Hill appears to us wearing what looks like a combination of a space suit and an aviator outfit. Well, if this is emblematic of how wacky his monologue is going to be, we're off to a rollicking start already, no? Hill tells us that the Aztecs believed that the universe was created by violence, and that every year they would cut out someone's heart and offer it up to the gods as a way of protecting them from the end of the world. However, when the Spaniards invaded, the world did come to an end -- for them. Unless the Aztecs forgot to make their sacrifice that year, he has absolutely no point with this monologue. And here I thought it was going to be unusual. We see McManus in a darkened Em City as Hill VOs that it's ten months after the riot. Ah, so I was right -- Ryan only wore that silly cap in "The Tip" because he'd already grown his hair out, but they couldn't show it because that episode was supposed to be immediately after the riot. Wow, I'm smart. S-M-R-T.
A bunch of inmates file into Em City for McManus's welcome back speech. He tells them that it's a new deal, a fair deal. Jeez, Timbo, pick a Roosevelt and go with it. McManus says that he's identified ten groups, those being the Muslims, the "gangstas," the Latinos, the Italians, the Irish, the Aryans, the bikers, the Christians, the gays, and one called the "others." Well, good thing there couldn't possibly be any overlap with those categories, then. He goes on that each group will have exactly four prisoners living in Em City, and that they'll each select a representative to serve on the new prisoner's council, which will air grievances. And plan riots. God, this man is an idiot. By the way, there are a bunch of new prisoners in the crowd, the most important that I can see being Peter Schibetta, Timmy Kirk, and Chuckie Pancamo. Said asks why McManus came back, and why he still thinks Em City will work. McManus babbles something about taking responsibility for your life while smugly saying in the same breath that he's not solely responsible for making Em City work. Yeah, I just bet you floored the Pernicious Peewee at the pitch meeting. Ass. Anyway, everyone heads off to the pods.
Arif tells "Kareem" (what happened to "Minister Said"?) that he should be their representative, but Said says it's not a given that they'll participate. "Our absence may speak louder than our presence." Bad news for people's eardrums, then.
Adebisi tells Wangler that he'll handle Ryan. In the pod, Ryan tells Kirk that he'll handle Adebisi. Yeah, they're doing it. Ryan is sporting long hair that could almost be called a mullet, and long sideburns. Would it surprise anyone to learn that I think he looks hot? Yeah, that's what I thought. He tells Kirk that he's worried about the Sicilians, and that Peter Schibetta is running their operation now. Schibetta deals cards to his outfit and tells them they're taking back the drug trade and finding out who hurt Nino. Peter's hair has calmed down considerably, by the way. It's still a little big, but at least he doesn't look like he'd have no need of a parachute if he jumped out of an airplane.
In his pod, Alvarez says that everyone's going to learn that "they can't shit on us no more." You might want to make sure Beecher gets that message. Hill bitches about being an "other." The other others are Beecher, Rebadow, and "Agamemnon Busmalis, a.k.a. The Mole." That's not the a.k.a. I have for him, but at least he's not wearing that stupid hat yet. That thing belongs on The Amazing Race. Busmalis says he's going to dig his way out of Oz. If fucking only.
Hill whines to McManus that he doesn't belong with "those three clowns." Considering your Harlequin Crackhead Monologues, I think it's one of the most insightful things McManus has ever done. Hill particularly whines about Beecher, and we're treated to a flashback of Beecher spitting out Robson's tip. At least we could have gotten to see some ass or something. I suppose that's why McManus is in this scene. Hill says living with Beecher means that he has to sleep with one eye open. Let Schillinger bunk with him, then. Thank you! Actually, I don't know what Hill's so worried about -- at least he wouldn't feel anything, right? Later, Beecher sleeps in the top bunk as Hill lies awake below. Beecher gets up to take a piss, and Hill protectively reaches for his naughty bits. Hee. Although does he think Beecher's some sort of dick shark or something? That would make a good Saturday Night Live sketch, now that I think of it. Hill turns toward the wall. Beecher relieves himself, and either he drank an awful lot of coffee that day, or the Foley guys just got a raise.
