Previously, on Prison Break: Everyone got a Get Out of Jail Free card and we fast-forwarded four years so that we could learn that Michael is now occupied with trying to break out of that Great Prison in the Sky.
And now -- whoosh! We're back to the period immediately after exoneration. The episode opens with a beautiful shot of blue water, and then the camera swoops at a crazy angle until we're on a pier over the water and looking at Michael from behind as he looks down at the water. Linc -- who is looking as natty as Michael in a sport coat and actual non-jean pants -- comes over to ask, "You ready?" Michael turns to him with "I didn't think I'd be this nervous. Now or never." Linc turns to follow Michael and we see that, bless his heart, he's in a shirt that's unbuttoned to the navel. At least he's brought his semi-formal pecs for the occasion.
As Michael walks down the pier, Sucre joins him with an "All right, Papi, let's do this. She's over there." Sucre has a goatee now -- does this mean that the evil, alternate-version Sucre is the one who will be appearing in today's festivities? Goatees can mean nothing else.
The three men head over to an old man who has more hair on his head than the three of them combined, and it turns out he's a minister. Dr. Sara -- who is wearing a fabulous maxidress -- is waiting down by the water, holding a single calla lily. She hands it off to Lincoln, who holds it like it's about to explode. And after thirty seconds of generic "We are gathered here today ..." platitudes from the hired padre, Michael and Dr. Sara are married. Hurrah! They are cellmates in the prison of love! Sentenced to life.
The reception is a little more rocking, with lots of salsa music, in a beachside cafe. Sucre is shaking his groove thing, Michael and Linc are laughing, and then Michael's laughing as Sucre whirls Dr. Sara around on the beach. And then, the good times are interrupted by a phlanx of cop cars. A bunch of guys in suits come around with an arrest warrant. No sooner are the words "arrest warrant" spoken than both Michael and Linc begin shouting about how they were exonerated weeks ago. The federal agent who crashed this party is all, "It's not for you guys at all. It's for Sara Tancredi -- she's being charged with the murder of Christina [Scofield] Hampton."
I check the DVD playing time: Michael and Dr. Sara had approximately two minutes and thirty seconds of a great, complication-free life together before this latest development. They just cannot catch a break, can they?
And then Dr. Sara's whisked off, leaving Michael, Linc and Sucre gobsmacked. We get a brief "Prison Break" title card, and then we're off the beach and back at a condo with the boys, plus some attack lawyer Kellerman sent down for the occasion. The lawyer, however, is no good at actually getting U.S. law to be honored in this case. And then he passes on the bleak news that apparently, angry law enforcement types are setting up Dr. Sara, on account of them being all pissed off about the exonerations. I am now wondering why these folks didn't get the hell out of the U.S. immediately after getting those papers signed. Because, really. What in their prior experiences with the law-enforcement institutions across the U.S. inspired anything resembling trust in a fair system of justice?
So Dr. Sara's now in prison, and going by the fantastic hair and skin all these women have, it's pretty obvious she's been transferred to Foxy River. As it turns out, owing to a series of contrivances, the woman who has not yet been formally convicted of anything is thrown into genpop at a prison, instead of being held in a jail to await trial. As if this weren't already the worst honeymoon ever, Lori Petty's swung by to say hello. She's looking very ... well, I realize she's supposed to be a butch gang leader type, but honestly, she reminds me more of the girls in my grad school program who were doing their coursework in the rhetoric of gender construction and going to Disappear Fear concerts.
Anyway, a blonde guard comes over and is all, "Don't let them intimidate you. This jail/prison hybrid thing is B.S. Come on, the other one's practically empty. You can ride it out 'til your court date there." Dr. Sara trustingly follows the guard to an empty room. Oh, wait -- I spoke too soon. It's an empty office and it's a bunch of lady guards who are apparently pissed off over Bellick and his compadres losing their jobs. So they beat her up, in the name of solidarity for prison guards everywhere. It's not an episode of Prison Break if some woman isn't getting brutalized, is it?
And once Dr. Sara's back in her original bunk, along comes Lori Petty. I keep expecting her to namecheck Donna Haraway, but instead she observes, "Looks like that welcome wagon ran over your face." Oh, prison wit. You never fail to amuse with your piquant blend of observational humor and mordancy. We learn that Lori Petty will be playing the part of "Daddy" in the prison, she's got her eye on Dr. Sara, and Dr. Sara wants no part of Daddy's family. And also that Gretchen is watching everything with interest.
Over on the boys' side, T-Bag is still sucking up to General Von Baldy in the desperate attempt to get him to "spread around a little cash." Von Baldy's not terribly interested in a partnership; in fact, he has bigger fish to fry. Now that he's seen the news about Dr. Sara, he's got revenge on his mind. We see him meeting with his lawyer, saying, "I'm never going to get out of this prison alive. I know that. But I want to bring my enemy down with me. I want her dead." He passes over the clipping of Dr. Sara's arrest with "$100,000 dead" written on it. The lawyer, Daniels, points out, "It's going to require capital. Capital you no longer have." Von Baldy orders Daniels to raid the rainy-day fund and "get that to our friend in the sister cells across the compound." We then see a series of furtive handshake transactions until Gretchen's reading the clipping. I'd be more worried for Dr. Sara but a) we already know she's going to be okay, and b) I'm more interested in learning how Gretchen's managed to keep up her fabulous manicure in prison. That girl should supplement her paid-mercenary work by selling personal grooming secrets.
We then cut to the Foxy River mess hall, where everyone's getting their dinners. Dr. Sara looks for someplace to eat -- she's being watched unseen by some guard -- and when she goes to sit down to a mountain of a woman, Gretchen warns her off with, "Bad move. Last time someone touched [Skittelz], they got a cracked kneecap." And that is how Dr. Sara ends up sitting across from Gretchen. But she's not in the mood to talk to Gretchen. Gretchen, however, is undaunted, explaining Daddy's family structure while Dr. Sara retches. As it turns out, Dr. Sara's having throat contractions. She tells the guard she's got strychnine poisoning, but the short-haired guard blithely says, "That's that government cheese. You get used to it." Dr. Sara, whose throat is closing up, would beg to differ if she could still speak. She gasps out, "If I don't get to the hospital in the 15 minutes, I will die and my baby will die. Please." Daddy pops up to ask if the guard can't let her go see the doctor. That was apparently the magic word.
We cut to the prison doctor telling Dr. Sara, "We were able to administer the charcoal lavage in time. You and your baby are going to be okay." Then his bedside manners take a nosedive as he veers into a monologue about how dreadful Dr. Sara's labor and delivery experience will be, how the child will be taken away from her after 30 minutes, and how, if she'd like to escape the crippling and suicidal depression that usually overtakes women, Dr. Sara may as well just start thinking of herself as a surrogate for someone else's kid.
