This week's episode picks up right where we left off last week, in the middle of Luke's second basketball game. Whitey calls a time-out. The Ravenettes cheer their little, ahem, hearts out. Saucy. Eighteen seconds remain on the clock. The score is fifty-seven to fifty-five for the other team. Whitey barks, "We run Black and Nathan." He turns to Nathan, "And if they double you, fight through them." Woda points his saber of a forefinger: "And take your shot when you have five seconds left." The team nods in consent. Someone yells, "Ravens on three!" The hands go in for the three-count. The team's undefeated record is at stake. Where the hell is the mystery announcer? And does the high school have a radio station, and what happened to Tweedledum and Stinky? Any. Way. Karen bites her nails. Dan seethes in his seat. Peyton fiddles with her pom-poms. The game starts back up again. Nathan tries to take a shot, even though he's totally double-teamed. (That seems so dirty when I write it down here. It's making me blush.) He misses, and the ball sails right up and over the basket. Jake grabs the rebound and passes to Lucas. He takes the three-pointer, and just as the buzzer goes off announcing the end of the game, the ball slips effortlessly through the basket. The undefeated season remains intact. It would be an understatement to say that the crowd erupts -- but that's sort of what happens. Even Peyton displays an emotion approaching happiness. And that's hard when you're made of wood. Jaglieski jumps on Luke. In fact, the entire team jumps on Luke. Dadzilla gets up, disgusted with Nathan's performance. The Mystery Announcer screams, "And if you're going to play the Ravens this season, you'd better take note: There's a new Scott in town!" Heh. Nathan stands back from the rest of the team looking like a sucky-baby; what a sore loser, even when his team just won.
Karen and Keith greet Luke after the game with big smiles and even bigger hugs. Keith says, "For a kid that was about to quit that was some save." Luke makes some excuses about his earlier performance in the game, but Karen plays the mom-must-give-props card: "You were great." Luke turns to leave, telling his mom as he goes that he'll be home later; she tells him not too late, and Keith calls out, "You did good, Luke." See -- nice, normal parental interaction, from nice, normal parental-type people. What a difference some healthy perspective and a bit of emotional baggage makes! Keith envelops Karen under his arm as they walk off and says, "You did good too." Karen replies, "I can breathe now!" They walk off into the sunset -- well, actually, they walk into the path of a sunny blonde named Sherri. Sherri wants to let Karen know that as the mother of a varsity player, she can join the Boosters. Sherri says, "It's not required or anything, because I know you're really busy with that little café of yours." Karen tilts her head back and says, "Right. When do you meet?" Sherri replies, "Well, it varies." The more specific Karen gets, the less Sherri seems to want to give it up. Sherri ends the conversation thusly: "It's really good to see you, honey! Go Ravens!" Keith hisses at her as she goes, but Sherri doesn't see that -- you go, Keith.
Poor Dadzilla. He sits alone on the bench, looking dejected, as Nathan shuffles up to him. Without even looking at his son, Dan stands up and says, "I thought this was your team." Nathan looks after him as he walks away, mortified that his son could so something as heinous as miss a shot. Oh, Dan, your dreams are dashed and your life is ruined. What-freaking-ever.
Luke gets into his truck to find Brooke already there. Welcome to the varsity team! She says, "Hey you!" He stutters. And then he tries hard not to look at her, ahem, pom-poms. Luke says, "I think you got the wrong car." His voice rises about sixteen octaves. It's kind of cute. She continues, "Don't mind me, I just have to get out of this uniform. So, anyway, I'm Brooke, but you probably knew that." She takes off her skirt. "Can I tell you that last shot was awesome, how'd it feel?" She takes off her leopard print bra and hands it to him. It's just sitting on his shoulder when Whitey knocks on his window. He's got a lopsided grin on his face. Luke rolls down the window. Woda says, "That game wasn't horrible." Luke: "Thanks, Coach." Woda: "Don't turn pro yet, you drag your scrawny butt to the weight room twice a day starting now." Luke shakes his head and mutters, "Got it." Whew. He just thinks he's gotten away with it when Whitey turns around and says, "Oh, ah, by the way, there's a half-nekkid girl in the backseat of your car, I just thought you'd like to know." Heh. You dirty old Woda, you. Whitey tips his hat, gives Luke a what-for look, and then walks off. Brooke bounces back up, calls Whitey "grouchy," and then continues her seduction quest. She oozes, "So anyway, you're in it now, aren't you, when that last shot went through, did you feel it change?" Luke exhales, "Feel what change?" "Everything. How many moments in life can you point to and say, 'That's when it all changed.' You just had one." She slides her perfectly manicured hand onto his shoulder and says huskily, "But don't worry, baby, the popularity thing's not so bad." Hey, TPTB, please, please let him end up with Brooke, at least for a little while -- she's so much fun, and we hate Peyton.
Blah blah bad theme song blah. Is it so much to ask that one show I recap actually end up with a decent theme song?