McManus calls the first council meeting to order, and asks for a recording secretary. Random Biker or Aryan: "You don't know how to write?" Well, we have our snark secretary, at least. Some other guy volunteers. McManus blathers that a lot of them had shitty upbringings, but he's offering them the opportunity to turn their lives around. Hill and Ryan smirk as Alvarez lays his head down on the desk. I feel you, Migs. Adebisi lazily asks how he's going to do that, and for a lifer like him, that's a very good question. Schibetta is in attendance as well. McManus says he's going to start with mandatory education. After some moaning about conjugals and cigarettes, McManus says they're going to need more teachers, and that he's looking for volunteers. Adebisi nominates O'Reily. I don't think he's looking for that kind of teacher, Simon. McManus addresses a youngish Oxford-shirt-wearing guy named Coushaine, who I think must be the only inmate with less street cred than Busmalis, and asks him to help out, as he used to teach high school. He agrees. Wow, this is going swimmingly! Now when does this hand basket arrive at hell?
On the stairs, McManus sees Said, and notes that the Muslims didn't participate in the council meeting. Said says they only will if the council has real power. He asks if they get to make policy, or only get to rubber-stamp McManus's. McManus: "This is a prison, not a democracy." And thanks to McManus, a large gulp of orange juice just went down my trachea. WHAT? If he really thought that, why was I yelling "IT'S A FUCKING PRISON" more times than I could count last season? God, how I hate him. He says that he wants to do Em City right this time, and that if Said doesn't want to participate, he should stay out of the way. Said says that McManus wants them to be allies, but it won't happen. "Better for you to transfer me back to Gen Pop and be done with me!" Yeah, your presence is really tranquil, Said. McManus runs after him and tells him he won't. He says that after he was shot, he prayed, and realized that his god and Said's aren't that different. "They both expect the best from us, and for us to find the best in each other." Said regards him like he's a particularly slimy slug. I have used that very look on McManus many times myself. Said tells him he's written another book, this one about the riot. I can only say that I hope I'm not going to be hearing about it for the rest of the season. Said: "When I was writing, I looked for the best in you. You want to know what I found? A confused, frightened little man." Said, you can be as loud as you want if you're going to stick it to McManus like that. Remarkably, McManus doesn't flinch. Instead, he cops to it, but says he has a different perspective thanks to the bullet he took. "People can change, Said! Even me. Even you." That assy goatee on your face says otherwise, Timbo. And also? Shut up.
McManus's stop on The Slow Boat To Boredom is Wangler, who's mopping floors. This is a really boring scene. You don't really want me to recap it, do you? Really? Honestly? Oh, fine. McManus notes that Wangler went to class when he first came to Oz, but he stopped. Yeah, that was right around the time he learned the meaning of the word "optional." McManus asks how he's going to get a job when he gets out, and Wangler duhs that he'll be finding a comfortable vocation in the drug trade. McManus says that if Wangler starts going back to class, he won't have to mop floors any more. What is this, kindergarten? I thought you were making it mandatory! Not only am I running low on "shut up," I'm also starting to dip into my bucket of "whatever." I hope McManus's screen time is almost over. Anyway, Wangler agrees. Scene!
Lord. Now McManus goes to see Poet, who appears to be writing something. McManus asks what it is, and is told that it's a poem. We see said "poem," which is actually a scary-looking doodle of a building, with insects and fire or blood around it. Boy, I wish I could turn my in recaps in that format. The only distinguishable word on the paper is "fuck." Yup, looks awfully familiar. Poet's sporting zigzag sideburns. McManus asks him to read the poem, and he starts in about roaches and motels. The poem continues into voiceover as we get Poet's prisoner flashback. "Prisoner Number 96J332. Arnold Jackson, a.k.a. Poet." Armed robbery, attempted murder, possession of a deadly weapon. Sixteen years, parole in nine. In broad daylight, he, now wearing cornrows, accosts a wealthy-looking couple with a gun on a nice-looking street. He stands way too close to them, and a scuffle ensues which ends in the husband getting shot. The car alarm goes off, in a nice touch. Poet runs off. Not the brightest star in the heavens, our Poet. McManus tells Poet he wants him to go to class and get his GED, and bribes him with a one-time conjugal, even though Poet isn't married. He sticks out his hand to seal the deal, but Poet merely nods his agreement, demonstrating that no matter how horny he is, he ain't touching McManus. Poet walks away, and McManus tries to pretend that he wasn't completely dissed.
