By Jeff Long
What a show! This one was packed with drama. The challenge seemed simple enough: The designers have to design a line of lingerie with three looks. Heidi, in her most showcasing moment on the series thus far, interviews the designers and chooses four of them to be team leaders.
Santino, while clearly an extremely talented designer, fully exposes himself as the jerkiest guy on the show. He's not content to throw tantrums and scream at the judges. He also finds it necessary to rag on the most docile of the designers.
Every single team appears to be in peril as they approach the runway show. Tim Gunn backed me up on that one. In the end, Daniel Vosovic finally speaks. He also wins the challenge. Daniel Franco, in a huge display of integrity, puts himself on the chopping block for the loss of his team. The team dissolves into tears. Mr. Franco follows his bliss right out of Parsons.
Previously: The challenge was to create a design for a fashion icon, Barbie. Marla's deficits as a fashion technician came to light. Lupe and Kara had an aimless argument. Daniel Franco was almost unable to finish his design before the runway show. Raymundo's design was deemed unoriginal, for it resembled the pre-existing regional bestseller Barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie, and he was eliminated. Nick's Barbie design won the challenge. After the snipping, twelve designers are left!
Morning at the Atlas apartments. Nick interviews that he is very excited about having won the Barbie challenge. We see Santino lounging in bed as he tells Nick that he lost the challenge because he helped Nick. Then we see a small clip of Santino speaking to Nick and pointing at his design. Santino interviews that he will "think twice" about helping Nick again, because he is unhappy that he did not win the challenge. Back in bed, we see Santino say, "Second place is not fucking good enough." Actually, Santino, until the final week, second place is great. In fact, more this season than last, winning doesn't seem to matter that much. There is no immunity from elimination for winners of challenges. So, not a lot is gained from winning a challenge, unless you're having a huge problem with your model and want to trade her, or you're dying to have your face on a Barbie box…and I think we've found our answer. Santino quite possibly was dying to have his face on a Barbie box. This is the second week in a row, though, that he has thrown a little tantrum over not winning the challenge. I'm guessing that "likable" is not a goal of Santino's. You can't blame the guy for wanting to win, but it's so ugly when he acts like this.
Diana says that she is excited to receive the challenge that day, because it's "kind of like I'm living in a book." I think I just heard my heart breaking. That's one of the dorkiest, sweetest, most earnest things I've heard said on this show. It's probably not that big of a deal, but it really endears me to her. Most likely, Diana will not be the winner of Project Runway, but right now, I think I wish that she would be.
Heidi greets them on the runway at Parsons. Heidi tells them that the challenge is something about which she knows a lot. Maternity clothes? No, lingerie. There's a polite "ooh" from the audience, and Kara shakes her fists like pom-poms. It's model-choosing time. Tarah and Allison are the girls on the runway. Nick sticks with Tarah, and Allison goes home. Goodbye, good sport Allison! She was a little commercial, but I really liked Allison.
Heidi greets them on the runway at Parsons. Heidi tells them that the challenge is something about which she knows a lot. Maternity clothes? No, lingerie. There's a polite "ooh" from the audience, and Kara shakes her fists like pom-poms. It's model-choosing time. Tarah and Allison are the girls on the runway. Nick sticks with Tarah, and Allison goes home. Goodbye, good sport Allison! She was a little commercial, but I really liked Allison.
Heidi explains that the designers will have thirty minutes to sketch ideas for a lingerie line with three looks. The designers will then pitch their lines to Heidi, and she will choose four team leaders. The leaders will pick teams of three from the remaining designers, and the teams will work on completing the lines based on the ideas of the team leaders. I'm going to give credit where credit is due -- Heidi has been working. The instructions that she is giving are apparently un-looped, so either she nailed it on the runway or she made a really natural recording. It sounds live, though. It seems like a small thing, but it's so much better like this. I think the issue is that, no matter how small they are, any false moments in the show add up. It's a competition, but the format is still documentary television; and the more you feel the hand of the documentarian, the less effective the work is.
The designers sketch their designs. Nick interviews about Heidi's copious qualifications for judging lingerie, including "that hot body of hers." Daniel Franco interviews that he wanted to do more than a mere sketch, he wanted to make an "impression." Words, Daniel. Just get on with it. Tim Gunn stops the designers when their thirty minutes are finished and starts sending them to interview with Heidi.
Daniel Vosovic is first. His idea is "menswear on women." His inspiration is the idea of an ex-girlfriend taking revenge on an ex-boyfriend and turning his clothes into lingerie. Heidi listens respectfully, sporting some really great posture. Lupe says "superheroes" inspire her. She wants to make underwear with "pow" and "kapow." You're about twenty-five years late, Lupe. They're called Underoos. I had Aqua Man. Andrae floridly describes for Heidi his idea. "Tie. Me. Up. Tie. Me…" Heidi finishes for him, "Down?" She's right. The sketches don't look that extraordinary (straight panties and bras) and his theme evokes something a lot racier.
