Previously on Party of Five: Julia told Bailey that his alcoholism was not their parents' fault. It was about the alcohol. Period. Bailey decided that meant he was okay to drive, and spun out his jeep (again), and ended up hitting a light pole.
The show starts immediately post-accident. Bailey is sitting there staring straight ahead, hands gripping the wheel. We hear a spooky echo-y voice-over of Bailey saying to Julia, "We had these parents...these parents...these parents" while we see footage of the accident again. There is a flash of bright light. Are the paparazzi there taking pictures? Suddenly, instead of an accident, there is a near miss. Neither car involved is Bailey's car. One of the cars contains a couple, who are talking about how they almost just got in an accident. If it weren't for the closed captioning telling me the couple was "Nick and Diana", I never would have figured out that this was supposed to be Bailey envisioning what would have happened if his parents didn't die. Well, that and all the previews that talked about how this episode is an alternate reality. Nick and Diana discuss if they should go home as the other car takes off. They decide that they rarely get a night out, and "Charlie's already there with Owen and Claud", so they should continue their evening out.
Suddenly, we cut to Bailey and Will in a car. Bailey has blond hair, so we know it's alternate reality Bailey. Will looks the same, except he's wearing a hat. They apparently just missed getting in an accident as well. That seems to be going around. Will and Bailey ascertain that they are both okay, and then Will punches Bailey saying, "You moron! You ran a red light!" Bailey gets out of the car, arguing that the light was yellow. Will says he's going to go see how the other car is. Bailey stops him, saying that the other car is fine and that if Will goes over there, and the people in the other car smell beer on his breath, they'll call the cops. Bailey will lose his license and his mom and dad will kill him. Another hint that it's alternate reality -- Bailey has a mom and dad. As if the hair wasn't a big enough clue. Before Will makes up his mind, the other car pulls away. Bailey chuckles and kind of hugs Will and says, "Let's get out of here." The driver of the other car leans out the window and yells back at them, "Everybody wants to be closer to free."
Julia is talking to Joe at the restaurant. She's worried about the amount of people coming to her parents' surprise 31st anniversary party. Joe reassures her that everything will be fine. Alternate reality Julia has much better hair than regular Julia does. It's long and she's wearing it in a braid. Maybe it's not as trendy, but she also doesn't look like Carol Brady. Jan maybe, but not Carol. There's a commotion (the captioning literally said "commotion") as Charlie and Bailey walk in. Bailey explains they couldn't find place cards and wonders where they were supposed to get them. Julia says they could've gone to the store she put on their list. The boys look at each other and say, "The list!" From this we can deduce that alternate reality Charlie and Bailey are irresponsible and alternate reality Julia is a bit of a nag. Joe says he hasn't seen Charlie in a while as Charlie sits on the back of the booth. So, now we know that alternate reality Charlie doesn't frequent the restaurant, and was raised in a barn. Also, he wears a black leather coat. Julia wonders why they are even meeting since they will blow off their tasks and she will end up doing everything herself at the last minute. She suggests that the boys just go home and let her handle it. I told you she was a nag. Bailey gets a beer for himself and one for Charlie. Charlie is down with Julia doing everything, but Bailey and Joe protest. Charlie says he doesn't feel like getting "yelled at for forty-five minutes". I want to warn you that I might have a little residual bitterness here, because I planned a surprise twenty-fifth anniversary party for my parents and my brother did not help much, so I know where Julia's coming from. Granted, that was eight years ago, but I'm still kind of bitter. Anyway, Charlie wonders why they are even doing this since it's their 31st anniversary, and Julia reminds him of "last year's debacle". Charlie says the party was fine, and Julia says it was "beer and pizza on paper plates". Class-ay! Bailey says it "was kinda lame, man" and Charlie points out that Bailey helped him plan it. This causes Bailey to change his tune and say that it was great since there was "plenty of beer". Hey, do you think alternate reality Bailey likes to drink beer? Because I didn't get that from the fact that he was drinking and driving in the first scene, and drinking and planning in this one. I hope they give us some more clues before the episode is over. Julia yells at her brothers for their lack of gratitude for all their parents have done for them.