Classroom. Oxford Shirt wants to get an idea of their literacy skills, and asks Wangler to read a paragraph in a book. Wangler asks why, and Oxford Shirt tells him that the class is going to make a vocabulary list of the words they don't know. Kirk doesn't know what "vocabulary" means, as if it doesn't pertain to fellatio, he's not interested. Kirk then wonders if it's a disease, and asks Wangler if he's got "a limp vocabulary." Wangler: "Fuck you! I ain't even got one." Truer words were never spoken. Once Oxford Shirt finishes explaining the word "vocabulary," he turns back to Wangler, who refuses to read the paragraph, and does anyone not think that Wangler ignored the letters "RIF" as a child? Yeah, I didn't think so. Wangler gets increasingly agitated until he throws his desk away and attacks the teacher. The entire SORT team rushes in, and I guess they're not taking any chances after the riot. McManus learns what happened, and tells them to take Wangler to his office. Well, spending more time with you is punishment enough, I suppose. In the office, McManus, way more on the ball than usual, tries to get Wangler to read something, but he won't. McManus writes his surname on a dry-erase board and asks Wangler to read it. Wangler squints and comes up with, "McDonald's." Ha! And realistic. Very clever, Tom. McManus, seemingly unflattered that Wangler confused his name with one that's worth something, has the guards escort Wangler out. Here's a vocabulary word for you, Wangler: "psycho." And while we're at it, "mop."
Glynn and McManus pedeconference. Glynn says he wants Wangler in the hole, but McManus wants to teach him to read. Glynn says he can't force anyone to learn, but McManus says he can try. You know, I was eating a sandwich in Subway yesterday, and this song was playing, the entire lyrics of which were, "Baby, it's happening." Baby, it's happening. Baby, it's happening. Baby, it's happening. And you know what? Those lyrics were more informative than that scene just was. At night, a hack gets Wangler out of his pod. Hill, still in spacepilot gear, blathers something about Montezuma and a comet. Baby, it's happening. The hack takes Wangler into McManus's office, wherein McManus starts teaching him to read. This is riveting, but only in the sense that I've held a rivet gun up to my temple and pushed the button.
Kitchen. Adebisi examines some droppings, and Ryan tells him that it's definitely rat shit. Adebisi: "One big fucking rat." Irony points at Ryan and cackles in the background. Pancamo comes striding to the counter and asks, "Which one of you moolies is the cook back there?" The one that's going to be jerking off into your dinner, I'd wager. Ryan asks what his problem is, and Pancamo says the food sucks. Ryan: "Don't eat it." Yeah, note what I said above. Pancamo says that Schibetta wants the kitchen back. Adebisi: "Tell him okay if he sucks my dick." I think he can go you one better, Adebisi. Pancamo goes to sit with Schibetta, and Ryan way-too-loudly asks Adebisi if he thinks the Sicilians know they killed Nino. Adebisi: "I took care of Nino; I'll take care of them." Um, yeah. He makes smacking sounds, trying to lure the rats out. Hee.