Chloe's idea is a slip dress that can be worn to bed but also can be worn out with jeans as a top. Clever because it's multi-purpose, but you're too late too. The whole slip-with-the-jeans thing is so over-saturated. It's like the Uggs of 2005. Joining the slip top would be, for men, the untucked striped oxford shirt. People, stop laying them. It's up to us to stop them. Santino tells Heidi that his lingerie line is inspired by her. Looking at his sketches, she asks, "Does she have 'Auf Wiedersehen' on her butt?" She does. As well, "Guten Tag" would be on the front. Heidi laughs. Santino says "Auf Wiedersehen" when he gets up to leave and Heidi replies, "I'm not going to say that to you yet." There's something really funny about that, like Heidi is all, "If I say 'Auf Wiedersehen,' it's over for you." I wonder if that's how she fires people now. She says "Auf Wiedersehen" and just expects them to pack their things and get the hell out. Also, can you imagine believing that you'd trademarked "goodbye"? I'm not sure whether to be shocked at the audacity of Heidi and the other producers, or sad that a lot of viewers probably do exclusively think of Heidi Klum when they hear the farewell of every German-speaking person.
Zulema explains that she wants to make negligees in "various proportions." She continues, telling Heidi that she likes to work in a "short proportion," to which Heidi responds, "We know that." Laughs. They show a clip of the offending garment. It gets more hideous every time I see it. Heidi reminds Zulema that, in this situation, it's appropriate to make the designs short "in the booty area." Kara explains that her collection is titled "Boudoir Babes." That's kind of boring. The editors agree, because, aside from a quick shot of her sketch (corset-y tops and panties), that's all we see of hers. The same goes for Nick, whose theme was "Asiana Nights." The quick shot we see of his sketch includes a robe and crazy headpiece thing. Marla and her "Sweetie Pie" theme are also quickly shuffled off. The sketch we see is of what is indeed a sweet nightgown. Emmett's theme is "Heidi's Hollywood Honeymoon" and, though it gets a giggle out of Heidi, we only see Emmett's lovely handwriting of the theme -- no sketches.
Diana presents her theme to Heidi. It's "Goddess." We see a sketch of a very strap-y, severe body suit. Interwoven with the straps is a swath of flowing fabric. I can see the goddess thing, and knowing Diana, she's probably coming from a very clinical studied mythological point-of-view. She tells Heidi that it's supposed to be flowing as she walks, "as if a lot of wind is blowing." Heidi dead-seriously tells Diana, "So you have to request a wind machine then." Looks like somebody really likes wind machines. Diana just kind of laughs, slightly frightened by Heidi's urgency. Also, she's probably thinking, "Lady, I'm in no position to request anything around here. They hardly give us bathroom breaks."
Daniel Franco wants to create romantic lingerie for the untapped markets of fiancées and newlyweds. Why hasn't anyone thought of that? For too long, newlyweds and the newly engaged have been wandering around, having to get their hump on straight from pajamas or street clothes. It's about time someone thought of them. This could revolutionize the institution of marriage. That is, unless the gays haven't already destroyed it. Daniel continues that he is more interested in making lingerie for "love-making" as opposed to something "trashy." Heidi's interest is piqued and she repeats, "Love-making." I don't know whether she's embarrassed or turned on. Then, Daniel smiles and says, "I thought of you a little bit." Heidi, with her perfect posture, towers over Daniel even as they are sitting. She smiles (which is effected by production with a triangle "ding") and stares at him. Daniel stares a squinty stare back at her and says far too sincerely, "I'd love to show you something beautiful." She stares, smiling and unmoving, for a few more seconds. Then, she turns and gives a brilliant smile to the camera as Franco keeps staring at her. Freaking great moment. I guess there are too options for what was just happening. Maybe Heidi was being sucked in by Daniel's flirting. That wasn't my impression. To me, it looked like she thought he was a creep. Having seen more of him, it's clear that Daniel is a nice guy, but communicating his actual intentions seems to be a problem for him. He's not really flirting with a incredibly pregnant married woman, is he? He probably just wants to come off as soulful, but I'm getting more of a Gary Busey vibe.