On the outside, Michael's already freaking over his honeymoon being cut short by the long arm of the law, and when his lawyer "Blue Phillips" calls to tell him that Dr. Sara was fed poisoned meatloaf, that does not help his mood.
So off he goes to meet with General Von Baldy. The general takes this development with his usual sangfroid: "If I had a list of all the people who might come visit me, your name would be somewhere at the bottom, right below Jesus Christ and Scooby Doo." Don't fool yourself, General. Scooby would never make it past security, not with his stoner BFF and their alleged "Scooby snacks." Michael snaps, "Someone tried to poison Sara today." The general feigns shock: "Mercy!" Michael continues, "Only you would be depraved enough to think that killing an innocent woman and her unborn child would bring you some measure of peace before your execution." The General is delighted to learn that Dr. Sara is knocked up, because it will just make his revenge upon Michael all the more savory: "Michael, if you were killed, your pain would last a moment. If Sara were killed, your pain would last the rest of your life."
We cut to Michael meeting with the lady warden, who is so supremely unconcerned about this whole scenario (and how it might look in the press) that her only answer is, "Prison life can be tough." Michael loses his cool, yelling, "I don't think you understand -- she's not safe here!" The lady warden doesn't care. Apparently, her job is simply to warehouse live bodies, not take any responsibility for their welfare. By the way, the state of Florida has a 63% recidivism rate according to the U.S. Department of Justice. (I'm now wondering if anyone on the staff had an unfortunate first-hand observation of the Florida penal system, which is why this version is populated by people who make Bellick look like Jimmy Carter. Michael's entreaties for Dr. Sara's safety are interrupted by his inconvenient nosebleed, and the lady warden reiterates what a clod she is.
Michael heads home and tells Lincoln and Sucre, "The general wants Sara dead and the warden's just going to let it happen." Lincoln says their lawyer will be a big help, a statement I find especially amusing given how much help his ex-girlfriend the lawyer wasn't when he was unjustly framed and sitting on death row. Michael concludes that he'll be breaking out Dr. Sara before anyone can kill her.
We then zip back to Chicago, where Lang is busy testifying in Mahone's reinstatement case: "In my 16 years at the Bureau, I've worked cases under 43 agents. Alexander Mahone is the smartest, bravest, most honorable man I've ever had the pleasure of serving with." We cut to IA director Sullins looking at Lang all, And would you like to throw your underwear and hotel key at Agent Mahone now, or can it wait until after I finish this hearing? Sullins is also not about to give Mahone a pass on the Oscar Shales murder. Lang blusters that it's just an allegation, but she's clearly fighting a losing battle here. Sullins and his fellow panelists vote; nobody wants Mahone back in the Bureau. Mahone rather twitchily calls the farce to a close with "Thank you for the invite, Richard. Always a pleasure." As he's walking out the door, Sullins baits the hook with "This ruling can be revisited if you are able to sufficiently demonstrate just how committed you are to a life of service." To make a long set-up short: if Mahone spies on Michael and company, thereby thwarting any prison breakout attempts and catching the boys mid-crime ... Why, Sullins would have no choice but to allow Mahone back into the Bureau! Mahone spits, "You're something else," but Sullins slides a badge across the table and Mahone is mesmerized. I am too, but it's mostly because I'm a huge Sons of Anarchy fan and it's so weird to see Tig as a law enforcement officer.
Down in Miami, Sucre bustles into the condo with the news that the FBI agent who arrested Dr. Sara is currently staking them out. Michael's all, "I'll understand if you want to am-scray, Sucre," and Sucre says, "After all the crap we've been through, I'm just going to leave you here and Sara in there?" He takes Michael's face in his hands. "You shut up and don't bring it up again," Sucre orders. Aww! We have a bit of exposition -- the prison's "practically escape-proof" and Michael's having serious headaches again. Sucre's like, "Can't we just parachute in to get her?" and while Lincoln's busy shouting, "Are you kidding?" Michael is all, I will file that idea away for the inevitable point in this story when it is the So-crazy-it-has-to-work option. Michael shuts everyone up with assignments for recon work.
Inside the prison, the short-haired guard grabs Dr. Sara by the elbow and orders her to come along. Dr. Sara protests that she's got a prenatal care appointment in 15 minutes, and the guard snaps, "It'll wait." Dr. Sara's escorted down a dark hall. She clearly expects to be beaten up again. What she doesn't expect is to see Daddy come down the hall. Dr. Sara gives her a wild-eyed look and says, "I don't know what you want, but I promise you, I will go down fighting." Daddy's insulted: "Damn, baby, I ain't gonna hurt you. Hell, I ain't even gonna touch you." Dr. Sara looks at the guard, who's all, Don't expect any help from me. I'm as corrupt as everyone else in here. Daddy explains, "See, I run the motor pool detail in here. And I was thinking, if you want to get yourself a little fresh air, and not have to worry about being stuck in the back, then you could come and work with me." Dr. Sara was clearly not expecting this.
On the mean streets of Miami, Michael takes the time to pull over his FBI tail for a chat. It is not friendly, and it more or less establishes that anyone remotely associated with law enforcement in Florida is a total dillweed.
Meanwhile, Lincoln and Sucre are faking an overheated car engine to take the measurements of the prison, snap pictures and generally do some recon so they can construct a primitive schematic. Michael calls to check up on their progress, then pops into the Miami-Dade Medical Clinic. (Don't hold your breath; this is all we see of his medical treatment for the entire movie.)
So Dr. Sara's joined the motor pool, which is set up like an all-ladies' theatre review about to break into "Greased Lightning." As she rolls out from under a car, Daddy crows, "Why, you just a natural! I bet you was a hell of a surgeon." The long-haired con comes over and says, "Handing out condoms to cons don't make you a surgeon --" Daddy cuts in with a "What the hell is wrong with you?" and boom! She and the missus are off to the races. Daddy wins with, "Morrill! Can we go one day without your mouth? One? Let it be today." It's wrong to be so entertained by Daddy, yet here I am. I would love to see a spin-off series in which she spends all her time scheming to irritate T-Bag, and vice-versa.
Daddy turns back to Dr. Sara with "I'm sorry. You got to forgive my old lady." As it turns out, the old lady is worried that Daddy's about to throw her over for Dr. Sara. Agatha makes a muttered comment about Morrill being nuts, and Daddy threatens to break out the belt, then turns back to Dr. Sara with "It's hard, running a family. It's important that you have one." Dr. Sara attempts to derail this conversational train by bringing up her husband, but Daddy points out, "You got a husband? Is he here? They let you bring him in here when you came? Yeah, I had a husband too. Eighteen years is a long time to wait. So you know, if this ain't for y
ou, that's cool." But it's not, really -- Dr. Sara's quick and silent rejection earns her the honor of slopping oil into the repository. While she's out there, she and Linc catch sight of each other.