Weight room. Ryan goes to talk to Schibetta, and tells him that Adebisi killed his father. Well, theirs was a love that couldn't last, I suppose. Still, Ryan, I'm a little disappointed in you. He tells Schibetta that he saw Adebisi put the glass in his father's food, and that he did the same to Adebisi. This fails to answer the question of why Adebisi is still alive, but it's a minor point. Schibetta, smelling a rat, has Pancamo and another goon throw Ryan down on the bench. He asks if he killed Nino, but Ryan reiterates that Adebisi did it, and adds that he was trying to get rid of Adebisi because he was hoovering all the drugs they got in. He declares that he helped Nino when he was alive, and that he'd like to do the same for Peter. Schibetta has him let go, and says he'll take care of Adebisi. Ryan gives him a positively smoldering look and says he's there for him, and leaves. Pancamo asks Schibetta if he believes Ryan. Schibetta: "All rats know when to desert a sinking ship. He's a smart one but a rat just the same." Is that a "no," then? These people and their cryptic answers. Schibetta tells Pancamo to keep an eye on him, and we motor right into Schibetta's prisoner flashback. "Prisoner Number 98X112. Peter Schibetta." Five counts of extortion and money laundering. Thirty-five years, parole in twenty. We see him meet a couple guys in a parking lot. He opens his trunk and displays a couple briefcases full of money. The two guys then flash badges and arrest him. Nice one, Petey. I like that they're spreading out the prisoner flashbacks over the season again, by the way. I'm sure you're thrilled to hear that.
Glynn's office. A hack escorts Schibetta in and then leaves. Schibetta blusters that Glynn is a hard man to see and that he wants a favor and yes, it's clear that little Petey has something on Glynn. He wants the kitchen. "All I have to do is make one phone call." Glynn complains that the elder Schibetta was respectable and never would have pulled a stunt like this. Peter says he doesn't live by the code his father did. I imagine that one of the rules of the code is "Don't get fucked in the ass. Especially not twice." Glynn accedes, and has Schibetta shown out.
Adebisi is scrounging around for a kitchen implement when Glynn appears and breaks the news about Schibetta taking over. Adebisi: "You tell that guinea fuck something for me, then." He raises a huge barbecue fork and lifts up a pot, under which a large rat is trapped. He skewers it, and says with a big smile, "We got rats." Glynn looks slightly nauseated. Oh, Adebisi, you're a ray of crazy, crazy sunshine.
Infirmary. Gloria exposits to Schillinger that "Dr. Richards" thinks the surgery was successful, and although there will be some scarring, she thinks Schillinger will be able to see out of his damaged eye. Schillinger looks nervous. Gloria takes off the bandage and tells him to open his eye. After a pause, Schillinger says he can see. He smiles big. Well, I won't be sleeping tonight.
Schillinger enters Em City, where he's greeted by the bikers and the Aryans. Beecher observes from the balcony. What is with the sideburns this episode? Beecher's extend diagonally out to his goatee. I know he's supposed to be crazy, but this is beyond the pale. Schillinger fixes both eyes on Beecher, who flashes back to the swastika incident. Yeah, I could see how that would be burned into your memory. Thanks again! No, I'm not done yet!
Pete's office. Beecher says they should get a martini, but Pete points out that drinking is what got him into Oz in the first place, like, relax, Pete. Diane enters and asks if Pete has Schillinger's psychological profile for her to review for the parole hearing. I thought that was supposed to be months ago. Whatever. Pete says she'll have it at the end of the day, and goes to the loo. Diane's surprised that she leaves Beecher in there alone. What's he going to do, visit porn sites? Send spam? Read recaps? His response is the same as mine, in essence.
Behind the glass, a man who is ostensibly Schillinger's father tells Schillinger that he threw Vern's sons out, as they were taking drugs all the time and stealing from him to pay for them. He starts to storm off. Schillinger: "Don't you walk away, you cocksucker! C'mon, Dad! Get the fuck back here, Dad!" His father flips him off. Not exactly Upstairs, Downstairs, is it?
Beecher finds Schillinger on the balcony. He starts with the taunting, saying he's read Schillinger's psych profile, and according to Pete, he's demonstrated a "genuine personality adjustment." Or "spinectomy." Beecher says he's faking, and that he's going to see to it that Schillinger never leaves Oz. Great plan, Beecher. Maybe you could get a couple lessons from Ryan in thinking more than one step ahead. Schillinger retreats into his pod and looks disturbed.
