PANache

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Look, I'm flustered, because my oldest son, who has had his license for about a month and a half, got into an accident about a half hour before this episode aired. It wasn't his fault (in fact, three witnesses and the police citation blame the other driver), but I'm still trying not to puke out my heart, okay? While he's all mad about the car (which is probably totaled), I'm so glad about my boy (who is totally fine). My point is, thinking isn't my thing. So yeah, Regina and Emma are worried about their boy, but I have my boy and he's all good, if mad. Whatever, Show.

And yet in the distant past, Regina adopts Henry, and then is ready to give him back, because he cries, like babies do. I don't even get this. But then she keeps him. Regardless, we don't get the deep backstory we're looking for. Since we already know she can leave town, she does, and goes to Boston, and that's what it's all about. No August. Minimal Gold. Okay, so there are some Lost Boys, but only as also rans.

Now, on Neverland, things are much more tense. Regina preserves Henry's heartless body with a short-acting spell. Emma decides she (and Snow and Regina) need to act motherly to enlist the Lost Boys' help. While Felix is defiant, younger weaker Lost Boys admit Pan is in his Thinking Tree, which is when this became an episode of Blue Clues.

Regina, Emma, and Snow go off on recon. They find the Pandora's box that contains Gold, but before they can grab it, vines magic up, and grab our fair ladies. Pan appears and mocks them and their motherhood. The only place they'll be reunited with their fair boy is in death. There's back and forth in which Pan eventually admits to the ladies that he's Rumpy's father. He tries to play the women along this vein, but Regina is all, I've done a bunch of shit I should regret, and yet I regret nothing.

Once Regina asserts herself, the ladies' bonds are broken. While Emma and Snow are still dealing, Regina stretches out her hand and plucks out Henry's heart, or Pan's, or someone's. Pan falls to the ground. Regina stoops to pick up Pandora's Box. "Now, let's go save Henry." Commercial.

Aboard the Jolly Roger, Regina inserts a heart back into Henry's chest, and he wakes saying all the right things, but while it all feels right to our characters, none of it feels right to me.

Above deck, Nealfire releases Rumpy from Pandora's box, and there are fatherhood discussions, but they'll keep to the full recap.

Below deck Pan appears, and tries to magic out Henry's heart, but gets shocked for his efforts. Pan digs in with both hands and grabs the boy's shadow. Rumpy tries to magically intervene, but the eye flash is all we need. While Pan grabs at Henry's essence, Rumpy sucks someone's essence into Pandora's box. That said, I don't think he wins.

Regina rushes down below, calling for Henry, all the while. He tells her it is okay. But he's lying, because he's not him. He is Pan in Henry's form. Rumpy's lies back him up.

On deck, the crew rushes to leave Neverland. Nealfire readies his coconut not-a-map. There's fire kindling, and what not. As Neal releases Pan's shadow, Regina unleashes her magic. It grabs onto the Shadow. The Jolly Roger sets sail and flies off into the night, past Skull Rock and into the heavens.

Once the ship is sailing through the skies, Wendy and Tink have a moment. The moment though, is Henry's. But the big thing is, Henry isn't Henry. He's Peter Pan in Henry's body. And I'm so confused, I think I need to sleep.

I'll be back with the recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top, and then join us on the boards, where we are not even sure who we are.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously, on Once Upon A Time, on Skull Rock, Pan tells Rumpelstiltskin, "You traded Baelfire for the power of the dagger," and immediately tweaks my inner pedant. At first, Rumpy got the damned dagger to protect Baelfire. He was then too cowardly to jump into a portal with Baelfire. At the time, it seemed that was largely because he was afraid to live without magic. Now, however, we understand why he was afraid to enter a portal (with or without magic), as should you, Pancake. I don't want to cover the rest of these Previouslies, so I'm not. Oh shoot, now the Previouslies get interesting again, so I'll resume. Season 1 Regina asks Mr. Gold, "Your finding Henry wasn't an accident, was it?" Gold says, "Whatever do you mean?" Regina: "Where did you get him?" Via voice-over, twee Rumpy reminds us all curses can be broken. Season 1 Henry, who barely comes up to Emma's chest, hands her the secret pages he ripped from his Once Upon A Time book. While we focus on the illustration of a wounded Charming about to place baby Emma in the magical wardrobe, twee Rumpy voices-over, again: "Their child is the key." Over shots of Regina enacting the Dark Curse, he adds, "Great power requires great sacrifice." Rumpy reaches through the bars of his enchanted prison cell and holds Regina by the throat. She asks him what sacrifice will suffice. He says, "The heart of the thing you love most." Regina lays a rose at the Enchanted Forest gravestone of the father she loved so much she had to kill him. We roll our eyes at Regina and fade to black.

