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Michael's subjected to the hot box -- a big cage swaddled in plastic wrap -- for all of, like, ten minutes before he folds like a T-shirt fresh from the dryer and begins telling all to General Zavala, the idealistic crusader who took down Lechero and will usher in a new day of law and order. Zavala drags in Whistler, and then it's only a matter of time before Whistler's rolled over on Susan B. (a.k.a. "Gretchen"). Zarala brings Susan B. over to Sona, and before you can say "Waterboarding!" -- well, he's done it, but she's ostensibly given up LJ's location.
Of course, Susan B.'s merely leading Zarala to a secluded area so she can take him out and resume her duties as the emotionally unbalanced cat's-paw of the One World Conspiracy. Also, so far as she's concerned: torture, schmorture. She's a credit to the administration.
Meanwhile, Linc and Sucre scheme to make Susan B. think Sucre's working for her. Watching them plot is sort of like watching monkeys discovering fire, but I look forward to seeing how this backfires on them in the four episodes.
And finally, inside the prison: Well, Mahone's back, and after a sweetly emotional send-off from Agent Lang, he keeps the faith with her by spurning T-Bag's offer of free dope for life and clicking to her lucky coin as he goes through withdrawal. I should probably mention that T-Bag's free-dope-for-life offer came with one big string attached: throw down the chicken foot with Sammy. Given a choice between that and withdrawal, I would have chosen the latter as well. Anyhoodle, Bellick also goes into the ring, cheats, and manages to live. T-Bag is like, "I must remember Bellick's new skills, and use them in my future machinations." Oh, scheme away, T-Bag. Scheme away! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously this season on Prison Break: Michael learned that the One World Conspiracy threw him into prison just so he could break out again with some guy named Whistler. To motivate him, the One World Conspiracy kidnapped Dr. Sara and L.J., and assigned a PTSD-addled mercenary as their minder. We're introduced to her as "Susan B. Anthony," but her real name may be Gretchen. The unpredictable Susan B. is Linc's contact on the outside, and when he nearly succeeds in breaking out her hostages, she retaliates by beheading Dr. Sara. Eventually, Linc breaks the news to Michael, and Michael manages to multitask, working his displays of grief into his first escape attempt. Note how I wrote "attempt." The One World Conspiracy gets impatient, so they just decide to send in a lot of helicopters and guns, thereby raising the question, "If you could do this all along, what made you think it was a good idea to make a petulant genius with a huge hate-on for you do the job?" and the ancillary question, "If this is indicative of the brains behind the One World Conspiracy, how have they managed to stay number one? Is there a Number Two World Conspiracy that tries harder? Can we see them?" These, along with other questions like, "So who is the president of the United States at this point?" "How has T-Bag managed to stay alive?" and "Was it really necessary to make Mahone chase the dragon?", remain unanswered. Anyway, in the final pre-break episode, Michael manages to ruin Whistler's chances for escape but somehow the whole thing gets pinned on him, thanks to his whole breaking-out-of-prison reputation. And before Michael can even protest, "Do you see any helicopters in these tattoos?" (Answer: No. Because we haven't seen any tattoo action this season either) he's frog-marched out of Sona's courtyard.
And now...Michael is still being marched out of the courtyard. The inmates have all rushed to the windows so they might watch him go. Whistler is still shirtless. I note this with approval, by the way.
Anyway, Michael eventually makes his way into the guards' office and the new guy in charge wants some alone time with him. General Zavala introduces himself as the successor to Il Douche, and orders Michael to sit. He does offer him some water, which is hospitable. As Michael sits, he says, "With all due respect, General, I had nothing to do with what happened here today." He does not add, "My escape attempts are typically less flashy and far more dependent on a complex web of perilous contingencies." Zavala responds, "I always conduct a thorough investigation, and there are too many unanswered questions here. It is my job to find those answers." Oooh, I hope his unanswered questions are the same as my unanswered questions!
Alas, Zavala's more interested in the helicopters -- where they came from, who's flying them, who sent them. Michael has no good answers here, and reiterates that he's telling the truth. He then tries fixing Zavala with the Blue Steel, but the wily general is impervious to its power. He takes Michael for a walk, explaining, "I understand your fears, but the Republic of Panama cannot allow this sort of activity. If you wish to talk, now is the time." Michael replies, "I would, if there was anything left to say." Dude, that is what you say to the boyfriend you're dumping, not to the general of a republic! Anyway, since Michael's not chatting, he's shut in a hot box -- it's a structure that's roughly five feet by five feet, with chicken-wire walls wrapped in plastic. There is a small band of open air at the top and the bottom, but the overall effect is to let the air in the box heat up in the sun and just stay warm. After Michael's locked inside, Zavala continues reasoning with him thusly: "Confess to this escape and face your punishment by law, or face a far greater punishment in the Panama sun." Michael doesn't even bother to protest that he didn't try to escape that time.