Cafeteria. Schillinger sits down with his buddies and says he needs an "ask," or a favor. He asks if anyone will kill Beecher for him, but they refuse, even when he offers money, all because Beecher is "crazy." He may be crazy, but after you do the job, he'll still be dead, right? I don't really understand the reluctance here, if murder for pay is their thing. Schillinger approaches Schibetta, and his refusal puzzles me just as much, since we know for sure that the Italians do murder for hire. Schillinger tries Alvarez now, and says he can get anything for him through the mailroom, even drugs. Alvarez makes like he's considering it, but then playfully turns him down. Alvarez's scar in this scene looks like something out of Frankenstein, by the way. Schillinger storms off, and Alvarez yells in Spanish for him to go do something that I couldn't quite catch, but probably wouldn't be allowed on primetime in San Juan, you know what I mean? Schillinger catches sight of Adebisi, who's watching television, and resignedly makes his way over. He taps Adebisi on the shoulder, who looks up at him with disdain. After a long look, he looks back at the TV. Schillinger looks around, and then wordlessly walks away. HA! Best scene of the episode. Those two have the best comic timing on the show.
Library. Beecher decides to play Tease The Poisonous Snake again. And I thought he had honed his survival instincts during his stay in Oz. Beecher tells Schillinger that he can change his file so he won't get parole. If Schillinger believes this, he's way dumber than I thought. I mean, people are going to be at that hearing who will know the files were altered, right? Schillinger explodes, and Diane tells him to take a walk. Beecher smiles to himself. His femurs, on the other hand, shiver nervously.
Diane and Schillinger pedeconference. He reminds her that he saw her shoot Scott Ross. As I smile contentedly at the memory, he goes on that he knows about her kid and her sick mother, and that he'll pay her two thousand dollars to kill Beecher. If he gets out, he says, he'll never tell anyone about Ross. She tells him she'd need the money up front, and he says he'll have it wired to her account. Even on first viewing, I didn't believe Diane was morally bankrupt enough to do this, but I'd point out that a wire transfer from Schillinger would be a pretty damning piece of evidence. Anyway, she agrees. Schillinger smiles again. Shudder.
Blah blah blah Aztec-cakes.
Night. Diane marches determinedly into Em City. Schillinger sees her. She signals to the hack at the control panel, and he opens Beecher's pod. Again, I can't believe Schillinger thought she would do this in full view of the entire prison, but I guess he's just not really on his game right now. Diane gets Beecher out of bed, has him put pants on, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Said, Adebisi, and Ryan all watch, ostensibly to heighten the drama, but really, come on. The morning, the prisoners gossip about what happened. Adebisi thinks Beecher and Diane are "probably fucking," while Rebadow thinks Beecher paid Diane to help him escape. Alvarez says they were sleeping together, but Beecher was going to tell someone, so she tried to kill him. Given that Schillinger approached him, wouldn't Alvarez have a clue here? Schillinger eavesdrops and smiles contentedly. Later, Schillinger meets up with Diane, and is positively giddy. She asks him a couple of questions that establish that he hired her to commit murder. Not noticing the big neon sign behind her that's flashing, "SHE'S RECORDING THIS, YOU IDIOT!" he answers truthfully. She asks if he wants to see the body, and he says yes. She leads him up the spooky stairs and opens a heavy door. There's no one there at first, but then a grinning Beecher appears from around the corner. Schillinger's aghast, and it only gets worse as McManus shows his face, along with a few hacks. Schillinger plays dumb, but Diane's already there with the tape, which she plays back. McManus says that instead of a parole hearing, Schillinger will be attending his very own conspiracy to commit murder trial. Wow, McManus gets edged out of first place for the episode at the Chump Awards! Of course, the Lifetime Achievement Award is another story entirely. Schillinger gets dragged away to the hole.
Beecher enters his pod and brags how he's gotten Schillinger out of Em City without him getting free. Hill points out what's so glaringly obvious, it should only be viewed through a pinhole in black construction paper: "With no hope of leaving Oz, now he's got even more reason to fuck you up." Beecher: "Thank God I'm crazy, 'cause I don't give a shit." Beecher, the thing is, you might be sober in the morning. But Schillinger will still want to kill you. And I bet that's what the man in question is thinking right now, as he sits naked in the hole, sadness and loathing all over his face.
