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This season has officially gotten 100% better. Why? Kellerman's back! And he's as magnificent a bastard as ever, because he's posing as a 12-stepping addict in order to get close to the rehabbing Dr. Sara. Well-played, my little shark prince. Well-played.
Unfortunately, this episode got worse for nearly everyone else. Sucre finds out that Maricruz is about to marry Hector, but he hangs up the phone before hearing the critical words "...in Las Vegas." So he steals a car, almost gets caught by the cops in Pennsylvania, eventually catches a train, then makes it back to Bed-Stuy...just in time to learn that he's got only a few days to crash the wedding in Las Vegas.
C-Note's wife has finally figured out that he wasn't in Iraq. He has to talk his angry woman down, then he goes and gets all schmoopy with his daughter, which is very sweet but also very dumb, as Mahone & Co. are all over that family. In fact, one of Mahone's underlings is currently working on Mrs. C-Note, who looks mad enough to sing about her husband's whereabouts.
Also, we see the introduction of the subplot best titled "Grumpy Old Men," as a chance encounter in a convenience store leads to Bellick and Geary's teaming up as bounty hunters. This promises to be entertaining.
Finally, Michael manages to heal Lincoln with a big jar of cayenne pepper (really), liberate the car -- but not the backpack that had all the stuff they needed -- and stage a dramatic, fiery car crash. Although Mahone's all squinty and resigned-looking at the end of the episode, it's not certain whether he really believes Scofield and Burrows perished in an accident. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
So we begin at a smoking car wreck. The car's upended, the rescue personnel are all thinking, "We don't really need a stretcher so much as we need a bucket and spatula," and Mahone's standing there with an inscrutable look on his chiseled mug. The ME comments, "You do all that work, break out of prison, and you die at the bottom of a ditch. Kind of sad, really. So which one of them was it?" Mahone can't bring himself to answer, as he's in the throes of a flashback to twelve hours ago...
...When he was in the Chicago FBI headquarters. We get another shot of the bulletin board with everyone's mug shots on it, just in case we've forgotten who's escaped. Agent Lang tells Mahone they've got an eye on all the hospitals, adding, "If they've got Band-Aids and Bactine, we've got a body in there." Also, Lang and team are still spying on the convicts' families. Mahone pulls some more of his "I'm in their head"-fu and asks, "Whatâs the hardest thing in the world for a con to do?" The answer to that, it appears, is "Nothing." Mahone continues, "Few things in life are certain -- death, taxes, and the fact that a man on the run will make a mistake some time in the first 72 hours." So how many episodes do we have before Michael's out of that window of danger? I can never track time on this show. As Mahone carries on about how convicts will inevitably get caught while they're arranging a set of wheels or whatever, he's all up in Lang's face. She looks like she is not sure whether to be frightened or thrilled.
Speaking of people who are never quite sure how to act around a dude who stares a lot...it's Nika! She's answering the door in her apartment, and it's Michael, supporting Lincoln. "I need your help," he says. "I will be more than happy to assist you boys out of your clothes," she replies. Oh, she does not. But I'm betting more than one of you would say that if these two showed up on your doorstep asking for favors.
As Michael barrels in with the groaning Linc, he asks, "Cayenne pepper?" Nika's all, "What? You leave prison and the first thing you want to do is cook gumbo?" Michael asks for the cayenne pepper again. He also asks for rubbing alcohol, towels, and painkillers. This is going to be really interesting gumbo. From the couch, Linc pipes up that he would like some booze, please. Nika hustles.
Over the few seconds, Michael cleans up Linc's wound and explains to the complaining Linc, "If we keep moving, that leg keeps bleeding. If that leg keeps bleeding, we're not getting out of Illinois." He then takes advantage of the fact that Linc's just swallowed an handful of pills with a vodka chaser: first, Michael douses the wound with rubbing alcohol, then he digs out the bullet. Nika gets on his case about how he shouldn't come by, and she's grateful and all, but -- and Michael, who is elbow-deep in his brother's gore and trying to concentrate and all, bursts out, "Yeah, I know, this wasn't part of our deal, I KNOW." He then apologizes like crazy. We cut to Linc, who is looking a little woozy from the massive dose of depressants that just hit. Nika tells him that she was worried; she had hoped the Bros. Burrows/Scofield would have been south of the border, down Mexico way, by now.
