Previously, on Oz--Ryan flipped out on his new mommy and beat the glass, Carrie gave birth to a baby covered in Jell-O, Clayton warned his mom he might do something real bad but he wouldn't say what, Mobay got sappy, and Beecher got jiggy.
Hill says back in the old Greek times, there was a nice guy named Orpheus who loved his wife, so, naturally, the gods fucked with him. See, I love mythology, but the correlation is wicked dumb, if not nonexistent.
We see walking feet, the likes of we haven't swooned to since Saturday Night Fever. They advance into Oz as the plink! Plink! of tension-building music plays, and we see the back of that semi-bald, perfectly round head, walking jauntily, yet cautiously, as he enters his "home" if you will, as it were. We suddenly hear the soothing cadence of Burr's voice, reiterating via flashback that "the time for action has arrived," and we then hear the various assignments he handed out to his team as we flip between that and the present day as McManus nods to someone to open the pods containing Burr and Morales. The pods open with a swoosh. Morales and Burr stand before McManus and listen to him drone about being in the hospital and how the tension must have started while he was there. He asks if the two are going to pledge peace between the respective armies or if he's going to have to stick them both in the birdcage until one of them pecks the other's eyes out. They opt for peace. McManus demands haughtily that they "shake hands where all the others can see." They do, and the podlings look on disgustedly. We get to see the "inner workings" of prison life as the camera zooms in on the "door control section A" switches that allow them to open the pod doors, thus releasing the podlings into the "living room" of Oz. Hill approaches Burr for whatever reason, and Burr tells him he knows he was the one to tip off the hacks, and that Hill is still alive because of their history but the two of them are through. He walks off, leaving Hill to absorb. Then Morales walks by Ja-Ja-Ja-Jia, who threatens to do away with Morales regardless of the spit 'n' shake. Jia gets all "Don't push your luck with me," and Morales's girlfriend gets pissed, so Jia takes him to the floor. Murphy breaks it up and puts Jia in the birdcage.
Flashback to infirmary where we are reminded that Omar tried to shank Supreme Allah. Cut to Pancamo, sweating to the oldies as he pumps iron. Enter Allah, who tells Pancamo he "thought [he] was dead." Pancamo: "I heard the same thing about you." Allah muses that we all can't believe rumors…like the one he heard about the peace treaty with Redding. Morales asks him what he would have done. "I tell you what I will do, that dude's going down." They protest that if Redding is iced, the hacks will be after them. "Yeah, well, not if he gets greased by one of his own." "Who you got in mind?" asks Morales. Supreme Bore points out Hill, who is playing a little basketball with some inmate with man-breasts. Cue the strains of the plot thickening as we cut to the lunchroom. Supreme approaches Hill and asks him why he "ain't chowin' with his pal Redding." Hill looks up and snaps, "Take a fuckin' walk, ketchup." Ketchup makes a swooshing sound with his lips and recaps for those of us playing at home that he's survived both Omar White's and Tug Daniels's attempts at making him wear the red shirt. Then he suggests that Hill needs a friend, now that he's on the outs with Burr. He wants to make nice with Hill, which should more than make up for putting him away for life, and paralyzing him, also for life. From now on, he's got his back. You know, the one he broke. Yeah, that one. Meanwhile, Burr witnesses the exchange while chewing. Does the man do anything but eat?
Murphy brings the Colonel in to meet his new pod-buddy, Redding. Redding gripes that he doesn't want a roomie. Murphy snarks, "Ah jeez, your reservation for the single suite must have gotten screwed up," and leaves. Burr grumps about McManus and what must he have been thinking putting the two grumps together. Clink sits down and stares at his feet. "I don't know." A light bulb dims as Redding asks Clink why they call him "the Colonel." "Because I am." Which rates right up there with "because I said so," and the angel of distraction reminds me that Will & Grace is on right after Friends and it's Superstar Thursday. Fuck! Why do you torment me so?? Leave me to do my JOB! God! Hey! It turns out Redding was also in the army. Viet Naaaaaammm to be exact. He just sounds like one big whoopee cushion, folks. So, Redding decides that Clink is a-okay with him since they both fought in the same war, and that McManus ain't such a damn fool after all. He gets up and offers Clink his hand like it's some honor, and they shake on it. Burr goes to stare broodingly out the window while telling Clink that he has a little "search-and-destroy mission" for him. The victims, it seems, are Morales and Pancamo. Oh, but brief was our peace.
