesn't know what he means. He means like athletic. Tim says it looks like Sgt. Pepper and Blayne doesn't know what he's talking about. Fuck that. Tim is flabbergasted and says, "Oh God, youth." Frankly, I don't mind having to have heard how stupid Blayne is in order to hear Tim say that. That's like child abuse though-- who doesn't tell their kid about The Beatles? He says something stupid about seeing Across the Universe but he's stupid and I don't want to listen to him anymore. And yet I must. He says that maybe he likes The Beatles "more progressive and into the now." Yeah, he said that. Then, they exchange some "Holla At Your Boys" and Tim leaves him.
Tim looks worried for Daniel. He goes through the ideas for the top of his design and says that he's worried about making his model look like Wonder Woman. Tim says that Olympians are wonder women. Tim says that he's seeing in Daniel what he has seen for the past two challenges-- he begins to unravel.
Jerell explains his design to Tim-- he wants to make a pencil skirt with horizontal stripes. Tim reminds Jerell that Olympians are often muscle-bound, and the stripes would make them look wider. Also, Jerell is working some voluminous scarf action at the neck and Tim says that it's looking very Lucy Ricardo (Blayne has only seen the TV movie with Frances Fisher and Sonny from General Hospital).
Tim seems confused that there's no red, white, or blue in Jennifer's design. He says that she was called matronly in the challenge and, from across the room, he found the jacket on her design...well, matronly. Ouch.
After Tim leaves, Daniel is still tossing around the idea of a bolero, in red. Kenley hates the idea and says it looks like Wonder Woman-- of course, Daniel doesn't tell her that Tim essentially just said that Wonder Woman is not a bad thing. He interviews that Kenley said the dress was beautiful by itself and didn't need the bolero.
In the sewing room, Daniel is at work. Joe comes in and says, "Daniel rethreaded my machine with red." To Daniel. Daniel's like, "Huh?" And, Joe repeats himself. Mind you, there are at least 15 unoccupied sewing machines in this room right now. This is weird to me and I don't get it. Daniel says that he didn't realize it was Joe's machine. When he had been there earlier, Kenley had been working on it. Joe's kind of not listening to anything and just says that Daniel should pay attention to where people are working. Joe interviews that he has worked at the same machine for the past three challenges, but Daniel is "so into Daniel" that he didn't notice. Now I think I get it. Daniel does seem a little self-involved. This is a personality thing, not about the sewing machine. Joe is defensive and insecure-- Daniel is entitled and oblivious. Bad combo. Joe tells Daniel to pay more attention and Daniel says that there's nothing to pay attention to-- someone had been working on the machine before (Kenley), so how was he to know that it was Joe's machine. Joe repeats that he needs to pay attention and calls him a chump as he leaves. OK, that's weird. Daniel interviews that Joe wants to take it to a "passive-aggressive, vindictive place." Vindictive, maybe. Passive-aggressive, no. He's being pretty aggressive, right?
Daniel is in the sewing room with Terri and Rayon and asks if Joe is psychotic. Rayon interviews that the drama is "whackadoodle." Someone just punch me in the fucking balls or something-- I can't fucking be upright and hear that guy say another goddamn thing like that. STOP HIM. SOMEONE. In the workroom, Korto says to Joe, "You just gotta say 'Wah.'" Now, it's clear to me watching this that Joe thinks she's commiserating with him. Because he says, "Wah, it's all about me, me, me." That's how he feels about Daniel. I think Korto is calling Joe the baby and he's just not getting it. Korto interviews that this is turning into high school and she's ready for college.
The morning, Jerell interviews that he is realizing that everyone is going to go home...except for him. Terri tells Stella that her outfit has the potential for greatness. Stella interviews that she wants immunity, but it gives you the chance to "fuck up and not get fired for it."
At the workroom, Kenley talks to Daniel about the color of his dress. It's essentially purple, not blue. Kenley interviews that she's worried about him. Tim enters and brings in the models. Joe interviews that he is confident that he will win the challenge. Jerell is hopeful too, even though he admits to having created "a whole lotta look." Blayne says that Jerell's design is the Titanic. "His heart will go on," a behoodied and ridiculous Blayne interviews. Terri is worried about Jennifer, because there is no red anywhere in her design. Korto noticed that most of the other designs were retro and she was glad to be "08."
