Microwaved Haute Couture

Aired 01-12-2012

| Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2012

Badgley and Mischka (who are surprisingly totally American?) arrive and challenge the all-stars to make some haute couture evening wear that would be worn to the opera... in a day. Austin immediately feels the throw of the gauntlet and feels that he has to do something spectacular. Once again, Michael and April choose the same materials for their looks. Michael switches colors, though April thinks that it doesn't matter since their aesthetics are so different. Then, she dyes part of her fabric (in an attempt to achieve the Corpse Bride look she's going for) and everyone murmurs that this could be the end of April. Joanna wonders if she's wasting time with dyeing.

Sweet P is feeling a little down after being in the bottom two during the challenge. She worries that it makes her look like a loser. Her dress has the same silhouette as her dress from last week. She doesn't seem very excited about it when she shows it to Joanna. After her consultation, she spends most the day trying to adorn (and correct?) the bodice on her look.

Mila praises Michael for working really quickly. It just feels weird considering people only seem to condescend to him normally. Jerell thinks what he's making looks tacky, but Joanna tells him that it's dramatic and she doesn't make it sound like she thinks that's a bad thing. She does wonder though if he has considered how a woman will feel actually wearing the dress and he admits to not thinking about that.

Austin is feeling a lot of pressure and it has the result of making him less mannered in his mode of personal style. He's super cute in the workroom that day. Mila feels that his dress is a little plain.

Kara is out of her element. She doubts herself so much that it costs her a lot of time. Joanna suggests that her dress may be more bridal than evening (she also throws the same critique to Anthony), but she doesn't make a lot of adjustments.

At the show, a lot of the dresses are lovely. Rami pulls out his drape action, finally. Sweet P's look has none of the adornment she was talking about, though it seems to fit well. Frankly, I thought that Anthony's dress was a knockout. Michael's dress was really impressive too. For me, only Sweet P and Kara lacked punch and they weren't horrible.

After the show, Sweet P, Kara, Anthony, Michael, Austin and April were the top and bottom. They love the vamp of Anthony's dress. They find April's dress problematic, though interesting. They think that Sweet P's dress seems like a prom dress, not for the opera. Austin gets the typical praise. Kara gets in trouble for not putting enough personality into her dress. Isaac is stunned that Michael's dress is so perfect after only a day of work. Seriously, the judges loooove it. Angela even says that she wants to wear it. Anthony's safe and happy. Austin wins the challenge! Michael is in. Kara is safe, which brings us to Sweet P and April. April is... in. Ah, Sweet P! This sucks for her.

Previously: The all-stars were revealed. Elisa, who, bless her heart, seems like the sweetest girl, was just not meant for this world of creating clothes that people want to wear in order to look good. She has a bright future in sandwich board-making, and more power to her. But, alas, she was the first all-star to dim. Rami won the first challenge! Sweet P, who I was also glad to see return, was in the bottom two as well and history shows that she has a habit of spiraling, so let's hope that she'll be able to pull this out.

So, I guess as all-stars they're not required to put on a little show at the Flatotel each morning regarding who they hate and how they're sad to see the person eliminated but this is a competition and they're all-stars and plates must be stepped up to and throwing under buses must occur. Frankly, as the late Tim Gunn would say, I enjoy the seriousness of purpose implied by that. We're supposed to be excited about what fashions these guys are going to make as opposed to the drama. Granted, we've got Jerell and Kenley on board, but mouth-flapping as both may be, they proved themselves as competitive in their season. In fact, if Kenley hadn't been such a raging a-hole, I probably would have rooted for her more solidly. Her stuff is pretty cute. But, still, it's like saying that Satan has a good way with fire.

Anyway, we're on the runway and Angela, who scares me with how casual and lovely she is, greets the designers and tells them that this challenge is all about creating a showstopping high-end frou-frou. Anthony makes this sound in reply that's half laugh-like/half defiant and April looks at him with glee.

