In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Let's get the D-plot out of the way first: Sucre blah blah blah Maricruz blah blah blah Hector blah blah blah love triangle blah blah blah.
And now that we've settled that, let's get on to the interesting stuff. The Bozo Fetts prove that their talents were wasted as prison guards stateside and torture both the locker key and the location out of T-Bag using a fiendish combination of duct tape, hot pokers, and Katrina & the Waves. Then Geary turns on Bellick. That plotline ends with Geary a lot richer, Bellick a lot more unconscious and T-Bag chained to a radiator. However, I expect the episode to open with the cops coming in to discover only his gross, undead hand dangling there. Eeeewww.
Meanwhile, Linc and L.J. are busted out of police custody by the shadow organization that works with "Papa" Aldo Burrows. Does that make them the Second Banana Conspiracy? Anyhoodle, Linc courts the lovely Jane by bonking her in the mouth with his scalp, then he introduces his father to his son. As the three generations of Burrows men sit around and shoot the breeze, one of the Second Banana Conspiracy stooges turns out to be reporting to Kim and the One World Conspiracy. Seeing how that works out will be fun week.
Speaking of the One World Conspiracy, Michael's plot provides ample opportunity for its assorted participants to conduct several pissing matches to see who is the most effective mastermind of all. Hint: it is not Mahone. He actually gets locked in a cage, wherein Michael taunts him. That is the high point of Michael's day. It is all downhill from there: first Dr. Sara seems less than enthusiastic about taking a road-trip to Panama, and even leaves him alone in the hotel room while she decides she's better off on her own. She is wrong: Kellerman captures her within minutes. week will probably not be so fun for her -- something tells me "Lance" did not track Dr. Sara down for a chat over crack-topped pie.
However, we all have a lot to look forward to. Don't y'all just love sweeps? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Prison Break... T-Bag's plans for courtship and killing go awry, Linc's plans for staying on the lam go awry, and Mahone's plans for clinging to the remainders of his sanity go bye-bye after Michael taunts him via the ex-Mrs. Mahone's stolen mobile phone.
And now, we are all walking on sunshine. Don't it feel good? Not if you're T-Bag, it don't. The reason we're all listening to Katrina and the Waves at an eardrum-splitting volume is because Bellick and Geary are torturing T-Bag in order to find out where he's stashed the $5 million he's got. And one of the ways they're torturing T-Bag is by playing odious music at top volume. Either that, or they too have the Like Omigod! The '80s Pop Culture Box and T-Bag is about to be hit with the Timex Social Club.
It is to the credit of all three actors that Geary and Bellick manage to evoke feelings of pity for T-Bag as the suffering victim here. It is also to their credit that I don't ask until the end of the scene, "Wouldn't the neighbors have come over to check out the screaming and the mediocre 1980s pop? Especially since the Bozo Fetts mention they've been 'working over' T-Bag all night? Or maybe the realtor swung by to take a look at the house and noticed that two sweaty bullies were brutalizing one wiry little degenerate? No?"
Mercifully, we move from that savage scene to Chicago FBI headquarters. There's a tight close-up on Lincoln's mug shot, and then we see Lang scribble a big red X over it. She then stands up and announces calmly, "Confirmed -- Burrows is in custody." The room erupts in cheers and applause and she breaks out into a big grin. That really makes me like her. Really! True, she may (or may not) be part of the One World Conspiracy, and she may (or may not) be grappling with the perpetual urge to sink a Bic into Mahone's left eardrum. However, I like that she's a good manager and she's mostly competent at her job. Anyway, Lang asks Wheeler if he's been able to track down Mahone -- perhaps she's got a festive red Bic with his name on it -- but we establish that he's currently MIA.
Kellerman is also trying to raise Mahone and failing, so he has to settle for a quick chat with Kim. Kellerman says brightly, "Lincoln Burrows is in custody!" Kim stalks around some balcony in downtown Chicago, looking like Conspiracy Stoogus of Borg with his Bluetooth headset. He smarms, "That's why I called. Who has [Linc]?" Heaven forefend actual law enforcement have a fugitive in custody. Kim then gets shirty over Mahone's disappearing act, as the whole point to embroiling Mahone in the One World Conspiracy was to make him "the official face" for all their fugitive-slaughtering needs. Kellerman tells Kim to step off, pointing out, "There won't be anything official, and there won't be any questions." Kim disagrees: "Of course there will. Just make sure no one's left to answer them."
