Last week on Oz: Cyril got shipped off. Supreme made nice with Hill, Mobay got stuck, and Ryan got accused of a crime he did commit.
We open with Hill explaining the difference between a hero and a goat. I dial him up and explain the difference between a rat's ass and a subject I'd give one for. He screens my call again. Slippery bastard.
First scene involves some nifty new camera work as we zoom in on everyone watching the tube from behind. It's extremely cutting-edge. In Bizarro World. It's all about Up Your Ante -- question being, what does it mean when a ref does thisgive up? Okay, I'll do it againyou guys just aren't getting it, huh? Well, neither does the contestant. We cut to see Omar "Up My Nose With A Lotta Those" White looking around the corner all sly and covert, then turning to snort some of the devil's dandruff up his sniffer. I guess he didn't know that underneath the stairs, he's invisible, so he doesn't have to look around. I'm a tad feisty with this particular episode since I noticed about a hundred things that would NEVER happen in a prison unless it was being run by the blind and acutely unaware. Chico the tool spies White and meanders over to ask Omar how he's feeling. He's feeling good now. Everything is beautiful. Chico turns and says, "I'm still feeling all sorts of aches and pains from when you stabbed me." Omar says he's sorrysorry Chico didn't die. Cue the flashback of Chico's crime, which was throwing a little person off a roof. Dude! Like, what's that about? That was a BAD Chico! Cut to Chico telling McManus that Omar is still a tit man. McManus tells him he's really more of a leg man, himselfbig, long, hairy legs, that is. With a kickstand. Okay, I managed to gross myself out. McManus doubts the motive behind Chico's sharing and asks him why he's telling McManus this. He says it's because Omar shanked him, he shanked McManus, and it's only a matter of time before he shanks some other unsuspecting person. We see the call for shakedown. They shake 'em up good, but after they get Omar and pull a rabbit out of his hat, they shake crafty Chico down too. He's got a trick or two down his sock. Chico and Omar exchange dirty looks. Chico gets sent to the cage and Omar to McManus's office.
Ooh! Tim! You're SO harsh! In the office, Tim asks Omar why he shouldn't ship his sorry ass back to solitary. Now, we all know that when someone asks you why they shouldn't do something, it means that they don't really want to. An example of this would be: "Why should I take you back again?" "Why should I ever trust you again?" "Why should you ever be allowed around my house pets without a chaperone?" These questions beg for you to give the person a reason to not take action. Omar proceeds to embarrass himself by whinging and whining about the tits and the "temptation" and the need to put them "where they don't belong." He squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth to convey his incredible lack of acting skills or anything resembling acting skills. McManus then snaps, "You really think I'm a bubblehead, don't you?" Okay, first of all, we all think you're a bubblehead. Second of all, you get shanked by the damn guy and then make him your pet project, an action which the gold standard was based upon to measure the density of a bubblehead. Third of all, we all know you aren't going to punish him since you're talking to him about it so shut. Up. McDrainus. He's still going on and on about rehab and Omar not going. There's a session at one o'clock. He better be there or Tiny Tim will get really mad and make him write "I will not act up in prison" five hundred times. Omar leaves with the guard while Tim catches up on his paperwork. I peer at the screen to see what is actually on the paperworkhe seems to be writing a love letter to Murphy. I can't make out the writing but I DO see two boxes drawn at the bottom for "yes" or "no."
Even The Score
“ She schmoos, 'As a lawyer, I think you're insaneas a mother [reaches over to cover his hand with her own], I think you got balls for days.' And I bet she would love to see if she's right. ”
Rehab. Jackson saying that the key to quitting drugs is finding other ways to fill your timelike with trouncing McManus in basketball. Beecher then lends no help at all by saying that isn't enough. You have to hit rock bottom before you can "climb your way out." Thank you, 12-Step McGruff. We are sufficiently enlightened. Omar becomes a little squirrelly because he thinks Beech was "looking at [him]," to which Beecher responds that he was addressing the group. He was calling everybody losersnot just Omar. Omar: "What? You think you're better than me 'cause you quit and I can't?" Then he jumps up and tells Beech that all he did was switch from tits to licks, and that he can lick him if he wants. I don't think Beech wants to though. He starts getting all up in Beecher's face while Pete yells the requisite "Stop!" and Ryan pulls Omar back. Mayhem ensues as everyone begins fighting, kind of. I mean, they sort of slap at each other and yell insults, and there's a lot of people looking relieved that they're being held back. Kind of like a bar. The guards come in and break it all up. Beecher just looks like he gets jostled around and waves his arms a lot. He's such a wuss. Pete claps her hand to her face and rolls her eyes at the unruliness of it all.
