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Oh, Kellerman, you magnificent bastard. The disenfranchised conspiracy stooge decides that if his most recent bosses don't do right by him, he'll find someone who will. And since his most recent boss is Agent Kim -- well, that more or less drives our favorite schemer right into the exciting world of freelance evildoing. He pretends to be working with the One World Conspiracy and Mahone to help take out the now-captured Michael and Lincâ¦then drops Mahone with a bullet and tells the boys he's all about making President Reynolds's term a short and uncomfortable one. They're now allied with him, uneasily. That should be fun once they all meet up with Dr. Sara in the spring!
Speaking of the good doctor, the most exciting thing she does this week is give herself a haircut. But after the last few days she's had, the poor girl deserves a pick-me-up. She's now on the streets with a sassy new 'do and the current impression that Michael's on his way back to the pokey.
Another short-but-sweet plotline: Sucre's plane is shot down by DEA agents. Fortunately, he manages to parachute to freedom south of the border.
Meanwhile, in another plotline: T-Bag kills his way across Kansas to get to Susan, offing one veteran for his swanky prosthetic hand and murdering a postal worker after she makes him from the Wanted poster. (She had also made him in another way, if you know what I mean. And why, why, why would women want a grimy-looking number like Theodore? Why?) After those warm-ups, he manages to find Susan via her change-of-address form, and their plot closes with him inviting himself inside.
Finally, in the dumbest plot of the week: apparently, in addition to "evolution," the powers that be in Kansas have also rejected "forensics," "DNA" and "due process." So Bellick actually plea-bargains and decides to serve his time in Fox River. As if those plot developments weren't moronic enough: apparently, the new warden has never, ever, ever considered what would happen if an ex-law enforcement officer is tossed to the general population. And now Bellick is rooming with Avocado. It will be a long hiatus for him. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Prison Break: Michael and Linc were orphaned, only for real this time; Dr. Sara had a pressing engagement with Kellerman; Bellick got framed for the one crime he didn't commit; Sucre was leaving on a jet plane, and we don't know when he'll be back again. (Oh, babe, we hate to see you go.) And right after Michael puts Sucre on that plane, he decides to throw over his carefully-crafted exit strategy for an improvisational crack at taking down the One World Conspiracy. And then Mahone T-bones the Scofield/Burrowsmobile.
We pick up the episode exactly where we left it off: Mahone with a gun trained on Michael and Linc, the escapees looking considerably the worse for wear. Were I Linc, this would be right about the time I developed a strong aversion to automobiles. People are always hitting the car he's in -- when they're not hitting him with cars. I'm just saying: don't be surprised if we see a lot of bicycle-based chase scenes in season three.
Anyway... Michael has finally raised Dr. Sara on his mobile phone, but the mobile is a few feet away on the pavement and it's evident Mahone will shoot him if he grabs it. Dr. Sara keeps saying, "Hello?" and Mahone says, "You almost made it." He stops to listen to Dr. Sara, and gestures at Michael with the gun, ordering him to get up. It's telling that Mahone's unwilling to kill a man when he's down on his knees. Michael stands and Linc lurches over to stand to him. Mahone orders, "Turn around." When the guys don't, he shouts, "Turn around!" Michael says loftily, "If you're going to murder us, Alex, you're going to have to look us in the eyes while you do it." Mahone scoffs impatiently and says, "Shut up." Ha!
Linc shouts desperately, "You want me, you got me! Let my brother go." Mahone sets him straight, saying matter-of-factly, "I don't want either one of you." Then he totally snaps, adding at the top of his lungs, "I just want my life back!" Michael presses, "You're going to kill two innocent men to get it?" That's pretty rich coming from the guy who bent a priest's ear for the better part of an afternoon a few episodes back. Anyway, Mahone lets them know he really has no problem gunning down two strangers if it means getting his life back. Unfortunately, right before he can, the U.S. border patrol shows up and wins their subsequent territorial dispute with fellow law enforcer Mahone. However, Mahone takes some satisfaction in seeing that Michael is really bummed about being taken into custody. Ah, sweet schadenfreude.