Meanwhile, in verdant Wilcox, Arizona, Lincoln, and LJ are marking time in the back of a single police cruiser. It's good to know that with such a high-profile apprehension of a nationally-wanted felon and his son, there's no need to put the Burrows boys in separate cars, or to have a multiple-car escort to make sure something doesn't go wrong.
Anyhoodle, Linc is trying to convince the two cops in the front seat that L.J. has nothing to do with the whole sordid escape-from-prison mess when a big, black van looms into view. Because it quickly gets up to ramming speed, the cop soon concludes, "I don't think it's one of ours." You think? Also, why does it not surprise me that the same geniuses who had but one dinky car for the most wanted man in America do not think to drive evasively? Long story short: the squad car is soon run off the road into the luxuriously leafy old-growth forest that is so common throughout Arizona. Not one to miss an opportunity for escape, Linc soon kicks open a back door and bids L.J. to follow him as they hobble to freedom. Good thing L.J. suffered no internal injuries from his run-in with the speeding car, huh?
The Burrows boys begin running awkwardly, but a squad of rapidly moving Sprockets quickly apprehends them. The guys all grab the still-handcuffed Linc and L.J. quickly, while the woman decides to take command of the situation with an "Okay, calm down --" opener. It is ineffective: Linc un-calmly head-butts her. She rears back, and then Linc gets her goat again by interrupting her attempted threat to bellow, "Who the hell are you?" She tells him they're with his father. Dad Ex Machina! Awesome!
And now we move to a conversation between Mahone and Kellerman. Kellerman is all, "Lincoln Burrows has been apprehended!" but Mahone is too chill to care. Kellerman says, "I'll need your talents on the ground." What an excellent euphemism for "I will need you to gun someone down in cold blood." I must begin using it immediately with my own henchmen. Now, if only I could find reliable henchmen... Anyway, enough about me. Mahone is all, "I'll get there when I get there," and poor magnificent bastard Kellerman is forced to get snippy with him: "I don't think you heard me. Get to Arizona." Mahone protests, "I'm thisclose to Scofield." Kellerman snaps, "We have a bird in the hand." "So might I," Mahone counters. It's too bad all that time spent staring at birdbaths didn't help him understand that the whole point to the "bird in the hand" bromide is that it's what you do have that counts, not what you might get. Anyway, Mahone reveals that he's in lovely Gila, New Mexico, so he can crash Michael's rendezvous with Dr. Sara later today.
Commercials. Apparently, the people who make the Dodge Nitro were at an impressionable age when they read Dante's Inferno.
When we return, we're still in Gila, New Mexico. Dr. Sara has just checked into her hotel, and is taking advantage of the moment alone to stand in front of the mirror and have flashbacks. After recalling Governor Dad's body swinging in the breeze, she dumps her bag all over the bathroom counter -- and it drives me nuts that she's got so much unorganized clutter, but I am something of an organization junkie -- and finds the odd-looking square key she had picked up off her dad's body. Dr. Sara, you wouldn't have to do this if you would just organize your freakin' purse. I swear, I'm going to have to re-organize mine just to calm down after this scene. Fortunately, Dr. Sara throws me a bone by finally snapping that key on to her keychain. Then she looks in the mirror, as if to confirm, Yep -- in the last two days I have endured the murder of my father, multiple attempts on my own life, and the violation of my bail agreement as I went on the lam. Yet I am still looking pretty good in the hair and skin department.
And then we are off to lovely Trinidad, Colorado. The big black van takes Lincoln and L.J. to a house in a secluded area. Some bland dude opens the van doors to let Linc out; Linc growls, "What are you looking at?" "A rude person!" El Blando replies. I wish. Anyway, we head inside the house, and Linc is still going on with the questions. The blonde, Jane, says, "All I can tell you is [that] he's on his way. His flight lands in an hour." Linc asks why he should trust Jane, and she replies serenely, "I don't see you have much of a choice." I should just reveal here that I dig Kristin Lehman, so I am tickled to see her here. It is my dream that she and Elaine Hendrix star together on a show where they play wise-cracking trophy wives who solve crimes. Can't you see it? Isn't it a beautiful dream? ["I feel that. She was so delightfully annoying on Felicity, too." -- Sars]
Ahem. Getting back on track... Jane quickly establishes that she's in charge of the situation and points out that they had also been expecting Michael. She asks where he is, and Linc replies, "Do you really think I'm going to answer that?" Jane replies, "You need to start cooperating with us, Lincoln." As if to emphasize how much Lincoln has already irritated her, Jane then touches her bloody lip. She points out she's only trying to help, and Linc broods as she waltzes off.