Dr. Sara's about to head inside, but she's waylaid by Gretchen, courtesy of a hand to the throat. Gretchen would like to know what Lincoln's doing over by the fence. As Dr. Sara takes her sweet time in not answering, Daddy comes out and sees Dr. Sara pinned up against the wall and Gretchen hemming her in. Ooh, this is the kind of awkward social misunderstanding none of the etiquette books ever cover. Daddy decides that she's not getting into this -- it's an effective way to demonstrate what belonging to a family can do -- and Gretchen points out to Dr. Sara that she's alone, so she might as well answer. Fortunately, a guard comes along then, so Dr. Sara's spared from saying anything.
Over on the men's side, it's dinnertime. T-Bag has a brief conversation with a con: the con's wife is on the ladies' side of the prison, and she's willing to undercut the $100K bounty on Dr. Sara's head by a substantial amount. T-Bag promises to pass the offer along to Von Baldy. Alas, their mutual hostility gets in the way.
The badly beaten-up Dr. Sara knocks on Daddy's cell door and Daddy looks up from her conversation with the other ladies by asking with elaborate politesse, "To what do we owe the honor?" Dr. Sara says she changed her mind and she'd like to join the family. Agatha snarks that Daddy's changed her mind, and Daddy says, "Squirt's right. I recently have rolled up my welcome mat. Peace." Daddy has a delivery not unlike the late Mitch Hedburg's, which makes everything she says unintentionally comedic. Dr. Sara's not laughing, though. She quietly heads over to Daddy and pleads to be let into the family. Daddy orders everyone out and says, "I would love that. I would -- sit down -- I really would. But see, it's not as easy as just saying 'I do.'" Daddy takes off a snake pendant she is wearing and explains, "See, you're making a commitment to a family. It's something you gotta prove." And Dr. Sara's intent of proof? She has to agree to be branded with the now-heated-up snake. (Agatha's been busy with a butane lighter.) And we get to see it in gory detail, because it's not a Prison Break production unless some girl is getting physically brutalized at regular intervals.
Outside the prison, things have gotten weird in that Lincoln and Sucre are in a garage and they practically swoon upon seeing Mahone. There are hugs and everything. Mahone warns, "We gotta talk," and then we transition to the condo where Mahone explains, "They're watching you ... the whole department." Michael, who wasn't at HugFest '09 and is feeling a little left out, pissily says, "Sounds a lot like inside information, Alex. What'd you do, make a deal with the Feds?" Mahone rolls his eyes before replying, "They offered me my old job back if I came down here to spy on you. Now the Fed you're talking about, he'll be referred to throughout the recap as Agent Jerkface, because there's no point in wasting precious brain resources on remembering the name of a cardboard villain introduced solely for the purpose of making your already-tricky prison break even more difficult." Mahone then offers his help if anyone wants it.
The four men start looking at the surveillance photos and suchlike that they've got for Foxy River. Long story short: Michael's found a blind spot in the fence and so long as Dr. Sara can get herself out to the motor pool, the boys can get her. (The blind spot came into being courtesy of some fencing retrofits that the two security cameras have not adjusted for.) step: to get word to Dr. Sara telling her where to be. Sucre asks, "How? We get no visitation and no phone calls." Michael picks up a square piece of white paper.
In the scene, the lady warden is reading the letter. She reluctantly concludes that it's harmless and therefore, Dr. Sara can read it. Within seconds, the letter's tossed onto Dr. Sara's bunk. She reads, in Michael's voice-over: "Remember when I taught you about flowers? I wish I was there with you right now, to see you holding one in your hand." We flash back to a considerably fresher-looking Dr. Sara picking up the origami rose that Michael made for her birthday in season one. In the present, Dr. Sara quickly folds up her letter as an origami flower. The petals read "Tomorrow. P.M. Seven. Oil dump." Dr. Sara tries not to look so relieved that her brainiac escaped-con husband has figured out a way to spring her.
Speaking of the brainiac, he's just rolled back into the his condo, only to discover that Agent Jerkface is waiting there and looking over the schematics Michael so carelessly left out. Michael promptly asks Agent Jerkface if he has a warrant and Jerkface answers, "A warrant? I don't need one. My testimony will be that your brother let me in, and once inside, I saw all this evidence in plain sight." We cut to Lincoln looking confused, like FUNNY MAN, LINCOLN NOT LET YOU IN. Michael asks, "What evidence? Those pictures were taken of public property, that prison was paid for by taxpayers, so all you have evidence of is an exonerated citizen standing on a public road taking pictures of a public building. Last I checked, that wasn't a crime." Agent Jerkface floats a trial balloon: "What if I said I could get you on attempt just for having this stuff?" I'd say you'd have a jury that's pretty pissed that you're wasting the taxpayers' money on your paranoid revenge schemes, Jerkface. But this entire movie seems to be making the case that all a publicly-supported law enforcement body of any kind is good for is abusing its power. Throw off the shackles of authority! Prison Break says so!
Michael claims, "What if I told you this was all a peace offering? The warden won't let me see my wife. So I thought if I found a few lapses in security and pointed them out as a gesture of good faith, she might change her mind." Agent Jerkface is openly skeptical, but he's dealing with the master of impassivity, so he leaves empty-handed.
And now, it's shower time at Foxy River. Lots of ladies lathering luxuriously as the steam rises up in cliched billows. The whole scene is approximately two bare breasts away from being the opening sequence in a late-night Cinemax movie. But, since this DVD is still rated for television, the only salaciousness is Gretchen propositioning a short-haired guard: "As I understand it, you do favors for those who reciprocate." And she's offering to reciprocate. The guard looks intrigued.
Cut to Daddy's cell getting tossed by the guards while Daddy furiously protests, "This is bush league, boss!" When the short-haired guard finds a bindle of powder, Daddy hops up and down in fury, claiming she's been framed. Alas, the guards aren't buying what she's selling (how fortunate for her, then, that she's not trying to sell drugs), and so Daddy's going to be getting a little "Me Time" in SHU. Well, all parents do need a time-out from the ceaseless demands of their children, so it's like Gretchen's doing Daddy a favor, yes? She seems to think so; she's practically beaming from the rush of altruism. Or because she's scheming.
Back at the condo, Linc is getting mushy with Sofia on the phone (Awww!) and Michael is quietly enduring the hideous pain the tumor causes as it expands with lightning speed inside his skull. Apparently none of his compadres -- all of whom were aware of his prior brain bomb and its attendant surgery -- have noticed Michael grimacing and clutching his skull. But they're all ears when they learn that Sofia's making arrangements: once Michael breaks Dr. Sara out, they'll get on a boat (swim trunks and flippy-floppies optional) and then hie themselves hither to Central America. Michael's mobile rings and his lawyer, "Blue" (actual name on the screen), calls with good news: Michael will be allowed limited and supervised visitation with his wife. Michael sprints out the door to go visit his wife. Sucre calls out, "Try not to say anything that can be construed as incriminating!" and it's a measure of how much Michael likes him that he doesn't call back, "Don't worry! I learned how to avoid the pitfalls of obsessive romantic attachment from watching you for four seasons!"
