Previously: the challenge was to use "envy" as a theme. Jay did not take "the bitch's" (Kevin's) dye. The designers had to represent themselves and their garments in a silent auction. Wendy Pepper unveiled her strategy to win the competition: to get people to confide in her. Kara Saun won the challenge. Wendy and Starr got some criticism, but Mario was eliminated. Two down, ten to go. Or seven to go, if you consider that the final three will be showing their collections at fashion week.
At the Atlas apartments, Jay asks Vanessa whether she misses Mario. She's wearing a cowboy hat and brushing her hair and coldly says, "No." In an interview, Jay says that it is time for him to get competitive. He says that he has rebellious tendencies he needs to curb; he doesn't want to get eliminated like Mario. It would seem that Mario was quite heroic and punk rock if the main cause of elimination were his model flipping the bird on the runway, but let's be real. There was nothing to his dress. Apparently, Jay owns a vintage store, or so reads his chyron as he is talking. Vintage and porn. I'm going to just assume that Jay has an admirable vintage porn collection. Starr says in an interview that she is torn between the careers of corporate law and fashion design. Forget Banana Republic: she should mentor with Barbie. She is feeling a resurgence of creativity, which is something she thought she had lost. In a very measured way, she acknowledges that other designers in the competition are better than her, but that she can "run with the pack."
Robert -- who is now listed as "women's tailor" (and, right on, the guy knows how to cut a suit) -- says in an interview that, for the past three years, he was "somewhat happily" married and living in Russia. Maybe that is the explanation for his accent. He apparently become less somewhat happy and got a divorce.
The designers meet Heidi at the Banana Republic design studio. I understand that she is not the first reality TV show host to do it, but it feels that Heidi Klum Seal is constantly regurgitating information we already know. The producers must have colossal faith in this show's ability to pick up new viewers after EVERY SINGLE commercial break, because the first minute of every segment is Heidi repeating something we already know. For whom? Heidi reveals the challenge: they have to design a holiday cocktail dress that would be worn by the typical Banana Republic (or "The General Store," as some friends of mine call it) customer. We are introduced to Deborah Lloyd, the head of design for BR. Deborah reminds the contestants that the designs have to "work for the customer" (doesn't everything purchased have to work?), and that the dresses need to be sexy yet sophisticated. Then, Deborah presents the two themes of the Republic's current collection. One is pink and yellow, "sexy secretary/ grandma's attic." The other is art deco-inspired. Deborah says she doesn't want the designers to lose their personalities. However, they need to "remember" Banana Republic (read: lose your personalities). Deborah has brought the fabrics that are being used in the current collection, and wishes them luck.
While everyone is looking through the fabrics, Starr says that Banana Republic is her favorite store. She is very excited about this challenge. Then, she squeals. Austin finds a fabric with a large floral pattern on ivory. He's very excited and says that he wants to make his dress like a rose -- in honor of Mr. Klum Seal, I presume. Jay is freaked out because he doesn't think he can make a design that will be conservative enough.
It's time to choose the models. This time, they are all wearing identical black slips. Heidi reminds the models that the winner will get a spread in Elle. In separate interviews, Melissa (she wore Robert's suit last week) and Allison (she wore Jay's) both say they would like the fashion spread. Kara Saun picks first because she won last week's challenge. She chooses Martinique. (This makes the second week in a row that she was chosen first.) Then, Heidi starts reaching into the button bag. Vanessa chooses Morgan again. Robert is the last to choose, and seems really uncomfortable. Allison is eliminated. Nora pulls a kind of jerk move by crying about it, making Allison more uncomfortable than she already is at being rejected barefoot in a nightgown on a runway. All the girls cry backstage. Heidi tells the designers that they will have two days to complete the challenge.
Day 1. Robert explains that this is the first challenge that requires a lot of pre-planning and schematics. Austin feels confident, possibly inspired by his visual predecessors Cheryl Ladd and Kate Jackson from Charlie's Angels. He shows the sketch for his dress. It looks like he is planning on having crinoline beneath the skirt. Austin seems to think he knows what "Banana" is all about.