Michael finishes ministering to Linc and tells the big lug he has to go back for the car. Linc grits out, "Forget the car -- we can get another" because it has not yet hit him that A) Michael is something of a planner, and B) if Michael says he needs something, he needs it. You'd think that the events of the last two months might have made more of an impression. Michael puts his Cubs hat on again and sighs, "In that car is everything we need to disappear." That's right -- David Copperfield is in the trunk!
Actually, it looks like David Copperfield is now working parking enforcement in Oswego, if the gaping space on the street where Michael's car used to be is any indication. The broken glass indicates that someone also took the trouble to break into the dingy little jalopy before it was hauled off. Michael hunkers down to pick up some glass, and that's when the camera zooms to a heretofore-unexplored area of Michael's tattoo -- the bar code around his wrist. The product code at the bottom reads .
At FBI headquarters, Mahone rushes to meet with a vagrant who has Michael's backpack. I...I sort of can't believe that Michael or Linc went anywhere without that thing anyway. I mean, did we not just see an episode where Michael's all, "Check out the backpack with our fake Ids and lots of cash"? And since it's a BACKPACK, what was to stop either one of them from wearing it during their silly Operation Free Yet Another Guy Named Lincoln? It's not like they wouldn't have had their hands free while wearing a BACKPACK. I just...aigggh. It seems totally inconsistent with Michael's character is all I'm saying. The whole point to this scene is to establish that the brothers are kind of hosed without the magic backpack. Mahone knows this. And we know that Mahone knows this. He smugly says, "Looks like we got our first mistake."
Credits, then commercials. I am still seething over that backpack business, but seeing the Rock giving inspirational speeches has snapped me right out of that. Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Does it smell like chocolate-chip cookies to you too?
And now we're back on Bellick. He is in a local convenience store, picking up a six-pack and some jerky. Insert your own quip about jerky for a jerk here. Anyway, Bellick's hassling the counter jockey over the store's sad lack of teriyaki jerky -- and asking the dude to get him a bottle of Early Times, because lord knows Jim Beam's for stuck-up college boys like Scofield -- when who should wander out of the can but the store's security guard, Geary. Bellick asks, "How goes it, Roy?" right before punching him in the face. Cue the brawl.
Sadly, we only get the opening ceremonies, and by the time the scene rolls around, the guys have kissed and made up. In a totally manly way, of course. Bellick says ruefully, "To be totally honest, Roy, I could have done without the knee to the junk." Roy defends himself: "You bit me, Brad! Like a little girl, you bit me." I think we all just got a totally unsolicited peek into Roy's love life. Anyway, Bellick concludes, "What's crazy is us taking it out on each other for how things turned out. You want someone to blame, how about those convicts?" Yeah, how about those convicts? The ones that took advantage of your bribery-susceptible, personal-belongings-stealing, totally phoning-it-in ways -- why, they're the ones who deserve all the blame! Bellick grumps, "They took my job, my pension, my dignity." Well, two out of three, anyway. Anyway, Roy decides that hanging out with an aggrieved drunk is no fun, so he pokes Bellick into becoming a mean drunk by suggesting that maybe the two of them could hit the road as some bounty-hunting team. Bizarrely, I am looking forward to seeing how this works out. It's like the beginning of a new franchise: Hateful Old(er) Men.
Meanwhile, Michael is scoping out the towing lot where his car went. He is then forced to walk in to the office and interact with a live, non-felonious human. Going by Michael's halting inquiry into how to get his car back, this could be the most challenging thing he's undertaken yet. Chuck the car jockey asks what Michael's car looked like.
We then get an echo of the inquiry with Mahone asking, "What did it look like? The car you stole the backpack from." The vagrant says, "I dunno know, man, maybe it was...gray." We quickly cut to Michael saying it was a gray Accord. Wow, do you think the people who make this show are trying to demonstrate how Michael and Mahone are really Mind Mates? The vagrant huffily tells a roomful of be-suited FBI dudes that he wasn't really so interested in the car as he was the backpack, which he had hoped had clothing in it. Mahone asks where the car was parked and -- boom! We're back to Chuck, asking Michael the same question. And now everyone knows the car was parked on Hancock and 15th street. The vagrant adds that the car's not there now, since it was towed for...not paying the meter? (Dude, that is hard core. In my town, all they do is ticket you.) Chuck tells Michael that he'll owe $60 for the tow and another $24 for an overnight stay. Which sort of raises a whole lot of new questions like: did it take 24 hours for Michael and Linc to get to Nika's? Does that mean they are still within that first-72-hours thing, or did that 24 hours knock them out of the time frame? Exactly how far away is Nika's place from Oswego? And how did they get there? I should just not worry my pretty little head about these things.
