Love Being A Designer

Aired 10-25-2012

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

The All-Stars this year.... I don’t know, at first it seems more like All-Bitches. You’ve got Joshua McKinley, who’s out of the gate with his ridiculous eyebrows and insult for Anya. So yeah, he’s still dead to me. Emilio Sosa, who had so much attitude during his season; Althea, from Season 6, who I don’t remember because I was spared her season; and Anthony Ryan from Season 9, who was actually pretty nice. Then, there’s Rayon from Season 5. We’re not ready for this. Ivy from Season 8 is here and I can’t tell if she’s gained self-awareness or not from her first little moments. Peach is there too! I so badly want her to be good at this. Casanova is there and he apparently works for Ivy. Hmm. Uli from Season 3! She looks amazing and I still remember how amazing her collection was. Everybody’s line is that they were robbed during their season. Kayne of Many Colors is with us again, as are his apparently multiple cosmetic procedures. Y’all, he does more than pageants. Andrae from Season 2! Hell. Yes. And Wendy Pepper. Andrae calls her a Disney villain, which is perfect. She’s still not here to make friends and all that.

Carolyn Murphy is the host! I LOVE HER. She looks gorgeous. She tells the designers that, in addition to the normal prizes, the winner will get flown to all of the various Fashion Weeks around the world. The total of all of the prizes is over $750 grand. Hello. Joanna Coles is the mentor again. God, everyone is wearing such ridiculous clothing to begin. Joanna tells them that they are going to be on teams for the first challenge. This is such great news. They pick their teams and Wendy is the last picked… or the not-picked. They have to make a cohesive collection as a team and the theme is attitudes. Althea is bossy. Her team is going with Bold as their attitude. Joshua’s team is Confident. Poor Peach gets pushed around immediately on Team Confident and I really wish she were able to throw that stuff off. Joanna also tells Anthony Ryan to not be crazy precious. She talks to Ivy about how she was a total bitch to her the last time she tried to talk to her and Ivy blames it on her personal life at the time. Ivy interviews that she was so stressed that she wasn’t herself.

Joshua is in love with Wendy Pepper. It has maybe softened her? Scary.

Laura and Andrae don’t really seem like they like each other. Casanova thought that Kayne’s look resembled a drag queen outfit.

On the runway, Carolyn introduces Georgina Chapman, Isaac Mizrahi and Rachel Roy. Mondo is also a judge. During the show, Emilio is great. So is Rayon? I don’t know, it was cool. Joshua’s look was acceptable. For the team, Ivy was OK. Wait- all of Team Confident was pretty cool, except for Kayne’s, which was pretty trashy. Uli’s look was gorgeous. Team Confident is the winner! Casanova and Anthony Ryan have the highest scores! Laura, on the other team, had the actual highest score on her team.

Georgina loved the lace and leather of Casanova’s look, though they wished it had been younger. The judges think that Rayon’s skirt was sloppy. Peach gets assassinated by the judges for not speaking up more. They HATE Andrae’s look. Ultimately, Mondo argues for Andrae’s argument for his garment, which was cool. In the end, Anthony Ryan was the winner. Rayon is safe, which is totally lame. Andrae gets to continue and poor Peach has to go home. Boo.

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The dust has yet to settle on Dmitry's Project Runway win and we're already back for some all-star action. And we begin with Joshua McKinley, who appears to be wearing a satin leopard-print jacket. You didn't know that leopards came in satin, did you? Well, now you do. Maybe this is unfair, but I don't have to see much more than Joshua, all lacquered hair and tweezed eyebrows and spray-tanned to within an inch of his life, popping the non-existent collar on his satin leopard-print jacket to remember just how much I disliked him on his season. Just the most ungracious unaware dude. He interviews that winning Project Runway: All-Stars would validate him because it would be an admission from the judges that they didn't get their decision right the first time. Oh, I see, we're going to start out like that. I really can't stand this guy. He just doesn't get it. He also says that he's back to give the judges "the ol' razzle bedazzle." I guess he's trying to brand his penchant for adorning everything. Yeah, be proud of that, you nitwit. Seriously, he makes me want to go into P.R. or be an image consultant or something. Someone could fix this guy. He has considerable talent and it's satisfying to watch him work because he's pretty competent. Aside from the fact that I'm not really crazy about his aesthetic, his main problem is that he looks like an idiot and he spews bullshit all of the time.