Back at the Workroom, Heidi chooses the team leaders. The first is Daniel V. Heidi says that she thinks his theme will translate well to the runway, as it is a "scene." They post the theme of Daniel's line, "Revenge." She also chose Daniel F.'s line, which is entitled "Love Making." She says he explained his line beautifully, and Daniel interviews that you can't go wrong with "love-making." Maybe this is a problem I have, but I just can't stand the phrase "love-making." I want to shiver. Even more, I hate it when people make that stupid distinction between "making love" and "insert sexual euphemism that isn't 'making love.'" In the end, after all of Daniel F.'s frilly garments have been removed, it all looks the same. I wish people would stop acting like they do it sweeter than other people. Okay, that was completely unnecessary but I couldn't move on. Heidi chooses Diana as the third team leader. Heidi thinks her idea is sexy, flirty, but powerful. That's a fairly astute editorial opinion from Heidi. I wonder if she (and I'm not saying she did) had help with it. Santino is also chosen. He says, "Wow." I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. I think it's more of an instance of him feigning surprise. The title of his line is "Heidi's Homeland." Heidi says she liked the "lederhosen thing." She thinks it has a "sexy twist" that she is anxious to see on the runway. Santino interviews that he is a "great communicator" and is "focused" and "know[s] where [he's] going." A great communicator? He certainly communicates everything that he feels, but I'm not sure that is the only requirement of a great communicator. Shouldn't you be empathetic and have the ability to keep a cool head about yourself? Santino doesn't seem to have either of those attributes. Empathy is actually one of former Defense Secretary McNamara's rules for winning a war, so maybe it isn't even necessary in order to be considered a great communicator. I'm finding myself moving to an area of dislike for Santino. It's difficult, because I think he is a talented designer. He acts like such a jerk, though. Chloe interviews that she is glad that she is not a team leader because being the leader would be too much pressure.
Tim leads the team leaders in the choosing of teams. He pulls names out of the velvet button bag, or "the magic bag," as Tim calls it. Daniel V. gets to choose first, and his choice is Andrae. Andrae seems as surprised as the viewing audience is at this. , Daniel F. gets to choose. He says that he needs someone "who is not afraid of complex garment construction," so he chooses Chloe. Santino's turn is and he chooses Nick. These two troublemakers definitely seem to be the closest friendship developed so far, even considering Santino's earlier declaration of regret in helping Nick. Diana chooses Lupe. Then Daniel V. chooses Zulema. Daniel F. chooses Kara. Zulema interviews that Emmett and Marla are the last to be chosen because they can't make patterns or sew. But I thought Marla just couldn't drape? If she can't drape, she has to be able to make patterns -- otherwise, how the hell is she going to make a design? Some would argue that that is exactly the problem. I'm guessing, though, that Zulema meant that Marla can't sew that well and that Emmett is not a pattern maker. However, Emmett's sewing abilities haven't been highlighted (for good or for bad) so I can't be entirely sure. Santino finally says, "Emmett, come on down, dawg." Then, he high-fives poor Emmett, who seems uncomfortable with that sort of greeting. Diana then chooses Marla. Marla interviews that, since she barely made it through the last challenge, she is not surprised that she was chosen last.
Before they shop for supplies, Tim tells the groups to meet and "make it work." We see Zulema pushing their team to simplify their designs. We see Santino explaining his designs to Nick and Emmett. Emmett questions if one piece will resemble "Cher gauze," which gets a "Dude, it won't" from Santino. Emmett interviews that, since Santino is a very "hands-on designer," he is interested to see how Santino will delegate duties to his team. My guess would be with a snarly attitude and something nasty said behind your back.
Diana explains her designs to her team. She finishes a statement about how a design will be bias-cut in order to fit the model's "butt." She sounds like she thinks "butt" is a dirty word. Then it cuts back to Santino, who we see pointing at Diana's team and saying, "I think the three of them are so fucking lame. They haven't had sex in their life." Thank God Emmett responds with, "Well, neither have you." Because, really, fucking cut it out, dude. Why is he so nasty? So what? They're lame! Leave them alone! Does Diana regale you with the adventures of her high school academic decathlon or chess team? I doubt it. So, she's a fucking geek. She knows it. Don't be such an asshole. And Marla's got a kid. Fine, Lupe's a freak, but she's harmless. I'm ready now for someone to put this guy in his place. It seems like the only person who could really do it is Nick, though, and since they're friends…maybe Zulema. I'd totally forgive the "I tried to be a seamstress when I was five but I was too poor" bullshit if she gave Santino a proper tongue-lashing. The editors then show Diana giggling and saying, "Oh, I did it with a purple pen again." All right, we get it. She's a dork.
When Daniel F. is describing his designs for Chloe and Kara, Chloe is pressuring him to simplify his ideas. Chloe interviews that Daniel is a "true artist," but that his designs are too ambitious for the amount of time in which they have to finish them. Chloe gets hardcore and starts scolding Daniel for not listening to her. For his part, he giggles a little when she does that, which makes him look like a good sport. The problem was that he was thinking so much, he wouldn't be able to answer the questions that Chloe or Kara had about the construction of his designs. At one point, Chloe says, "You're not listening to me. That's gonna be a problem." Commercials.