Michael whips out a wad of cash and begins paying. Chuck gets a strangely Gollum-esque look on his face: We wants the Hamiltons, we do!. But he recovers and promises to bring the car around in about 15 minutes.
And it looks like Defiance, Ohio, now has a new claim to fame: Sucre is holed up there. He calls his friend Petey, who says, "Fernando Sucre?" "Is there another one?" Sucre angrily demands. "I hope not. But my boy Sucre would not be calling me on the phone and thereby making me an accessory to his dumb-ass escape," Petey replies. I feel a total kinship with Petey. Sucre apologizes nicely, but the strain is too much for the 5% of his brain not currently occupied with his faithless girlfriend, so it soon declares surrender for the remainder of the episode. And speaking of Maricruz, it looks like she's marrying Hector on Saturday. Today happens to be Thursday. Sucre tells Petey to get Maricruz to his place tonight, and Sucre will be in Bed-Stuy by nightfall. Petey's all, "But, wait --" and Sucre hangs up, because there are places to go and cars to steal.
On a side note, I love how they have the little Tweener theme music playing whenever someone's about to do something felonious.
And Chuck has finally found the crappy gray Acura. Michael's pleased as punch -- until he happens to notice that the back right window's been smashed and the backpack is missing. He takes a moment to have a quiet freak-out, then smacks the hood of the car. Trying to pull himself together, he stammers, "About the, ah, about the, ah, broken window..." and Chuck is all, "We have a sign --" Michael is so upset, he interrupts someone for the second time inside 15 minutes, saying, "I, I don't care about the broken window, Chuck. I had a backpack inside." "Not anymore, you don't," Chuck says flippantly. Then to add insult to injury, Chuck reminds him they still have some paperwork to square away.
Dr. Sara's about to leave the hospital. A nurse is snipping off her patient bracelet, and Dr. Sara comments, "You look familiar." The nurse says hesitantly, "You were an attending...when I first started here." Then they should both be surprised Dr. Sara remembered that face, since it's not like she didn't spend most of her time doped to the gills. Dr. Sara asks if the nurse can call her a cab ("Okay, you're a cab!" Heh. Sorry. I am ten.), and the nurse replies, "I don't think so." That would be because Dr. Sara is about to be arrested. After she's cuffed and they're Mirandizing her, Dr. Sara is pushed through the swinging doors and the camera pulls back to reveal...KELLERMAN! Oh, you magnificent bastard, you've returned to me! The clouds have parted, a host of angels has appeared, and what is that beautiful noise I hear? Is it the exalted choir singing amidst their sunset-hued skies? No. It is Kellerman, telling Madame President Evil that Dr. Sara's being taken in for questioning, and of course he'll keep an eye on her.
Back at the garage, Chuck picks up the phone and immediately gets an earful of "This is Agent Mahone, from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Who am I speaking with?" Why, with Chuck, of course. This is Mahone's cue to use Chuck's name approximately ten times in the two minutes. He asks, "Has anyone come by looking for a gray Accord with a busted rear window?" Cut to Chuck, turning to look at Michael. He gets very rattled, but answers, "Yes." Mahone wants to know when he was by. Chuck: "Uhhhh." Mahone gets snappy, asking, "Chuck, can you tell me when he was by?" and Chuck says tentatively, "Right now?" Michael's head swivels around on that and...we're at the commercial break.
God as my witness, I cannot figure out whether Celebrity Duets will be the most brilliant thing ever or just a really sick, sad joke.
Cut to Mahone excitedly telling a room full of people that Scofield's at Brewster's Towing. Much activity ensues. Meanwhile, Michael is giving Chuck the fisheye, and Chuck weakly explains that he's on the phone with his manager, hoping to get clearance to release the car. Mahone's tinny voice pipes out of the phone, "Chuck, you there? Hey, Chuck." That boy is going to go home tonight and tell everyone, "From now on, I want to be known as Charles." He turns away from Michael and whispers into the phone, "Yeeeah, that vehicle may not be here when you're here. You need to send somebody now." Mahone shouts into the phone, "Do! Not! Let! Him! Leave!" Chuck has the panicky look of someone who does not get paid enough to deal with this hogwash. As the car peels out, Chuck says with dull vindication into the phone, "Uh, he got the keys."
