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I hope that Project Runway accepts my insurance, because they just gave me medical treatment. And it worked. For real -- I feel so much better after laughing my ass off at the designers wearing ice-skating apparel. For reasons never explained, Robert Plotkin from Season 1 delivers ice-skating uniforms to each of the designers. They wear the get-ups with great humor to an ice-skating rink, where they meet skating phenom Sasha Cohen. They are asked to design a performing outfit for her.
Everyone gets along fairly well, including Santino. I guess he really did just hate Marla and Diana, because he's pretty congenial in this episode. There's some drama involving a sewing machine, and you'll be SHOCKED to hear that Andrae was the most dramatic. Zulema takes her first stroll to the winner's circle, since Sasha picks her design. Santino barely makes it through to the challenge (again), as Emmett is sent home for showing too much "tootie." Three cheers for the use of the word "tootie." Laughter is indeed the best medicine. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: The designers worked, in groups of two, to create a day-to-evening garment for Banana Republic. Zulema cracked the whip on her weepy teammate Kara. Andrae and Daniel were the winning team, while Diana and Marla crashed and burnt and were BOTH eliminated. That leaves eight designers!
We open on Chloe, who is packing her things at the Atlas apartments. Both of her roommates were eliminated, so she has to move in with Kara and Zulema. Wow. I'm starting to realize how quickly the competition is going. Only three women remain. Yeah, I've always been real good-like at math. As she's packing her bag, she says that she would rather have the apartment to herself. Yeah? Well, welcome to New York. We'd all like our own apartment. Granted, the reality TV show in which I star is entirely in my head -- maybe you're allowed to make more demands when it's actually broadcast. I'm going to have a chat with my producer, 'cause you never know unless you ask. Chloe also mutters semi-under-her-breathedly that she'll be fine because she has lived with people before. I'm assuming she's talking about just in her life in general -- considering she was living with other people, uh, yesterday.
Before she enters her new apartment, we see an interview with Chloe where she says that she doesn't think the designers will get more competitive because they already are very competitive. Kara welcomes Chloe to the apartment.
In the boys' apartment, something strange happens. Santino congratulates Andrae and Daniel for winning the last challenge. Unfortunately, there is no window view as he is saying this, so I am unable to tell you whether pigs were flying or not. Andrae interviews that, though he and Mr. V. both have "strong aesthetics," their winning design for Banana Republic was all teamwork.
At Parsons, here comes Heidi. Her maternity-wear has been so gorgeous. It's so elegant and flattering, yet sexy. Heidi tells the designers that they will not hear about their challenge until the following day. I expected Andrae to respond to the news like he was passing a kidney stone, but he remains oddly calm. Heidi continues, saying that the designers will each receive a "little package" that will have "all of the details" about the challenge. Hmm.
Now, it's model time. Since there were two winners and two losers from the challenge, there are twice as many models on stage; including Cara -- Marla's gimpy sourpuss of a model. Rebecca and Danyelle are Daniel and Andrae's models, so of course they don't change. Both of those girls are really pretty. It's kind of anticlimactic, because I've been so annoyed with Cara before that I wanted her elimination to be all fire and brimstone. But that would have required Marla winning a challenge, and there was a snowball's chance in fire and brimstone of that happening. So, this is it. Leslie and Cara are going home. Sayonara, girls!
Heidi tells them to get some rest, then she's gone.
At the boys' apartment, they are all trying to figure out what the challenge might be. I don't know why they're bothering, because they have been given absolutely no information. Nick wonders if they might be designing some sort of marketing costume for "those people that hand out things." Santino says that he would love to create a chicken suit.
In the girls' place, Zulema says that she thinks they will be designing for an airline. Kara just interviews that she doesn't know what the challenge will be. Thank you. Kara does this thing that I only notice in her interviews -- when she talks she kind of flairs her lips. It gives her the resemblance of someone who just had collagen injections, a la Goldie Hawn in First Wives' Club. Just throwing that out there.
