God's Chillin'

Hill tells us, in way too upbeat a manner, that God created man, and He's been sucking the life out of us ever since. Let me grab my dancing shoes -- I can just tell this episode's going to be a party!

Mukada recites a prayer at a service for the most recently departed Oz inmate as Courtney Love croons, "Found pieces of Johnny Post's baaahhhhdy." Well, it would have been appropriate. We close in on a picture of the Late Demented sitting on the hood of a Jeep and holding a gun. Just like the one his mom has on her mantel. A trio of inmates sings a gospel hymn as several others pay their respects to the photo. The hymn continues as we cut to Glynn's office. The warden is telling his staff that they've had "three murders in two weeks." Er, what? If I were watching this for the first time, I'd conclude that Keane Light had swished on to The Great Big Bathhouse In The Sky, but since I know that's not the case, what am I missing here? Glynn says he's got the press shoved up his ass, which might be even more uncomfortable than a spoon. He goes on, "The Governor's threatening to send in the Feds. And my daughter wants to move into an apartment with her boyfriend. Can somebody help me out here?" Dude, I don't even know where to start. Cut back to the prisoners filing past Post's picture. We get a long look at Markstram. McManus says that the move is Keane's, since Post was one of his men, but opines that he's noticed a change in Keane, and maybe he won't seek revenge. "Maybe it's 'cause he got married. Or maybe he's just tired of the gangsta way of life." Cut to Keane, standing for a good long time in front of Post's picture.

Keane sits on the floor as a transvestite braids his hair. Hee. Pajama party in Keane's pod! Although who is this person? A friend of his brother's? Anyway, Adebisi and Markstram are present, and Adebisi thinks they should kill the "Wops" before Oz is locked down. Keane says to chill. Adebisi and Markstram wonder what's been up with him the past few days, and Adebisi points out that they also need to know who ratted Post out to the Italians. Keane tells them he knows who squealed, but he's not saying, as he's going to kill him himself. Stretch out those legs, O Lord Of The Dance. Adebisi leaves, and Markstram tells Keane to watch his back in case the Wise Guys find out he ordered the hit on Ortolani. Dude, I think they've got a damn fine idea now. Has everyone forgotten about Keane Light already?

Hill tells us being in a gang is like belonging to a religion. Well, death certainly permeates both. Keane calls Mavis for a round of hand-down-the-pants phone sex. Said walks in and manages to dampen Keane's enthusiasm with the power of his stare. Said's glower: The anti-Viagra. Carry a Polaroid of it around for those embarrassing situations.

In the main area, Ryan tells Schillinger and Beecher that Burruano wants to talk to him again; then the camera moves to show Rebadow telling Groves that God told him Post's dick was cut off and stuck in his mouth. Well, that sounds like the sort of thing He'd like to sit down and dish about, all right.

Weight room. D'Angelo enters, and Adebisi regales Markstram and Keane with a story of how the term "doo-wop" came into being. Not shockingly, it has to do with blacks killing Italians. A fight immediately breaks out. D'Angelo clocks Adebisi but good with a dumbbell, and gets the better of Markstram as well before Keane gets him to the floor and starts choking him with a barbell. The hacks rush in and pull Keane off. Groves, in the basketball area, watches the whole thing with interest, then dribbles a basketball fairly proficiently. I just love how no one fucks with him.

In his office, Glynn says into the phone that he wants a SORT team put on alert. I think it's fair to say that no one wants it to come to that. McManus paces nervously; then there's a knock on the door, and Keane, Said, and Schibetta enter. McManus is all, "Gentlemen, we have a problem," but Glynn cuts him off. Leo, how do you feel about moonlit walks on the beach? Oh good, I hate them too. Glynn speechifies that they need to contain the violence before the Feds come in and there's a riot. "Nobody wants a riot, right?" Glynn, you forgot to call Fontana to this meeting. The three prisoners agree that they don't want a riot, and Glynn charges them with getting the word out, because if there's one more instance of violence, Oz will be shut down faster than a game of three-card monte in front of a New York City police station.

In the main area, various people gossip about the news that they're not being locked down yet. Groves, with the aid of a pen and a lighter, is burning the word "MOM" on his left hand below the knuckles. Oh, no. He's not going to eat his hand, is he? Hill VOs that to belong, you have to share power and pain. Keane and Markstram are inspecting a small box in Keane's pod. Markstram wonders what it is, and Keane suggests it might be cannoli. It's more likely to be salami, I think. Yup -- Keane opens it and freaks, saying it's Post's dick. Markstram leaves, ostensibly to vomit. I'm just in shock that Fontana passed both on showing a dismembered dick and on showing projectile puking. Glad he didn't stay soft.

Hill blathers that some pain is yours alone. Yeah, like the pain of recapping these monologues.

After lights out, Keane lights a matchbook and tosses it onto his bed, starting a fire. His podmate starts screaming like a little girl, and the hacks come in, extinguish the fire, and pull Keane out. Maybe Keane's planning to come back from the grave as BOB. "Do you want to play with fire, Adebisi?" I think we all know the answer to that one.