Cut to Mahone screaming, "Where the hell are those units?" He then sweeps everything off his desk in a fit of fury. Amid the detritus, we see a folder bearing a mug shot that looks an awful lot like an older Lincoln, and the name "Oscar Shales." Please, please do not tell me that Oscar is somehow linked to the Bros. Burrows/Scofield or The Company or anything like that. Agent Lang snaps Mahone out of his Shales-induced reverie by telling him they've traced C-Note to a payphone downtown.
Goody! With the Bellick/Geary development, Sucre's trip east. Dr. Sara's arrest, the Bros. Burrows/Scofield running around, and Mahone running after him, I don't think we have enough going on in this episode. Why not toss in another plotline? Anyway, C-Note is on the phone doing some pretty fast talking. That he's talking, and not holding the phone a foot away from his ear while his wife screams, "Iraq? IRAQ? Did you confuse the postal abbreviations for Iraq and Illinois?," is a testament to his smooth talking. Kacee asks tearfully, "Were you ever even in the military?" C-Note seems angry that she's questioning his sincerity. That is some unjustified pique, is what that is. He replies, "I served my country, and my country served me up...I wish I could lay this all out for you right here, right now, but just know, baby, I am sorry and I love you. When the time comes, I will explain everything." The tender love theme from Prison Break plays softly in the background. Kacee says, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn you in right now." C-Note replies, "Because the viewers adore hearing the dulcet tones of my ceaseless bitching, that's why." No, no, no. He actually argues that he has three good reasons: "Me, you, and that beautiful little girl of ours." He then continues with the fast talking and we get a long shot of Kacee looking...conflicted? Comatose? It's a little hard to discern. C-Note asks if anyone's tried to contact her about him, and Kacee says they haven't.
That would be because the FBI is currently tuned in to The Escaped And the Pissed-Off and everyone is simply riveted. C-Note says, "Listen...in the Rainbow Room..." and here, Mahone's eyebrows shoot up. Lang leans in and says, "It's a restaurant in New York City." C-Note continues, "Remember that beautiful spot where we took that picture â the one by to the window? I am going to be waiting in that spot one week from now, and that's all that I want in the world is for my two girls to be waiting there for me. Do you understand what I'm saying?" He's practically crying; Kacee's already dissolved. She doesn't know if she'll be there. C-Note says forcefully, "But you know me." "Do I?" she asks. "Yes!" he implores. She hangs up.
Heck, even Mahone and Lang look bummed at how that conversation ended. But not so bummed that they won't be alerting the Manhattan field office to the impending Rainbow Room rendezvous. Mahone adds, "Go have a chat with his wife, woman to woman. Ask her why she never once visited her husband in Fox River. Pretend you don't know the answer. Gradually keep tapping on her cracks, and she's going to break." Lang replies, "Yes, sir. I appreciate the assignment. I just want to say --" that he's kind of hot, in a sort of creepy and unsettling way? That he's kind of unsettling, period? We don't know, because Mahone snaps, "I don't want gratitude. I need leads, progress, answers. Anyone who can't deliver that -- don't even unpack." Then Mahone returns to his current No. 1 obsession, Michael.
Although Mahone's just ordered Michael's license plate to be put out across the local law enforcement wires, that will be a lot of wasted work, since Michael's busy taking off the license plates. Lincoln and his half-open shirt limp outside to see what's going on. Michael says worriedly, "Apparently, I wasn't the only one looking for this car." Linc shrugs and slides into the passenger seat: "Right. Let's get out of here." I can't decide if this is because he's still dopey from the liter of vodka he just imbibed, or if Linc is always going to be like, "Chased relentlessly by the Feds? Eh, whatever." Nika comes over to remind him that this was not part of the wedding vows. Michael says, "I'm sorry I had to involve you in this -- you know, any more than I already have." Nika wishes him good luck; Michael returns the sentiment. Well, nobody will ever accuse them of having a marriage based solely on infatuation. Michael adds, "So, umm, I'll see you." "I hope so," she responds. The boys hit the road. Michael promises they have one more stop to make before they head west toward the money. Linc asks, "What for?" and Michael replies, "Do you trust me?"