Angela says that the guest judges for this week know all about the requirements of the challenge. They are Mark Badgley and James Mischka! Wow. Austin says that he has always imagined that his career would be modeled after theirs. I guess he confused them with Lauren Conrad somewhere along the line. James and Mark tell them that the challenge is "A Night at the Opera." Wow. I always just assumed those guys were German or something. That seems weird now, considering that their dresses are really beautiful and German's perpetually, when they are trying to achieve high fashion, look like they are either rying to punish someone or make some money to pay the gas bill. Yeah, that's right. Anyway, these guys are totally, like, American-ish. Maybe Canadian? I'm not even going to Google it. This is freestyle, kids. Anyway, the guys with all of the consonants want the designers to create a couture dress meant to be worn to the opera, which is a big deal. In New York City, you see people pull out their most amazing, most vulgar clothing for the opera. It's truly remarkable. Kara says that evening wear is not her "Papoom" moment, however it is Austin's "Papoom" moment. You are heard, Kara. Did her accent get thicker? Jerell says that he has a lot of respect for Austin but that sweet bird of youth is going to have to bring it because he's going to bring it too and there will be a reckoning of all of the things that have been brought. Wow, they're really setting us up for a huge Austin win or a mighty downfall. It's like The Art of Fielding. God help me if I don't reference that book every paragraph. It's haunting me. They will have a budget of $350 and only one day to make the dress. Austin is freaking because in the real-like world you would have months to put together a couture gown. Angela jokes that they couldn't make it too easy for them and Jerell responds, "Of course not. All-stars!" Guys. I can't.

| Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2012

Baguette and Mira Sorvino escort Angela off the stage and the designers commence to designing. Michael thinks that Georgina is going to steal his dress right off of the runway. OK, sure. April wants to show the judges that she can work with a color other than black, not that black is a color. Sweet P says that it was crappy being in the bottom two during the last challenge because she feels like it makes her look like a loser. I guess she has a point there. Mondo reminds us that he doesn't really design before going to Mood. He finds fabrics that are calling to him, he buys them and then he listens to what they have to say about whatever thing he should design. He's the Fabric Whisperer, which is a stupid joke and kind of accurate. They head to Mood with 30 minutes to shop. Kenley sees a fabric that is so "her, so girly," but she doesn't find as much as she needs. April buys red! Crazy! Michael decides he's going to go red too and freaks out when he sees April's choice. She continues with her argument from last week about the fact that they have completely different aesthetics, so no one's is going to really care, but he cares.

They get back to the workroom and start working. Heh, there's a blown-up cover of Marie Claire Lea Michele on the cover. That's funny to me. Kara points out that everyone is being very quiet because they recognize that everyone around them is competition. Everyone is shocked to see that April is dyeing the bottom of her fabric. She tells that, while she does gowns, she does them in a Corpse Bride sort of way. So it's going to be funky. Austin thinks it's risky to dye something when you only have a day to make the complete piece. Mila thinks that she's sabotaging herself and good riddance and Mondo wonders if this is just the sort of mistake that could send her home.

Sweet P thinks that Austin really has an edge with this challenge, since he is so evening wear-focused. He tells us that this is the last challenge that he would want to screw up. Michael interviews that couture has to be really special and he's trying to respect that idea, even though he only has a day. He's working on this really fancy collar and Mila comments in an interview that she thinks it's smart of him to finish the main interest of his look first. She also mentions that he seems to be able to work very quickly.

