I just noticed that the opening-credits music sounds like porn music.
Hill. Lying on his side while waxing idiotic about snow. It's like this: It sucks when, like, it snows, and you get your car stuck, or you step in a puddle and you're wearing your good shoes for that meeting you have to attend at work, right? But in Oz, they don't notice the weather because, well, they're in prison. And now you know. And knowing is half the battle. The other half of the battle is the blood gushing from my ear because my brain can't take all this wisdom.
Murphy trudges up the stairs to turn the lights on, 'cause it's time for those bad kiddies to wake up, greet the day they'll never see, and get to steppin' ten feet away from their pods to do a whole lotta nothing. We see Ryan awaken, and he's got drool on his face. Because HBO is keeping it real. He rubs his eyes sleepily and spies Cyril checking himself out in the mirror. He asks if he's okay, and we see that Cyril's hair is slowly returning to normal. Now, I've never been gray or anything and, having almost black hair that can't be colored in any way unless I want an adventure in rusty orange streaks, I can't say I'm an expert on the art of hair dying, but…wouldn't his hair still be gray and it would just grow back normally? Rather than, poof! Hey, look me over! I'm blond. Anyway, Ryan says "holy shit" and walks over to finger the miracle of nature, and Cyril blinks and furrows his brow while clicking and whirring. Dear Tom Fontana: That plot really sucked. Love, me. , we see Dr. Gloria "to the heart pill pop ya don't stop-stop" Nathan, going over the details of how nobody but poor dead Wick suffered from her diabolical drug testing with Sister Pete, thus neatly wrapping up one of the main plot lines and depositing it into the "special" receptacle labeled "conceived after numerous bong hits." Enter Murphy, who yaddas about snow and lots of it and "I'm just here to establish the premise for this show with my yadda-snow-yadda-blizzard-and-oh-yeah….javahhhhhhhhh." Then he asks about McManus, to which Gloria purrs that she stopped by to see him, he's in great spirits and should be back week. I guess he heals the way soap-opera children age.
Flashback of Wick's head being lifted by Hoyt while sticky blood oozes from his nose and mouth. This sets the scene, in which a lawyer-man comes a-callin' on Gloria to tell her he's been retained by the Wygert Corporation for Really Bad Ideas, and that Wick's family will be suing to the tune of twenty five million. The bad news? She's been named as a co-defendant. "I am?" an incredulous Gloria asks. He tells her to relax; he's confident the family will settle. However, and here's where the news gets super-nasty-bad, The State Medical Board of Ethics wants to review the case and decide whether there was any malpractice on her part, which means she could lose her license and have to give her stethoscope back. That really blows for Gloria. Cue the music of a fan somewhere being turned to "high" and the shit waiting to leap into it as she walks down that gray corridor -- you all know the one -- and finds herself staring into the flashbulbs of paparazzi, who have all turned up to find out why she did such a dumb thing and went and cut her hair. Oh, and they ask about the "aging pill" as she backs up, turns, and walks back up the gray corridor with her fluffy tail between her legs.
Common area. Ryan is told by a CO that he has a visitor. "Who?" "Some lady." Hey, thanks, guy. Ryan proceeds to the visiting room, the one reinforced with bullet-and-shank-proof windowed stalls and phone receivers. I don't know about you, but I've always thought I would feel really silly talking into a phone receiver while looking at the person I'm talking to. I don't know -- I'm conditioned to believe that I need the phone because the person is somewhere else. Hell, I feel stupid when my boss calls me from his office and I can hear him both in the receiver and a few feet behind me. I feel even more so when he yells, "Hey! Stupid!" Anyway, Ryan approaches the stall where Suzanne Fitzgerald, a.k.a. Betty Buckley, waits. He picks up his little bat-phone and suspiciously asks if they know each other. "Yes, but we haven't seen each other since you were a child." Ryan enlightens her to the fact that he ain't too big on nostalgia so cut to the chase. She tells him she has something to say that he "may find hard to believe" -- pause while she licks her lips like a lizard. Ryan smiles wearily as he smells that this plot is getting that "not so fresh" feeling. "Try me." And she presses the red button, which releases the bomb: "I'm your mother." Ryan's face melts away slowly as he absorbs this little factoid. "My mother's dead." She starts to explain, but Ryan screams, "My mother's DEAD!" as he bangs down the phone, startling her, and leaves. She sits in her plaid shirt, formerly worn by the Brawny Paper Towel guy, and gapes.