Speaking of broody, here's Michael's mug shot. Mahone's asking some hotel clerk if the little felon looks familiar, but... no dice. That would be because the hotel's a far classier joint than the one Dr. Sara's crashed at. The clerk alludes to the other hotel in town, which is our cue to transition to Dr. Sara just finishing her post-travel ablutions, and getting interrupted by a knock on the door.
A voice on the other side of the door tells her she's got a fax. Dr. Sara tells him to slide it under the door. He does, and she reads the message, "One hour. Butterfield Road." Well. Michael is nothing if not pithy.
And now, we cut to a shot of a car on an open road, and the music that we've associated with incipient race riots and improbable scheming. We're in Dinosaur, Nebraska, with a shirtless Sucre. That is the good news. The bad news is, the rest of his plot is ridiculously boring. Let's sum the whole thing up: Sucre's car breaks down. Yet he still manages to move around this great nation of ours and make a phone call to Maricruz's place, wherein he learns that she is currently taking what would have been her honeymoon in Mexico. Sucre asks her to call him back at the payphone, but when it rings, there's a cop nearby, and in a rare moment of self-preservation, Sucre decides not to answer. So he then calls back and asks Maricruz to meet him at the Ixtapa airport in a week. The reunion promises to be a fun one, as Maricruz's honeymoon plans are apparently news to Hector, and now he's off to reclaim his runaway bride.
Now we can move on to the other three more interesting plots currently percolating in this episode.
So Dr. Sara's driving to her rendezvous point on the remote Butterfield Road. It's a dead-end road, and the rendezvous point is by a mailbox that has no house attached to it anymore. Dr. Sara checks the mailbox, then resumes looking around like, "What the hell, Scofield?" We see another car slowly slide into view. Dr. Sara gets out of her car, taking care to use it as a shield between herself and the other car, and then we see Michael get out. He's wearing a big ol' pair of "Respect Mah Authori-TAH!" sunglasses, which really do nothing for him, and neither does his opening line: "Hello, Sara."
And we're at commercials. You are telling me that in the history of the entire Subway franchise, there's only one customer who lost weight whilst eating those sandwiches? They can't find another spokesperson?
After we return to Butterfield Road, we see that Michael's parked his car at a 90-degee angle to Dr. Sara's, and he's walking over to greet her now. Nobody flings themselves into the other person's arms. Instead, the two stand about eight feet apart, and have this conversation:
Michael: I wasn't sure you'd come.
Dr. Sara: I didn't have a choice.
Michael: This isn't going to be easy for you. [Takes off the sunglasses so as to convey that it's going to be SO DIFFICULT, even accessorizing eyewear will be a hardship.]
Dr. Sara: You said in your message that you had a plan to make all of this right. I need to know what that is.
Michael: [Thought bubble reading, "Perhaps I oversold it... "]
We interrupt this awkward reunion to cut to Mahone at the Sundown Hotel. The clerk helpfully tells him that Dr. Sara checked in alone, and that she received a fax in the morning. Mahone quickly pulls the last message off the fax's memory and establishes that the location is but five minutes away. When the helpful clerk asks, "If she comes back, is there something you want me to do?" Mahone says smugly, "She's not coming back."
Nope. She is, instead, continuing the world's most awkward reunion.
Michael: I've arranged for us to get to Panama. We're meeting up with my brother tomorrow.
Dr. Sara: Wait -- that's your... plan?
Michael: [Thinks, "Her reaction isn't what I planned."]
Dr. Sara: To run away to Panama with the two most wanted men in America? Michael, I came here because I thought you were going to have real answers for me.
Michael: This is an answer. [Thinking, "It is, too! Don't you love my big, scheme-y brain anymore?"] And right now it's the only one we've got.
Dr. Sara: Running away into the sunset with the man who lied to me? Really? Did you know about the other guys? Did you know I would be letting T-Bag back out onto the street?