Back in the prison, Lechero sighs, "He's done. He's finished." And then we cut to Whistler and Splenda waiting for Michael to explode like a bag of microwave popcorn. Sadly, Whistler is be-shirted again.
As Michael wilts in the hot box, we go to the credits. When we come back, he's busy watching himself sweat. Speaking of credits, this episode was written by Karyn Usher. We've also seen work this season by Christian Trokey; Nick Santora; Paul T. Scheuering; Matt Olmstead; Zack Estrin; Seth Hoffman; and Kalinda Vazquez. Without these folks, there would be no characters and no story, and for all that I love to poke fun at the writers' work, I'm very glad they did it, and I would love it if they could do more of it. I didn't think of a season's worth of Linc-isms for nothing, you know.
And speaking of Linc, here he is walking out of a hospital, muttering to Sofia that he hopes his brother's okay. Linc, the less you know, the better. Sofia lets him know that a few bodies have been identified, but neither Michael nor Whistler are among that number. Linc's all, "Well, I'll see for myself when I visit the prison -- want to join me?" and Sofia waffles, "I don't know. After everything that's happened, I don't know what to think anymore." Linc asks, "What more is there to think about?" Heh -- that's like his personal motto. Well, that or LINCOLN NOT THINK MORE. Sofia says, "James has an answer for everything, and nothing ever makes sense." That might be your first sign that you're dealing with a liar, Sofia. Linc says as much with, "You need to stop asking questions and just look at the facts." Sofia protests that she wants to believe the big liar and, more importantly, she wants him out of prison. So does Linc, although not for the same reasons. Anyway, Sofia finally gets around to thanking Linc for all of his hard work and it's all very sweet, but before the two of them can bask in the novel experience of being treated like human beings, along comes Susan B. to remind them of the dismaying common experience of having someone wreck your day for the sheer fun of it.
She and a few goons order Linc to get in the car. As he does, Susan B. comes over and says to Sofia, "Everywhere I go, there you are. Go home, Sofia." Sofia mutely glares. I would too, if I had to come up with a snappy comeback, then translate it into another language.
And then we get to the best scene of the episode. Lang is pulling up so she can bring Mahone back to Sona, and as she stops the car for the guards, she admits, "Part of me wants to drive right past this gate, Alex. You don't deserve to be here." A sweaty and disheveled Mahone says, "Actually, if you take all things into consideration, I do." He looks over at Lang, who's all, You do have a point. Mahone thanks her and prepares to go, and Lang blurts out, "Wait!" She digs in her bag, and Mahone says abashedly, "Don't," but Lang hands over a silver half-dollar. She says, "My father worked in the mines for 30 years. He took this in with him every day. It kept him safe to the day he retired, then he gave it to me." Mahone looks at in his palm and tries to hand it back. Lang tells him, "Give it back when you get out." Mahone looks down at the coin, then at Lang, then makes to go. Lang says softly, "Take care of yourself, Alex," and gives him a quick hug. He exits silently, but gives Lang one last look as the guards escort him back. Then, as Mahone's walked back inside, he sees Michael in the hot box. We all see that the Blue Steel can apparently withstand temperatures of at least 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
Meanwhile, on the outside...Susan B. is leading a recently de-blindfolded Linc over to an abandoned barn whilst sniping, "This is for you, so shut up before I change my mind. After yesterday, you may be doubting my ability to make good on our agreement. I need to keep you motivated. You have one minute." Linc heads into the barn...and sees L.J., tied to a chair with duct tape over his mouth.
The usual "this is tender, dammit!" music plays and Linc rushes over to his son. He hugs first, rips off duct tape second. As he looks around, L.J. correctly anticipates Linc's move and mutters, "Forget about it. There's nothing you can do." Spoken like a guy who doesn't want to see his own head get cut off. Then L.J. proves the brains skipped a generation by passing on some valuable intel to Linc: "These guys are thorough, they follow you everywhere. [Looks over at Susan B.] That bitch is crazy. She cut Sara's head off. I was there. I closed my eyes, but I heard it." L.J. conveniently leaves out the part where Susan B. tried to repeat that party trick on him too. Linc vows to get L.J. out of this situation, and instructs him, "The time you see me, don't take your eyes off me. I'll tell you what to do." Susan B. calls time, the guys exchange love-yous, and we go to what would be commercials if I weren't watching this on my Macbook.