Seems Nathan's utterly disinterested in making out with his girlfriend, again. Seems Nathan's grumpy about Lucas actually challenging his position at the top of the food chain, again. He lies on Peyton's bed with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. "Unbelievable," he moans, "the guy scores twelve measly points and they act like he's Iverson." He pisses, "You know how many games I scored more than that in? All but two and one of them, I had mono." Does Peyton even have parents? Do they not care that Nathan's upstairs, lying down on her bed with her? Have things really changed that much since I was a teenager? So, Peyton's all randy again; she leans in, nibbles on his ear, and says, "Well, you don't have mono now. Care to prove it?" Nathan scrunches up his eyebrows and whines, "My dad's going to hammer me." Peyton rolls over and rolls her eyes. Nathan doesn't notice. But he does notice a change. She says, "With your dad." He replies, "No, with your room. Something's different." Peyton investigates the hair on her arm. She's wondering how hair actually grows on wood. "It's my walls. I took my sketches down." Nathan looks around blankly for a while: "What sketches?" Honestly? So contrived. They've been going out for so long, and he hates her music, totally verbally abuses her sometimes, and doesn't even know she's an artist? You've got to be kidding me -- no one could be that dumb, even in a television relationship. Oh, but wait, Peyton's not being true to herself, that's the "message" of the week.
Haley stands around the café, waiting for Lucas. Why are there never any customers in Karen's Café? She turns the "Open" to "Closed" just as Luke walks through the door. She looks nervous for him. He says, "Twelve points, eight assists, and I made the game-winning shot!" Haley squeals and jumps on him. "That's great, right?" Luke says humbly, "Yeah, it's okay." Haley complains, "I can't believe I had to work. Tell me all about it." Luke tells her that the beginning was a bit rough because he ran into Dadzilla. Haley wonders if he wants to talk about it, but Luke says he'd rather go check out the Burning Boat festival. Which I'm assuming is Tree Hill's PG version of the Burning Man festival. Haley says, "Well, I think I can be seen with you -- let me just call home and tell them not to wait up." She picks up the phone and leaves a wacky message while making the "tipsy" signal with her fingers; the universal sign of "someone's been hitting the hooch." Only that's the joke; Haley's mom wasn't drinking at all. The girl just got the machine and wanted to make Luke laugh. Haley grabs her jacket and struts out the front door.
Karen and Keith sit in his tow truck down by the river. That thing must be a pain in the ass to park. Karen's reliving the moment with Sherri, The Oh-So Very Booster Mom: "And did you catch that dig about my little café?" Keith, now becoming famous on this show for, well, simply telling it like it is, says, "Why do you care? It's not like you're going to join the Boosters." Karen tells him that's not the point, and being a girl, well, I can kind of understand. "It's like they're still in high school, really," Karen says. "Let it go." Keith tells her that's good advice. Karen eats a fry. Then she looks at him: "What's that supposed to mean?" Apparently, Karen still owns her cheerleading sweater. He says, "All I'm saying is that Memory Lane is a two-way street." Karen retorts, "Yeah, so is You Don't Know What The Hell You're Talking About Boulevard." Man, the writers really need to work on their comebacks, because they're riding down Lame Street. Karen tries to convince Keith that it's not about "high school" at all. He shakes his head and replies, "Whatever you say."
So, it's really late at night -- well, it's at least after eight, maybe even nine, and Nathan's gone home, because Peyton's in her room by herself. Her personal phone line rings and the machine picks up, and like every other answering machine on television, it plays the message out loud while she listens. Seems like no one in television-land has ever heard of a little thing we know as Call Answer, but whatever. It's Jeff Nelson calling from Thud Magazine. Only he doesn't say "Thud" like you would imagine it to sound -- you know, like a telephone book falling to the ground really quick and loud. No, he says "Th-ud," like it's a too-cool-for-school alternative magazine. The point of his message? That he thinks the sketches her friend dropped off are terrific. He tells Peyton to give him a call. She moves her eyebrows around to approximate emotion. Then she scowls, because that's pretty much her range of emotion. Oh, and I'm sure the fans of her web cam were thrilled with the performance. Shut up, Peyton's eyebrows; just shut up.
Apparently, it's the 83rd Annual Tree Hill Burning Boat Festival. This show needs to stop with the announcers as a way of serving up plot developments. There's a guy on a loudspeaker, explaining what the Burning Boat Festival is to anyone who'll listen. TPTB also need to trust that the audience can gather information simply by character conversation and interaction alone -- we don't always need the anvil to follow. We could have gotten what the festival was simply by Luke and Haley talking about what they were going to burn this year and why; but no, we get Mystery Announcer #2 blabbing on about bad karma. I can pretty much guarantee that the use of the word "karma" in terms of burning stuff in a boat to exorcise personal demons was not invented almost a century ago. But whatever -- no one cares about facts on this damn show, because if they did, they'd let us know how the hell Nathan and Luke are the same bloody age. So anyway, the boats on the riverside will be collecting items all week for the collective burning. Many extras lumber toward the boats with odd things in their hands -- teddy bears, crutches, et cetera. A kid who probably goes to Tree Hill High says, "Nice game!" to Luke as he and Haley walk by. She smiles, "Wow, you are just blowing up!" Luke mocks, "Oh yeah, I'm a big star now, you'd better hope I keep you around." Haley jokes, "You know, I'm going to try not to lose sleep over that, thanks." He laughs. Then Haley goes on to say that last night she was watching Scandinavian Week on History Channel. Shout-out? I think so -- I work for a sort of Canadian version called History Television. Huh -- coincidence, I think not! Luke interrupts to wonder why, and Haley explains, "Because blond Viking guys are hot." So, apparently, the whole Burning Boat Festival is a "rip-off" of a Viking funeral. Yawn. A kid comes up to them and says, "Did you know you're the bomb!" Luke says, "Thanks." But fake-out! He was talking to Haley. He holds up his school paper. Haley says, "Brandon, B-plus, that's awesome!" Apparently, Brandon just threw all of his bad grades into the pot; he's not going back to that. Seems that Haley's one hell of a tutor. And so Haley fills the final role in the show's selection of stereotypical girls -- she's the smart one, Brooke's the slutty one, and Peyton's the "alternative" one who still feels the need to "fit" in. After Brandon goes, Luke congratulates her on a job well done. Haley asks him what bad "mojo" he's burning this year. He holds up the "Scott" from his jersey and tosses it into the boat. He says, "So, we're going to watch it together, right?" Haley acts all coy: "Maybe, I'm going to have to check my schedule." Blah she's been told she's the bomb blah. He laughs and follows her.