Jay doesn't feel like he can be creative. He contemplates suicide, which is not a joking matter. He says in an interview that when he gets tense, he gets boisterous. Then, we see him and Robert fake-fighting. In last week's episode, they showed this same clip and I thought they were serious. Wendy Pepper is annoyed. She doesn't like people playing around. I would think she would promote their goofing off, because it means they're not working, thus giving her an edge. Wendy is a complete mystery to me. She seems so reasonable at times, but on a dime she'll turn back into Evil Mastermind Wendy. It's all in the interviews, too. She seems pretty straightforward when she's around the others, though. I wonder if her insecurities make her think she needs to rip people's guts out. We'll see.
Kara Saun and Nora start fake fighting too. Kevin is now thirty-seven instead of forty-four. At forty-four, he looked great, but he's a pretty average thirty-seven. He thinks that all of the tomfoolery is childish. The mannequins behind him look like they are forcing him to say that. They're very serious. As Nora is being garbage-canned by Kara Saun, Tim Gunn enters. Though he doesn't seem to judge, he is not amused. He has a letter from the Republic, and asks Vanessa to read it. Apparently, the winning design in the challenge will be available to Banana Republic customers. That's really huge. Tim Gunn tells the designers that the winner of this week's challenge will not be immune in week's competition. Also, he emphasizes the magnitude of the opportunity: "The chances are greater that all ten of you would get struck by lightning than that this would happen for you."
Immediately after Tim leaves, everyone gets very serious. Everyone but Robert, who recommends Jell-O wrestling. (Crickets.) Kara Saun tells him to stop trying to distract her. Wendy reflects on her two losses. She says in an interview that she has decided to work within her strengths, instead of thinking about the other designers. She has decided to go with a very conservative design. Starr says that this challenge is, so far, the best suited to her abilities. She's going with art deco design. Kevin says pretty blandly that he thinks his dress will be good. It's black. I'm not as impressed by Kevin now that he is seven years younger than he used to be. Robert can't decide what to do. He's started making three dresses at the same time. He's totally confused and decides to "sleep on it." Kara Saun thinks Robert might be in trouble.
Kevin says something about Starr's dress to Jay, and she hears him. She tells Kevin that it's rude for him to say something about her within her earshot. He says, "I don't think you want to know what I think." That seems unnecessary. Robert interjects, "On that note, it's time to get a drink."
Everyone but Austin and Wendy go out after the workday to, as Jay puts it, "a bar with no people." They start pounding frilly drinks. Robert mentions that he can handle his liquor (probably from his years in Russia), but that the others can't. We are then treated to a slow-motion Vanessa doing a variety of salsa dancing while being cheered on by the other designers. She looks like Julie Walters in Billy Elliot. I'm probably going to need some sort of regression therapy to erase that memory. On the street, Nora is shaking her thang for the camera. In an interview, Jay says, "Nora is not a good drunk." Nora hopes that her parents are proud of her. Commercials.
The day, Austin insinuates that some of the other designers are hung over, but they don't seem that bad. At the workshop, Robert is still confused. He decides to merge his ideas. He has ice blue fabric, with leopard accents. Yes, leopard Nora reflects on last week's judgment that her dress was too simple. This one looks good. It's a gray satin, fitted, cocktail-length dress. There's a really interesting pleating that she does along the bust and back. It's very pretty. Nora says that she sees herself in the dress. Alexandra says her dress is like a "resort" dress. We only see the sketch. It has a low waist and a plunging neckline. Jay says that he is feeling much more confident. In an interview, he says that inspiration has been coming to him "cosmically." When he was thinking of his current design, he looked up and saw a picture of the Chrysler Building and thought, "The Chrysler Building is art deco!" So, his dress is modeled on the Chrysler Building, with lots of upward points and pleating like rays of sun. This guy is good. The dress is awesome. The bodice is mainly ice blue and the skirt is gray. ["This dress was so pretty. It may be my favourite design in the whole season." -- Wing Chun]
With three hours remaining in the day, Tim Gunn asks Starr how it's going. She says she needs more time, because her dress is more complicated than she thought it would be. Robert still seems really scattered. He tries to explain to Tim how he combined his ideas, and Tim says, "Like safari meets the ice cap." Robert registers a look than appears to say, "Yeah, my idea's really stupid." Tim eases out of the situation by noting that Robert is "taking risks." Later, while ironing his dress, Robert stains it. Nora tries to help him (with baby powder, which I've never heard of using as a stain-removing agent), to no avail. They leave the workshop for the day.