So we're back at the prison, and Mahone's just strolled in. Whistler comes by and Mahone shakily says, "Looks like things didn't go so well. You should be gone." Whistler gently replies, "So should you." Mahone would like to know what happened, and Whistler declines to tell him, "Hey, it turns out we have a sinister employer in common! And that sinister employer tried to break me out with a lot of firepower, and yet, one scrawny engineer managed to thwart the operation. I can see why he drove you crazy." Instead, he says something about how it sucks to be Michael right now, but they can still escape without him. Also, he promises Mahone, "I won't go without you. You have my word." Lechero watches all this go down, and when he meets Whistler's eyes, he nods slightly.
Across the courtyard, Sammy's new recruit Octavio is thugging out in a corner while Sammy just leans against a pillar and watches. (By the way, Sammy is such a bad-ass that even when wearing a t-shirt tied around his head, a suit vest with no shirt underneath and baggy cargo pants, he looks stylish. It helps when you have a lot of muscles to accessorize with.) As Whistler walks by, he rolls his eyes at Octavio and his pals, and that gives us a transition shot to Bellick -- looking not at all stylish in his too-small tee and MC Hammer pants -- and T-Bag, who is inexplicably coiffed and dressed like he's playing Kenickie in the inmates' Grease revival.
Bellick asks T-Bag, "You seen Scofield in that redneck sauna?" and I am temporarily transported on a flight of imagination to the Tobacco Road Day Spa. T-Bag gets off the best line of the night with, "Let's see if he has a tattoo to get out of that one." Bellick discreetly inquires as to whether or not T-Bag's in on any escape, reasoning, "Scofield's got to have a plan to escape." T-Bag correctly points out, "If so, I know none of it." However, Bellick's not buying T-Bag's protestations of innocence.
The conversation is then interrupted by some anonymous inmate losing his lunch all over the courtyard. Octavio looks over and T-Bag murmurs, "Here comes trouble," immediately before melting away. Octavio orders Bellick to clean it up, and Bellick blows him off. Octavio's all, "No, no, no -- I'm sort of the new Sammy, so hop to!" but Bellick isn't having it. He pushes Octavio away, ordering, "Go bug someone else," and Octavio steps right in the vomit. We do not see whether Bellick immediately sprinted away, leaving only a damp trail behind him.
We cut back to Michael. Amazingly, he has not moved from a solid to a liquid state, but he's close.
Meanwhile, on the outside...Sucre's getting off his shift when Augusto hits him up to make another delivery to the inside. Sucre asks how much, and Augusto says, "I gave you ten grand!" Sucre coolly responds, "Ten grand for the last one -- how much for this one?" Augusto offers Sucre a quick gunshot to the gut, so Sucre sensibly decides to do the job for free.
So he's back at Sona, just in time to interrupt some flunkie giving Zavala lip -- the good general wants to give Michael some water, and the guard's all, "He doesn't deserve it." Sucre hastily offers to bring the water instead. He walks it over and proffers the Dixie cup with the sweetly affectionate, "Hey, brother. Remember me?" Michael is not in a happy place mentally, and Sucre patiently coaxes, "Come on, Papi. Drink this." Michael pleads, "You can't let anything happen to L.J., okay?" Sucre reassures him, "It's okay. He's doing much better than you. Come on. Drink this. You need it." Michael sure does. Sucre tells Michael he's very sorry about Sara, and adds that he'll try to sneak more stuff inside. Michael says shakily, "I want you to quit," but Sucre's not having any of Michael's martyr moves. Awww! I want these two to run off into the sunset together, but platonically. Think of the buddy-comedy potential.
Meanwhile, Lechero and Whistler have resumed work on the tunnel that is supposed to help them burrow out. Lechero's sniping at Whistler for that little stunt with the helicopter. Whistler says matter-of-factly he was looking out for his own (aesthetically pleasing) posterior. After Lechero knocks a chunk of concrete out of the roof of the tunnel, a thin trickle of sand follows. I shudder (y'all know I hate the feel of sand, right? Yet I love the ocean. Stupid sand getting in the way of my good time!) and so does Lechero. Whistler says calmly that all they have to do is brace the ceiling. Lechero looks up at the ceiling and concludes, "No, we need the engineer." The two of them scamper out of the tunnel. Lechero keeps an eye out so Whistler can hurry past Sammy, Octavio, and the rest unnoticed. However, he misses T-Bag, who is deliberately lurking out of eyeline and watching everyone. We get a close-up on T-Bag, who looks pensive. That's surprising -- he should look delighted that once again, he'll get to weasel his way into an escape without doing much of the heavy lifting aforehand. Oh, wait -- now he does.