And we transition back to Fox River, where some poor C.O. is protesting that yes, he trusts Bellick and Geary, but he could get into trouble for this and -- and really, who cares? The whole point to this scene is to show that the Grumpy Old Men are leaning on Manche -- whom we all warmly recall as Captain Calories -- for information about the escape. After a few threats in re: prison rape, etc., we get the idea that Manche is about to tell Bellick about the loot in Utah.
Meanwhile, the Fibbies are now getting a tip about Sucre stealing a car in Defiance, Ohio. The agent with the glasses, Wheeler, looks at the little push pin Mahone's just pressed on the U.S. map and he says smugly, "Someone's going down today." Mahone just rolls his eyes and heads off.
As Sucre drives down the road, the vigorously-shaking head of the Virgin Mary bobblehead on the dashboard pricks his Catholic conscience. "I know, mami, I know," he says wearily. Also, heh. That car makes me think of my beloved Nana and Pop-Pop, whose sea foam (read: minty green) Buick Le Sabres always, always sported at least three plastic statues of saints superglued to the dash.
In a jail somewhere -- the first location NOT identified courtesy of a caption at the bottom -- Dr. Sara is napping with her head on the table. Her dad comes in and pulls down a chair; Dr. Sara sits up and smoothes back her hair. Dear ol' Governor Dad says, "I paid your bail." "You took your time," she replies. I really like how the writers have portrayed this relationship. It's not like we have Sainted Dr. Sara on one side and Evil Governor Dad on the other; he's frustrated, she's petulant, and they are both to blame for how things are between them. I like that. Anyway, after Dr. Sara cordially invites him to go to hell, Governor Dad says, "You keep this up, this may be the only place I can see you." Dr. Sara asks, "Do you even want to hear my side of things?' "Not particularly. Especially when I have no idea what side youâre on. But I do know this. Somebody is going to go down because of what happened at Fox River, and it would be in both our best interests if that someone was not you," Governor Dad replies. To make sure that happens, he suggests that Dr. Sara crafts the kind of testimony that hangs Warden Pope out to dry. Dr. Sara says she can't do that: "I did it, Dad. I left the door open. Me and no-one else." Her father is a little rocked by this; he immediately replies, "That's not true." Ah, but it is. Governor Dad stammers, more loudly and with more than a bit of denial and betrayal lacing his words, "That-that's not true." Then he pulls it together and leans down to bleakly say, "Just do what you're told. Otherwise there will be...consequences that will affect us both. Do you understand what I'm telling you?" That is probably the closest dear ol' ambitious Dad will ever get to admitting that yes, there is a big conspiracy afoot and now he's part of it. Without looking at his daughter, Governor Dad stands up and says, "In one week, I will be appointed the new Vice President of the United States. There will be a ceremony. You will be invited. You will not attend. Goodbye, Sara."
The boys are tooling along in the Acura, and Michael has to smack Lincoln's hand to keep him from monkeying with the radio. Linc comments, "Man, it's quiet out here. Inside, it was always noise, you know? Someone yelling, guards making rounds. I got used to it -- heh." Michael deadpans, "You're right. We should go back." Then the two of them crack up. Linc confirms that the tattoos contained not only the escape plan, but the post-escape logistics as well. Michael smiles as he says. "Breaking out was just the beginning. Now it gets more interesting." Lincoln wryly says, "'Cause me being strapped to an electric chair wasn't interesting enough?" Michael explains that on the inside, they had the element of surprise because nobody knew that they were planning anything, but now...we begin to get Mahone flashbacks as Michael says, "That guy, the one in the elevator? It's almost as if he e knows where weâre going, what weâre thinking. Itâs only a matter of time before he finds out about the money, Bolshoi Booze, our way into Mexico â everything." The brothers chew on that for a moment, then decide to swing into action. Michael opens his cell phone and begins talking into a voicemail box: "Hey, it's me, and I've got Linc. We're on our way there. If for some reason you can't make it, call me back at 917-454-" and it cuts off, thus dooming the poor people with those first six digits in their phone number weeks of crazed fans calling them in the off-chance that the producers set up a phone number with a super-secret series-related message on it.