The morning, we see a man in a postal service uniform delivering packages. He rings the doorbell of the boys' apartment. Andrae answers the door and we see that it's Robert Plotkin from the first season of Project Runway. Um, I'm a little worried about Robert in this setting. They might not let him out of there until he performs the striptease that his uniform suggests will occur. Then, here comes Santino, shirtless, and wrapped in a towel. I think I own this video. My concern was unnecessary, as everything goes smoothly. Robert introduces himself, then leaves to deliver packages to the rest of the contestants.
, he's ringing another doorbell. The footage of Emmett and Chloe answering their doors are spliced together. Chloe answers the door and immediately starts laughing. Zulema interviews that she was surprised to see Robert, but she "went with it." She introduces herself and Robert tells her that her name is beautiful. To Emmett, Robert says, "You don't recognize me, do you?" Emmett seems mildly panicked, because -- past the age of, like, I don't know, 20 -- "You don't recognize me, do you?" are words that can have incredibly mortifying connotations. Then, he says, "Oh, yes, Mario." Robert laughs and says, "No, Jay." Emmett doesn't flinch. He responds, "Jay. How are you?" Robert enters the apartment and says, "I'm actually Rob, by the way." Emmett responds, "Rob! Sorry." It's awesome.
People start opening their packages and are surprised by the contents. "Hysterical," says Kara. She interviews that inside the box was a suit made of "cheap velour fabric, bright colors…I had no idea what it was." It's this green and blue body suit. It's disgusting.
Nick has this hideous lavender shirt, by which he is clearly appalled. Santino reads a letter from Tim Gunn that is in each of the packages. The first part of the challenge is to wear the outfits in the packages, then meet downstairs in the lobby of the Atlas building. Everyone is screaming.
In the girls' apartment, we hear Chloe say, "This is not my color." Then, in an interview, she says that she thinks the challenge so far is a blast and "I don't know what it is, but, um, I have no problem dressing like a fool." Then, she laughs. I really like Chloe.
Okay, this part is kind of hard to describe, because, like, every second, something really funny is happening. Nick says his shirt looks like a ballroom dancing costume. Santino discovers that his shirt is actually a unitard. He interviews that he wasn't sure if his outfit was a waiter's uniform or a dance costume. We see Nick snapping shut the bottom of his unitard over the second pair of colorfully trimmed panties we've seen him wearing this season. Boy likes his drawers with flair.
Chloe and Kara dance together in their costumes. Nick is very unhappy with the unitard aspect of his costume. This has turned them all into children, and it's great. Daniel V. emerges from his perpetual silence to say, "I wonder what Emmett's going to look like." Everyone laughs, I'm assuming, because Emmett's so reserved.
In the lobby, the boys are fully dressed, and it's so funny. They are all giddy and laughing. It's the most fun I've ever seen them have. Andrae has this huge lime green shirt on, and Santino has a white shirt with, like, a Russian furry hat topping off his ensemble. They are all wearing black slacks in what appears to be a poly-blend. When Emmett joins the guys downstairs, Nick loses it. Emmett's top is skin-tight and hot pink. He's topped off his look with his white fedora. Even Emmett is laughing. Nick says in an interview, "Oh, my goodness, Emmett -- he was wearing a neon pink blouson top, without the v-neck. With a mock turtleneck. It was like International Male gone g-g-g-g-gay." Everyone hugs and laughs at one another.
The designers go outside to meet Tim Gunn. We see Zulema, who has complemented her pink suit with some dramatic gold eye shadow. Tim laughs at them and lies, "You look great!" He also remarks that Santino looks like Dr. Zhivago. To Emmett, he says, "Emmett, they made me do it." Emmett just shakes his head, as everyone continues laughing at him. Seriously, these guys are laughing so hard. It's really contagious.
Tim tells them to get into the vans they have provided, because they are going on a "field trip." Emmett interviews that he thinks they look like "the lost mariachis." As the van departs Parsons, we see a choppy New York montage, which includes a lone mannequin standing in the middle of a busy street. Holy crap, one of them has escaped. I always felt that something like this could happen. Santino says that he has stopped trying to figure out what the challenge will be or where they are going.