Oh dear. It's another Regina-centric flashback. These always leave me conflicted, because I enjoy the hell out of Regina. Gorgeous Lana Parrilla is fabulous in the role. I can't say enough about her. And yet? Every time we learn more about Regina's past, the character loses something. She becomes more pathetic, less redeemable, or grows even crazier than I thought possible -- even though I knew from day one that she ripped out her own father's heart in order to cast a curse that would tear everyone from their world(s) of origin, wipe their minds of their memories and identities, and then plop them down into a sterile, listless Groundhog Day reality. I mean do we need more crazy?

I'm a big fan of redemption. Heck, I'm a Redemptionista, and while philosophically speaking, I'd have to come down on the side of offering everyone a shot at redemption, some people are so horrific that I am unable to actively engage in their redemption sagas, even if I think, in theory, that everyone should have a chance. The more I learn about Regina's past, the harder it is for me to care about her in the now. That would be fine, if Once Upon A Time wasn't intent on making her matter in the now. Regina is not just written to be crazy, she is somewhat crazily written. Here, let me show you....

Once Upon A Time, 29 years back in the Enchanted Past, Grumpy shouts, "It's here," and sounds the warning bell, as the Smoke Monster's more colorful cousin blankets the Enchanted Forest reality with the Dark Curse.

In his enchanted prison cell, Rumpy grabs the bars and yells that he's waiting. Regina apparates into the cell in a plume of black smoke. She wants Rumpy to know she cast the Dark Curse, "...before you, like all the pathetic denizens of this wretched land, forgets (sic) everything." When Rumpy asks Regina how it felt, she assumes he's talking about watching the curse strike, which sets him to giggling. "Nooooooo. How did it feel to kill the thing you loved most? Ripping the heart out of your father -- how did that feel?" Regina says that since it was the price of the curse, how it felt does not matter. "He would have understood." Really, Reggie, because he pleaded with you not to do it, and offered you alternatives even. Then he hugged you, so you ripped out his heart.

Regina is nothing if not focused. "I took my life back. I had to. I won." Rumpy says, "And yet, here you are, feeling the need to gloat. Something's missing, isn't it dearie?" Regina denies this and says she has everything she wants, so nothing can stop her, now. Rumpy giggles, again. "Not quite. [...] the Savior -- the child of Snow White and Prince Charming. She can stop you. She can break the curse." Regina puts "getting rid of a baby" on her to-do list. Rumpy says even if she succeeds at that, she has a bigger problem. "Now there's a hole in your heart. And someday you will come to me to fill it."

Regina mocks his powers of foresight, so Rumpy tells her she underestimates the price of her actions, then sing-songs, "You shall see. You will come to me. There is more you need. Oh!" Regina knows he wants to make another deal, so she preemptively refuses. He scoffs at her suggestion. She's already guaranteed him a good life. What more could he want? Regina rattles off a list: "Oh, to be let out of this cage. To be let out of our last deal. To escape the curse." Rumpy asks, "Now why would I desire that, dearie? I'm exactly where I want to be." The Shadow flies across the title card and right through the letter O and into your living room, so I hope you all used the week off for arts and crafts, and made yourselves a coconut Shadow trap.

Now, on Neverland, we open on Skull Rock, where we left off, last week. Regina, Neal and Emma try to rouse Henry. When he won't wake, Emma draws her sword and goes at Pan, but he can poof from location to location, so it's difficult. Pan says since Rumpelstiltskin didn't have it in him to get the job done, he doubts Emma does. He then reveals that Rumpy is now in Pandora's box. "...He can't hurt me anymore, and neither can you." Emma begs to differ, and slashes at Pan's arm. He laughs off the flesh wound as a tickle and flies off. Regina promises their unconscious boy that he'll be all right. "We're going to get you home." We flash back to...

Storybrooke, 11 years ago. Regina summons Archie to her office. After assuring Archie that this has nothing to do with Pongo's dog license, they get down to business. Regina is upset over nothing -- over feeling nothing. She calls Archie on his blunt approach, and nearly calls herself the "Queen" but stops and spurts out that she's the Mayor. The whole point is a hole point -- the hole in Regina's heart. Archie understands Regina's problem, even before she can admit to having one. She is lonely, among other things. "Has there ever been a time in your life when you haven't felt this way?" Regina says, "When that little boy visited. Owen." Archie tells her a child can provide so much meaning. We cut to...

Gold's shop. Gold is idly tapping the counter when Regina enters. The blank look on his face is spectacular, if only because it reminds me that even though he doesn't know it, he is just biding his time until the curse is broken and he can search for his son. It's also great, because it drills home how empty these characters' lives were, for 28 years. Until Emma decided to stay in Storybrooke, not one of them did anything of substance. I wonder how often any of them just stood by until Regina chose to interact with them.