Meanwhile, up in the sky, Sucre is asking the pilot whether there's any in-flight beverage service. He then heads back to look for something to drink. On the radio, the pilot's just been hipped to the DEA birds in the sky, and he says, "Uh-oh." Sucre's head shoots up and he asks, "'Uh-oh?' What do you mean, 'uh-oh'?" The pilot tells him: "Border patrol's on our ass." Sucre shrugs, "So how long until we get to Mexico?" The pilot -- who has left the controls and is scrabbling for a parachute -- is all, "Oh, that's flight's been cancelled due to technical difficulties." Sucre protests, "I thought they couldn't follow us once we crossed the border!" but the pilot assures him that all the rules have changed owing to 9/11. As the DEA jet closes in, Sucre asks the pilot, "What are we going to do?" The pilot hands him a grubby olive-colored knapsack and tells him, "Pull the cord. And pray." Sucre screams in reply, "Oh, hell, no!" The pilot lays it out for him: Sucre can take his changes in learning how to fly and landing the plane in one piece, or he can take his chances in jumping out of a plane and hoping his parachute deploys in time. "Oh, you're going to land. It's just a matter of how hard," the pilot tells him. Then the pilot jumps. Sucre, alone in the plane casts a panicky glance around. We then get a quick-cut sequence of him strapping on the chute, taking a quick belt of whiskey, crossing himself, and pushing out of the plane. Our last shot of him shows a dark figure hurtling downward.
Meanwhile, Fox "News" is providing exposition to Agent Kim. The news that Linc and Michael were apprehended at the border prompts a light sweat on Kim's forehead. By the time the sentence "Federal Agent Alex Mahone, with assistance from Border Patrol, took the men into custody ... " begins reeling out, he is quaking with pique.
Cut to Kellerman in a car, working the Burrows look with the unshaven face and unbuttoned shirt. He's listening to Fox "news" on the radio and smiling slightly as he slices and eats an apple.
We then transition to Fox River, where the guards are gathered around to listen to the report. Apparently, Michael and Linc have only been on the lam for ten days. It only feels like it's been sixteen weeks.
Cut to the FBI HQ in Chicago. As the newscaster announces that the Fox River Eight are down to four escapees, the office begins clapping.
Agent Kim is still listening to the report, but his expression indicates that his thoughts are somewhere else. A door opens and Kim looks over; a young be-suited goon tells him, "Sir? He just heard. And he'd like to see you." We cut to Kim; his face is frozen with dread. It's a good look on him.
Meanwhile, at a dive called the Alibi -- identified on-screen as "war veterans bar" in Pratt, Kansas, T-Bag notices the report, raises his glass to his mug shot on the screen, and wishes the other three luck: "Godspeed, gentlemen." He looks around, noting the assorted hooks and other prosthetics, then licks his lips when he sees someone with a grade-A fake plastic hand: a crotchety old guy playing pool.
T-Bag heads over to talk to the guy, opening with, "I only recently returned from delivering democracy to the desert, and I was wondering if you could tell me how a guy goes about getting one of those prosthetic jobbies." I love how he makes it sound like he was dropping off a pizza with a side of political ideology. The veteran can't believe T-Bag doesn't have a prosthetic already. T-Bag says, "Let's just say the doctor made the bed but he neglected to tuck in the sheets." Frankly, in this case, the doctor hasn't even picked up a duvet off the floor to shake off the wrinkles. How T-Bag's been running around with a bloody, raw stump and not come down with septicemia or anything is... oh, what I am saying? T-Bag only bears a superficial resemblance to humans; his anatomy is made of stronger, more narratively expedient stuff. Anyway, the veteran tells him to take it to the V.A., and T-Bag tries to follow up by asking what forms he'll need, but the guy takes a turn for the ugly: "You know what, Mister Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell? If you can figure out how to dye up that hair of yours like a nancy all by yourself, you sure as hell can figure out how to get a prosthetic for that stump of yours all by yourself." And with that, Corporal Bigot turns back to his game. T-Bag eyes the prosthetic and says reflectively, "Yeah, I think I got a pretty good idea where to start ... " He's so goal-focused: he didn't even bother to correct Corporal Bigot by pointing out that he's currently stalking and killing a heterosexual ex. And I have to hand it to the writers: they are ceaselessly inventive in finding ways to justify keeping an appendage on the end of both of Robert Knepper's arms.
We then switch to the border patrol holding facility in Las Cruces, New Mexico, just long enough to see Michael and Linc being walked to their holding cells.
Then we're back at Fox River and hey! It's Pavelka, whom we all remember as a jackball from earlier this season. He is now the warden of Fox River. The news reporter standing to Pavelka exposits that Michael and Lincoln are due to arrive back at Fox River the day, and I pause the show to wonder, "You've got an inmate with your joint's blueprints inked on his back and a history of escaping. Does it really make sense to bring him back here?" Anyway, the reporter then asks if we can expect Lincoln's hasty execution after he re-enters Fox River, and this gives us all an opportunity to hear Pavelka's V.O. as the boys are being walked to their cells: "Lincoln Burrows is a convicted murderer. His escape is a danger to lives of civilians across this country. He is not a celebrity, he is not a martyr. I can assure you, whatever leniency was afforded him and the other prisoners under the old regime at Fox River will no longer be tolerated. The only thing Mr. Burrows can is expect is what a jury of his peers demanded." A razor? A shirt with easy-to-undo buttons? Hey, you said his peers. It turns out Pavelka's thinking death, death, death. As for Michael, Pavelka says, "With his escape, the aiding and abetting charges, the felonies he's racked up along the way... on top of his original sentence, I'd say Mr. Scofield will be spending the rest of his life behind bars." We cut to a shot of Michael, who seems like he's already planning his escape from New Mexico.