Instead, he merely tells Sucre that if Dr. Sara understood his letter, she'd find a way to let him know. Sucre calls out to the departing Michael, "How? She gonna blink Morse code?" Good one, Sucre! I am glad the writers kept him around for comic relief.
We cut to Michael pacing in the visiting room. He's obviously been waiting a while; the lady warden is watching him from behind the two-way mirror. When we hear a lady announce that "visiting hours will be over in five minutes," it's made even more apparent that everyone working at Foxy River is a total bitch and absolutely devoted to making as many lives miserable as possible. Anyway, a few guards finally escort the handcuffed Dr. Sara into the visiting room, the music swells -- and Michael gets a good look at his wife's bruised face. He gasps, "Oh, my God!" a few times, then asks who did this. Dr. Sara immediately changes the subject, and Michael returns to familiar ground: feeling guilty. This time, he's guilty because "you're in here because of me." Well, technically, she is in prison because she has allegedly killed someone, and we did see her do it. She's just having a harrowing stay on account of the mayhem that she and Michael generated prior to the killing. Anyway, Michael moves to take her hands with "I miss you so much" and the short-haired guard immediately belts out, "No touching!" The newlyweds catch each other up: the good news is, Dr. Sara got Michael's letter; the bad news is, her prison protection's gone. The good news is, Michael's going to break her out. The bad news is, he's not going to be able to do so immediately because he hasn't yet mastered the black art of teleportation. Michael vows, "You were there for me. I will be there for you." Before we can all squeal in delight at this satisfying callback to earlier seasons, the lady warden decides that five minutes have elapsed, and that Dr. Sara has to go. We cut to Michael giving the warden a total Blue Steel.
Then his bad day gets worse as he walks outside and Agent Jerkface is there with a construction crew. Sadly for all involved whose names do not rhyme with "Waygent Werkface," the FBI agent's figured out that there was a blind spot on the fence and he's working to correct that little problem. We cut to Michael looking devastated.
Back at the condo, the guys are brainstorming ways for Dr. Sara to get out of the prison -- she can't climb over the fence, she can't very well dig under it -- and Michael suddenly begins muttering about parachutes and plans. You can imagine how well this goes over with the men, all of whom seem compelled to tell Michael how his crazy schemes won't work despite their ample, first-hand experience to the contrary. It must be tiresome to be Michael sometimes -- to have your elaborate plans barely coming to fruition while your friends and loved ones ceaselessly question your every decision. No wonder his head's about to explode. Whose wouldn't?
The other thing about to make Michael's head explode: They have to ask T-Bag for help. OF COURSE. T-Bag is savoring his conversation with Linc, saying, "When you and Michael sent me to prison, you did give me a piece of chewing gum. What kind of man would I be if I didn't quid your pro quo." Linc is not conversant in dead languages, so he sighs and asks T-Bag to set off the fire alarm in the prison at 7:30. Since the men's and women's facilities are right to each other, the actions at one will presumably affect the other. T-Bag quickly realizes Michael's breaking Dr. Sara out, and Lincoln tells him, "Von Baldy's put a hit on her. It's our one shot of keeping her alive." Then T-Bag and Lincoln haggle over how much this favor will cost -- T-Bag disdains $5000 as way too low, while I'm thinking that $5000 is a nice price for pulling a lever on an alarm. He tells Lincoln that they can come up with the six figures T-Bag would require for his services by stealing it from General Von Baldy's toady Daniels. Alas, T-Bag doesn't even give Lincoln as many details as I just gave you, so Linc's all, "How in the hell am I supposed to figure out who this is?" T-Bag doesn't seem to care, which is an odd attitude to take for someone who wants a six-figure payout. Were it me looking at a big chunk in the bank for pulling a fire alarm, I believe I'd be finding ways to provide Linc with freakin' Google Maps directions to Daniels' house.
Over at Foxy River, Dr. Sara's walking through the yard, trying not to get stabbed or beaten up, when Gretchen waylays her. Gretchen has deduced that Michael's breaking Dr. Sara out, and she wants in on that action. She waves around the folded-up letter, and Dr. Sara has a moment of pure panic. Gretchen soothes her with, "Relax. Von Baldy sent me to kill you, but after what he's put me through, I'm done taking orders from him." Dr. Sara snaps, "You were sitting to me in the mess when I was poisoned --" and Gretchen delivers a reality check with "Do you think you would have lasted this long if I wanted you dead?" She has a point. But Dr. Sara is not getting it: "I want you dead. You're still alive." Gretchen does not bother to point out that the difference between Dr. Sara and herself is that she is a trained killer and Dr. Sara an amateur one. Instead, she points out that Dr. Sara's not really equipped to survive on her own, and "I'm coming with you, or nobody's going."
Meanwhile, Mahone's meeting with Agent Jerkface. We learn that Mahone tipped off Jerkface on the security cameras; we also deduce that Mahone's all, "Now that THAT is settled, you can get back to the kind of bumbling hijinks best suited to a Carl Hiassen story, and I can get me a badge ..." with Jerkface. Alas, Jerkface is convinced that so long as Michael's concerned for Dr. Sara, he'll try to break her out of prison. That moving Dr. Sara to safer, less brtual facilities might mitigate the problem is apparently too outside-the-box for Agent Jerkface. The taxpayers in the Prison Break America would be so thrilled to know that their money supports these Javert-like exercises in idiocy.
We then cut to Michael setting up a video camera to record. His opening lines: "Well, if you're watching this, I'm glad because that means you're safe ..."
Some time later, Sucre's made a coffee run, and as he comes back to the condo with Linc, he's questioning Michael's break-out plans: "I know he's going to jump out of a plane. The question is, can he land?" Lincoln concedes, "Not without getting caught." Sucre continues to ask pointed questions about all the flaws in this place (getting Dr. Sara out of the cellblock, relying on T-Bag for anything beyond a labored metaphor and an unhelpful quip) and Linc is rightfully alarmed that Sucre has somehow become the voice of reason in the bunch. Michael rolls by and Linc's like, "We need to rethink this whole thing." "Look at you trying to think! It's so cute!" Michael more or less tells him. Michael reiterates his plans: get into the yard, escape through the chapel where the subterranean exit is. Mahone comes in right then and Michael snaps, "Where have you been?" Mahone casually replies, "What did I miss?" Michael just asks him to find a plane and a pilot. Mahone shrugs. Who knows? Maybe he's got a hefty aviation retainer he's been paying out against this very eventuality. Meanwhile, Linc and Sucre are on the get-T-Bag's-money detail. Both Linc and Sucre look skeptical and Michael adds, "Do it by 7 p.m. tonight, or Sara's going to die in there." THAT gets everyone's attention. Goooooo, team!