Regina's here and interacting in her usual way. She "needs" a child and Gold's help. He chuckles. "Well, I'm flattered, but uninterested." Ha. Regina clarifies. She's spent the morning talking to adoption agencies, and the wait-lists are all a couple of years long. Since Regina is as patient as a tired, hungry, over-heated, ear-infected two-year old, in need of a fresh diaper, she wants Gold to cut through some red tape for her. Looking her over, Gold tells Regina, "I'm sure you'll make a... mother of some sort." Since my own mother reads these recaps, I'll not fill in his heavily implied blank. Hi, Mum! Gold advises Regina to ask herself if she's ready for this. Regina says, "It's something I need." Gold says, "Well, that may not be the same thing. I'll get you a child, but whether or not that's helping you remains to be seen. When you become a parent, you must put your child first, no matter what." We cut to a...

Sidebar. There has been a lot of online chatter, about how, in this scene (and a later one also in the shop), it seems as though Gold already remembers life in the Enchanted Forest -- even though that shouldn't happen for another 10 years. Fans (rightfully) object, if that's the case, because it has been shown onscreen, more than once, and confirmed offscreen, that Gold remembers nothing until he meets Emma at Granny's boarding house and hears her name. This is my long way of saying I disagree that this (and the later shop) scene imply Gold remembers the Enchanted Past. I think what Carlyle is portraying here is the experience of having a nagging feeling. Watch the bit when he talks about how parents must put their children first. In his centuries of living, this is the one lesson Rumpelstiltskin has learned the hard way, both as a child and a parent. His memory of learning that lesson has been wiped out, sure, but the truth of it is written on his heart, more times than he wrote Emma's name on that scroll. Gold may not remember why he knows the lesson, but it's nearly all he knows. Now, let's flash forward to...

Neverland; Skull Rock. Regina casts a preservation spell on the still unconscious Henry. It will buy them some time to get to Pan. Emma asks Neal if he knows where to find Pan. Neal duhs that he knows where the compound is. Eternal Queen of the Neal haters, Regina says, "Well, that's idiotic. We all know that. You think he's stupid enough to go back? You're useless." I don't even hate Neal, but the line and Lana's delivery sing to me. You're useless, Neal. You're such a schlemiel. While I might be psychotic, I'm not idiotic. Emma with you -- is a riot. You're outshone by a pirate. Ahem. No judging. It's still a work in progress.

Emma says, "Enough." Hey, I said 'no judging,' Emma. Oh, you're speaking to Regina. Right. Regina says, "Don't tell me what's enough. My son is dying." Emma: "Our son. So yes, I know how you feel." Regina tells Emma she has no idea what she's feeling. "You have your parents. You have this..." she gestures at Douchefire, "...person, a pirate who pines for you. You have everything, and yet you claim to know what I feel? All I have is Henry, and I am not about to lose him, because he is everything." Emma crouches down to Regina. She keeps her voice soft like you do, when you're trying not to poke the hive and disturb the Queen. "You're right. I don't know what you feel, so what do you want to do? You want to run the show? Run it. How do we save Henry?" Regina whispers that she doesn't know. Neal is concerned that since Pan now has Henry's heart, he might be too powerful to hurt. It's then that Regina notices Emma's still bloody sword. "Yes we can. Look. You nicked him. If he can bleed, we can hurt him, and if we can hurt him, we can kill him. And we will." You totally should. Commercial.

Sidebar. I get that Regina loves Henry, and that Henry is all she has (of course, it's her fault that he's all she has). I get that for 10 of the last 11 years, it was she who "...changed every diaper, soothed ever fever, endured every tantrum." Normally, I'd be on the adoptive mother's side, but this is Regina, who left normal when she plucked the heart out of a gypsy girl, just to prove she could. I want to stick up for my girl Emma here, probably largely because I get tired of Regina's tears. Every time Emma has ever opened her heart, it has ended up broken. Every time. The penultimate time, it was broken by that... person. And yet, she opened her heart again, to Henry. While she has grown to love her parents, and I believe their relationship will continue to strengthen, Emma, Snow, and Charming can never be to one another what they most needed from one another. Ever. So cry all you want, Regina, but some day, you'd better wake up and realize how gracious Emma is being to you. Perhaps you can turn Neal into a toad, or something, to return the favor, Queenie, or is that redundant?

After the break, we're back on the main island of Neverland. I believe we're in Pan's camp, because Henry is lying on a bed, and the Lost Boys are present. Regina sits by her son's side, while poor Mary Margaret draws the dialogue short straw. "Gold is in a box? Then David can never leave the island." Really? Henry is near death, and that's what she's thinking about? David says, "Mary Margaret, that doesn't matter. I've already made peace with that. What matters is Henry."

