By DeAnn Welker
We start out with Nude Caviezel in love. Okay, wait, this isn't the show I signed up for. Not that I'm complaining or anything... But he loses the woman he's with, and becomes shaggy Jesus Caviezel (a la The Passion of the Christ), on a subway in New York. He basically karate chops a very deserving group of privileged punks on the subway, and ends up at the police department talking to Taraji P. Henson. When she heads to the lab to learn that Jesus's fingerprints have been found at half a dozen crime scenes and that there are open warrants for him in four countries, some bigwig lawyer comes in and busts him out. He wonders who's picking up the tab, and the lawyer and some other suits take him directly to Ben Linus.
Ben calls Jesus "Mr. Reese" (but since his brute strength and power must come from God, I'm sticking with Jesus), but promises not tell anyone everything he knows about him: the work he used to do for the government, the doubts he came to have about that work, that the government and everyone else thinks he's dead, that he's been trying to drink himself to death and even contemplating more efficient ways. Ben's name is "Mr. Finch." He wants to give Jesus a purpose. And by "purpose," he means "job." Finch tells Jesus about all the people who die every day in New York City, and wonders: What if they could stop murders -- not the ones in the heat of the moment, but the ones that are planned days and weeks in advance? Finch shows Jesus a woman named Diane Hansen, who's on his list of people about to be involved in a crime. He doesn't know if she's the victim or perpetrator; all he knows is she's involved and that Jesus must follow her to stop it from happening. So, yes, he's asking creepy-looking Jesus Caviezel to follow a cute young thing (Natalie Zea). Jesus refuses this tempting offer, kicks Finch's suits' asses and leaves.
He goes back to a hotel room (a fairly nice one considering his status as a homeless drunk) and shaves himself into Sexy Caviezel. Then he drinks himself to sleep and the phone rings. It's Finch -- duh! -- who lures him back with promises of being able to save people, like he couldn't do with his "friend," Jessica (the woman he was Nude Caviezel with in the opening). He takes Jesus to his secret lair and shows him his list of Social Security numbers (that's all he gets), but won't give him any more information.
Jesus starts looking into her -- by hacking, stalking, trespassing, and basically becoming a giant creeping stalker, literally lurking in the background of her life. It works, though, since he quickly narrows the suspects to another district attorney, Wheeler, with whom Diane has some sort of romantic history; and the guy she's currently prosecuting, Lawrence Pope, who's on trial for killing his friends in a drug deal gone bad. Pope eventually ends up dead, and Diane doesn't trust Wheeler, which convinces Finch and Jesus that he's bad.
In a flashback, we learn that clean-cut Jesus quit his job as a special forces ranger of some type in order to be with his girl, Jessica. At the very moment he tells her this, Sept. 11, 2001, occurs, and they both sit up in bed to watch.
Jesus takes time out from future-crime-solving to tell Finch how frustrating it is not to know what's going on. Finch limps through Central Park as he explains how this all goes back to 9/11, after which Finch created a super-secret security system for the government to find terrorists. The list of Social Security numbers is just the irrelevant (non-terrorist) information that Finch manages to sneak out of the system every day.
Jesus follows Diane Hansen -- to protect her -- and quickly learns she's Queen Bee of the bad cops, and Wheeler's the guy who's onto her devious ways. Jesus lets his guard down while his shock wears off at being wrong, giving one of the bad cops time to point a gun at his head. She tells them to "take care of him" and to get rid of Wheeler tonight. One of the corrupt cops, Fuscoe, drives Jesus out into the desert to presumably kill him. Jesus makes his escape, but not before telling Fuscoe he will let him live so he has someone on the inside.
The corrupt cops show up at Wheeler's and see Wheeler's young son is with him, but that doesn't change anything: They'll just kill the kid, too. You know, in case you didn't know they were really, really bad. Jesus steps in between the cops and Wheeler, but bad cop Stills doesn't relent, and makes a lot of threats. So Jesus kills him. (See why it's fun to call him "Jesus"? So I can say total nonsense such as that.)
He still has to get Diane Hansen, though, which he does by subbing a recording of her telling the cops to take care of Wheeler with a testimony recording, so she ends up airing her confession in court.
Jesus and Finch have a heart to heart in the end, and decide to keep doing this thing, even if it kills them (which it might). Taraji P. Henson arrests one of the bad cops Jesus let go; all she wants to know is more about Jesus. Because she's obsessed. Must be his eyes.