There's a Saturn commercial with Laura Bennett! I love and miss her. Especially right now.
Heidi greets the designers and reintroduces Apolo. Then the show begins with Korto's design. It's a white pantsuit. The pants are wide-legged and super-fitted at the waist. There's a white camisole topped by a short-sleeved jacket with red leather patches on the shoulder and a blue leather collar. There is also a belt of red and blue leather. It's really sporty, fresh, and flattering. Korto is thrilled.
Rayon's work is . It's a halter white top, with a voluminous blue skirt with red and white stripes around the circumference. Not to cast aspersions, but...I can't imagine any shot putters doing much for this outfit. It's way too girly. He thinks it would be perfect for the Olympic team.
Here is Kelli's design. It's very 40's. It's a fitted blue skirt with white-lined pockets. Topping it is a short-sleeved red and white print blouse with a bow at the neck. Kelli says that she loves it, but is not sure that it's 100% relevant to the Olympics. Good point-- at least she's admitting it. It would be totally rad if the Olympic team were dressed like this, but it's never gonna happen. I think this retro thing happens when people aren't secure with their own interpretation of something. It's like making a joke when you're uncomfortable being serious.
Joe's design is . It's the skort topped by a zipped half-sleeve fitted jacket. It's very sporty, with red and blue racing stripes at various places. He says the he feels like his design stands out amongst all of the retro-inspired numbers, but I'd argue that there's a pretty heavy 20's influence going on. The letters "USA" line the front of the skort, which is pretty cool.
Here's Leanne's outfit. White shorts with a sleeveless white blouse. The blouse has a cowl neck with red and blue panels. There are also panels of blue under the arms. It's really beautifully made. The shorts in particular look pretty awesome to me. Still, I can't imagine an athlete wearing this.
Here's Daniel's dress. Disaster. It's purple, with red piping. A cocktail dress with a boat neck. It's not particularly well tailored either. There are red stripes and buttons down the front of the dress. Wrong. Daniel thinks it's classic and chic.
Here's Jerell's look. Holy Christ this is so amazing and so completely, fundamentally incorrect. It's that pencil skirt over black tights that end at the ankle (which alone would make some women not look very good). A short, cap sleeved blouse tops the skirt. She's also wearing like four scarves and a big floppy, polka dotted hat. Brilliant. Wrong.
Here's Stella's outfit. It's kind of like the black version of Korto's design. The pants are very fitted though. The jacket is short-sleeved and zips. There are panels of silver and red leather at the waist and the shoulders. Stella says that this would represent America.
Keith's design is and it's a long-waisted dress of white with a tiny bubble skirt of blue and white. The dress is sleeveless with a popped up collar and the model is wearing long red and blue scarves. I don't really like this. It's just sort of ugly to me. Keith likes it.
Here's Terri outfit. It's great. White slacks with red and blue racing stripes up the sides. A red white and blue fitted top and a blue pin-striped fitted blazer, with red buttons. It looks great. The lapel of the jacket is so incredibly sporty yet chic. I love it. Terri likes it and it looks like she won the fabric battle with Keith.
Jennifer's design is . Boring. A short green and white striped dress with a cropped half-sleeved bolero on top. It's blue. It's so boring-- for anyone. She thinks it represents America. I don't know how she came to that conclusion.
is Blayne. His top is white and one-shouldered and is paired with white slacks. There are red and blue racing stripes on the top. Blayne says that it's a modern take on an Olympic look and I have to agree that it does have a sort of Grecian feel to it, though modernized.
Kenley's design is . It's a high-waisted skirt of white and blue plaid coupled with a white satin blouse with a rounded collar. Not very Olympian. She thinks it's fashion forward and it represents her as a designer.