Did you notice not only that I didn't rant about him calling her Mary Margaret rather than Snow, but that I also called her Mary Margaret, when I wasn't quoting? That's because this woman who is so worried about David is not my fierce Snow White. What the hell, Show. And, what the hell, Snow? I don't get what the writers are dong to her character (and to a lesser extent, Charming's). I hate that she's being written as thinking she must stay on the island with David. Look, they're a true love match, I get that. But love is, sometimes, sacrifice. The Snow and Charming I love would have, in my head, talked about their predicament and decided together that if they couldn't find a cure for Charming that will work off of Neverland, that David would remain behind alone, and Snow would return with Emma and Henry. Back in Storybrooke, she would figure out a way to permanently heal him of the poisoning and retrieve him from Neverland. Emma would have refused the offer, but they would have stood fast. In fact Snow would have said, "No. We let you go 29 years ago. We're not making that mistake again. David and I will find each other. We will always find each other." Oh shoot, the whole scene has passed, while I rewind, let's start a new paragraph.

Regina tells the team that there's probably only about an hour before the preservation spell wears off. Since Pan could be anywhere on the island, Regina storms over to Felix, grabs his cloak and demands to know where Pan is. Felix says he's gone and there's nothing they can do about it. "Pan never fails."

Regina raises her hand as if to rip out his heart. Emma grabs Regina's arm, pulls her aside, and suggests a different path, since all these kids have been "...to hell and back." Regina notes they don't respond to cute and cuddly approaches or reason. "What else do you have to offer?" Emma looks over Regina's shoulder. A few feet behind her stands Mary Margaret. Emma's face lights up. "What every kid wants. A mother." Even though I'm still mad at this Mary Margaret impostor, this is beautiful work by Ginnifer Goodwin and Jennifer Morrison. Well played, ladies. We flash back to...

Storybrooke, 11 years ago. Regina beams as she enters Gold's shop. She's anxious to hear his promised good news. An agency he contacted placed a baby from Phoenix in nearby Boston, but the adoption fell through. He gives her the agency's address, and we travel to Boston, via a portal of some shitty stock footage of my prettier (than that) city.

Inside the agency, we meet the nameless adoption coordinator, so let's call him AC. AC is played by Julian D. Christopher. It doesn't look like Mr. Christopher was featured on Hey! It's That Guy!, but given his resumé he should have been. Seriously, check out his IMDB page. The man has been in everything.

AC praises Regina's application, impeccable references, and asks her about the town and her mayorship. She cracks that it's like a fairy tale, but I'm sorry. I can't pay attention to it because everything is wrong here. Full disclosure: I didn't get what I wanted out of this adoption backstory (some weird hijinks involving either August or the Darling Hipster Doofi getting Henry to Storybrooke), but whatever. It's not my show, so I can let that go.

What I can't let go is how affable and respectable AC is. His office is too clean and well appointed, and he seems far too on the up-and-up for me to buy any of this. If Gold is the one who found this agency that is ready to give a baby to Regina without a home visit, when she hasn't been on a waiting list, then -- well... Ack! She shouldn't even be going through an agency. Gold should have dug up some shady lawyer who deals in the sort of private adoption that can be more akin to baby brokerage. I mean, shit, there's not even a home visit. Last year, I adopted a stray dog in Massachusetts, and encountered more red tape than Regina is getting for a live, human infant. If this were all somehow happening at some curse created Storybrooke Adoption Agency, I could see that, but she's in Boston. She's in a land without (native, at least) magic. There is no way this should be so respectable. No way. I will waste no more time on it than necessary. AC's point is that the adoption is totally closed, so Regina will have access to no information on his biological heritage.

The deal is struck. A woman brings in an adorable baby who proves the casting director doesn't just dabble in the Dark Arts; she's mastered them. Like, I want to get on Twitter and ask Jared Gilmore if they used his baby brother or something. This baby is cute, man. Majorly cute. He's so cute I've forgotten my ire over the fact that this adoption isn't as sleazy as I want it to be. When Regina calls him Henry, AC cracks that that's a bit of an old world name. AC, you don't know the half of it. Regina says it's her late father's name. AC apologizes and says he hopes her dad's passing was peaceful. Again, AC, you can't even. Henry starts crying, probably because he feels the evil psychosis oozing out of his new mother's every pore. Regina says, "C'mon, Henry. Let's go home." We flash forward to...

Neverland. While Neal keeps watch over Henry, Emma lays the soft sell on the Lost Boys. She promises they won't hurt them. She understands their loyalty to Pan, but says she thinks it's a mistake. She tells them of her own past as a Lost Girl. "And I was reminded today that I am not alone." See what I mean about how gracious she's being to you, Regina? I'm sorry I interrupted you, Emma. Keep going. "...That I have a lot of people who love me, and I never thought that was going to happen. If that can happen to me, it can happen to you." Fairy tales can come true. It can happen to you, if you're young at heart, and face it, you're on Neverland, so you probably are.

The camera pans to Felix, but I can't take my eyes off Hook, who is in the background. He does that thing guys do when they will themselves not to cry. His face all but crumples, then he stops it cold, gulps and musters all his might to focus on the back of Felix's cape, or anything other than Emma's lovely face.