The day, everyone's back at school. Haley stands with Luke at his locker while he gets his books. A girl on the prowl saunters by; she twirls her hair and says, "Great game, Lucas." He smiles at her but doesn't say anything. Haley seems stunned. She cracks, "Okay, I'm going to the Tutoring Centre so I can feel superior." Then they make plans to see Attack of the 50-Foot Woman at the rep cinema tomorrow night. Nathan and Tim watch the whole scene from the other end of the hallway. Nathan: "Hey, who's that girl he's always hanging out with?" Tim: "Who knows? Why, you feel like slumming?" Tim has yet to live down his nickname, Jock Jerk #1. They both walk off. Peyton shows up and slams Luke's locker shut for him. She bitches, "Who the hell do you think you are?" Luke retorts, "Someone you're pissed at." Peyton whines, "You submitted my stuff to Thud Magazine." Oh, Peyton, poor you -- someone doing something nice for you, how dare they! Luke bets that Thud Magazine liked them, right? Peyton whines, "If I wanted your help I would ask for it." Brooke doesn't walk. She saunters -- in fact, she saunters sexily -- toward them. She tosses Peyton a "hey girl" and then asks Luke if he found her, ahem, leopard print bra in his car. He hands it to her. Heh. Brooke leaves. Luke gives Peyton the moony eyes, and she storms off. He screams, "You're welcome."
Peyton catches up with Brooke. She asks, "What you got there?" Brooke says coyly, "What?" Peyton: "You know what, the Brooke Davis leopard bra, dude, that thing's like a welcome mat." Brooke laughs. Peyton continues, "Anyway, I heard you were naked in his car." Brooke protests, "No! I was partially naked, at one point I had mittens on because it was cold, oh, did you see --" Peyton asks her to focus on being a slut in mittens for a second. Heh. Apparently, nothing happened, well, because Luke's saving himself for Peyton. Yawn. No, really -- Brooke got dressed; Luke drove her home, said goodnight, and waited until she got into the house. Peyton: "Maybe he's gay." Brooke says, "No, I think he's just nice." She pauses. "Anyway, it's going to be so right when he sleeps with me." You go, Brooke, we can't wait -- you're the most fun we've seen so far on this show that takes itself way, way too seriously.
My guess is that it's way, way after school now, because Luke's naked and in the shower. I'm assuming he just finished practice. Does the b-ball team have its own locker room? Any. Way. He's naked, right down to his, ahem, basketballs -- which he ends up wearing, one in front, and one in back, after he discovers that the team's not only taken his towel, but all the clothes from his locker as well. Let the hazing begin. CMM's very tall and lanky. He looks good naked. Whitey discovers him in the hallway. He cracks, "I was just getting used to low-waist jeans." Heh. Luke tries to slink away. Who knows where he was going. Whitey turns around and yells, "Let's go, ball boy." I guess he's got extra clothes Luke can borrow. The poor kid looks absolutely mortified.
Luke and Keith are underneath a car that's being hoisted up by that…car-hoister thingy. Love to know what the hell that thing is called. ["I believe the technical term is in fact 'car-hoister thingy.'" -- Sars] Keith asks him how things have been at school since the game. Their arms are well above their heads, deep into what looks like a muffler. Luke answers, "Um, different. You know people I've never talked to say hello like they've always known me. My teachers smile more. Cheerleaders strip in your car." Keith jokes, "Sounds like the good life." Luke says, "Sounds like it, but not really -- the team's hazing me a little bit." I wonder if their arms started to hurt after having to do different takes. Apparently, that happened back when Keith was on the team too. His advice? To roll with it unless it gets really out of hand. He wants Luke to "show them what [he's] made of." The phone rings, and Keith exits car left.
I can't keep track of the days. The team's back in the gym for practice. Lucas sinks a shot. Whitey watches, then walks around him and calls to Nathan. Woda explains, "I'm tinkering with the offense. You'll be playing more small forward." Nathan snarks, "Forget it, I'm the shooting guard." Woda laughs, in that sort of mocking way he's so good at, "I'm sorry. I thought I was the coach, and you can call me that -- and I'll call you small forward." It's good to see someone stand up to the little pisser. "Nathan Scott, small forward, has a nice ring to it." The whistle blows. Nathan steams. He doesn't deal at all well with authority.