Someone calls hello from the entrance. It's Claudia, wearing a hat and carrying luggage. She claims she's been "standing out there for hours". Julia looks surprised to see her. Claudia says the front door was locked and she tried calling "like twenty-five times". Joe wonders what number she called, since they've been in there the whole time. I'm wondering why she couldn't bang on the door or wave through the window or something. Or go in the back door. Claudia hands Joe a piece of paper with the number on it, and Joe tells her the number was changed a year ago and wonders where she's been. Claudia says wearily, "Where haven't I been?" as she hugs everyone. Julia yells at her for messing up the plan after Julia "faxed [her] the details". Alternate reality Julia is annoying. So is regular Julia, though. Claudia says her "tour ended early" and she missed her family. Julia says she's glad to see her sister (could've fooled me!) but now they have to hide her for two days so it will be a surprise for her parents. Claudia says that someone must have "some floor space". Bailey, Charlie and Joe kind of look at each other. Claudia adds, "Besides Julia?" Julia gives a martyred look.
Julia enters her apartment and says, "Have you seen my poli sci notes?" A male voice asks her how her meeting was. Julia says her brothers are acting like the party was her idea. Male voice asks whose idea it was. Julia says that's not the point. She enters the bedroom area of the apartment (it's kind of a studio) and we see the owner of the male voice lying on the bed, reading Julia's poli sci notes -- it's Justin! Julia jumps on him, saying, "You are so dead! You didn't do the reading!" Justin replies, "But my fiancée did, and she's a genius." I see all men fall prey to the wiles of alternate reality Julia too. Julia smiles and thinks, "I am a genius, aren't I?" Justin says it seems weird to say fiancée, but they will have to get used to it because they are going to announce their engagement at the party. Dude, way to steal someone else's moment. I don't expect any less from either Julia, I guess. Julia surprises the shit out of me by saying that maybe they don't want to "upstage them". Justin considers that while Julia lays down to him, and he tells her that although they're not supposed to know this, Mrs. Salinger told Justin's mom that she's been "praying for [them] to get engaged before [they] all go to Italy together summer." Well, aren't we cozy? Julia wonders if they are doing this for their parents or for themselves. Justin rolls on top of her and says, "Just as long as we're doing it, I don't care." Ew. The phone rings. Julia says she's going to be late for class. Justin agrees. The answering machine picks up and it's all cutesy Julia and Justin telling the caller to leave a message. The caller is Julia's mom, reminding her to take the car into the shop. Julia and Justin listen, but keep kissing. Then Diana starts talking about a hotel reservation in Italy. Justin rolls over and picks up the phone to correct her, because she made the reservation in the wrong city. Julia rolls her eyes. The captioning says something bizarre about a "horse race where they kidnap and brutalize the jockeys". The hell?
Bailey, Will and Claudia walk into an apartment, the central feature of which is a large pyramid of beer cans on the coffee table. Claudia wrinkles her nose as Bailey announces they are "home sweet home". Claudia says she didn't know Bailey smoked, and asks if dad or his coach know. Bailey claims they aren't his. Claudia tells Will she didn't know he smoked. Will says, "That's because I don't, Claude. Because I have a functioning brain." He pointedly slaps Bailey on the shoulder. Seriously, are those two a couple? Bailey claims he only smokes once in a while, when he drinks. Claudia says that judging by the pyramid on the table, he must be "up to five packs a day". Bailey says he knows Claudia disapproves and Claudia says, "envy is more like it". Claudia envies Bailey's freedom because if she wants to "smoke or drink or mash with some cellist from Holland", she has to drug her chaperone first. Who says mash anymore? Is this alternate reality in the 1950s or something? I bet the writer of that line also came up with the "extra-currics" thing. Bailey says that his life is all planned out for him too, and that his dad has him working at the restaurant three nights a week. Bailey, perhaps if you asked nicely, Claudia might pull out her violin and play "My Heart Cries For You". Work three nights a week while you are in college? I shudder at the thought. Claudia claims that working at the restaurant means "free beer" and plus the money he makes "doesn't go into some trust". Bailey says that when he graduates, his dad expects him to start working there full time so that "in four-point-five years, I can take over and he can retire". I'm still not feeling sorry for him. Will looks like he agrees with me. Claudia suggests he try saying no. Bailey claims it's not that easy, and reminds her of how "ugly it got with Charlie". Will says, "Bailey will find the courage". Bailey gives him the "ixnay on the ansplay" look, but Will says, "You have to, right?" Bailey whispers, "Not now!" I hope they don't have a lovers' quarrel. These two have more chemistry than Bailey and Sarah ever had! Claudia asks what they are talking about, and Bailey says nothing and then gives Will another pointed look, like "I'll deal with you later, big boy".