And... credits. You will all be relieved to know that I am sparing you my ad-provoked pique this week, courtesy of iTunes Music Store.
When we get back, Weaver is chatting it up with Mahone for expository purposes: the Illinois Department of Correction is sending down a giant caravan to bring back the two brothers. Mahone snaps. "Remind them that this is a federal case and we'll handle the transport. Weaver rebuts that he did, but because "it's an election year" -- yeah, especially since Illinois is out a governor, not that we've seen any newscasts about that or anything -- everyone wants some credit and Pavelka called in some favors with the Chicago bureau chief. Mahone has an expression like What ? How else will this day go wrong? He looks over and both Michael and Linc are giving him the stink-eye. So Mahone glares back and says loudly, "I want to be placed in the prisoner transport vehicle." Weaver asks, "What for?" and Mahone sounds a little desperate as he asks, "Just get it done?" Weaver stolidly insists, "Sir, these were the big fish. You reeled them in. You should feel good about that." Because Mahone really doesn't want to discuss his feelings with his coworkers, he hangs up.
Meanwhile, Linc uncharacteristically looks at the holding cell as half-full rather than half-empty: "At least we're together." Michael sighs, "Yes, there is that." Then he realizes that Linc is in a talking mood. With little prodding, Linc says that he's thinking about Aldo, and "what he tried to do. Tough to go down swinging when you're locked in a box." Ah, there's the Captain Bringdown we all know and love! Michael says that it's not over yet. Eying his confiscated mobile phone, he says confidently, "We're entitled to a phone call. If I can call Sara and she has the information Dad says she has, we can get you exonerated before this whole thing goes down." He then heads over to tell the guards, "Hey! We're entitled to a phone call." The guard replies, "You're entitled to precisely squat until you're officially in custody." I like this guy; he's quick on his feet. Michael turns back to Linc, but Captain Bringdown has noticed the way Mahone's looking at them, so he mumbles, "A lot of ground to cover between here and Illinois. I mean, what are the chances we even make it to Fox River alive?" Michael glares at Linc all, the last thing I need to be doing is worrying about MORALE here.
Mahone, meanwhile, is on the receiving end of a call from Agent Kim. The agent says brightly, "I saw you on the news, Alex! The brothers too!" There's a pause and Kim continues, "They were a little more, um, breathing than I had hoped." Mahone points out that once Border Patrol showed up, they cramped his style. Kim is unsympathetic. After taking a piece of paper from a man who's a dead ringer for Colonel Kurtz, he says, "Burrows and Scofield? Can you see them from where you are?" Sure Mahone can. "Then put a bullet in their heads," Kim replies coolly. Mahone protests that perhaps the armed guards might not care for that, but Kim really doesn't care: "If they get back to Fox River, it is over for all of us. There's not much more this country loves than a bad man with a good story. How much longer do you think it'll be before someone puts a microphone in front of them?" Mahone says desperately, "With the security here, what you're asking me to do is tantamount to suicide." Kim is okay with that: "I wasn't asking anything. That would imply you had a say in the matter." Twisting the knife further, our man who's not in the field says, "Pull this off and you're halfway home. You remember what home is like, don't you, Alex? 90 West End Avenue? White fence, red door?" Mahone panics, "Stay away from my family!" The smirking Kim clicks his phone shut.
Cut to T-Bag, who is holding a newspaper with his new prosthetic. I'm guessing Corporal Bigot is probably not missing it. We see him lurking outside a post office, and when a redhead in a drab sweatshirt, baggy blue pants, and clunky sneakers goes schlepping by, he pauses for only a moment before following her.
