You know what I hate? The previews for this show are never actually in the show itself. I waited all week to hear at whom Travis bitched, "You're slowing everyone else down."
This show is killing my VCR. At this point, any time I record the show the sound is all garbled. Wait. Oh. Gracias, St. Clare.
Previously on Popstars: We see twenty-six shots of gyrating, over-enunciating girlie-girls. We're told that they're the last twenty-six from the original "thousands." Our narrator: "Tonight, they'll have to prove it again, as they face an intense workshop in Los Angeles with Roger Love, one of the top vocal coaches in the business. Then they'll sing for the man that has the most power over their future, GRAMMY-Award-winning composer David Foster." We see the girls sing and dance around. David Foster tells the girls that if they aren't prepared for the rejection part of this business, then they should get out immediately. ["And then email Mighty Big TV and beg to be interviewed." -- Wing Chun] Nikki tells us that one girl told her that she already knows she got cut, and that she's on the bus out of there. Girls cry and hold each other as the narrator reminds us again that the "stakes are high and the tension is unbearable." Pretty Alexandra cries through her eye-sequins and says, "Everybody's making it so difficult for everyone." Six will be cut by the end of the episode. Tiny Squares of Girls and Fun fill the screen, and my VCR makes a small shrill noise, not unlike a death wail or an alarm.
LAX. The girls arrive at the airport and somehow are all arriving on flights that land at the same time. They greet and hug each other. The narrator tells us that the girls decided to put the pressures aside and "enjoy the moment." Okay. Some are filming each other. Petagay dances and says, "I'm on the West Coast!" The student says she's just happy to be out of school. Alexis has worn giant sunglasses with a tiny rhinestone heart on the bottom of the rim. ["I have a pair of those! Niki's boyfriend Josh got them for me. Only mine are aqua instead of black." -- Wing Chun] She says she's so happy to be in Los Angeles. Isadelle, sans Scarytwin, is proving her ability to learn names quickly. Baby has worn giant pink sunglasses. "We have arrived," she smiles.
Same montage of Sunset Strip clubs flashes by. Shops on the same street (but in the daytime, so it looks like another location). Palm trees. The girls are then "whisked away from the airport" and stuck on top of a double-decker bus for a "grand tour of Los Angeles." Man, that would be a long-ass tour, people. This is clearly just a tour of Hollywood. Alexis raises her hand and says, "This is definitely not New York." The girls all start singing, "Dah-dah-dah-nuh-nah-nah Hollywood!" Again, not a single one of them learned the song before they started singing. The bus heads straight towards Stee's apartment. I watch the bus get closer and closer to his place as Petagay talks about how ethnically diverse the finalists are. Before I have a chance to finish laughing, the girls are driving right in front of my own street. "Are we in Beverly Hills?" one girl screeches. Uh, no. You're in my driveway. Could y'all just back the fuck up? Petagay sings again, and I'm relieved to see Baby staring in the opposite direction from my front door.
Cut to the hotel. "The girls prepare for a big night out." This means each girl helps her roommate choose the worst outfit she can find, and make sure that at least her own roommate looks worse than she does. They're really starting to cancel each other out. Baby and Cheaza are rooming together. Cheaza is wearing an ensemble from the Jimi Hendrix Psychedelic Vomit Collection. Alexandra lines her lips. Ivette puts on a mask and threatens to go to the party like that. Isadelle is trying to hide behind the bathroom door because the camera is filming her in just a towel. Nicole wiggles and tells us she's a little nervous. Now that we're starting to see Nicole more, I have to take back the Beyoncé comment. She no longer resembles her. She looks more like Paula Abdul.
"Then it's off to one of L.A.'s hottest nightspots, The Continental, where the girls will see the judges for the first time since their auditions." Now, I may be new to Los Angeles, but I'm capable of using the Yellow Pages. I've got the street number of this club and the name, and I can't find anything on The Continental anywhere. Unless it's the Crush Bar, and then they're just filming the wrong place. The closest Continental I could find with this matching street number is a check-cashing place. Travis beams into the camera that he's so happy the girls have arrived at the bar.