They arrive at Icehouse, an ice skating rink. Nick is instantly thrilled. He interviews that he went "triple crazy" when they arrived at the rink, because he realized that they would be designing ice-skating costumes. We're learning something about Nick. He apparently loves ice-skating. I mean, he's really really excited. As they enter onto the ice, with Tim leading the way, skating champion Sasha Cohen is spinning in the middle of the rink. They are so lucky that they happened upon her just as she was showing how good she was. Sometimes, when everything clicks, TV is magic. For real, though, I can just imagine a producer screaming, "Here they come! Tell the girl to spin! Ah, too late. Make them walk in again."
Nick interviews that when he saw Sasha on the ice, he "was literally speechless." Hmm. In this instance, "literally" and "anything but" mean the same thing. Nick gives us a non-stop commentary of "Wow. Bravo. Woo Hoo!" as he's watching Sasha. Tim introduces Sasha. Nick expresses his embarrassment at being dressed in his "tacky costume" as he is meeting Sasha.
Sasha, who is really adorable, tells the designers that their challenge is to design a skating dress for her. Nick, he…I think Nick is kind of crying right now. Baby's so happy. Tim asks Sasha what is most important to her in regards to designs she wears on the ice. She says that they need to stretch, there needs to be elastic securing the top and bottom, and they shouldn't be heavy enough to restrict her movement. After the designers kind of inspect the design that she is currently wearing, she tells them to put on their skates. She us going to give them a skating lesson. Shit, this thing keeps getting better and better.
Zulema says in an interview that she has only skated once before in her life. She looks so crazy right now with that eye make-up on. Guess who says the following: "I just died and went to heaven. I was just like, 'Oh, Lorrrrrd.'" Nick is really into ice-skating, it seems.
On the ice, a few of the designers struggle, but most seem to be at least stable on skates. Everyone but Tim. Tim can't even really get his skates to move. Emmett comments that both Tim and Kara are having problems. In order to help, Emmett holds hands with Tim and Kara (Daniel V. is on the other side of Kara) and tries to lead them. Sasha demonstrates a shoot-the-duck move where you squat and hold one leg extended in front of you as you skate. Everyone is impressed.
As we see footage of Santino falling down, we hear him say in an interview that he loves ice-skating. More of the interview shows him saying that there is a lot of competition in the workroom, but here it feels like they are all bonding and having a good time. I wouldn't have expected Santino to make that observation. More surprising, I wouldn't have expected Santino to appreciate that bonding. But he does, so who cares what I expect?
Sasha leads a choo-choo on the ice, which she says that she wants arranged from shortest to tallest. This is not a headline maker, but there are a few surprises. For instance, Zulema is taller than Daniel. I wouldn't have guessed. And, Tim is taller than everyone but Emmett and Santino. I don't know why that seems surprising to me. Okay, as their choo-choo is moving along, Daniel is holding onto Nick by the waistband of his pants, as Nick is trying to stay on his feet and keep his pants up at the same time. Santino, at the end of the train, accidentally (or not, I can't tell) pulls Emmett's pants down below his unitard. I don't know what it is about that moment, but I haven't laughed that hard in like a month. It's just fucking funny. They are all having such a good time.
At the end of the lesson, Sasha tells everyone that she is excited to see what they will design. Commercials.
Back at Parsons, Tim tells the designers (who are still wearing their ice-skating costumes) that they have thirty minutes to sketch their designs, and $150 for supplies. They will have that day and the day to finish their designs. In a discussion of his design idea, Daniel interviews that he doesn't want to put Sasha in anything too heavy, as she is very petite. Andrae says he wants to make her look like a "dark princess." Why? Because he doesn't like "smiley, happy." Also, he likes the idea of pretty yet "menacing." Chloe thinks that this challenge is difficult because of the different concerns that it's necessary to keep in mind while making the design.
When their half-hour designing time is finished, Tim enters and, with an uncharacteristically devious smile, tells them that they have to shop for their supplies while still dressed as ice skaters. Nick calls Tim "evil."
Shopping madness! God, I love to watch them shop. Zulema explains that she wants to create an "ice princess." "It's about this woman that goes from being ugly to this like beautiful swan." I don't know about you, but I'd take being an ugly human over being a bird any day. I don't care how beautiful a swan I was, I'd still prefer being a person. But that's just me.