Nathan gets home to find his father sitting in the dark with a glass of scotch. You've got to be kidding me -- Lucas scoring the game-winning basket has ruined Dan's life to the extent that he's started drinking? In the dark? This man has more issues then I can count on my fingers, toes, and all the extra pounds I carry around. Wait -- not only is Dan sitting, he's also brooding. Now, that's healthy. He snaps, "I hear Whitey gave your spot to Lucas." What? Does he have a Dadzilla line where he can be reached in case of b-ball emergency? He moans, "Do you even care that it's slipping away?" Dan takes a deep breath: "All the work we've put into it, all the plans that we've made." Dan, dude, you're not training Nathan for the presidency -- it's just a high school basketball team. Let's get some perspective here, buddy. Nathan snaps back, "All the plans you've made, Dad, all the work I've done." Like father, like son, selfish to the core. The ice cubes clink in Dan's glass as he sets it down: "Fine. Quit the team, hell, quit school for that matter. I've give you a job at the dealership and you can spend the rest of your haggling over free floor mats with morons, because that's where you're headed. And that's if I give you the job." Um, okay, but isn't Dan like the richest guy in town? So, how is his life so bad exactly? And what, like you're not going to give your son a job at the dealership that you own just because something completely out of his control, like Woda switching up the offence, happens? Dan takes a deep breath: "I just want more for you Nathan, more than the nine-to-five and the feeling that you could have had a better life." Um, again -- how is being rich, successful, and a former basketball star all that bad? This whole thing just rings so false, because Dan doesn't want Nathan to have a better life; he wants his son to lead the life he didn't get to lead. Those are two very different things. ["Also, it's HIGH SCHOOL basketball. I really don't think Nathan is in line to start for the Lakers, which makes Dadzilla's constant drama-queenery about it even more absurd." -- Sars] Nathan nods. Dan continues, "And I want you to be happy. I do. But I need you to tell me that you still want to do this, do you?" Nathan looks like a little boy when he nods. Dan takes a step forward: "Okay. But happiness doesn't come cheap, hell, if it did, we'd all be smiling." Um, is that Dan's version of parental advice? And how does he measure happiness? In terms of success on the court? Man, I'd hate to be Nathan right about now.
The morning, Dan continues to berate Nathan, only he masks his manipulation under cover of "advice." He's the master behind the evil parental puppet show, and Nathan's his puppet: "Didn't I tell you this was going to happen? Whitey's using you to get back at me. I'm sorry, Nathan, because it's not your fault." Every night, Dan lies in his bed reciting, "Dan Scott, Centre of Tree Hill, Centre of the Earth, Centre of the Universe, Centre of the Galaxy, Centre of Everything Ever Known to Humankind." Nathan: "What am I supposed to do, Dad, it's Whitey's team?" Dan faces his son: "No, it's not. Whitey didn't understand when I was playing for him and he doesn't get it now. This is your team, not his." Nathan listens. "What position do you want to play?" Nathan replies, "I think I'm a stronger shooting guard." Dan agrees: "So if this kid's taken your place on the team, he's no longer your teammate, he's your opponent." Good grief. Dan starts with strategy: "How do we defeat an opponent? Identify his weaknesses and attack them." Dan takes a sip of coffee. We are talking about the same thing here, right? A. High. School. Basketball. Team.
From the devil's lips to Nathan's ears. I'm assuming we're now in that afternoon's practice, because Nathan's shoring up support for his plot to overthrow the evil "bastard spawn." What-freaking-ever. I can't believe kids are dumb enough to fall for this crap. "Look, you guys are the ones I feel sorry for. I'm going to get my minutes, but you guys have been busting your tails since the junior leagues. Now you finally get your shot and Whitey gives the starting spot to this guy?" He's even rolled into Dan's language -- it's like his father simply talks through him. The team eats it up. Tim asks, "What are we going to do?" Nathan: "We're going to make him earn it. We're at least going to make him suffer like we did." Luke comes into the locker room at that exact moment. No one says anything as he walks toward his locker, opens it up, and water pours out everywhere. The team laughs. Nathan snots, "It's only going to get worse, man." They head into the gym. Luke looks pissed. Jake comes around the corner: "So the hazing begins. Right on schedule." He sniffs. "Can you smell the desperation?" He hands Luke some spare practice clothes. "We all went through it, hang in there."
The team warms up. Tim and Nathan continue to plot. Tim says, "What if we haze this guy and he doesn't go away?" Nathan believes that he will. And even if he doesn't, he's got a backup plan, just like Dr. Evil.
Okay, maybe they practice in the morning, because Nathan shows up at the Tutoring Centre…later that day? Haley is looking through some files when Nathan walks through the door and says nonchalantly, "Hey." Haley turns to him with her hand still in the filing cabinet above the desk: "Can I help you?" Nathan replies, "I hope so, you're my tutor." He hands her a paper. Haley investigates it, then apologizes, "I'm sorry. I'm best friends with Lucas." Nathan cracks, "Well, I'm sorry too." She tells him to forget it. He really needs her help. Apparently there's no one else to help him. She corrects his grammar and shuts him down: "Look, I can't help you and on top of that, I won't help you, okay?" She walks away, leaving Nathan amazed that any woman would resist his charms. Yawn.
