Man, they let you know right from the opening credits what this show is about, don't they? If someone stumbled onto this show while flipping through the channels and saw the opening credits, they'd know they were in for male and female nudity, drug use, sex, murder, and violence. Also, this episode was directed by Mr. Steve Buscemi.
Hill, dressed in a postal worker uniform, recites the motto of the U.S. Postal Service -- the whole "neither rain nor snow" business. Hill informs us that it was adapted from the sayings of the philosopher Herodotus. Nice bit of trivia, that. Hill points out the anticipation of getting mail, and says that in Oz, the anticipation is usually the best part. Well, it is outside of Oz, too! I always go out to get my mail at 2:00 PM, and I get all excited about it, and then it's all credit card offers and flyers for Wal-Mart. What a letdown.
We open right up with a "How I Got To Prison" montage. A rifle sight scopes out a man, and then settles on a little kid carrying a red ball, and we hear a gunshot. The shooter was prisoner #99C124, William Cudney, who was convicted on February 10th, 1999 of murder in the first degree. His sentence is life without the possibility of parole, and you really feel that is just as you see the man pick up his lifeless child. Having the red ball roll away into the snow was a bit much, though.
Cudney, Ryan, and Cyril sit at a table. Ryan backstories that Cudney's wife got an abortion without telling him, so Cudney wanted to kill the abortion doctor, and hit the son accidentally. Cyril asks what abortion is, and Ryan tells him that it's when the baby goes to heaven without being born. Cudney clarifies that he killed the son on purpose, because the doctor killed his child. Cudney believes it was an eye for an eye. Ryan gets up and leaves. Cyril asks Cudney what he's going to say to the doctor's son when he sees him in heaven. Cudney doesn't answer, so Cyril says he knows what he's going to say to Gloria's husband, if Cyril gets into heaven. Ah, simple Cyril.
Ryan waits for Cyril in the gym. When Cyril finally shows up, Ryan wants him to start boxing right away. Cyril says he's not going to box, and adds that Cudney told him that God doesn't want him to box. Ryan softens and says that it's okay. Cyril is surprised that Ryan isn't mad. Ryan says he thinks Cyril should listen to what Cudney says, and they leave.
Ryan walks into a room where Cudney is writing a Bible verse on a chalkboard. Cudney asks if Ryan has come to join their prayer group. Ryan picks up a Bible from the table and reads a verse out of it. When Ryan gets close enough, he smashes Cudney in the face with the Bible. Ryan tells Cudney to tell Cyril he has to box, and then never speak to him again. Ryan smashes Cudney with the Bible a few more times for good measure, and then admits that he never had much use for the Bible before. Ryan asks if he can keep the Bible, and Cudney whimpers, "No." Ryan keeps it anyway, and walks out. As he exits, he sees Gloria and McManus walking up some stairs. He calls to Gloria, and McManus tells him to watch himself as they walk on.
Ryan walks out and encounters Kenny, Pierce, and Poet. Ryan asks Kenny if he's ready to fight Khan, the Muslim. Kenny says he's more than ready, and mentions that he's going to get high. Ryan wonders if he should be getting high the day of the fight, but Kenny says he's like Tyson -- he parties, then he fights, then he parties some more. Yeah, and look where that got Tyson. Except I guess Kenny's already in prison. So, I guess Adebisi didn't kill Kenny in the last scene from the episode.
Ryan encounters Pancamo, and wants to make a big bet on Khan in the fight. Ryan keeps moving, coming up to Khan and telling him that Kenny has been talking trash about him. Khan says he aims to win in the name of Allah, adding some other words in there that I don't know. Ryan doesn't either, saying, "Yeah, whatever. Just kick his ass."
In the gym, Ryan grabs Kenny's water bottle and starts to put the chloral hydrate in it. Then, Ryan pauses to think, and says, "Yeah, right," and puts the bottle back untainted.