Meanwhile, General Von Baldy is trying to confirm with Daniels that he's made arrangements regarding Dr. Sara. Daniels confirms that he's got the cash, but "the woman we hired is having trouble getting close to Dr. Tancredi." General Von Baldy snaps, "Then hire someone else. Call it open season. Put a bounty on her head. I don't care how you do it, I want Sara Tancredi dead by the end of the day."
Speaking of whom, Dr. Sara's managed to find a book to read. She's chillaxing until open-cell time. Once the cells open up, Dr. Sara's new family comes over and asks her to play cards. Dr. Sara's all, "Oh, I'm not really a card-player" until the Mommy in this family points out, "You should. With Daddy gone, you're going to need your backup. Hell, we all do." The rest of the family nods agreement. Dr. Sara claims she's got a prenatal appointment and walks off. Mommy calls, "It's cool." After Dr. Sara thanks her, she adds, "Not too smart for a girl with a bounty on her head." That gets Dr. Sara's attention. And Gretchen's. Just then, the short-haired guard tells Dr. Sara she's got a visitor. As she walks off, Gretchen drawls, "Say hello to your husband for me."
When she heads into the room, Michael puts on one hell of a show. Fidgeting and sighing, he starts off, "Look, um, I know you don't have any control over what's happened here, but things aren't working out." Dr. Sara: "Okay." Michael continues, "I've been trying to find a way to do this, but from where we stand right now, there's only one option." Dr. Sara cautiously asks, "Do you need more time to think?" We see the lady warden and Agent Jerkface watching the conversation behind a two-way mirror as Michael tells her, "It's not that. I've made up my mind. There's really nothing you can do about that, except pray for us tonight." Dr. Sara's all, "Pray for us?" Michael tells her, "Pray for us to be together. Maybe I'll do the same." Behind the mirror, Agent Jerkface and the lady warden exchange looks like I was not informed Michael Scofield subscribed to the theory of a higher power than his own brain.
Cut to Lincoln trying to get information about Daniels from T-Bag. This scene consists of your usual tiresome badinage between two characters who thoroughly hate one another, so ... whatever.
Back at the condo, Michael's busy trying to code key cards, create little sparky battery things, and handle his throbbing tumor headache when Mahone shares the news that he's lined up a pilot. Oh, small world -- it's someone he busted during the drug wars in the 1980s. (Funny, I had thought Mahone was in the military through the early 1990s based on a comment someone made in season two about his service in the Gulf War, but why should I bother remembering these details when nobody associated with the show does?) Michael comments, "You must have jumped out of a few planes ..." "Several," Mahone says. "Some for sport, some for necessity. It's a big difference, Michael. It's not easy hitting the X, especially at night." Michael is in no mood to discuss it, so Mahone attempts to change the subject to Michael's new gadgets and doodads. Michael explains, "It's a test. That prison was built in the mid-Eighties, so the exit in the administration building is probably protected by an electronic coded lock modified by a security card. Those locks don't have power protection, which means you can override them." Mahone asks why Michael can't just go to the building's generator and blow it out, and Michael explains a 1200-volt power surge would only set off other alarms. "Not to mention maybe kill you," Mahone adds. Michael looks at him all Who told you? I'll deny everything! before weakly saying, "That's why we have to find another way." Mahone only whispers, "Yeah." He then heads outside to take a call from Agent Jerkface. "Call me when he's in the process of committing a crime. I'm not going to let him walk away from me like he did you. He's going down if I have to shoot him in the back." Then Agent Jerkface kicks a puppy, pushes a stroller full of infants down a steep set of stairs and stomps all over a delicate endangered species of orchid. Well, he might as well do so. All that he's missing is a moustache he can twirl and a black cape that swirls dramatically when he rounds corners or announces his plans for world domination.
And now, a Women Inmates In The Shower Scene. Dr. Sara is not among them. She's only hanging out in the general shower area. Then a blonde inmate pays off the guard, everyone -- including Dr. Sara's "family" -- quietly shuffles out, and Dr. Sara finally gets that being left alone in the general shower area does not mean that she's going to be getting some private time to relax and unwind. What she is getting instead is an attempted murder from Agatha. And Agatha, bless her, attempts, but she's a rotten knifeswoman, so Dr. Sara manages to elude her long enough for Gretchen to come out swinging. Gretchen then beats the tar out of Agatha and kills her by driving her head into one of the towel hooks that's screwed into the wall. Gretchen then sidles over to Dr. Sara and asks, "Are we friends now?" So long as Gretchen promises not to do that to her, Dr. Sara should say yes. But that's just my opinion. The guards come back in, legitimately shocked that a) an inmate is dead, and b) said inmate's name is not Sara Tancredi.
We then cut to one of the guards telling Daddy down in the SHU that Agatha Warren is dead. Daddy demands, "Who did that?" (Lori Petty's delivery, the way she mingles the grief and fury in her ridiculous accent, is wonderful.) The guard tells Daddy, "No-one's talking, but I hear it's those fish, Morgan and Tancredi." She walks off, leaving Daddy to howl, "No! No!"
Michael and Mahone meet the pilot, who also expresses his doubts about Michael's plan to jump out of a moving plan onto a very tiny target in the dark. Since Michael's got a long history of ignoring the worries of lesser mortals, he's got plenty of practice in exuding waves of cold indifference now. Mahone looks at the pilot all, "Now you know why I wear long sleeves, even in Florida." Then Mahone comes over and tries to dissuade Michael from the plan. Michael points out, "It's not just Sara's life at risk." That hits Mahone, Michael adds, "I know you [understand]. That's why I also know I can ask for your help." Mahone looks only a little guilty before asking, "Yeah. What do you need?" Michael needs this: "If I don't make it, I want you to make sure Sara and my brother get out of the country alive. I need to know they'll be okay. And I'll trust you'll do everything you can to make that happen." Michael hands over a DVD and a piece of paper to Mahone with "I trust you, Alex. Remember that." He walks off, leaving Mahone to marinate in guilt.
We then head to the men's prison, where T-Bag is walking a note (that he wrote) over to General Von Baldy. He lies, "It came over via messenger from the ladies' side. [It reads] 'My man on the outside wants to know who to call for the birthday present.' Whose birthday is it?" General Von Baldy writes a number and orders T-Bag to see that the number gets back to the same place.
Cut to T-Bag on the phone with Linc. He's just handed over the number and now he demands, "I want that money wired to the account number specified. No wire, no fire. You boys do me wrong, I have no qualms about singing loud and clear -- you understand?" Lincoln grunts noncommittally.
Across the room, Sucre's just finished making travel arrangements with Sofia (she'll meet them in the Dominican Republic, then they'll fly to Costa Rica). Linc's fine with that; he and Sucre are off to rob Daniels, then wire the ill-gotten Von Baldy stash to Central America. Michael announces that they're ready, and bumps knuckles with Sucre to thank him for everything. Perhaps I'm speaking out of turn here, but knuckle-bumping seems a tad reserved for the kind of relationship these two have.
