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This episode is all over the map, with about 37 different storylines and almost not connection between any of them. First up is Addison. She has a patient, Lily, who's dying of ovarian cancer. Lily's okay with it, except that she can't leave Milo, her cat. When Addison steps up to cat-sit while she has treatment, Lily's finally at peace knowing Addison will keep Milo. Lily's oncologist asks Addison out and she says yes, but we never get to see the coffee date. And, in the end, Addison and Sam toast to crazy cat ladies/Cat Woman. They're sort of the same thing.
up are Pete and Violet, who are dealing with a depressed woman and her fiancée. Violet recommends electroshock therapy, which causes her to forget her fiancée completely. She remembers every other detail of her life, though, so Violet thinks something bad must have happened involving the fiancée. Turns out it didn't, and she's just pretending not to remember him so he'll go away, because he's too nice. Violet and Pete go along with her to see him, and give the fiancée a speech about letting go. And how happy she is now makes it seem that we (and Pete) were supposed to take it to mean Pete and Violet are over. Oh, he's better off anyway.
Charlotte, meanwhile, can't get any patients. She gives vibrators to the Oceanside ladies for letting her join the practice, then she does nothing but whine about not having patients. Cooper gets on a chat room and sends one to her, but that pisses her off, so she yells at him in front of one of his patients, a kid. Then they talk later and she realizes it's okay if he helps bring her business, because they are in a relationship AND a business together. Um, duh, Charlotte.
Finally, Naomi's the most stressed of all because she's dealing with a new genetic specialist hired at Pacific Wellcare without her permission who wants to help some little people have a little child. She doesn't like the idea of messing with the embryos, especially when she realizes using the embryos that will ensure the little person baby could also have cancer. She says no, and admits she was a very fat child. Wheelchair Doctor still isn't in love with her or anything, but the fat thing helps. They're definitely headed toward one of those hate-love TV romances.
You'd really be better off avoiding this practice if you are in need of medical attention. Find out why.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!No previouslies. Instead, we jump right in with Mirah's Gone Are the Days played over sunny Los Angeles. Then we're in a sunny room where Addison's on a house call with her Patient of the Week (POTW), who is lying on a couch looking like she has cancer (surprise! she does!), and asking about Addison's bag. They discuss how great of a bag it is, since it's Chloe and Addison got it on sale. POTW goes so far as to call Addison a "lucky bitch." Well, she's at least half right. Oh, stop emailing me, Kate Walsh fans. I mean that she's lucky, of course. I'd describe anyone with a multi-million-dollar trust fund that way. Long story short: POTW is named Lily, and her ovarian cancer has spread to her liver. She's way beyond scared, but she doesn't want to go back to the hospital because she doesn't want to leave Milo, the orange tabby sitting near her face so we'll get how close they are. Addison scoffs that Lily would choose Milo over going to the hospital. But, hey, I don't have cancer or anything and I'd choose a cat over the hospital, too. And I don't even really like cats. Lily explains that Milo's her whole life because she gave up having anything else in her life for her career, which is something about design. Addison says she'll find someone for Milo, and Lily says it needs to be someone she can trust. A purring Milo rubs up against Addison, and I bet you can see where this is going to go...
Pacific Wellcare. A handsome guy in a wheelchair comes zooming up to Naomi, and tells her that their patients are already here and very excited to start treatment. Naomi's like, "Excuse me?" And he says he's Gabriel Fife, director of the genetic research program. She says they don't have a GRP, so Fife (that's shorter than Gabriel, so it's what I'll be calling him) tells her to keep up with her emails, since William (that would be Bill Buchanan) hired him. She says there was no email since she's the one who does the hiring around here. She follows him as he explains Bill thought Fife and Naomi would be good together, professionally speaking (though I'm certain the show has more than that in store), since Fife designed a technique that improves the success rate for complex implantations in various high-risk patients. She wonders what high-risk groups as they arrive in an office where he introduces their new patients, the Donovans. They are little people. They are here for implantation. Little man tells Naomi they want to have a dwarf baby. Naomi looks stunned. As is all of America, right? I mean, who would have thought Private Practice would find a way to put someone in a wheelchair, a black woman, and two little people all in one scene together? If only the storyline weren't such a cliché, I might declare this the most diverse show on television. (Don't worry, though; I won't. Not as long as Glee exists.) Fife tells them they're going to give them their dwarf baby. Sunny title card.
