Wrestlemania

S02E05

Staff lounge. Officer Heim, last seen in "The Tip," bangs on a soda machine that just ate his money. He repeatedly bangs on an image of a little girl sipping a soda. Hee. It's probably giving the show too much credit to call this a subtle reminder of the SORT guys' reputation for violence, but this is an A+ episode, so why the hell not? Although Heim is wearing a regular hack's uniform here. McManus enters, and we learn that these two are friends when McManus says he can't make it to their poker night. Heim laughs when he hears about McManus's plans, saying that he and Diane are "on again, off again." Don't remind me of the scene when they were "on," Heim. McManus says they're definitely off. Heim asks why, and when McManus isn't forthcoming, says, "Timmy boy, you have got to be the most transparent man on God's green earth." And the shout-outs keep on coming. Heim says that McManus has pulled away from Diane ever since Case investigated the riot. McManus admits that he thinks Diane killed Ross, although he's only got Schillinger's word, because when he asked Diane about it, she lied. Heim asks how he knows. McManus: "You sleep with someone, you know." I think we all know that's not true, but following his logic, I guess it's fair to conclude that these two have never slept together, because Heim is lying his ass off about what he knows. Anyway, McManus leaves, and Heim goes to the phone and calls Diane.

McManus meets Diane in the locker room. She steels her courage and says she knows her has doubts about what happened to Ross, and asks if he remembers the look in Ross's eyes when he shot him. McManus says he does, but he doesn't remember anything after that. Diane says that she doesn't remember much either, but she did what she did because Ross was trying to kill McManus. McManus snots, "And that justifies it." Actually, it does, and any court of law would tell you the same, so stow it, fuckwad. Diane agrees with me. McManus says that what she's saying goes against his worldview, but Diane earnestly says that not everyone lives in the same world as him (a declaration that was the first runner-up at the Understatement Awards) and "for most of us, what has to be done matters more than what should be done." I couldn't have said it better, although I would have added "dickhead" at the end. At this point, Pete brings in Diane's daughter Didi, and she's adorable, in a not-so-precious-that-you'd-want-to-smack-her way. Diane nervously asks if he still wants to get dinner. McManus regards her coldly. "No." Now, you have to realize, a lot of what we recappers write is hyperbole. I don't actually fall asleep while writing recaps, I've never actually stabbed myself in the eye, and I have never been fired, to the best of my knowledge. So know that I am telling you the God's honest truth when I tell you that when McManus did this, I yelled, "WHAT A FUCKING DICK!" at my computer. I cannot believe him. At least, at least, if you have to be such an ass to Diane, make it easier on the kid -- graciously say you're not feeling well or something. God. This scene reminds me of the part in You Can Count On Me when Mark Ruffalo is mad at Laura Linney and backs out of taking her son fishing, and she tries to talk him out of taking his anger at her out on the kid, but he won't budge, and she finally seethes, "You suck." Of course, Mark Ruffalo (a) changed his mind, and (b) at least DIDN'T HAVE THE CONVERSATION IN FRONT OF THE KID. I will tell you now, I hate McManus with the fire of a thousand suns, and nothing he does from this point will ever change that. The only thing I'll say for him is that I agree that Diane should have let Ross kill him, but only because that means we'd be free of his complete and utter suckitude forever. Wow, does he suck.