Emmett says that he "thought about the midnight sky and the sparkling stars." Then he drops a bomb. He says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank." He adds that silver complements navy nicely, which may be true -- but there's nothing strong about the statement.
After shopping for fabric, they stop at Daytona to pick up trims. Daniel V. says in an interview that, versus the fifty dollars he spent on fabric, he spent ninety dollars on trims. Zulema is distressed because she has never worked with this kind of trim (sequins, beads, glitter, et cetera) before. We see Santino getting lots of feathers and plumes. Chloe, in an interview, says that Santino's style is "theatrical" and "ornate," which doesn't look good on everyone. With his choice of trim, I'm wondering if Santino is stuck on the chicken costume idea from earlier.
Back at Parsons, everyone gets to work. They are still in their skating costumes and I'm loving the world. Everyone is discussing how they're using stretch fabrics. Emmett interviews that this challenge is, for him, "a crash course...to work with stretch fabrics." Then, dear God, they play that clip of him again saying how he's a menswear designer. Like the last episode, this makes me eager to see the reunion show, where hopefully Emmett will explain that he didn't begin every conversation with a camera with a tale of his origins as a men's wear designer. In fact, from what we've seen of his personality, he seems like exactly the kind of person who would definitely not repeat the same thing over and over again. He reads as fairly economical in that way. He has, however, unsnapped the crotch of his unitard and has the flap hanging out of the front of his pants. I'm disappointed and disturbed. He shows his design and fabrics to Daniel, who says he can offer no advice because it would be "the blind leading the blind." Then, as he is walking away from Emmett's workspace, he makes a horrified face that only the camera sees, indicating that he thinks Emmett's shit is busted. Now, I wasn't going to say anything earlier, but this kid may have bit more of an attitude than we've seen. Remember when he said, "I wonder what Emmett looks like?" earlier in the apartment? I kind of thought that there was a hint of asshole in the statement. Now, I'm kind of sure. I'm not saying that he's not right to rag on Emmett, but it's still kind of jerky. He continues in an interview, saying that Emmett is "out of his league" and not developed enough as a designer and technician to create a women's wear line. We see Emmett asking Kara a question about the assembly of his garment. She proceeds to explain some stuff about sewing stretch fabrics.
Then Kara asks Nick a question about her garment. His response is, "I'm not teaching today." Fair enough. It's fun to notice every once in a while that they are still wearing their skating outfits. Lavender doesn't look that bad on Nick. Santino weighs in via interview that Kara is always asking too many questions of other designers. It's interesting how Santino always has so many opinions about the other designers. But then we see Nick actually helping Kara. Codependent much, Uncle Nick? As he is telling her to trust her instincts, we see Santino smirking at the action from across the room. The implication is that Nick is a sucker for helping.
In the sewing room, we see a shot of Santino's design partially pinned to his dress form. Chloe interviews with a chuckle that she doesn't "know what the hell he's doing." She and Nick are sitting beside each other at machines as she looks back at Santino's design. "Is that both sides?" Nick admonishes her with a "You need to stop," as Zulema chuckles in what looks like agreement with Chloe. It's kind of nice to see Santino have the piss taken out of him, even if he's not in the room. Chloe continues with her faux-concerned shtick: "Well, nobody asked my opinion." This gets a laugh from Nick. Small moment, yet satisfying.
Oh wait, they're not done yet. Nick interviews that, though Santino is talented and "has a great eye," his design for this challenge is "over the top." Zulema describes Santino's improv/additive style of building a garment, noting that the back of his design has "too much going on."
It's near the end of the day, and several people are in the sewing room. Emmett says that he never sews. I'm just going to take a flying leap and assume that it has something to do with him being a, uh, what is it? He's a…God, you know, just give me a moment, I know he's said it. He's. A…menswear designer!! That's it! Don't you hate it when there's something just buried in the back of your brain like that? Andrae talks to Kara about an overlock machine for a moment, then he explains in an interview what the hell he is talking about. Apparently, you need an overlock machine to sew stretch fabrics -- anything that needs to expand or contract. "Sewing [stretch fabrics] without an overlock machine is like sewing with one hand tied behind your back." Geez, that's serious. And considering that Andrae is always pretty tranquil and understated, it must be even more serious than that.