The day, we see Robert working out. Once he's dressed, he says he is not nervous. He wants to transform himself, with no irony, into a "Banana Republican." I thought they were called Log Cabin Republicans. Kara Saun cooking eggs (and using a fork to stir them. Note to Kara Saun: don't use metal utensils in non-stick pans) says, that she is giving a Wendy Pepper a makeover. Bless you, Kara Saun, you are doing God's work. We see flashbacks of Wendy's makeup crimes. The new look is really good, with the exception of the infantile pin curls in her hair. Makeup is a check, though. It's so much better.
At the workshop, the designers dress their models. Everyone seems fairly confident. Starr says that she has never been so proud of a design. She uses a lighter on her design to do...something. I don't know. In the preview from last week, this moment was presented in a way as to suggest that Starr lost her mind. She hasn't, though, unless the design of a dress of questionable appeal is a sign of madness. If that's the case, there's a really gaudy straitjacket somewhere with the name "Donatella" in it. Meanwhile, Kevin says in an interview that when he saw Starr's dress, he went, "[Jump.] Ew." This guy needs to lay off of poor Starr. One of the models notices the stain on Robert's dress, and he says, "Yeah, I meant to put that there." Sure you did, Pee-wee. He puts a granny brooch over the stain. Tim Gunn arrives to bring the designers to the runway. He says this is going to be difficult because all of the dresses are lovely. Tim Gunn, you are a nice man and something of a liar.
Heidi welcomes the designers. She mentions that, on behalf of the winner of the challenge, Banana Republic will make a donation to Dress For Success. That charity kind of does what Kara Saun did for Wendy Pepper. This week's judges are Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, and Deborah Lloyd.
The show begins. First is Kara Saun's dress. It is a fitted, lemon yellow satin dress. There is frill along the skirt and the back is cut out. Honestly, not wild about this one. Kara Saun suggests in an interview that she perhaps felt the same way, noting that Banana Republic customers would want something inexpensive yet utilitarian. I think she may have faked herself out.
Austin's dress is . It looks gorgeous. There is, indeed, a crinoline look to the back of the skirt. The bodice has criss-crossed fabric and a scooping back.
Starr's dress is . It's red and black. I've never seen anything in Banana Republic like it. It's a long dress with a multi-layered look at the hem. I think it may be a little too individual for a mass-market retailer like the Republic. Can you imagine two or more people showing up to the same party with such a distinct dress? You know what, I'm just being nice. Starr's dress is ugly. It looks like something Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke would wear. And I've never even watched that show.
Alexandra's dress is . It looks good. The waist is right at the model's hips -- kind of a flapper look. It is sleeveless, with frill along the arms and neck of the garment. In an interview, Alexandra mentions that she is interested in creating ready-to-wear fashions, thus making her a perfect fit with the BR. That's a good point. Also, that explains why some of her attempts at haute couture seem so forced.
Wendy's model comes out. The model, Audrey, is really beautiful. She looks great in classic makeup. Wendy's dress, honestly, is pretty. It's a strapless midnight blue dress. The hem falls just above the knee, and there's a belt around the waist. As well, there is a matching short cape, which is really cute. Wendy looks very excited from the runway view.
, Jay's model walks. The dress looks just as beautiful as before. He has added a blue corsage to the bodice and given the model a blue wrap, which she carries loosely. Jay says in an interview, "I guess somewhere in my soul I knew I could do something that was pretty."
Kevin's girl comes out . She's in a sleeveless black dress, with a high neck -- kind of like the prom dresses they tell girls with really large breasts to get. The skirt of the dress has a wrap feel, as well as maroon accents and a black flower on the hip. I find it fairly unremarkable. It has an art-deco feel because the waist is rather low. This just doesn't seem like a dress to brag about too much, which Kevin seemed to be doing. Are you forty-four or thirty-seven? I have to know!
Vanessa's dress is . It looks like people really loved the ice blue, because hers is another one in that color. It's lovely. It's tea-length in the front, floor length in the back, and high-waisted. The bodice, however, is fairly low-cut. It exposes most of the breastbone. This seems like it would be deemed a touch racy by the average Banana Republic customer, who is at least three dress sizes larger than our model (stupid Morgan) and would be packing a lot more into that skimpy bodice. There's a slit up the middle of the skirt. Vanessa says in an interview that she thinks her dress is the prettiest and most in keeping with the theme.