Here's Joanna in lovely teal jacket. Kenley remarks that she is excited about Joanna being their mentor because she is an actual editor of a magazine. Does anyone feel like that was a dig at Tim Gunn? You're not the only one. Whatever, somebody pushed her to say that, there is NO WAY that she thinks it's a good idea for her socially or professionally to look as a snotty a bitch as she was during her season on the show. Sweet Jesus, she was a nightmare. Joanna asks Rami who he thinks his biggest competition for this challenge is and he says that it's Austin, whose ears of course perk up. She asks Austin what he's going to do to impress the judges and he admits to being nervous. He says that he wants to show off the figure at the same time as being dramatically voluminous. April describes her design for Joanna and it has a really ambitious quality in terms of movement- a bunch of triangle insets are supposed to give it a flounce-y mermaid effect. April tells us that she hasn't even considered a Plan B. OK. Joanna wonders if Michael's dress is wearable and he admits to not even considering it. Jerell vamps that a nip slip is tacky. Shut up. Wow, I'm really reacting strongly to him and I didn't expect that. At first, I saw him and I was like, fine, it's Jerell, whatever, we're on OK terms. But, I guess there's baggage.

| Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2012

Joanna asks Kara what made her choose her fabric (it's light and floral) and wonders if it's maybe a bit too pastel. April thinks it's not appropriate for nighttime and I guess she has a point there. She says it's a summertime picnic sort of dress. Joanna tells Kara that she needs to be careful to not make a bridesmaid dress. Ouch. Kara looks completely nonplussed. Sweet P tells Joanna that, being true to herself, she's making a gown with a lot of colors. she's going to use feathers on the bodice but isn't sure where yet. Jerell says that the silhouette of her dress is the same as she used for the last challenge, where she was in the bottom. That doesn't necessarily spell doom, but it's not like it screams success, either.

Anthony describes his cream-colored dress for Joanna and she wants to know what's going to differentiate it from bridal wear. He says that a bride wouldn't wear the plunging neckline nor the exposed back of his dress. He says that with a lot of confidence. I'm buying it. Joanna says that she's excited to see something really special from him. She wishes everyone luck before she leaves.

Rami, who is improbably beefier since the season he was on the show, says that it's nice to get validation from Joanna. Everyone thinks that he's a solid guy who doesn't need any pats on the back, but he's only a human. A human made of granite -- seriously, he should consider a second career as a trainer on The Biggest Loser -- but a human nonetheless.

Everybody gets back to work. Sweet P seems really nervous, as well she should be. What do you think the problem with Sweet P is? Do you think she's just not made for this sort of competitive environment? I really don't believe that she's untalented and even when the designers are doing that thing where they talk smack about the other people in the room, they never really bag on Sweet P all that much, but, geez, she always seems in danger. I can't really remember her ever not being in the bottom. I'm sure there was some sort of group challenge where she got to be a part of a winning group, but she is just not a winner. It looks like Kara isn't doing so well either. That said, Kara is still the only designer in the history of this show whose clothes I've seen on an actual person. She made these really lovely wrap dresses that were super flattering and colorful. I'm sorry for her that they didn't sell more. Mondo says that she seems like the worst designer in the room right now. It's just not her "Papoom" moment, Mondo. He says that she spends so much time doubting herself that she doesn't finish what she needs to work on. Kara says that she feels like she's in a pressure cooker and you see her holding onto her dress form like she's afraid she's going to slip off the face of the planet.

By Jeff Long | Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 2012.01.12

| Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2012

Rami's gown is . It's an off-the-shoulder number that is fitted to below the hips, then there's some of that expert Rami draping. There's a lot of structure in the top of the dress, little panels and pleatings and it looks like it took a lot of effort. The thing is, the dress is fuschia? I don't really like that. Rami hopes that the judges see the work he put into the look.

Here's Mila's look. With silk crepe, silk velvet and tulle, She made a strapless black gown. Very simple silhouette. Some tulle over one shoulder. There appears to be some beading on the bodice but nothing spectacular. Mila acknowledges that it's neither romantic nor feminine, two of the things they asked for, but hopes that the judges like it anyway.

Sweet P's gown is a high-waisted, voluminous skirt in a floral print, with a coral halter top. And there are none of the feathers that she was showing to Joanna! Boo! I really liked those. This dress is not very special. Sweet P seems really happy with it though.

Mondo's dress is , it's this short silver dress with a circular collar at the neckline and a long train. Very January Jones. Mondo says that he felt inspired by the opera.