The infirmary of lost souls. Gloria, Pete, and McManus all pretend he isn't a walking panty stain while he gets the bullet on Omar's condition. Gloria says she was just about to send him back to solitary. Then Pete tells him she thinks it's just the drugs that make him volatile. Drugs are bad. Marijuana is bad. I don't want to be good. McManus decides that if they can keep Omar clean, he's "salvageable." McManus walks into the room where Omar lies in his cot. "Hello Omar." Omar is all, "Hellooo Newman." No, really, Omar's all, "I'm sorry for shanking you," and McManus is all, "I forgive you," and then fairies alight on the shoulders of each and bitch-slap their asses while screaming, "Stupid little men!!" McManus asks him how he'd like to go back to Emerald City. "Instead of solitary?" That Omar, he's a smart cookie, you betcha. McManus says they'll "have to go over some ground rules" like, no stabbing me when we're together, 'k? And, no stabbing anybody else, 'k? WHAT. Ever, dude. He stuck you in the guts, not the nuts. Act like you have one, even two, and put him in solitary! Cut to the kitchen, where Poet asks Omar how he pulled that one off. Omar clicks and whirrs and grunts a whole lotta nothing.
Hill doing "Itsy Bitsy Spider," which is supposed to be Orpheus's wife strolling along and until she gets bitten by snake. Orpheus freaks out and demands that his wife be returned. Some goddess says, "Okay, on one condition, if you look at her before getting back to earth, she goes back to Hades, yo." Well, guess what? He does, 'cause he's a stupid-ass, and she goes right on back. Lesson learned? Get a snake-bite kit and a man who will listen. Problem being, snake-bite kits are hard to find.
Unit J. Claire sits on her ass while yapping on the phone to what sounds like a girlfriend. We overhear her saying, "You know how men are." While she doesn't do her job, Hatin' Clayton pounds the speed bag and decides to ask Alvin what kind of name Yood is. Al says it's American. Hatin' says, "There are no American names, dumbass" -- everything Alvin says is met with "dumbass," so for a change, it seems Hatin' is looking to scrap. It's so annoying how his character is just so punkish and looking for a fight when all anyone wants to do is help him. Ungrateful ass. Any. Way. Yood pretty much ignores Hatin' and tells him his name isn't American, it's "dumbass." Mobay calls to Claire and tells her to "do her job." She tells Clayton to put a lid on it. Clayton looks at Mobay and basically tells him he can't believe he took Alvin's side, since they are both black and Alvin isn't. Mobay for the most part ignores him, but does call him a "fuckwad," which I like. Cut to the visiting room of foreshadowing. Mobay greets his wife, who is already weepy, and she tells him she misses him a lot and to "come home." He reminds her he can't do that for three more years. She says she "won't make it three years." They talk of their son and how she has to be strong for them and for Robby. He tells her they will get through this and that everything will be okay. , he says he's ready for her to bring Robby for a visit. She looks at him like she just can't believe it, and then they touch foreheads and revel in their love.
Unit J. Again. Hatin' paces like a jackal while Alvin sleeps and Mobay works out. He walks to the bookshelf and pretends to mull over the selection as he pulls a door stop from underneath the shelves and puts it under the door so Claire can't come out. She, of course, is yapping on the phone again. Probably to the same person who doesn't have friends either. He advances towards Mobay. "Basil." "Yeah?" "Your son…you think he's gonna be okay growing up without a father?" Just as Mobay asks, "What?" Hatin' sticks him with a shank. "Now who's the fuckwad?" Alvin has woken up by this time and slams him against the wall while Claire banshees from her little room and keeps yelling a futile, "Open this damn door!" because, you know, Hatin' is just about to let her out of there. I honestly can't tell if he shanks Alvin or not during the fight…it looks like he does, but they don't make it clear. We cut to solitary where Hatin' is being led, right towards stupid Leo. They put him against the wall to uncuff him. He starts laughing. They put him in the cell, and Leo looks ill.