Pete goes to see Glynn, but is told by his secretary, a generic young blonde woman, that he's in with Mukada. Generic Blonde tells Pete that Glynn is a very nice man, and although she had reservations about working at a prison, she's really gotten used to it. Well, she's dead. Generic Blonde gets a call, looks a bit puzzled, and patches it through to Glynn. She tells Glynn his wife is on the line, and that it's urgent. Momentarily, a very agitated Glynn emerges, blows Pete off, and leaves, saying he doesn't know when he'll be back. Is he leaving on a jet plane? Mukada emerges and informs us, "Something's happened. Something's wrong." Baby, it's happening.
McManus finds Diane and tells her he wants her back in Em City. She declines. McManus tells her Schillinger is claiming that she shot Ross. She points out that since she set him up, he's not a credible witness. McManus asks her if he killed Ross. Wasn't he right there? She says no, not particularly convincingly, and leaves.
Staff meeting. Generic Blonde enters and says that Glynn won't be able to make it, and that Pete should run the meeting. Ha ha, McManus! Mukada asks "Sarah" what happened, but she can only tell him that Glynn's daughter is in the hospital. After some concerned glances, Pete starts the meeting.
Glynn sits in his office. Sarah buzzes and says it's time for him to address the prisoners. In the cafeteria, Glynn announces that the librarian will only be available during certain hours. Alvarez pipes up that the rest of the time, she'll be with him. There's no accompanying sound, probably because the Foley guys didn't know how to express "touching a raw nerve." Glynn's face hardens, however, and he has the hacks take Alvarez away. Later, back in Glynn's office, Alvarez is shown in. He stands there, but Glynn ignores him. Yeah, Glynn is definitely straight. After what seems like an eternity, Alvarez manages a "Yo," but Glynn keeps his eyes on his paperwork. When Alvarez tries to sit down, however, Glynn barks at him to get up. Alvarez's scar is about a tenth of the thickness it was in the laundry-room scene with Schillinger, by the way. Glynn tells him that he's been reassigned to work in his office, and to go over to the door. He says to stand there until he needs him to do something. Hee. We see the clock, which reads noon, and Alvarez tells Glynn that his mother and sisters are coming to visit him at four. The clock goes to five to one. Sarah takes notes on what Glynn tells her, and nervously steals glances at Alvarez. Yeah, she's straight, too. He winks at her. Again, hee. She looks like she might get the vapors. 2:05. Glynn talks on the phone with his back to Alvarez. Alvarez stands and smiles mirthlessly to himself. 2:55. Glynn holds a meeting in his office with Alvarez standing right there. I'd find that incredibly distracting if I were a meeting participant. I'd find it even more distracting if I were me. 3:50. Alvarez, now alone, sits in a chair, but when Glynn reenters, he quickly stands. Heh. Alvarez points out the time, and says he hasn't done "dick" all day. Shame. Glynn seizes on that, and tells Alvarez to clean his bathroom. When he's done, he can meet his family. Alvarez seethes, but gets to work. Later, he runs to the glass visiting area, but there's no one there. He curses. How long did his family wait, anyway?
Glynn's office. Alvarez is alone and back in the chair when Sarah enters, looking for some file. Alvarez starts hitting on her, which doesn't help her search efforts. It probably doesn't help her underwear, either, but these things happen. Glynn enters, and starts looking for the file as well. He freaks out at a comment from Alvarez, saying he doesn't speak unless spoken to, and he never talks to Sarah. Alvarez: "Talk to her? I already fucked her." Not quite the right thing to say, I'm guessing. Glynn whacks him. Alvarez hits him back, but we see why Glynn was once a hack, as he wrestles Alvarez to the couch and starts choking him. Sarah goes for help, and two hacks get Glynn off Alvarez and start dragging him away. Glynn: "Take him to the hole!" And those, my friends, are the five words I have most been longing to hear with respect to Alvarez. Sarah tells Glynn that his lip's bleeding. She looks horrified. Yeah, prison's just a walk in the park, isn't it, dear?
Alvarez gets thrown in the hole, naked. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Slow-forward (tm Demian).