Michael: I never meant for that to happen. I was doing what I needed to do. My brother was going to die --
Dr. Sara: And now my father's dead.
This is the point where Michael is either near tears or indulging in a manful sniffle or two. Who can blame him? He probably thought there might be some making out, and instead, he's in the middle of what feels like talking to the angry ex, only they never went out in the first place. Michael finally pulls it together and tells Dr. Sara, "I am sorry about your father. I'm sorry for a lot of things -- for what I did to you. I have many, many regrets. But that's the biggest." Dr. Sara proves once and for all that she did make it through Don't Do Time in the Prison of Love AND its follow-up Don't Give Him Parole in Your Bed, and she tells Michael that his apologies really aren't what she'd consider "helpful" right now. So Michael apologizes some more. He puts the sunglasses back on like they were protective armor, then adds, "I didn't expect, uh, I didn't expect you to forgive me. But I don't want you to, ah... I don't want you to be alone in this." After the bad craziness dies down, Dr. Sara needs to revise her Michael Scofield stance, because having a boyfriend who can be properly penitent can be a good thing.
Aaaaand it looks like that stance revision is starting... now. Dr. Sara walks toward Michael, admitting, "I don't want to be alone," and they are thisclose to hugging but then Mahone has to ruin it all by heading down the road toward them. Michael orders Dr. Sara to get in the car, and she does, without going back and grabbing her purse first. Dr. Sara's handbag habits will be the death of me.
Once America's favorite fugitive un-couple gets in the car, it becomes clear that the only way Michael's going to get out of there is if he plays a game of chicken with Mahone and wins. Fortunately for all of us, he does. And then there are some more automotive hijinks and long story short, there's a car chase that ends up at an old factory. The real reason it ends up there is because you can't have a tense cat-and-mouse chase scene between Michael and Mahone in someplace that isn't simply teeming with hazardous substances and lethal objects, but the producers cover for that by having Michael crash his car into one of the factory's sheds.
Meanwhile, back in Kansas, a nation that's gone entirely too long without seeing any depictions of prisoner brutality by sadistic guards gets that thirst quenched. That's right -- more torturing T-Bag, this time with shish kebab skewers that have been heating on the gas stove for a while. When T-Bag realizes his own roasting flesh is on the menu, he makes a desperate break for it. In the ensuing fracas, the key that was hidden in his sock flies free, the Bozo Fetts notice, and T-Bag quickly swallows the precious object before either of his tormenters can lay their greasy paws on it.
Cut to a shot of a colander being placed in a toilet bowl, then the de-pantsed T-Bag being duct-taped to the whole set-up. T-Bag is listing to one side, looking like he's in shock. Bellick tells him, "We're going to see that key again, friend. We're going to see it real soon." Geary comes in with the means by which that key will be making its return: prune juice, some dips, and a bag of sliders. He asks Bellick, "What do you want first?" We get a long shot of T-Bag's battered face, and then Bellick says maliciously, "Looks like a chew guy to me." The Bozo Fetts pack T-Bag's mouth full of tobacco. Geary commands, "No spitting," and Bellick adds, "He's had worse things in his mouth." T-Bag tries to glare, but his eyes aren't exactly under his own command.
Back in New Mexico, Michael and Dr. Sara have found an alcove in the factory that'll hide them for a bit. Dr. Sara says they've got to get back to her car. Michael protests that it's too far. Dr. Sara points out that it's better to get the car before Mahone calls for back-up, but Michael (correctly) reasons, "He won't call for back-up... he's not trying to catch me. He's trying to kill me."
Commercials. Despite my firm conviction that there needs to be a national law prohibiting the airing of Christmas-themed commercials until the day after Thanksgiving, I am beguiled by the Tord Boontje for Target products.
