Episode Report Card Mollie: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Let Me Take You To Ladytown
By Mollie | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2007
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Our story opens with the Oceanside elevator's very first makeout session -- but it turns out to be a dream, the latest of many recent dreams about Pete, from which Addison wakes with a start. Naomi warns her not to follow through; Violet thinks Addy should find another way to "scratch the itch," and she's flabbergasted when Addison says solo sex is not for her. Both ladies try to convince her it's worth pursuing, at least as an alternative to sex with Pete.
At Oceanside, Dell is excited about doing a solo pap smear, but his patients make it difficult. Addison is busy in her office with Naomi and Sam's 13-year-old daughter, Maya, who thinks she has gonorrhea. She doesn't, but Addy wonders how she can help, and whether she should tell Naomi.
A track coach asks Pete to check out a runner, Nicole, who's having respiratory problems. They go to St. Ambrose, where Pete determines Nicole will need more than just herbs to get better. She's prepping for a big race and doesn't want to use inhaled steroids, but Pete and Charlotte warn her she could die if she runs in her current condition. She does, of course, because she's so hardcore, and Pete gets to the track in time to see her collapse. When she wakes up at St. Ambrose, her running career potentially over for good, she admits she obtained some sketchy remedy with the help of her coach and father-figure. Pete finds the coach in the hall and punches him out.
Sam's patient Beth was attacked in her home while her husband was away. Beth wants to take a drug that will help her forget the whole thing, so she won't worry about being left alone. Sam refers her to Violet, who does some master shrink-ing and discovers that Beth, who fought off her attacker, is really worried about her husband, who feels guilty he couldn't protect her. All of this is background for Violet's personal drama, which starts when Allan shows up at the clinic claiming he misses their friendship, continues through a couple of flirty non-dates, and ends with her storming away from him in the mistaken belief that some of her dignity is still intact. Cooper fumes throughout, first complaining he doesn't want to pick up the pieces when Allan breaks Violet's heart, then jealous her heart is not broken as quickly as he expected, and finally taking her in and suppressing his feelings for her yet again.
As for Maya, it turns out she lied, and it's really her friend Ruby who has gonorrhea -- as well as an ectopic pregnancy, for which she is rushed to St. Ambrose for emergency surgery (performed by Addison). Naomi's furious that Addy didn't tell her what was going on; she's also mad at herself, and Sam, for failing to give Maya the sexual education she obviously needs. They discuss and agree to worry less about being model parents and exes, and more about healing themselves and caring for their daughter.
By the end of the episode, Pete has heard about Addy's fantasies, of course, and he tells her he's "not above" a fantasy of his own. She's turned on by his split knuckles, evidence of his manly gladiatorial tendencies, and she tells him so -- then hurries home to enjoy her new fantasy in private. Sorry, Pete. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
This week we begin not with Addison in bed, but with Addison on the Oceanside elevator. Jaunty music plays. Just as the doors are about to close, Pete rushes in and stops them with his hand, which is totally an assy thing to do. So everything seems normal, in other words. "Hey," says Addison, looking super-hot. Pete seems agitated. He doesn't look at her. The jaunty music continues. Pete reaches out and hits the "stop" button, and says, "This isn't good -- you being here." Addison's confused. "You...want me to take the stairs?" But Pete means it's not good for them to be working together, because he can't focus with her around. Addison is now both flattered and intrigued: "Really?" He turns to look into her eyes, explaining that what distracts him is her red hair, and her brain. Addison is thrown by this surprising development, but not too thrown to respond, "I am very smart." Hee. Pete moves closer and breathes sexily: "I barely notice your incredible breasts...and your cellulite-free thighs...because your brain is such an immense turn-on to a man as highly evolved as I am." By now I am really hoping this is a dream, and that I am supposed to find it hilariously ludicrous, but it's hard to be sure, given the many other hilariously ludicrous things Pete has said in supposedly serious moments. "Yes!" says Addison, as Pete moves closer. "I can see how it might turn you on." At this, Pete grabs her and throws her against the wall, and she makes an awesomely heightened, almost drag-queeny sex-scene face before he plants his fancy lips on hers. They sink to the floor, and...
...Addison and her pillow hit the floor of her bedroom. The jaunty music stops. Dream! Phew!
Now we travel to Naomi's house -- apparently Addy was so perturbed by her dream that she stopped by before work to tell her best friend about it. ("I dreamed I had sexual chemistry with Pete! It was so weird!") "Pete is your dream guy?" Naomi scoffs. She kind of doesn't care, though, because she's trying to get Maya and Maya's friend off to school. Allowing this school-night sleepover is part of her campaign to be "the fun parent," she tells Addy as she cleans up the breakfast dishes. Addison says Pete isn't her "dream guy," he's just the guy who happened to star in her dreams for the last three nights. Naomi warns her, "Do not sleep with Pete." Addison says she doesn't want to, but her head does, to which Naomi responds, in her deepest register, "It's not your head that wants to do the sleeping. MAYA!" This time her daughter answers: "I'm right here, Mom! God!" She and her friend, both wearing school uniforms, are standing on the stairs behind Addison and Naomi. I'm very impressed by how much this little girl looks like she could be the offspring of Audra and Taye. Maya drops the sass to greet "Auntie Addison" and introduce her to her friend, Ruby. Addison wonders how long they've been standing there. "Why?" says Maya. "What are you guys talking about?" Both women answer, "Shoes," lifting their coffee cups to their mouths to disguise their obvious lie, which might be more effective if they didn't both do it at exactly the same time. Heh.
Pete starts his morning at some sort of athletic field, doing one-arm push-ups -- he's not manly just in Addison's dreams, you know! A man calls out to him -- a coach of some sort, judging by the whistle around his neck and the logo on his shirt. It looks like the costume department didn't quite have time to finish ironing it on, and I notice that the school he coaches for is apparently called "Mosaic." I guess it's a visual arts magnet school? They probably have those in California. Although I wouldn't expect them to have very good athletic programs. Coach asks Pete to "take a look at Nic," who has a cold but doesn't want to see a doctor or take any drugs. An athletic-looking black girl in a track uniform jogs over to complain, "My stride felt off. I got nothin' left at the end." Coach introduces Pete as "the doctor who helped me with my back," and Nic says, "Yeah, I've seen you here," which is both nonsensical (he didn't say "Pete's the doctor I invited to watch practice," after all) and a little bit weird (Pete hangs out at the school a lot). Pete invites Nic to "stop by later today" so he can try his holistic, no-meds magic on her. She agrees, then takes a step toward him: "Wanna race?" Wisely, Pete declines. The man's in great shape and everything, but my money's on Nic, cold and all.