In the infirmary, we learn by his upright position that Alvin wasn't stuck after all. Just beaten. As Gloria patches him, Leo walks in and goes over to the dead body of Johnny Basil, who get zipped up in his body bag. Leo turns to see Johnny's wife being brought in. Leo sighs.
Leo's office of non-bliss. He sits and broods drunkenly into his glass, much like I am right now, as Boria skips in to announce that she's heading home. He drops his glass so as to convey his utter inebriation and establish the reason she will then need to take him home. She starts to clean up the broken glass but he tells her to leave it. Then yells for her to leave it when she continues, causing her to straighten and pout real good. Leo blahs about the glass reminding him in the morning how drunk he was. He's ready to go home. Boria: "I'll call you a cab." Leo: "Nope." Boria: "You're a cab!" Ha! No, that was me again. She says, "Then I'll drive you myself!" I projectile vomit. The angel of distraction hands me a paper towel. Leo tells her, "Johnny Basil and I had a lot in common…good intentions that turn to shit." She just coos, "Come on, let me take you home," and puts his arm around her neck and walks him out. Like he's that drunk. Puh-leez.
Sister Pete's office the day. She walks in yapping about the snow while Beecher ignores her and stares forlornly out the window. She finally notices he isn't responding to her fascinating chatter and says pointedly, "Good morning to you too." He turns and apologizes. Then he admits that he misses Keller. They can't call each other, and "if [Keller] has written, one of the Nazis in the mailroom probably took it…or maybe he hasn't written." He continues to whine that Keller may have already found someone else. Pete points out that he has much to be grateful for, with his daughter beginning to respond normally and not rock in a corner, drooling, and how Catherine is working on getting him out of prison. He admits that he's scared. "When I get out, who will I be?" Ugh! He's getting on my nerves. Too needy. Cut to him and Catherine in the visiting room, discussing his case; she is "guardedly optimistic." He comes to life and practically begins chasing his tail. He tells her he can't "thank her enough." She tells him not to thank her until he's on the other side of the wall. Oh well, he has one condition about that: "If I do go free, I want to take you out to dinner, nicest restaurant in the city, Dom, the whole bit." She says she'd like that. The guard rolls his eyes at the both of them, and I mutter "word" under my alcohol-laced breath. Beecher asks, "Are you married?" Then he backtracks and says he has no business asking her questions about her personal life and that she doesn't have to answer. Instead of agreeing with him and being appropriately freaked out, she tells him, "It's okay." And that since she knows every detail of his personal life, "why shouldn't [he] know something about [hers]." Then she tells him she's divorced, one kid, a son, same age as Holly. A son, you say? Really. The bell rings, and the guard tells them the party is over. Beecher grouses about never being able to finish a conversation. She's all, "We're far from finished, Tobias." Oh sweet Christ.
Beecher again in Pete's office. Speaker phone. Keller's voice piping over. Pete explains that they may have a conversation as long as she stays with Beecher and the other guard stays with Keller. Keller to Beecher: "How are ya?" Beecher: "Better, now." He tells Keller that he may be paroled in a few weeks and if so, he'd like to come up and visit him. Keller: "Hey, Toby, uh…don't." He tells Beecher that if he's lucky enough to get out, to run and stay as far away from Keller as possible. Beecher looks like he might cry: "You giving me an order?" Keller tells him he is on his knees (Right. I can't take that one? Too obvious?) and to stay away from him. Then he hangs up on Beecher. Pete comforts him.