Zulema breaks something on the overlock machine and Andrae kind of swoons and does a Norma Desmond. "No you didn't," he says. "Off with her head!" Maybe, if fashion design doesn't work out, Andrae could move into the field of negotiating with, like, terrorists and shit. Andrae decides that he is going to properly thread the overlock machine, before even beginning his project. Or, there's Time Management Counselor. He'd really soar there, I think. Zulema comments that, though it was kind of Andrae to make the effort, she would have never done the same thing because she would have never finished her own garment. Of course, she is saying this while dressed in a pink skating suit with gold eye makeup slathered on her lids. It's hard to think that she's right.
Nick mocks Andrae: "Fake faux [sic] British accent: 'Oh, it's the end of the world. We cannot use the overlock.'" Andrae then enters the workroom and announces that he has fixed the overlock, so if anyone screws them up -- and, from what we've seen, these guys and sewing machines are like champagne bottles and ship christenings…okay, that was a little forced, but you get my point. They break them -- they will have to rethread them themselves. I'm thinking Andrae is kind of dumb for doing that until he interviews and says that he needs things to be perfect and that's why he fixed the machines, thus not giving himself enough time to work on his own project. I get the OCD thing, so I can understand. Commercials.
The morning, Andrae's still bitching about not having enough time. He says to Nick that, though he likes to help people, he won't do so at the expense of his own project. Okay, so that's exactly what he did do, but he clarifies in an interview that he won't be doing that again. In an effort to make that sound like some sort of battle cry, the editors follow Andrae's comments with Daniel interviewing that it's getting competitive. He hopes that the best designer wins. I really love his hair. I'm getting a Jane Fonda in Klute vibe that's very rewarding for me as a viewer.
Back at Parsons, everyone is busily working when Tim Gunn enters for a "Make It Work" Talk. He tells them that he has had technicians examine the sewing machines and, though they are working at some capacity, the designers may have to sew some stuff by hand. Where are they? You can't get properly functioning sewing equipment at freaking Parsons? Where can you get it, then?
Tim asks Emmett how he is doing. Tim doesn't seem impressed. He seems to think that the fabric is too dark.
"How is Zulema?" Tim asks Zulema. She describes what she will be doing with "sequin." This has been mentioned on the forums as an annoyance, and I agree. It's not "sheep," "deer," or "salmon." There's a plural form of the word, lady. Tim tells her that her design is ambitious and beautiful.
Andrae, while wearing those criminally short shorts that he loves so, explains his design to Tim as "Princess Cyclone." The Princess is clearly not in the same kingdom as the Earl of Close Your Legs When You're Wearing Shorts That Are That Short. It's a shame the Earl's not an ambassador.
After Kara describes her design to Tim, he expresses concern that her garment might be too boring. Daniel continues his streak of smack talk and interviews that Kara's design was basic "not in a Calvin Klein way; it was basic in a J. C. Penney way."
Santino quite cordially tells Tim that his inspiration is a "phoenix rising from the flames." This guy's so cutting edge, he can't even wait for the ashes. It needs to be Now, Now, Now! Santino's phoenix does not have time for the ashes -- it will rise from the flames. Tim delicately tells Santino that his design is "over the top." He suggests that, when confronted with that criticism on the runway, he counter with a tone more appropriate than "fuck you." In case anyone has forgotten, they remind us of Santino's go-to tone. Santino explains in an interview that his goal is to send down the runway the most unique, dramatic designs he can achieve. "It's a dramatic statement, and that looks like something." I guess he's kind of saying, in the words of my girl Julia Roberts -- and, unfortunately, it's my second Steel Magnolias reference of the season -- "I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special."
Everyone scurries to finish. At one point, we see Daniel howl like a werewolf with pleasure at his design. Santino sings another song: "Tim Gunn! Tim Gunn! If he calls your name you're gone!" His songwriting is really improving -- at the expense, I'm afraid, of his designing. Nick, while a terrific designer, is no match for Santino as a songsmith. His contribution goes a little something like, "Ta-ta-da-da-da." Accompanying the song is Kara with some weak choreography. I think these guys need some sleep.