Nora's dress is . It is looking like only Austin went with the "sexy secretary/grandma's attic" theme. Everybody, including Nora, is doing the art deco. Her dress is really cute. Again, there's a low waist, although the hem of the dress is well above the knee. The skirt moves a lot and, with the shimmering quality of the fabric, it is fun to watch. There is an ice blue sash at the waist. She has added straps to the dress, which meet at the bodice with crystal brooches. Also, there are buttons on the back. It's cute, though now it seems a bit busy. Nora says she would love for her dress to be produced by Banana Republic, because everyone in her hometown shops there. In other words, Nora doesn't give a rat's ass if those poseurs carry her design.
Robert's dress is . It's an ice blue dress, knee-length, with leopard straps. Also, there are leopard panels in the skirt. This was a total mistake, and Robert seems aware. I wonder if he is aware that it's time to lose the cornrows. In an interview, Robert says that he can tell by the judges' reactions that he is at "the bottom of the barrel." The shape of the dress isn't hideous or anything, but the influences are too many and too varied. As well, the model, Josiane, is wearing a fur stole. Maybe Robert is using the "grandma's attic" theme. Maybe his grandma is Little Edie.
Heidi calls all of the designers onto the runway. The scores have been tallied. Alexandra, Wendy, Austin, Starr, Jay, and Robert have their names called and have to stand forward. The others leave the stage, because they haven't lost, but are not..."Newt"? Gingrich? Shit, is that the punishment for losing now? They call you Newt Gingrich? Oh. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Bravo needs to hook Heidi up with James Lipton for some diction lessons.
Heidi informs us that we are now down to "sixxxxxxx." Seriously, I thought my apartment had a gas leak, she hung onto that word for so long. I didn't notice until now, but Jay is wearing a nice sports coat, a gingham shirt, and a tie. He's really trying to sell it to the Banana. Of course, he has topped off the ensemble with a leather daddy hat, but let us give him some credit for trying. The models re-enter and stand by their designers. Austin is asked to explain his dress first. He says that he was interested in creating a winter floral party dress. All the while, Nina Garcia is shaking her head. Come on, Nina, the dress is not that bad. In fact, I like it a lot more than Kara Saun's dress. Nina asks Austin if the dress is connected to the crinoline petticoat action in the back, and he says that he didn't have time to do that. Nina is silent. I totally didn't expect this. The dress is really pretty! What about Kevin's dress? It's better? Maybe Austin's creation is a little too ornate or complicated. I don't know. I'm flummoxed.
Deborah Lloyd tells Alexandra that she loves her dress. Starr looks on at this exchange like a sad pound puppy. Alexandra adds that the dress is very comfortable. Her model, Erin, is somewhere else entirely and gives no backup to Alexandra's claim.
Wendy is asked to explain her dress. She says, "This, basically, for me, is the ideal dress for a young professional woman who is going to a cocktail party in the holiday time." Huh? What does "professional" have to do with anything? As well, Wendy always seems to have a sort of insane fury floating right under her surface. It scares the hell out of me. She makes a save though, by mentioning that she made the cape of her dress because other dresses in the Banana Republic collection have them. All of the judges nod feverishly. Heidi tiptoes around telling Wendy that, previously, her dresses seemed incomplete, but that this creation seems totally finished. By the way, watching Heidi Klum perform a verbal tiptoe is exhausting.
Michael Kors wants to talk to Starr about her dress. From the moment he opens his mouth, you can tell it's negative, and sure enough: "I have a hard time imagining that dress at Banana Republic." Of course, he doesn't mention that he wouldn't be caught dead in a Banana Republic, and that maybe that's the reason for the deficit in his imagination skills, but carry on. Michael feels that Starr's dress was like a costume. Starr counters that she shops at Banana Republic all the time and that she can imagine her dress there. Michael and Starr will meet up later for an imagine-off. It's gonna be really street. Nina wonders if Starr is really thinking of the typical BR customer. Deborah answers for her, saying that Starr's dress has a hard edge and seems like a court jester's outfit. Starr's mouth turns down severely during these comments. How does she pull off being a lawyer with such readable emotions?