Cheaza says she's going to have fun and dance tonight. "Travis is gonna break us down a little bit," she says.
We're introduced once again to Travis, Jaymes, and Jennifer. We're told the girls are at the club to "relax and get to know each other." Alexandra shows off this fluid motion thing she can do with her arms. Nikki laughs at someone off-camera. We pan by a group of girls, but all you notice is the remarkable amount of bare flesh on display. We're reminded again that six girls will be asked to leave by the end of this episode. This doesn't stop four of the girls from dancing with each other. Isadelle tells us that it's nice right now because they haven't started working yet, so it hasn't all kicked in.
We watch the girls find their hotel rooms again. This makes some start turning in circles while holding pieces of paper. Weren't they just there a few hours ago? How can you forget your room that quickly?
Baby looks into the camera (still in her pink sunglasses) and asks if the cameras are still going to be there while she's sleeping. Isadelle is closing the bathroom door (in her towel, because this is a clip from earlier). Quick Tiny Squares of Girls and Fun.
Workshop. Day One. 9:00 AM. Kerrie tells us she knows this is going to be "a lot of hard work." Travis twirls around behind her. As we cut to a split screen of girls dancing, Kerrie continues and says that this is what all of them have always wanted.
Jessica Robinson gets her first words on Popstars: "When we first drove up and I looked inside and saw all this stuff, I was like, 'Oh, my God!'"
We see shots of the girls standing around, posing, sizing each other up. The narrator tells us that the girls are about to go through two days of "vocal training, singing, and dancing." And dance lessons. And voice instruction. And dance time. They will all then "put it together in a performance that will decide which girls leave and which girls stay."
Travis says hello to all of the girls. He tells them that he's going to focus on how well they take direction and will be looking for their potential. He says it will be fun, but it will be work. This work ethic is demonstrated in Travis's outfit for the workshop: the work part is the tank top. The fun is the beige camouflage pants. Or is it the other way around?
Aaliyah's "Try Again" is still trying to give these girls a clue. They're walking and pointing and gyrating around to the music one at a time. Each one flirts with the camera and shakes her ass. Lips are licked. Hips are jutted. Jennifer cuts in to say that every girl looks like she's "pretty much in shape." She says now she can tell who has more experience than the other girls.
Right on cue, we cut to Alexandra, who is dancing with an "oh, shit!" grimace on her face. Her head is down and she appears to be disappointed with every step she takes.
"Nicole is the picture of self-confidence," the narrator tells us. For future reference, if you ever need a picture of yourself representing "self-confidence," all you need is a zebra tank top, black tight pants, and the ability to thrust both your crotch and your ass at the camera at the same time. In a split screen, she tells us that she's incredibly nervous and kept waking up all last night.
"A place in the group could change Curtisha Johnson's whole life." Curtisha is my new favorite auditioner. In a split screen, she tells us that, if she made the group, it would be a blessing: "It would mean I would never have to be a waitress ever again." Curtisha's words, simultaneously uttered along with sixteen thousand other women in the Hollywood area cause a massive sound boom that knocks down power lines and phones for over thirty-five minutes.
More arm thrusting and hip wiggling. The narrator tells us that the girls know they are being watched all the time, so they're trying to keep their emotions under control. "Christina Petty knows this first-hand," he finishes. Christina tells us that she was crying earlier when the piano was playing because she misses home. Damn, I kinda miss Dog, too. With his invisible support system. He's there, but not all up in our shit.
We're reminded again that Alexis is the only one who deserves to be a Popstar because this is her first audition and she wants it so badly. Alexis says something I can't understand at all, and then says she'd have a heart attack if she made it into the group.
Shaunda and Alexis out-sing Aaliyah with each other.
Travis then "ups the ante" by showing the girls actual choreography. They all learn the moves.