Oh. Right. Some of you want to know what the scene is about other than Hook. I wonder how strict my contract with with Tubey is. Maybe there's some site where I could just recap the Hook bits, for fun, profit, and leering. Felix decides I need the verbal equivalent of a cold shower, so he tells Emma, "Pan is the only family we need."

Emma says family doesn't do what Pan did. She points out Henry's current dire straits. A Lost Boy (who still looks like an actual boy, rather than a Lost Young Adult) says Pan only accepted Henry's heart to save the island. Emma corrects him. "No, to save himself." I wish Wendy Darling or Tink would chime in here. I'd expect them to have some cred with the Lost Boys.

Felix tells the boys not to listen to Emma. "Pan cares about all of us." Emma says Pan doesn't care. She and her crew do. "And we can save you. We can take you home with us to our land. There's no reason to fear Pan anymore. Until he absorbs the power from Henry's heart, he can be stopped. You just have to tell us where he is."

Felix rises to his feet. "Leave now while Pan still allows you to breathe." Hook lays his hook on Felix's shoulder and pushes him back down. I fan myself. Emma ignores him and focuses on the younger kids. "Where is Pan?" Felix answers, "Not. Telling." What is he, a TWoP recapper? Finally the littlest one pipes up and asks Emma if she can really bring them home. When she assures him she can, the littlest admits Pan is in his Thinking Tree. Felix throws a tantrum that reminds us his folks probably only lost him, the way you lose a bad habit. A medium boy gives a little more information. When Emma asks for the location, the littlest says he'll tell her, provided she swears she'll take them with her. Emma says, "I promise." She tears up a little, then adds, "We are going home. All of us." Jennifer Morrison just shines in this episode, at least when she's not shunted aside in favor of more Regina tears. Commercial.

We return to Storybrooke's past. Regina has a squalling Henry at Granny's Diner. When Granny shows polite interest, Regina mistakes her curiosity about the baby for hostility, because that's the only color in Regina's world (it looks a lot like bile green). Granny suggest Regina tell the baby a story. "That's how they soothe themselves. A bedtime story. It gets them used to your voice. It worked with Ruby." Regina's look is all like I want my son to grow up to wear micro-minis and bend over in front of all the customers. It's funny, but it's also ridiculous, since Regina, not Granny, is the one who made cursed-Ruby as she then was. Our real, true Ruby (God, I miss her) is awesome.

Granny still labors under the curse, so she appreciates the meaning of Regina's side-eye, and says, "Her... issues started later," then walks off. Alone again with her bawling babe, Regina assures baby Henry that it's okay. She picks him up and says, "Once upon a time, there was..." Before she can finish the though, Henry spits up all over her top. Well played, wee Henry. Well played. Also, Regina? Have you tried burping the kid? We cut to the...

Storybrooke Hospital. Whale (with a spiffy short haircut) reports the baby's heart and lungs (obviously) are fine. Regina wants to run more tests and even suggests a chest X-ray. Whale's smile is wry. "Is he a smoker?" Hee. No, but I bet wee Regina was. I'd watch the hell out of that flashback, by the way. Whale says the only problem is that Henry is a crying baby. When Regina is all, "I paid for this?" Whale responds, "Actually, your insurance did." He recommends 10 CC's of Maternal Love. I recommend these two goobers stop leaving a free range baby unsupervised on an exam table. What the hell?

Regina, the magic addict, wants a quicker fix. Whale says there's no sense putting this baby through a bunch of tests. There's a remote chance he could have genetic ailments, but since Henry's adoption was a closed one, there's no way to contact the bio parents. Don't worry. The baby is going to squirm his way off that table in two seconds and die from massive head trauma, or perhaps a snapped neck.

After a quick time cut, Regina is still in the hospital, holding an ever-screaming Henry. She's trying to talk to Sidney on the phone, when Mary Margaret wanders by. Regina enlists her help, so she can continue her phone call. As soon as Mary Margaret takes the baby in her loving arms, his crying ceases. There's nothing like a Nana. Right now, I've got to go to another...

Sidebar. When my oldest son (the one who was in the car accident, if you read the recaplet, and I'm sorry about that recaplet -- neither my mind nor my heart was in it) was an infant, he had this fever that wasn't responding to treatment. The thing is, it was more of a "fever" than a fever. That is, his temperature was elevated, thanks to a virus, but it wasn't worrisomely high, except to Scott and me, because we were newbie parents. Unsatisfied with the doctor's response during our visit, we called him back. Eventually, he faxed us what might have been titled, "Fever FAQ for N00Bs." Our dignities died a quiet death, and we learned how not to freak. I refrained from mentioning that during Dr. Whale's scene, but once Snow took that baby and he stopped crying, I could no longer stay quiet. Here's why: on our first night home from the hospital after our oldest son was born, he was up and crying the entire night. Nothing we did calmed him down. The day, Scott and I were burnt. My mother, being a saint, offered to come over, sleep on the couch, and tend to the baby during the night. Having no pride, we readily agreed. That second night, as we flopped on our bed, we pitied my poor mother, who was going to have to be up all night with the screaming banshee who'd been switched for our perfect newborn. The thing is, he slept like a... baby, woke to feed, and went right back down after. If you're an expectant parent, and can get $1.40 for your dignity before your child's birth, take it, because it will be worthless, ever after.