Zavala decides it's time to see if Michael's ready to talk. He notes, "Ninety-eight degrees in the shade, 125 in the box. Let's go inside. We'll have a chat in the air conditioning." You're assuming Michael's not out of his mind with heat stroke and capable only of babbling nonsense syllables. Zavala continues with a weather forecast for the two days -- continued heat wave with rising chance of fatality. Michael gasps, "You don't understand...if I thought you could help me..." Zavala says simply, "I can. You're unaware of the influence I have in this province. You'd rather I be your ally than your enemy, would you?" Michael replies, "You don't know these people. We can't stop them." We can only hope to contain them. Zavala gives him a little pep talk: "There was a man, a drug kingpin, the most powerful man in Panama. A ruthless killer with an army of thugs and thieves behind him. He killed judges, policemen, anyone who stood in his way. They said he couldn't be stopped, but now Lechero is in prison, and I am in power. I decide whose life is at stake, and right now, it's yours." There's a long pause, and Zavala turns to go. Michael speaks up, and the music booms dramatically as he says, "From the moment I got here" -- gives Zavala the full Blue Steel -- "I've been planning my escape." Zavala makes a gesture as he walks off and the guards head to the hot box.
Inside the prison, Splenda tells Whistler, "He's talking...you can't get out of the box any other way." Whistler looks deeply irritated as a surprisingly non-sweaty Scofield is led inside. Well, seriously, he looks remarkably good for someone who was cooking in high temperatures for an extended period. You'd think his shirt would at least be soaked through. I bet the only reason it's not is because then there would have to be tattoo makeup. (Not that I'm bitter...)
We then go to a moderately amusing shot of a window-unit air conditioner going full blast, with Michael parked underneath it. Poor Michael then begins to explain the One World Conspiracy to General Zavala, who is not buying one word of it. He all but says, "So let me get this straight: some vast and shadowy network framed your brother for murder, conspired to throw you into a second prison to break another inmate out, got impatient, and brought in the 2nd Airborne instead? Really? Pull the other one -- it has bells on it." Michael frets that the One World Conspiracy is real, they have L.J., and "I could be putting his life in danger as we speak." Zavala slowly says, "If what you told me true, you could be saving him." Awww, that's sort of sweet. "I'd call my troops in order to search for the boy immediately. But this story is fiction." Awww, that's not so sweet. Zavala seems like a very complicated man. Michael breaks down: "It's true. It's what you want and it's the only thing I have left to give. Please. His name is L.J. He's only 16 years old." We get an unintentionally hilarious shot of Zavala looking uncomfortable, all, I hate this part of the interrogation when the begging starts.
Meanwhile, on the outside...Linc walks into his hotel room and his nostrils are immediately wooed by the scent of fine, pricey cigars. He notes that they're pricey, and Sucre shrugs that someone gave them to him. Linc is all, "O RLY?" and the two of them have a heated little conversation about how Sucre is running things into the prison -- Linc is anti-job and Sucre is pro-cash. He plays the baby card, saying, "Maricruz doesn't have insurance, all right?" Hands up, all of you who remember how she was from the schwanky part of town. Now hands up if you think that a relatively well-heeled girl from a close-knit family is not likely to be lacking medical care if she's expecting. Now put your hands down so you can continue to scroll through the recap. Anyway, Sucre changes the subject by sharing the news about Michael's solitary confinement. Lincoln looks ready to kill someone. Then he collapses to the couch, admitting, "I don't know what to do, man. All this is falling apart."
We transition from Linc's staring face to Whistler's. T-Bag drapes himself over Whistler's shoulders -- and who can blame him? -- and asks, "What you looking at?" "The view," Whistler says shortly, shaking off his new accessory. T-Bag is undaunted; he chases after Whistler, chattering, "I can't help but notice you and Lechero makin' friends. He's been hanging out with a lot of white boys lately." Whistler would like to know if T-Bag has a problem with that. He would have back in Season One. However, here in Season Three, T-Bag's immediate problem is Sammy, so he's trying to manipulate Whistler into eliminating Sammy. However, Whistler didn't stay alive for this long because he's dumb; he notes cannily, "There aren't many men in Sona that'll take on Sammy." T-Bag rebuts, "I have one particular man in mind. A man who owes me. But if I pull through, I'm in the club, guaranteed, you'll see to it." Things are not looking up for Mahone, are they? Whistler chuckles mirthlessly and agrees to the deal. The two men shake on it.
Sammy is not looking too happy at the moment either. He catches an eyeful of Whistler and T-Bag walking off, and then Whistler makes himself scarce. We are left to see T-Bag, still channeling his inner greaser, as he glowers at Sammy.