Each team has $200 to use for supplies at Mood. Daniel Franco interviews that each of them has a specific job to accomplish, but we see him searching for duchess satin when Kara had already gotten it. Daniel V. and Zulema disagree over what is more important, color or fabric. D.V. is in the fabric camp, while Zulema belongs to Club Color.
Lupe moves a bright printed fabric in front of Diana and asks her "how it makes [her] feel?" I love it that Diana actually thinks about how she "feels" instead of saying it's pretty or ugly. "I don't know. It makes me feel African." Tim is looking on. It doesn't look like he likes the fabric. Lupe interviews that she is hoping working within someone else's vision will help her learn to compromise.
We see Nick pooh-poohing a fabric as "a little disco." Then we hear him interview that Emmett is in charge of shopping. He also mentions that Santino is micro-managing the group. The groups are rushing around. Chloe and Kara are pushing Daniel F. to hurry. As everyone is leaving the store, Santino realizes that he doesn't have his sketches. Nick interviews that Santino found them just lying on the floor in the back of the store. After the sketches have been retrieved, we hear Nick say, "Out of chaos comes beauty."
At Parsons, everyone starts working. Daniel says in an interview, "The concept is, like, really beautiful, romantic lingerie. People wear lingerie, it's because they're, like to, about, you know, get some action or something. At least I'm hoping. For them." We see Kara being really stern to Daniel and telling him that she will have to see if she is able to complete something as he has requested. Kara finds it necessary to drop some heavy dance science on us and interviews that she and Chloe knew it was important to keep Daniel "on step and on toe and on point."
Zulema says in an interview that Daniel V.'s leadership style is very relaxed and he enjoys input from others. Santino, bent over a drafting table, says, "This is for you, Heidi Klum." Then, we see an interview where he says that his theme was "Heidi Klum meets Sound of Music." We see him talking to Emmett seriously, concluding with, "Okay? You know what I'm saying?" We then hear more of Santino's interview where he says that he did not know until after choosing Emmett for his team that Emmett could neither sew nor make patterns. Guess that answers my earlier question about Emmett and Marla. Emmett more diplomatically interviews that he and Santino come from very different backgrounds. In menswear, he doesn't have to use "tubular stretch fabrics." Nick whispers to Emmett at one point that the design is going to be "campy, with a capital C." To which Emmett responds, "Don't fire the sewer." ["The dry delivery of that totally endeared Emmett to me. I don't think he's long for this world, show-wise, but I like him." -- Sars]
Diana interviews that her designs are "reminiscent of bondage" with "flowing chiffons" on top. Diana is explaining one design to Lupe. Lupe, quite rightly, seems confused because the design intends that there will be chiffon hanging between the model's legs. Like a tail or something. It sounds gross. Lupe tells Diana that "[she doesn't] get it." Lupe says in an interview, very nicely, that Diana is young and her ideas can be a bit "conceptual."
We see more of Daniel F. arguing with Chloe and Kara. Wow, they really are getting frustrated with him. Daniel interviews that he's not trying to anger Chloe and Kara -- he really thinks that the changes he's making are necessary. There's a moment where Daniel F. is talking to Kara and she says, "Chloe, we've changed minds here." Daniel hurriedly replies, "No, don't say it like it's freaky. It's a good thing."
Daniel V.'s group seems to be getting along. At one point, Daniel is explaining something to Andrae and they say "matte" at the same time. Daniel then says, "It's really weird how we keep finishing each other's… [waits until joke is no longer funny -- thanks, Andrae]." Then they finally finish in unison, "Sentences." Everyone's scurrying. More Daniel Franco Team fighting. Kara interviews that Daniel is overthinking and "he's not realizing that we've got to get things done."
Santino can't tell the front from the back on Emmett's work. Emmett interviews that the day is stressful.
With an hour and a half left in the day, Tim enters. None of Daniel V.'s looks are finished yet. He tells Tim that it's "doable," though. In other news, Daniel has a tattoo peeking out from beneath the right sleeve of his t-shirt. Just thought I'd point that out.
Tim tells Diana that he doesn't understand her design. He doesn't like the idea of the fabric flowing between the model's legs. Tim wants to make sure that Diana's concept is not in fact a gimmick. She doesn't think it is, but she does a really bad job of telling that to Tim. Lupe interviews that Diana needs to learn to be a better communicator if she wants to sell her ideas.
When Tim asks Santino how his group is doing, Santino stands with his arms crosses and head cocked and says, "It's coming." Tim notes that Santino seems really stressed out, and tells Nick to help him.