When we get back, we're in Colorado, where Linc is explaining to L.J. that "your grandfather... was the reason I was set up in the first place. He used to work for the people who wanted me dead. This is all just to get to him." L.J. has a look like, "So you're saying that my problems with you are somewhat less justified than the ones you have with him?" Jane comes in to tell Lincoln that Dad Ex Machina will be there shortly. Linc apologizes to Jane about the lip. He then asks if Jane knows Dad Ex Machina. It turns out the two are colleagues from their days at the One World Conspiracy. Linc jabs, "So I guess you walked out on your family too -- no explanation, no goodbyes... " "I don't have a family," Jane says. Will the evils of the One World Conspiracy never end? First the fixing of oil prices, then the reinforcement of the glass ceiling. Bastards! Jane says, "Lincoln, he really wants to see you -- and your brother. He hasn't seen Michael since he was ten years old." The bland white guy from before comes in to tell Jane that Dad Ex Machina is allegedly here. Jane stalks off, and Lincoln collars L.J. so they can race-walk down a long and lovely hall in the back of the house. Linc explains to L.J. that they're am-scraying because "Michael never met our father." Ergo, Jane must be lying. His escape is thwarted -- and we figure that Michael must have met Dad Ex Machina at some point, because there's the man now, not looking too pleased to see his offspring. Go figure.
Meanwhile, Dad Ex Machina's other son is busy running around an abandoned factory with an anxious Dr. Sara bobbing in his wake. Michael looks around and sees something, then urges Dr. Sara on. She protests briefly, but he reassures her, "I'll be right behind you. Go!" She does. These two do well in crisis situations together. They're just not very good with the day-to-day stuff. Mahone comes into the factory, gun drawn. Michael picks up a convenient length of pipe and hunkers down, trying to figure out what he'll do . We get a series of shots designed to give us the impression that the minute Mahone leans his head around a corner, Michael will whack it, and then Mahone moves in a different direction. There's some more moodily-lit cat-and-mouse pursuit in the warehouse, and Michael carefully knocks over a length of pipe so as to freak out Mahone and make him think Michael's in a much different location than he actually is. Mahone scampers off, leaving Dr. Sara undiscovered.
Cut to Arizona, where Kellerman's day is getting worse by the minute. He's surveying the wreckage left behind by Lincoln's rescuers, and then he has to call Kim with the message, "The news is not good. Burrows was intercepted before I got here. But we're not that far behind --"
On that same rooftop in Chicago, Kim is still pacing around wearing his Bluetooth headpiece. He assures Kellerman that "someone will take care of it." Kellerman says wearily, "Bill, tell me you're not bringing someone else in on this... " Kim smiles and says merrily, "You didn't think you were alone, did you? You're a soldier. There's an army." He then tells Kellerman it's time to go after Sara Tancredi because "we need to know what her father told her. When you find out, give me a call." Kellerman slaps the phone shut, in a totally sour mood because now he's going to have to go kill his partner in pie-eating.
Speaking of the lissome pastry consumer, there she is, making a discreet getaway. Even better, she's disabling Mahone's car by yanking all the wires out.
Meanwhile, Michael's still running around the factory, trying to elude Kellerman. He cuts his arm on a protruding metal flange, and manages to muffle his shout of pain. Michael keeps skulking around, and notices a tag on a pipe that warns of flammable gas. Michael then notices a big, caged-off area near the pipe. Mahone's closing in. Michael turns the valve for the gas.
Back in Kansas, Bellick and Geary are whiling away the hours by drooling over the shiny pictures in a boating magazine. Bellick says, "This one right here -- a 75-foot, twin diesel engine... you pull up in a boat like that, you're somebody." That is probably the most telling statement that's come out of his mouth all season. Bellick is such a pathetic villain. Just then, T-Bag issues an agonized cry. Looks like the tobacco worked. Bellick tells Geary, "Get the stool." Geary's eyes bug out, but he asks anyway, "What stool?" Bellick reiterates, "The stool." Geary gives him a horrified look. The broken and bloody T-Bag slumps on the throne.
Mercifully, we then cut to Geary retrieving the key. He only rinses it, as opposed to dunking it in boiling alcohol for an hour or twelve like I would -- wait. I would no more be the stool-processing stooge in any torturing-for-fun-and-profit scheme than I would actually be in a torturing-for-fun-and-profit scheme. Anyway, now that the Bozo Fetts have their key, they're off. They've handcuffed T-Bag to a radiator. Bellick dances over to show T-Bag how they're now calling 911 on his battered ass, and for the first time in this ordeal, T-Bag breaks. He begs, "No, no, no, don't do that now -- come on. Come on, please don't do this. Just don't leave me like this, okay? I'm begging you, don't do this -- please." As the Bozo Fetts depart, T-Bag screams, "Please!" one more time. Then he begins to work on his bonds. We see that Bellick handcuffed T-Bag to the radiator by his re-attached hand. Frankly, that seems like sloppy work to me, but I think this whole plotline has demonstrated that Bellick and Geary are merely overgrown schoolyard bullies who are too cowardly to face the prospect of actually thinking through how to best use pain to get what they want from another human being.