At the fight, Kenny dances around the ring like a fool while Khan stands there and waits patiently. Khan probably outweighs Kenny by about fifty pounds, and it's all muscle. Kenny gets a few hits in early, but then it's all Khan. We see a shot of Beecher and Chip buddying up in the audience. Khan knocks Kenny out pretty quickly. As Ryan collects his money from Pancamo, he yells out, "You're like Tyson, all right. Cicely Tyson."
Hill, in postal worker attire, says that sometimes a package arrives unexpectedly. Sometimes it's a gift, but it could also be from the Unabomber. Well, it couldn't really. I don't think they let him send packages anymore.
In the kitchen, Kenny tells Poet that it's time to fuck with the Muslims. Poet hops out onto a stage in the cafeteria and announces that he's started writing poems again because he was inspired by something he saw the other day, and that this poem is dedicated to Said, who looks flattered. Poet recites angrily:
That's it. I figured you easy.
All you want to do is get your palm greasy.
Capitalize. See, fucking American been in your eyes for
More than four hundred fifty years
And now you want to hide your tears
In your so-called Allah-given mission to help your brothers
Well, Allah gave me vision, and I'm going to tell all the others
Talking about revolution
What I saw, that was revelation.
You, frolicking with the devil's maiden.
And now you happy because you think you can manipulate her think.
Well, I'm going to put you onto something while we're locked up here in this clink.
While you trying to get us all to the heaven above
When she forget about your contradictorial ass
Make sure you hide them bloody gloves.
Poet walks off the stage, and Said stands up to meet him. The other inmates are abuzz over what Poet said, and Said has tears in his eyes as he looks at his fellow Muslims.
Said prays in his cell, and Khan and Arif enter and tell them that they can't have this kind of public humiliation. They insist that Said choose between the woman and them, or they will get someone else to lead them.
Said goes to meet Tricia in the visiting room, where he finds her crying. She says she's been getting threatening phone calls, telling her to stay away from him, and hands him the answering machine tape. Said asks if she changed her number. Patricia says she did, but she can't move, and wonders what will happen if they find her. She doesn't know why someone wouldn't want them to be together. Said says he'll speak to his lawyer about getting her some protection. Trisha says, "Fuck 'em," and then apologizes for swearing. Said agrees, "Fuck 'em." They hug, and Said practically has an orgasm.
Said stomps into the computer room and demands to know if Khan and Arif are behind the threatening phone calls. Arif looks down, but Khan returns Said's stare. Said holds up the tape and says that whoever is responsible will pay, "in this life, or the ." Then he whips the tape across the room, totally destroying the evidence, and walks out.
Said splashes water on his face from the sink, and looks up to see Ryan scrubbing his arm until it's bloody and raw. Ryan explains that when he got married, he got a tattoo with his wife's name on it, which was pretty stupid. Ryan adds that he asked his wife for a divorce because he loves Gloria now, and she's under his skin. Said looks away.
Kenny, Pierce, and Poet horse around. A few feet away, Adebisi, Guerra, and El Cid discuss their plans to take the first group out. Guerra doesn't understand why they don't just kill them. Adebisi (who still has the fork in his hair from the episode) explains that killing them would cause a "war with the homeboys," and that they don't need them dead, but just need to slow them down. El Cid agrees, suggesting that they make it look like an accident. Adebisi tells them to take care of Poet and Pierce first, because he has plans for Kenny. Then, Adebisi goes back to reading his comic book.
McManus walks up to Kenny saying that he has bad news. He informs Kenny that his wife was killed, and she was found in bed with another man, who was also killed. Kenny acts sad, and then asks about his son. McManus tells him that his son was with his mother, and he's fine. Kenny asks to go to the funeral, and McManus says he'll see what he can do, and then tells Kenny he arranged a counseling session for him. McManus walks away, and once he is safely out of range, Kenny, Poet, and Pierce all start cracking up. Poet reminds us that Kenny wanted them both dead, and now they are. Kenny suggests that they (what else?) go get high.
