We're down to the final three designers: Kara Saun, Jay, and Wendy. Heidi explains to us that all of the designers are returning to New York for a "special episode."
The location is Club Crobar, in New York City. It's a massive dance club, but, sure, have a reunion for the twelve contestants of Project Runway there. It seems like a nice little Italian restaurant would have been a more appropriately sized and purposed location, but maybe I'm not thinking big enough.
One hour before the show, we see Daniel Franco walking past a velvet rope. On the screen graphic, the subtitle to his name is "Eliminated Episode #1." For those who came to the series late, the editors are kind enough to include a shot of Daniel's silly Workshop dance. This way, you can just know that you would have hated him and move on. We also see Daniel's ridiculous brushing-off of Tim Gunn, which was probably the final nail in Daniel's poorly designed coffin.
Mario, the second eliminated, joins Daniel at the bar in Crobar. Mario seems completely uninterested in becoming reacquainted with Daniel. He's all about getting a drink. This spells uncomfortable, since they are the only two people in the place.
, Starr gets out of a town car. Poor sad Starr. We see a shot of her elimination breakdown. She and Daniel toast as Daniel says, "To fashion, I guess." That's the first understated moment I've seen the man have. Maybe he didn't realize a camera was on him.
Nora is giggling as she enters. Then, we see her drama with Kevin. Her laugh is that of a person walking into a place where she was previously embarrassed. Like, when you go to work the Monday after the Christmas Party where you got drunk and fell on the cheese table. And, for real, I have NEVER DONE THAT. Nora greets Mario and Starr very warmly.
Alexandra enters. We see a clip of her fitting her tiny swimsuit design onto her model. Once seated, we hear her saying that some boutiques have started carrying her designs since the show. That's pretty cool.
Kevin enters as we see a clip of him being really nasty to poor Starr. Seriously, though, I never fell on any cheese table. When Kevin enters Crobar, he and Nora hug. They seem really glad to see each other.
Robert and Vanessa enter at the same time. The Vanessa retrospective does her no favors. Damn, she was a lot more annoying than I remembered. But Robert was just as dumb as I remembered. They greet everyone warmly -- Robert, of course, going straight for Alexandra.
Finally, Austin enters dressed as Paul Revere, with a flurry of accompanying clips.
As they are all drinking and mixing, Vanessa wonders aloud if the final three will be there. We see Austin tell Alexandra that he doesn't know what he would say to Wendy. Alexandra doesn't even think she could say "hello" to her. Then, Austin, ever the gentleman, offers, "Unless, maybe, all along, she was a smart, savvy businesswoman." Vanessa says to the camera, "Wendy, if you listen to this, you don't deserve to be there." Nora responds with a "Dude, Harsh" laugh.
And speak of all that is evil in this world and the , here's Wendy Pepper. We see her lumber out of a town car. Then, it's credits.
Heidi, with the lovely Tim Gunn at her side, welcomes the designers to the reunion. She tells us that, in a few moments, she'll bring out the three finalists. Vanessa appears to be pounding glasses of wine. Heidi presents a clip of Austin's elimination. Heidi asks Austin how he feels about losing, and he says he hasn't thought about it because so many great things are now happening to him because of the show. Tim Gunn asks if he thinks he should have been eliminated, and Austin says he doesn't. They are basically pushing him to say that he thinks Wendy should have gone home. Austin just says that the "popular" answer would be that Wendy should have gone home. Kevin points out that Austin's design was more Oscar than Grammy, but Starr says that she feels Austin "definitely" deserved to be in the final three instead of Wendy. Heidi presents an Austin Highlights real. We essentially see him flouncing about. It's pretty funny. He primps a lot. Kara Saun says that she thinks Austin is a vampire from several centuries ago. Wendy, sporting a new dye job, interviews that Austin would sigh when something bothered him.
Heidi asks the designers whether they think the right people are in the final three. Vanessa screams that it should have been her, Kevin, and "Alexandria": "We're the most talented 'designers.'" Everyone shakes his or her head. Vanessa does not appear to be on a peacekeeping mission this evening.