Back in the maze-cum-factory in New Mexico. Given how most industrial processes are all about efficiency, it's clear to see how any business would have failed if it were saddled with this spatial boondoggle. Mahone ends up in a little cul-de-sac, and the minute he notices it, Michael's locked him into what appears to be a fenced-in cage. The yell he emits while slamming the door shut is kind of hot. Mahone pulls his gun on Michael, and the fugitive says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Alex. You smell that? It's propane. It's filling the room, and if you pull that trigger, we both die." Mahone snarls. That is also kind of hot. ["Seconded." -- Sars]
Fortunately, I have a commercial break filled with depressing movie promos to recover from all the sexy, smoldering antagonism.
When we get back, Mahone is still waving his gun around and shouting, and he's still kind of hot. He rasps, "I'll do it! I'll do it!" Michael is giving him a contemptuous Blue Steel. He then says, "Before you do, let me ask you a question, Alex. Do you still think you're one of the good guys? Fighting the good fight? Because I think we both know you've crossed over." It's worth noting that Michael is bathed in unearthly white light as he says this, while Mahone's face is covered in shadow. Michael continues -- his face now half in shadow, because the lighting director is nothing if not a keen student of symbolism -- by saying, "You're on the wrong side, chasing the wrong guys. My brother is innocent. He never killed anyone." Mahone leans back into the light as he says sarcastically, "Thanks for opening my eyes." Michael taunts him: "Okay, Alex. Shoot. We both know what'll happen." Mahone makes an inarticulate, disgusted sound before pointing out that the propane's going to kill him anyway, so why wouldn't he want to take Michael out so long as he's at it? Michael concedes his point. So he breaks a few windows, then slams the fence with his little crowbar as he says, "There. There!" Now that he's had that little fit of pique, Michael can regain his cool. He leans in to tell Mahone that he should think about what he's doing, and adds, "But first, a word of advice: stop. Because when you get close, I will win, every time. And I will look really, really hot doing it." Or maybe that last part is silent. Mahone is unmoved by both the verbal and the unspoken sentiments. He says derisively, "You think?" Michael points out, "I'm not the one in the cage." Mahone replies, "There's one big difference between you and I, Michael, and you just proved it." That Michael hasn't recognized how you two are Mind Mates and you have, Mahone? ["That Michael can use the objective case in a prepositional phrase correctly?" -- Sars] No -- it's that Michael can't kill. Mahone points out that only the sweet embrace of death will keep him from dogging Michael's trail all the way to Panama. Michael stalks off-screen, irked by the thought that even the Panama part of the plan's been made plain. Mahone says, "I will get you," and then whispers, "I don't have a choice." Poor baby!
Dr. Sara comes rolling up in her car -- oh, thank goodness, she's been reunited with her purse -- just as Michael's cleaning out the trunk of his beater. Michael scoots over to the car. Dr. Sara does not cackle lasciviously and say, "Need a ride, sweet cheeks?" But wouldn't it be awesome if she did? America's un-fun un-couple takes off.
Back in Kansas, the Bozo Fetts have just gotten $5 million richer. As Bellick hefts the duffel bag to a nearby counter so he can confirm that it's filled with 1970s money, Geary whips out the meat-tenderizing mallet they had recently used on T-Bag. Bellick opens the bag and says, "Ain't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" Geary doesn't think so. He thinks the sight of Bellick collapsing after he's hit the other Bozo Fett with the mallet is probably the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. But the cash is a very close second. As he collects a few scattered bundles of cash, Geary snarls at Bellick's prone bulk, "time, you pick through the crap." And he's off... until he runs into whichever escaped Team Escarpara member will take the money off his hands. My money's on Haywire.