Infirmary of nicks, scrapes, and heated forbidden passion. Everyone's wrecked. Hill's got a pack to his head. Jackson hurt his hand, Ryan's talking smack, and Beecher looks depressed. Oh, right. He always looks like that. Well, he now has some cuts on his knuckle too, even though I didn't see him throw a punch, and if he did, he probably didn't even hit hard enough to cut himself. I see him as more of a slapper, actually. Omar is sitting there, looking rode hard and put away wet. Pete tells Tim, "As a rule I don't give up on people but this guy Omarhe may be the exception." McYawnus barks Omar's name. Omar dutifully lopes over. They stand facing each other on opposite sides of the fence and Tim just looks at the very bad boy. Omar: "I know, I fucked up again, all bullshit aside, I want to own my own mind." McCrackass accepts this and yaddas about not knowing why he trusts Omar, but he's not giving up on him. Well, you continue trusting him because you are a dumbass. You're not giving up on him because you are consistent in your dumbassedness, never faltering in making the stupidest choices known to idiots. After he spits a very non-inspiring statement into Omar's face, he grasps Omar's hand, and Omar thanks him for believing in him some more.
Grainy flashback of Beecher facing the mother of the girl he killed while drunk driving. She's yelling, "You killed my baby!" while he stares numbly back at her. He's wearing glasses and shorter hair. Back to the present. Beech stares downward while Catherine the lawyer gives him the same good news as last week. Sister Pete is in attendance also. Once Catherine finishes telling him he could possibly be out by month's end, Beecher asks her if the parents of the girl have been informed that he'll be roaming the streets. Free. She tells him that it's not advisable to do that, as they could in turn sway the board to deny parole. Beecher explains, "Until my son was killed I've never fully understood what I've done to those people. I can't go back into the world knowing I snuck out." In essence, he feels he must have their blessing so as to ensure his spot right to Jesus. Pete says that before they tell them, she will first arrange an interaction between him and the parents, prior to the hearing. He turns to Spready McSlutsky and asks her if she understands why he must do this. She schmoos, "As a lawyer, I think you're insaneas a mother [reaches over to cover his hand with her own], I think you got balls for days." And I bet she would love to see if she's right. Pete beams at the two of them.
We cut to the interaction. Beecher sits opposite the two parents. Pete is at the head of it. Beecher begins, "Last time we saw each other, Mrs. Rockwell, I didn't say much." Mrs. Rockwell: "You didn't say anything." He agrees. "Well, that's because I was on drugsI was confused and full of self-loathing." Mr. Rockwell asks, "And now you've forgiven yourself?" Beecher: " Nowhat I did to your daughter will shadow me forever, just as being in Oz will. What's happened to me in herewellwhether I've suffered enough to satisfy you, I don't know." Mr. R: "When you were sentenced to fifteen years, I was stunned. Fifteen lousy years doesn't equal the lifetime my daughter lost. You say you've sufferedI say I'm glad." We cut to Pete's reaction, which is calm concern. The dad really looks like he'd be one of those drill sergeant dads that would yell if you got an A minus in math. Beecher tells them that when the lawyer told him he could be paroled, she said it was because of the extenuating circumstances, that the board might look kindly upon him. Pete encourages him to explain the "circumstances." He continues, "Since I've been inside, my son was murdered and my wife may have been." He makes a dumb comment about how when he entered Oz he was "walking across the grave of [their] daughter" and I get that, I really do, but I think it was an inappropriate way to word it. He adds that he is now walking across the graves of his family. It just sounds weird. Mrs. R: "When I saw you four years ago, the pain of Kathy's death was still so new, and David and I grieved and grieved, we still do. But the sorrow is balanced with joy, we have another child, Richard, and he's growing up to be remarkable." She continues on to say that although they still don't understand why their daughter is gone, they accept that it must be part of some "wise plan." She finishes by saying how they cannot decide if he's suffered enough -- only God can decide that. Cue Pete's deep look at her shoes. Mrs. R to Beecher: " We will not interfere with your parole." Beecher looks both pained and relieved. Fade out.
Hill. A good man knows where to draw the line. I've had it. I dial his number again. Hello? Hill? What the HELL are you talking about? I realize you break the show into sections and bring me some sort of hope that I'm making progress as I tap, tap, tap away but o-mi-gawd! What's with the pointless reference to what good men do? We are dealing with inmates! None of them are "good." Not even you! Hill pauses before replying sadly, "I was trying to share my knowledge with you, young Megyn, perhaps the deepest form of love. One small glimpse of sunshine in an otherwise dismal recap -- and yet, you beseech me for logic? Have I failed you so miserably? By the gods, no! It will not be! I will find your logic! I will travel far and near. Consult with poets and shamen. I will fornicate with whores and virgins. Yes, I accept the divine quest to scour the black depths of my soul and unlock the mysteries of human behavior, all for one iota of logic, and when I find it, like the holy grail, I will return to you, bathed in the blood of my strugglestaggering to you, fall to my knees to lean in and whisper in your ear, the logic you so long to hear. And then, in the warm glow of the moment, you will smile knowingly, for you are, at this point, drunk beyond comprehension. Your eyes brighten and tear at our folly as you laugh at the absurdity of my quest." [Long silence.] Uh, Hill? I actually need to finish this episode during the season, mmkay? Click!