Wheeler practically skips over to Mahone's desk with the news that Michael's formerly-dormant rented voice mail account now has a new message. Better still, it's from a mobile phone, and if Michael keeps his phone on, they'll be able to track him by location.
Meanwhile, that bobblehead is still hassling Sucre. And soon, so is The Man, in the form of a motorcycle cop. As the police officer pulls up to the window, Sucre reminds himself, "Don't do anything stupid, don't do anything stupid." Sucre, do anything stupid? What are the odds?
Commercials. I have to admit, I don't quite understand the whole point to air fresheners, even if they do look like lava lamps. Wouldn't it just be cheaper to keep the house clean?
When we get back from the break, Sucre's pulled over for the nice officer. The cop's all, "You know why I pulled you over today?" "Racial profiling?' Sucre replies. Kidding. He does the same thing most of us do: "Um. Speeding?" The cop wants license and registration, and Sucre's all, "I lost my license, but here is the registration." The cop is all, "So. This is your car...Mrs. Miller?" "Haven't you ever seen Transamerica? It's like that, only in reverse -- both geographical and gender, see?" Sucre replies. I WISH. He stammers out that Mrs. Miller is his wife. The cop heads back to his motorcycle to go discuss the issue of Mrs. Miller's expired license plates with HQ. The Virgin Mary continues her baleful head bobbing.
Meanwhile, things apparently didn't go to well for his cousin. Bellick chortles to Geary that Manche sang "like a fat, sweaty bird." You know, I don't think Bellick has a lot of room to talk there.
In yet another of this evening's plots, C-Note has decided to swing by his daughter's school during recess. That he's able to hug his daughter through the gate without attracting attention speaks well of the school's security. Also, it speaks well of the FBI's thoroughness -- what, was Mahone all, "So he talked about how much he loves his daughter? There's no way he'd try to see her?"
Anyway, C-Note is simply thrilled to see Dede. He exclaims, "Look how big you are!" The tender parental piano theme from Prison Break begins tinkling along. As Dede grabs a piece of chalk and begins drawing right to the beefy, shady-looking guy who has a look of hunted desperation on his face, C-Note makes sure Dede's okay. Then he says fervently, "Oh, God, it's so good to see you, baby girl. Do you understand what Daddy is going through right now?" Not really. C-Note decides to do a little damage control, reassuring Dede, "You know what, we are going to be together real soon, I promise you. But Daddy needs you to do him a favor. Take a message to Mommy, okay. I need you to tell her, if she understood what I told her, if she is willing to trust Daddy, then she needs to turn on the porch light at seven o'clock." Dede promises to remember that. And then, someone at the school finally gets around to noticing that Dede's a little too close to the gate for comfort. Dede stands up and says, "I love you, Daddy," and he says, "I love you too, sweet pea," and I instantly forgive C-Note approximately 65% of his complaining because, awww! He's a nice daddy! And because Rockmond Dunbar acted the hell out of that scene.
Michael and Linc continue to drive on, heading down Illinois rte. 38. The camera switches to a shot of Michael's tattoo, just in case we missed the earlier idea that maybe some clever part of Michael's plan would have been encoded in the close-up we saw earlier this episode. Michael resets the odometer so it's back at zero.
Meanwhile, in what has to be known as the "fun car" in FBI circles, a silent Wheeler and Mahone are busy tracking Michael via his cell phone signal. Mahone fields a call, and excitedly reports. "There's a patrol officer who thinks he has Fernando Sucre pulled over outside of Latrobe, Pennsylvania." ["Oh my God -- Latrobe, PA? Defiance, OH? Ladies and gentlemen, the glamorous Great Lakes region! If any of the cons end up in Batavia, NY, I'm not sure if I'll be able to take it." -- Joe R] Mahone says to the person on the other end, "Make it clear we want Sucre in custody, not in a body bag. Dead men can't tell us where their friends are." Inexplicably, the camera cuts to Wheeler. Who is, also inexplicably, looking piqued. Why? Because that statement undermines Wheeler's efforts to head up the Ouija and séance unit within the bureau?