Cut to girls in groups of five doing the new dance, complete with mic props. Ana Maria Lombo is the girl with the family band. She's also the girl with a kick-ass body. In a separate room interview, Ana Maria is telling us about her family band. She's wearing the same stuff from episode one's interview, so I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that Ana Maria probably makes it into Popstars and this is a later interview since they didn't get much tape on her during the initial audition process. There is no other explanation for this boring story she's telling about how she and her sister used to sing Christmas carols for her father.
Scary Rosanna Tavarez isn't as scary when she's not wearing giant amounts of pomade. We split screen to her with scary hair, telling us that she feels much more invested at this point than she ever did before. She never thought she'd get this far. "This is like a dream," she says. "This is incredible." She smiles and laughs.
Travis pushes Alexandra up against the back brick wall and grabs the arm of Alexis instead. As Alexandra pouts and holds back the tears, the narrator tells us that her lack of formal dance training is starting to make Alexandra feel inferior. Um, I'm thinking it's because Travis just ditched her for a new dance partner.
Cut to Petagay holding Alexandra's hand. Isadelle and Kerrie are standing with them, smiling. Petagay is pointing right up in Alexandra's shit, telling her not to make such a stink-face every time she messes up a dance move: "When you mess up, don't ever look like that. Don't ever put that look on your face. I can see you from all the way across the room. When you mess up, you're like...[waves hands frantically and sneers]. Don't ever look like that." Alexandra smiles and looks up at the ceiling and says, "I'm very...perfectionist [sic]." I really hope that Alexandra only recently learned English. Petagay gets back up in Alexandra's face, complete with the Serious Thumb and Finger Pinch of "Let Me Tell You Something, Girl," and says, "You don't need to be taught how to dance. You need to be taught to be comfortable. You don't need to be taught how to dance, 'cause I've seen you move." Alexandra counters, "Not even!" She then says, "I just...I just need to get used to it." Petagay says, "That's...Thank you! That's all I've been waiting to hear you say." Petagay raises the Hand of "I'm Done" and says, "I don't wanna hear anymore." Petagay walks off. That was my favorite moment in Popstars history. Why can't all of the segments be that good?
Travis tells the girls that it's time for the singing portion of the workshop. Has there even been a commercial yet? There hasn't, has there? Dammit!
We're introduced to Roger Love, who I think was up for the part of Ted on Queer as Folk U.S.. He's super! Thanks for asking. Everyone applauds with a hesitant sneer on her face. Dr. Love says he's here to make their voices sound "as fabulous as they could sound." As he teaches all the girls where their diaphragms are, the narrator tries to tell us why we should care: "Roger Love has worked with some of the top names in the music business, including contemporary acts like matchbox twenty." If anyone needs me, I'll be sticking my fists into the blender. It's the only thing that make sense anymore. Margeaux also looks disgusted, so I kinda like her now. The girls all hold their faces and do vocal warm-ups. Only Ana Maria knows how to hold her face and do the warm-up without making herself look like she's got mushy cheeks. That girl is going places, I tell you. The other girls are just making good fodder for popstarsblowjobfaces.com.
Roger Love is on the piano, hitting a "Nay-nay-nay-NAY-NAY-NAY-NAY-nay-nay-nay!" that makes my cat leap from the ottoman and attack my Diet Coke. He's telling Camille to make her voice like "the Wicked Witch!" Camille starts her "nay"s, but Roger quickly stands up and puts his hand on her neck. From the angle, it totally looks like Roger hates the sound of Camille's voice so much he has no other choice but to strangle her immediately, ridding the world of so much suffering. Cut to Roger's hand on Camille's larynx. He pushes in, and she starts choking and laughing. The other girls laugh, too, because they know Camille just got the boot and there's only five other girls to go, now. Roger changes the "nay" to a "guh," and Camille does the vocal warm-up without giggles. You go, girl.