Anyhow, Regina asks Sidney to use any means available to track down Henry's bio-mom. Sidney is all, "Isn't that against the law?" because he hasn't yet taken the role of a turn-coat revolutionary. Regina says, "That's why I called you..." Her dumbass is implied. She starts to tell him the baby won't stop crying, but then she realizes that in her nemesis's arms, baby Henry has done just that. Regina terminates the call and heads over to her step-daughter and adopted son. The situation has gotten so stressful that Regina loses her ability to blame Snow for everything, including the weather. When she takes the baby back, he resumes crying. Snow apologizes and asks if she did something wrong. Regina says, "No, you didn't. It's me." Has she ever shown such self-awareness? Will she ever again? We flash forward to...

Neverland. It's Wendy's turn to soothe Henry's fevered, if unconscious, brow. Neal watches them for a moment, then wanders off to where the adults are, which is good, because Neal can be skeevy enough. We don't need him perving over an adolescent in her pretty, white nightgown. By then, the team has learned from the littlest lost boy that the Thinking Tree is in the Pixie Woods. Emma asks Hook if he knows where that is. Hook says, "Aye. The whole region is deserted now. No one but Pan has set foot in those woods, in centuries." Okay, that wasn't a quotable, but I like it when Hook says Aye. Neal says, "Then let's make history." Pipe down, pipsqueak. Emma agrees with me. She says they're going to need Neal on where he is, to get out of the way of unexpected smoochies, or possibly just because they need "...help on both ends." So Neal is bringing up the rear. That's fitting. Poor Neal, I've abused him a lot, in this recap, when I don't even hate him. I just need him to get some comeuppance for his part in Emma's imprisonment.

Charming asks what's needed. Neal says they should gather up the Lost Boys and get them aboard Hook's ship. The littlest and middlest share a smile. Hook says, "Let's hope you have a Pegasus sail, otherwise, we're at the mercy of the trade winds." So wait. Is that like a thing? Could the wind whisk them away from Neverland, provided it was in the mood? There is no time for answers, because this is OUAT. Neal slings a sack over his shoulder. "Pan's shadow is in here. It'll get us home." He takes a beat, calculates, then adds, "As long as your ship will hold together." Oh, snap. Hook: "Well, as long as your plan holds together, she will." Bad form, gentlemen.

Emma doesn't toss the boys a ruler and tell them to make the contest official. I think that's because she's never had people who loved her before -- never mind people willing to compete for her love. She's wide-eyed as she watches this case of testosterone poisoning manifest in her boyfriends. Wisely, she ignores it and looks from Hook to Neal, who tells her, "Henry is going to be with me the entire time. Nothing is going to happen to him, while you two are away." Unless August shows up and scares you with the type-written word, Failfire.

Snow momentarily throws off the death shroud that is Mary Margaret and adds, "You mean three." Then the cloying cloak of Mary Margaret descends upon her once again. "I may be trapped on this island for the rest of eternity, so if you think I'm not going to be spending my last moments with my daughter, you're crazy." Since most of Emma's life has been spent scavenging from love's scrap heap, she agrees. "Okay. Let's do it." Commercial.

Sidebar. Mary Margaret. Ugh.

We return to the Storybrooke of 11 years ago. Regina is at home at the Mayoral Manse. Henry is still sobbing. Regina tells him she'll do anything for him, scoops him out of his seat and begs him to give her a chance. When he stops crying, she thanks him. Their momentary quiet is interrupted by a phone call from Sidney. Miraculously (and you new moms will feel me, here) the phone doesn't set the baby off again. It's Sidney. He's faxing her all the info he has on Henry's birth mother. Regina's fax is already churning out the pages. Regina grabs them, reads, then says, "No." We cut to...

Gold's Shop. Regina barges in. "You knew. [...] The child that you located for me in Phoenix. His mother was found in the woods outside Storybrooke, 18 years ago." Gold declares this a "startling coincidence." Regina raves. And while I addressed this earlier, during Gold and Regina's first shop scene, I think it's this scene that proves my point. Gold does not yet remember his Enchanted Past. And it's lack of memory that makes the scene all that more amusing, because if/since he doesn't remember, to him, Regina is nothing more than the raving lunatic that... Regina actually is.

