Bobby The Rod Is Not Enough Donnell and Ellenor Look Whos Talking Too Frutt walk toward a holding cell at the County Jail. As they enter the cell, they are greeted by Percy Wetmore from the movie The Green Mile. I guess Doug Hutchison is slumming as this weeks Special Guest Star. Bobby announces that the prosecution made an offer of thirty years. The client scoffs and continues to hold the grated window so he looks tough in the presence of the Emperor. Neither Bobby nor Ellenor makes a step toward the table to sit down. Bobby says its not unusual for a case involving two murders. Jackie has a serpentine tattoo on the arm thats grasping the cell window that makes him look even tougher. He protests, One murder! If you ask me it was a public service killing. The other one, the kid, everyone knows he was just an accident. Ellenor interjects to state that, under the law, Jackies accident is felony murder, and hes looking at a double life sentence. Jackie takes a step forward and sits down: Lets go to trial. Rod blathers on about Jackie wanting to take out his competition, the man he killed was small-time dealer, but Anthony Helpburn was an innocent kid who didnt deserve to get shot in the head. Jackie looks calmly at his lawyers and says, If I gave you the impression that I had anything to do with those killings that was a misunderstanding. He crosses his hands in front of him. We are going to trial. Ellenor insists that they have a weak case. Jackie insists that, if they were actually working on the case instead of sniffing around for pleas, the situation might be different. The Rod points his Philosopher Of Scum finger at Jackie as he alleges that he cant put Jackie on the stand without suborning perjury. With his record, Jackie can expect consecutive life terms with no chance for parole. Jackie: Im not going to lose. Bobby throws his hands around in disgust: Theyve got an eyewitness. Jackie thinks they neednt worry about that. Bobby: What do you mean? Insert hands being tossed around like a salad. Jackie responds, We dont need to worry about him. Damn, there goes the Emperors other hand. I interviewed him myself. Hands rest. Hes very credible. Jackie repeats that they dont need to worry about the witness. Hum -- do you think hes got something shady up his sleeve or what? Ellenor and Rod exchange some knowing glances. Bobby blithely slides into the chair facing Jackie. He tosses his briefcase to the left. He intones, Youre going to have to tell me what that means, Jackie, because I know youre not going to harm that witness. Jackie Son Of Mob Cahill says, Im in jail -- what can I do? The Jailhouse Rock version of The Jackie Cahill Smooth Jazz Song warms up the already hot interior of the cell. Bobby insists that they're already in enough trouble. He doesnt want Jackie to make it any worse by intimidating a witness. Jackie mumbles, Okay. I understand. Rod screams, Look at me. A snarling Jackie gives Bobby a totally flat look and says, I understand. Translation: Oh, that poor witness who had the misfortune of getting mixed up in this crap.
Okay, its the end of the world. There are two choices available to me to ensure that I survive the total and utter destruction of all humankind. My choices: I can have a lobotomy and be cryogenically frozen until someone finds me, or I can go underground with only the theme from The Practice to listen to for all eternity. Im going to go with the lobotomy.
The Firm Where They Worry About Clients Causing Pain. Oh. My. Gosh. Rebecca is alive. Shes not still in her coma. Shes actually talking. She wants to know if Cahill actually threatened the witness. Its the usual full-firm powwow where they discuss, at length, the troubles with their cases. Usually its DEKs excuse to prove to the rest of the viewing audience that Rebecca is still a character on this damn show. Ellenor thinks Cahill kind of did threaten the witness. Eugene wants to know what she means by "kind of threatened the witness." Ellenor repeats that Jackie said they didnt need to worry about the witness, and she didnt think he was talking about Bobbys cross-examination skills. Mrs. Rod thinks they need to tell Bay. Ragdoll wonders how much it costs the two of them to leave their kids in daycare, and -- what, neither of these women breastfeeds? Moving on. Jimmy hopes Jackie means that the witness is a friend, or that hes got proof the witness is lying. Lindsay snaps, Yeah, right. Eugene turns to Bobby and asks, What did you say? Rod says he laid it out. Eugene decides for the two of them by stating that they shouldnt say anything. Leaving aside what Jackie the Jackass meant, the conversation is protected by attourney-client privilege, and if they arent sure, they cant reveal what he said, crime impending or no crime impending. Lindsay, in that tone -- you know, the one all dripping with I know whats best and Im the biggest bitch and Im the wicked witch -- slams her fingers with alarming force upon the table and exclaims, We dont need this. Pause. Hair flipping. Pause. She looks over to her husband: You were just on trial for conspiring with a client. If you dont say anything and a witness ends up dead you could end up facing obstruction charges. Rebecca -- and yes, they let her talk in this episode -- says, If theres any chance this witness is in danger you have to say something. For the final word, Rod turns to the Lump, Knight Hopelessly Devoted To The Emperor, who says that the two of them were the only two in the room. Wow. Hes sure got some powerful observation skills. Not. Ellenor wants to lay down the law with Jackie again and then decide whether or not to say something. Bobby sighs his agreement, and then tops off his sigh with a little air punch for luck.
The Witness Room Of Jackies Pain. Ellenor is laying down said law. Jackie claims that, back in his shrink days, the doctor told him that, when hes feeling powerless, he acts more brave and tough. Murdering Drug Dealer -- The Musical comes up as Jackie continues, Now my lifes been taken away from me. Im sitting in a cell all day. My future is in the hands of this eyewitness. I guess I just wanted to feel more powerful than him, and so I said that. Ellenor and Bobby dont look convinced. Im thinking Jackie liked life a little better when he was the one doing the locking up in The Green Mile, not being the one behind the bars.