Peyton sits in the offices of Thud Magazine. Jeff finds her drawings "interesting." Then he asks where she's studied. Peyton deadpans, "Mostly my bedroom?" Jeff harrumphs; then he compliments her by saying that's surprising, considering her talents. Peyton smiles. It cracks the veneer on her face. She's so wooden, I think she's a female version of Pinocchio -- one with nary an option to ever become human. Jeff: "Well, your stuff is great, but I do have a few concerns. You're younger then I expected. And we have firm deadlines for our press run." Okay, dude's wearing a paisley-inspired shirt and a medallion. Never trust a man wearing anything remotely inspired by paisley, or a medallion. Peyton, he's trying way to hard to be cool. Peyton says, "Give me a deadline, I'll meet it," way too quickly. He studies her for a second. "All right. How about a test strip? Use your high school characters but give them a twist." Blah the magazine wants wish fulfillment, blah enough with the tragedy already, blah pretty girls, popular. Peyton says, "Like a cheerleader?" He smiles and says, "Perfect." Um, what kind of alternative magazine that wants to publish alternative comics actually doesn't want tragic characters, but pretty, popular ones without a hint of irony instead? Yeah, the nail's in Thud's coffin already in my book. Peyton smiles in a tragic way when he continues, "A cheerleader's always happy!" What kind of a comic does he want, a Ziggy-inspired high school comic for new-millennium teenagers?
English class. Let's hope this class continues all this season. I just can't wait for the in the long litany of authors of the week. Mr. Kelly says, "Identity -- this was a common theme in the work of E.E. Cummings." He drones away in the background as Brooke leans over and asks Luke his favourite colour. Then she counts it out on one of those old-school, paper fortune-telling doodads where we used to write the names of the boys we wanted to kiss back in Grade Seven. She asks his favourite number. He holds up three fingers. She counts that off. Then she says, "Okay, what's your favourite sexual position." Luke, ahem, cocks his eyebrow, but doesn't say anything. Brooke continues, "I'll use mine." She counts, and counts, and counts. She finally gets to the end, flips up the fortune, and says, "So you like me!" Luke seems kind of dumbfounded. Mr. Kelly continues his lecture after taking away Brooke's toy. This week's lesson: E.E. Cummings's poetry contains two major themes, sex and war. Yes, my friends, that's the sound of hundreds of miniature red wheelbarrows landing around me like rain. The teacher drops a paper on Nathan's desk -- the poor kid got an F. The assignment for the class is to bring in something written by Cummings. Nathan looks like he's having the worst week of his miserable sixteen-year-old life.
Taking a page from his father's book, Nathan heads back into the Tutoring Centre and says, "Look, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be fine." Haley shakes her head a bit and says, "Good." Nathan holds up his paper: "I mean, if this were fine, right?" Then he walks out, leaving Haley behind to cope with one hell of a guilty conscience. Poor Haley; she's actually a really good person. Ill-conceived overtones of Dawson's Creek aside, she is turning into another character I actually kind of like on this show. Her relationship with Lucas reminds me of one of the best friends I ever had in high school; it was a totally platonic relationship driven by the fact I was essentially parentless and he had a car, not to mention a lot of movies, Diet Coke, and Ranch Doritos. I miss those days.
Brooke's getting her legs waxed. Um, but don't you have to let the hair grow for a while to do something like that? And why would Brooke show up in the back of Luke's car with hairy legs? Any. Way. Peyton asks, "So, how's your Lucas quest going?" Brooke says, "Fine." The beautician rips off the wax, and she says, "Ouch! Hand." Peyton holds out her hand: "Let me ask you something. Why are you being so persistent with this one? You normally would have moved on by now." Brooke's face grimaces in the expectation of more pain. She asks if Peyton's jealous. Then she asks if Peyton "likes" Lucas. Of course, Peyton denies everything and replies, "See, there's this guy named Nathan, who's also called my boyfriend." In the midst of more ripping, Brooke says thoughtfully, "Well, maybe I want a boyfriend too. Someone reliable for once, steady, without all the drama, anger and pettiness you and Nathan have." Brooke giggles. Peyton reaches over and rips off a strip of wax -- just to punish Brooke for actually being right. Then she laughs too.
Keith fills salt containers over at Karen's Café. Um, there are never any customers. How does this business stay afloat? Keith asks, "Isn't Haley working today?" Karen tells him she's making a delivery. He wonders if she ever goes home. Karen explains that Haley comes from a big family, and that Luke and Haley have known each other since they were eight or nine. Karen explains, "When she saw it was just me and Lucas, and I think she said, 'I come from a big family, I think you guys need me more.'" They discuss the hazing, blah he told Luke not to take it personally blah. Then Karen tells Keith she thinks she took her whole run-in with Sherri a bit too personally. Keith twinkles, "I think I know how you can find out."