Gym. Leo's working the heavy bag when Pete comes to see him. She tells him that Sarah's thinking of quitting after what happened, and says that when she thinks of Glynn, the first word that comes to her mind is "balanced." The first word that comes to my mind is "Ghostbusters," but I'm just the recapper here. He asks her not to tell anyone else, but his oldest daughter was raped on her way to her college, and she's in the hospital, completely in shock. His voice breaks as he says that she never had a bad word to say about anyone. Aw. Pete asks who did it, and Glynn fills in the blank that it was some Latino kids. Pete sages that he shouldn't punish Alvarez for that, and I understand where she's coming from, but she's really not coming off as very sympathetic to Glynn's plight here, I have to say. She didn't even say she was sorry, for God's sack. She leaves, and Glynn punches the bag as we flash to his very pretty daughter. She walks through an alley, and is suddenly accosted by two young guys. She tries to back up, but two more appear behind her. One of the first two hits her, and they advance as we fade out. Yikes.
Hole. Mukada enters with a big smile. Yeah, he's definitely gay. He's got clothes for Alvarez, and says he can go back to Em City. Alvarez asks if Mukada convinced Glynn to let him out, but he says no. Alvarez starts to apologize for what happened during the riot, but Mukada emotionally says he doesn't want to talk about it. "I've already forgiven you, all right? I expect you'll do the same for Warden Glynn." They walk out. Glynn's in the hallway, still wearing his workout clothes, so apparently he came straight from the talk with Pete. He and Alvarez stare balefully at each other. Yeah, these two will be sailing on the Friend Ship together soon, for sure.
God, shut up, Hill.
Gym. Ryan's working out when some dude points out a stain on his shirt. He looks under it, and is chagrined to discover that his right nipple is bleeding. I think you and Adebisi need a safe word, Ryan. In the infirmary, Gloria examines the affected area and asks him some questions. Ryan flirts with her. I stare at his chest. Oh, come on, you were too. Gloria says she doesn't know what's wrong, and she'll have to check her medical books. Cut to her doing just that. Ryan gets X-rayed. Gloria makes a phone call, and when she hangs up, she looks very disturbed. The morning, she calls him into her office by his given name, which he picks up on. She breaks the news that he may have breast cancer. He laughs, but she's serious. Ryan: "I'm not a fag, you know that?" Yeah, yeah, we've been here before. He goes on: "I've been in this shithole for over a year, and I ain't ever taken it up the ass!" While that raises some obvious follow-up questions, I won't ask them out of respect for Ryan's situation here. He rants that he doesn't have a "chick's disease," and that he doesn't have breasts. "I got a chest! See it? Huh? See it?" Is this a trick question? He tells her to take more blood, but to get him another verdict.
Staff room. They all gossip about Ryan's disease. Mukada asks Gloria if she's sure about the diagnosis. She says she's only a G.P., but she consulted a friend who's an oncologist, and yeah, he's pretty darn sure. McManus says she should do the needle extract, but she claims that Ryan won't agree to it, which doesn't seem to jive with his whole "get another verdict" attitude, but there are only two minutes left in the episode, so what do I care? Pete offers to talk to Ryan, but Mukada thinks maybe he should do it, being a guy and all. They babble back and forth until McManus, of all people, gets the idea to flip a coin. Pete calls heads. It's never heads, Pete. Sure enough, as Ryan examines his chest in the mirror, Mukada approaches. Father Ray's just having the best couple of days, isn't he? Ryan says that Gloria's wrong, but Mukada counters that they won't know without the biopsy. Mukada is wearing a black leather jacket over his vestments. Is that allowed? Ryan says that if he does have it and the other prisoners find out, they'll pounce on his weakness and kill him. Mukada argues that if he lets the cancer spread, he'll die anyway. Ryan looks like he might cry, and this is by far the most vulnerable he's ever been. Aw. Nice job, Dean Winters.
Sometime later, Gloria and another doctor start the biopsy as Hill VOs yet another irrelevancy about the Aztecs. Later, Gloria looks at the sample under the microscope. We don't see her reaction, but given that one of the cells is moving around more spastically than Elaine Benes, I'm guessing the news is not good for our boy.
Solid episode, in what's really the season premiere. See you time!