Playroom, where Schillinger waits for Carrie and her offspring. He picks up a doll and holds it, putting it away quickly when a guard opens the door. The guard leaves and Vern sees that in his haste, he placed the doll to an African-American doll. He moves the white baby away from the African-American doll. Carrie comes walking in with the little one, who is in pink from soft spot to toe. He asks to hold her, and awkwardly does so while Carrie says, "Say hi to Grandpa, Jewel!" "You named her 'Jewel'?" Carrie insists that she is one, and that Hank loved the song "You Were Meant For Me." Cut to the lunchroom, where Robson looks at a snapshot of the baby and says dryly, "She's real cute, Vern." Schillinger persists, "Her name is Jewel." Robson looks on the bright side and says he hopes they don't nickname her "Jew." An orange on a tray stops behind Vern as a voice floats down, "You Shall-inger?" Vern turns around and corrects, "It's Schillinger." The guy is Curtis Bennett. "I knew your son, Hank." "You knew my son Hank?" Thus reminding us that no matter how much he loves his little grandspawn, he's still a racist pig. Robson says he heard that Curtis was a pimp. Curtis says he's proud of it. His girls were the best. Nobody put his babies in a corner! Vern asks him what this has to do with Hank. Well, it seems Hank was short on cash, and like any fine husband would in that situation, he pimped his girl out to make some. He says her name was "Casey, Carrie, something like that." Vern stands up to kick some ass, but the guy insists he doesn't want any trouble. "I thought you knew he pimped that bitch out." Nice. He then goes on to tell Vern that he's surprised the baby didn't come out "golden brown." We all know how Vern would feel about that one. The brotherhood all look pissed.
In the library, Reverend Dylan asks Vern if he's considered the possibility that Curtis is lying. Vern frets that he can't ask her till week when he has visiting privileges. Dylan says that since Carrie's been talking to Sarah over at the church, so he will ask Sarah if Carrie has ever "mentioned her past." Vern is all worked up, and stands up while saying he has to know if the baby is his grandchild or not. He leaves and stops by Robson on the way out. Robson asks him what they're going to do. Schillinger wants to find out if Curtis is lying. Robson: "And if he is?" Schillinger says he'll stick him himself, right between the eyes. Robson laughs with glee that his big daddy is back. Meanwhile, in Leo's office, Said tells McManus and Glynn that Robson was behind the plot to stab him, thus ending Leroy's life when he jumped in front of the shank to protect Said. Jenkins is on trial for the killing, but Robson is still, well, free. I guess Said wants him on death row, or at least double-dirty-dog imprisoned. McManus says that the only person to corroborate the story is Jenkins: "And he ain't gonna squeal." Said asks them to let him talk to Jenkins…that he'll get him to talk. Leo says no, claiming it will set off another race war. Said regards him calmly and says, "Do what you always do…nothing." Oooh! You go, Said! Cut to the reverend pod as Said enters to interrupt Bible study and ask Dylan for a word. He says he believes Dylan to be "a man of God, truly of faith, that [he] believes in justice." "I do." Said then asks him for "a favor." We see Dylan loping down the hallway of solitary towards Jenkins's cell. When he enters, Jenkins asks, "Are you here to kill me?" Dylan says no, that he's there to save his soul. scene is Leo crowing to Robson that Jenkins "gave you up! He pinned Leroy Tibbs on you." Robson, of course, denies all charges and flips out.
Solitary. Schillinger delivers the mail, and we see Jenkins pacing nervously in his cell. Vern opens the window and says, "Carl…this is for you." And hands a manila envelope through to Jenkins. When opened, we see black-and-white photos of the results of a lynching. It really makes me ill. After looking through the three photos, he finds a note that reads, "N----- Lover." I do not envy the person at HBO who had to scrawl that in black marker. It amazes me how certain words can literally look evil. The note has the same effect on me the photos did. Jenkins looks ill as well, and sits down to wipe his face with his hands and absorb the feeling of being really screwed.
The gym. Reverend lifting weights. And that would be the brotherhood approaching him. He sits up and asks if there's a problem. Vern, leaning over him, says, "You've been a comfort to me, Reverend, so I'm gonna let you live…but don't you ever meddle in the affairs of the brotherhood again." Then he starts quoting a passage from the Bible, and Samuel L. Jackson calls his bank to check the balance in his checking account while Dylan stares up at Vern with a frozen expression. When they leave, Dylan is visibly shaken. Good scene on Luke Perry's part. I've got to say, he's done pretty well during his stint on Oz.
Solitary. Robson is led to his new home. As they open the cell, we hear Ryan say, "What's up, half-dick?" Robson spits at him but Ryan ducks, laughing, and continues delivering the lunches. He slides a tray into Alvarez's cell -- but we don't see Alvarez. He continues on down to Jenkins's cell and, when the tray isn't taken, Ryan opens the window and peers through. He informs Smith, the guard, that Jenkins doesn't "look so hot." Smith investigates, and we see that the young lad has hanged himself. Ryan appears unaffected and makes an un-funny comment about chicken nuggets before showing us his bald spot as he leaves.