We get another shot of her sneakers. They're Roos! I used to wear those -- in the fifth grade, along with friendship pins and Jordache jeans. Ah, memories. Anyway, the Roos lady is sitting at a diner counter, eating her lonely lunch. Fortunately for T-Bag, she's got something on her face. When he tells her this, she totally misses it, so he becomes quite the paper-napkin gallant, wiping it away with, "Pardon my forwardness. Normally I wouldn't intervene. It's just that yesterday, when I got home from work, I found what looked like the Brazilian rainforest lodged between my two front teeth." Ah, no worries then! With that land being cleared at a rate of 1000 kilometers a week, that forest is disappearing rapidly, so we can infer that T-Bag's feigned dental tragedy is merely a dental inconvenience. Like, say, a poppy seed. Anyway, we soon find out there's a reason this lady eats alone as she begins spouting off a trivia-laden monologue about how the diastema can be a magnet for food. Nevertheless, T-Bag gallantly forges on: "All this and brains too! What are you, a dentist?" No, she's Hollywood's idea of what it must be like to be a "plain"-looking woman in America: a poor dresser, socially awkward, bereft of self-confidence. The lady continues, "My ex -- my ex-husband, he was --" "A bastard?" T-Bag quickly guesses. The man has a gift for dealing with aggrieved ex-wives, doesn't he?
We see more of that fiendish aptitude in action, as T-Bag quickly convinces Denise to take him back to her place with this monologue: "Have you ever been to Italy? In Italy, they have wine with lunch every day. And what do we do with our lunch here? We power it down with caffeine, carbonation, and high-fructose corn syrup. We do not take the time to enjoy things anymore. Denise, would you do me the honor of enjoying the rest of your lunch with me?"
Now, y'all. We have established that Denise is "plain," she is socially awkward, she is lacking in self-confidence, and she can't keep a man. So what do you think her response is? If you guessed, "She snorts in an unattractive laugh, then falls for T-Bag's corny come-on," well, congratulations. You've clearly been watching a lot of American-produced entertainment.
And now, we have gotten to the plotline that is so stupid, it's getting the one-paragraph recap treatment. Here it is: because the police department in Greeley, Kansas, has confused the words "forensics" and "fossils" and outlawed the former because it's part of the devilspawn evolution heresy, Bellick is probably going to be convicted for Geary's murder. In a state where forensics hadn't been outlawed, a lawyer could undoubtedly point out, "But a simple check for time of death would show that Bellick was either at the bus station or the hospital when it happened!" Here, however, Bellick's lawyer advices him to cop a plea. So Brad does, and he asks to be sent to Fox River, ostensibly so he can be near his beloved mother, but really so he can work the inside angles with his former colleagues. However, on his first day in the pokey, the Anti-Pope tells Bellick that the Patelka regime doesn't believe in things like putting law enforcement officers into protective custody, as is typical operating procedure at every other U.S. prison outside of Contrivistan County, Illinois. Since Patelka sees nothing unsafe about releasing Bellick to the same general population he used to torment, the ex-C.O. is now locked up in the same area where Scofield used to be. And -- O, irony of ironies -- his new roommate is Avocado. Somewhere, Tweener's ghost is smiling.
Let us move on to marginally more plausible story developments. Mahone is taking a brief time-out in a deserted billet at the holding facility. He checks all the weapons he still happens to have on him, and spends a long moment staring down the barrel of his own pistol. After long reflection, however, he decides not to kill himself then and there, and heads out again. You know what would have added to that scene? Mahone gulping down a few of those Mahone's Little Helpers he used to carry around. If there were ever a time to take a mind-altering drug and escape the reality of everyday, this would be it, yes?
Meanwhile, Michael's phone is ringing. He can only give it the Blue Steel, as he hasn't yet figured out how to move objects with the power of his genius mind. Linc grouses, "Who could that be?" Michael continues giving the phone the Blue Steel as he replies, "Only one person."
We hear, "Michael, it's me. Listen, this phone rang last night and I, uh, went to answer it and I couldn't hear anything." Cut to Dr. Sara walking down the street, giant bag slung over her arm as she continues, "I wondered if it was you. Um. Oh, God, I really don't know what I should do right now. I wonder if I should leave a message or not, someone might listen to this. But I, ah, I need to know that you're okay. I need you to know that I'm not. I didn't leave you in Gila -- something happened to me, and I don't know what to do right now, I'm not too sure where to go, but I know that you're the only person I can trust, and I need you to, um, ahhh, I need you to be okay. And, ah, and I need you. Please." With that, Dr. Sara hangs up. We cut back to Michael, who is staring at the phone as if willing it to fly to his hand. (Oh, to be Mitchell Hundred, huh, Michael?)