And then we're back in that same room with Naomi, Fife, and the little people, who tell Naomi that Fife's been a godsend, since they've wanted children for so long -- but they want a child like them. Fife explains to Naomi that there's only a 50-50 chance of them having a dwarf baby on their own, but with his magical science powers, "It's guaranteed." Naomi can't believe he's guaranteed that. Little man tells Naomi he knows it's odd to people who see being little as a deformity or disability, but they want a baby like them and are so grateful Naomi's going to give them a baby. Naomi tells them she needs time to review, and asks to speak to Fife outside. She leaves and he follows her. In the hall, Fife tells Naomi she doesn't exude confidence as he makes himself stand up in his chair. It's some sort of cool robotic chair that allows him to mechanically sit or stand. When he's in the standing position, he sort of towers over Naomi, so it's fun to watch him go from sitting, where he's smaller than her, to standing and looking down at her. He asks what he can do to expedite this process, and she says she hasn't agreed to do any of this and she's uncomfortable with the idea of designer children. Also, she doesn't think Fife actually works here. He tells her again she should read her emails, and he'll schedule the implantation for tomorrow. Then he rolls off, and she says, "There was no email."
Pete's new office. A lady lying on the table tells Pete how terribly depressed she is -- too depressed to move, to get off the table, to see Dr. Turner. He says she needs to see Violet to fight the depression. He says she got here, which is important, but she says Jimmy had to drag her. He tells her how important it is to get upstairs to help with the "biofeedback." She starts crying that she wants to die and why won't they just let her kill herself so she can stop feeling like this. All those who are okay with her killing herself? Yeah, me too, even though the dramatic music tells me I shouldn't be.
Oceanside. Violet and Sam are walking down the hall, as she's regaling him with a tale of her being mean to a patient (telling him he smells). That's her new thing, see? Saying what she thinks. She says it's freeing, and you know what? The patients like it. They arrive in the break room, and Addison comes in shortly after them with a cat carrier. She asks if anyone wants a temporary cat. Then Cooper comes in and tells her "Nice pussy." She glares, and he tells her not to be childish; he's talking about the cat. She says it's not her cat, anyway. It's her patient's. Cooper tells her to be careful, since she's single and living alone, and could become crazy cat lady. Sam and Cooper wonder why Cat Woman is so sexy but a woman with cats is so not? Violet thinks Addison should keep the cat. She tells her it's the perfect opportunity for someone with commitment issues to work through them. Then she adds, "I'm saying what I think! It's freeing." Addison tells her she's glad she's feeling better, but she doesn't have commitment issues. Charlotte comes in and Addison wonders if she likes cats. She's allergic, but is here to give Addison and Violet gifts for welcoming her to the practice. They're vibrators (and Addison just happens to have a banana in the other hand; it's a very inappropriately phallic moment for her). Cooper: "Please, not in front of the p... cat." Heh.
Hospital. Violet's hooking Barbara up to the electroshock machine, and telling her how it works. Basically, it will take a few seconds, and she won't feel anything. Dramatic music plays as someone gives her medication that puts her sleep. Jimmy tells her he loves her before she passes out, and she looks at him without responding. No movement as she's shocked. I guess it really isn't Cuckoo's Nest.
Oceanside. Addison tells Sam it looks like she's going to have a cat for longer than she thought, since Lily chose hospice and is going to die. Addison says she's dying alone, as Naomi comes in and asks if they have any chocolate, since she's all out downstairs. Sam gives her his Halloween candy, and Naomi vents about Fife. Sam wonders why she can't just tell him off if he's such a jerk, and Naomi says she can't because he's in a wheelchair. She knows that doesn't seem right, but it feels wrong. Sam tells her to go to the little people, then, and talk them out of it. Addison agrees, and Naomi says they're right. Sam gives Naomi all of the chocolates as she leaves.