we see Ryan gettin' jiggy with Claire, because Tom Fontana likes to see me cry. He really does. Ryan's really white ass mocks me as Claire looks bored and pushes him off. She says something about Halloween, and I opt for the higher road rather than the easy joke. He tells her he's had "stuff on his mind," and she assures him she doesn't "give a shit." She pulls up her pants, saying the thrill is gone and it's time for her to "move on." God I can SO see where this is going, and I'm already grossed out. I have seen enough Claire action to last a few lifetimes and I really don't need her getting it on with his brother. God. Please. No. Do you want to hurt me? Do you?!?! (Insert recapper throwing back head and Snoopy-crying, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!")
Unit J-is-for-jailbird. Cyril arrives to deliver lunch to the bad cops. Un-funny dialogue between Alvin and Mobay about how much Alvin, the redneck, eats. Over his shoulder, Mobay tells Clayton lunch is there, because he's deaf and blind, to which Clayton says, "Fuck you." Nice. Cue Claire sidling up to Cyril all, "Hey blondie…you afraid of me? You don't have to be afraid of me. I'm good friends with your brother. I'd like to be friends with you too." Just before Barney the damn purple dinosaur jiggles in to sing a song, she tweaks Cyril's bum, which causes him to grab a tray and pop her good. She stops him while another CO joins in and restrains him. She beats him with her ugly stick. So he won all those boxing matches, but Claire was able to stop him from beating her. Riiiiight. Cut to the room of pointless discussion as Gloria tells Ryan, in the company of Murphy, that Claire told them Cyril "attacked her without provocation." Ryan's pissed and says she's lying. Gloria says Cyril will sleep in the ward that night, and Murphy points out to Ryan that these "attacks" of Cyril's are becoming frequent and may lead to his transfer to the loony place where the rooms are soft and the pudding flows like butter. Ryan, for a change, flips out and causes Murphy to remove him from the room as Ryan begs Gloria to help him. Because she's just "gotta." Because they're "in love" and are going to "do it" soon because she is a "sell-out."
scene: we see Ryan greeting his dad in a visiting area minus the phones and stalls. Ryan's got his hair all slickered to the side like a young whippersnapper on his way to church. No wonder his dad hates him. Dad says they may get fifteen inches of snow by Thursday and bitches about having to be on the roads; in other words, he's bitching about having to visit his son. Ryan tells his dad of Cyril's possible transfer. Dad's all, "So?" Ryan gets mad and says that, at least in Oz, Cyril has him. Dad O'Reils him up and asks him what this is "really about?" Ryan says, "Suzanne Fitzgerald." This causes dad to wig out, much like Ryan earlier, and he calls new-mommy names and claims she's "a liar," to which Ryan repeats, "It's true!" over and over until I want to hit him with a skillet. Dad leaves to brave the roads back to the trailer park from whence he came while Ryan absorbs the impact. Where should he run for comfort? We don't have to wait long to find out, since this is cable and that means NO commercials, which means I'm only nine minutes into this and see no escape any time soon. Which means, if this were a Survivor-esque recap, my one luxury item would be either a crack pipe or a gun. Ryan and Gloria discuss the new development and how to possibly track down his new mom. He explains that he "chased her out," so now he doesn't know where to begin looking. To which Gloria pipes up, "Maybe I can find her." "Would you?" Ryan preens while she doe-eyes him. "And this bullshit, about sending Cyril away…you'll fix that too?" She says she can't "make any promises," and he puts his hand over hers and asks that she at least try. We see her look down at his hand over hers as she sighs, "Ryan…" He interrupts, "Please. Don't let them separate us." Cyril appears, and Ryan jumps up to help lead Cyril out of the room. He turns back to Gloria and tells her he knows she'll "do what's right." She stares off into the distance as his manipulation swirls around her like a dense cloud of stank.
Flashback. Clayton shooting Gov. Gremlin, who I have now decided looks like Mr. Mxyztptlk. We cut back to present day as Clayton visits with his mom. She asks after him and is relieved to know he is housed with other cops. He's "safe." He proceeds to say bitter things about how she and Leo "treated him like china" all his life because his dad got shanked when Clayton was seven years old. He bitches at her for being too protective, and instead of giving him a good smack for being sassy and ungrateful, she asks what she should have done. He yaps about "knowing [his] true self." He stares menacingly off into the distance and muses about what he was "born to do." She asks him what he's planning. He claims "nothing." I will pay top dollar for somebody to kill him. He's boring and stupid.