Inside the prison, the guards are busy un-making everyone's beds and muttering about the situational comedy of being in a prison full of women with nary a gossip in sight. Neither Gretchen nor Sara seem particularly disturbed by Agatha's getting the hook. Instead, Gretchen shows Dr. Sara this grotty little pendant she made in wood shop -- a heart with the word "Emily" burnt into it. Need I point out that the "i" in "Emily" is dotted with a heart? We should, I suppose be grateful that Gretchen is motivated to help Dr. Sara because she so hopes to escape and give Emily the pendant on her birthday. I personally am grateful that the tacky little thing is wood and therefore will eventually rot and return to the soil. Anyway, Dr. Sara realizes that her new "family" is going to go Manson Family on her if she doesn't partner up with Gretchen, so she tells the other woman that they need to get to the chapel. This escape just got a lot more interesting; I like to imagine that we didn't see Gretchen in the flash-forward scenes because she's too busy off being a badass.
Sucre, dressed in a painters' overalls, manages to distract Daniels with his cock-and-bull story about being from American Paint Company long enough to gain entry to the house. This sends Daniels and his briefcase full of Von Baldy's cash into the garage and an SUV. Unfortunately for Daniels, Linc is there. He cocks a gun and orders, "Get out." I am so disappointed that he has yet to break out the LINCOLN SMASH. This complete-sentences-speaking, tool-using primate is practically a stranger.
We cut to Mahone driving Michael to the parachute store (or close enough, for our purposes). Michael's left a DVD on the seat, and Mahone looks all haunted. (Somewhere, Lang looks up from he work, absolutely haunted by the prospect of this. All in good time, lady.) So he calls Michael back over and tells him, "There's a better way."
Back inside the prison, the guards are busy summoning everyone to the mess hall. Gretchen wanders over to Dr. Sara and asks, "Got any ideas?" Dr. Sara's first idea to have Gretchen hang out with her until she can think of something else. Gretchen tells her sotto voce to think of something fast, because they've got company. Daddy's out of the SHU.
We transition to the cafeteria, and as Gretchen grabs her tray, she tells Dr. Sara, "I hope you're ready for a fight, princess. This one's to the death." As they sit, Dr. Sara asks Gretchen if she can overpower the short-haired guard. Sure, Gretchen can. But she advises Dr. Sara to watch out for Daddy and her family. Daddy is displaying shocking table manners, on account of sitting on top of the table. The badass effect is slightly mitigated by the fact that she's attempting to look menacing while holding a Sprite. One doesn't respect a decaffeinated prison queenpin quite so much.
Over in the men's prison, General Von Baldy's on the payphone asking Daniels, "I got the message about the birthday present. Was the gift earned?" Daniels is sporting a slash along one cheek and a cold compress along his neck, thereby implying an off-camera LINCOLN SMASH. I feel so cheated. And in addition to being robbed by two menacing bald guys, Daniels now has to explain to a third that he's spouting nonsense. "The birthday present? Two guys showed up at my house, they took the money and they beat the crap out of me," Daniels snaps. General Von Baldy slams down the phone in anger. T-Bag comes over, looking excessively pleased with himself, and oozes, "Howdy, General. I just thought I'd let you know I came into some green. My personal preference is two Zagnut bars and a copy of The Times. So I'll see you in the A.M.?" General Von Baldy promptly casts aspersions upon T-Bag's parenthood, then invites him to take the Virgil-guided tour of the netherworld. T-Bag says, "Careful I don't get there first, lest I become king of that prison too." That's our T-Bag, with his "'Tis better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven" philosophy.
Then we zip over to an airstrip, where the pilot is busy telling Michael and Mahone, "From takeoff to prison is going to come up real fast, so whatever you gottta do, do it now." But first, Michael has to have a little talk with the suddenly-appeared Lincoln. We find out Sucre's off to handle the money ("That means T-Bag's set," Michael says happily) and then Linc asks, "You sure [that plane's] going to hold you up?" "It'll be fine," Michael replies breezily. Linc asks how Michael is, and Michael dryly points out, "It's not my first time inside a prison. Hopefully, it'll be my last." "Think about all the amazing stories you're going to be able to tell your kid," Linc says. Michael turns and looks at him sadly, and Linc adds, "You're going to be the type of father ours never was." Someone who's not married to a complete nutter and on the payroll of a massive worldwide conspiracy? Way to set the bar low, Linc. No, no, no -- wait for it ... "Someone to look up to," Linc concludes. Michael doesn't reply with words -- he merely pounds his heart and spins off, unable to speak. This should be a big clue that Scofield's got something up his (untattooed) sleeves. Then again, we are talking about Lincoln.
Meanwhile, Mahone's busy telling his little FBI nemesis that Michael's got an airplane and he's going to parachute into the prison yard. This sounds so incredible that Mahone has to repeat it -- "I swear to God, he's going to be over prison airspace at 7 p.m." -- but Agent Jerkface runs with it. Moreover, he calls the lady warden and warns her.
Down in the mess, Dr. Sara decides now's the time to head over and have a chat with Daddy. She quickly says, "What happened with Agatha is not what you think happened with Agatha. I need to make this right with you." Daddy's all ears. Meanwhile, Gretchen heads over and sweet-talks the guard, who is, as it turns out, not quite receptive to the idea of trading in a horizontal currency. We cut back to Dr. Sara who's instituted the "she started it first!" defense. Daddy's unimpressed: "I practically raised Agatha, and she wasn't no killer." Daddy has a point; if Agatha had any skills, she'd have managed to do the job. Daddy also has a point attached to the knife that somehow eluded detection both during cell-tossing and her time in the SHU. So Dr. Sara concedes that perhaps Agatha's not a killer, clarifying with, "She's just a greedy little bitch who bit off more than she could chew." WHAM! Daddy's gone lunging for Dr. Sara, and Dr. Sara's executed a nice little move that sends Daddy straight into Skittelz. This causes Daddy to levitate up and back about four feet and she frantically begins telling Skittelz, "We're cool, we're cool, we're cool, wuh-wuh-whoa!" Skittelz rises -- it takes a while for an eight-foot wall of psychosis to unfold itself from a dinner table -- and grabs Daddy by the throat. This distracts the guard from going to get Dr. Sara, and Gretchen provides more distraction courtesy of a juicy beatdown. Dr. Sara shakes loose of her own attractive blonde slapfight partner, and grabs the guard's keys. She and Gretchen are leaving the lunchroom riot early.