Emilio Sosa is . I'm only being honest that I don't remember a lot of specific moments with Emilio. I remember that he was incredibly talented though a challenging personality. He reminds us that he won the most challenges during his season. His object for being here is winning the whole competition. He reminds us that he has been in theatre for 25 years and is Tony-nominated. Well, that's pretty huge in my book.

is Althea Harper from Season 6. I was on the road that season and Al Lowe was recapping, so I'm not really familiar with her. She has a lot of really shiny and meticulously curled hair. She tells us that she was just out of the college when she was last on the show and she has learned a lot more about who she is as a designer. Here's Anthony Ryan from Season 9. I can't really remember if he and Joshua got along well or not. He says that he should have gone further in his season and people should not underestimate him.

Sweet Jesus, what is Suede, aka "Rayon", doing here? He looks ridiculous. He's got all of this super precious facial hair that is dyed purple. Guys, I can't even. He tells us that "Suede is ready to rock the freaking frock." First of all, I go back to this idea -- why would anyone, ANYONE, wear clothes made by someone who put themselves together in such a way as Rayon here does? I mean, what is his objective? What IS the object? If it's a tony Park Avenue society doyenne as a client, well, then, he's doing every possible wrong thing that can be done. If it's celebrity, then... well done? I don't know. Seriously, I can't.

By Jeff Long | Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2012.10.25

Laura from Season 9 is here too. She seems kind of bitter. She says that she was robbed during her season and would have kicked ass had she been able to show a collection. I wonder if there's any correlation between my adoration of Anya and the bitterness of the people from her season. Anya seems to have stoked an unusual amount of ire from her competitors and I wonder if those same qualities that angered the others are part of why I love her so much. I do think that her sort of casual elegance and inability to truly be ruffled maybe read as some sort of Forest Gump thing and they felt like stuff was just being handed to her.

Ivy, from Season 8, is here. What a nightmare that bitch was. We see a montage of her being a total asshole to people. She says that it's important for her to stay focused and she thinks she could win this. She also plans on eating the entrails of at least three other designers. Then, she greets Casanova, from Season 8, as well as Peach! I love Peach. Such a sweet gal. Peach interviews that she didn't really hit it off with Ivy during the competition, but they have since become friends. Ivy can't believe that Casanova didn't tell her that he was going to be in this competition -- he has been working as her assistant. Well, I think it goes without saying that If Casanova goes further than Ivy, he will essentially have won himself out of a job. Casanova is surprised that Ivy is there too, because he wasn't expecting to compete against his boss.

OK, the competition has begun! Here's Uli from Season 3. I have to say, other than maybe Jillian in Season 5 and maybe now Fabio from Season 10, Uli's is the best losing collection in the history of this show. She tells us that being runner-up felt like a slap in the face. OK, this is a theme. Everyone's acting like they've got a score to settle from their original time on the show. Uli doesn't really strike me as someone that would hold onto a lot of stuff. She looks adorable and says that she has some unfinished business and wants to show what she can do.

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

Andrae Gonzalo is back from the Red Lobster and on this season of Project Runway: All-Stars! Yay! This is such god news! I missed Andrae. In fact, this past weekend, before Hurricane Sandy bitch slapped NYC, I had the pleasure of convening with several TWoP recappers past and present, including Joe R, Lauren S, Al Lowe, Djb and Sars at a gay musical theatre piano bar (I know -- why do I need to use so many words that all mean the same thing?) in the West Village when, who should walk in? It's Andrae! TWoP, showtunes and Andrae -- how we all got out of it alive is beyond me. Andrae says that he feels like this is a chance to, hopefully, get everything right. That doesn't sound terribly optimistic, does it?