Go, go Gadget Split Screen! Camille stands at Roger's piano, killing me softly with "How Do I Live" while on the right hand side she's lying down, talking to the camera. "The whole process is really intimidating," she says. "Everywhere you go. There are the three chairs lined up, and, you know, everybody around you is judging you on something and it just...it's kind of like, nerve-wracking." Because she's nervous, and might need to hide her head at any moment, Camille has decided to wear a purple sleeveless shirt with a giant cowl-neck. It's truly uh-gly.
Oh, man. I should learn to quit while I'm ahead. Baby Norman is back. This time, instead of the "Rock Star" shirt we've seen seven times, she's wearing a t-shirt with the sparkled word "Sexy" on it. Roger pushes on Baby's stomach and tells her that he needs to see her breathe, and that her singing sounds all nervous.
Ivette sings and Roger, off-camera, barks, "Don't get louder! Don't get louder!" Ivette stops singing completely.
I think this girl is Katie Morris? I don't know. In any event, her voice is wavering all over the place and scratchy, so Roger comes over and jiggles her stomach, making her voice come out even more wavering and scratchy. Like magic!
Cheaza sings her ass off to "How Do I Live," putting the Jesus into Shaunda who now has to jump around and testify. She really does, y'all. "You gotta sing!" she shouts. Alexis runs over and hugs Cheaza as Cheaza covers her face like, "Did I just sing all of that?"
Cut to an over-emotional Shaunda telling someone, "You don't understand." She loves to hear people sing. Well, she actually says she loves "somebody that can blow," but I know how dirty all of you are, so I was going to clean it up for you. But then I decided not to. Because I love it when you talk dirty to me. I really do.
Petagay gives Cheaza a teary hug as the narrator tells us that Cheaza's singing has "lifted the girls' spirits." I suppose it's considered lifting their spirits if they all finally mustered up enough hatred and jealousy to plan her murder. At least they're united in something. The narrator says it's been a hard day. To prove this, we see random shots of girls teary-eyed or full-out bawling. We're told that tomorrow will be even tougher. "When the girls come back, the competition heats up." We see Alexandra shake her head in slow-motion, crying. "Driving some to their breaking point." Finally the fucking Tiny Squares of Girls and Fun. Thank you!
Workshop. Day Two. We're told that most girls didn't sleep last night from the pressure of the first day. Rumors started to spread, and some girls don't like other girls this fine morning. Nikki tells us, "I was talking to one of the girls last night, and she told me that, um, she knew that two of the spots were already filled, and that the two lead spots had already been filled, which meant that I was going home, because I have a lead voice, and I am just 'too good,' as she put it, to be put on background vocals. So since the two lead positions were already filled, I was on the train out of here, basically, is what she told me. And I was like, 'Oh, my God,' you know, 'did you just tell that to me?'" People, that's what happens when you let the Dallas girls talk for a second. Look at the size of that sentence!
Crystal Donahue (who I keep mistaking for Petagay) breaks it down like this: "Basically, what I've heard is like, that, um, initially if they want a five-girl group, they're gonna want somebody like the Spice Girls, and, you know, looking around here there's like a lot of minorities, so they're going to choose like, a token -- I don't know, Spice Girls -- a token blonde, a token, maybe ethnic black or in this case Hispanic or something like that, and then a token everybody else. And that was like the main rumor." Crystal has some talking skills, y'all.
Alexandra is crying by the brick wall. She shakes her head and cries. She wore lots of hair and sparkles around her eyes for her big moment, here. The narrator tells us that not only the competition, but the strain on the girls' relationships, has become "too much to bear." Alexandra tells us: "Everybody's making it so difficult for everybody. You know what I'm saying? It's like, 'Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you just stop trying to like, show off and make everybody else feel bad, you know?'" ["She's so right. I hate it when people come to an entertainment-industry audition and 'show off.'" -- Wing Chun]
St. Elmo makes a grand entrance, looking like he's expecting some applause. He tells them in a horribly constructed sentence that his part of the audition process begins now. He says he wants the five best girls. The girls all stare back vacantly, knowing that each one is the best girl there. St. Elmo tells them that they have to be prepared for the rejection part of the business or they should leave today.