As letters fall from the sky, Hill tells us that any letter from outside Oz is a potential bomb, full of memories of what life was like before prison. Hill concludes, "Sometimes the sweeter the letter, the more bitter the aftertaste." ["Ooooh, deep. And they dare call someone else Poet?" -- Djb]
Hill voice-overs a letter from someone's mother, full of the usual platitudes about dreaming of when the prisoner is free, and how everything at home is the same. We see a montage. Kenny models a suit for Poet and Pierce. Adebisi stares down Poet and Pierce and then glances at the Hispanic gang. Kenny attends the burial. Adebisi watches Poet and Pierce in the kitchen, and then gives the high sign. Ryan and Cyril duck out as Guerra and some other guy attack Poet and Pierce in the kitchen. Kenny lays a rose on the casket. Adebisi, wearing his multi-colored socks, pours boiling oil on an unconscious Poet and Pierce. Kenny looks thoughtful at the burial.
Poet and Pierce are rolled into the hospital unit with severe burns. Leo questions Ryan and Adebisi, who claim that they didn't see a thing. Murphy calls for a lockdown. Kenny returns to Em City during the lockdown, escorted by a guard. Kenny gets into his cell and asks Pierce (he thinks) why they are in lockdown. Kenny rips the covers off the bunk to reveal Adebisi, and the return of his precarious little hat. Adebisi says menacingly, "Welcome back, Kenny."
El Cid watches the goings-on from his cell. Alvarez asks if Poet and Pierce will live. El Cid says they will for now, but life is precarious. Alvarez asks if he's going to live, and El Cid asks if Alvarez has met with Rivera yet. Alvarez says that he's mostly been talking with Sister Pete. El Cid says as long as Alvarez doesn't give them up, he's safe.
In her office, Sister Pete tells Alvarez that there's no telling what the emotional outcome will be of meeting with Rivera and his wife. She wants Alvarez to tell her what he did to Rivera. Alvarez doesn't see the point, since she knows, but Sister Pete feels that it's important that he articulate what he did. Alvarez says that it happened last summer, and he doesn't know why he did it. He was "fucked up and shit," and "tense." Sister Pete pushes for more, and Alvarez swears and starts pacing the room. Alvarez explains that he stabbed Rivera's eyes and then dropped the scalpel. When the scalpel hit the floor, it made a ringing sound. Sister Pete asks him to sit down, and Alvarez complies. Sister Pete asks again why he did it. Alvarez claims tension again, but Sister Pete says it was deliberate, and he'll need to explain it to Rivera. Alvarez says he will, but he can't tell Sister Pete because he doesn't owe it to her.
Rivera fingers a crucifix and tells Sister Pete that he wants to ask God why this happened, and he has, but he doesn't get any answers. Sister Pete says that God won't answer his questions in a big, booming voice, but instead, through talking to Alvarez. Sister Pete wants to know what Rivera is going to say to Alvarez. Rivera says he wants to know when someone is going to let him out of the dark room. Sister Pete encourages him to continue, but Rivera says he can't say it in front of her. Sister Pete says she's a big girl. Yeah, I mean, she's a psychologist in a prison. You think she hasn't heard it all at this point? Rivera spills forth, cursing Alvarez, and saying that he would have killed himself if it weren't for his wife. Sometimes he thinks he should do it anyway, so that his wife can start over. For the big finale, Rivera whips off his glasses and reveals his scarred and empty eye sockets, saying that he can't cry anymore.
Hill discusses the various forms of junk mail, especially sweepstakes. Hill says that you know you can't win, so you toss it, but what if you made the wrong choice, and you could have won?