Sucre watches the cop keep yammering, and it has finally hit him that he's not getting out of this one. The Virgin Mary bobbles merrily as a train pulls along the tracks right in front of Sucre's car. We switch to the cop assuring dispatch that this has got to be Sucre, and after that super-duper close-up, we watch the cop approach the car with his service pistol drawn just out of sight. He calls, "Mr. Miller? I'm going to have to ask you to place your arms outside the vehicle, please." That will not be happening, because unlike fellow escapee T-Bag, Mr. Miller's arms are still firmly attached to the rest of him, and that man has taken advantage of the train to put some distance between himself and the cop. The last shot we see is of Sucre running in a cornfield. Ominously, he's running toward a group of children who are muttering something about "He Who Walks Behind the Rows."
Meanwhile, in another plotline...Michael and Linc are driving, and the minute the odometer hits 11.8, we get another shot of the tattoo reminding us that the second number in the series is 12. Therefore, something's going to happen at the 12-mile mark. It does. Michael asks, "You ready?" Linc is. So then Michael spins out the car, right before it hits the rail on a bridge. Michael pops out, shakes a rail and confirms that it's good to go. He and Linc quickly detach it. Michael asks if Linc sees anyone, and Linc -- who is looking not too bad in his sunglasses -- shrugs, "Maybe he didn't get your message."
Ah, but Mahone did. They've just gotten to 38. And a beeping noise alerts Wheeler and Mahone to the fact that the brothers have stopped. Wheeler wonders, "What are they waiting on?" "Or who?" Mahone asks.
They're not really waiting so much as they are "positioning the car." Michael then opens the trunk, and from the area where the spare tire's usually stored, he brings out ... several bags of what appears to be well-preserved meat. Did he actually procure human cadavers somewhere?
And now is when Wheeler and Mahone begin to curse America's agrarian roots, as they're caught behind a tractor going slowly down the road. Wheeler leans on the horn, whining, "Come on." Mahone watches this for half a minute, then whips out a little red bubble light and snaps, "Go red." Right as Wheeler guides the SUV into oncoming traffic, Mahone shouts, "Now! Go red!" Who doesn't love a backseat driver during a stressful road situation? The guys finally manage to get around the tractor.
Michael's setting up the car so it will drive itself right off the bridge, and he turns on the radio. He then drops the cell phone into the car. And THEN, right in the middle of this tense, oh-gosh-will-it-all-work-and-will-the-FBI-get-there sequence...why, that is when we go into the flashback explaining all. A flashback to some point in the 20 minutes has Michael asking Linc, "How do you throw a hunter off the scent?" Linc replies, "Get rid of the prey." Michael explains that once he hits the scan button, they'll have about 30 seconds before it hits 103.7 FM. Linc asks if that's when the car will blow up. Michael says happily, "That's right." Of course he's happy -- who among us doesn't love to blow stuff up? Michael hits scan and they shift the gears so the car drives itself off the bridge.
Only one problem. It's that the radio is playing Deep Purple. Michael objects, not because he doesn't like the British rock, but because this means the radio somehow got broken during the plunge to the riverbed, so the plan to blow up the car and leave only hunks of meat and bone behind ... well, it's less likely to succeed. Correctly sensing that it's been too long since the viewers have seen him do something manly while his unbuttoned shirt billows provocatively, Linc volunteers to head down to the car and set the radio station. Michael does not even try the "You know, I did RUIN MY LIFE and GO TO PRISON" eye roll to dissuade him.
Meanwhile, Mahone and Wheeler get closer. Linc and his sweaty, bare chest check out the upside-down car. Michael watches apprehensively. His trepidation only grows when Linc calls out, "How many stations between 102.1 and 103.7?" Michael gnaws on his knuckles as he calls back, "Way out here? Just one. Probably." Lincoln punches the scan button as the final chorus of "Hush" begins winding down, and on the final "Na-na-na, na-na-na," the last note is replaced by the fiery bloom of a car blowing sky-high. Mahone sees the plume of flame from the road and chortles, "Ho ho ho."
And commercials! Whomever decided a gum commercial based around a botched bank robbery was a good idea for this show...has a sense of humor I can dig. Well done.
Meanwhile, Sucre has finally escaped the cornfields of Pennsylvania and is back in the urban gardens of Bed-Stuy, New York. He shows up at Petey's apartment and immediately asks where Maricruz is. Petey starts, "Look, man," and Sucre runs him over with, "You look. I've been up 72 hours. I've seen a man's hand get chopped off. I've been shot at, dug up a grave, stolen a car, jumped on a frickin' train. So please, just tell me where she is." Hey! He's officially outside Mahone's 72-hour window. It's all smooth sailing from here, right?
