Oz Meeeooow! (Fffft!)

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Meeeooow! (Fffft!)

The Truth And Nothing But... - Beecher puts cats around the world to shame as he scratches and slices Metzger into oblivion. Ryan plots revenge on Schillinger but fails, Keller tries to prove his love to Beecher, and McManus finally wises up. Oh, and some of Hill's monologues didn't suck, meaning the Couch Baron goes out on a high note.

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See No Evil

Escape From Oz - If that's your goal, you shouldn't watch the episode, because it's not that good, and also, it's gross. Alvarez blinds Rivera, Schillinger crucifies Sippel, and Keller and Schillinger break Beecher's arms and legs. Also, Ryan confesses that he had Cyril murder Preston, and we might be rid of Hill forever. Yeah, like I'd be that lucky.

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Is That A Bestiality Reference?

Animal Farm - Because there's very little that's Orwellian about the episode. Shirley rejects Adebisi, who starts seeing visions. Beecher's downward spiral continues. Cyril, fittingly enough, gets to know Schillinger in a very special way. Nappa comes to Oz, followed by Poet's non-triumphant return. Thank God it was too late to hear his verse.

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You Never Forget Your First Time

Strange Bedfellows - Peter Schibetta certainly won't, as Adebisi sticks it to him but good. Ryan dumps his wife, Alvarez's stock plummets, and Beecher and Keller move from real wrestling to lip wrestling. Wipe the drool off your chin.

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Wrestlemania

Family Bizness - McManus and Devlin wrestle, metaphorically. Ryan wrestles with insanity, also metaphorically. Keller and Beecher, on the other hand, wrestle quite literally, and y'all might want to pick your tongues up off the floor -- that's a shag carpet, after all.

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It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Chris-Mas

Losing Your Appeal - Keller shows up and befriends Beecher, but it turns out Schillinger has him in his pocket. Meanwhile, Hill loses his case. Like anyone ever gets out of this place alive.

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No More Mr. Nice Guy

Great Men - Schillinger gets out of the hole, and if I were Beecher, I'd watch my back, my ass, and anything else I valued. Shirley Bellinger comes to Oz, and I scarf a vodka tonic and do a little dance in tribute.

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Nice plan, brain trust.

Ancient Tribes - Although it would be perfectly reasonable to assume that I'm addressing McManus, I'm actually talking to Beecher, who sets Schillinger up and ruins his chances at parole. I'm sure he won't pay any sort of price for that, aren't you?

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Aw, Tom, It's Not Even My Birthday!

The Tip - McManus is shot! Ross is dead! This is the best episode ever!

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King Me, Asshole!

A Game Of Checkers - A riot breaks out when a game of checkers turns violent. Hey, this is Oz. It's also a killer ending to a great season.

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