Julia is standing at a counter in some business, looking for someone to help her. She rings the bell and calls out, and then turns to leave. I'm guessing it's a mechanic's shop, since there are hubcaps hanging on the walls. Just before she leaves, someone walks out of the back -- it's Griffin, wearing a bandanna on his head. Julia gives her name and Griffin looks her up in the appointment book and says, "Oh yeah, the one who goes to Stanford." Julia is embarrassed that her mom told him that and Griffin says she's proud, and then asks about the car. Julia says it's making a squeaking noise, but that she can barely hear it "when [her] CD player's on". In case you missed it, alternate reality Julia is a bit spoiled. Griffin asks if the noise is more of a squeal or a chirp, and Julia starts making the noise. For a really long time. Griffin turns to look at her, somewhat frightened but somewhat amused, because no one can resist the charms of Julia, no matter what reality we are in. Julia apologizes for her geekiness and Griffin tells her it's no big deal. They share a moment, and Julia gets all flustered and goes to leave. Griffin says he'll call her about the car. Before she gets out the door, he calls her back in and tells her he'll need a phone number to call her.
Charlie "Mack Daddy" Salinger is entertaining a fly, young thing in his crib. She asks him about the food and he tells her his dad taught him how to cook since he owns a restaurant. We see an architectural model in the foreground. Charlie seats his woman in front of a roaring fire and prepares to lay the moves on her. He's wearing a really ugly polyester shirt with some god-awful pattern on it. He should've stuck to the black leather jacket. Anyway, he starts telling her about his "designs" and how he wants to build a "spec house" and how the "painting and construction is just to pay the bills" and how he was up until three in the morning thinking about a "ceiling problem". The pretty young thing stops him and tells him she saw his models a week ago and nothing has changed on them. D'oh! Busted! Charlie says, "What?" like he doesn't know what she's talking about. She tells him she's sure he's going to be "a big architect" some day, but even if not she "didn't come here to make it with Frank Lloyd Wright", she came here to "make it with [Charlie]." Ew! What a cheeseball! Who says, "make it"? Based on Charlie's wardrobe, I think this alternate reality is about 1976. They start making out, and there is a knock at the door. Charlie and Cheeseball ignore it until a female voice calls out, "Charlie! It's me, Felicia! Your truck's outside. I know you're in there". Charlie reluctantly breaks off and goes to answer the door. He tells Felicia it's not a good time, and she agrees. He asks if they can do it later, and she interrupts him to say, "I'm pregnant." Charlie steps out in the hall, shuts the door and says, "What?" Felicia replies, "I was late. I peed on a stick. I'm pregnant." Felicia says she's going to talk to someone tomorrow, and she'd like Charlie to be there. He claims to be "jammed up", but she gives him the address and the time, and repeats that she'd like him to be there, and then walks away. Charlie looks uncomfortable.
Julie and Claudia are shopping in a Victoria's Secret type store. Claudia is talking about a "digital scrapbook" with information about her albums on a "DVD type thing" and that she has to sneak into the house to get her old scrapbook so she can get it scanned before the party. Julia picks up a pair of pajamas and says they are "kind of Mom, right?" Claudia looks at them and says they look like something her chaperone would wear. She claims their mom is "more vital, more sensual, more...this" as she picks up a flimsy black thing. Julia scoffs. This alternate reality keeps jumping decades, because now Julia is in the late 1960s, wearing a long skirt and poncho. Claudia keeps at it, saying that their dad would love it. Julia doesn't want to talk about her parents' sex life, and claims that people don't really wear "stuff like that". Claudia says, "If you say so" kind of smugly as she hangs it back up. Julia follows her, asking her what she meant. Claudia says she doesn't wear them "all the time", just "for special occasions". Julia still doesn't get it, and asks what special occasions those might be. Claudia gets tired of hinting around and says, "I don't know, like SEX." Julia is all "You've had sex?" and Claudia is all "Don't you read my e-mails?" and Julia is all "With who -- whom?" like she can't even use incorrect grammar when she's in shock, like when would be a better time to use it? Claudia asks if she wants "names and dates" and Julia is shocked that there are names and dates. Claudia claims it was just "a couple of guys" and Julia is shocked some more and whispers, "You've had sex with different people?" Claudia says she's "been on the road a long time" and that Julia must have done the same thing in high school. Julia reminds her that she was with Justin in high school. Claudia clarifies, "Before that" and Julia gives her a look that lets her know that there was no "before that". Claudia says, "Really? Wow." Julia looks kind of wounded and Claudia rushes to say that it's amazing, and that Julia and Justin are "just like mom and dad" and that she's lucky to have "found her soulmate early" while everyone else is "flailing around, trying to catch up." Julia doesn't look like she feels very lucky. I have the feeling she's about to get lucky though. See what I did there?