And just like that, we're at a meeting of the Boosters. Sherri sits at the front of the classroom. "Okay, the last item on the agenda is fundraising. So, we'll have our booth at Burning Boat." Karen walks in, and Sherri seems rather surprised to see her. In fact, the whole room looks surprised to see her, as registered by the look of shock on the faces of the Booster women. Karen asks, "You start at six, right?" Sherri mumbles an excuse: "No, sweetie, we start at five sharp. You must have misunderstood me." Karen says, "Sure." Sherri turns to the rest of the group: "Everybody, this is Karen, Lucas Scott's mother." Someone speaks up and says, "Oh, so you're Dan's ex." Karen corrects her: "Actually, we were never married." An awkward pause fills the room. Karen: "I just thought I'd come down and introduce myself to all of you." Another Booster Mother speaks up: "Is Lucas on the team for good?" What does she mean? "Well, I mean, it just seems strange that a new boy on the team becomes a starter ahead of boys who've been Ravens for years." Karen doesn't say anything, but Sherri does: "Now, as I was saying, I think that Burning Boat --" But Karen's not going to take anyone trash-talking her son: "It's because he's good. Coach Durham thinks he deserves to and maybe you want to tell your sons that, so maybe they think about it the time they steal his wallet or ruin his clothes or whatever they have planned for him." Bitchy Booster #2 says, "Excuse me?" Karen retorts, "He's a kid who's doing his best." So there -- you go, Karen. Hell hath no fury like a mother of a son scorned. Only Sherri won't stand for that kind of smart lip during Boosters: "Whoa, whoa, you walk in here, late I might add, and start making accusations about our boys? Our boys are the good ones." Karen echoes my thoughts exactly: "Exactly what does that mean?" Sherri snarks, "You know exactly what I mean." Well, Karen's reached the end of her Booster Rope: "You know, Sherri, I came down here wanting to give you the benefit of the doubt, but clearly you're still the same petty little bitch you were in high school." With that, Karen leaves her first and only meeting, with a gaggle of Booster moms huffing and puffing in her wake of self-righteousness. Go, Karen.
Luke drives down to Riverside Courts, only to find that it's been completely vandalized. Garbage is strewn everywhere. They've ripped out most of the chains around the basket and spray-painted "You Suck" on the board. Now, it's one thing to mess with Lucas in the Ravens' setting; it's quite another to make it personal by destroying the courts. What's up with these guys? What's up with Tree Hill? Seems everyone has a bit of petty vindictiveness in him/her this week.
Luke stands on top of a stepladder, scrubbing the "You Suck" off the backboard. Peyton drives up in her Comicgirlmobile. She says, "I heard about this." Wow, between that and knowing about Brooke being naked in the back of Luke's car, Peyton seems to be quite in the loop with the Tree Hill High gossip. Maybe her web cam acts as a two-way radio. Weepy music plays in the background. Peyton continues, "I hoped it wasn't true." Luke's not in the mood for small talk: "What do you want, Peyton?" The hard bristles of the brush whoosh, whoosh on the metal backboard. Man, that's just so not cool. She replies, "I just wanted tell you I'm not doing the comic strip." Luke says, "That would be a mistake." Blah maybe some people aren't ready, blah expose themselves to the world, blah cop-out, blah blah blah feel sorry for herself blah. Luke snaps, "Well, maybe you are ready, but you're just scared." You know, Peyton, perhaps now's not the best time to talk about yourself. Maybe it might be a good idea to pick up a bloody broom and start sweeping up the mess your boyfriend made because he's too afraid to deal with his life like a real man. Luke comes down from the ladder. He asks, "Well, did you at least meet with them?" Peyton stands there with her hands in her back pockets: "Yeah, the editor loved my stuff. He just wanted me to change it into something totally different. It's not really that big of a deal." She looks around at the ground. Kicks some garbage Nathan left behind. "I guess I just wanted to say thanks." For the first time since she got there, Luke actually smiles. "Wow, did Peyton Sawyer just say thank you?" That comment makes her a bit nervous, so she changes the subject: "Look, if Nathan did this, I'm sorry." What's that? Number four or five on the "my boyfriend's an abusive asshole" list? Apologizing to the people he hurts for his assholish actions. Luke asks, "Why do you stay with him?" She answers, "Because sometimes it's good, sometimes there's no one else." That's it? That's the only reason? Not even a tepid "because I think I love him"? Good grief. She walks away. Luke calls after she leaves, "Hey, Peyton?" She turns around. "That editor's wrong." She smiles and nods. Ah, they have such a connection. Yawn.
Karen's Café still has no customers. What are they all doing there all the time? The phone rings. Haley answers. Nathan's voice on the other end asks for Haley James. She answers, "Yes, this is her." Whew. Good to see people who scold others for their grammar errors don't take it all that seriously. Nathan says, "It's Nathan Scott, um, I really need your help." She hangs up on him. Heh. I guess he's not used to people just blowing him off like that. Well, that's not right -- he's actually pretty used to Peyton hanging up on him. Karen comes in and asks who was on the phone. Haley says hastily, "Wrong number." Karen: "You just said this is her, what'd you forget your name?" Haley laughs a polite kind of laugh; you know the one, when that rather strange member of your family makes an awkward joke at the dinner table and you just have to laugh. Karen asks her what's up. Haley tells her that there's this guy that wants her to tutor him, but that she doesn't want to because he's kind of a bad guy. Karen gives Haley a very parental stare. Haley says, "You've got that look my mom always gets when she wants to throw her two cents in. What, come on." Blah good instincts, blah Karen's not going to tell her what to do, blah the boy came for tutoring, blah maybe he's trying to change blah. Karen says, "There might be something in there worth saving," as she puts two pennies on the counter beside Haley.