Heidi mentions that the judges haven't talked about Jay's dress yet. Michael says that it fits Jay's model (Julia) like a dream. Jay is stunned to hear such praise. In fact, he has a kind of defensive posture, and I think he was maybe expecting them to say something nasty about the dress. Jay seems so happy to hear the compliments. It's kind of cool to see. Michael repeats, "It really fits her beautifully."
On to Robert. Michael goes. "This doesn't look like you!" He does not like the dress. It's cool, though, that he remembers that Robert has done better. He says that Robert's dress looks like a "pastiche of too much of what's happening out there right now." Robert gives a non-answer sort of description of the dress. Nina says she doesn't know what Robert's style is. She emphasizes that statement with an air Vulcan death grip move. Michael hates the brooch, saying, "We're dancing on the lip of the volcano." That's awesome. Deborah thinks that, in fact, Robert is in the volcano. Robert just nods.
The designers leave the stage, and the judges start deliberating. Michael thinks Austin gets a little too vintage. Nina wants him to come out of himself (though I'm not sure how much more Austin can come out). Deborah thinks that his dress looks too much like Austin. Nina adds that she doesn't think Austin's dress is marketable. Okay, this discussion seems so bizarre to me. The dress was beautiful! It was maybe a little dramatic, but these judges are acting like it was this alien thing that I just don't see. Heidi and Deborah like Alexandra. Nina and Michael do not. They like Wendy. They all hate Starr, except Heidi, who just seems confused by the dress. Understandable. Deborah mentions that in the color schemes for Banana Republic's collection, the blacks and the pinks are kept far apart. Starr, however, managed to put the farthest two colors together. Deborah gives Starr a small degree of praise by saying she really stuck to the art deco theme. Backstage, Starr is melting into the couch. Nina is totally surprised by Jay. The judges can't stop talking about his dress. Michael mentions Jay's shock at being complimented. Deborah commends his use of Chrysler Building imagery. When Heidi brings up Robert, Nina hangs her head and says, "Robert." That's hysterical. Then her blood pressure starts rising as they discuss how over-designed his dress was. "And! He had sequins on the leopard! Did you see that?!" Actually, I hadn't. That's hideous.
They bring the designers back onstage. Starr looks like she is going to cry. Commercials.
Jay is "in." But, not the winner. That kind of sucks. Austin is "in." He seems really relieved. Wendy is the winner. She is ecstatic. Nina says that, after "zoning in" on Wendy in the last weeks, she is really surprised by this week's design. Wendy leaves the stage. We hear her say in an interview that this is really huge for her. She starts crying: "Of course, it changed my life! How could it not?" Touching, but also weird. She seems angry while she is saying that. Again, I am met by the Wendy Pepper Dichotomy. I bet she is generally pretty kind in her normal life and just feels that the other designers will have other chances, but that this is HERS! That's still a mistake, but I just feel that she can't be this crazy villain. It's not like I love her or anything; I just don't think anyone could have been happier to win this challenge. Alexandra is "in." We're down to Starr and Robert. Starr is in a dark, dark place. According to Heidi's canned voice-over, Robert's piece lacked direction, while Starr's was too broad (as were her designs). Robert is in. He gives Starr a kiss and hug and she holds onto him and starts crying really hard. Heidi seems a little sad, while Deborah Lloyd seems to be relishing it a little bit. Robert leaves and goes backstage to hugs. Vanessa says of Starr, "She's going to have a nervous breakdown." Starr pulls herself together. Heidi finally finds a little tact and, instead of just telling Starr she's "out," says that the judges think she is talented, but are looking for someone more versatile. She shakes Starr's hand and says "Auf Wiedersehen." Starr repeats it back to her, holds herself, and walks offstage. Everyone hugs her backstage. Starr says in an interview that she didn't think this would be her time to go. As she is shown cleaning her workspace, we hear her say that this was a great opportunity for her. Good luck, Starr!
This season on Project Runway: all kinds of crazy shit. They show a huge trailer for the upcoming episodes: stupid Morgan apparently causes much more trouble. Nora and Kara Saun fight. Robert hurts his head. Wendy and Austin butt heads. Austin cries in front of the judges. The judges insult everyone. Can't wait!