All of the designers convene at the entrance of Parsons and Casanova is super excited that Emilio is part of the competition. That's cool to see some admiration from at least one of the designers. Rayon shows up and appears to think that his hair being purple is some sort of event. Emilio says that both Uli and Ivy are amazing and he's going to have to make amazing work to compete with them. Wow, this is nice. Uli thinks that Althea and Emilio are her biggest competition.

Then, guys. Guys! It's Wendy Pepper. Holy shit, it's Wendy Pepper. This seriously makes my heart beat a little fast. Joshua is beyond thrilled to see her, which explains a lot. Kayne of Many Colors reminds us that she was the bitch in Season 1. Andrae describes her as a Disney villainess, which is quite apt. Wendy interviews that she has waited eight years but is back to right the great wrong of her not winning the first time. She doesn't believe that either. Luckily, she pulls out the old trope of not being here to make friends, which, seriously, I just can't hear enough. When I look at people for the first time, I'm immediately very concerned with what side of the friends vs. no more friends debate they are on. I pay no attention to how they are as people -- I just need a "friend" or "no more friends" and then I know. And, then, we're either friends or not. I don't really have any power in the decision. That's where fucking Wendy Pepper really just has my number. Bitch gets me. She also tells us to fasten our seat belts, which I never do. Lord, can you imagine the shenanigans that Wendy Pepper is capable of in the name of trying to reclaim some sort of relevance? I'm personally worried for Andrae.

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

The designers make their way to the runway and are seated beside it when they are greeted by this season's host, Carolyn Murphy! I love this woman. I think she's so gorgeous. And, she used to date the dude from Incubus, which, not taking their music into consideration, was like the score of the decade. That guy was hot. She tells them that there will never be any immunity in the challenges. She goes through the list of prizes, which include that guest editorship at Marie Claire and a trip to all of the big Fashion Weeks in the world. That's cool. It's ton of prizes worth nearly a million dollars.

They go to the roof of some random building and Joanna Coles is there to greet them. She tells them right off the bat that they will be working in teams. Rayon is not happy about this and foresees a clash. She pulls two names from the button bag -- Kayne of Many Colors and Joshua and they will be choosing the first members of their respective teams. Joshua reminds us that he was not great at being a team player in his season and we see him yelling at that poor frumpy girl as Anya is trying to comfort her. Joanna tells them that there are no team captains, they merely get to choose first.

Kayne chooses Uli. Joshua chooses Peach, which seems like an odd choice. He interviews that he didn't want to be obvious and choose someone from his season. Uli chooses Casanova. Peach chooses Laura. Casanova chooses Ivy, which seems like it wasn't really his choice. Laura chooses Emilio. Ivy chooses Althea. Andrae is about to lament how this is like not being picked for the kickball team when Emilio tells him to pay attention because he's choosing him. Althea chooses Anthony Ryan, which leaves Wendy and Rayon. They're perfect together. Andrae chooses Rayon, which means that Anthony Ryan is sort of stuck with Wendy. But, that's cool because she's not there to make friends. She interviews quite rationally that it's sort of embarrassing to appear to be a person that no one wants on their team, which is the perpetual mind-fuck with Wendy. She seems so sort of processed, but she's so relentlessly nasty and clueless at the same time.

Joanna tells them that they will be working together to create a mini collection. The theme will be "attitude," like the Linda Dano talk show. Hey! Each team will be given a list of attitudes to choose from, or they can choose their own. They need a list of attitudes? Each designer will be responsible for their own look, but each team must have a cohesive collection. The winning look will come from the winning team and the eliminated designer will come from the losing team.

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

Both teams separate and move towards easels. "Maybe they've given us options," sing-songs Andrae as he leads his team while walking backwards. There are these bulletin boards with different words on them. Words that are also attitudes. Casanova likes provocative and Althea kinda steamrolls him and says that she likes it too but in order to be provocative you have to be confident (not true), so why don't they just choose confident. Anthony Ryan interviews that she's an aggressive big mouth. She interviews that she doesn't trust anyone on the team well enough to let them take the lead. On the other team, Andrae is sort of free-associating and it seems to be annoying Miss Type A Laura Kathleen Hateful. The edit makes this look like they're really having a lot of problems choosing a word. I wish they'd choose something that's like a really bad attitude, like passive-aggressive or narcissistic. Maybe non-communicative. Uncharitable? They end up going with bold, which I guess is good.