This is my favorite scene. Robson wheels the mail into Unit J while Al and Mobay arm-wrestle. He first delivers a letter to Mobay and smirks, "Another letter from your wife. She sounds worse and worse. I think you should let her come visit." Mobay glares and sarcastically thanks him for reading his private mail. Robson snarks, "My pleasure." And turns his attention to Al, who receives magazines, one of them being a nudie-mag that Robson already scoped out for him, so as to tip him to where the best pictures are. As Robson turns to go, he looks at Clayton and does an air-jab while saying "Oooh, nothing for you today, tough guy." Clayton mutters, "Bite me." Shout-out? I think so, because I always say that. And that means I own it. Robson, turns and lisps, "Where?" which makes Clayton lunge for him. Claire restrains Clayton and tells him if he "keeps it up, [she'll] have to spank him." When she tells Robson to leave, he shouts, "Yes SIR!" and makes obscene gestures at Clayton while grabbing his crotch. It's just funny. I'm kind of digging Robson lately. Not like that, ya perv, I just think he's funny. Clayton gets locked in his cell and he spits to Claire, "Uncuff me!" She retorts, "First you have to learn not to run with scissors!" Clayton huffs around his cell while Mobay and Alvin shake their heads, tsk-tsking at the anger of it all. Mobay observes to Al that they've "tried being nice," and maybe they should talk to the warden. Well, Leo certainly will have the time to listen…he's never doing anything anyway.
Waiting area outside Leo's office. "Bore"-ia trying pathetically to open one of her desk drawers, and Mobay sits there like drooling-idiot-boy and offers to help. He, of course, opens it quite easily, which pisses me off. The whole storyline around Bore-ia pisses me off, actually. She's stupid and prissy. And hyper. Leo opens his office door and tells John/Mobay to come in. Mobay compliments Leo on his redecorated office. Oh, shut up. It's not that great. Mobay tells him he's there to talk about Clayton. Leo assumes he's there to lecture him on not visiting the crackpot enough and starts apologizing up and down. Then the subject gets turned to Mobay's marriage and how he hasn't called his wife or allowed her to come visit. Dialogue about needing to overcome his feeling of mortification and "chin-up!" while Leo advises him to not push her away too may times, or she may just ease on down the road to someone NOT in jail who actually will talk to her. we see Mobay on the payphone back in Unit J, asking his wife to come see him. Sometimes, I swear I hear his old accent.
Hi Hill! I NEVER thought I'd say this but man, I am happy to see you! Those Unit J scenes were getting a tad long and your monologues always tell me we're moving right alon…oh God, what are you…are you singing? Oh GOD shut up! No, I don't care if it's "snowing" outside or how delightful the fire inside is…wha? No…I don't think the show would fire you if you have a sip of my…hey! I NEED that, Hill! Get your own! Jeeez! And stop with the jazz hands!
Common room. Hoyt questions everyone on whether they're cold or not. Because it's snowing out. Pancamo tells him to put on a sweater. Cut to the popular table, sans Keller, as Beecher approaches Ryan and Rebadow on when Busmalis is getting married. Rebadow says, "Tomorrow." Beecher wants to do something for him. Ryan winces, "Like what?" Beecher suggests a bachelor party, incomplete with no hookers or alcohol. Sounds like a non-good time to me. Rebadow points this out to him, and Beecher gets all sensitive and says, "Fine," and to forget he brought it up, before stamping off and pouting in a corner as he presses one of Keller's old wife-beaters to his face and inhales deeply. Rebadow watches him go and says to Ryan that Beecher "misses Keller." Ryan says simply, "I don't," and proceeds to ask Rebadow if he is the best man in the ceremony. Upon confirmation of this, Ryan predicts the marriage is doomed and leaves the table. Cyril, who by the way was sitting there the whole time, zips up his sweat jacket and follows him.