Meanwhile, on the outside...we're back at the hotel. A very sweaty Lincoln is getting out of the elevator when Sucre accosts him in the lobby and says he's thought about it, but he's not giving up the job any time soon. After all, Augusto can afford to pay him, and at this point, Sucre's all about the dinero. Also, he would like to borrow some money from Linc, and Linc replies, "I told you, I don't have any cash!" Sucre protests, "What do you expect me to do?" "Do whatever you want," Linc says dismissively, and makes to go. Sucre blocks him with, "You can still use my help?" and Linc says snidely, "You gonna start charging me for your friendship?" Going by this scene, the answer is apparently "yes." Linc decides to head outside and go buy some new friends cheaper somewhere else. No sooner do the boys huff off than one café-sitter whips out the mobile to call Susan B.
Back in General Zavala's office, the good general has just put down the papers he was reading, and admits to Michael, "Much to my surprise, there seems to be some degree of truth to your tale." Michael reminds him that "everything I told you is true." Zavala snaps, "That's for me to determine." "What more can I say?" Michael asks. He can say the name of the inmate the One World Conspiracy wants sprung. But will he?
Whistler is blissfully unaware of any burning sensation in his ears as he strolls on out to see Sofia. Sofia confronts him about the apartment and Susan B., tearfully asking, "Why didn't you tell me? Who's Gary Miller?" Whistler sighs and ladles on the sincerity before telling her, "That apartment, that passport, it's all for us. It's how we're going to get away. When I get out of this place, I've been working on a way for us to be together. Remember how we always talked about France?" Oh, that hits Sofia where she lives, and she puts up only token resistance with, "James, how can I believe you? How can I believe anything anymore?" Before Whistler can talk his way around answering those questions, the guards summon him. As he's marched off, Whistler tells Sofia he loves her.
Then we cut to an interrogation room where Zavala is busy asking Whistler about the One World Conspiracy. Naturally, Whistler is denying everything. He adds slyly, "Scofield's a smart man, but he's got a rabid imagination." Zavala asks if Whistler is calling Scofield a liar. "More or less," Whistler admits. Zavala sits down and says, "I've been able to verify his story. I already know everything, Mr. Whistler, in detail. I just need a name." It's to Zavala's credit that he doesn't add, "Ha ha ha HA ha!" in a singsong after all that. Whistler gulps. Then he attempts to play stupid one more time, and says, "What are you talking about?" Zavala doesn't take kindly to being lied to. He orders his flunkies to bring in the waterboarding equipment -- a chair with restraints, a bucket, a hose, a rag -- and offers Whistler one more shot to tell the truth.
Back in the prison, Mahone is heading into the early stages of withdrawal. Naturally, this is when T-Bag heads over, perhaps looking for backup singers during the all-prisoner version of "Greased Lightning." Or maybe he wants to put Mahone further in his debt so he can set up a deathmatch with Sammy. With T-Bag, it could go either way. ...Ah, it's going the "I need a favor" route. T-Bag sums it up with "It involves you, a chicken foot and a man who's got it coming." Mahone asks which man, and T-Bag says, "Sammy. Now you get well, you get out in the ring and you do that [makes neck-snapping gesture] neck thing? In exchange, I'm going to cover alllllll your medical expenses." Mahone doesn't say anything. T-Bag coos that he's heading off to grab his merchandise, and leans over to whisper, "You're the best cock in the fight, Alex. Don't let me down." Oh, to have been a fly on the wall when that line trotted past the network censors. We get a tight close-up of Mahone, who looks like he's concentrating hard on something...
...And then we cut to Whistler being strapped in the chair. As Zavala threads the hose behind him, he comments, "Maybe now you'll feel more comfortable telling me the truth." I can't help but feel that this set-up is going to be used to justify some of the heinous things people are doing in Americans' names overseas, i.e. See, the committed crusader for truth and justice must use dark tactics to serve a greater good! Those people who are getting tortured deserve it! But what do I know? I'm only getting squeamish over how a deplorable practice has devolved from a matter of national debate into a plot device on a FOX network show. ["'Another Fox network show,' I think you meant to say." -- Sars] Whistler's even more squeamish than I am -- the minute the chair rocks back, he screams that he's working with Scofield, but there's nobody else involved.
Within seconds, Whistler's out of the chair and Zavala's marched him into the anteroom where Michael's been waiting. Zavala says, "As they say in America, we're going to get this story straight." Michael tells Whistler, "I told him the truth." Whistler gives him a look like, Well, GOOD GOING, stupid! Zavala is worked up because Whistler's not confirmed anything. Michael pipes up, "Ask him about that woman he's been meeting with." Whistler glares at Michael like hot death before saying, "It's not what you think." Michael counters with the Blue Steel before saying, "It doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you know, and you know her name. [turns to Zavala] And the fact that he won't admit it tells me he's no innocent bystander in this." Whistler protests that he is, and Michael snits, "Prove it, because that's the only way we're getting out of here." Whistler says, "Michael, this is suicide. They'll kill Sofia. And they'll kill your brother's son." Michael replies, "This is the man who can help us, and he can't do anything without a name, so TELL HIM." Yeah, there was yelling at the end there. Yeah, it was a little bit of all right. After a few more seconds, Whistler finally says, "Gretchen Morgan." Then he sits down to Michael on the bench. That will be one awkward little waiting room.