Tim tells Daniel F. that his designs don't look young enough. He says it's looking "Joan Collins." Damn, Tim can nail a pop culture reference when he wants to, can't he? Daniel seems mortified. However, he transfers that mortification to the audience when he deludes, "I think we're basically gonna have the best quality garments that Project Runway has ever seen." Has he lost his mind? What the hell is he talking about? Does he realize that the show he is on and was on last year IS Project Runway? Tim asks Chloe and Kara, without Daniel, how things are going. They tell him that they are nervous. Tim points out that, though Daniel is a good designer, he thinks like a "fine artist" with "no deadline." Chloe and Tim agree that failure to regard a deadline is Daniel's worst flaw as a designer. As they're scurrying, Chloe, sounding like Simon to Daniel Franco's other Simon, says, "God, you drive me crazy, Franco. You drive me crazy. I'm gonna kill you." Daniel's response is, "Kill me after the challenge, please."
Emmett asks Santino what he wants on the bustier that he is making, and Santino says, "Just finish it." Elsewhere, in an interview, Santino says that he got "a sack of potatoes" when he chose Emmett to be on his team. He calls Emmett "dead weight." Just like this show isn't The Apprentice or Survivor and it's unnecessary to be all "strategy" and "alliances" and shit, I also wouldn't feel the need to clean the slate after every challenge. I'd be like, "You were rude to me on the runway. Do NOT fucking talk to me at the fabric store." I'd hold a grudge. But that's just me. Santino continues in his interview that, when he saw the look that Emmett was working on, it was incomplete and looked like a "Christmas elf's" outfit. We see Santino cover his eyes and just generally start to wig as Emmett tries to comfort him. Tim enters and tells everyone that it is time for everyone to leave for the day. Santino falls to the floor. Emmett, of course not realizing that Santino is talking all kinds of shit about him, says to Santino, "You are a very good designer. You have Nick and I [sic] dealing with it. We believed it from the first minute that we sat down together to talk about it. This is not the time to be second-guessing your vision." Nice little pep talk, huh? Santino still has his eyes covered. I wonder if he's trying to keep himself from telling Emmett that this is all his fault. Commercials.
The morning, Daniel V. and Nick are getting ready as Santino is still in bed. Santino interviews that he is upset with himself and "one particular teammate." The extraordinary thing about that statement was that he mentioned being less than perfectly happy with himself. We then see him say that he has a hard time making something "mediocre" or "less than perfect." Point taken, though I'd have an easier time believing that he was just some sort of mad genius if he didn't also feel the need to make fun of nerdy Diana and her sexual history. That has nothing to do with his work.
Kara interviews that she is trying to have faith in Daniel. She hopes that her team will "pull a miracle." From the lips of Kara, a new drinking game has emerged. It's the "drink every time Kara mixes a metaphor or common phrase" game. It's been bugging me for a while: Kara has a habit of twisting phrases in the oddest way -- like earlier, when she said that they would need to be "on step." She cleaned it up and added the more sense-making "on point," but she does that a lot. I'm wondering if English is her first language. She has an accent odd enough that it might be Afrikaner, so maybe that's her native tongue. But I think she just fucks up when she talks.
At Parsons, Tim says that all of the collections look incomplete and that everyone looks susceptible to elimination. There is mayhem. Daniel Franco, however, is still working at his snail's pace. Kara is screaming at him to hurry and just make decisions. Zulema interviews that no one is finished, and we see her explaining short cuts to Andrae. Nick interviews that Santino is going a little crazy adding trim to his designs. He says that "there's a limit where it starts looking a little tacky." That's hard, because the line is tongue-in-cheek already. Where's the limit with that sort of stuff? Emmett interviews that he prefers to have his design finished the night before the judging, but Santino likes to add "elements" until the final moment. It's looking a little like Santino has gotten into a Bedazzling sort of mood.
Chloe and Kara are really frustrated with Daniel F. Kara tells Chloe that she has been asked to redo the sashes three times. For only having two hours remaining before the runway show, they are really behind. Kara is holding a garment and sewing still. Kara interviews that she feels strongly that today's elimination will be of an entire team. No wonder they're so mad at Daniel. He's not just endangering himself, in their minds, but them as well. Then Kara interviews quite creepily, "I'm gonna snip your pee-pee off, Daniel [snips the air with scissors], if you get me off of this show." Gross. Chloe interviews that she also thinks the entire team will be up for elimination. She says that, if forced to defend herself, she will blame "it all" on Daniel. We see Kara pleading with Daniel not to change something, and it's almost like her pleading encourages him to make the changes. She goes ballistic. She tells him that it's going to look tacky. In the sewing room, they continue their argument and she tells him that their work is going to look unfinished. He says, "I got an idea," and walks away. Kara replies, "The kid's got too many fucking ideas, okay?" There's something about that last statement of hers that I like. Daniel interviews that he is aware that his team doesn't trust his time-management skills. Understated, unlike the orange and red shirt he's wearing. He continues that he knows his team believes in his vision. Daniel, they just want to finish. He also says that he is responsible for the vision, and, if forced to defend the designs, he will not turn on Chloe and Kara.