Heidi introduces Kara Saun and Jay, to much applause. They are seated on stools, just a little separated from the others. Nice touch, Bravo. Like everyone doesn't feel shitty enough for having lost. Jay looks at Austin and declares him "over-the-top tonight," because of his outfit. Kara Saun says that they knew Austin would be wearing something fabulous. "You look like a doily," Jay concludes, and Austin thanks him. And, then, Wendy is introduced. Heidi and Tim are really the only people who applaud. Kevin and Austin join in anemically. Her seat is on a sofa with Vanessa, where she is effectively surrounded by the people about whom she has been talking so much shit for months. She pats Vanessa on the arm, and Vanessa gurgles, "Don't act like you're happy to see me." Wendy gives her one of her "I'm evil but not quick so I can only glare" stares. Heidi welcomes her and notices that Wendy has undergone a makeover. Her hair has been dyed, she is not wearing glasses, and she's lost some weight. She has replaced that weight with the tackiest, longest scarf in creation.
Heidi asks Wendy how life has been for her since the show has been airing (since all episodes have aired before this reunion was taped). Wendy says that it has been great, though "hard for [her]" as the show unfolded. She mentions that people have written to her and are not happy with her behavior. At this point, Heidi asks her why she was "so strategic" on the show. Because she thought she was on another show, that's why. "Because I want to win," she replies.
"Based on what?" asks Mario from the back. Oh, girl, this is gonna get good. Wendy feigns deafness, so Mario elaborates: "Did you rely on raw talent or did you rely on malicious trickery to get you where you are now?" up for Mario, he'll be leading a seminar at the Learning Annex entitled Scathing Indictments In The Form Of A Question: Your Life In Jeopardy. Wendy replies that the judges weren't influenced by any strategy of hers, so her talent got her through the competition. If always being second worst is a talent, then yes, Wendy, your "talent" got you here. Of course, she won the Banana Republic thing fair and square. Hating her makes it hard to remember that.
Wendy adds that she treated her fellow designers as if they were trying to eliminate her. Add paranoia to the list of her dysfunctions. Alexandra tells Wendy that she looks "evil" to anyone who watches the show. Mario adds, "And your daughter. What does she say?" Damn, he is good. She just gives a look that says, "That's silly," but you know it gets to her.
Vanessa, who seems really demented, says, "You see, we were all really nice to you because we felt sorry for you because you're such a terrible designer. You're like a mother of whatever, however many kids you have -- and then you just stepped on all of us." Vanessa, you're diluting the argument by being insane. Wendy is just drinking from her paper cup.
Kara Saun gives what appears to be a planned speech declaring that people acted on the show the same way they are in life. She goes on to say that she made an effort to be a good person to the other people on the show so that she could respect herself and them. Mario confirms that you can "see the difference between Kara Saun and Wendy."
Wendy then adopts a bright vocal tone and says that she thinks everyone "misunderstands [her] objective for coming on the show." She didn't come there to make friends, blah, blah, blah.... Jay nails that for being "so cliché." Really, though, there have been enough shows like this for people to know that it's not necessary to be hateful to win. Like Kara Saun said, Wendy was nasty because that's the way she is in real life. Jay adds that you were supposed to get to the end with "your work," not with chicanery. I wish someone would throw a drink on Wendy. I'm talking to you, Vanessa. Wendy tries to play everything off like she thought everyone would compete the way she did. I guess it's fairly safe to assume that she would think that. Basically, Wendy seems like a person who is not aware of her own power. Mixed with her propensities for self-pity and self-obsession, she's a total danger to society. She thinks she is constantly the underdog, so she's flogging the hell out of her surroundings while thinking that it's making no difference. As well, since she can think of no one but herself, she imagines that it's other people who are holding her down. But, while Wendy is not a talented designer, she is a person with a lot of personal power. She will be a success. Doing something. So, her lack of sophistication and design skills are NO EXCUSE for how she has behaved. And, really, she is a mom. Imagine if your mother acted like that on television. I'd be all, "Pick up my toys? What will I get? You do it, bitch. Like mother like daughter." But, that would be if I were Wendy's daughter, not my mother's son, cause then I'd be more "Like mother like --" whatever, I'm losing my mind. Granted, I can't really say for sure what's going on inside of that rotten mind of Wendy's, but I think that's what the clues tell us.
Tim reads some email questions viewers have for Wendy: "When you watched the show were you [emphasis Tim Gunn's] surprised by how nasty you came across?" That's right, let Wendy know that it's the whole freaking viewing audience who thinks she's a jerk, not just some sour-grapes opponents. I've said it before: Wendy should go into politics. She gives this elaborate answer about how, yes, she was uncomfortable watching the show. However, it was a very tense situation, and, apparently, being very mean to the people around her was the only way she could survive. Sounds ridiculous, right? She talks a good game, though. At the very least, it disorients everyone for a second. We see a bird's-eye view of them all sitting bright red sofas on this abandoned dance club floor and everyone is silent. It all seems really strange.