And then we bounce back to the land of enchantment. Dr. Sara's disguised herself by putting on a baseball cap, and she runs into a local mini-mart to stock up on everything the well-equipped fugitive needs. For those of you planning to go on the lam, that would include: first-aid kits, disposable phones, and toothbrushes. Disappointingly, that list does not include chocolate, birth control, or US Weekly. See what I mean about being America's un-fun un-couple? We find out that Dr. Sara's checked them into the local no-tell motel. Insert your own comment about the fit between the people and the venue to which they are repairing. The two walk toward the hotel. Dr. Sara asks if Michael wants his hat back. He doesn't answer; perhaps he thinks that so long as she has his hat, they're going steady. At least, they're going steady in his head.
She then dresses his wounds in what appears to be the most upscale no-tell motel ever. Not that I have extensive experience in the kinds of venues that have four "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"s on the registry, but I've stayed at worse than the one depicted here. As Dr. Sara does her work, Michael reminds her, "I have a high tolerance for pain. You know that." Fortunately, Dr. Sara does not have a high tolerance for his lies. She clears up any lingering misconceptions about the state of Michael's blood sugar, then asks, "Michael, tell me something. Do you think there's a part of you that enjoys this?" He replies, "Peroxide in an open wound? No." Well, someone is still miffed that Dr. Sara's not exactly champing at the bit to go to Panama with him. Dr. Sara clarifies: "I mean the escaping from prison, and being on the run, and the danger, and the fear, and the rush, and all that. It feels to me like chasing a high. And I know what that's like. And I should know better." From the depths of the couch, the husband cackles, "I wish I could quit you, Michael Scofield!"
On-screen, Michael admits he never thought about it like that. Then he gives her a very sincere look and says, "I know you've heard this before, but it won't always be like this." Yeah. It could get worse. Michael woos her with sweet logic: "They can't chase us forever. The guy that caught up with us today, he stops at the border. That's why we have to get across. I have the people in place to help us do that. We're meeting them tomorrow." I hope they're played by Dirk Benedict, Dwight Schultz, and Mr. T. Because that would be awesome. Anyway, Michael puts the smooth, hand-caressing moves on Dr. Sara while giving her his best Amazo-the-Hypnotist look and begging, "One more day, Sara. That's all I'm asking." Dr. Sara replies, "Then go get cleaned up." Michael dare not hope that she take him up on an invitation to join him in the shower, but he does tell her he's glad she came. Then he's off to shower. Alone.
Back in Colorado, Dad Ex Machina is taking in the wonder of L.J. He says, "You named him after yourself." Lincoln replies, "I wasn't going to name him Aldo." For some reason, Aldo and Jane seem miffed by this. L.J., however, is delighted to meet a live relative. It must be a novel experience for him. As Jane peeks in on the reunion, Lincoln seethes, and Aldo explains how he's arranged a safe house for the two of them. L.J. looks to his dad for a reaction, and Linc stubbornly says, "Thanks for bailing us out, but we have to meet Michael... by the border, a place called Bolshoi Booze." Aldo offers to go get Michael. Linc stubbornly refuses. Aldo says, "Things are different. There's some evidence. We just need a little more time, and we can blow this whole thing wide open --" Linc mows him down with, "There is no time! I trust Michael. He has a plan to get us to Panama --" Aldo interrupts to tell Lincoln he doesn't get it: there's no need to go to Panama. As this discussion is going on, bland white guy stops eavesdropping to take a call from... Evil Agent Kim? I cannot decide if that is awesome or awesomely contrived. The upshot is, this happy family reunion is about to go off the rails because the One World Conspiracy has a plant in its alumni association.
Back in Kansas, T-Bag struggles against a radiator. Apparently, the cops in town are busy raising the horses they'll use to equip the cavalry unit that will eventually respond to Bellick's 911 call. In the meantime, things aren't looking too good for T-Bag's newly reattached hand. It is probably about to become a separate accessory again. We finally hear sirens in the distance as T-Bag continues struggling.
And out in New Mexico, Michael emerges from the hotel shower, clad in boxers and tee. He calls for Dr. Sara. She's left him a note on one of his old origami cranes. It reads, "This time I know better. I'm sorry... " Michael sinks to the bed and tries to pull it together.
The dude should have just looked out the window, because Dr. Sara's sitting in the car going through fits of indecision. If Michael had just put on some pants and told her to come back inside, I bet she wouldn't have fallen into Kellerman's clutches. Instead, she decided to head back in on her own, but is instead marched off-screen by Kellerman at gunpoint. Who knows what happens now?