Couch Baron
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A propos of something: The title of this episode has absolutely nothing to do with the George Orwell book of the same name. Although there is one reference to an "Orwellian" law, it's much more 1984 than Animal Farm, so what I'm saying is: Brush up on your junior-high-school reading, Fontana.
We see a butterfly in close-up. I hope against hope that it means that Jame Gumb is now saying to Hill, "It puts the lotion in the basket," but no such luck, as Hill tells us about the Butterfly Effect, which, like the episode title, has absolutely no relevance to this episode. Will the surprises never stop?
Beecher awakens as count is called. He looks like he's had one too many beers, not one too many jars of moonshine (meaning "one"), but what do I know about hangovers? If you said "Enough to fill a volume the size of the Encyclopedia Britannica," you're not wrong. Beecher sits up slowly and stares at the empty jar on the floor, which he totally would have broken in his drunken state, by the way, and just sits there staring at it, instead of, perhaps, HIDING IT. Lord. Diane enters and tells him to hurry up, but he says he's not feeling well. It doesn't take her long to figure out what's what, and she leads him out. Cut to Pete's office. McManus asks Beecher where he got the moonshine, but Beecher isn't forthcoming. McManus: "Who brought it in? Fairies? Or was it Keller?" Hee. "Fairies." Maybe I've read A Midsummer Night's Dream too many times, but that makes me think of Keller as Oberon. In which case Beecher would certainly be Bottom. Beecher says he bought the moonshine from a guy in Unit B. Way to give up true information there, pal. Remind me not to give you the name of my contact. If I had one, of course, which I don't, because that would be wrong. Beecher doesn't give up the guy's name, probably only because he doesn't know it, and McManus threatens him with time in the hole, and I'm surprised that Beecher didn't ask if he could share a cell with naked Keller. Who's not in the episode at all, by the way, just so you Kellerites watching in reruns know to give this one a miss. Pete asks to talk to Beecher alone, and McManus pissily leaves. Beecher regretfully says he was doing so well, but Pete points out that he's had a lot of stressful things happen to him lately, and deduces that the man Beecher is in love with is Keller. Brilliant reasoning, considering that Keller's his new roommate and all. She writes him a note as she says she's going to let him sleep it off in the hospital wing this one time. "You drink again and I will kick your ass." Lace up the size nines, sister.
“ Hill asks how we know that cats can see in the dark. Good question. Let's toss you into a dark room with that tiger that mauled Roy, just as an experiment. ”
Schillinger sees Beecher in the hospital wing and smiles to himself. He enters with the mail cart, and cheerfully says, "Hey, Beachball." Hee. Schillinger goes on that he heard that Beecher went on a bender, and guesses that he was upset about his wife. Come on, Vern, that was two episodes ago. He's moved on. From women. Vern agreeably asks if Beecher would feel better if he told him that he, Vern, had Beecher's wife killed. Cue the music of DUN! Beecher thinks Vern's lying. Schillinger: "I guess you'll never know for sure. Best part is, either way, it's your fucking fault." Vern gets another "e" for that one. He's now Eeeeevil. Beecher pushes Schillinger, prompting Gloria to yell over at them. Vern leaves with a few chuckles and a "Later, fuckwad." Hee.
Coushaine stops Ryan in the main area and asks if he's seen Cyril, if he knows what unit he's in, et cetera. Ryan gives him a series of unfriendly nos. Coushaine's like that guy at a party who won't leave even after the host has yawned, stretched, and faux-exclaimed, "Oh my God, is that really the time?" He asks if Ryan wants him to find out where Cyril is. Ryan demands to know why Coushaine is so interested. Coushaine babbles something about brothers in the same prison. Ryan says Coushaine is trying to convert him and Cyril. Well, I can't blame him for that. And by the way, is Coushaine really supposed to be straight? I'm just not buying that. Anyway, Ryan tells him to shove off, and he finally does.
Cyril's sitting on his bed bouncing a ball when Schillinger enters, which distracts Cyril, causing him to bounce the ball off his shoe. Schillinger picks it up and greets Cyril. Schillinger chats up Cyril, but Cyril quietly but insistently asks for his ball back. Schillinger obliges and asks Cyril if he wants to see Emerald City. Yeah, Cyril's going to be bent over the rainbow soon, and I doubt he's going to be singing about it. Schillinger takes Cyril by the hand and leads him into a supply closet. I know you're challenged, Cyril, so I'm going to keep this very simple: Closets. Are. Bad. In this particular one, two other toughs are waiting. Cyril quietly asks where Ryan is. Aw. Schillinger explains that before he can take Cyril to Ryan, Cyril has to do something for him. Cyril agrees, and asks what. Schillinger gives me a wicked case of the heebie-jeebies by smiling. That's a smile from which even a mother would run screaming. He tells Cyril to take off his clothes, and when Cyril doesn't respond, he unbuttons Cyril's shirt. Silly Cyril. Trix aren't just for kids anymore. The rest of the scene is left to the imagination. Damn my vivid imagination.
The Silence Of The Narrator, except for the "silence" part. We see a panther behind Hill, but it's unfortunately only a projection. Hill asks how we know that cats can see in the dark. Good question. Let's toss you into a dark room with that tiger that mauled Roy, just as an experiment. (If you think that joke's too soon, don't email me!) He asks if you would want cat's eyes if you could have them. "Would you really want to see what's going on?" In light of the last scene, I must grudgingly admit that he has a point here.