It's a dark and stormy night. and the sounds of 3OH!3 are playing in the air. Four young girls sit around a warehouse-looking room laughing and giggling. That is, until the power goes out. The door creaks open, and the girls huddle together and move towards it to see what is outside (have they never seen a horror movie?) and they all jumped about five feet in the air when a figure moves towards them. But then they started laughing because it is their friend Alison.
All scariness is immediately forgotten, and Hanna asks Ali if she's downloaded the new Beyoncé yet. She hasn't, but Emily has and she loves the new video. Alison is quick to remark upon that. Aria is given some sort of mystery (presumably alcoholic) beverage by Alison, and the girls cackle that this will make Aria air all her dirty laundry. Alison quickly remarks that friends share secrets, in an effort to remain close-knit. The girls follow suit, as Alison is seemingly the queen bee here, and Aria takes another sip of mystery juice.
The thing we see is the girls all passed out on various chairs and pillows around the room. The girls slowly rouse, but realize that Ali and Spencer are missing. Spencer comes through the open door and emotionlessly tells them that Ali is gone. She's been looking for her and that she thinks she heard her scream.
we know it is one year later and there are Rosewood Observers being delivered with Alison's picture on them, proclaiming her to be still missing. We zoom in on a cute brown-and-yellow house, where Aria is in a room filled with unopened boxes. Holly Marie Combs (who is depressingly playing her mother. Was Charmed that long ago?) comes in to ask her if she's OK. Aria says that it is weird to be home. Holly Marie Mom says that, at 16, a year can seem like a long time. Profound. Aria says that she thinks about Alison every day, and Holly Marie Mom says that she should call her friends and let her know that she's returned from her father's sabbatical. It's the anniversary of Alison's disappearance, and Aria doesn't particularly cotton to the idea of it being celebrated like a party.
This riveting conversation is interrupted by Aria's brother, who nasally informs Holly Marie Mom and Aria that he needs a ride to lacrosse. Guess someone had no trouble jumping back into society. It's the first tryout and he can't find any of his stuff. Chad Lowe wants to make sure that Aria's OK, she tells him she's still keeping his secret. Ooh, juicy! Tell me more. But for the moment he just wants to make sure she's OK about Alison. And, I'm so sure, wanting to keep his secret a secret. Then the kids take off, and Holly Marie Mom and Chad Dad stand by the door and watch them and say they're happy to be home. Aren't they just picture-perfect?
Aria's at school (though it doesn't seem like she actually went to school that day) and she wants to know when to pick her brother up. He tells her to come back at six, and since she has nearly two hours and can't quite bring herself to pick up the phone and call her friends, she goes to the Hollis Bar and Grill for some food. She orders a hamburger and then looks sadly at a bulletin board that has a poster about Alison's disappearance. A cute guy at the bar asks if she's OK, she says she's just tired from getting back from Europe. Where, pray tell, in the large continent of Europe was she? Iceland. I presumed that she was lying, because that's just so random, but cute boy just says that he spent some time in Iceland, before he went to Amsterdam. He says Reykjavik is a great city. She wants to know if he goes to Hollis, and he says he just graduated. He's going to start teaching soon. They share a mutual admiration of a song on the radio and then he inquires as to what her major is and she says that she is leaning towards English. What a coincidence, that's what he's teaching. She's also a writer, but mostly only for herself. Probably lots of furious journal entries in her blog. He tried to be a writer, but didn't get far. He would like to read her stuff because she's smart and well-traveled (well, she's been one place, at least) and has great taste in music. He wants to know more about her. The feeling is apparently quite mutual. So they are soon in the bathroom of the restaurant making out. As you do.
Hanna, who has clearly taken to the role of spoiled teen, is trying on sunglasses. She wants to see some other sunglasses and gets the clerk to let her walk upstairs through the department store wearing them for a minute because she's so pretty. She heads off upstairs because she sees Spencer, and says in disbelief that she can't believe, with taking classes at Hollis, interning for the mayor, redoing a barn and Tweeting, that Spencer has time to shop. Apparently, while Spencer was busy this summer, all Hanna did was shop. Or, more to the point, shoplift. Spencer takes a serious turn with the convo by asking if Hanna saw the paper. Considering that it isn't on her cell phone, I'm shocked when she answers "yes." Newspapers. Teenagers have heard of them? Could there be hope for that dying industry after all? She can't believe that it has been a year, and Spencer says it is weird that Alison is gone. Spence then cryptically says that while Ali said that their secrets would keep them close, she thinks the opposite has happened. Aw, BFFs never really last at that age, do they?
Hanna changes the conversation back to clothes, and asks why Spencer is shopping. She's meeting Melissa's fiancé at her family dinner. Her sister is apparently Miss Perfect and has found a med student who everyone already loves. Hanna finds Spencer a better shirt, so that she can get some attention, instead of Melissa hogging the spotlight all the time. At least Hanna is helping others... sorta.