Will is rocking out with a guitar to some music on the stereo. Bailey runs in with a second guitar and tries to hand it off. Will waves him away. Bailey goes and crouches behind the couch, and then Will waves him over. Bailey apparently screws up the timing and Will stops the music. He tells Bailey that "the change comes on the downbeat" and that he's done it "a thousand times right" but "the last three times", Bailey has screwed it up. Will says that whatever made Bailey "not tell Claudia" is still bugging him. Bailey claims that he didn't tell Claudia because "two seconds later", his parents would know. Will says that his parents need to know that he's leaving school. Bailey lights up a cigarette, because alternate reality Bailey is bad, and only bad people are allowed to smoke on television. Will reminds Bailey that he's on academic probation, so his parents must know something is up. Bailey is silent, and Will figures out that Bailey intercepted the notice. Bailey claims he wanted to tell them himself. Will points out that they're "hitting the road, day after tomorrow". Bailey says they won't be if they don't "get the gig". Will says it's a lock, and Bailey says it's not if they "blow the tryout". Will warns him not to blow it on purpose, just so he doesn't have to "face his old man". Who calls their father their "old man"? I swear, this show needs to update their slang. Will points out that this was all Bailey's idea. Bailey says he isn't sure anymore if he wants to be a roadie. They're trying out to be roadies? Are there really tryouts? I honestly don't know, but it seems weird that there are tryouts. Anyway, Bailey says it's not his life's dream, and Will says it's not supposed to be. It was supposed to be a way for them to get out on their own, and he thought that's what Bailey wanted. I would like to point out that at this point in the episode, I still thought it was going to turn out that Bailey and Will were lovers. I still think it would have been a cool twist.
Claudia and Ross (her violin teacher) are walking down the street, drinking coffee. Claudia is listing off all the cities coming up on her tour, and carrying a rose. Ross tells her it sounds incredible. Claudia is wondering what would happen if she just stopped. A mime dressed like Bicentennial Man walks behind them and starts doing the robot on a platform. Are there really mimes like that in San Francisco? Creepy! Ross wants to know if Claudia wants to stop touring or recording. Claudia says she wants to stop everything, just for a year or two. Ross is stunned: "A year or two? Claudia, this is what you've been working for your whole life! I thought you were loving it." Claudia says that she has been doing it since she was eleven years old, and she has traveled all over the world and played with amazing people but she misses her family. She misses dinner at the restaurant, and everyone making fun of her for ordering the same thing every week. She and Ross say in unison: "The manicotti". Ross suggests it might just be a matter of slowing down, but Claudia says maybe it's just time she came home. In the background, Bicentennial Man continues miming.
Pregnant Felicia is listening to someone tell her about her options. The camera pans over and we see the woman speaking is Kirsten, wearing a really bad short wig. Kirsten recommends that Felicia not feel pressured. The office door opens and Charlie "Super Sperm" Salinger walks in, saying he thought the appointment started now. Kirsten asks Felicia if this is the baby's father. Charlie says he'll wait outside, but Kirsten says she was just about to go into "the parents' responsibilities if the baby is carried to term". Felicia tries to cut her off, but Charlie says, "If the baby is carried to term? You're thinking about keeping it?" Felicia looks at Kirsten and clarifies, "Putting it up for adoption". Charlie says he's not sure how he feels about that and Felicia says she's not asking him to raise it. Charlie wonders what happens if she changes her mind and keeps it, and that she might expect money from him. Kirsten stands up and points out that Charlie "had unprotected sex and conceived" and that she doesn't "have much patience for men who don't think past their conquest" and think they can "have sex like that and blow off the consequences". Charlie says she doesn't know him and he doesn't need a lecture from her. Kirsten says he actually might, and that he showed up an hour late, "probably on purpose" and starts railing on about how the minute he heard his child's mother might not want to have an abortion...We don't get to hear the rest of that thought because Felicia stands up and says she doesn't "want to do this here" and that she'll take her pamphlets and think. She thanks Kirsten, shakes her hand, and leaves. Charlie follows her out and Kirsten stands there and shakes her head all judgmentally.