Or...no. Because Petey's pointing out that what he had been planning to tell Sucre, before Sucre hung up the phone, is that Maricruz and Hector are plighting their troth in Las Vegas. Sucre has to pause for a moment to take that one in. He finally asks, "The city?" Heh. But the poor guy! He was a lot closer while in Chicago. Then he runs off to "borrow" Petey's motorcycle, since that will look a lot more bad-ass in subsequent episodes than using his Prius. (No slam on the Prius; I live in the Bay Area and you can't swing a cat without hitting ten of the adorable little things. But it is not the kind of car one associates with macho road trips. Yet.) Petey blurts, "You look like hell!" Sucre pulls on a black skull cap, further cementing the bad-ass image. He says, "I've been through hell, papi. Now, I've just got to get to Vegas." Sucre then peels off.
And on another plot: it's Dr. Sara, introducing herself with a lot of blather about how she used to think she was an ex-addict but now, she's finally admitted she's an addict, so, "Hi, my name is Sara and I'm an addict." Everyone says hello. Then the person to speak is KELLERMAN! Yes! He says, all humble-and-approachable-like, "Hi, my name is Lance and I'm an addict. I guess a lot of what Sara just said resonates with me, and what I'm going through." And Dr. Sara watches him. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, don't even tell me that this season will be the one in which Kellerman woos Dr. Sara, only to cruelly betray her to Madame President Evil. Must she spend every season being manipulated by crafty men with ulterior motives?
And now we're back to the scene which opened the episode: accident clean-up central. The ME asks, again, who it was who just got cooked and why there's a faint, delicious whiff of cayenne pepper in the air. Mahone flashes back to the Oscar Shales file and we get a good, long look at the guy's mug shot. Back at the scene, Mahone absently, emptily, says, "Shales." The ME's all, "Come again?" and Mahone catches himself: "Scofield. I meant Scofield." He wanders off, and Wheeler comes in to provide some sotto voce back story: "Oscar Shales is this guy Mahone tracked for a while. Nasty little bottom feeder. You know the type. Heâs still in the wind." The ME's all, "You can't get 'em all." No, but you can get your sweet, sweet medication, which is what Mahone does right about now. He unscrews the pen and takes two pills.
From far away, Linc and Michael survey the carnage, then climb over some rocky ridge and head off into the episode. Michael says that they should have a pretty clear path to Utah at this point, adding, "They'll turn their attention to the other guys, which means we'll be off their radar for a while." Linc is gloomy about both the lab results and the transport to Mexico. When did he become such a buzz kill? Is it because that vodka-and-painkiller cocktail finally wore off?
Meanwhile, C-Note's surveilling his own house. He watches the porch, whispering, "Come on, baby." Inside, Kacee is checking out Dede, who is out like a light in her room. Well, out like a light in anywhere BUT her room -- the child's got a lamp burning, plus string of lights decorating her headboard. Is that even safe? C-Note's disembodied voice intones, "In the rainbow room, do you remember, that beautiful spot were we took that picture, the one by the window?" And we see that Dede's room has a rainbow, and in one area by a window, there's a picture of the little family. Hah! Lang is not going to be happy about this.
OR IS SHE? After all, she's waiting in the living room because, one presumes, she's about to continue her little chat. Kacee goes and turns on the porch light -- C-Note practically dissolves when he sees this -- and then turns back to Lang, who prods, "So, you said you had some information you wanted to tell me about your husband?" Kacee! Damn.
When it looks like there's more trust in the Michael/Nika union than the C-Note/Kacee one, that's sort of sad. And yet, Nika pulling up in the car indicates that she and Scofield are actually quite trusting of one another. Michael says, "It looks like I owe you another one." Staring at her brother-in-law's shiny, sunlit chest, Nika absently says it's okay. Michael says he'll send the $13,000 once he hits Mexico. Nika asks, "Are you meeting up with her? The doctor?" Michael says, "Sara?" He looks at Linc, who shoots him a glance like Who? Michael, have you even noticed your wife, who appears to like you? Michael punts that he doesn't know. The three of them bundle into the car, and Michael thanks Nika one more time.
As they pull away, Bellick and Geary watch them go. Bellick says with some satisfaction, "I knew the little whore would take us right to them." You know, he's awfully judge-y for a strip club regular. And we'll see how well he does with these guys week.