Hanna heads off to through the mall, flaunts her soon-to-be-stolen sunglasses at the security guard, and walks out of the place leaving the sales clerk confused and counting the glasses on the counter, and presumably that $350 dollars has to come out of his paycheck. A security guard comes over, and just when you might think she's about to get caught, he just hands her a very trendy purse that she's forgotten. Another girl, wearing a stolen scarf, comes over and says that she thought Hanna was busted, and they walk away happily in their shoplifting afterglow.
The day at school, Chad Dad is dropping both kids off, and he tells Aria that he loves her and her mom... he made a mistake and will be sorry about it for the rest of his life. So he's a cheater? That's a big secret? I thought maybe he had a disease or something, and that's where they were for the past year. As he drives off, Aria has a flashback of her and Alison walking and eating froyo, while a desperately eager girl calls out to them. They blow off the clearly less popular girl, round a corner and see her father's car, with her father in it making out with someone who is clearly not Holly Marie Mom. In a car behind some bushes? He couldn't spring for a hotel room?
Aria's flashback is interrupted by Emily, who looking very sporty and didn't know that Aria was back. She didn't recognize Aria without the pink streaks in her hair. Emily wishes she had called, and Aria says they lost touch, Emily says they had to. Again, very cryptic with the secrets and the mysterious ways. They talk about Ali, Emily says she knows they all think Alison is dead, and Aria looks shocked, until she realizes that Emily's probably right, she's just surprised that Emily said it out loud. They head to class, and Emily is anxious to see the new teacher, who is reportedly really hot. Yeah, it's going to be hot diner English teacher guy. Try and act surprised. Hanna walks in like she owns the place, Aria seems surprised to see her friend and the little sycophantic scarf-stealer. Emily catches her up with the fact that Hanna is the new "it" girl, and Mona is her accessory. Mona was the desperate girl in need of style help that Alison and Aria ignored in the flashback. She's definitely improved her station in the high school hierarchy. Hanna mostly ignores Aria's attempt at a wave, and Emily says that they all fell out of touch. When Spencer walks in, she also sits away from most of the girls.
Mr. Fitz walks in, and in a surprise to no one who watches television, he's hot bar boy. He sees Aria first and says "holy crap," which is the perfect language for a teacher to use on his first day of school. When Aria looks up, she looks shocked, and then the entire class is staring at her. Then her cell phone rings, and she scrambles to get it. He starts introducing himself, and Aria gets a text that says, "Maybe he fools around with students all of the time. A lot of teachers do. Just ask your dad. - A" Which is apparently Alison's way of signing her texts.
At Emily's house, she's telling her mom that she's surprised that Alison's parents sold the house. Nia Peeples is Emily's mom. This whole show is like a '90s party. She wants to know if Aria still has the pink hair. Nia never understood why her family would let their kid dye their hair crazy colors. Emily says it's because Aria's parents think their kids are all equals and allow them to try things. Nia basically says it's irresponsible parenting. She doesn't approve of the goth lifestyle in the middle of Rosewood. Yes. Pink streaks are just a gateway to all manner of drugs and gang warfare. Emily wistfully says that some people dream of making it out of this small town.
She then walks over to the DiLaurentis house with a basket to welcome the new people, but she sees some of Alison's old stuff on the sidewalk. Maya St. Germaine comes strutting out, intros herself and asks if Em wants the medal or anything else that is in the boxes that were sitting in her room. Em says that it belonged to Alison and that she was a friend who used to live here. Maya wants more details, because she's an awesome combo of curious and pushy. Em says that the five girls used to hang out, but not any more. Maya then asks for help moving in the last few boxes. Em agrees, and while they are lifting stuff in and out of the house Maya asks why she isn't still friends with Alison. Emily doesn't answer, and only says that Maya asks too many questions. So Maya lets Em ask a few to even things out. Em sees a boy in a picture frame and asks if it's Maya's boyfriend. She smiles and says his name is Justin... and he sadly lives 3,000 miles away. Emily says that her boyfriend's name is Ben and he's a swimmer like her. Maya says that her mom is a cellist; she plays, but not the cello. Maya wants to know if her big jock friend would mind if she smoked some weed. After briefly being worried about Maya's parents (who are missing) she approves, and then agrees to partake. Maya wants to know if it is OK with Emily that she's basically corrupting her five minutes after meeting her, and she smiles and says she is.