Griffin walks into a biker bar. Julia glances around, waits a moment and then follows him in. Cut to Griffin drinking a beer at the bar. Julia walks up and asks the bartender for "change for the pay phone". Griffin doesn't notice her. She says hi to him, and points out that he is "the guy from the garage", in case he didn't know or something. She tries to remind him who she is, and finally after reminding him about the squeak, he shows a glimmer of recognition. Julia babbles about getting change for the pay phone, which the bartender delivers. She asks him if he's been "working on cars long" and Griffin says, "Since high school." Julia asks where he went, and he says, "Grant. Same as you." Julia asks if he was in any of her classes and Griffin says he dropped out. Julia asks why, like it's any of her business. Geez, you'd think she was married to him in some alternate reality. Julia realizes it's none of her business and starts to leave. Griffin asks if she wants a beer. Julia gets all flustered at the mention of beer, and says she has to go. Griffin asks her why she didn't use the phone in the shop. Julia says, "the guy was on it". That was a convincing lie. And, to quote Dorothy Parker, I am the Queen of Romania. Griffin asks which guy, and suggests Sergio, then asks what Sergio said about her car. Julia can't come up with any more lies, and Griffin tells her to forget it and asks if she wants to get out of there, since his place is just around the corner. He gives her the lascivious eyebrows. Julia says that she really did come to use the pay phone. Griffin points it out to her. She gets up to leave and runs into a large tattooed gentleman. Griffin drinks some more beer.
The Flys are playing in concert. In case you didn't recognize them on sight, the name of the band is printed on the bass drum. Will and Bailey are in the wings. Will is all fired up, but Bailey is killing his buzz. Will tells Bailey that he won't let him ruin this just because he doesn't "have the gonads to tell [his] old man". Bailey denies it. Some random guy comes up and hands them each a guitar, saying, "Only ten thousand people. No pressure". Bailey and Will crouch beside the stage and wait for their moment. On cue, they run out onto the stage. Will goes off screen. Bailey crouches behind a half-stack and waits. The actual hand-off happens in slow motion, and is apparently successful. Bailey starts to walk backstage, but stops and stares at the crowd. We get a doubled shot of Bailey's face, interspersed with lights and crowd noise. Is he tripping? I don't get this. Is it like when Cindy Brady was on television and froze whenever the red light came on? Will runs out and pulls Bailey off the stage. The random guy tells them they "didn't screw up too bad". Will asks if Bailey saw the "girl in the front row with bouncy..." and Bailey interrupts to say that this is his life, and he doesn't need to tell anyone, and that they are going to leave on the bus tomorrow. They high five each other and Will dorkily bounces his head to the music.
Bailey is getting himself another beer from the tap, and it's totally time to change the keg because it is barely trickling out. Julia bounces up and asks if that's his lunch. Bailey asks her if she tries to sound like their mom, or if it just happens. Julia asks about Charlie and Bailey says he had a personal crisis and then starts looking at the guest list while Julia unloads crepe paper streamers from a bag. Julia asks about Charlie's personal crisis and then realizes she does sound like her mom. Bailey is worried that "the McGraths" aren't coming to the party because their parents will be "bummed". Julia points out that plenty of their friends are coming. Bailey says their parents don't need any more bad news. Julia asks if he's talking about Claudia. Bailey asks what she means, and Julia says Claudia is dropping out of her tour. Bailey can't believe it and says that their mom will "freak" but "at least we have you and Justin." Julia says her life is not "some party favor" for their parents and she's not going to decide to get married just to make her parents happy. Bailey says that the decision has already been made -- they are just talking about the announcement. Julia says that maybe the decision hasn't been made and that Bailey and Claudia and Charlie "get to do what they want" and she should as well, and that if her parents have "a bad party", that's too bad. Bailey says, "Is that what you think? That I get to do what I want?" Before he can pour out his sad, sad story, Julia says she doesn't want to hear it.