And now, the border patrol transit team is here. There are roughly a dozen vehicles in the convoy, rocking through the night. Inside, Mahone flashes his badge and asserts, "These are my prisoners and I will be personally escorting them." The guard's not having it: "The only people allowed in the car are the driver and two people certified in prisoner transport." Mahone flashes a look at Michael, who gives him the Blue Steel in return. Mahone says, "I can't believe you're going to make me go over your head." The guard shoots back, "I'll even dial the phone for you." Between him and his colleague who dealt with Michael earlier, I am beginning to think that this border facility may be the wittiest federal law enforcement outpost in America. I smell a spin-off! Long story short: Mahone is not able to talk his way on to the transportation vehicle.
Back in D.C., Agent Kim is watching Fox "News" and seething. I suspect it's not because he has strong objections to the way they do business. Nope -- it's because there's coverage of the guys going out to the van. When Kim's phone rings, he picks it up and snaps, "There better be a damn good reason why those brothers are still alive." "Bad day, Bill?" Kellerman carols on the other end. He is looking even more scruffy and, disturbingly, it is a look that works on him. Kim snarls, "Sorry, I thought it was someone who still existed. How's the jerky business, Owen?" HA! I love it. Kellerman replies, "It's looking pretty good right now." Kim snots, "You call this number again, you're a dead man." Kellerman merrily replies, "If you don't kill Burrows and Scofield today, so are you." As he tells Kim that he's got a way to save Kim's ass, Colonel Kurtz in the corner over there hands Kim a piece of paper with the word SPEAKER written on it in block letters. Kim pops the mobile into the speakerphone cradle and tells Kellerman he's too late.
"Actually, the transport van is right where you want them," Kellerman replies, all business now. Kim can't grasp why it might be easier to kill two people in one enclosed vehicle, so Kellerman lays it out for him using small words: "You want help? I want my job back." He wants only Caroline to be the boss of him. Kim's not having it, and as he gets ready to click off, Kellerman points out, "You think Burrows and Scofield are a threat to this administration, I know everything Caroline Reynolds has ever done. Everything. Before you panic: all I am asking is to be allowed to finish the job that I started. To prove to the president -- and to you -- that I am still an asset to this administration."
Colonel Kurtz rips off a sheet of paper with the note "PLAN?" and Kim snarkily asks if Kellerman's got one of those. It turns out an old pal of Kellerman's is in the Illinois Department of Corrections, and that one guy on the inside is all Kellerman will need to be in the right place at the right time. "Those brothers get in the van, it'll be the last thing they ever do," he cockily predicts. Kim stares at the phone, torn between his own self-preservation instincts and his total unwillingness to let his workplace nemesis score one for the team.
When we get back from what would have been the commercial break, T-Bag is freshening up. On the floor, Denise is sacked out after what must have been a truly memorable five minutes. (Remember: T-Bag had been in prison a while.) And because she is so frumpy and plain and unconfident, she is, of course, wearing drab underwear. When she finally gets up off the floor, she purrs, "I have never done that before." T-Bag wipes the murdering-psycho expression off his face and replaces it with his Dixie Diamond-in-the-Rough Romantic, all, "I guess we were making up for lost time." And because Denise is a loser, we find out that she's accustomed to her trysts being with married men, adding, "Just because I'm plain doesn't mean I'm stupid... [men] only want me as something on the side." T-Bag slides over to her on a river of pure cheese: "Denise, the only side I'm interested in is your inside." Which, I suspect, he'll be seeing before this episode is out, given his proclivities. Anyway, Denise buttons up her USPS uniform and explains she has to get back to work. T-Bag promises to pick her up so they can sup together.
And now, we've got a big ol' convoy, rocking through the... day. Michael is passing his time by giving Mahone the Blue Steel. Sadly, its efficacy is reduced when it passes through two layers of glass. Mahone's phone rings and Kim brightly informs him that he's off the hook, as Kellerman and his team will be moving in right outside Albuquerque. Mindful of the debt he owes the One World Conspiracy, Mahone asks, "Where does that leave us?" It leaves him on the hook to shoot Kellerman in the melee that will invariably accompany whatever it is Kellerman has planned. Ah, Agent Kim, figuring out how to have your corpses and keep living too. Mahone is not too keen on this. Kim verbally bats him around for a little bit before cajoling, "Let Kellerman take care of this. Let him be our Oswald." "Then that makes me Jack Ruby," Mahone objects. "Ruby was acting alone. You've got the support of the United States government behind you, Alex," Kim replies. Mahone opens his mouth to begin explaining how the U.S. government fits in with all those conspiracy theories surrounding Kennedy's death, but Kim quickly changes the subject and gets him off the line. I guess when you work for the One World Conspiracy, you get tired of discussing the runners-up. Kim turns back to Colonel Kurtz there and nervously promises him that soon, "It'll be back to business as usual." The colonel gives him a look like Good. This has distracted me from the usual work of dispensing polonium to the right people, leaking memos that smack-talk foreign heads of state, and tying up the supply of TMX Elmos.