Outside, approximately a thousand SUVs are clustered around the prison, and Agent Jerkface has to bully his way into the prison. He orders the prison lights killed -- in theory, to make it harder for anyone to see where they're going -- and as the plane buzzes overhead and disgorges a figure with a parachute, we have a tense sequence wherein Agent Jerkface orders everyone to hold their fire until the figure's on the ground. Then, it's perforated courtesy of two dozen semiautomatics. Agent Jerkface practically dances over to the carnage ... and sees that it's a mannequin. He asks the suddenly very pertinent question, "Where the hell is Scofield?" It is not followed by the equally pertinent question, "And what the deuce did Mahone know?"
It turns out Scofield is actually inside already; he had come in under Jerkface's SUV when Jerkface was stopped at the security blockade. Sneaky, sneaky Scofield!
The lady-prison guards have managed to subdue the lady-prison riot, but they are startlingly incompetent at finding Gretchen and Sara in the kitchen. So the two are free to escape via air duct. Since Gretchen's been stabbed in the leg, she can't make it up to the air duct on her own, and she whispers snippishly, "I'm not going to make it on my own. Either leave me or don't, Sara, but make up your own damn mind." Dr. Sara extends a hand to Gretchen, and we see them running across the yard to the chapel. It is helpfully labeled "Protestant Chapel," presumably because the Protestant and Catholic gangs will happily use the 95 Theses as an excuse to throw down lo these 492 years later.
The women have almost made it into the chapel when Gretchen gets sighted by two guards. Dr. Sara hides and Gretchen immediately plays Unhinged. The guard asks, "Are you here alone? Is there anyone else here?" And Gretchen gives him a delightfully addled answer, "Yes. God. He's always here. I was worried about my little girl on the outside. So I came to pray, to see if someone would watch over her." On a totally superficial look: when she's not wearing the war paint, Gretchen looks about twelve. I would kill for skin like Gretchen's. Maybe the killing is her secret. Hmmm ...)
We cut to Dr. Sara looking frankly incredulous, then the guards go to see if indeed, Gretchen had contrived an illicit meeting with her lord and savior. Sadly, the producers fail to seize the opportunity to have the guards open the door and immediately become bathed in radiant golden light. Instead, they get called away at exactly the most convenient moment. 'Tis a miracle indeed! At least for Dr. Sara.
And then miracle number two! Michael's at the door. But there's no time for sappy greetings.
We cut to Mahone and Linc waiting in an SUV at the rendezvous point. Mahone wonders if Sucre made the drop on time. Let me simultaneously eliminate that dramatic tension and get through a pointless scene by telling you all: No, he did not. This scene leads into T-Bag at a pay phone, dialing in to check on his presumably-very-full account and discovering that ... there is no money in it. This is what prompts T-Bag to become a snitch. O HOW PREDICTABLE.
As Michael and Dr. Sara attempt to access a set of locked doors, Michael explains that "on the other side is an escape hatch for the administrators, in case of a riot." NOW Dr. Sara remembers that she used to spend time in a prison, and she nervously says, "If this is the same system they used to have in Fox River, that door can only be opened remotely from Central Control." Michael whips out two duct-taped canisters and says blithely, "That's why we had to ask for help from T-Bag." Dr. Sara looks skeptical, as well she should.
Cut to T-Bag being frog-marched into the lady-warden's office so he can tell her, "Michael Scofield's about to stage a prison break, and I know exactly how he's going to do it." T-Bag can barely contain his grin at the prospect of scotching Michael's latest plans, which is too bad. You'd think his innate smarts plus four seasons' worth of being screwed over by Michael at every turn times the flash-forward to him being back at Fox River would have taught him something. But alas, no. T-Bag happily shares that he was to light a fire in his cell at a designated time "and the rest will just take care of itself." The law enforcement types exposit that a fire alarm would require a mandatory prison evacuation, and T-Bag crows, "Hell, he wasn't going to break her out, he was going to get you to escort her out!" The three law enforcement types are unamused at his Oscar Wildean observations on the ironies of life. T-Bag's promptly marched out of the warden's office again and the FBI agent muses that Michael works best when surrounded by noise and chaos, so "deactivate the smoke-detection system, and while you're at it, kill the horn." Because that's totally not a recipe for the lady-prison equivalent of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory massacre and subsequent PR nightmare.
Back to Michael and Dr. Sara, who are waiting for the klaxons to stop, as Michael explains, "For the right price, T-Bag would shut off the fire alarms." Haaaa -- Michael finally figured out how to use T-Bag's nature against himself. Maybe his lethal tumor is making him smarter by forcing any residual idiocy out with every nasal gusher. Anyway, Scofield dons safety goggles and lights up a blowtorch. I love that he brings safety equipment to this breakout. It must seem like such a luxury compared to his other escapes. And then Michael proceeds to use the blowtorch on the door, brushing aside Dr. Sara's half-formed objections to the smoke detectors with "There's only one thing you can count on with T-Bag: he's a rat." Yep -- tumor's made him smarter. Within seconds, they're inside the room that leads to the escape hatch. Michael bars the door and directs Dr. Sara down into the bowels of the prison. You know, I realize my knowledge of prison architecture is limited, but Florida is one of those states where there's no basements anywhere because the entire state is basically floating on top of the Atlantic. How are Michael and Dr. Sara not doing an Esther Williams number through this subterranean chamber? Why do I even bother wondering these things -- it's not like it's the slavish adherence to Floridian municipal architecture makes or breaks the suspension of disbelief with this show.
ANYWAY. Michael leads Dr. Sara over to a door and explains that on the other side of the door is a hundred yards of tunnel. Waiting at the end of said tunnel will be Lincoln. "And after that, there's a boat bound for white sand and blue water," he smiles. Michael fishes around for some doodad and explains, "I'll power-surge the system. It'll override the signal for a few seconds -- long enough for you to open the hatch. So get ready." Dr. Sara assumes a sprinting position at the door. Michael swipes his card through with "Three, two, one" ... and nothing happens. He tries again. Cut to him wearing an expression that can be translated as OF COURSE nothing can go right with this escape. Why should I get a break now?
Michael says, "I was afraid this might happen," and Dr. Sara shows a cool head with, "It's okay. It's all right. We're going to keep moving and we're going to find another way out of here." Michael looks very sad as he tells Dr. Sara, "I know what I have to do."
Meanwhile, Agent Jerkface goes sprinting into the chapel with his gun drawn and, upon finding it empty, decides he'll show that darn invisible Holy Spirit a thing or two by bringing in a few police units as backup.
Linc, Sucre and Mahone are getting all twitchy outside the prison. On the inside, Michael is explaining to Dr. Sara that "the battery isn't generating enough power. We'll have to blow the system for the whole building." We cut to Dr. Sara looking at Michael with a great deal of trepidation. He flings open the doors to the main fuse box and explains what he's going to do: "This is the main fuse. If I yank that, everything will go dark for a second. If I reconnect these two cables ..." He trails off, probably because he's searching for a tactful way to say "I will be providing a first-hand demonstration of why water makes such an excellent conductor for electricity. You did know human beings are basically big bags of talking water, right?" Michael finds that tactful way: when he reconnects those two cables, "There'll be a lot of noise. Every lightbulb in this place is going to blow. And when that happens, you need to open that hatch. Then I want you to start running."