We cut to Susan B. in the usual hotel bar. She slinks right up to Sucre, cocks her head at the drink, and purrs to the bartender, "Two more of those, please." Sucre leaps off his stool like it's just sprouted spikes and makes noise about going. Susan B. smoothly tells the bartender, "He'll stay." She turns to Sucre and says, "Relax...Fernando, is it?" She wants to talk with him alone. Sucre indicates the well-populated bar and says, "This right here is as alone as we're gonna get." Susan B. gossips, "I heard about your argument with Lincoln," and Sucre snorts dryly, "You people are everywhere, huh?" Susan does not bother to dispute that, and continues, "You know him better than I do, but from personal experience I know, Burrows can be hard to handle. That man does not like to be told what to do." Sucre says darkly, "He sure likes bossing everyone else around." As the love theme begins playing in the background (o, those atmospheric guitar strings), Susan B. tells Sucre he needs to watch out for Sucre. She's happy to help that happen, so long as Sucre keeps a close eye on Linc. Susan B. reasons, "Lincoln causes as many problems as he solves. He needs to get out of his own way, and I think you can assist him. I stay one step ahead, and you get fifty grand." I can only imagine the outrage from dedicated Dominic Purcell fans who would be happy to keep nonstop tabs on the man for free. Sucre thinks it over for approximately three seconds before agreeing.
Meanwhile, back in Sona...Zavala's all about finding Susan B. as quickly as possible. Michael says he can help there, but he'll need to use a phone. I mention this only because he says that very dramatically. Even Whistler rolls his eyes.
We cut to Linc and Michael talking. Michael requests, "I need to know where and when your meeting with Susan B. is." Lincoln tells him, "[The] Garfield-Price building, downtown, in an hour. Why?" Michael repeats the info to Zavala, then says, "Give her a message for me...tell her everything's going as planned." Over on the bench, Whistler's fixed Michael with a look like, Oh? Really?
Out in the prison courtyard, the guards have delivered a few crates of produce. We see Sucre's latest delivery tucked none-too-discreetly in one of them. Sammy rolls on over and picks it up in one smooth move. We then cut to Bellick entering his cell, where he's dismayed to find a chicken foot resting on his pillow. He turns around -- there's Octavio, there to tell him, "You should have listened." Bellick asks disbelievingly, "You're going to throw down a chicken foot over a puddle of puke?" No, Octavio's going to throw it down because he can't stand the idea that nobody respects his authori-tah. As his Milli Vanilli braids swing in the breeze -- why, oh why, must so many of the gangsters in this prison have such bad hair? -- Octavio repeats that Bellick should have mopped.
Inside Lechero's lair, T-Bag makes to grab something out of a bowl in front of Sammy, and Sammy doesn't even look up from his cards as he admonishes, "Stumpy, wait your turn, man." T-Bag seethes. Sammy gives him a look like, I am just waiting for an excuse, and T-Bag reluctantly backs down...just in time for a panicky Bellick to come in, babbling about the chicken foot. Sammy coolly dismisses Bellick's issue with, "The fight goes on as planned after we eat lunch." In his little office, Lechero hears the whole thing. He comes out to remind Sammy that ultimately, Lechero still gets to decide who fights and who doesn't, adding, "It's not your place." "Well, maybe it should be," Sammy replies. We cut to T-Bag, who is not happy about this.
Then we cut to a quick scene in which the general is being apprised of Susan B.'s movements. Whistler gives the impassive Michael A Look and says, "You'd better be right."
Meanwhile, on the outside...Sucre walks into Linc's hotel room. There's a tense moment, Linc asks what happened, and then Sucre grins. He chortles, "It worked...she came up to me just like you said, and offered a bunch of cash to talk behind your back." Linc reiterates that they're sticking to "the plan," whatever that may be, and Sucre nods his assent. The two guys high-five, and Linc heads out to see Susan B. So...the two of them think they're going to do an end-run around Susan B.? Who here thinks she's on to them already?