Meanwhile, inside the van, Linc is asking Michael if he has any regrets. Michael does not seize this moment to crack the tension with his best Edith Piaf impersonation. Instead, he merely replies, "You'd have done the same thing for me." There is a tiny, awkward silence before Linc finally says, " ... You think?" Heh. Anyway, Michael answers that he doesn't regret what he did, just how it turned out.
Then, because that's something of a conversational downer, the guys decide they'd like to check out the scenery for a while. Linc escapes to the world of flashbacks, wherein we discover that one of the reasons Michael kept moving from foster home to foster home was because Linc's delinquent behavior kept getting them booted. He returns to the here and now to moodily note, "It seems like I've been getting you in trouble my whole life." Michael counters, "You pulled me out of some too." Because that was an uncomfortable emotional moment for everyone, both of them decide to look somewhere else -- and happen to notice the padlock that is supposed to fasten their shackles to the floor of the van is wide open. Michael looks around as if to convey, What sort of conspiracy-based hijinks can we expect now?
Mahone's phone rings again. This time, it's Kellerman. He tells Mahone, "Me jumping in at this point... it in no way reflects my feelings about the job you've been doing. I just wanted you to know that." Mahone is kneading his temples in the universal language of exasperation, but he still manages to lie, "Of course. As long as we get the job done." Kellerman continues prepping his arsenal as he replies lightly, "We all get to go back to our families, right?" Mahone replies, "The sooner, the better. So what do I need to know?"
Meanwhile, Dr. Sara learns that Michael and Lincoln have been apprehended, are in custody, and are on a road-trip back to the beautiful Midwest. I bet she regrets leaving that voicemail message now. She certainly looks like she does.
The convoy has finally rocked on through to Albuquerque, New Mexico. They're speeding through a tunnel... only to be stopped by a construction crew. All the vehicles stop. Mahone climbs out of his and gives the convicts a meaningful look before heading over to see what's going on. A bunch of cops mill around, Mahone establishes that they'll be there a good long while, then he turns back to walk toward the van. There's a really, really cool shot of him walking back; he's backlit by the light at the end of the tunnel and his face is locked down into a detached sort of resolve. Inside the van, Linc asks what's going on, and one of the guards replies, "Are you in a hurry, convict?" Wow, what are the odds of every law enforcement professional being quippy today? Then another cop gets the guards out -- "Gimme some help getting this rig out of the road?" -- and the boys are left alone in the van. And oh, looky! Someone has left the keys on the seat.
Michael and Linc each notice the keys, then look at each other. Outside, Mahone urges them in a whisper, "Come on... " Inside, Michael says, "Let's say we get the cuffs off. Where do we go?' Linc notices a doorway on the side of the tunnel, immediately to his right. Michael says. "That's too easy." Mahone continues to urge, "Come on, Michael. Take it." Michael looks at the door to his left. Mahone looks like he's on the verge of walking over to the van, slamming the keys into Michael's palm, and screaming, "Escape already!" There are some quick-cut shots of the big rig, Mahone, the keys on the seat, Michael and Linc. Every time we cut back to Mahone, he's urging, "Take them! Take them and run!" We close up on Michael and Linc giving each other long, uncertain looks ...
And then we would, in theory, be going to commercials were it not for the fact that I'm recapping this via iTunes Music Store download. And y'all, holy cow, that place is like crack in digital downloadable form.
When we get back, Michael is telling Linc, "Let's think about this a moment." Linc is like, "You go on without me, egghead." Michael reasons, "The keys are left on the seat. The door is accidentally left open --" "It's our only shot," Linc says. Michael turns to look at him and asks, "Have you learned nothing from your time as a One World Conspiracy pawn?" Oh, not really. Using small words, he explains to Lincoln that there is an extremely strong possibility that this might be a set-up.
Kellerman and his guns are checking in with Mahone. The FBI agent's like, "I am not kidding when I tell you these guys aren't moving." Kellerman tells him, "They haven't moved in five minutes, release the semi, tell them it's fixed." "And do what?" Mahone asks. Kellerman, who is sitting on a fence with a big freakin' gun slung over his shoulder, looking like the unholy offspring of J. Crew and Guns And Ammo, locks and loads the weapon as he blithely replies, "You want the rabbit to hop, you move the carrot out."