Team Confident decides that they want to use leather and lace for their collection, though Anthony Ryan doesn't seem really jazzed about it. He mentions in a sort of pouty way that everyone chose dresses, so he's going to make separates. He has focused on this aesthetic that is accessible high-fashion. Rayon tells us that "Suede" is going to make -- so I had to rewind it because I completely blacked out after he called himself by the name that isn't truly his birth name in the first place. He's going to make something structured. He explains his aesthetic as rock and roll and street and classy. Those things really go together, so great.

At Mood, everyone greets it like an old friend. For whatever reason, Uli announces in an interview that she no longer just makes flowing dresses. She also makes stuff that you can wear in cities. Emilio says that the color blue is the only thing that Team Bold can agree on.

They get back to the workroom and everyone is impressed with the new digs. Ivy is happy with the Brother sewing machines in particular. She makes a car analogy regarding her shitty sewing machine at home. Althea tells her team that they need to work so that they will have an hour or two left at the end of the day and Wendy interviews that her nickname for Althea is Miss Bossypants. Razor-sharp analysis there, courtesy of Pepper.

Team Bold is discussing what each designer will present for the runway. Peach is describing her design and Andrae suggests that maybe her design isn't "bold" enough. She interviews that her confidence diminished after he said that. Oh no. This doesn't look good. Poor Peach. I wonder if she's just not made for this sort of environment.

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

Joanna comes in and tells the designers that she is excited to be back in the workroom. She starts her consultations with Team Bold and Rayon in particular. Kayne of Many Colors says that Rayon's design looks like student work. She tells Andrae that she is worried that he may be playing it safe and he responds, "Oh, Geez!" Amazing. Peach explains to Joanna that she is a tennis wear designer. I guess she's not interested in impressing her. She tells Joanna that she makes tennis wear that can go from the courts to the rest of the day and Joanna stifles a puke. She hates this. Peach says that she's working to adapt her aesthetic so that she doesn't stand out badly in a group challenge and Joanna suggests that Peach feels as if she's out of her depth. I don't think these people really know how to mentor Peach properly. She needs a different touch. Joanna suggests to Emilio that his look might be a winner but his team isn't.

She moves on to Team Confident where she first suggest to Anthony Ryan that he edit the leather bow tie that was originally part of his look. She's done us all a service there. Anthony Ryan has no qualms about changing his plan for her. She tells Ivy that she was nervous to meet her because she was such a bitch on her season. Those kid gloves look simply MAH-velous on you, Joanna. Never change. Ivy agrees with her and says that she was a total asshole. Then, she interviews that she was going through a lot at the time. She had put all of her savings into starting her business and she was unable to pay her bills. She actually volunteered at a soup kitchen because she couldn't afford groceries for herself. That's pretty intense and makes me feel really bad for her. She adds that sometimes, when a person is under that much stress, it can make them act out of character. Again, that also makes a lot of sense. I'm totally on the bygones train right now and am ready to chug chug chug into a new day with a new Ivy. Shoot me for that last sentence, somebody please. Also, I was kidding earlier when I said I never wear a seatbelt. They're very important. So is a nice cold beer on your drive home. I'm preaching!

Joanna tells Wendy that she felt badly for her earlier when she didn't get chosen for a team. Wendy tells her that, when something like that happens to her, it just empowers her to try harder. Uli tells her that she's thinking of putting these spike things on her garment and Joanna says that it makes her think of a stegosaurus. OK. She tells Kayne of Many Colors that she feels that his look combines Catwoman and Lady Gaga. Please let there be like an enormous beef between Kayne of Many Colors and Rayon. PLEASE! I'm begging here! She thinks that Casanova's look is maybe slutty. Althea says that she thinks her look will be the winning design. Her problem is that she's humorless. Wendy Pepper is at least somewhat aware of how ridiculous her whole thing is and she seems to secretly get a kick out of it. Althea farts dust and bores me.