Then Kara gets on the overlock machine. She breaks the needle. And Andrae is right there. "This is so, like, inordinately dreadful!" Now, there are your faux British accents, and then there's your faking a British accent. Andrae has imagined himself into a production of 'Tis Pity She's A Whore. The appearance of Dame Judi Dench can't be far away. Kara tells everyone that she was doing anything "out of the ordinary," but everyone seems kind of pissed at her. Zulema interviews that everyone's designs are "teetering on those machines." She kind of passively-aggressively sighs near Kara and says, "I'm so grief-stricken right now." Chloe thinks that it's the machines, rather than human error. Andrae shrieks, "No! It's not the machine's fault! The person who touches it is the variable." Okay, practical little chestnut at the end, but it's surrounded by such gnashing of teeth. He's a handful, this guy.
With a broken overlock, the designers are going to have to sew a lot of stuff by hand. Zulema comments that there may be broken seams on the runway the day. Santino's advice is for people to "glue it." I hope that he's kidding.
Andrae hates his garment, which he calls "bad Valley of the Dolls." It's a little campy, for sure. Emmett tells Chloe that he is going to hand-tack the skirt of his design and "call it a day." Chloe responds, "Not like that. That's ugly."
With one hour remaining in the workday, we see an interview with Nick where he says that he is interested to see what Santino is going to do, because his design currently "looks crazy." Then we see Santino and Nick in the sewing room. "I don't know what the fuck this is going to be," says Santino. This gets a laugh from Nick. An even bigger laugh, perhaps a guffaw, is gotten when Santino expands his repertoire of impersonations to include Michael Kors. "She looks like, like a baboon's ass exploded on her backside!" Holy shit, that's funny. "Okay, Michael, what else," he answers himself. Nick interviews that he has told Santino that he needs to be able to defend his design on the runway, because it appears as if Santino has once again forgotten to consider the client in his design.
That night, at the apartment, Daniel remarks that they are only halfway through the competition. If they all (Andrae, Daniel, Nick, and Santino) make it through this challenge, he thinks they will all be "in pretty good shape." Interesting theory, I guess. Santino replies, as he is sprawled on a bed with Andrae, "Or do you think mine is fucked up?" Crickets. No one answers.
The morning, we hear an interview with Kara. Apparently, they have all decided to wear their skating outfits (the ones that they wore before) to the runway show. They think it will alleviate some of the seriousness of the runway show. Sure, but imagine getting eliminated while wearing one of those ridiculous get-ups. Talk about adding insult to injury.
Here's a moment that's a little confusing for me. As Chloe is grooming herself, she says to no one that we see, "You must do it naturally. Can I have the Tresemme hair spray?" I'm assuming that she is joking about product placement on the show, but it's so out of nowhere. Like, no one was talking about hairspray, or doing anything naturally. I'm not going to lose sleep over it or anything, it's just…no, I may lose a little sleep.
In the boys' apartment, Santino is play-acting. "You will ask me nothing!" he screams. He should totally play King Lear when he's like seventy. I'm assuming he's mocking the judges of the runway show. Andrae tells him that he's "become the designer that it's fun to fuck with." Santino responds that, when he is on the runway, his adrenaline starts pumping and makes him feel like he's "ready to get into a fistfight." Another parallel of fashion with death. Heavy. He goes further and says, "I can talk my way out of a situation or I can eat them. And, if it comes down to having to eat somebody, I'll eat somebody." Jesus H, Santino! This isn't The Lord of the Flies.
At Parsons, they all get to work. Chloe thinks that her design looks "Christmassy." Finally, Tim comes in and tells everyone that they have one hour for hair, makeup, and fittings.
When the models enter, it appears that the designers are having to spend a little more time than usual explaining their designs to the models. Zulema's garment looks pretty good. She interviews that she is happy with her design because she has never worked with "sequin" before. Why does that annoy me so damn much?