St. Elmo sings in a key that makes Roger Love turn and face the brick wall with tears streaming down his sparkles. He shakes his head back and forth and wails, "Why does he have to show off like that, you know what I mean?" Jessica Robinson is singing the new song. It's written by "Christina Aguilera's songwriters." Great. They've ruined all of her current work, and now they're just ruining other things that Christina passed on.
The lyrics, people. The lyrics. Here they are, as each girl sings them. Because it's a Christina song, these girls are doing their best Aguilera impressions here. That means there are more gasps and breathy moans between words than Jack Palance singing the ABCs. Jessica: "My heart is dying cause you think I can / Know the difference between a woman and a man!"
Cut to Petagay holding the lyrics, singing. "When I see you sad, with your head down low..."
Margeaux: "Didn't know what she had. She's a fool to let you go."
Alexandra (who's wearing a paisley unitard, I think): "Gonna take away your pain."
Keitha Lind: "Gonna make her loss my gain."
Ciamar: "I know you haven't seen me yet."
Christina (Miss Garbly, if you're nasty. It sounds like she says): "Mrrletta me dat way!" (I think it's, "Or thought of me that way.")
Rosanna: "But I've been watching you. Waiting for this day. I'll be all you need to forget her."
Camille: "You'll see me through different eyes. Gonna make you realize."
No clue who this blonde is: "I'm not as naïve as you think I am."
Ivette: "Know what goes on between a woman and a man." ["She's so in, by the way. I have a crush on her." -- Wing Chun]
Ana Maria: "Don't act so serious, just take my hand."
Shaunda: "If you wanna know -- Can I do you right? Can I make you want me? You know I can." Everyone bursts into cheers, as that's the law when Shaunda sings.
Overhead shot of the girls all dancing with microphone stands. The damn narrator is back: "The moment of truth. It's time to put it all together." The girls sing the new song and put it to the dance moves they learned yesterday. We watch them in groups of five, but the music dubbed is one group singing no matter which group is dancing up there. The girls all pose on the final note in a tits-and-ass huddle around St. Elmo as Travis looks over for approval. Everyone applauds as Travis whispers something in St. Elmo's ear. I'm sure it's, "That last moment was just for you, David."
Now the girls are ushered into a waiting room to find out which six are cut. Garland is crying with some girls. In another corner, Ivette tells her group that each one of them did very well today. Alexis tells us she doesn't want to go home yet. There is a group hug. We see lots of girls hugging as the narrator tells us this experience brought the girls together in a way the judges didn't expect. Nikki asks the room if they'd be interested in sitting in a circle and saying something positive about the person to them.
Cut to fifty-two ovaries forming the biggest circle of emotion in Hollywood. Garland tells Ciamar that she's the most beautiful woman. "You are like the epitome of a woman." Ciamar is touched. T.V. looks on jealously and nods.
Alexandra is hugging Jessica as Jessica says that each girl is "so unique." She points at Cheaza and says, "And you are amazing." The camera pans over and you can see the moment when Baby assumes that Jessica is talking about her and then realizes she's pointing just to the right of her.
Alexandra tells us that Christina is the quiet one of the group, but she got to know her on the trip over and she knows how much this audition means to her and how she needs it more than any of the other girls. Christina wipes her tears as she listens. Alexandra says she hopes she was able to help her by being there for her.
"You know what?" Ivette interrupts. "You're gonna be somewhere! You're gonna be somewhere!" I think she's talking about Christina, but it's hard to tell.
Rosanna turns and says, "Cheaza." Cheaza is already crying and laughing. "Look at me," Rosanna says. "You have the most glorious voice." The Scarytwin looks jealous. Rosanna thanks Cheaza for her energy and passion. Rosanna tells everyone that she thinks they're extremely special. Shaunda wipes her tears. Nicole watches with her eyes brimming.