Jerell is . His look is made with gold leaf khaki and power mesh. It's essentially empire waisted, with a ruffle that plunges a little. It's sleeveless. It's dark and moody and pretty. He's really happy with it.

Kara's look is . It's just a strapless gown in a floral print with a black belt. It's not ugly, but it is very, very simple.

Anthony's dress is and it's a knockout. It's white and asymmetrical and plunging and sexy. It's funny, Mila mentioned that she wanted to ape Angelina Jolie with her model's make-up, but this dress would be perfect for Angie. He says that his model looks like she's part of the "Anthony L. Williams Experience."

Here's Austin's gown of gold lame and black tulle. It's super fitted and there are criss-crossing straps at the shoulders and waist that hold long panels of black tulle. It's very Bauhaus-era. Gorgeous and industrialist.

Here's April's gown. It's bright red with a dyed black bottom. I really love the length and the color. It's one-shouldered and the panels that she created look a little labored and she knows it. I kind of like it though. April is worried because she can see imperfections on the runway.

Here's Michael's look. It's a very fitted black dress with a neck piece of feathers and crystals. There's also a belt of crystals that covers the bare skin of the model's back, where the dress plunges. This is so dramatic and fun. He, of course, is very happy with it.

| Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2012

All of the designers return to the stage. Anthony, April, Sweet P, Michael, Austin and Kara have the highest and lowest scores. They start with Anthony's dress, which they all love. Georgina thinks that the black gloves may have been a bit too much. B and M love it. They move on to April. Isaac wonders if the opera might be the wrong moment to pull out your ombré technique. Badgely thinks that the bodice looks tortured and he personally hates red and black together. Angela thinks that the cut of the dress is interesting. Georgina loves the color and thinks that the execution was the problem. ONE DAY, people. Sweet P says that she was shooting for ball gown, but Isaac thinks it's more prom dress. Angela, at least, liked the color but no one liked the cut. They are totally digging Austin's look. Isaac likes how modest it is. Kara says that she doesn't usually go for prints, but she says she liked the idea of a print in the evening. Isaac says that he loves the idea of a simple straightforward ball gown, but everything else has to be perfect and she had imperfections. Michael says he tried to make a showstopper. Isaac thinks it's perfect and he's stunned that he made it in a day. He likes it for the opposite reasons he liked Austin's- it's immodesty at the opera. They all love the strap of crystals on the back. Georgina loved the use of fabric.

The judges confer. They think that April made a lot of mistakes, but they like her ambition. Georgina thinks that Sweet P's bodice should have been made from the same fabric as the skirt. She also thought Kara's dress was boring (Angela agreed) but Badgely loved it. They all loved Anthony's, though they found the accessories a little heavy-handed. Austin's gown gets kudos for its tastefulness. They loved Michael's dress too, though Isaac says that you do see a lot of dresses like that. Georgina thought it showed a lot of personality.

The decision has been made! The designers return to the stage. Anthony is safe. The winner is Austin! He's thrilled. He tells the judges that this challenge means a lot to him personally. Michael gets kudos too and is sent away. Kara is safe. It's down to April and Sweet P. This is sad -- I love both of them. Angela congratulates April for her ambition, but thinks that she should have managed her time better. They think that Sweet P should have trusted her initial vision. April is...in. Poor Sweet P! April goes backstage and starts crying. Angela wishes Sweet P the best and it's weird because I really believe her. Sweet P interviews that meeting the other designers was the best part of this experience. She's the best!

By Jeff Long | Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 2012.01.12

Mondo's dress is , it's this short silver dress with a circular collar at the neckline and a long train. Very January Jones. Mondo says that he felt inspired by the opera.

Kara's look is . It's just a strapless gown in a floral print with a black belt. It's not ugly, but it is very, very simple.

By Jeff Long | Season AS1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 2012.01.12

Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed at Twitter at @jblong.