Afterwards, Rayon, Kelli, Leanne, Stella, Keith, Blayne, and Kenley are called forward. They're all safe. They leave the runway. The models return for the remaining designers. Terri is asked to explain her inspiration. She says that the Olympics have always been blazer heavy, so she wanted to work off of that. Putting a spin on it meant making it very American, which is what she felt that she did. Apolo loved the colors. Psst, she didn't really choose them, Apolo. Michael thinks it has a Lauren Hutton 1970's vibe. Nina likes the versatility of the outfit.
Jennifer explains that she was inspired by the 1930's tracksuit. Heidi says that she doesn't think it's modern or American. Apolo doesn't see any confidence in the design. Nina says that she thinks Jennifer can't separate her own aesthetic from the demands of the challenge.
Joe is asked about his design. He says that he wanted his design to reflect summer, Olympics, and USA. He feels like he managed that. Heidi asks him about the zipper on the jacket and where he got it. One side is blue and the other is red. Joe tells her that he made it himself. She thinks it's very clever. Apolo likes that Joe's outfit would showcase the physiques of the athletes. Nina is thankful that someone thought about including athletic details in this challenge. Michael doesn't think that the length of the skort works, but the idea is smart.
Daniel tries to put on a happy voice to explain that he was inspired by the 1940's. He wanted to modernize the look, so he went with vibrant colors. Apolo says that there is nothing athletic about the outfit. Nina doesn't think it's relevant at all. How would anyone even know that the team is American? Daniel says the striking red and blue-- Heidi asks where the blue is. That's hysterical. He says that the purple fabric is indeed blue and Nina says with a laugh that there's no way that damn dress is blue. And, I don't know if he did this to try to make the dress look less purple, but Daniel is wearing an actual purple t-shirt. Heidi asks him what color his t-shirt is and tells him that he and his model match. Daniel's sort of melting down right now and I find it fascinating. Apolo suggests that Daniel should have played around with the colors a little more and Daniel replies that he was going to make the jacket but it looked like Wonder Woman. Michael says that color is the least of his worries. He doesn't know where she's from-- he suggests she's from the Republic of Cocktail Land. Heh. Daniel is seriously falling apart.
Korto says that she wanted her outfit to be modern. Nina says it's very chic. Heidi says that the Americans would be proud. Apolo says that he was a big fan.
Jerell says that he tried to create a replica of 1920's sportswear. Apolo says it's unique and Jerell says that he's going to take that as a compliment because he doesn't think he's going to get another one. Apolo adds that it doesn't look athletic. Nina starts laughing and says that she's puzzled. Michael is hysterical. He thinks it looks uncomfortable. Heidi thinks it's really creative, but it's out there.
The judges talk. They feel like Korto nailed it. It was sporty and modern. Apolo liked the simplicity and stylishness of Terri's outfit. Nina liked that it was versatile. Nina says that Joe is the only one to make something literal.
Michael says that Jerell's design was a costume, though creative. Apolo thought that Jennifer's design was bland. Nina repeats her critique of Jennifer not being able to separate herself from the challenge. Michael says that if someone's sport is drinking, Daniel's outfit might work. Nina is perplexed that he didn't realize what a wrong track he was on.
The designers return to the stage. Joe is in. The winner is...Korto!! Terri is a great sport about it and looks very happy for her. Korto leaves the stage. She interviews that she feels so good and feels confirmed and "it's about freaking time." Terri is in.
Jerell is in. He looks relieved. Daniel looks like he's about to crack! I love it. Heidi says that Daniel made a sad cocktail dress and he shakes his head like he's going to cry and scream. She tells Jennifer that she's stuck in the past. Jennifer is...out. Daniel doesn't really offer much sympathy. Jennifer gets her kiss and leaves. She says that she doesn't feel like her garment was "stuck in the past" but she probably should have gone in a more sporty direction. She says that she worked hard and is not happy to be leaving. Tim ushers her out and says that she is incredibly talented. I feel kind of bad for her. The future's bright and she's keep on trying and so on.
Jeff Long's play FOR REASONS UNKNOWN opens this week!! Check out dates and times at www.forreasonsunknown.com.