Jackson's cell. He sleeps while a rat kicks it on his chest. He awakens in a panic and yells to the guard that they need to call pest control. Unfortunately, if they do that, McManus will be exterminated. Cut from pointless scene to Fox playing some hoops. In walks McManus to criticize his "follow-through." Meaningless male banter ensues, which basically results in McManus challenging Fox to a game where McManus picks the best CO and Fox picks the worst inmate. If Fox agrees, McManus (of fucking course!) will "bring him back to Em City." Cut to the staff meeting, where Leo dumbly repeats, "Basketball tournament?" while McManus stands and excitedly explains his hare-brained scheme that smells of past schemes. Claire echoes the drumming in my skull with "Here we go again." McManus asks what she means. She snips, "What if something goes wrong?" He defends himself: "Nothing is going to go wrong." She reminds him about the boxing fiasco which resulted in a death. Tim whines that "basketball isn't boxing." Which explains why it's a good idea, um, not at all. Leo mentions that the gym won't accommodate the same number of inmates as it did with the boxing matches. McManus suggests using "good behavior as the price of admission." Leo mulls it over, searching for any loophole which might cause him to lift a damn finger; finding none, he nods and says, "All right." The meeting ends on Claire's eye roll.
Everyone walks out, and Tim sidles up to Leo and tells him he needs a teammate. Leo laughs, "You're looking at the wrong guy." McManus pouts and reminds Glynn helpfully that he "loves basketball." Glynn agrees, but he's not about to go up against Jackson. McManus's pout puffs and lengthens to the floor, tripping him as he leaves. , in the locker room for the severely fashion-challenged, Tim approaches his life-partner, Murphy, who ties his shoes and stands up to show us his manly chest, encased in a plaid ace bandage masquerading as a shirt. Tim asks Murphy to play with him in the game. Murphy declines, and takes it a step further by saying he thinks McManus should "call the game off." Because it's bad for them, and all of the hacks are going to "take a lot of shit when [McManus] lose[s]." He points out that McManus hasn't played for twenty years, and that he also just got out of the hospital. Enter Claire just as McManus tells Murphy to fuck off and Murphy calls him an "asshole." Claire mocks Tim, "Whatsa matter? Timmy can't find anyone to throw the ball to?" I'm just praying she doesn't take her shirt off. Tim leaves, and we see him walking down a gray hallway, literally puffing and pouting when he hears the beautiful sound of Dave, the hack, shooting baskets. Tim sees him make ONE shot and says, "You're good." Dave's like, "Oh yeah?" and shoots another basket. McManus pops a woody and says, "Really good." Please -- I can make two shots but I don't think it makes me a basketball player. Dave starts explaining his convenient past in college basketball, blah blah had a scholarship, yadda yadda scalped tickets, "thrown out of school and here he is" kind of thing. Tim pretends to listen, waits till he's done, and…action! "Listen, uh, I challenged Jackson to some two-on-two, so, you wanna be my running mate?" Dave does. Dave is a knob.
Tim's office. In walks Busmalis: "You wanted to see me?" "Busmalis, come in!" Busmalis: "Sit?" McManus: "Stand." Heh. Cute. They amuse me. Bring them to my tent! Where was I? Oh! So, Tim asks Busmalis if he ever played basketball. "No." Ever play any sports? "No." Busmalis says he was "the guy with the towel." Aw. You gotta love him. McManus tells him to introduce himself to Jackson because he's "his new teammate." , the basketball tournament is about to start as we see Busmalis enter the gym wearing shorts. It doesn't really help that I'm seeing two of him at this point, either. The crowd goes wild. They boo when McManus and Dave enter. Leo steps up to the soapbox. "As you all know, this is the best of a three game series. Due to the fact that our court is smaller than regulation, the game will run full-court. We'll set the clock at twenty minutes. Each team gets one time-out, and the three-point line is in effect." Then he tells them to either "hoop it up" or whoop it up." I can't tell. The game starts. There are even cheerleaders! Fox and Dave really kick some ass while McManus pretends he's the best basketball player ever and Busmalis doesn't get any screen time. We see the clock at almost time, and Busmalis throws an unlikely basket which is of course the winning shot. We see Rebadow cheer. The inmates win 56-30. All the inmates start singing. It's pretty funny, actually.