Dr. Sara nods, then asks, "What about you?" Michael gives her an agonized look. Dr. Sara knows that face and prods, "Michael?" He comes over and smoothes down her hair as he explains, "Someone has to stay here, and someone has to open the hatch. And that someone's got to be you." Dr. Sara's still not getting it: "So I'll leave it open for you." Michael holds her and starts to explain: "This is the only way --"
This tender moment is interrupted by Agent Jerkface and his backup band of snipers trying to yank on the door some 100 feet above them. So let's ditch that moodkiller and return to the bummer in progress. Dr. Sara insists, "I'm not leaving unless you're coming with me." Michael places his hand somewhere around Dr. Sara's left kidney and says, "I am coming with you." Dr. Sara insists, around a sob, "I love you." And this gets Michael, who crumples for a moment with, "God, I love you too." Then there is a long and passionate kiss, interrupted by the banging on the door.
The poignant episode music (tons of strings, a wordless alto ululation approximately two steps removed from a Dead Can Dance demo track) kicks in, and Michael bids Dr. Sara to go. He watches her leave, fighting back tears, and then he turns back to the fuse box with his usual post-decision resolve. One of my favorite Michael moments of this whole series was in season one, episode 13, when we flash back to him just about to enter the bank and taking a moment to grieve all that he was leaving behind before steeling himself to move forward; this moment is so similar, it's uncanny. (Nice job, Wentworth Miller!)
Michael takes a deep breath and yanks out the first plug. The prison is plunged into darkness. Then we see him pull out the other two cords, producing a shower of sparks. We flash to Dr. Sara waiting for a telltale click that indicates the door is open. Michael holds the two cables, one in each hand, and prepares to experience life as part of a closed circuit. Dr. Sara turns to look toward Michael, then checks herself, focusing only on the door. We see the resolve on Michael's face as he brings the two sparking cables closer together, we see Dr. Sara's dread-filled expression, there's one last look at Michael --
Then it all goes dark with a hum. The thing we see is Dr. Sara's face illuminated by a shower of sparks, and the door opens. She spares a moment to sob in the general direction of the sparks, then runs, closing the door behind her. Within seconds, she's outside. Linc, Mahone and Sucre are all waiting. All of them look at her, silently inquiring as to where Michael is. None of them seem able to comprehend an escape plan that doesn't end with Michael strolling out with a smile upon his face. Linc finally asks where Michael is, and he gets increasingly panicky as he heads toward the gate Dr. Sara just ran out of. Mahone comes over and gently repeats, "He's not coming back." Lincoln insists, "He'll be here." Mahone says, "He's gone, Linc. Linc -- we gotta go. We gotta go." We all get one last look at the dingy brown door standing between the remains of Team Escarpara and Michael's remainsa. The stunned Widow Scofield reels as she tries to get into the SUV, and the car that drives off is very, very quiet.
Time elapses and the sun rises on T-Bag shrieking as he's led into solitary. As two guards haul him down the hall, T-Bag howls, "Why am I being punished? I'm the guy who blew the whistle!" A guard exposits, "You aided and abetted an escape, Mr. Bagwell. As far as the authorities are concerned, you're an accomplice." He slams the door and our last sight is of T-Bag standing in front of the grill in his door, screaming, "Scofield! Scofield! Scoooooooofield!" (And up at the Pearly Gates, Michael is asking St. Peter, "Do you hear something?" "Me? What? No," says St. Peter. "Now, if you promise not to blow the locks on the gates you see behind me, I think we can give you conditional entrance ...")
Mahone, Linc, Sucre and Dr. Sara are still in the SUV, and still in shock over how the escape went down. Mahone finally hands over a piece of paper to Dr. Sara with "Michael asked me to give you this if he didn't make it out. He said it would help you understand why he did what he did." Dr. Sara briefly scans the paper, then hands it over to Linc with "It's his bloodwork." And Linc, with his amply-demonstrated exhaustive medical knowledge is totally the guy to read through all the numbers and conclude that Michael's smartifying brain tumor was also going to kill him. Anyway, Car of Downers continues to a marina. We see Sucre walking over to Dr. Sara and setting down a big briefcase full of money; he explains, "This is the General's money. I was supposed to wire it down to Costa Rica for you to pick up, but um, I ran into some trouble. I'm sorry." Sorry for handing someone a big briefcase full of money? I could use those kind of apologies, so long as Sucre's handing them out. Come here, Papi. I'll even let you hug me for free.
Anyway, there's a very sweet moment where Dr. Sara and Sucre wish each other the best in their respective parenting ventures, then there's a sweet moment where Sucre hugs Lincf. Then Mahone comes over and hands Linc a DVD. Linc asks Mahone, "He never said anything to me. Why didn't he tell me?" Mahone explains, "Because he knew you'd try to stop him. He knew you'd do anything to protect your family." Linc simply rebuts, "But I didn't." Both he and Mahone look at Dr. Sara, who is seriously something of a runny-nosed mess at the moment. And we know who Linc will be taking care of. He and Mahone shake hands. Before Mahone can walk off into the sunset, he calls Dr. Sara's name and she calls back a teary thank you. Mahone waves and drives off. Oh, Alex, I might miss you most of all.
The thing you know, Linc and Dr. Sara are on a boat. Neither of them have nautical-themed pashmina afghans, although I am relieved to see that Dr. Sara finally managed to get a shower. I hope for her sake Michael remembered to stash a big, disorganized shoulder bag on board so she can get back to hauling that thing with her everywhere she goes.
Anyway, it's quite a nice boat, complete with flat-screen TV and DVD player, and Michael's nearest and dearest settle down to see what basically amounts to Michael's video will. He comes over, sits in front of the camera, and says:
Well, if you're watching this, I'm glad, because it means you're safe. And that's all I ever wanted. I wish I could be there with you, but as you probably know now, I wouldn't have had much time anyway. So I made my choice, and I don't regret it. Anyway, not too long from now, there's going to be another little Scofield running around. And Linc, I want you to promise me, no matter what, they're going to grow up knowing their uncle is never far away. And Sara, I want you to promise me that you're going to keep an eye on Linc. As you may have noticed, he has a tendency to get in trouble. You know, we spend so much of our lives not saying the things we want to say, the things we should say. We speak in code, and we send little messages. Origami. So now, plainly, simply, I want to say that I love you both very much. And I want you to promise me that you're going to tell my child -- that you're going to tell my child how much they're loved, every day. And remind them how lucky they are to be free. Because we are. We're free now. Finally -- we're free.
And on that note, Michael's last message goes dark. And so, for the last time, does Prison Break.