McManus bitches to Murphy about Claire getting reinstated to her job, which implies his guilt. Murphy says McManus is a victim of his times, and that nowadays, every man is considering "an ass-grabbing pig," which Murphy thinks is true. McManus says he's not. Murphy points out that McManus bragged about sleeping with every woman in the place, except for Sister Pete. McManus says it was always consensual. Murphy advises him to take Claire to court, and get Gloria and Diane and Sister Pete to testify on his behalf. McManus says that the odds are against him. As Murphy leaves, he says, "When are they ever in your favor?" If they ever need a new partner for Briscoe on Law & Order, I nominate the guy who plays Murphy. ["Seconded" -- Djb] He cracks me up.
McManus discusses the case with his lawyer. She tells him that it'll be a media circus. At first, the story will be hot, and McManus will look guilty at first, especially since the public only half-listens to the news. After a while, the story will cool, and when they win, it won't be reported. McManus will have to carry the stigma for the rest of his life.
In the break room, Sister Pete asks Gloria the deal with Claire's harassment case. Sister Pete doesn't think McManus is guilty. Gloria isn't so sure, since she dated McManus for a while, and says that anything is possible. Just then, McManus walks in and asks both women to be character witnesses in his case. Sister Pete agrees immediately, but Gloria hesitates, saying she wants to talk to Claire first. McManus takes this to mean she thinks he is guilty and thus "capable of abusing women." McManus spits out, "Thanks for the vote of fucking confidence!" Back in his office, McManus seethes and then swipes all the crap off his desk and onto the floor.
McManus goes to visit Diane in her unit. He asks after her daughter, and then launches into this discussion of the men in the unit who raped, killed, and abused women. Diane wonders what he's going on about, so McManus tells her that he was going to fight Claire's suit, but has decided against it, because he's guilty. McManus says he used Claire for her body, and didn't give a shit about her feelings, and that he did the same thing to his ex-wife, Gloria, and Diane. McManus walks out, but turns back to ask if Diane would have testified on his behalf. Diane says she would, because what they had was real, if only for a moment. I think Diane spends a lot of time watching Lifetime: Television for Women.
Yet another "How I Got to Prison" montage. A guy pulls up to an outdoor café and opens fire, killing many. This is Prisoner #99K871, Yuri Kosygin, convicted March 23rd, 1999 of eight counts of murder in the first degree, four counts of attempted murder, and possession of an illegal firearm. His sentence is, understandably, life without the possibility of parole.
Russky is assigned to be Yuri's buddy in Em City. Once in their pod, they drink some vodka and speak in Russian. Russky finally switches to English, asking Yuri if he was sent to kill him. Yuri does a shot and answers in Russian, which I don't speak, so I can't tell you what he said. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.
Clayton shows Yuri to the library, where he is assigned to work. Clayton explains the job, and Yuri doesn't respond, so Clayton asks if he understands. Yuri says he does. Clayton gets creeped out by Yuri, because he is creepy, and tells him to sit down until the librarian returns.
Yuri rolls the book cart through the AIDS ward. Nappa comes out to greet him, having heard of Yuri as the biggest killer in Little Odessa, and puts his hand out in friendship. Yuri says he doesn't need Nappa's friendship. Nappa says that his boys control everything that goes in and out of Oz, so if Yuri tries to start his shit, he'll be dead by morning. Yuri chuckles, "You Italians. So melodramatic."
Pancamo and his goons approach Russky in the computer room. Pancamo says that he got word from Nappa that Yuri isn't showing respect. Russky explains that he and Yuri are not friends, since Russky is a Jew and Yuri is a Cossack. Russky explains that Yuri is feared for his savagery, and is far more savage than any Sicilian. Pancamo tells Russky that he should talk to Yuri before Pancamo does.
After lights out, Yuri stands in his pod and stares out. Rebadow and Busmalis discuss how Yuri "scares the living shit out of [them]." Yuri tosses off his robe and gets into his bunk.