Back to the depressing stuff. Death row. Giles watches as Leo tells Moses that the court has set the following Thursday for his execution. Moses chooses lethal injection. Said makes with the J. Peterman voice: "I've contacted the organ donor association regarding your willingness to donate your organs…they were thrilled." He tells Moses they have agreed to allow Moses to meet with the patients who will receive his goods. First up is Jiffy, the blind man. He enters the visiting room where Moses sits, and greets him by saying he's a hero. Moses, not Jiffy. Jiffy tells Moses he thinks he's the cat's meow, then asks to feel his face so he can remember the face of the guy who restored his sight. we see Moses in an orange jumpsuit, getting ready to embark on the field trip to meet the recipient of his heart…when he dies, of course. Leo tells him it's time to go. Moses looks at Said: "So long, Said." He leaves and Arif says, "Funny, he said 'so long' like he was never coming back." Said whips his head around and makes a face.
TV time in the common room. As they are all watching Up Your Ante, a special news bulletin breaks the story of Moses, who died while leaping from a moving vehicle. Poor Said. He listens to the newsbreak while looking dramatic and at fault...again. We cut to Giles, in his cell, watching a CO clear out Moses's cell. He cries.
Hill says Orpheus was blamed by the people in his town for failing his family, and they killed him and threw his organs into the river. Actually, that isn't correct. He was killed, but not by the "townsfolk." He wandered the forest and was killed by a band of women, I can't remember what they were called. ["The Ciconian women -- they attacked him because he refused the company of women." -- Sars] In essence, shut up, Hill.
New prisoner. Connelly, IRA member and terrorist extraordinaire. McManus and Leo meet in Leo's office to discuss amongst themselves. He's coming to Oz because, according to Leo, in the Federal prisons he kept getting death threats. McManus wants him in…wait for it…Em City. Glynn says, "You just want him in so you can study his every move." McManus admits he's "intrigued." Whatever. "Study his every move," my ass. He can't even keep the dudes from sniffing smack under the damn stairs, but he wants a terrorist in so he can watch him for…what? He probably needs a damn water boy for his little tournament of helmets. We see Connelly enter Tim's office with his little pillow and blanket. I personally think that would be toughest part of prison. Having only one pillow and blanket. My bed is literally a nest, with a fort of pillows arranged all around and then me, in the middle, wrapped like a burrito. McManus greets him. Connelly just stares. Looks like they won't be best friends after all. McManus tries harder: "I've been following your situation, so I know how fucked up it is…I took the liberty of calling your lawyer." Basically, since Connelly is litigating to stay in the U.S., he doesn't represent a flight risk. Bail will be set, and everyone will get a cookie. Connelly acknowledges that it is indeed "good news" and leaves without another word. That boy is gonna be trouble, y'all mark my words. As he walks through Em City, we see Jia pecking at the cage to be let out; Ryan, upon spotting Connelly, pecks at Cyril to alert him that another one of their kind is in the pokey. Pancamo makes a comment about "another dumb, spud-eating mick" and I have to say, being part Irish myself, I just don't find that to be very clever or offensive, and quite frankly, if that's the best Pancamo can do, well, I just give him a pat on the head and send him on his way to bang pots together or something.
Ryan bursts excitedly into Connelly's pod to introduce himself, but before he can finish saying his own name, Connelly demands he "step back." Ryan's like, "Wha? I just came to…" Connelly interrupts to repeat that he needs to step back into the doorway. Ryan: "All right, I like that, you're a soldier, cautious." No, Ryan, he just told you what to do. Connelly wants to know how Ryan knows his name; Ryan explains that "on TV" they saw how he had executed Captain Harley. Connelly says that wasn't what happened. They didn't execute him. Ryan starts to object to Connelly's dismissive air and tells him that everyone is watching them right now, and by Ryan's body language when he leaves the pod, they'll know "what's what between them." He goes on to explain that in Oz, everyone hangs with their own kind. To which Connelly says, "Because your name is O'Reily, that makes us the same?" Ryan insists that it does. Connelly leans over and horks some spit in the toilet, then continues brushing his teeth: "I won't be here long enough to need your friendship so have a nice walk." Ryan leaves and tries to walk down the corridor without looking like he just got dissed.