Lights out. The geri-pod. Busmalis and Rebadow discuss the impending nuptials while lying in their respective bunk beds, much like two schoolgirls having a sleep-over and talking about boys. Busmalis is resting his cheek on his palm and staring into the dark as Rebadow reassures him that it is not crazy to marry a younger woman while serving time in prison. Busmalis broaches the subject of consummating the marriage or, rather, not being able to. His partner-in-senility fixed that by speaking to Pete about allowing the couple, on their wedding night only, to rock the cradle of love, to which Bus glazes over and moons, "Norma and I are going to romp through Cupid's grove." Uh. Right. Shocker that you've never gotten any. Busmalis is leaning down to stare dreamily at Rebadow; his dreaminess turns to a bit of shyness as he says, "You're gonna have to tell me what to do…with Norma…in bed." Okay, yeah, Rebadow will school him on the ways of forbidden love. Because, after thirty five years of imprisonment, Rebadow knows SO much about wild sex, as he has, through the internet, kept abreast of the recent tantric "phenomenon" the kids keep talking about, not to mention that he's a huge fan of Sting, so he's just the codger to do the coaching. Anyway, so they're gonna do it. Rebadow rolls on his back and echoes the sentiments shared by Ryan earlier: "This marriage is doomed." Yeah, whatever, Kreskin.
Wedding day. Busmalis stands and waits…and waits, while Mukada becomes Excusa DeVille about Norma and how she's got to be "on her way" and held up by the…wait for it…"flurries," currently fluttering upon the world of half-baked drama as Busmalis sweats bulldogs and waits in his borrowed suit from the closet of Herb Tarleck while waiting for the woman who dreaded sundown to appear. Rebadow offers that she "may have even gotten a flat tire" while grimacing furiously and looking creepy. Busmalis jumps on this story and humps its leg while eagerly saying that Norma told him recently she's been hearing a strange "ping" in her engine. Mukada agrees while clutching his bouquet from FTD and silently hoping that, when it's thrown, he'll be the one to catch it. Sister Pete suddenly appears, her hair all combed neatly since she and Dean Winters clearly share a stylist, and announces to all three stooges that she called the studio where they make Miss Sally and was told by the person who answered that Not-Miss-Sally hasn't been seen all day. Busmalis is all, "My sweetie took off of work." Prompting Pete to begin her personal list of reasons why the bride-to-be hasn't shown up yet. Mukada interrupts her excuses to clarify, "Pete. We've already been there." Which shuts her up good. She turns to Busmalis: "Well, you look very nice." He then claims it's the "happiest day of [his] life" while everyone squirms. I gotta say, pretty good scene on everyone's part. Especially Rita Moreno.
Mukada's office o' conversion. The scene consists of Mukada talking to an inmate named Samuel. Samuel wants to convert to Catholicism. Mukada beams proudly as he reminds Samuel that Reverend Dylan may not want that for young Samuel so much. Samuel gives not one rat's ass. Mukada beams so bright, I gotta wear shades.
Bible interpretation by Reverend Dylan. Mukada walks through the service and, short of carrying a big sign festooned with ribbons and glitter topped by a large headshot of God and reading "Mukada rules, Cloutier drools" on it, conveys to all that he won at least one Samuel in this round.
Library. Take one smug Mukada, add a splash of conniving Dylan, shake vigorously, and you've got yourself one red-eyed recapper with a virtual buffet of caffeine, alcohol, and water in front of her shaky typing hands, wishing they would get over themselves. Mukada insincerely states, "I hope you're not upset that Samuel has decided to become a Catholic." Cloutier: "If by upset, you mean angry, no…but I am fearful for his soul." Mukada's head turns round and round as he forces a tight smile: "His soul will be fine, believe me." Childish sniping ensues, including Dylan accusing Mukada of keeping score on who can save the most souls, in such a calm manner that Mukada can't answer in anything but a sputter. He denies all charges while Timmy and Dylan corner the market on smug and depart. We then cut to Timmy asking Robson if he can take care of something for him. Robson wants to know if he's got the cash. scene is Samuel being wheeled into the infirmary while some guy tells Gloria what's causing the large amount of swollen flesh on poor Samuel's face. Squeezing balloon music.