Schillinger, delivering mail, watches Beecher and Chip walk by. Busmalis gets a letter. Hill asks about it, and Busmalis says that he wrote Miss Sally a fan letter, and got back an autographed picture. Keller dismisses it as done by a machine, and they argue over whether the puppet's autograph is real as well. Rebadow reads the letter that came with the picture. Keller says it's a form letter. Hill tells Keller that he's a cynical bastard. Keller says that there's no way Miss Sally can read all her fan mail, much less reply to it. Oh, I know how that goes. Except substitute "hate" for "fan." Keller says that a secretary probably writes the responses, and then he leaves. Cyril thinks they should write Miss Sally and ask her to come visit. Ryan dismisses the idea, but Busmalis says he's going to try. Ryan says he'd like to have sex with Miss Sally. Beecher adds, "I wouldn't mind a four-way with Nooter and Pecky." Ryan says, "What?" Heh.
Murphy announces visiting hours. Ricardo, he of the ever-diminishing visitors, says that he has to go see his family. When he arrives at the visiting room, his father is now missing, and it's down to just his sister and brother. His brother says that their father had a stroke, and he's in intensive care. Ricardo asks if he's going to make it, and no one can answer. Ricardo says he called his father the other day to apologize for cursing at his sister, but before he could, they started talking about something else. Ricardo asks if their father was mad after the last visit. His sister assures him that their father loves him.
Clayton wakes up a sleeping inmate in the library. Seriously, that's all there was to that scene.
Hill explains that a letter arrived the other day that was over thirty years old. The inmate it was addressed to was long dead, so they threw it in the dead letter box without opening it, and now no one will ever know what was inside.
Leo finds Clayton sitting alone in the cafeteria. Clayton wants to know the exact spot where his father died. Leo walks him over near the wall. In a flashback, we see the riot that killed Clayton's father. Clayton squats down and touches the floor, and then asks Leo if his father's killer is still alive in Oz. Leo starts to say something in response, but Clayton has walked away.
Clayton asks Rebadow if he remembers a guard who was killed seventeen years ago. Rebadow doesn't remember. Clayton gets in Rebadow's face and tells him to think about him. Father Ray shows up and wonders why Clayton is beating up an old man, so Clayton stops.
Ray, Murphy, and Diane discuss Clayton in the break room. Murphy is not very sympathetic, given Clayton's performance when he was in Em City. Diane says that she thinks that Ray should sit down with Clayton and sort things out, given the extenuating circumstances.
Clayton walks into the area where Father Ray is setting up for mass. He apologizes for what Ray saw. Ray says he doesn't need an apology, but Rebadow might. Ray tells Clayton that the time he goes into a rage, come talk to him and they'll work through it together. Clayton says the only thing that will help him is knowing who killed his father, and stalks off.
Hill discusses "Dear John" letters.
Keller meets with Sister Pete. She asks about his relationship with Schillinger at Lardner, where they first met. Keller compares it to a postulant and a Mother Superior in a nunnery. Sister Pete smiles at this. Keller says that he always thought nuns were "old maids who had given up on life," and asks Sister Pete how she knew that she was called by God. Sister Pete says she felt his love. Keller wants to know what that feels like. Sister Pete says he'll know it when it comes. Keller doubts it, and asks about the vows. Sister Pete recites, "Obedience, poverty, chastity." Keller says that she goes home to an empty bed. Sister Pete says it's not empty. Keller chuckles and remembers that she's a bride of Christ, but also says that there have to be nights when God's love feels cold and empty. Sister Pete looks thoughtful and starts to respond, but a bell rings, so she ends their session. Keller says his ex-wife is coming to visit him. Sister Pete thinks she is beautiful, but Keller says it's a different ex-wife today -- he has three. Sister Pete admits that she was married. Keller says that he'd like to hear more about that time, but Sister Pete says that time, they're going to talk about him. Keller tells Sister Pete that he likes being in the same room with her, because she gives "good aura." He leaves, and Sister Pete is all flustered. She glances at the crucifix on the wall. Moments later, she sees Keller making out with his ex-wife in the visiting room, and gets flustered all over again.