The gym. Timmy Kirk and Jim Burns enter to find Connelly doing push-ups. They try to recruit him for Reverend Dylan's bible study. Connelly asks who Dylan is. Burns says that "today is [his] conversion day," or they're going to beat him silly. I love how they are men of God now. Connelly attacks Burns; they start to scuffle, but Kirk tells Burns to get off because McManus is coming. Tim asks who started it, and they all say they were "boxing." McManus tells Kirk and Burns to get the fuck out and turns to Connelly: "If you want, I can put you in protective custody." He practically coos and starts picking lint off of his shirt. I think he likes him. Connelly just says, "Sounds very confining, so, no thank you." He leaves. scene is Connelly meeting with his lawyer, who tells him the bail hearing did happen, but the Justice Department specifically asked the court to deny him bail. The case may go all the way to the Supreme Court, so he's going to be in Oz a while. I sure didn't see THAT coming! I thought for sure he'd be right out of there. As my pause button wears off, I see that Entertainment Tonight is doing a special on forgotten stars, and Sally Struthers is doing an interview where she says she's had very few dates in the last twenty years. The whole interview is a shout-out to Jessica and myself because, as we were heading to Vegas to meet other MBTV folks, we passed a casino that looked, from a distance, like the lights of Vegas, we had finally arrived! Except we hadn't. It was a tiny oasis of lost souls and sitcom stars, and the shining marquee read, "Sally Struthers starring in Annie Get Your Gun." We laughed and laughed and continued chewing our Red Vines, secretly hoping we wouldn't crack from being in car so long. Anyway, in the interview, Sally is totally talking about a musical she did in Vegas and I think it's funny. It wasn't "technically" in Vegas. It was outside of Vegas. Okay, back to Oz.
Ryan visiting with his new mommy. He's asking her why she left. Did his dad beat her? Nope. Did he cheat? Nope. She was barely seventeen and the "world was new," so she ran off. Ryan says he hates his dad and he would never blame her for leaving, but didn't she miss him? She tells him, "From the day I made you to the day I left, you were the only happiness I ever had." That's why she left. Because he was her only happiness. Makes sense that she wouldn't take her only happiness with her, I mean, obviously the best thing to do would be leaving your child with a man that you were unhappy with, so he could then raise said child to grow up into a fine criminal. She does acknowledge that she was young and didn't realize it all, but still. When she comments about having a three-month-old and being a child herself, Ryan does some math in his head. He corrects her and says, "It's Cyril you're thinking of, Cyril was the baby." "No, Ryan, you were the baby." She tells him that Cyril isn't hers, that he's Ryan's half-brother. The music of plot thickening plays as I think to myself, what's the big deal? They are still brothers. They still share a father. So they don't have the same mom, it's not like she just told him Cyril is his father or something. That would be gross. Cut to the O'Reily pod of new developments. Ryan talks to Cyril, who is lying in his cot, about summers in Indiana on Uncle Bill's farm and how when Ryan tried to boss the other kids around, everyone left, but Cyril stayed with him. He asks Cyril if he did that out of fear that Ryan would beat him up…or because they are brothers. He turns to Cyril, who is fast asleep. Ryan broods.
The day, in the gym, Ryan coaches Cyril as they practice boxing. Jia walks in, saying he wasn't able to exercise while in the cage with no room to move. Ryan tells him they're trying to work out, so shut up. Jia starts to stand on his head, and Cyril says he wants to try it. Ryan starts to stop him and Cyril irritably pushes Ryan's hand off him; Jia, pleased that Cyril wants to learn from him, starts telling him he'll teach him all kinds of things "better than that bullshit boxing." Cyril wants to learn. Jia takes him down and Ryan flips out, so Jia turns on him just as Cyril gets up and, of course, he attacks Jia for messing with Ryan. He hits Jia one time and he's out. The hacks hold Cyril back, and we then see blood pooling to Jia's head. Ryan sees it and whispers, "Oh fuck."