Said's pod of conflicted torment. Father Mukada waits for Arif the doorman to allow him access. He quite obviously needs to talk but fronts that he just brought the schedule for Said, showing the times he may hold services in the cafeteria. Said gives him the look of "I know something's amiss, talk to me my son." But says, "There is nothing else?" Mukada laughs with relief since he may now spill the beans without having to ask. "I made an assumption about the Reverend Cloutier, that he was a phony." He admits that when Timmy wanted to switch to the Reverend's congregation, rather than remaining Catholic, it bugged him and he made a judgment, rather than reveling in the fact that Timmy was still celebrating God. He admits to wanting him to do it through "the one true church," which would be Mukada's. Said dispenses the wisdom that as long as they all march to a higher drummer, we must accept how they choose to do it. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but I think you all get the gist. Cut to Mukada telling Reverend Dylan that he wants to talk to him. He wants to throw an ecumenical service, and Dylan says that he was thinking the exact same thing. Everybody's friends now, joining hands together and being one, blah blah blah. I'm all warm inside. They apologize to each other for acting like assholes. Mukada claims that their sins are their bond. Whatever gets you through, Mukada. We cut to the recording of "We Are The World," already in progress. Mukada is joined by Said, Cloutier, and the priest guy. Mukada is leading by explaining that in the house of God, there are many rooms. Each room holds His presence as much as the other. As he talks, we pan around the inmates, some listening, some not; others are watching in amazement as the fishcakes fall out of Mukada's mouth and splatter on the floor, only to then be flattened by the POINT OF IT ALL as it falls from the sky, crashes through the ceiling, and lands with a note fastened to the top on which the golden words are written, "Dear All -- Even I want you to move on, they get it -- Love, God A. Mighty."
Hill, playing in the snow. We all long for a time we've never been a part of. In essence, mankind sucks ass and we are all going to kill each other. All this said while black-and-white images of happier times play in the background. I put my VCR on pause while I get up from my office chair, take the elevator down to the lobby, walk across the street, narrowly escape a rabid rollerblader as he whizzes by me, walk to the HBO building, take the elevator up to the eighteenth floor, get off at the HBO offices, walk past the objecting receptionist, enter the office of the head guy, and sock him in the gut for getting me all depressed and shit before plodding back to the elevator and returning to my building.
Library. Dylan talks to Schillinger about how God never puts more on a person than they can handle; Schillinger says that "God is a sick fuck." You gotta love him for his candor, because you can see that he's really trying to just get help while grieving for Hank. Reverend begins to gently chide Vern's internal editor for not catching that one, but Vern interrupts by getting to the reason that he's particularly upset. Carrie is on her way to visit and he has to deliver the news that Hank is dead, which may cause another delivery…but we'll get to that in a minute. Schillinger feels bad that he has been reassuring her that everything would be okay, that Hank would be home soon, and now he has to tell her Hank will be home, but in a box, with a hole in his head. Vern looks pretty distressed. Amazing how they are doing this to me. I love him, I hate him, I feel sorry for him. Stupid Vern gets me all tangled up inside. He rises and leaves the room, his Bible still on the table. Uh…he might need that in a minute.
Visiting room; a couple makes out while Carrie waits. Vern enters like the angel of death. He says, "There she is!" and tells her not to get up, hugs her, and listens as she explains she was late because she "had to scrape the snow off the windshield all by [herself]." He asks how she feels; she says "fat," and then tells him the doctor told her she may deliver earlier than her due date. "Carrie…I got some news, and it's not good." He tells her he needs her to be strong. She says okay and adjusts herself in her chair. "Hank was killed." She absorbs this and begins whining a bit, then crying and saying "no, no, no" over and over as she gets up and moans around the room. He rises to comfort her, and she yells about how she's going to live with a baby and "no fucking husband" and works herself up into a labor pain. Vern yells for a doctor, and we cut to Dr. Nathan's infirmary-of-love. Carrie screams and sweats while Gloria tells her to "keep breathing," and Vern stands behind Carrie in scrubs and looks decidedly uncomfortable and a bit scared. After Carrie tells Gloria to fuck off for telling her to push, the head appears, and Vern looks like he'll throw up at any moment. Fuzzies all around when Gloria shows the baby to Rosemary and everybody smiles. Vern smiles, then looks sick again.
Cue the rape flashback so that we all know the new inmate, Colonel Edward, is a fuckwad. He gets introduced to Beecher, his new roommate. Do they not have any other damn pod to put these people in? It's getting to be a joke. It really is. Colonel sort of brushes aside Beecher's greeting, which was half-hearted anyway. Cut to the revolving pod as Beecher sits on the throne and goes big potty. That-a-boy! Break the new roomie in quick! Mark your territory! Show us your goods! Beecher tells his new friend he saw on the news how he became Colonel (in the) Clink. Clink says he broke the "code of honor" and deserves his punishment. Beecher wipes his ass and stands up to show us, for one brief moment, how cold the pod has gotten since all that snow fell. Clink tells him he won't have any trouble adapting to Em City, since he's used to being in the company of men. A fight erupts outside; Beecher smirks and quips, "Okay then!"