Everything she says hints at the idea of the curse, her predicament, Gold's forgotten knowledge, and the entire backstory, but she can't make herself spell it out, and Gold has no frigging clue what she means. He's just trying to disengage this woman who is clearly over the edge. "You told me I'd come to you -- that I'd have a hole in my heart. And... You want this to end. This town. What I built. You want to destroy it all by bringing the mother back. That's why you did all this." Gold deflects by mentioning she has dark circles under her eyes, "...and a weary tremble in your voice. Poor thing. Look what motherhood has done to you." It happens to the best of us.

Regina can't compose herself. "Play dumb all you want, you little imp. You should know who you're dealing with, by now. I sacrificed everything to build this life, and nothing will tear me away from my revenge." She retrieves the baby seat from the floor and flies for the door. "Henry goes back to Boston. Tomorrow!" We flash forward to...

Neverland. No one -- not Hook, not Neal, not one of the more predisposed Lost Boys leads Emma, Regina, and Mary Margaret to the Thinking Tree. No, I don't get it either. I know from watching cast panels that they routinely shoot around an hour of footage for each episode, but (because of commercial time) only about 42 minutes air. That's okay, but those 42 minutes that air should make sense. Emma has had a magical map leading to Pan's compound for weeks, but she couldn't find it without Tink's help. Yet here we are, and we're supposed to accept that Team Mommy found Pan's Thinking Tree in a jungle-forest island overrun with trees. Right. Screw you too, Show.

Regina stops the others when she spies Pandora's box. Emma unsheathes her sword. Snow isn't Snow, but rather Mary Margaret, so she goes right for it, even after Regina warns, "Careful. Pan wouldn't have just left it behind for no reason." Nope. Mary Margaret Blanchard whines, "It's David's only way home. Without Gold, we're stuck here." As she takes another step, a vine magics out from the base of the tree, wraps around her and ties her to the trunk. I'd be all for that, except then the magical vines also ensnare Emma and Regina.

Pan appears and reminds them "Peter Pan never fails." He praises the tenaciousness of maternal instinct. I feel condescended to, because I never met this smug teenager. Then he lies that he understands the tenacious parent. I mean, he is detachment, personified. Pan tells the ladies they'll only ever be reunited with Henry in death. Via flashback, we Trot Trot to...

Boston, 11 years ago. Regina brings Henry back to AC's office with her instructions on nap time, etc. After AC assures her the baby will be in expert hands (which she shouldn't believe, since AC placed Henry with her in the first place), Regina apologizes that it didn't work out. "The circumstances were... unforeseen." Like he's talking about an off-the-rack garment, AC opines, "Not every child is the right fit for a parent." I mean what is that? Would you like to see something in an eight pound female, Madame Mayor? AC promises he already has a new family lined up for Henry. Henry coos. What passes for Regina's heart starts to melt. AC leaves to let her take a moment.

Alone with Henry, Regina tells the babe he deserves better than she. "You truly are the only one in all the realms who believes in me." Well, he's just a dumb baby, Regina. When she scoops him up from his infant carrier, it nearly sounds like he coos, "Ah Mama." Regina is smitten. By the time AC returns with the last bit of paperwork, she has changed her mind. "Henry is my son. The best thing for Henry is to stay with a mother who will never let go of him -- ever again."

Once Regina and Henry are gone, AC retreats to the corridor, where he tells shadowy figures that they'll have to go back on the waiting list. "The mother changed her mind." A male, British voice asks, "We lost him?" We get a full view of the disappointed prospective parents. It is John and Michael Darling Hipster Doofi. AC promises to put them back on the list, but the Doofi are already halfway to the elevator. And we're all the way to a ...

Sidebar. There has been a lot of silly conversation about this on our boards. I'm going to pick on you here, dear TWoP members, but am doing so with love (seriously, I think the OUAT forum is one of the best on our whole site). First I'm picking on those of you who are saying John and Michael are teens. I know they look young, but they're adults played by adults. Why are you trying to make this more complicated than it already is? The second group of you sillies assumes brothers John and Michael must be masquerading as a gay couple, in order to adopt Henry. A subset of you sillies wonder if gay couples could adopt (in Massachusetts) back in 2002. Sure, gay couples could adopt here, back then, but that is decidedly beside the point. Sit down in your thinking chair tree, for a moment. If/since a single woman (i.e. Regina) could adopt (and she could) in 2002, that would mean a single man could adopt, in 2002. That means that two BROTHERS did not have to pretend to be lovers, in order to adopt Henry. While Massachusetts is a liberal state, it's not like being gay helped people adopt,11 years ago (or today). Let's employ Ockham's razor and simple up our assumptions. Unless we learn otherwise, isn't it easier to figure that one brother intends to adopt and the other is there for support? Fandom, it's time for you all to unfollow all those Wincest accounts on Tumblr. That dreck is rotting your brains. We flash forward to...