Finally, Tim enters to tell everyone that they will have one hour for hair, makeup, and fittings. The designers continue explaining their designs to their models. As Santino is fitting his model, Heather, she remarks that the design is giving her a wedgie. "Why did you give us a wedgie?" Funny. He is still building the thing, even after she is wearing it. "It's like fire," he justifies. Heather remarks that there is a lot going on with the garment, but he won't listen. In fact, in his interview, he says, "Pretend to like it." But he knows he's going to have to defend it. And here's his chance: Tim Gunn summons them all to the runway.
Heidi greets the "eight little ice-skaters" on the runway. She introduces the judges -- Michael Kors, Anne Slowey, and Sasha Cohen. Heidi mentions that Sasha has agreed to wear the winning design in an upcoming competition. The show begins.
It's Daniel's garment first. My first thought is that it's going to be hard to imagine these on actual ice skaters. They are usually shorter than runway models. Daniel's is a pretty burgundy suit, with asymmetrical beading all over the bodice. It has a halter-styled top and a short skirt that extends to a v-shape in the front and back. The fabric seems too satin-y. I don't imagine that it could sustain the movement involved in figure skating. And if she had a partner? It's just too delicate a fabric. It looks more like a swimsuit. Daniel interviews that his model, Rebecca, looked beautiful coming down the runway. She does have some killer gams.
up is Zulema's design. Her model, Rachael, does a balletic sort of stretch behind the screen before she comes out. It's a pretty garment. It's white, with lace exposing much of her bodice. Sequins cover the important parts of the bust, leaving exposed the entire décolletage and a diamond-shaped section of her belly. I would assume that, in performance, this design would be lined with flesh-colored fabric. The skirt is high on the thighs and falls lower in the front and back. The back is almost completely bare (save the lace covering it). Zulema likes that Rachael looks naked. She seems happy with the design.
we have Eden, wearing Kara's design. She does a little one arm over her head pose behind the screen. It looks like she's sniffing her armpit. It's a one-shouldered design, in black. The sleeve on the side with the strap goes all the way to the model's wrist. From the shoulder, the sleeve is translucent lace. There are black sequins all over the design. The skirt is completely fringed. I'm not liking it very much; however, it does remind me of Chita Rivera in Pippin. That's a good thing. Kara thinks it looks great and has "razzle-dazzle."
Here is Emmett's design. It looks like a leotard. It's navy, with sparkly stripes all along it. At the neck and over most of the back, he has black lace with more of the silver sparkly stripes. They remind me of Chekhov. That is definitely not a good thing, unless you're mounting Uncle Vanya on Ice, which is actually an even worse thing. The skirt is almost nonexistent. It's like a suggestion of a skirt, a sign to "Place Skirt Here." Emmett likes it.
Andrae's design follows. Danyelle does this weird toy soldier in The Nutcracker pose before entering. She is wearing a black mask over her eyes. The design is one-shouldered and black. There is asymmetrical pleating and shredding all over. There's a black plume of some sort on the shoulder. The skirt is different layers. The main interest of the skirt is on the opposite hip from the shoulder with the strap, giving a nice proportion to the design. Andrea says that he feels that he has done something "clever."
Here's Santino's design. This has got to be a joke. For real. It's so heavy that it looks like Heather is wearing an empathy belly. There are strips of feather criss-crossing her chest. The skirt is made of shredded red fabric. There so much shit on the back -- it's a bustle. She's a bustled ice-skater. It almost looks like somebody placed a magnificent "Kick Me" sign on her backside. Santino notes that it's a great concept that would've been improved with more time to work on it. Jesus, if he'd had any more time, she'd be a Fraggle.
Nick's design is . It's a lovely white number with lots of sparklies. There is bunching over the bust and the shoulders are asymmetrical. There are several panels of different fabrics in the skirt. It's a little boring. The back is the most interesting part, with panels of lace mixed with fabric panels. Nick interviews that he feels good about his design.
Here is Chloe's design. It's nice. It's a blue multi-tiered dress. It's shaped like a column, without the bodice/skirt separation. The bodice comes to an inverted v-shape at the neck and is attached to flesh-covered lace that covers the rest of the bodice and the back. Grace, her model, looks lovely.