Group therapy. Pete asks Clink what he likes to be called -- Ed, Eddie? Julia Roberts calls to say that Edward is her favorite name in the whole world. Ryan looks bored. "I prefer Colonel." Pete's all, "Ohhh-kay, Colonel, do you want to talk about your addiction?" He doesn't believe it's an addiction, per se, but rather a mild case of not having any control of his actions when drinking excessive amounts, such as raping a fellow officer. He says it won't happen again. Beecher disputes this. Clink tells Beecher that only a weak man can't maintain control. Beecher admits he may be weak, but at least he has the "balls to admit it." Sister Pete tells him that'll be quite enough as the bell rings and they all skip off to recess.
TV time, and it's everybody's favorite game show. Miles Silverberg is the celebrity guest. Burr, watching the show, mutters, "Murphy Brown…funny show." Ryan sleazes that he loves Candice Bergen and her boobies. Morales says, "The other girl was cute." Beecher gets the answer correct, the question being that more people in China speak English than in America. Jia leans forward and says even he didn't know that. Wow, and he looked so bright, too. Rebadow says that Beecher should go on the show. Every time Rebadow speaks, I think he should hold a flashlight up to his face. It would just go with the expression he wears. Beecher mocks that yeah, he should really go on a game show and introduce himself as the drunk driver who killed a child. He leaves. Rebadow looks amused, even though it wasn't funny.
We then see Beecher sitting at a computer in Pete's office, and Pete walks in with a lawyer from the Alliance of Prisoners Rights who wants to talk to Beecher. Catherine the lawyer shakes Beecher's hand and says "hello." I think there may have been a flicker of attraction there, but maybe it's me. They all sit down, and she asks him if he's aware he's up for parole. He is aware, but knows he has to serve at least four years of his sentence until then and in light of his crime, he figures that he won't be granted parole. She disagrees and points out the extenuating circumstances, i.e. his wife and Gary being dead, Holly's need for her father, and his improved behavior in the past six months. Toby looks like he might cry, and as he collects himself, Sister asks if he's okay. He asks what he has to do, and Catherine says, "Give me permission and I'll set the wheels in motion…in the meantime, stay out of trouble."
Cut back to the revolving pod; Colonel Clink is shaving, and he asks if Beecher's a "faggot." He tells Beecher not to "get any ideas," and goes on to take a dump out of his mouth as he spouts about gays ruining the military and "don't ask don't tell my ass" while all twenty dogs underneath the sagging porch of Clink's house bay at the moon and wake the chickens. Beecher comes back with how the military should just stay the way it is, with a bunch of redneck he-men who murder children and rape women. Clink turns and asks if he's making a joke of Clink; Beecher tells Clink he "does a pretty good job of that on his own." Clink grabs Beecher, Beecher goes for the groin, but instead of the usual, he hits it. Oh no. The hacks bust in to grab Beech and take him to the birdcage of non-discipline. Oopsie! No parole for you!
Hill sitting in his frozen cell, making a snowball. He hands it to me and I, in turn, throw it at him and run away, laughing.
Sister Pete's office. Jackson the Fox in attendance. She asks him why he's in jail. He tells her to look at the file right in front of her. She calls him on that by saying how it's hard to "say what you've done." He claims it's because he didn't do anything, that the girl went along willingly. The bell rings. She schedules him for another appointment the following day. He asks why, and says the sessions don't help him. Sister makes with the sarcasm as she says, "Well, it's helping me…you see, I have quotas to fill and everyday, I have to see a certain amount of prisoners or the state just won't pay me." Jackson gets up and starts to leave. She asks him if she "needs" to test him again for drugs, even though his last test was clean. He says, "No." She says she believes him...for now. Jackson goes to the cafeteria. He goes to Burr and says he needs better drugs because the last supply didn't get him high enough. Poet tells Jackson that's because he's been sniffing enough blow to kill a horse, and Jackson tells him to stow it. Burr says, "What Poet's trying to tell you, in his own surly style, is that you've been snorting so much every day, combined with your size, you've done developed yourself a tolerance." Jackson wants more. Burr says more will only kill him and, after grunting for a minute, suggests he begin shooting up instead. He tells him to be careful where he sticks it. Jackson asks where he should do it. Burr suggests "behind your knee." Cut to the Foxhole. Lights out. He springs into action by lighting the smack and preparing to inject it. He uses a mirror to see what he's doing and, of course, he sees his reflection in it, which prompts a brief flashback of former greatness. He doesn't do the smack. This After-School Special was brought to you by The Obvious. Cut to the group, the day. Fox talks of his dependence on drugs and how although he'll never see another pro game, he doesn't want to forget that his legs are what got him out of the projects. He made something of himself. Oddly enough, Ryan and the rest actually listen and seem to care. Hill just looks guilty.