Okay, look, so this episode fell on a particularly shitty night, right? And I was feeling sorry for myself and all stupid and sad and shit, so at this point I was pretty much bawling. All of y'all can just shut up. There was too much estrogen. I couldn't resist for that long. I'm just one person! They have dreams and passions, you guys! They yearn and work hard and want this so bad, and all of them are just going to get closer and closer and then get all of those dreams shattered. Even if they do make it to the final five, they're going to find out that being in a pop band isn't everything they've always wanted. All of them are just going to be disappointed and pissed and sad and miserable and then their fifteen minutes will have been wasted on the WB. It's fucking pathetic, and I couldn't stop crying at the tragedy of it all.
Cheaza thinks for a second, and then comes up with something nice about Baby: she's a cool roommate. Baby sneers, because she wanted to hear how talented she is. Cheaza starts to break down again, saying that Baby is like a sister she's never had (which I think is pushing it after only knowing her two days) and Baby sort of pats her on the back. Cheaza thanks everyone and tells them to keep their dreams alive. Everyone claps.
They tease us with clips of girls as they say that six are about to go home, but it's not even the right six, so I'm just cutting straight to the Tiny Squares of Girls and Fun.
The girls are now waiting in another room, all sitting there nervous, waiting to find out if they made it.
Alexis goes first. Roger, Travis, and the Hyphentwins smile at her. Alexis pulls up her purple halter so that the fringe dangles just around her bellybutton, and sits down. Travis congratulates her for getting this far. They ask her to come back tomorrow. "Oh, yes!" Alexis smiles.
Outside, Alexis dances in front of the girls. "I told you!" Alexandra yells. One girl claps.
Jessica Robinson is . Jaymes tells her that she's not fitting in with what their specific needs are. They don't ask her back.
Outside, Jessica hugs a few girls goodbye.
Camille Guaty is on the chair. Jennifer says that they are happy with her performance and that they are going to ask her back. Camille starts crying instantly and says she thought she wasn't going to be asked back. "We need a Kleenex box in this room!" Jaymes bitches. They ask Camille why she thought she'd be cut. Camille says something through her tears that I can't understand -- something about not being there for the pick-up. Travis says she needs to concentrate and not let her nerves get the best of her. Camille smiles and thanks them.
Baby Norman. Roger Love says, "I'm super happy about telling you that you're gonna stay!" Baby fakes, "You're kidding me!" She slaps her face and laughs, knowing she's had them in the palm of her hand from day one.
We're told that Kerrie is staying as well. Garland hugs her.
Katie Morris is cut. Since we never heard much from her anyway, it's hard to get emotional.
"Isadelle is coming back." She gets a hug from Kerrie.
"So is Crystal." As Crystal smiles and holds her face, we can hear Jaymes in the background telling her she needs to work harder.
Mollie Zimpfer is told she hasn't been "coming up" to the place they want to see her. She's cut. ["No shit. She looks like a caveman." -- Wing Chun]
Ivette sits in the chair. Travis tells her she's done a good job. The narrator tells us that Ivette has been improving from the beginning. Well, given her first audition, Ivette really had only one direction in which to go, anyway. Ivette is already crying before they tell her. Travis says they want her to come back and he laughs. Ivette cutes from around her Kleenex, "Thank you so much!" ["She's adorable! I am smitten." -- Wing Chun]
Rosanna nods confidently to the girls outside. She's been called back.
Cheaza shuts the door and gives a "Woo!" to the girls. She's been called back.
Oh, sweet Curtisha. They cut her. "We wish you continued success," Travis says. Outside, the girls instantly rush to console her. She cries and Shaunda holds her face. "Don't forget that you still have a plan," she says to her. Curtisha wipes her face and says she needs to leave. The other girls cry and tell her she probably needs to get some fresh air. They watch her leave.