Out at the barn, Spencer meets up with a prissy-looking girl who I can only imagine is Melissa. She says that she was skeptical when their mother told her that Spencer was converting the barn into a loft, but that she did a great job. And she totally appreciates that Spencer's letting her and her fiancé move into it. Spencer looks gobsmacked, and Melissa explains that they are going to move in while they redo her place in the city. Melissa is a stone-cold bitch. In case that didn't come across. Spencer says that she made a deal with her parents that she could move in during junior year if she got good grades, did an internship, did all this work and gave up her summer. Melissa tells her that she'll have to wait, because she and Wren are a couple and need their own space and can't possibly move into a room in the main house. Wren comes out and introduces himself as the sisters have a stare-down. She says she was hoping that Spencer would be happy for her, but she says, "Well, you know what they say about hope? It breeds eternal misery." Wow, sounds like someone never gets her way. Poor Spencer. She walks off, Wren seems concerned about his new future sister-in-law, and Melissa says that she'll get over it.
Later that night Wren is outside smoking, where Spencer is sitting reading To Kill a Mockingbird by moon and candlelight. She says he should know better, since he's a med student. She wants to know if her sister knows he smokes. He says that her sister doesn't need to know everything. He apologizes for moving into her loft, offers to say something to bitch sister, but Spencer realizes that this will make no difference. She says he's different from the other boyfriends of Melissa's. What is the difference? She admits that she likes him, and she usually hates Melissa's other beaus. Well, you'd have to be kind of a dick to deal with a bitch like Melissa.
In the deserted school hallways, Aria is walking down to Mr. Fitz's (aka Hot for Teacher's) classroom. He says she said she went to college, she says she only admitted to thinking about majoring in English. Semantics. Fitz says he thinks she's amazing and he instantly liked her. She grabs his hand, and he looks panicked. He says that he can't because he's her teacher, and he walks out of the room.
Emily and her new bestie Maya walk home together, Maya says she never had a jock friend, but that makes her the first. Emily looks sad when she sees Alison's old boxes being picked up by the trash truck. She fills Maya in on the fact that Alison has gone missing, and says that while she doesn't like to talk about Alison because it hurts, she still thinks about her all the time. The girls kiss on the cheek, but dangerously close to their lips, and then it is a little awkward.
In a locker room, Emily is only wearing a towel when she sees Spencer, who wants to know if Em and Aria have been hanging out. She casually says "not really," as she opens her locker to see a note: "Hey Em! I've been replaced, you've found another friend to kiss! - A" Spencer wants to know if everything is alright, Emily says yes, but as soon as her old friend walks away, she looks pretty unsettled.
Spencer is in her kitchen in a very small bikini when Wren walks in wearing only his swim trunks. He proclaims, in his British accent, that it is the perfect time for a Jacuzzi. Spencer thought they weren't moving in for another week, but Melissa wanted to get settled before classes started. He asks Spencer for a towel, and she passes him the one she's got draped over her shoulder. She starts rubbing her neck while he towels off. He wants to know if it is stress, but she chalks it up to a tough field hockey practice. He rowed for Oxford, which she smartasses must have looked good on his med school applications. He claims that he loves it, then gets all doctor about her fluid buildup, gets behind her and massages her shoulders. She declares his magic doctor fingers to be awesome. Their moment of flirting is interrupted when Melissa calls from the front of the house looking for him. Spencer quickly makes her way, with her towel, out to the Jacuzzi, and Wren tells Melissa he wasn't talking to anyone.
Holly Marie Mom is unpacking and is pleased to have found her giant wine glasses. That is worth celebrating. Has she met Jules on Cougar Town? She also found Aria's old hand puppet. Holly Marie Mom says she's happy to be home, but Chad Dad's not so sure yet. She insists that he and Aria are a lot alike, and Aria's not quite thrilled to be back either. He says that he felt like they bonded while they were away. She says that's only because they didn't know anyone else. He doesn't want to lose that happy family togetherness that they had. She doesn't understand why he's concerned, and he says that stuff gets in the way, like work and other women and whatnot. He changes the subject to Aria's puppet pig, which was a gift from ChadDad. He tell Holly Marie Mom that everything is all good. She says that she drove by Alison's and it is weird. He says it is horrible to imagine something like that happening. He assures them that they are safe and together and home. Gag. Seriously, these two are nauseating.
Spencer is in her room, not her loft, reading, when she hears voices outside. It's her sister and Wren giggling outside the barn. She watches, until she hears her computer beep with a new message. It's an email: "Poor Spencer. Always wants Melissa's boyfriends. But remember, if you kiss I tell. - A"
Flashback time. Alison is stopping Hanna from eating a fresh-baked cookie and Spencer is just standing there when Melissa walks in with her boyfriend Ian. Ian asks if Spencer needs help with some field hockey stuff. Alison says that Spencer needs to tell her sister... what? Spencer says nothing, so Melissa walks off with Ian in tow. Alison just stares knowingly at Spencer, while Hanna looks confused. The two girls walk outside, Alison says she's going to find out, Spencer says she won't, and Alison promises that if Spencer doesn't tell her, she will. It was only one kiss, but Alison says she's going to do the right thing. Spencer says if Alison tells Melissa about the smooching, then she'll tell everyone about the Jenna thing. Spencer stares out at the barn and sees a blonde figure move across the way and thinks it is Alison. Also, it should be mentioned that Spencer's bedroom in the main house is pretty sweet. I get that she feels like the lesser sister, but damn, this room is huge.