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

After Joanna leaves, Andrae interviews that he's having a hard time figuring out who his woman is. He's worried that he's in trouble. The models come in for fittings! Things go well enough. Afterwards, they finish up and go home, which is the penthouse of Night Hotel. They have a champagne toast and everyone sort of dotes on Wendy. Then, Rayon leads a round of applause for her, saying that she paved the way for all of them (which I think is overstating things just a little bit). She's pretty touched by it, especially since she came there to "mow down" all of them. So cuddly, that one.

The morning, they're all back in the workroom and everyone seems fairly confident. Anthony Ryan says that you have to watch out for the quiet ones, primarily Emilio and Uli. I too would say that they seem to be the major competition in this group. The models come in and are sent through hair and make-up. No one dies. Andrae asks for help from Emilio polishing his look and he interviews that Andrae is not great with time management. He kind of ticks Laura off in the process. Kayne of Many Colors is sewing until the last minute. Casanova says that his dress looks like it should be in a drag show. And? Uli thinks that Rayon's dress is like a bunch of napkins. Emilio remembers that they are only as strong as their weakest link, which makes him nervous.

On the runway, Carolyn greets the designers and introduces Georgina Chapman, Isaac Mizrahi and Rachel Roy. I like Rachel Roy. The guest judge is Mondo. Boo. He says that he's not sure if maybe he's more nervous than the designers. Whatever. They should get Anya! Especially since so many of them hate her.

The show begins with Team Bold and Emilio's look is first. It's a midnight blue dress that is super fitted with a very large v in front and what looks like a black bandeau top. It's really cool and sexy, though not incredibly expensive. That's the thing I remember about Emilio. Everything is made impeccably and with considerable design involved, but...I just don't really like it.

Peach's look is . It's a black dress with blue poking out at the ends of her sleeves in a slouchy way. The neckline is low and I think I see some finishing problems. I kind of like the slouchy effect, but the rest of the design doesn't support that idea. Peach herself says that she doesn't feel like it was her best effort, but she did the best that she could at the time. Andrae's look is and it's got some real drama working for it. It's a draped halter thing in black and blue with these tulle wings, which is awesome. I forgot the drama in his clothing, which I actually really appreciate. He's not super proud of this but he likes that he finished it. That's something!

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

Rayon's look is a black and blue dress these tiers of funnel shapes on the skirt. It's a pretty retro silhouette. Sort of early '20s. Rayon loves it and mentions himself in the third-person. Earlier, when I said that someone should shoot me, I was kidding. But, Rayon...? I'm implying nothing there. But, I mean....

Laura's look is and it's an evening look. The skirt is floor length and black and the top is flared a little bit a the waist with little cap sleeves. It's blue with a little rectangle of black right at the center of the neckline. Laura feels very happy with it. Man, she has gotten more and more sour the longer we've been exposed to her. She just sounds so crabby right now.

Josh's look is certainly bold. It's a two-piece look. Black, flowing high-waisted pants are coupled with this midriff baring black top that has a low neckline and these architectural billowing blue accents at the boob. The back is all straps. This shit is bananas, but I kind of admire it a lot.

Team Confident is up and Ivy's look is first. It's a white top and black hot pants. There this cow spot thing going on on the sleeves and waist that create a really slimming illusion. The jacket could probably be fitted a little more and I can't exactly figure out where this would be worn, but it's not the worst. Althea's look is and I'm not a fan but my roommate thinks it's cute and I could see her wearing it and she's a fox, so I'm gonna say yes. It's this long black look that has black lace at the bodice with a racer stripe in the back. The lace can seem a little crazy to me really quick, but, again, I think I see the woman who would be wearing this. Althea likes what she did and whatever.