Cut to flashback of Supreme being stabbed by Carlton "Tug" Daniels. He's in Oz now. We cut directly to Burr having a board meeting. He tells his crew that "the time for action is upon us." He instructs Tug to waste Pancamo. Jia leans over and hisses that he wants Morales because he "made a promise." Burr then tells Hill to "get word to Omar White." Who is in the infirmary. He wants Omar to finish off Supreme Allah. Cut to the cafeteria. Everyone gives their assigned hits the stink-eye. Hill finds Burr and expresses concern about the war they are about to wage. Hill asks why people have to die and what exactly Burr hopes to gain, since the warden will toss Burr right in solitary once he finds out he's the ringleader. Burr asks Hill what his problem is. Hill says that with Burr being his dad's best friend, and his dad having gone off with Burr to 'Nam and Burr coming back, alone, Hill has followed Burr and done what he said. Never questioned him. When he wanted a job at ten years old, Burr had him selling drugs instead of letting him get a paper route. Cue Burr's ramble of how there were "no other options" and he does what he has to do to get by in this sad, crazy world. Hill calls him on his bullshit by saying, "You don't have to tell me about reality. I live in Oz. I live in this chair." He leans closer to Burr and says, "I wouldn't be here if you'd let me have the goddamned, motherfucking paper route!" Burr turns to glare. Hill glares back and rolls away. Burr sits and stews. It seems like all Burr ever does is eat.
Cut to the shower of gratuitous frontals. Said and Hill talk about the situation, and Said tells him he admires Hill. That Hill has a sense of decency and honor. Hill asks Said what good any of that does him. Said: "You get to sleep through the night." Cut to Hill in the common area, telling Murphy he needs to talk to him. They exit together, which cuts us to the SWAT team gearing up to ward off the impending riot. Then we cut to the infirmary, where Omar tells Supreme that he's thirsty and could he please fetch him some water. Supreme acts like his usual ass self and doesn't want to, but he finally get tired enough of Omar's whining to get up and do it. Cut to the gym, where Jia starts his engines on killing off Morales, who is playing basketball. He's backed up by Tug and the rest of the hit-and-run boys. We shift back to Supreme lowering a cup with a straw to Omar's mouth. Then cut back to the gym where Pancamo gets the ball knocked out of his hands and it rolls over to the boys. Jia picks up the ball and sticks it with his shank. Back to Supreme and Omar. Omar pulls a shank from underneath the bed and tries to stab him. Back to the gym as the hacks in face masks rush in and stop the fighting. Everyone is held back while shouting insults to the other team. And back to Omar as the more hacks prevent him from doing Supreme. Cut to Murphy, hanging up the phone in the common room and yelling "Lockdown!" Burr slowly looks across to Hill, who looks like a bad, bad dog.
Hill. Acceptance of one's fate. Best way to go.
Glynn walks to a cell in death row. He asks Giles to pick the manner in which he's like to be executed. Giles answers, "Die? Old. Sleep?" Glynn shakes his head sadly and tells him that's not an option. Giles then says, "Peter? Peter Marie?" Glynn says he'll go get her and leaves. Giles starts crying and is all pitiful. Moses tells him not to cry and that it's getting him down. He keeps crying. Moses yells at him. Cut to Peter's office as she goes over each method Giles can choose. When she goes over the gas method, Giles asks, "Stoned?" She looks at him and says, "Gee, I don't know if that gas makes you high." He shakes his head and clarifies that he means to be stoned to death, with actual rocks. She's like, "Wait a minute, you want to be stoned to death?" He replies, "Shirley Jackson."