Daniel asks Wendy if she is happiest designing or competing. Great question, though, per our experience with Mr. Franco, he finds it necessary to drop silly new-agey phrases into the question. Wendy's response is, "Daniel, I really appreciate this question..." and then she answers another question -- one that no one asked. She says that at least she is admitting that she participated with a strategy in mind, which she believes others did but are pretending they did not. Kara Saun, who is clearly the target of this comment, just raises her eyebrows in a look like "You really want to go there? Do you remember my renegade fashion show?" Jay reminds Wendy that "this is not Survivor!" And Kara Saun coins the now semi-famous, "Don't sell your soul to get anywhere, because you may need it one day." As everyone is agreeing with Kara Saun, we see Wendy contemplating, contemplating, and...no, she doesn't think she'll need her soul. At least she considered it, I guess. Commercials.
Back from the break, and we see Jay -- delirious, I hope, from lack of sleep -- holding two rolls of tape and a big roll of paper as if they are cock and balls. Thank you, cutting-room floor. Not sure that was necessary.
Heidi asks what the hardest challenge was. Everyone agrees that the supermarket challenge was the hardest, both in terms of materials and because it was the first of the challenges.
Tim Gunn asks another viewer question: "What was your security blanket during the competition?" Austin answers for everyone: "Alcohol." I'm seeing an Absolut Binky campaign. Yes, anyone? Austin explains further that you spent all day in the Workshop and would need to relax later. Heidi agrees that they let it all hang out, creating the need for the term "Project Drunkway." Then, we see clips of everyone drinking. It is revealed that Austin loves champagne. We see a wonderfully comic moment of him taking a swig directly from a bottle of bubbly and accidentally spewing it over half of the room. It's like The Thin Man. Good stuff. We also see Vanessa, in a blonde wig with white icing of some sort on her face, fall from a chair at the Atlas apartments. Then, we see Vanessa (still in her wig) and Austin pretending they are Rhett and Scarlett. Robert, with a short brown wig, is told that he looks like Tony Danza, which provokes a "Yo, Angela." Kevin, Vanessa, and a briefly pantsless Jay do drunk yoga. Fun clips.
Back at Crobar, Tim points out that Vanessa has spilled her red wine all over the floor. It's pitiful. Vanessa slurs, "I had an accident." She's really drunk. Heidi asks who the designers felt was the harshest judge. Nina Garcia is the popular consensus. We see clips of her ripping on a few people. They describe Michael Kors as "fair." We see clips of Michael both loving and hating things. Tim Gunn reads another viewer question: "Vanessa, do you regret your runway confession that you do not sew well?" She then says that she does, in fact, sew well, but was "dissatisfied" working on Austin's "Bo Peep" design. She also feels that Austin took the opportunity of her saying that she was the person who should be eliminated to agree and effectively seal her fate. At least, that's what she thinks. Austin, again a total gentleman, very delicately declares that, though he feels Vanessa is a terrific designer, she was the "weak link" in the project. Because of all of the sewing. She is trying to act like she suddenly, while on the runway, planted the notion in Austin's mind that she couldn't sew, but I remember Jay didn't choose her for his team because she was always blabbering about how poor she was at sewing. Austin mentions, as proof that he was only being honest on the runway, that Wendy had already sold him out to the judges, so he could have easily just turned on Wendy. He tries to further clarify what he meant, but Vanessa asks him to stop calling her the "weakest link": "You know what, every time you fucking say 'the weak link,' my sales go from 2.5 million, to seven hundred thousand, to five hundred thousand, to nothing." I have a feeling someone was just telling us how much she makes so we'll think she's a big shot. Hmm? Vanessa then says that she has gotten a lot of sewing kits in the mail. Tim repeats the question, asking Vanessa if it was a mistake to have "self-eviscerated" on the runway. Wow, there's no hiding from that phrase, is there? Vanessa tries, though: "Well, in this fantasyland of Project Runway it's probably an error." Vanessa's really not making a very good showing here, is she?
Tim asks Wendy if she regrets calling Austin out at the same runway showing where Vanessa screwed herself. As well, he asks if she regrets being such a criminal to Kevin during the collection challenge. She says that she had decided that "Vanessa had really tried her hardest," so she couldn't "in good conscience" choose Vanessa. Apparently, Wendy is forgetting that we have all watched the program. She dogged on Vanessa from the very beginning of that project. I bet everyone is so angry with Wendy that they can't even form proper arguments right now, because why the hell isn't she getting a bigger smackdown? You're all going to regret this tomorrow, people, when you're in your hotel rooms. Nora's gonna wake from a dead sleep going, "But you wouldn't speak to Vanessa at the fabric store! Where's my teddy?"