Back in Sona, Mahone's going through a very dramatic withdrawal fit on his bunk. T-Bag comes over after one particularly bad spasm and coos, "It's okay, I came back for you." As he proffers a loaded syringe, he urges, "Come on...everything's going to be okay. You can't deprive yourself like this." Mahone stammers, "Guh-get out of here." T-Bag wheedles, "You don't mean that." Mahone barks, "Yeah, I do, I do." T-Bag instantly turns venomous, hissing, "You're not talking straight. Withdrawals are the worst way to die. You're going to shake...until you evaporate into nothing. It's a long, bumpy road into Hell. Is that what you want, Alex? Or do you want to LOVE?" Mahone stands up and gasps shakily that he'll see T-Bag on the other side. T-Bag pockets his syringe with a tight little smile, then pushes Mahone to the ground with a scream of anger. Mahone stays curled in the fetal position on the floor. T-Bag stands over him, lip curled in contempt, and says, "When you're up all night, and diarrhea is running down both your legs and vomit is in your hair [kicks Mahone once in the kidneys], don't come crawling back." He stalks off, and we see that Mahone has grabbed the lucky silver half-dollar and is clutching it for all he's worth. Let's give another shout-out to Agent Lang!
Meanwhile, on the outside...Linc meets Susan B. in the bar. She's nursing a scotch, and she looks up begrudgingly to say, "It's been a long day. Let's just get this over with." Linc dutifully tells her that Michael says everything's going according to plan. Susan B.'s frankly skeptical, but Linc coolly ripostes, "You know Michael -- always has things worked out." Susan B. snaps back, "No, I don't. Seems to me he always keeps screwing things up." Linc says heatedly, "Well, he's getting things done a whole lot faster than you. Now, Whistler's out by tomorrow, all right?" How convenient it is that he said that right as General Zavala his own bad self comes marching in, asking, "Gretchen Morgan?" Susan B. turns around and says, "Yes?" and before Zavala can even finish introducing himself, he and his military posse have rounded Susan B. up and are marching her away. As she's spirited toward the door, Linc hollers, "I had nothing to do with this! I had nothing to do with this!" Susan B. gives him a look like, I'm SO SURE. Also, Sucre is going to owe ME fifty large before this is done.
The scene has Zavala recapping whatever questioning took place off-screen as Susan B. channels someone else's inner ingénue and blushingly protests, "I have never been here before in my life." She also claims not to know Whistler, and Zavala asks, "You know what I've been told?" "From prisoners? I can only imagine!" the breathy innocent replies. I love it. Zavala says, "I've been told you masterminded a prison escape, and you kidnapped a boy as collateral." Susan B. turns on the waterworks as she feigns disbelief. Then she overdoes it with, "Am I an alien? Did I shoot JFK? Sir, I have no idea what this James Wilson is. I am just here to relax before I have to go back for another year of teaching social studies to freshman idiots." Good lord, can you imagine Susan B. as your world history teacher? She'd kidnap your homecoming date the first time you blew a pop quiz. Zavala skeptically asks if Susan B.'s a tourist. "Not a tourist, sir. I like to think of myself as a student of life," she says. Zavala's obliquely amused by this: "Student of liiiiiiiife." Then he opens a door and orders someone to turn on a hose. I think Susan B.'s about to become a student of Geneva rights violations too.
Out in the courtyard, the inmates are getting all excited for the Octavio v. Bellick match. I personally think they need to get that inmate who gives haircuts and make him the Sona equivalent of the bimbo who walks around the boxing ring holding up the round card. These guys lack a certain detail-oriented bent, I feel. Anyway, Bellick is frantically running through the halls of Sona, looking for something that'll give him an edge in the battle against a guy who's 80% muscle and 20% thug instinct. He finds it in the cell of the inmate who likes to paint, as said inmate has all manner of solvents and cleaners for his supplies. Of course. And I bet the inmate door to him scrapbooks and there's a Cricut lying around, and to him is the cell where Sona's stitch-and-bitch group meets and there are knitting needles, and...anyway, Bellick eventually finds what he needs, and when he comes out for the fight, his hands are wrapped in strips of gray cloth and his nostrils are plugged. We see Octavio leap in the air and land a juicy punch on the way down.
And then we see that Susan B.'s strapped in and ready for her water torture. Zavala gives her one last chance to answer, but Susan B.'s closed her eyes and gone to her happy place, so the waterboarding commences. For those of you who haven't been keeping abreast of what our government has been doing to its prisoners, a quick primer: the prisoner is pushed into a reclining position; a sheet of saran wrap is pushed over her face, flattening her nose and sealing her mouth shut; and then a torrent of water is unleashed on top of the plastic. The overall effect is to make you believe you're drowning.