That's the last one. The judges tabulate. Santino looks nervous. Heidi calls everyone onstage. Then she calls Nick, Daniel, and Andrae; they are all safe and can leave the runway.
The models of the remaining designers return to the stage. Sasha tells Chloe that the color she chose is pretty. As well, she notes the unique shape of the design (without the bodice/skirt separation). She thinks it is interesting, but she isn't sure if it would work for her "straight" figure. Chloe replies that she considered that, so there are different-shaped layers in the tiers, creating the illusion of a shape. Michael commends her for making something feminine, different, and colorful.
Anne asks Kara about her concept. She says it's "1920s. All That Jazz." Hmm, also originally sung by one Chita Rivera. I'm starting to like this. Anne thinks that the fringe would be unflattering to an ice-skater's thighs. Michael thinks that it's "Las Vegas." He recognizes the Bob Fosse influence, but he doesn't think it would be right for Sasha.
Sasha tells Emmett that she's not "too keen" on the shortness of the skirt. Anne is really bothered by the skirt. With not a smile in sight of the runway, she says, "There's entirely too much tootie being exposed." She thinks it's vulgar. Hello, judges?! Hello, designers?! Models? Anyone? She just said "tootie"! That's so fucking funny. Why won't anyone laugh? Emmett says that there was less tootie showing on the dress form that he used. His model, apparently, just has an extra-large, protruding tootie. Oh my God, I'm dying. "Tootie" is my favorite word ever. Poor Emmett. He seems really disturbed that his design is considered vulgar. Heidi thinks it's boring. Michael says it's like an "old lady ice-skater." Tootie!
Sasha likes Zulema's design. She thinks that the color is nice. Michael thinks it is "sexy without being vulgar."
Sasha says to Santino that she likes the ruching on the bodice (which you can hardly see for all the freaking feathers). Santino tells them that he was trying to be conceptual. Anne likes the bodice. She even likes the feathers. She says that the back looks like "Carmen Miranda on acid." This gets a big laugh from Kara, which is pretty poor form, especially since she was all sad sack when they were criticizing her just moments ago. ["Plus, don't encourage Anne. Hate!" -- Sars] Santino replies, saying that he took some "risks" and is happy with the result. Heidi says that it is "beyond not flattering." Michael Kors thinks that it looks like a turkey costume. See! He never got the chicken costume idea out of his head! Michael continues, acknowledging that Santino has a lot of ideas, but questioning whether he ever thinks about "the woman involved or the project at hand." The designers leave the runway.
The judges confer. They all mention Chloe's design as a highlight. Sasha doesn't think Kara's design was special. She likes Zulema's design. She thinks it's elegant. Emmett's lacks creativity -- they all agree. Anne adds that the design was "dowdy, it looked very vulgar." Hmm? Michael points out that it's hard to be vulgar and dowdy. I'd wager to say it's impossible. Sasha says that Santino's design would never work on an ice skating rink because of the "storage backpack" attached to it. Heidi says she is ready to say "auf wiedersehen" to Santino. Michael says that Santino never listens. Anne says he is "all expression, no editing." That's a pretty good assessment. Better, at least, than the "tooties are vulgar" line.
The designers return to the runway. Kara is "in." Sasha tells Zulema that she has chosen her design. Zulema thanks everyone and leaves the stage. She interviews that she is glad she won, but she needs to keep her eyes on the "final three." She is so full of shit sometimes. Chloe is "in."
Heidi tells Santino that he was over the top, "yet again." She tells Emmett that his design was boring and "stale." Santino is "in." As he walks backstage, he turns back and says, "Emmett, I'm sorry." I don't know if that was earnest, but if it was, it was a nice thing to say. Emmett gets his "auf wiedersehen" and walks backstage. But before he goes, he turns back and says, "Was it the shirt?" Fucking bravo, good sport! All of the judges laugh. He hugs everyone backstage and wishes them all "good luck."
Emmett interviews that he is trying to define himself creatively. He believes that if you "put action behind" your dreams, along with tenacity, you can make yourself happy. That's a really nice sentiment. Thank God he changes before he cleans his workstation, so his last moments on the show are in a respectable black shirt.