Charlie stares at a fish tank while sitting in some sort of waiting room. Kirsten comes up and asks if Felicia is seeing a doctor, and then apologizes for getting angry at him yesterday, and says that with "a lot of cases" she loses her objectivity and lets her own issues get in the way. If that happens with a lot of cases, maybe she should consider a career change. Charlie says he understands and Kirsten says he doesn't, but it doesn't matter. This is the point at which a normal person would end the conversation, but then we wouldn't get the message that Charlie and Kirsten are soulmates, now would we? Charlie says that she just sees him as a guy who is scared to have kids, but really he would like to have kids someday. No one asks if he, the father, is able to raise kids. Kirsten asks why he can't have kids someday. Charlie says he wouldn't know how to raise them. Kirsten says he would, as if she knows anything about him. Charlie says she should ask his parents since they barely trust him to watch their other kids. I heard last time they did, he let Owen out of the basement and all hell broke loose. Can you blame them? Kirsten says her parents want her to marry the first doctor who asks, so how much do parents really know? Charlie says, "They know something. They know more than me." Well, so does that piece of coral in the fish tank, so that's not saying much.
Claudia walks into a room and gasps, "Wow! Mom did some redecorating!" I'll say. Is that even the same house? Ross says that it's "very Martha". Claudia informs him that her mom is taking Owen to piano lessons and their dad is at the restaurant, so they should have time to get the scrapbooks. Claudia opens the door to her bedroom, only to find it packed full of miscellaneous crap. She says, "I guess they needed the space." Ross says he's sure they would have cleaned it out if they knew she was coming home. Claudia says she knows, and tries to pretend it doesn't bother her, but it does. They start poking around, looking for the scrapbooks.
Will steps off the curb to a bus, holding a duffel bag and looking around. Some guy comes up to him and says that they can't wait for his friend, and he can catch up with the tour in Sacramento. Will takes one last look around and heads for the bus. We pull back to see Bailey watching Will leave. I still say they could have been a cute couple.
Griffin is working on a car when he hears a throat being cleared. He looks up to see Julia standing there. She tells him she looked him up in the yearbook, and she remembers him now. He was in a band, and he played guitar, and "at the time" she thought he was cute. Griffin says, "At the time?" Neve Campbell even walks differently when playing alternate reality Julia. I guess that's acting or something. It's bugging me. Julia says he was older, and drove a motorcycle, and she figured he wouldn't want anything to do with her. She gets about four inches away from Griffin, who says, "You were probably right. At the time." Then they start making out. Griffin breaks off to say that he has to close up the shop, if Julia wants to wait. She makes like Paula Cole and says, "I don't wanna wait." They start doing it right on the hood of the car.
Bailey and Charlie are printing out place cards. Bailey asks why Julia asked him to do it, since he has horrible handwriting. Charlie says it's punishment. Is that why Charlie is wearing such an ugly shirt? Is that his punishment? Or mine? Anyway, Charlie asks if Bailey is going to go to the party tonight and then catch up with the tour in Sacramento. Bailey says he doesn't know and that their dad would murder him. He asks if he is supposed to do whatever he wants, like Charlie did. Charlie says that what he did was worse, because he just did the opposite of what their father wanted, which means he still didn't make any of his own choices, and now he barely speaks to his father. Charlie tells Bailey to figure out what he wants and do that, and not worry about what others think. Charlie says, "What do you want?" Bailey just sits there.
Julia walks into the garage. Griffin spots her and says hello. Julia says she doesn't want to interrupt, but she brought him some coffee and crullers. Griffin walks over and gives her a kiss, but Julia pulls away. She tells him he's great, and he tells her the car is out front. Aw, poor Griffin. He got used! Julia says it's not like that and that she has a boyfriend. Griffin asks if they got in a fight. Julia says no. Griffin guesses that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Julia says he would never do that, and she was just trying to "figure stuff out". Griffin says, "Maybe you should try to figure stuff out with him" and then he tightens a bolt or something real hard, as if to say, "Don't mess with me, or I'll tighten your bolts real hard, and you'll need power tools to take them off!"
Charlie is standing in the street and Kirsten exits a building and sees him. She says, "Dude, what's up with your shirt?" and he goes, "Dude, what up with your wig?" Well, not really. Really, he tells her that they are going to give up the baby for adoption, and he and Felicia are not getting back together, but he's going to help her with the pregnancy. Kirsten says that's great, but then backtracks and says the clinic has no official view on them staying together. Charlie chuckles. Kirsten asks if there's anything else and Charlie says he just wanted to say thank you, but clearly he wants to ask her out but feels it would be inappropriate, and he's right. Kirsten says, "You're welcome" and walks away. Charlie watches her walking.