Beecher is woken up by the sound of Chip coughing in the lower bunk. He gets up and figures out that Chip is going through withdrawal. Beecher wets a cloth and wipes down Chip's face, then suggests that they talk about why Chip takes drugs and is self-destructive. Chip asks why Beecher took drugs. Beecher stands and drops his boxers, showing Chip the swastika burned on his bum. Chip wants to know where it came from, so Beecher relates the story of Schillinger doing it on the first night Beecher was there, and admits that he hates Chip's father. Chip says they aren't that different. Beecher tells Chip that they don't need to take drugs to get back at Schillinger, and they can't let Schillinger have control over their lives. Beecher says that when he went through withdrawal, he was alone, and he just wanted his mother. Chip admits that he misses his mother too. Beecher pulls Chip to his chest and strokes his hair, telling him that it will be all right.
Beecher and Chip arrive at the rehab meeting. Chip apologizes to everyone for his behavior at the last meeting, and admits he's an addict. He hopes that with their help, he can take control of his life, because he's never had control before. Sister Pete welcomes him, and they all applaud. Keller stares at Beecher real hard.
Schillinger lifts weights in the gym. Chip walks up and says hello. Schillinger notices that Chip is clean, and asks how he did it. Chip says he had help from God and his friends. Ryan, Beecher, and Keller walk in. Chip tells his father that his friends are going to teach him how to wrestle. Schillinger watches as Keller and Chip roll around on the floor together.
Beecher visits Schillinger in the mailroom, asking Schillinger if he wants to thank him for getting his son off drugs, something Schillinger could never do. Schillinger tells Beecher to fuck off. Beecher suggests that Schillinger adjust his attitude, or Beecher won't continue to be a good friend to him. Schillinger questions the friend part, and Beecher says he's a friend for what he hasn't done -- he hasn't fucked Chip, "at least not yet." Beecher explains that he thinks Chip has a crush on him, and describes in explicit detail what he could have done to Chip, and adds that one of these nights, he might not be able to control himself. Schillinger says, "You'll be dead before you get the chance." As Schillinger leaves, Beecher yells out that Keller's getting horny, and Ryan's been talking about a three-way with Cyril and Chip. First of all, ew. They are brothers. Second of all, that just fueled eighteen thousand fanfic stories.
Schillinger approaches Chip in the cafeteria, and asks to speak to him alone. Schillinger hugs Chip, and says that he's proud of him, and wants to start to have a real relationship. Chip tells him that there's not a chance, and he has to get back to his pals. Schillinger warns him not to hang out with them. Chip denigrates Schillinger's Aryan beliefs, saying that he has learned that they are all shit, and "white or black, shit is shit." Chip goes on to curse many times, until Schillinger slaps him across the face. Chip says that his father hit him way too many times growing up, and tackles his father. The guards swarm, and Schillinger says Chip started it, so Chip is carted away, cursing all the while.
Schillinger gives a little lecture to his minions about how a man does everything he can for his children, sacrificing everything he can for their happiness. Chip sits in solitary, until the Ted Danson looking guard delivers a little package, a present from his father. Schillinger continues speaking, saying that when your own flesh and blood renounces you, you have no choice but to renounce them. Chip opens the package to find drugs, which he throws aside. Schillinger says that his son is dead to him. Chip keeps picking up the drugs and throwing them aside. Finally, he picks them up. Schillinger continues, "My son is dead." Ted Danson Guard finds Chip dead in solitary, and radios for the morgue.
Guards gather Chip's things from Beecher's pod. Keller says that Beecher's plan worked perfectly. Beecher sees McManus looking at him, and sits there with a guilty look on his face.
Hill say that the worst day is when you wake up and realize that you'll never get another piece of mail. You'd give anything for another piece of mail to let you know that you still exist, still matter.