With regard to Kevin, Wendy simply says that she doesn't think he was a good leader, and that she said so when asked about it. Wait, she didn't actually say that "simply"; she said it defensively. Kevin doesn't say a thing, and there's silence. Commercials.
More from the cutting-room gutter: Rob wearing his banana hammock underwear with a little enhancement stuffing. Okay, Robert has like a girlie tattoo on his bikini line. Back to Crobar. We see the designers impersonate each other. Almost everyone has their own rendition of "I didn't take the bitch's dye." Nora does a freaking transcendent Alexandra -- "Like, it's so hot in here, you know what I mean? I totally don't know if I should put more lip stuff on." Daniel does Mario smoking. Mario does Daniel describing what he had for breakfast with appropriate "Follow Your Bliss" verve. Back to Nora, who NAILS Kevin. The little boy thing. The shifty eyes. She should go on SNL. Robert does Austin -- or, rather, impersonates him. Holy shit, Nora's not done. She does the best Heidi Klum Seal...ever. She raises her voice. She has all of the weird diction. Nora should do voices. And, I like her designs, but maybe she should just voices. That's how good she is. Like those on our forums, the designers took much pleasure in mocking Heidi's oft-repeated "Either you're 'in' or you're 'out.'" We see an inset image of Heidi watching this. She seems to be taking it like a good sport.
Heidi says we're going to talk about Tim Gunn now. I love Tim Gunn for one reason above all -- more than his wardrobe, more than his being a silver fox, more than his facial expressions. More than all of those things, I love Tim Gunn because he is the ideal instructor in an arts education environment. He is clearly passionate about fashion, but he is gentle and has a nurturing spirit. In the end, he becomes this really great collaborator for all of the designers. Heidi is right when she says now that she doesn't know where all of the designers would be without Tim. They show a reel of his best moments. Lots of "Make it work"s and "Carry on"s. Mario tells about going to Parson's for the first time and seeing Tim and thinking, "What a hot bitch!" Don't you wish Mario had been on longer? Goddamn Wendy. Ruins everything. Tim just kind of laughs at Mario's comment. Girl knows he looks good. Kara Saun says that Tim's advice was always spot-on. Jay also says that when he took Tim's advice, the work always looked better. Wendy mentions that Tim thought her work was dowdy, and we see a snippet of him ordering that she not defend the shoe. Tim says that he wanted to wake Wendy, and she thanks him. When Wendy says that Tim thought her work was dowdy, Vanessa pipes up to say, "Well it was dowdy, most of the time." She's fucking this up. This is supposed to be the "Make Wendy Face Her Sins" Program, not the "Watch Vanessa Behave More Poorly Than Wendy, Thus Diminishing The Satisfaction We Will Feel From Watching Wendy Have To Face Her Sins" Show. For real, someone shut her up NOW.
Oh God, now Heidi brings up "MustacheGate," when Wendy's daughter's photo was defaced. I'd like to go on the record as not really caring about that whole thing. What I would say to Wendy, though, is, sins of the father, baby. Sure, you shouldn't fuck with pictures of people's kids, but...hi, karma! Heidi says that she was shocked and wants to know who did it. People are staring at Kevin, and he says, "Why would it be me?" Tim mentions that it happened after Wendy "eviscerated" Kevin on the runway, and that he was alone in the room with the picture when he was cleaning his workspace. Then, Vanessa says that she thinks Wendy might have done it herself. Kevin denies defacing the picture, though I don't believe him and really hope that he did it. I'm kind of annoyed at the designers because they are acting like the girl was injured somehow. I know it was an image of her daughter, but someone was destroying beloved property of Wendy's, not hurting the girl. Not that I would even do that, because it's immature and pointless. I just think it is a diversion to think of this situation as something bad happening to Wendy's daughter. I'm sure whoever drew the tiny mustache on the tiny photo would never do anything mean to a real live girl.
Vanessa repeats that she thinks that Wendy did it. Jay then repeats that it was a really horrible thing that, had it happened to him, would have really upset him. Vanessa jokingly asks Jay if he has a daughter, and he freaks: "Do you have a soul? Honestly, Vanessa, why do you act like this? You're so soulless. Take a yoga class, my god." Austin concludes the subject by succinctly describing the incident as "silly." Austin gives very good reunion. Commercials.