At the anniversary party, Claudia hands Ross a glass of wine and keeps one for her. I guess when your dad owns the place, they don't card you. Ross asks if she is downing some "liquid courage" and if she's going to tell them tonight. Claudia says she's decided not to quit. Ross asks if it's because her parents wouldn't approve. Claudia says that it's because her family has all moved out and away. Ross points out that most families do that. Claudia says that in her head, everything was still the way it was when she left, but in reality, the family has changed, and they all have their own lives now. I'm paraphrasing quite a bit here. This was actually a really touching scene.
Justin and Julia walk into the storage room. Julia is all nervous because her parents are going to be there any minute. Justin says he needs to ask her something before they arrive. He says he knows she didn't want to do this tonight, but he thought he could change her mind, and pulls out a ring. Julia looks at it and says she can't. Justin says they don't have to do it tonight, or they can get a different ring. Julia just keeps saying, "I can't...I can't..." and I think she's going to finish, "I can't...believe the wardrobe department put me in this vile purple dress with bell sleeves. What am I, Grace Slick?" Instead, she starts crying and says that she can't do this right now, and that one of them might get scared and do something stupid (like sleeping with the mechanic?) and she wants to do it right "so no one gets hurt". Justin is confused and asks if she wants to wait, or take some time apart. Julia says she wants time apart "from them" and explains that she doesn't want to have dinner with their parents weekly or go to Tuscany with their parents. She wants it to be about the two of them for a while. Justin asks what he's supposed to do with the ring. Julia says he should keep it because hopefully, they'll need it some day. They hug.
Back out front, Charlie walks up to where Bailey is sitting at the bar, drinking (all together now) a beer. Charlie asks if Bailey has talked to their dad yet. Bailey says he did, but he couldn't say no because their dad gets so excited about his plans. Charlie points out that he said no. Bailey says he doesn't need to hear about it from Charlie, and that Charlie put him in this position in the first place when he "flaked out". Charlie says that Bailey has to stop blaming everyone else, and that five years from now, he can't wake up and say things would be different "if Charlie had done this or Dad has said that". Julia telling everyone their parents are arriving interrupts the conversation. Nick and Diana Salinger walk in the door, but we only get a glimpse of them. All the kids but Bailey go up and hug them. They even let Owen out of the basement for a minute! Bailey sits at the bar and drinks his beer while his mom and dad express their surprise. Joe comes over and tells Bailey his father wants to thank him for the party. Bailey says he'll be there in a minute. Joe tells him to come on, and Bailey says there's no rush, because he's not going anywhere. Then he repeats, almost to himself, "I'm not going anywhere." Everything turns to slow motion as we see shots of Julia hugging her mother, Claudia laughing, Charlie hugging his father and other family interactions interspersed with shot of Bailey watching the whole thing. Flashes are going off. Everything fades to black and white and starts spinning as we see a close-up of Bailey's face.
Suddenly, we're back in regular reality, just after Bailey's accident. He sits there with tears in his eyes, then gets out of his Jeep and starts walking over to the other car. The other car pulls away.
Bailey walks into the kitchen where Charlie, Julia and Claudia are waiting for him. Julia sees him first and asks where he was, and if he drove someplace. Claudia says scornfully, "Your car was gone." Bailey says he had an accident and cracked up the Jeep. Charlie asks if he's okay, and Bailey says he is. Claudia asks if anyone was hurt, and Bailey says that no one was. Charlie asks what happened, and why he suddenly...Bailey interrupts to say that Charlie doesn't have to do this. Everyone looks at him, confused, and he continues: "I know. I saw it. I saw it, and you were right, Julia. Whatever's missing, whatever my life is, it's nobody's fault. It's not Mom and Dad's fault. Or anybody else's fault. It's just me." Bailey's face contorts with pain and tears start flowing. He says he's going to go get help, that he already made a call to a rehab place, and he's going. Julia asks when and Bailey says he's going now. Julia gives him a hug. Charlie asks if he needs a ride, and Bailey says, "That'd be good." Julia looks at him and says, "I'll come with you." Claudia adds, "Me too." Julia hugs Bailey again and the camera pans over to a shelf behind Charlie that holds photographs of the family. It zooms in on a shot of the family in the first season, including original Owen as we fade to black. Wow, as cheesy as much of this episode was, that last scene was pretty amazing. I hope I've done it justice.