Luke and Keith are back at the shop. How come Luke's a kid who likes to read who never has a book? When does he read? And how often are these kids working after school -- don't they have homework? Anyway. Keith says he owes Luke an apology. "I told you not to take things personally, but they made it personal." They try the engine again. There's a knock on the door; Keith yells they're closed, but Jake comes in anyway. He introduces himself to Keith, who then leaves to do the mysterious paperwork he always seems to have whenever Luke's friends show up at the shop. Jake says, "I heard about the court." Luke snaps, "You heard about it or you were there?" Jake: "Hey, I don't buy into that mob rule nonsense. I play defense. I live my life, that's it." Luke wonders about the rest of the team. Jake says, "Look, the guys on the team, they're in a tough spot. Because of the suspensions, most of these guys are younger. And they're not going to stand up to Nathan. It's not right, but that's the way it is." Luke scowls at Jake. "Yeah, well, the way it is, doesn't work for me and it doesn't work for my friends." Who have conveniently disappeared from this episode. We haven't seen them in a long while. Jake explains that that's kind of why he's there. He says, "This thing could get really messy if someone doesn't take the high road. I know it's not my place to ask, but I was hoping you could rise above it." Luke doesn't know if he can rise above it -- they attacked Riverside Courts, man! It's good advice from Jake; he seems to be the Buddha of Basketball, taking a page out of Woda's book. Blah the team will come around blah, even if they don't, Jake's got his back. Of course he does.
Haley and Luke walk along the riverside. She can't believe they trashed the court. He traces the whole sordid hazing history of the last few days. She asks, "Do you think they're going to let up anytime soon?" Luke laughs and says, "No chance. And do you want to know why?" His hands flail around, punctuating the air with each word. "Because Nathan controls the team. There's no way in hell he's going to back off." The big wheels start turning in Haley's big brain. She begins to tell Luke about Nathan coming into the Tutoring Centre, but changes her mind, asking if they're still going to the movies tomorrow night. They are -- Luke says it sounds like fun. "How far do you really think Nathan's going to go?" Haley asks. He replies, "As far as he wants to go until somebody stops him." And there they go again; it's like gerbils are in her brain, the wheels are moving so fast.
It's dark, but Peyton's back at school for some reason. She finds her sketch in her locker -- it's the one that says "They Are Not You." You know, the one that changed Luke's life. Yawn. At least they've thankfully cut Peyton's lines down this episode. All she does in this scene is look around to see if the person who left it there is still around. They're not, of course, because it's nighttime and people really shouldn't be checking their lockers anyway. Go home, Peyton -- don't you have a web cam to stare blankly at?
Haley watches Nathan in class the day.
Karen serves some customers as Sherri the Booster Bitch saunters by on the street and gives her some dirty looks.
Luke sweeps up the rest of the crap at the Riverside Courts. He's fixed the backboard, but it's still without a net.
Back in practice, Luke throws a picture-perfect three-pointer while Woda watches. Nathan seems a bit dumbstruck as he just stares at Luke, not knowing whether to kill Luke or himself, his anger reaching a boiling point.
Haley waits by the rep cinema. Seems Luke's a bit late. She's already got the tickets. He walks up beside the theatre, but before he gets there, Tim and the rest of the Jock Jerk squad scoop him up, throw a pillowcase over his head, and throw him into the back of a minivan. I kept waiting for Will Ferrell to jump out and grab some chips, apologize to Haley, and tell her that Luke'll be back by dinner. Something tells me this isn't quite Old School, but oh, how I wish it were that movie instead of this silly prank. The van roars off with Luke kicking and screaming in the back seat.
The boys have tied Luke's hands behind him. They rip him out of the van, pull the hood off of him and throw him into some swampy, dirty, murky waters. It's nasty water that even Steve-O wouldn't jump into with a pole vault. He jumps to his feet as Nathan comes up in front of him. "Well, well," Nathan says. "The gang's all here. Told you it was going to get worse. See, normally, this is when you'd become part of the team. We'd have a keg, tell some war stories, but you had to know this wasn't going to happen." Blah the guys made a choice to back Nathan, blah but they'll be nice, blah he can walk away, blah quit the team blah. "Otherwise it's going to get ugly." They mock Luke as they all get back into the van, something about hoping he'll have a nice walk home. Now, they're taking it a bit too far.