Back in Kansas, T-Bag checks the pocket watch he also liberated from Corporal Bigot, then strolls over to the post office to pick up Denise. She is delighted to see him: "You showed!" "A gentleman always does!" he replies. Before they can go out to dinner, however, T-Bag asks "one teensy, tiny thing," namely, to look up a forwarding address. As she prints it out, Denise frets, "I really shouldn't be doing this." T-Bag reminds her, "We really shouldn't have been doing any of things we were doing this afternoon, but neither of us have been smited down yet." No, but I need someone to smite me, because my natural curiosity led me to wonder, "Exactly what sort of novel activities were they getting up to?" and the resulting mental pictures... oh, please, something smite me now. Anyway, now that T-Bag has Susan's forwarding address, it's time to break up with Denise.
Fortunately, she provides him the perfect excuse by getting clingy. After asking about his hand -- he shoves it into his shirt so it's no longer visible, Denise gets up and says, "I want to get to know you. I want to know everything about you. And if this is a part of who you are, then I want to know how --" How it is that you grabbed some afternoon delight with a guy on the most wanted poster behind you? Yep -- Denise has just noticed that the guy she knows as "Sam" is, in fact, Theodore Bagwell. T-Bag notices her sudden change in expression, and when she says, "Oh, dear God," it's like he's flashing back to Susan all over again. He turns to see the poster of himself. When T-Bag looks back at Susan, his expression is oddly resigned but he's resolute as he says, "I really wish you hadn't seen that."
The shot is of T-Bag closing and walking out of the "postal employees only" area. As he leaves, we pull back to a shot of the desks. Denise's legs are sticking out from under one of the desks. We can tell it's her because of those Roos.
And now, the scene where Dr. Sara has found some anonymous little bathroom somewhere, locked herself into it, and begun playing with razor blades. I have no idea why she's repeatedly scratching the razor blade against the surface of the mirror. Come to think of it, I have no idea why this scene is even in here. We're obviously supposed to think that she's planning her imminent demise, but given how hard she's fought to stay alive through the last few episodes, why would she do that now? There are times when false suspense works, but this is not one of them.
However, this is: we go to the Sonoran desert some 40 miles south of the border (down Mexico way), and the first thing we see is an inert body stretched prone on the ground. Either the 'chute didn't work or it was a ringer. Only after we pan up the body do we see that it's the pilot. Phew! Because if that were to be the end of Sucre, I would have been VERY UPSET. Anyway, Sucre checks out the body, then pulls his cap out of his back pocket and jams it back down on his skull. He bops on past his own working 'chute and off to the promised land of hiatus.
Meanwhile, back in the Albuquerque tunnel, Mahone gives the go-ahead for everyone to pack up and move on out. He then checks out the van. Michael is busy giving him the Blue Steel. Mahone stares back. These two are pretty evenly matched in the goggling department. After he stalks off, Linc rumbles, "Window's closing, Michael. Once the truck leaves --" Michael cuts him off with, "If we run now, we give them permission to put a bullet in our heads." Linc says, "If we stay, I'm dead within a week and you're locked up for life." I think he has the more compelling argument. But wait! There's more: Linc points out that Michael will be a sitting duck for the One World Conspiracy. Michael wants more time to call his ladyfriend Sara. Sadly, Lincoln cockblocks him: "Sara may be dead, Michael." Michael takes a moment to feel bad about that. Linc urges him, "Let me get us out of here the only way I know how." Through the fantasy and imagination that the local library can open up for anyone? No -- by fighting.
Michael resigns himself to another hectic exit. He tells Linc, "Get the keys." As Linc leans forward, Mahone snaps open his mobile and says excitedly, "Here we go, here we go." Kellerman's got it. He orders his little traffic flunkies to do their traffic-holding thing.
Linc and Michael quickly divest themselves of their chains. They have this conversation:
Michael: You know, we have no idea what's behind that door.
Linc: [sigh] Nope. You ready?
Michael: No. You?
Linc: No.
Michael: Let's go.
And off they go. The law enforcement types begin firing right as Michael slips through the door, but he's able to retain enough presence of mind to slam the door shut and lock it. Moving with incongruous slowness, the cops spread out and begin to work around the doors. Mahone quickly trots off in exactly the opposite direction.
Cut to Michael and Linc running along the network of halls they've just entered. We see them running. We see Mahone running. It's all very tense and oh, who will run into who first and all, but honestly, I am sort of tapped out on pursuits at the moment, so at this point, unless they involve explosions, or a sequence where everyone runs into a parade and tangles with the marching band, or perhaps werewolves springing out of dark corners... it's not really worth going into. Although I will say this: with all the running around Mahone's done recently, his feet must be killing him. Those black oxfords really don't look like they'd do a lot to prevent shin splints either.