As this is going on, Whistler and Michael get to hear everything -- the water running, Zavala asking, "Yes or no?" -- and Whistler's getting really fidgety. Michael notes, "You seem concerned for her." Whistler self-righteously says, "She holds our entire future in her hands. Yeah, I'm concerned." He shouldn't be. Susan B. withstands the waterboarding like a champ. After only a few coughs, she lies to Zavala about having anything to do with the escape attempt, and he says, "You proved one thing. This is not your first time." So he goes to get the boys in the lobby. Whistler looks incredibly concerned. I immediately put on a tinfoil hat and wonder if he and Susan B. ever had anything going on.
Once both guys are in the same room, Zavala asks if Susan B. knows them. She claims not to, and Michael immediately says, "That's a lie...she came to see [Whistler] in visitation. Isn't that right?" Zavala piles on with, "Is this the woman you work for? Did she order the prison escape?" Whistler stays resolutely silent right up to the moment when Zavala pulls out his gun. Then he looks down at Susan B. and admits, "Yes." Michael immediately turns the full Blue Steel on Susan B. Whether it's this or Whistler's admission that does Susan B. in, she finally says, "I don't know anything about a prison escape. I'm just a babysitter. I watch the kid...[he's] near Paloma, Highway 2. I can take you." Zavala takes her up on that offer. Before Michael's led back to Zavala's office, he turns to Susan B. and asks, "Was it you? Did you kill Sara?" Susan B. lies, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Michael gives her one last look before saying, "I'm coming for you." Susan B. does not look particularly concerned.
Meanwhile, Octavio's beating the crap out of Bellick. That lasts until Bellick manages to get his knuckles in Octavio's eyes, at which the acetone he soaked into the rag does a number on the other guy's vision. Once Octavio can't see straight, Bellick moves in and kills him with a punch to the face. Then, he raises his arms and gives a big, primal scream. T-Bag, watching, puts it all together. He quietly swoops by to let Bellick know that he knows.
On the outside...in one of the most ridiculous sequences yet, the handcuffed Susan B. manages to free herself and kill everyone in the jeep right outside L.J.'s old location, up to and including Zavala. She grabs Zavala's mobile phone, calls a number, and orders someone on the other end, "Pick me up. I'm at the shack. Bring towels." Then she dials another number and says coldly, "Hi, Lincoln." I don't think they're going to be chatting about how Michael's ineffable smugness wraps around him like a blanket.
And then back at Sona, we see Sammy meeting with Augusto at visitation. Augusto's all, "Did you open the package?" and Sammy replies casually that he plans to get around to it. Augusto tells him, "You need to make a choice. Lechero's days are numbered. You agree? Then you know what you need to do...now is the time to make a move." Sammy gives Augusto a long, measured look.
Inside Zavala's office, a new authority figure comes in and asks why the inmates are still there. Michael asks what happened to the general, and Colonel Second-String replies, "The general was found dead this morning off Highway 2." So does that mean the guys spent the night in the office? I have no idea what the sequence of events here was -- whether we're only one day out from the big helicopter episode or two or ten. The laws of space and time no longer apply. Day has become night. Mike Huckabee has embraced the works of Stephen Jay Gould. It all makes sense in Prison Break Land. Anyway, Whistler gives Michael a look like, I told you she was trouble. Michael passes on his condolences, and the two guys head back into the prison.
Within seconds, Michael's sidled over to Lechero and said, "If you still want to get out of here, I need your phone." After checking to make sure nobody sees him handing it over, Lechero tells Michael to take the call inside. He rings Linc, who is none too pleased about the most recent sequence of events, but eventually he confirms that L.J.'s still alive. After that terse conversation, Michael starts staring broodingly at Whistler.
In another part of the prison, Sammy's getting crap from some of the inmates because Michael's still breathing. This seemingly pushes him over the edge, because he then heads to his bunk and opens the package he got from Augusto. It's a gun. And bullets. That Augusto thinks of everything!
Michael has decided to stop staring and start snotting. He appears in the doorway of Whistler's cell and interrupts the other man's sulk with, "Some people will stop at nothing, huh?" Whistler says unconvincingly, "Huh? Oh, yes. I know. At least we're back inside." Michael replies, "Which, of course, is exactly what you wanted, isn't it? ...You let the fox in the henhouse. The only reason you gave up Gretchen's name is so she could come in and pull you out of the fire." Whistler rebuts, "You wanted me to give up her name. You know it doesn't end with her." Michael replies, "Yeah. I do. The question is, how do you?" Possibly because Gretchen told him so? Michael persists, "How does a simple fisherman seem to know so much about the One World Conspiracy?" Whistler replies, "When she comes back -- and she will -- what am I going to say?" Hey, that's not Michael's problem, is it? Oh, wait... Anyway, Michael tells Whistler that once they're out, Whistler's collateral so far as Michael's concerned. Michael needs to consider what Whistler considers him. Hint: probably not BFF. The remaining four episodes should be interesting.