Luke gets back home to find his mom sleeping in his room. She was waiting for him. Karen sees what a mess he is and asks what happened. He replies, "I had a little run-in with the team." She sighs. Well, at least the dirty clothes give her some laundry to do. Karen says, "If it makes you feel any better, I called some woman a bitch the other day." Her son laughs. But it doesn't make him feel any better. She says, "Sometimes I wonder where you get all your strength." Well, from her, of course. Blah she doesn't know about that, blah she's proud of him, blah she's not been on her best behaviour blah. Luke says, "They don't make it easy, do they?" Karen: "No they don't, but that doesn't mean we have to sink to their level." Luke: "We can take the high road, right, sounds familiar." He brings on his "serious" voice: "Mom, I tried that, and I want to make you proud, I do, but there comes a certain point where you have to fight back." Pause. Pause. "And I'm at that point." Good for you, Luke, hope you crack Nathan right in the nose.
They're in practice again. Tim won't pass the ball to Luke, who's wide open. So, Luke just runs up, takes the ball, and dunks it into the basket. This pisses Tim off, so he shoves Luke, and then Luke shoves him right back. Whitey blows the whistle. Jake gets in there and holds the two boys apart. Tim whines. Whitey tells him off. But then he tells Luke off too for not playing as a "team." Nathan smiles as his half-brother gets bawled out. Whitey screams something about getting their heads out of their asses. Jake jokes about the high road. The team retires for the day.
Luke meets Haley after school and tries to apologize for standing her up last night. It's okay, though, because Karen already told her what happened. Luke doesn't think they're going to lay off him. For some reason, this makes Haley almost start to cry, so he hugs her -- aw. Blah he'll find a way to get past it blah. The Ferris wheel almost bursts out of Haley's skull. She says softly, "Look, I've got to do something, okay. But I'll see you tomorrow night for Burning Boat."
Haley walks over to Nathan's house. She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. He answers the door with a laidback "hey." She says, "I looked over your English exam and if you really want to learn, I can help you." This makes him smile: "That's great. Fine." But she has two conditions: one, that Lucas never finds out; two, that Nathan leaves him alone. Nathan replies, "I don't really have much of a choice, do I?" Haley tells him she'll meet him at the wharf first thing tomorrow morning. She doesn't want to take the chance that anyone might see them at school. He agrees to her terms. I can't really figure out if Nathan's really dumb -- well, that's a given if he's getting Fs -- or if he's including Haley in his evil plans to take down his brother. I guess we'll see; it's probably a combination of both, and he won't get into any college by failing English, no matter how well he plays basketball. Hey, did Nathan just seem human there for a minute?
The morning, Haley's already there and set up by the time Nathan arrives carrying coffee. She says, "You're late." He sits down with a box of Cracker Jack, which might just be the strangest form of product placement yet. He opens the prize inside while saying, "Please let this be a cheat sheet." It's not; it's a dorky bracelet that he gives to Haley. She tells him to stop it. But lets him put the bracelet on her wrist anyway. Then she explains that she's math. He's confused. She says, "It means that you can work your whole 'I'm Nathan Scott, Mr. Big Shot, scoring my touchdowns' on somebody else." He retorts, "But I don't even play football." So not the point, buddy, but I guess that's why you're there, about to be tutored. She asks him not to waste her time. Then they get down to work.
Peyton shows up at Thud. She stayed true to herself. She drew a comic that's about her -- not happy, not go-lucky. He can take it or leave it. Good for you, Peyton.
Apparently, some guy named Red died, so Whitey takes over as MC for the Burning Boat festival. He explains the idea behind the festival as Karen tosses her own cheerleading sweater on to the boat. Sherri walks by, and Karen calls out to her. She introduces Luke to the ladies. He has a flashback of hanging out with Jamie Lee Curtis, and then he leaves. Now, it's Karen's turn to take the high road, and she does. She apologizes to Sherri: "I really want to give you the benefit of the doubt so that the time we meet, I'll be dealing with the person you've become." She hopes Sherri will do the same. Whitey goes on about starting over and putting their feet on the right path. They light the boat on fire. The crowd claps. There's an overtly symbolic shot of Karen's cheerleader sweater awash in flames. Brooke sidles up to Luke and hums, "So, you my date tonight, Luke?" He looks down and says, "You know, Brooke, you don't have act like this." She knows. She wants him to do his thing and "try to resist because it's actually kind of cute." Then she leaves. Heh. Brooke can totally stay. Luke leaves to find Haley, but before he goes, he walks past Nathan. He tosses an empty spray can to him and says, "You left that at the court." Nathan drops it like it's on fire: "I don't know what you're talking about." Luke goes on to say, "Consider it a gift, you're going to need it to paint over your scoring title in the gym. 'Cause I'm taking it." Blah in your dreams blah. "I don't care what you do to me, whatever you got, you'd better bring it, because I'm not going anywhere." He hands him the pillowcase and the rope. "Why don't you burn these for me?" Nathan just stares after him. Blah E.E. Cummings, blah be yourself, blah make you everybody else, blah fight the battle blah. Luke sits down, compliments Haley's bracelet, and watches the fire.
Meanwhile, Peyton gets a message that Thud will run her strip in the issue.
Back at Burning Boat, Luke asks Haley where she was that morning. She explains that she was tutoring someone. He asks, "Anyone I know?" Haley lies and says no. And the boat burns and burns, but I don't think all the bad "mojo" is gone just yet, do you?
week: Nathan gets drunk, gets behind the wheel, and trashes Peyton's car. Yeah, he's not troubled or anything.