The models start to enter. Tons of blurred nudity. Cara, one of Diana's models, doesn't want to wear any of the outfits because she finds it "inappropriate." Diana seems flummoxed. She interviews flatly that she feels that a model's job is to achieve different looks, and if you don't want to do that, you shouldn't be a model. Or you possibly should read your contract or ask some questions before you agree to appear on a TV show where you're going to be wearing a lot of different clothes; it's not farfetched to assume that someone might expect you at some point to wear something revealing. Cara is Marla's model, and Marla tells Diana that she has had problems with her before. She's just generally a little picky. Diana concludes with a smile, "I don't want to work with someone so disagreeable."
Meanwhile, Andrae is pinning Danyelle into her garment and tells her that it's "so nice" working with her. Daniel V. interviews that all of their models have great bodies and great walks. I'm about to start putting quotation marks around the word "walk." I know their walking is important, but it just seems absurd to talk about it like that. Christ, though, Danyelle has some mighty abs.
In the make-up room, Santino tells the artists that he wants his models to look like "deers [sic] in the face." They end up looking more like Cats, but it's a kind of rad concept. He even requests antlers for one girl.
As Daniel Franco is getting a blow-dry (for real), Chloe says that their collection is strong -- thanks to her and Kara's sewing. Chloe tells him that working with him is a nightmare, and Daniel reverts to his Season 1 bullshit and says something about "it's the passion that counts."
We see more interaction between Cara and Diana. Cara is saying something about how she's not going to be comfortable if her chest is completely uncovered. She's annoying. Dude, Heidi freaking Klum Seal is the host of this show. When the fuck has she ever been completely dressed when she was modeling? What did you expect? Dr. Zhivago? Diana interviews that they had to make this "giant bun" for Cara's bust. Diana feels like it detracts from her design. Nick interviews that, though his group might look weak, he feels that Diana's looks weaker. Tim stops everyone. Commercials.
Heidi welcomes everyone to the runway. She introduces the judges. They are Nina Garcia, Cynthia Rowley (who's filling in for Michael Kors…?), and Heidi's "fellow Victoria Secret Angel" Alessandra Ambrosio.
The show begins with Diana's collection. The first thing I notice is that she was successfully talked out of the chiffon flowing between the model's legs. It's now flowing over her hip. It's not the prettiest stuff I've seen, but it is true to its concept. Diana said she wanted to mix bondage and flowing fabrics and that's exactly what I see. It's very strappy. Kind of Helmut Lang (R.I.P.). Unfortunately, it's not very flattering. The second look is a short black dress, with cutouts on the sides of the waist. There is red chiffon flowing over the entire bust. There are small asymmetrical cutouts all along the back of the dress. This is the one that Cara is wearing. I guess it wasn't supposed to look like a dress, but it actually gives the collection a little diversity this way. Cara is an unenthusiastic walker. Lupe is bouncing to the music, and it's weird. She interviews that their collection is smooth and cohesive. The final look is probably the best. It has a thong bottom that's asymmetrical on the sides. The top is a bandeau with lot of asymmetrical straps coming out of it and wrapping around the model's neck. She is also wearing two lavender chiffon sleeves that fit around her biceps and fall to below her knees. And damn, that is a THONG. Entire ass exposure working there. Again, not the prettiest work, but it lives up to its concept. Marla interviews that she finds their concept innovative.
up is Santino's collection. This is going to be hard; there's a lot of shit going on. The first look is sort of a high-waisted negligee with matching leggings. The fringe is all ivy-looking cliché German kitsch. There's stuff everywhere: felt leaves at the middle of her bust; random red strings attached to the sides of the bust, just hanging. The leafy strap is halter-shaped. Aye. Oh my God, the one. This is really fucking hard. The one appears to have the silhouette of lederhosen, with lots of peek-a-boo cutouts. Fringe and stuff everywhere. Emmett interviews that Santino added stuff until the designs weren't "delicate or sexy any longer." I'll say. The panties of that one are kind of cute. There's a ruffle on the ass that is adorable. The last one is, ostensibly, just a bra and panties. The bra is a short bustier with a halter strap. The panties ride really low on the model's hips. I guess it fits nicely, but there's so much fringe that it totally perverts the shape of the design. It's brown and red and gray? Emmett also calls this "vaudeville" and I agree. The last design has "Auf Wiedersehen" on the behind, but even that is so frilly, I can hardly read it. Santino interviews that the judges did not seem "amused" by his collection. No; in fact, Nina looks pissed.