Casanova successfully avoided the slutty slope with his dress. It's really cute. It's fitted black leather with lace at the shoulders. The lace also creates a really elegant frame for the bare back. He thinks it's sleek and flawless. He's very happy with it. Anthony Ryan's look is . It's cute. It's a white and black high-necked blouse with a lace back and white slacks. He thinks that the back of the blouse will really give a surprise to the judges. I think this look is really cool. Everything from the length of the blouse, which just brushes the top of the slacks, to the cut which is not form-fitting- it's all really cool. Uli tells him that it's perfect as his girl is walking. Wendy's look is and it's a cocktail dress in black. It's really interesting. It's short with an architectural half-coat sort of effect that has these blade-like protrusions at the neckline. Also, there's lace at the waist and it's all very elegant. Wendy says that she's proud of the look and the collection that it's a part of. She's so happy to be back.

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

Kayne of Many Color's dress(?) is and it's actually a black catsuit with a giant train. There's also lace all over it including the neck of the model. I don't know. I don't hate it, but I seriously think that it's of questionable taste. It is confident. Uli's dress is here and it's gorgeous but not at all "new Uli" like she's trying to sell. It's a draped thing in white with a black lace collar and rectangular halter. It's still gorgeous though.

After the show, Carolyn tells Team Confident that they are the winners. Casanova, Anthony Ryan and Ivy had the top scores. The bottom scores from Team Bold are Rayon, Peach and Andrae. She also tells Laura that she had the high score on her team. All of the remaining designers leave the stage and the models for the high and low scorers return to the stage.

Georgina loves the back on Casanova's dress. Rachel and Isaac think that the length should have been longer. Mondo doesn't think it's very exciting. Georgina loves the lace on Ivy's jacket, as does Rachel. Carolyn's not into the jacket. Isaac isn't wild about the shorts, but Mondo likes them. Georgina loves the lace on the back of Anthony Ryan's look. Rachel and Isaac love the white pants.

Mondo tells Rayon that his ideas are working against each other. Isaac likes the skirt but hates the top. Carolyn likes the top (the shoulders are breast cups) but hates the skirt. Georgina thinks that he made two different dresses. Peach tells the judges that she touched fabrics that she hasn't seen since she learned to sew in 4th grade. Isaac says that he was hoping that she would say something to make him like the dress more but she has only made it worse. "Isaac, come onnnn," she replies. This is uncomfy. He says that the sleeves are sloppy and she didn't even get the best part of her design right. Mondo tells her that she doesn't have to mother everyone. Poor Peach. Andrae is a good talker. Carolyn says that she doesn't get what the look actually even is. She's so adorable. They all think his look is way too complicated.

The designers go backstage while the judges confer. Andrae says that the judges are cool. The judges liked the freshness of Casanova's use of leather and lace, but not the length of his dress. They think that Anthony Ryan's look was young and fresh, while they weren't wild about the fit of the pants. The jury is out on whether Ivy's jacket was a success or not.

They thought that Rayon's dress was a mess, but they appreciated the surplus of ideas present. Rachel says that Peach's dress was a mess. She says that, if you can't sew a simple dress correctly, you should start adding hankies like Rayon did. Isaac LOVES this. They were confused by Andrae's dress, but Mondo and Isaac give him props for not apologizing for it and generally being a good spokesman for himself. Their decision is made.

| Season AS2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.25.2012

The designers return to the stage. Carolyn tells Casanova that he is safe. Then, she tells Anthony Ryan that he is the winner of the challenge! Good for him. Ivy is safe as well. Rayon is safe. Wendy gives him a big hug backstage. I never thought I'd see that. Onstage, Carolyn tells Andrae that he is...in. She's sorry to tell Peach that she's out. Andrae feels horrible and Peach says that it's fine. Carolyn wishes her the best and Peach says that it was an honor to be there. As she's packing up her workspace (I'm not sure how she knew to that since Joanna didn't lead her away), she recalls this Steve Jobs quote about how lucky people like their jobs, most people do what they have to do and a precious few get to do what they love. She says that she loves being a designer. Well, I for one could have used that attitude on my television screen for at least a few weeks longer. Bye, Peach!

Jeff Long is a writer/performer living in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong.