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Elaine starts out the day feeling a bit down because it's time for her to resign as Secretary of State. To Elaine's surprise, Garcetti refuses to accept her resignation. Having been made fully aware of his current Veep's underhanded nature, he asks Elaine to run with him in two years. In the meantime, she would stay on in her current position. She's stunned, but says they'll discuss the issue right after he gets back from his overseas trip. Unfortunately, in all the hubbub of T.J. coming home, Elaine doesn't tell Doug about the possible change of plans and he turns the letter over to Susan. She promises not to run it until after the formal announcement, but then makes the mistake of showing the letter to Georgia.
Georgia wants to go to press immediately. When Susan refuses, Georgia goes to Alex. Alex sides with Georgia until Susan admits she slept with her source. It's so scandalous that, if discovered, would topple the paper. Alex kills the story, but Georgia goes to their editor-in-chief and claims that Alex is slighting her because they're sleeping together and he doesn't want his favoritism to show. Susan is just so very touched that her cheating dog of an ex-boyfriend did something decent by falling on the sword for her.
Before Alex kills the story, though, Doug flies into a panic. Everyone will know he's the one who leaked the letter and his political career will be dead. He confesses to his mother, whose response is to turn on the famous Elaine Barrish ice machine. Doug blows up at her with 30 years of pent-up frustration and flounces out of town to elope with Anne.
Elaine's day is about to start looking up, though, because Air Force One has just crashed off the French coast. Despite the lack of official confirmation that Garcetti is dead, Vice President Collier wants to step into his shoes ASAP. Elaine talks him into taking less drastic action, but he's already acting like he's got the job. The nation is in shock and there are a thousand things Elaine could be doing, but she decides to crash Doug and Anne's wedding instead. Everyone is so happy and lighthearted! It's smiles all around! Bud is already in planning mode, plotting out Elaine's future run against Collier. She doesn't state outright that she'll run, but her smile suggests she's just as eager as Bud. Stay tuned for the full weecap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Elaine wakes up in the morning and gets dressed as if for a funeral. Gone are the lavender puff sleeves and the skirts that look as though they were made from a motel bedspread. She wears all black and sits down to compose her resignation letter by hand. As she writes about her loyal staff, the scene cuts briefly to Doug returning home to his sleeping fiancée. As she writes about the problems she'll leave behind, the scene changes to Bud and T.J. leaving the hospital amid the clamor of waiting reporters. She writes about the nation's reputation and we see Susan sharing her young niece's very pink bedroom.
We hear the end of the letter from Doug as he reads it aloud later in her office. It talks about not sharing the President's values, which is going to sound strange to the public after they were basically unified over the Chinese sub rescue. Their "parting of the ways," as Elaine puts it, would probably make more sense if we'd actually seen real strife between them. From what little we've seen, Garcetti always ended up going along with her. Plus, did she seriously expect to always agree with the President? Doug thinks the letter is great and goes off to show it to the Under Secretaries.
The little weasel then runs straight to a public park to hand over a copy to Susan. How is nobody noticing this? It's like when Clark Kent frets over people discovering his secret identity as if he doesn't already constantly reveal himself to perfect strangers. They stand around talking about how sleeping together was a mistake. Susan gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye, Douglas. You're still a good guy. Even if you betrayed your mom, screwed around on your fiancée... somehow you are still a good guy." Doug stands around looking guilty and dumb as Susan walks away.
Susan goes back to the office and shows the letter to Georgia. Georgia, of course, wants to go to press with it immediately. Susan explains all the reasons why they should wait. Something about credibility and crafting a story and blah, blah, blah. Georgia blinks and smiles and pretends to go along with it.
Elaine meets Garcetti on the tarmac to Air Force One and gives him the letter. "I'll leave the timing of the announcement to you, sir," she says. They talk about Collier's blackmail. Elaine hears for the first time that Garcetti wasn't involved, as she'd thought. He tells her about Bud beating up the Veep over the news. "My Bud punched the Vice President?" Elaine asks, a little impressed. "Right up in the Oval," Garcetti says. Sounds... dirty. Garcetti doesn't read Elaine's letter, but writes a simple invitation on the back: "Please run with me." He wants her to be his running mate for his second term. He points out that he signed the invite, just in case something hideously contrived should happen to him and she needed proof of his intentions. He playfully "orders" her to think it over while he's in Paris. She watches him hug his wife and son. She smiles like she's already accepted his offer.
Elaine returns to the townhouse as her mother, Anne and Doug are getting rid of the last of the booze in the house. (Nana pours as much of it down her gullet as she does down the kitchen sink.) Doug presses his mother for news about the resignation. "Do we have a date effective?" he asks. "Let's just get T.J. settled first," she says, because sharing information now would just curtail all the drama later. When Bud shows up with T.J., Doug takes his brother to his new room. T.J. talks about how different they are. He sees himself as the worst of their father and Doug as the best of their mother. Doug insists he's not perfect, but T.J. scoffs. They reminisce over the summers they used to spend at the grandpa's farm. Doug is surprised to learn that both of them slept with T.J.'s tutor the year T.J. came out. T.J. goes on to reveal that he occasionally still sleeps with women just to make sure he's still gay. "Breasts are awesome!" he says. He may or may not be joking. None of these characters are well-defined enough to be able to tell.
Elsewhere in the house, Elaine confronts Bud about his tussle with the Veep. She shows him her letter and Garcetti's offer. "If you say that you planned this, I swear to God I will strangle you." Bud doesn't take try to take credit. "If Garcetti wants you to run with him, it's not 'cause I reminded him what a dickless bastard Collier is," he says. "It's 'cause it's the right thing to do." Elaine prods him for advice. Bud says he thinks Elaine can still beat Garcetti, but that after the sub crisis she no longer wants to. He says she has a habit in seeing the best in flawed men. He reminds her of all the chances she's given him, including their little motel romp a few weeks back.
Much to Susan's shock, Georgia has gone to their editor with news of the resignation letter. "You would burn down this building if it would advance your career half an inch, you stupid little girl!" She practically bursts into tears. Georgia all but laughs at her. "Oh, please, like we are any different." The thing is, they are different. Yes, they are both recklessly ambitious and neither of them is ever going to score big points with their scruples. But it's not Georgia who's acting like the stupid one. Georgia has slept with Susan's boyfriend, tried to cut her out of her own story, bullied her into sharing a byline and repeatedly showed she cares less for integrity than for fame. And yet somehow Susan is surprised whenever Georgia acts... like Georgia. It's plot-necessitated stupidity and it blows. Alex decides to run the letter over Susan's protests.
Susan meets with Doug in the park again to give him the bad news. He knows this means his career and family relationships are basically over. Since he's really the only one who could have given Susan the letter, suspicion will naturally fall on him. He probably should have thought of these things before starting on this road, but whatever. It's plot-necessitated stupidity again. Susan offers to lie and say someone else gave her the letter, but Doug has enough guts left to turn her down.
T.J. tries to leave the townhouse, but his mother's security agent has been given orders to keep him inside. T.J. tries to reason with Nana, but she snarks about him trying to score some drugs, so he snarks back about her being a hypocritical drunk. They have a tearful heart-to-heart about T.J. needing to make a choice or fight for his future or whatever. I was sympathetic to his storyline, but I'm kind of over it now.
Doug tells his mother that Susan is writing a story about her presidential aspirations. She has the donor list, the poll data from Jubal... and the resignation letter. "I'm the source," he says. "I thought that another run would destroy this family and I didn't think you had a chance of winning." He says once they got the poll numbers, he tried to put a stop to the story. What they never really explain is why he thought a successful run wouldn't also destroy their family. Did he just not care once he realized he would get to be White House Chief of Staff? Elaine is flabbergasted. "Everyone will know it came from you," she says. "Tell me. Just how, exactly did you think this would end?" He gets kind of shouty and desperate about how his worst nightmare is letting his mother down. It's like he and his brother both somehow got frozen at age 14 or so and just never really advanced beyond that. Elaine gathers herself up and gets back to work. "You should go," she says. Doug pouts about getting "the famous Elaine Barrish ice-out" and flounces out of her office in a whirlwind of butthurt. Elaine stares at his retreating form like, "What the shit just happened here?"
Doug goes home and talks Anne into eloping with him. He's desperate, but she probably takes it as that fiery passion that's been missing from their relationship.
Night. Elaine meets with Susan at the zoo outside the elephant enclosure. Elaine quietly accuses Susan of using her and Susan accuses her of the same. Susan doesn't really have the right to feel like the wronged party, but I'll never get through this weecap if I stop to point out every wrong thing in this episode. Elaine asks her not to run the story because it will destroy Doug. "Besides," she says, "none of it is true anymore." Elaine decides to trust Susan even though she has no reason to. She tells Susan that she's going to run with Garcetti instead of against him. Susan is baffled. Elaine explains about her troubled sons. They may be adults, but they're still her children. "It's not the right time to take on my boss or my party," she says. "I am their mother first."
Susan pleads with Alex again not to run the story, but she gains no ground with him. Finally, she admits she slept with Douglas and suggests it may be why he gave her the letter. Alex is aghast. He says the scandal would ruin the already-suffering paper. She expects him to fire her over it, but he sends her back to her office.
Moments after returning home, Elaine is surrounded by her security agents. "There's been an accident," Clark says.
Susan, back in her office, catches sight of Georgia and Alex arguing. He's killing the story. Georgia threatens to go to the editor-in-chief, much like Susan did in 1997. Susan doesn't have long to reflect on the similarity when cries of shock go up around the office. Everyone has gathered around a TV for a breaking news report. Air Force One has apparently hit a massive pocket of contrivance on its approach to France and crashed into the ocean. A search and rescue mission is underway. Among the presumed dead? Any chance at a decent story. The show aimed for shocking and plunged instead into ridiculous and cheap.
In her office, Elaine gets a Skype call from the French president. Ah, product placement. It brings together nations in their most tragic hour. They coordinate their efforts and offer condolences. Barry, who has spent most of these six episodes sniping at Elaine, is suddenly grateful to have her there. He says Collier is in the Oval Office with the Chief Justice, preparing to take the Oath even though Garcetti's body hasn't yet been found. Even vultures wait for a body. Elaine springs into action.
Collier is in the middle of getting his TV makeup done when Elaine bursts into the office. She manages (just barely) to talk Collier into taking the less drastic action of assuming the role of Acting President. Collier says he'll write a letter to Congress at once, but Elaine's already written the letter for him and had it signed by all the members of the Cabinet. Collier asks her to stay in her current post, even though it looks like he's currently swallowing shards of glass. "I think the nation needs to see unity," he says. Translation: Don't go against me in public.
Alex loses his job over the resignation letter debacle. Georgia told their editor-in-chief that Alex has been denying her bylines in order to cover up his "inappropriate sexual relationship" with her. Susan says she'll explain to their boss what really happened, but Alex turns her down. "I told you, the paper would not survive that kind of scandal," he says. "You're not protecting the paper," she says. "You're protecting me." She looks at him like maybe he's kind of awesome, but as he points out, he wouldn't be in this position if he hadn't slept with Georgia in the first place.
Elaine gets a call from Anne's parents about the stupid eloping plot and calls Bud with the news. Nobody has any idea where the lovebirds could have gone, until T.J. remembers all their reminiscing about Grandpa Hammond's farm. Elaine decides to head home for some reason. Like, she'll stick around to watch every detail of the Chinese sub rescue, but she's going to cut out for the POTUS search? On her way out, she runs into Susan, who tells her the resignation story is dead. She says her not-so-awful ex-boyfriend killed the story. They talk about Doug and Anne eloping and Susan's "special bond" with him... and why are they talking about any of this when the President is currently floundering in the ocean? How is any of this important right now? How is it at all important that Susan seems kind of devastated by the elopement? Elaine asks Susan to come with her to France the following night. Susan's running out of people to have sex with on that plane, but she accepts anyway.
The day, Doug and Anne are just starting their wedding vows when, to their surprise, a caravan of SUVs arrives. T.J., Nana, Elaine, Bud and a host of Secret Service agents spill out. Inappropriately cheerful music plays. Elaine cries and apologizes to Doug and everything is fine again. For now. Somehow, everybody's outfits are perfectly coordinated. Elaine offers some sake in case Anne wants to do some traditional Shinto thing. Doug has to politely point out to his mother -- this woman who speaks a dozen languages and deals in international etiquette and protocol all day, every day -- that she's being kind of racist. Stupid and unnecessary levity. Bud takes over performing the ceremony while everyone smiles like it's the happiest day ever. Meanwhile, President Garcetti is being devoured by sharks.
As the day turns to night, T.J. plays the piano and Doug dances with his new bride. Bud and Elaine have a chat some distance away from the rest of the celebrants. They chitchat for as long as Bud can stand and then he broaches the subject of politics. He's already looking forward to getting Collier out of office. "Oh, sure, his numbers will spike with all the good will following this," he says. "But he'll squander it like the dumb shit-eating turtle he is." Elaine makes a weak attempt at propriety by reminding him the President has only just died, but Bud doesn't back down because it's not like Elaine was even serious. He says the nation will need strong leadership and they won't get it from Collier. "Now, you tell me you're gonna do something about this," he says. "Just say it. Say the words. Say you're gonna run." She looks at him for a long time. She doesn't say the words, but she smiles and it's not a rueful smile at all. None of these people deserve to be in office, but I suppose it's a rare politician who does.
Email Tippi Blevins at b_tippi@yahoo.com, or find her on Twitter - @TippiB.
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