Now it's Daniel V.'s turn. The first look is really smooth. It's a skirt and a strapless bustier top. In keeping with the concept, they look like they were shaped from a man's suit. They're not changing the world, but it's cute. Daniel says that he wasn't completely satisfied by his collection. The look is a black one-piece negligee. The model is wearing a collar and tie as well. There's some tuxedo fabric and tailoring on the negligee, which includes it in the concept. Andrae interviews that he could actually see their looks being worn as undergarments. Their final look is a bra and panties. The panties are little boy-cut shorts and the bra has pleating all along it -- sort of like a tuxedo shirt. This look is really hot. Everything fits the model really well.
Finally, it's Daniel Franco's collection. Geez, it's ancient. It has a Frederick's of Hollywood sort of look to it. The first one is sleeveless and low-cut. Lace over the bust. Satin sash. Layered short skirt. Yawn. Daniel interviews that he and his teammates were proud of their designs. He also comments that Kara and Chloe worked harder for him than he could imagine "a designer doing for another designer." The one is kind of the same thing, but with large cutouts on the side of the bust. Kara laments that the silhouettes weren't better conceived. The last is, again, kind of the same thing. It's a dress, though, with tiny cutouts at the waist. All three of the designs were made with the exact same fabric in the exact same places. I thought I was watching an episode of Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters. They used to wear the same dress cut three different ways. Since Irlene couldn't sing but was pretty, she would always get the most revealing of the cuts. I realize I could have just used Destiny's Child as an example of this instead of making myself look like such a hick, but whatever. Chloe interviews that she is proud of the collection, even though it's not very original. At least, she says, it was sewn properly.
The scores have been tallied and the designers step onto the runway. Daniel V.'s team is asked to step forward. Heidi tells them that the judging will be different for this challenge. Then, she tells Daniel that he won the challenge. She also says that the scores for his team were much higher than the other teams. Daniel politely says that he is very happy they won. We see his team hug their models backstage. Heidi calls Diana's team, and they step forward. She tells them that their scores are high enough to qualify for the challenge. They leave the runway. Santino is murmuring under his breath as they walk past him. Marla and Lupe hug backstage.
The lowest scored teams are Daniel F.'s and Santino's. The models come back onstage. Nina tells Santino that she is disappointed. She asks him why he picked his theme. Santino seems ready for a fight. He tells her that it's not "run-of-the-mill lingerie." Nina says that she believes lingerie should be sophisticated with a lot of attention to detail, whereas Santino's designs are overwhelming. Heidi adds that it is unclear where on his design you should be focusing. Cynthia Rowley adds that if he had mixed any of his pieces with something more wearable, his line might be more "understandable." Santino counters, "But that's not my vision, and that's not what I was trying to present." Already, I'd be like, "Get out of here." In any capacity! Like, "Hey buddy, you're not fucking Shakespeare yet. Chill with the attitude." If I were an instructor and a thirty-year-old man started to rant at me, I'd have to tell him, "You know what, you're not a child. This is unacceptable behavior for a grown-up, artist or not." I just think, on any level, his attitude is out of line. Nina nails it: "It's not aesthetically pleasing." Santino says, "I think lingerie is sexy and I think it's supposed to come off, is what I think." Is he trying to shock the ladies? Like they don't know what lingerie is for. What the fuck is happening right now? ["And what exactly is his argument, here -- that, if your lingerie is ugly, your partner will peel it off you faster so s/he won't have to look at it anymore, and therefore it's done its job 'better'? Shut up, Sonny." -- Sars]
Nina replies, gamely sticking with this argument despite Santino's attitude, that lingerie is supposed to be delicate. He says that's been done. Nina's right back with, "This has been done too!" Then, Santino's all, "Who? Who's done it? Name names." This guy. Elle may not be Vogue, but come on! Like the damn editor of one of the biggest fashion mags in the world isn't going to be able to name an influence for just about everything she will ever see. And sure enough, she does. "This could be Galliano." To which Santino responds, "Maybe." That's beautiful, but she's not finished. "This could be McQueen. This could be so many people." Then Santino says that his concept came to him "organically." Okay, despite Santino's wretched demeanor, I think I may understand where he's coming from. I think he's trying to say that he doesn't feel like he attempted one thing and got it wrong. He feels that he created a new concept that shouldn't be judged by other pre-existing concepts. The problem with that thought process is that the garments are purposed, and he has already stated quite clearly that he understands the purpose. Lingerie is made to be sexy. His designs aren't sexy. Nina's not just telling him why they aren't good lingerie, she's telling him why they aren't sexy. Nina adds that the designs don't look well made and Santino replies, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Nina!" There was something comical about that.