Mahone whips out his mobile and tells Kellerman, "They're in, and they're heading straight for you." We cut to Kellerman, nestled behind some impossibly large and grim weapon. "Armed?" he asks. Why does it matter? You're practically straddling a Howitzer, Kellerman, so unless the boys are coming at you with irons set to the "wool" level, you're probably okay. Mahone asks where Kellerman is so he can back him up, and by "back him up," he means "kill him." Kellerman's all, "Just keep driving those two toward me. They're boxed in."
Aaaaand -- switch! We're in Ness City, Kansas, and T-Bag is walking up Susan's front porch. He pulls off his hat -- it's worth noting here that he did this with Denise too, every time he talked to her, and I can't figure out if he honestly had some manners drilled into him as a child or if this is part of his constructed persona -- and walks up the stairs, looking nervous. He rings the bell. Susan's voice calls out, "Hold on one sec!" When she comes to the door, the same woman who was so in fear for her life that she abruptly relocated just flings that door wide open without bothering to see who it is, because she just assumes it's the food delivery guy.
She is wrong. T-Bag grins, "Hello, Mrs. Hollander. They say a good woman is hard to find." Susan is too stunned to slam the door shut. She watches T-Bag advance on her as he says, "If that's true, you must be very, very, very good." As he closes the door, T-Bag tells the gaping woman, "Don't be frightened. Teddy's home."
Meanwhile, there is more pursuit, but we've already established my feelings on that. The upshot is that Mahone whips out his mobile and tells Kellerman, "They're improvising, heading toward the surface." Kellerman rolls his eyes and abandons his giant weapon. (I wonder if he names his guns. And I wonder if the big one is named Caroline?) Heading down to the labyrinth under Albuquerque, he pulls out his handgun.
Michael takes a moment to stop the running and ask Linc, "If we get separated and something happens to one of us, if one of us doesn't make it, promise me you'll find Sara." If something happens to "one of us," Linc is supposed to find Dr. Sara? Nice avoidance rhetoric there, Michael. Linc says they'll make it. Michael stubbornly extracts the promise, then they're off to the races again.
Speaking of the good doctor, remember that suicide fake-out scene? Well, yeah. Fake-out scene. We get the neck-down shot of Dr. Sara walking down the street. She stops at a trash can, pulls out her mobile -- hers, I think, not the burners she bought with Michael -- and tosses it in the trash. Then she pulls out one wallet, extracts the cash and tosses it. From the depths of the couch, the husband says, "Look, honey, Dr. Sara is finally decluttering her purse. Are you happy now?" And yes, I am. Dr. Sara declutters further by pulling out her own wallet. She falters over her Fox River ID badge -- her last link to her life as a doctor -- then tosses the whole shebang. That done, we get to pan up, where we see that Dr. Sara's given herself a new, shaggy, long bob. Frankly, it looks great on her. Between this and the purse decluttering, she ought to be feeling sassy, so really -- turn that frown upside-down and get a move on.
More running, more chasing, Michael and Linc are finally near some stairs and are about to head up them when Kellerman comes down, waving a pistol around. The guys decide the stairs are not such a hot idea after all. Mahone catches up to them, and now the brothers are covered both coming and going.
Kellerman is actually smiling during all of this. Everyone else is looking around at each other, tense and angry, and then the smiling Kellerman takes aim, shoots... and hits Mahone! Mahone! We see him roll his eyes, and as he falls to the ground, his expression is not even surprised; it's resigned.
After Linc and Michael take a second to absorb that little shocker, Kellerman steps up and says, "President Reynolds ruined your lives? She ruined my life. You want to take the bitch down? You've got your inside man, but it's got to be right now." And OH MY GOD, he has never been more insanely charismatic than right at that moment when he was all, "Hi! I'm a trigger-happy barracuda! Wanna hang out?" I mean, I am not happy with him for shooting Mahone, but I am so taken with this even-more-magnificent bastard that I'm all, "But he didn't shoot him in the head! He shot to wound! Not to kill! The shooting was only to get the brothers' trust; it wasn't personal!" Clearly, this is unwell thinking.
Michael is still gaping at the sudden developments. Kellerman shouts at them to move already and Linc -- whose popped-out eyes suggest he may actually remember Kellerman from their brief, breathless encounter -- recovers enough to keep running. Michael pauses, looks back at Mahone, then runs. At the top of the stairs, he pauses one more time to look at Mahone's sprawled form, then follows Lincoln off into the land of hiatuses.
And that's it for this year. Boy, I cannot wait to see what happens when Kellerman and Michael find Dr. Sara! Boy, I cannot wait to see if Colonel Kurtz will kill Kim as a warning to the others. And I cannot wait to see if Mahone makes it or not.