Nikki is in another girl's lap, holding a picture of her son. Inside the room, Jaymes works her black evil magic: "Do you think there's any possible way...that...your babysitter...can take care of your kid for another night?" Nikki says, "Definitely."
Petagay is also called back. She hugs Roger.
Ana Maria is also called back. She hugs Alexis.
"Ciamar was a tough one," the narrator says. Ciamar is full of tears and pouts. Roger says, "It's been a great road, but it's just not gonna work in the future." I know what all of those words mean, but not in that order. Ciamar turns her tears to Travis as he says, "We're so sorry it's not this. But, good luck with everything." Ciamar smiles, but quickly changes to death-daggers as Jaymes drones, "We know we'll see you again though...doing...something."
Outside, fifteen girls pile on Ciamar to console her. Ciamar gets the final word: "That same station that has that damn little frog."
Jean is coming back, infuriating her mother.
Margaux is also called back. ["That shocked me." -- Wing Chun]
"Shaunda is happy." I hate the narrator.
"As is Nicole."
"Garland Gerber will be coming back." Garland cries and hugs Kerrie in the hallway.
T.V. is also called back, which is just amazing. Oh, the tummy. The navel ring. I had not seen her secret weapons before.
Keitha Lind is asked back.
They ask Christina back. She smiles and says yes.
Alexandra sits down. Jennifer says, "We are gonna go ahead and...send you home." Alexandra smiles and nods. "That's fine," she says. "Yeah," Jennifer agrees. Alexandra keeps smiling: "I don't have a problem with that at all. I am like, very grateful for you guys bringing me here, giving me a chance and I wish you the best of luck. You have a bunch of awesome girls."
Outside, Alexandra is gang-mobbed by girls trying to console her. She yells from deep inside the flesh, "I don't care, you guys!" She says she's happy and she wants to see her boyfriend. "I'm gonna give him a big ol' kiss!" She smiles and walks off.
The first part of the workshop is now over. The narrator recaps the past fifteen minutes, with footage we've already seen, sometimes six times (Alexandra shaking her head is starting to lose any sort of meaning).
week: the last of the workshop. All sorts of crying. Christina says she's scared. Ivette gives a huge monologue about how she looks at her roommate and thinks about how she might not be there tomorrow, or that she herself might not be there tomorrow. Five will "have their hearts broken" at the end of week's show. Petagay tells Kerrie to keep it cool. The remaining fifteen will be "primped and pampered" for a live performance for the judges at -- oh, dear Lord -- the Viper Room. Johnny Depp, get your ass back from France and put a stop to this mess. I wish I had lived here when this was happening. After that performance, another five get cut. You can totally see in this clip who is still around, by the way. This leaves ten left at the end of week's show.
After Popstars, the nightly news had an interview with cut L.A. Popstar hopeful Katie Morris. She got to talk more here than the four weeks of being on the show. "I totally expected it to, especially being a singer in L.A. and seeing the type of competitive vibe here. But all of the girls, we were...we became really good friends. The girls cried the most probably when their friend got cut. Do you know what I'm saying? You really wanted...we really wanted all the girls to make it. And um, even the judges. It's their job to be professional and their job to say, 'Okay, we want you and you.' I saw them crying. I saw them crying when their favorites got, you know, taken away. Whoever you are, whether you're an actress or a singer, you have to handle rejection to survive in this industry. And if they can pick theirselves [sic] up from it and dry their tears and try again, it's gonna be great for them." The anchorwoman then cuts in and tells us that Katie is "very articulate" and that she "travels around and gives motivational speeches on the internet about, um, putting your best foot forward, how to promote yourself." It's exhausting being an internet traveler. Sometimes I'm not home for weeks. "So, go to her website. Katie.com, uh, KatieMorris.com and, uh, you'll be able to check it out." That's some fine reporting there, peeps. My favorite part about Katie's website is the lyrics section, where you can see that Katie takes well-known song titles and writes new songs for them. Like Madonna's using "Crazy For You" anymore these days. Brilliant, Katie.