Nina looks like she's had enough of all of this, but continues, asking Nick what he thinks about Santino's vision. Nick says that he understands what Santino was going for. While Nick is answering, Santino gives Nina this really menacing stare-down. For real, I'd tell the guy to take a hike. Nina then asks Emmett if he thinks "it's too much." He does, provoking an eye-roll from Santino. Heidi asks Santino who from his team should be out. Can you guess who? You're right. He says, "Emmett designs menswear. And he designs in a way that has never suited me." Heidi hurries things along: "So are you saying it would be Emmett." Uh, yeah, he is. Nick also chooses Emmett. Emmett chooses Santino, mentioning Santino's "eleventh hour" meltdown. He also points out that a leader should take responsibility and not blame his team members. Sure, that's easy to say when you're not the team leader.
Alessandra tells Daniel Franco in slightly broken English that his designs look "like old woman." Daniel says that his designs were meant for women from thirty to fifty years old. Nina does not like the Mandrell Sisters effect. She says she doesn't want to see three versions of the same dress. Chloe is itching to speak up and says that "at the end of the day it was [Daniel's] vision and we had to follow it." Cynthia takes this cue and tells Daniel that he should have let his teammates help diversify the looks. Kara adds that Daniel is very "headstrong" about his vision. Heidi asks who Kara thinks should be eliminated from their team, and Daniel interrupts her. He says, "I'd like to make a statement about that. That, um…" He looks a little choked up and is trying to keep his composure. He continues, "Never before have I seen anyone…" Uh-oh…he curses, then starts crying. This is uncomfy. "That's worked as passionately than these two. And, I told them, that if it goes down that I have to go. I go, I don't sell them out. I'll take the blame. Damn!" Wow. Chloe says something about how that made her start to cry. The designers leave the runway.
As the judges begin to deliberate, Heidi mentions that the team leaders are in a tougher position that the rest of the designers. Actually, let me give you the transcript of Heidi's elucidation, "Their booty was on the line much more than all the other ones." Nina thinks that Santino's designs were costume-y. Alessandra doesn't think he was considering the consumer. Nina also feels that Santino behaved in a cowardly way as the team leader by not accepting responsibility for the collection. Cynthia adds that you can't have the ego to be a team leader, yet accept none of the blame when things go badly. Nina sounds like she wants Santino to go, but they feel that Daniel's designs weren't creative enough. Nina, sounding like she's talking about Santino more than Daniel, says that "at least" Daniel accepted responsibility for his line's shortcomings.
The designers return. Kara is "in." She grabs Daniel's arm and whispers something as she's leaving the runway. Chloe is "in." She hugs and kisses Daniel before she leaves. Santino is nodding to himself, which is a little scary. Nick is "in." He pats Santino on the arm before he leaves. Now, Santino is smiling and it's really freaky. Emmett is "in." I really wanted to see Santino's immediate reaction to that, but they just showed Emmett walking off of the runway. Backstage, Nick and Emmett hug. Also, Kara and Chloe hug. Heidi tells Daniel that they respect his talent and that he stands by his vision, but his collection was "too safe." She tells Santino that they respect his creativity, but "none of [them] liked [his] collection." That's simple enough, huh? She also points out that it "was cowardly to blame Emmett." Santino does not agree with that part, or so says the shaking of his head and pursing of his lips. Santino is "in." He just walks offstage. Daniel seems a little shocked. Heidi tells Daniel that she wishes he could stay longer. Daniel thanks everyone for the opportunity and walks offstage.
Backstage, Chloe is bawling. "You're such a good person," she says to Daniel. "And to me that's more important than being a great designer." I think she's really shocked that Daniel stuck his head out for them like he did. Because she's upset, her statement sounds a little like, "You're not a great designer, but that's all right because you're a good person." I think what she really means is, she's trying so hard to be a winner in this arena that she may have lost sight of other stuff. And however exciting it may be to see great design, it's always more overwhelming to be faced with great humanity. Daniel didn't save lives or anything, but, if anything, he has continually made it clear how important this opportunity, and fashion design in general, are to him. For him to not fight to stay because of principle must have been a pretty huge deal to him. Tim Gunn enters and says, "Daniel, you leave here with tremendous dignity and integrity. I have a lot of respect for that." Then, as everyone says "here, here" and applauds, Tim hugs Daniel. Honestly, it's all so sweet, I feel a bit misty-eyed. In a way, I could imagine this moment being more important for Daniel than any other in conjuncture with this experience. He has the respect of everyone in the room. Daniel interviews that he has no regrets and feels "a sense of redemption" for last year. He feels that he got to show everyone what he's "about." On his design that will rest in the Fashion Cemetery, above his name, he writes, "Follow your bliss, always…", does one last Daniel Franco Shuffle, and is gone.