Moses in a meeting with his lawyer, who tells him he may not be able to appeal his death sentence. He argues that he's a man of principle, that in the end he'll be exonerated. She tells him to get his affairs in order 'cause it probably isn't going to happen.
Back to death row, where Glynn says the state attorney general turned down Giles's request to be stoned to death. Giles argues, "Law…right! mine!" Moses looks over with interest. Pete tells him an anti-death penalty group is planning to sue the state on his behalf. Glynn grouses that this will drag out for decades. Moses absorbs this from his own cell as Giles says, "Peter. Peter Marie." She responds by giving him a thumbs-up. LoPresti glares as he says, "Lights out!" Moses: "Giles! This whole time I thought you were an idiot, talkin' in flash cards, when the whole time, you were a genius." Giles protests, "No, genius no." Moses: "Yes, genius, yes…you were supposed to die in two weeks." Giles smiles and says, "Die, old…sleep." And Moses tells him he's an inspiration to them all. The whole exchange was pretty amusing.
Cut to Moses visiting Said. He tells Said he just finished his book and was moved by it. He especially liked the part about Jefferson Keane and how he gave his kidney to his sister. Said says he still hears from Grace. Yeah, I bet he does. Moses says he wants to help others, he wants to give his organs away. But he wants to meet the people who get the organs. Said tells him that isn't allowed. Moses tells Said he knows he can make it happen. Said say he'll see what he can do. Moses just played him like a fiddle, yo.
We see Leroy counseling another gang member and convincing him to take off his hat. We see Said and Arif standing on the landing above, witnessing the whole thing. Arif: "Salah is making another convert." Said agrees that he's doing a great job. All Salah got him to do was take off his hat. Maybe giving fashion advice is the first step. I don't know. Cut to library. Robson and Hoyt find Leroy and ask what the hell is taking so long to kill Said. He says Hoyt is starting to feel the "clock is running out." Hoyt punctuates this by saying "tick tock, tick tock." Hoyt really adds to the scene by…oh wait, I'm sorry, he actually doesn't. Leroy first corrects them by saying that his name isn't Leroy…it's Salah. Then he tells them he now serves Said, and won't be killing him after all. Robson tells him he doesn't have a mind. He "has shit-for-brains." He tells him he can't back out on "the brotherhood." A hack turns up, which surprises the hell out of me, and breaks it up.
In the storage room, Sal-eroy tells Said his soul is heavy. Said: "So, talk to me." Sal-eroy: "I'm afraid." Said tells him to never be afraid of the truth, and encourages him to spill it. Sal-eroy admits that, in the beginning, he lied about wanting to join the Upright Muslims Brigade. He admits he had "vengeance in his heart because of what you did, killing Adebesi…but then the bliss of Allah replaced the vengeance." Said: "I knew, the day I embraced you, that you were lying." "You did?" He asks why, and Said tells him Allah put them together in "this time and place" to learn from each other. He talks of his wanting to help Adebesi, and the demons he struggles with since killing him. Sal-eroy confesses that Robson and Hoyt want Said dead. Said knows this too. Sal-eroy asks what they should do. Said says to leave it in the hands of God. Said leaves to allow Leroy to change into his red shirt.
Unit B. Robson ordering his new boy wonder to do a deed…or said boy will be fed to the other Aryans. If the boy does it, he becomes one of the brotherhood. Boy agrees.
Cafeteria. We see Said in line and Boy Wonder watching him. Leroy notes the shanks being slowly pulled out of Boy's pants and lunges forward, putting himself between Said and the blade. Said holds onto Leroy as he sags to the ground. A fight erupts.
Said's pod. Arif enters to find Said on the floor. He tells him Salah is dead. Said doesn't look surprised as he says, "I killed him, you know. I killed him like I killed Adebesi…I might as well have put the knife into him myself." Arif tries to reassure him. Said tells him to leave him. "My demons need freedom." Arif pauses, and Said yells for him to leave. Arif leaves; Said sobs.
Hill talks about how no two snowflakes are alike. I only allow this because I have always had this same thought. How do they know none of them are alike? Hill says it's the law of averages. I totally agree.
Tune in week as Beecher gets to make a special call, and everybody knows who's on the other line. If you don't, I'll give you a hint: it starts with a "K" and ends with an "eller."