Helen's Office of Quick and Decisive Pain. The trial picks up after a commercial break separating the first and second parts of the episode. Helen examines her fake files while listening to her television. According to the fake news, the courthouse is already packed with press, and if you didn't get yourself a pass, you are plum out of luck. Okay. The large ten-tonne truck barreling toward me is carrying a huge load of signs. All of them say, in bold Century Gothic font: We. Get. It. Yes, this is a high-profile case. Yes, the Senator is pleading for his life. Yes, there is more here than meets the eye. Any. Way. Helen packs up her briefcase while the camera pauses for a moment on Hunky DA, grimacing. We focus on the fake reporter giving his fake commentary: Blah the entire city is asking the same question, blah what was Senator Ellison really thinking when he fired the gun, blah was the shooting an act of vengeance or was he truly defending his wife. The Drama of His Defenseless Women's melody is droll in the background.
The Firm. Senator Ellison and his wife Marsha are watching the same newscast. Ellenor comes into the conference room where they are seated and says, "Let's go." The two get up to leave.
The Fake Courthouse of Immeasurable Pain. An elevator dings. This spurs the cameras into slow motion. Reporters fling themselves at the opening doors like wedding guests throwing rice at the happy couple. The immaculate head of Emperor Rod emerges. Ellenor Frutt, Senator Ellison, and Marsha Ellison follow him. They all wear expressions of extreme reverence. From the other direction, like gladiators in a Roman arena, the prosecution floats in from the other side. Armed with only their wit and wonder, Team Prosecution is looking for blood. The reporters rush around them. You can only hear from a distance -- or at least that's what they would have us believe, as the sound is muted and hollow. Cameras flash and voices scream as the two sides enter the courtroom, ready for battle.
Helen stares toward the bench before standing. Her bony knees are knocking. She laces her string-bean fingers behind her in the small of her back, and begins: "This trial is not about who shot and killed James McNown." She addresses the jury. The defendant did that -- there is no disputing that. No, this trial is about why Senator Ellison shot and killed the man. The evidence is conclusive: Ellison discovered his wife in bed with the Dead Man; he became enraged, and then shot him. Blah he destroyed the evidence, dee he covered up the crime, blah he tried to get away with it. Helen: "There's an old saying in the medical profession. When you hear hoof beats, don't think zebra." Um, okaybut if I were picking analogies, I probably would have picked one that was at least a little bit relevant. I'm pretty sure there are neither wild horses nor zebras roaming the streets of Boston on a regular basis. ["And what the hell has the medical profession got to do with anything? I mean, I get it, and yethuh?" -- Sars] Helen explains her rationale; instead of looking for some far-fetched diagnosis, one should just see the obvious. Because drawing wild horses and zebras into the conversation is the easiest way of, um, stating the obvious. Right. Moving on. The commonwealth will ask the jury to see the facts for what they are: obvious. Uh-huh, okay -- because Helen runs with the truth in every case she tries. Sure. On to Ellenor's opening statements. Blah she agrees with the DA, dee the trial is about why Ellison "fatally wounded" the Dead Man, blah it was Mistaken Self-Defense. Ellenor sets the scene. She talks to the jury in the second person, just so that they'll understand exactly how Senator Ellison felt. It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure of a trial. Blah the person you love is being killed blah. It's all very dramatic. Ellenor's evidence, presumably the same evidence Helen's team has access to, will prove that Senator Ellison acted in the best interests of his family. Yawn. Been there. Heard that. Don't believe it. Carry on. The entire case is built on what was in Senator Ellison's mind, on both sides -- it's a hard one to argue. Ellenor finishes and sits down, and Hunky DA whispers something into Helen's ear.
The jury is looking at a crime-scene photo from the night of the murder. The Dead Man is posed atop a bloody white sheet with his left arm and leg extended, looking fatally wounded. Detective Mike is on the stand. He explains to Hunky DA that this is what the victim looked like when the police arrived on the scene. Alan asks who was present when they arrived at the residence. Mike replies that Senator Ellison, Marsha, Allison, and Ellenor were there when he got to the scene. Lowe points to the fact that Ellenor was there before the police. Mike agrees with him. Then he asks who called the police: Ellenor. Did anyone call 911? No. Odd -- Ron Livingston does the whole cross-examination thing in the same tone of voice he used in Office Space when he told the consultants he was pretty much not doing any work at all during the day. But it works just as well here, and I was concerned that it might not. Anyway -- blah why did you arrest Senator Ellison? Because there was a gunshot wound to the head, at close range, resembling an execution. Ellenor objects. Mike rephrases. Blah they found the gun on the scene, dee it belonged to the defendant, blah it had been wiped clean of fingerprints, dee how many times can we go over the same freaking evidence, blah. The results of the trace metal test were negative. But didn't the defendant fire the gun? Yes. But the police think that Ellison either wore gloves or wiped the residue clean. Alan starts postulating about the crime, making stuff up, and the Emperor Rod objects, only to have Finkle allow the line of questioning. Now, Mike thinks Ellison was going to hide his identity as the shooter, but changed his mind and decided to go with self-defense. Alan inquires after Ellison's wardrobe on the night of the murder. Mike notes that he was wearing freshly laundered clothes. Lowe: "So, after the shooting." Pause. "The defendant." Pause. "Did a load of." Pause. "Laundry." Mike nods.