Charlotte's in the elevator when Bill joins her. I used to think the elevator on Grey's was the most serendipitous elevator on TV, but I think it's been surpassed by this one. What's with Shonda and elevators anyway? She looks uncomfortable, but he cuts the tension by saying he heard she joined Oceanside; good for her. She says it is good for her, and has allowed her to refocus on patient care, which her administrative duties kept her from doing. He says it appears it worked out for the best for everyone, and heads out. She hollers after him that it sure did, since patients are lining up for her. But she smiles vulnerably and she looks prettier than she ever has. Vulnerability looks mighty good on Charlotte King, y'all.
Hospital. Pete's reading Barbara's chart when Violet comes in. He feels the need to explain why he's here: keeping Jimmy company while he waits for her to work up. Oh, and Jimmy's getting coffee. Violet says Barbara's fine, and it went off without a hitch. Pete's glad. Barbara wakes up and Violet tells her that everything went well. She says she has a headache, but there's no crazy depression pressing down on her anymore. She feels lighter. Violet and Barbara smile. Jimmy comes in and says hi, then "Wow. Look at you. I miss that smile." He grabs her hand, and she pulls away, all, "I'm sorry. Do I know you?" Uh-oh. Not exactly "without a hitch," Violet. Out in the hall, Violet explains to Jimmy that mild memory loss is a common side effect, but he thinks being totally wiped from his fiancee's memory isn't exactly mild. Violet says it should resolve in time, but he wonders what to do until then: remind her of things or keep his distance. Violet says not to expect anything from Barbara, but he can talk to her and it might help. Jimmy leaves Pete and Violet alone, and Pete asks for her to be honest. She says memory loss is rare but it happens sometimes. But she seems happy, so that's good, right? Pete says it's not good since she doesn't even remember her fiancée. Violet says she'll fix it.
Naomi's talking to the little people about the slippery slope of choosing characteristics for our children. She doesn't know where it ends and tells them it's not something their practice does. She does want to work with them, but... As she's talking, little woman gets up and looks at a picture on Naomi's table. She asks if it's her daughter and then says she looks just like her. Naomi thanks her, but says she never sees it. Little woman says of course she doesn't, because she takes for granted that they look alike. But she asks what if someone had told her she couldn't have had her own daughter who looks like her. Naomi says that even if they don't select for dwarfism, their child will be part of them. Little man asks Naomi what she sees when she looks at him, and she stammers. He says that's a hard question for a tall person to answer, because all she sees is the dwarf. Naomi denies it, but they don't stop. Little woman says she sees an accountant and a husband, and their friends see that, too, but if they have a tall baby, their friends will look at it like it's different. Little man asks Naomi if she had had a 50-50 chance of having a white baby, would she have wanted one. She says it's not the same thing. Little woman says it is, because she'd love the white baby but everyone would question if it was hers and would whisper, just like they will if the little people have a tall child. They just want what Naomi has, and wonder how that's crossing a line.
Naomi walks into a shiny, blue-lit room where Fife's in a lab coat, looking into a microscope or something. She's behind him, but he senses her and asks if she has something to say. She starts in that genetic engineering can have terrible consequences in the wrong hands, so she's going to be the gatekeeper while he's here. If there's a slippery slope, she's going to decide how far they slide. He asks if she's in with the little people, then, and she says she is. He tells her not to expect him to thank her for doing what's right. We cut to Naomi venting to Addison in a pet store about him. She calls him a "little man, wheelchair or no." Addison finds some sort of crazy angel costume and wonders what it is. A super smiley woman comes up and tells them it's an angel to take your kitty trick-or-treating. Uh, no one does that. Also, didn't Sam say Halloween had already happened? Hopefully that's on clearance. They head to a different part of the store, and Addison finds a bag she thinks is cute and fashionable. It's a cat carrier, of course, and Addison thinks Lily would love it.