Warden's office. Gloria enters. Leo asks about Jia. He's in a coma. Tim says, "Another knock-out for Cyril O'Reily." Pete chides him, "Jia provoked Cyril." Tim thinks they should just ship Cyril off to the Connolly Institute. Gloria argues that it would be a "tragic mistake." Tim" "For who?" Actually, Tim, that would be "whom," but since this isn't a show that practices proper grammar, I don't go there. Well, maybe with you, because I almost always want to thump you in the nose till you cry. God! He is such a pompous windbag! Gloria disagrees with Tim and thinks that Ryan is Cyril's "only lifeline to reality, and if we separate them, he's going to spiral into lunacy." McManus says, "We keep him here, he gets into more fights, maybe puts someone else in a coma...I think we should transfer him out today." Gloria tells him he's being cruel. Tim would rather be cruel than blind. Oh, don't get me started on how blind you are, McRib! I think that ever since Gloria rallied to have Ryan and Cyril participate in the aging pill experiment, Tim senses that she likes Ryan, and for that reason didn't want to hook up with him. What he needs to realize is that maybe she just finds him repulsive. Or maybe that's me. Pete has an alternative. Place Cyril in protective custody and allow Ryan regular visits. Gloria likes the idea; so does Leo, who probably slept through the whole discussion. Tim says, "Fine, as long as he's out of my hair." And…what hair would that be, apple-head?
O'Reily pod. Cyril's packing his pudding cups and telling Ryan that he "doesn't want to go." Ryan tells him he has to or they will send him far away. Cyril starts to scrunch his face up and cry. Ryan comforts him and strokes his head. Scott Winters actually does a good job here. Ryan walks him out and tells him to be tough. Morales walks over to Ryan and tells him he "owes [him] for eliminating Jia." Ryan sort of ignores him since he just sent his brother packing. We see Arif staring at Ryan until Ryan says, "You got a problem, friend?" Arif walks away. Later, in Said's pod for the red-shirted sitting ducks, Arif confesses to him that he witnessed Ryan murdering Patrick Keenan. We see the helpful flashback. He tells Said that he wants to go to the authorities, or Ryan will continue hurting people. We cut to Ryan telling Glynn that it's all bullshit and that "Patrick was [his] friend." Leo says, "The informant has no motive to lie." Ryan slys that, when the TV crew was shooting in Oz, he didn't tell them about Adebesi, even though he could have. Leo asks him if that means he expects the favor returned. Ryan confirms that, and Leo yells, "Fuck you!" He plans to investigate the charges, and if he finds any evidence, Ryan is headed to death row.
Infirmary. Gloria rushing towards a bed containing Ryan while the nurse explains that he "just collapsed." He opens his eyes when the nurse leaves and Gloria says, "Ryan?" He admits he faked it just to talk to her. She snaps, "You scared the shit out of me!" He asks if they can talk in private. They go into an examining room. Ryan: "You realize this is the first time we've ever been alone?" Marvin Gaye starts piping in the room, and they start dancing towards each other. Okay, no they don't. Gloria tells him she needs to get back out there. "Everything's turning to shit, Gloria, there's a good chance Cyril will be sent away and that I'll be sent to death row for whacking Keenan." "What? How?" "Someone jabbered on me to the warden…wasn't you, was it?" He leans in all close, and she looks back at him nervously: "No." He looks at her and whispers, "Those eyes don't lie." At this point, I would have grabbed him and macked all over the table because he's tasty when he whispers. But that's just me. She tells him to go on. He tells her he heard she may lose her medical license, which means he'll never see her again. She says, "I know." He has a proposition. He leans closer and tells her to not answer right away, he wants her to "really think about what [he is] going to ask [her]." She gulps, "Which is?" "I want you to help…Cyril and me…escape." D'oh!
Hill. "Myths are supposed to teach us something." He asks what we have learned here. Uh, that Ryan gets away with most things? And, when he doesn't, he flirts with a cute doctor until she helps him?
week, it's the to the last show, and it's possible parole for Beecher by the week. We see Said in the hole (naked!), and basketball games continue. Connelly asks Ryan to help him blow up Oz. Megyn further investigates the power of the pizza Hot Pocket and why she can't seem to eat enough of them.