Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Rich Dad, Poor Dad
By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 05.04.2010
Adam is at home, giving Max a lesson on how to be a good host. The first rule of being a good host is sharing, he reminds Max. "And, also, letting your guest choose what they want to do," he adds. Apparently a man from Adam's office is coming over for a cookout with his wife and son, David. "It would be nice if we all did our best to get along," Adam says. Max seems fine with this, and says okay. "So, let's say you and David are playing with your bugs," Adam says, "and he decides he doesn't want to play with bugs anymore. He wants to play basketball. What are you going to do?" Max knows the correct answer is: play basketball. Adam just wants to make sure they are on the same page. "Right," he says, "even if you want to..." Max: "Still play with bugs." Aw. Man, I really feel for Max and all kids like him. The kid is just trying to live among his bugs, man. "Can we stop talking about this, now?" he asks, simply. "You owe me a sticker for this." Adam: "You got it."At the soccer field, the kids on Julia's team are sharing their special talents. Dudes, there is a tiny kid there, Brian, doing the electric boogaloo like I have never seen in my life. I have to rewind it 20 times. The team watches Brian in awe as Julia tells everyone how, this season, they are going to win every game. "No, we're not," a little smart-mouthed cutie shoots back. Au contraire, Julia says. They are going to win, because they are going to redefine winning as having fun and being a team. Brian finishes his clinic on awesomeness, and another little boy shares his special skill: doing something gross with chewing gum. Julia hears a whistle across the field and looks up to see another team practicing drills and looking like an efficient killing machine of five-year-old soccer stars. Wouldn't you know it? Their coach is Raquel. So much for living in peace or whatever she's always jabbering on about. Julia puts her hand on her hip and scowls.
It's dark when Steve pulls up in front of Haddie's house. "Look, Haddie," he says, as she seems to mope in the passenger seat. "I don't want to force you into anything that you don't want to do." Sure he does. He tells her he loves her, and Haddie sighs and apologizes for being so weird tonight. "That's okay," Steve says. "We can try again for next week." Haddie's eyebrows shoot right off. "Well, you said," Steve tries, still in his best nice-guy tone, "well, you... indicated..." Haddie is mad now and asks if he's saying she lead him on. No, no, Steve backpeddles. He says all he's saying is that he cares about her, and so whenever she's ready, he'll just wait. "Steve," Haddie says, upset. "I'm not going to just... ripen... like a piece of fruit!" Steve says that's not what he's saying, but of course it totally is, even if he doesn't realize it. Haddie says she doesn't think this whole thing is working. "What whole thing?" Steve asks, incredulous. Haddie: "Like, us..." Steve asks why she would even say that. "You're just upset, obviously, right now," he says, trying to placate her, but oh, no, girlie ain't playing. "I'm upset," she says. "I'm not just upset." I pause to raise a fist in solidarity. Steve drops his game. "So, one minute, we're going from almost having sex to a break up?" Haddie is amazed at his ineptitude. "I care about you, I really do," she says extricating herself from the car. "But I feel like this is what I have to do right now." I love it.
The next morning, Haddie stomps into and out of the kitchen, barely giving her parents the time of day. Adam asks Kristina if she's talked to Haddie about the break up. "They broke up," she says. "That's all I could get out of her." This isn't enough information for Adam. He wants to know who broke up with whom. "She broke up with him," Kristina says, making a sad face. Adam, on the other hand, is thrilled. "Good!" he says, and moves on, reminding her that the guy from work and his family are coming over. I keep calling him "the guy from work" because their name sounds like "The Genitalias" and it bothers me. Kristina asks what his deal is with these people, since he's reminded her 16 times about the cookout. Adam says he just thinks they're really going to get along with these people. "Max could have a new friend in David," he says. "These people are cool! They have potential to become top five friends, here! Top five!" Kristina rolls her eyes. "Top five. That's pretty cool, honey." Hee.
At HQ, Sarah is using her parents' computer, trying to figure out Photoshop for her class. She is justifiably frustrated, as anyone would be trying to learn it from scratch at a kitchen desktop computer. Camille comes in and attempts to commiserate as only a mother can -- by giving unwanted advice. "I think you're afraid of trying," she says. Sarah scoffs. "Now I'm afraid of trying?" she says. "You always said in high school I was afraid of failing! Which is it?" Sarah is just frustrated, but now Camille is offended. "It's your life," she says, Mom-style, and starts to walk out. "I'm just saying, Mom," Sarah says, trying to smooth it over, "what do you know about failure?" Camille looks at her over her glasses. "I'm acquainted with failure," she says. Sarah smiles. "No, Mom, like real failure," she says. "Not like, 'oh, my organic pastry dough didn't rise.' I mean, real failure." Camille tucks a shopping bag under her arm and gathers her keys in silence before sighing and asking Sarah if she's sure she doesn't need anything from the store. Sarah realizes she's said the wrong thing. "Hey, Mom, I'm just kidding," she calls after Camille, who has walked out of the kitchen without looking back.
In the hallway at school, Haddie brings Amber up to speed on the Steve situation. They exchange several "dudes," and "totallys" and Amber gives Haddie her full support for the break up. "If there's one thing I know," Amber says, "you don't wanna cash in your V-chip with a cliché. Or a jerk. Or a douche. So, I guess that rules out Steve."
Later, Sarah returns to the pawn shop. Messing with my mind, they have moved the camera to the other side of the counter, so that it looks like the entire store was flipped around. She reminds the owner of her visit the other day, and how she looked at the cufflinks. "Couldn't resist 'em, huh?" he asks, smiling. She says that actually, she was wondering if he would tell her who brought them in, because her dad thinks they might have been stolen from his gym. The store owner looks a little nervous and tells her it's policy not to reveal who brings in the stuff. "Please," she says, and he bends. He looks it up and tells her the cufflinks were pawned by Zeek Braverman. Sarah's heart breaks. "That's my dad," she says, smiling sadly. The owner pulls out a box containing the other items Zeek pawned. "It's probably a cash flow thing," he tells her, uncomfortable, and says Zeek will likely be back soon for her stuff. "How much?" she asks, holding up a baseball that was in the box. The guy says it's $400. Shocked, Sarah puts it back.
Mass confusion is occurring on the soccer field as Julia's team does their athletically-challenged best against their opponents. They lose 11-0, but Julia congratulates them anyway on a good effort. As she is talking about next week's practice, Raquel comes over. "I love your kids," she says, condescending. "They are so cute." Julia jokes that if she came there scouting to forget about it. Raquel smiles. "No," she says. "I came to see if you wanted to take one of my players. We have so many good players. If you take one, it would make the game more fun," she says, pointing to the scoreboard. "For everyone." Surely it is only the presence of impressionable young minds that holds Julia back from cutting a bitch right here. But as she's considering whether or not she wants to risk going to jail for beating down Raquel, she looks over her shoulder to see none other than the inestimable Jabbar, who has come to watch the game and is now running around playing on the emptied field, kicking balls into the goal like a pro. She smiles, evilly, and bows to Raquel: "Namaste."