On a porch swing in front of Aria's house, Emily tells Aria that she got a note. Aria says she got one, too. They wonder if they could really be from Alison. They consider it a likely possibility, since the messages include secrets that only she could have known. Aria says she thinks she's playing with them, since that was basically her "favorite sport." Can you put that on college applications? They consider telling someone, but Aria can't say anything because the note is too dark of a secret. Aria says that even though she grew up here, she feels like an outcast, and Emily feels the same way. So they just sit and swing.
Laura Leighton is Hanna's mom (I'm really feeling ancient now), and she saw Holly Marie Mom today and wonders why Hanna didn't tell her that Aria was back. She also says that Holly Marie Mom didn't know that Hanna's father had split town. She hates telling that story. Hanna just says that she changed the story that they are happier without him and it was mutual. She says that people don't need to know that "they" got dumped. Melrose Mom tries to correct her, but since dad split on both of them, it really is a "they." Hanna's phone rings, and Melrose Mom says that if it's Mona she's going to stage an intervention. Hanna doesn't read her message, but Melrose Mom's phone rings and then the doorbell. A very young-looking detective and a policeman are at the door. They're there to pick Hanna up for stealing sunglasses. Guess Hanna never considered that there would be security cameras in the store. Sydney thinks there has been a mistake, but the very young and not-at-all-convincing detective tells him that he's pretty sure. They cuff her and take her down to the police station. She sits and considers binging on M&Ms in a chair while her mom and newbie detective boy converse very intimately. Her phone rings and she's got a message, "Be careful, Hanna. I hear prison food makes you fat. - A"
Melrose Mom grabs Hanna and they walk out. When they get to the car, Melrose Mom starts lecturing her about small towns and gossip and impressions. She doesn't understand why Hanna would steal when she buys her everything she "needs to be popular." She says that's not why she does it. Melrose Mom thinks that she's doing this to get her father's attention, but that in Rosewood there is no room for mistakes. Hanna apologizes, but MM says she'll deny that she did anything wrong and says she's taking care of it.
Emily is walking when sees an ambulance go screaming by towards her house. She runs after it, and it stops at Maya's house. Maya's there and tells Emily that they found her friend. Emily runs inside after her. Maya says she's sorry, but they found her body. The coroner's department wheels the body away on a stretcher. Hanna and Aria and Spencer are all there to see, and there's a large crowd forming. Aria goes to a stunned Spencer and says that she heard Hanna was at the police station; they worry that she spilled about "the Jenna thing," but Hanna walks over and says that they made a promise.
Hanna eats ice cream and watches the news report that informs her that while the new owners were making room for Maya's mom's cello room, the found the body. Of course. A family spokesperson says that the gazebo was under construction when Alison went missing. While Hanna's watching TV, she hears noises from the front door. It is Melrose Mom making out with too-young detective. As they go upstairs, Melrose Mom gives her thieving daughter a glare. So she's prostituting herself to help her kid remain popular. What a great example!
Reporters are in front of a church as people gather for the funeral. Emily and Spencer hug. Mr. Fitz finds Aria hiding in a quiet stairwell and asks if Alison was her friend. She spouts back a "Do you care?" while he says he wasn't sure if he should ask, but was worried about being a jerk. She doesn't want to do anything to get him in trouble, so she kisses him on the cheek and walks away. He grabs her and gives her a really good, full, on-the-lips kiss. She stops him and walks away, he stares after her all sad-like. Aria pays her respects to Alison's mom, who has asked all the girls to sit up front, per Alison's wishes. Did she have her funeral planned? It does seem like Alison's MO.
When Aria sees the casket and the giant picture of Alison, she seems upset, but Hanna grabs her hand and pulls her into the pew. They say Alison would have loved that it was such a big scene. Aria gets a text message, Hanna wants to know if it is someone they know. She quickly puts together that Spencer and Hanna also got messages from A. But they don't have time to discuss it, because in walks Jenna (who appears to be blind). As Jenna sits down, Alison's mom sits down to Aria and asks why Jenna Marshall is there. She didn't think she was friends with Alison. Spencer says they weren't friends. The four girls walk out of the church together, arm in arm. Cute detective (Det. Wilden) says they're all good friends of Alison's, so he needs to talk to them all again, even though they took their statements last year. That's the difference between a missing persons investigation and a murder. He says he is determined to find out what happened. They all wonder if he knows about... something, their words are cut off by ringing phones. They all get the same text. "I'm still here, bitches. And I know everything. - A"
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