Heidi describes how the designers, when not working, were giving interviews. We see clips of people being made up. We see a succession of clips with Jay saying "Hodi" or "Hosti" instead of Heidi. That's pretty fun. We also see Robert saying a host of incorrect words in a series of clips. The man is Mr. Magoo. We see an interview with Starr where, via a clock, we see her take twenty-two seconds to begin answering a question.
Heidi introduces models Melissa, Julia, Jenny, and Martinique. They are appropriately laconic. Tim asks the designers what was special about the models. Wendy says she could have non-competitive relationships with the models, and we see the time she comforted stupid Morgan. Jay says he like Julia because of her personality. Likewise, he would never have worked with Olga because of her personality. We see clips of the models playing around. We even see Olga's boyfriend. Jay makes fun of Olga's accent. Everybody says sweet stuff about Melissa. Robert says she's like "a thirty-six-year-old trapped in a sixteen-year-old's body." After the montage, Tim tells us that Morgan was asked to be there, but that she demanded that a contract be signed by the producers stipulating that they would not portray her in a negative way. So, there's no Morgan. What would you have if you didn't use the negative stuff? Then, we see a montage of Morgan. She has problems. We see a freakout that we didn't see earlier. She starts screaming at the cameraperson outside of Hiro after the swimsuit challenge. Tim asks another viewer question: despite her good walk, was Morgan worth keeping around? Apparently suffering from amnesia, Kevin says he still thinks that Morgan is great. Melissa speaks up, though, and condemns Morgan's behavior as risky and unprofessional. She's so adorable.
Heidi says that Kara, Jay, and Wendy are about to leave; she wonders if anyone has a question for another among them. Jay has a question for Vanessa about a little interview that she granted. It was really nasty, and they want to know why she said such things about them. Nora, in particular, was offended by Vanessa's allusions to the designers' inexperience as a group. Vanessa didn't think that she would be coming to New York and sewing "in a little room." She thought it would be different, so she says she described her experience "on the telephone to this girl." Everyone's disgruntled. Jay says that it was unprofessional, and Vanessa says that it wasn't a "professional" interview: "It was with someone on the phone, who was talking." Oh, you mean an interview? As well, Vanessa says that the interviewer was an "old intern" of hers, which, if you have a little looky at that interview, you will see is a total lie. Vanessa has ruined the reunion. She ruinunioned. This should have been Wendy's crucifixion; instead, it's Vanessa's intervention. Jay and Kara Saun scold her some more, pointing out that the show was a great opportunity for all of them, and that her denigrating it in the press hurts them all as well. Jay seems a touch self-righteous now. I agree with him for the most part, but he is wearing fucking sunglasses inside. His speech about being appreciative doesn't work as well when I'm looking at my own reflection on his damn head. Vanessa, in a sweeping display of how sour her grapes are, says that Kara and Jay would feel differently if they weren't showing their lines at Fashion Week. Man, what a bitch. So, this woman was going to hate everything unless she won? Jay asks her why she has been so disagreeable the entire night, and Vanessa replies, "Because I don't want to be here." And, she leaves with a "this is bullshit." Goodbye forever, Vanessa. Please. Commercials.
We're back, without Vanessa. Good. Kara Saun, Jay, and Wendy are gone, too. We see a montage of all of the designers saying who they think will win. It goes as follows: Daniel: Kara Saun; Nora: Jay; Alexandra: Kara Saun; Jay: Jay; Kara Saun: Kara Saun; Austin: Kara Saun; Robert: Jay; Wendy: Wendy (and it takes her a moment). Back at Crobar, they talk more about who they think will win. Daniel says that he thinks Kara Saun will win because of her spirit, her dedication, and other clichés. Starr says that she thinks Jay has a chance, because, even though he seems all punk rock, there is a consistency there. It's beautiful, but "Jay." Then, Starr says very poignantly that whoever wins, there will be a loss. And, she is not talking about Wendy. Austin thinks that maybe Jay is, like him, a little to personal in his work. Kevin, however, thinks that Austin is more like Kara Saun in their costume-y ways. I bet Austin's going to wait to confirm which he is most similar to until after the competition. While Kevin is complimenting Jay, Daniel says that Jay is like "Punky Brewster." Yeah, shut up, Daniel. I think he's just pissed that Jay talked a little smack about him back when he still existed. Nora shuts Daniel down, too.
Then, Robert offers the mind-fuck of the evening. "What if Wendy won?" Everyone stutters. Nora just says, "I wouldn't be very happy." Robert, having stayed up all night with an abacus, says, "You know she has a 33% chance of winning." Oh, Robert. Austin can't even lift his head to respond. Heidi reminds us that no one knows who will "wean." Ooh.