Neverland. Pan still has our three best ladies (okay, one best, one doppelgänger, and one maniac) tied to his Thinking Tree. He vagues about how their regret will do them in, at this tree which is the site of his regret. "I abandoned my boy, here." Regina hasn't been reading the recaps, so she is shocked. "You have a son?" Pan explains that Rumpy is his son, but he's wrapped up tight in Pandora's box, now. Mary Margaret (she's still not Snow) can't understand how Rumpy's father can be younger than he. Pan bitch slaps her with a reminder of how she and her own daughter appear to be the same age. I'd object, were he treating my fair princess like this, but this weaker clone totally deserves it. Meanwhile, poor Emma just soaks in her own regret over surrendering Henry for adoption.

Let's give the devil her due. Regina is the only one to call out Pan for being a fraud. "Your magic's weakened. You can't even hurt us, let alone Rumpelstiltskin." Pan admits she's right, but says his Thinking or Regret or whatever Tree will protect him until he's ready for big, child-free, childish fun.

When the ladies struggle to free themselves, Pan says the tree exploits its prisoners' regret, then he hones in on Emma, who snaps, "I regret not taking a better shot at you when I had the chance." He taunts the Savior about how her son's heart now beats within his breast. "I can feel just how much you let him down time and time again." Snow tries to emerge and says, "Leave her alone," so Pan turns the tables on the once Fairest and points out that she abandoned Emma, long before Emma abandoned Henry. Ouch.

Bless Regina. She may hate her step-daughter and step-granddaughter/son's bio mom, but they're her victims to abuse, not Pan's. Disdain drips from her lips. "Are you finished?" Pan turns his attention to her. "Last words from the queen. Perhaps a deathbed confession from the one who has the most to regret of all." Regina says there's one problem with that. "I did cast a curse that devastated an entire population. I have tortured and murdered. I've done some terrible things. I should be overflowing with regret, but... I'm NOT." At that, Regina magics free of the vines that bind her and Team Princess. Pan is taken aback. Regina finishes: "Because it got me my son." She then forces her fist into Pan's chest and retrieves Henry's heart. The demon stumbles and falls. For good measure, Queenie scoops up Pandora's box, and turns to her companions. "Now, let's go save Henry." Wait, Regina. Kill Pan. What's one more death on your books. Hell, aren't you even going to bind him with some magical squid ink? Argh! Commercial.

After the break, we rejoin our heroines, this time on the Jolly Roger. Regina has already forced Henry's heart back into his chest. It takes him long enough to revive, that Emma wonders if they're too late. No, honey. There's still too much time left in the episode. If you save Henry now, it's just a fake-out.

Regina calls out, "Henry," and then, "Honey!" The boy wakes with a gasp. He hugs his moms. Neal catches a glimpse of Henry's panicked expression and tells him, "Take it easy, buddy." Henry babbles an apology revolving around his desire to save magic. Today, child, everything is forgiven. Today. By the way, this is the last moment in the episode in which Emma acts like a mother, even an inexperienced, regret and guilt-laden one.

Henry cries that he wanted to be a hero. His maternal, and oh so regret and guilt-laden grandparents assure him there is plenty of time in the future for that. Hook charms, "Welcome back, young sir. Only the best for our guest of honor, don't you think? Captain's quarters." Aye aye. Oh wait. Never mind. Regina will lead the child to his bed, with a promise to tuck him in. We flash back to...

Storybrooke, 11 years ago. A happy baby Henry wriggles in his bassinet, while Archie visits with Regina. Archie is so pleased at her progress. Regina, never one to duck an ego massage, takes it all in. She can't leave it there though. She admits she's dreading the day when Henry's birth mother finds him. Archie reminds her the adoption was a closed one. Regina says, "Yes, but I'm worried something bigger than the law is at play. Fate. Destiny." When Archie suggests she's made her own destiny, Regina says there's still someone out there who can destroy it. Archie explains how worrying about the future detracts from enjoying the present. As a person with an anxiety disorder, whose proclivity to contingency-think is at the root of it all, I have to back up Archie. He tells our Evil Queen to revel in the love she's feeling -- revel at being a mother. Regina gazes down at her bouncing baby boy, as she takes to heart this wise counsel. We cut to the...

Cemetery. Mills' family crypt. Inside, Regina lays a hand on her father's nameplate and thanks him. I think I hear his ghost yell, "You're not welcome!" Regina ignores that and lays Henry in his baby seat, but doesn't buckle him in, because she likes it when I panic. She opens the door to her hidden chamber, and there's a quick time cut.

Whatever magical relics Regina brought with her from L'enchantment are benign enough that they've now buckled Henry in. Thank you, relics. I can breathe again. Regina turns to Henry. Her voice is soft and sweet. "Once upon a time there was a Queen, and she cast a glorious curse that gave her everything she wanted, or so she thought. She despaired when she learned that revenge was not enough. She was lonely, and so she searched the land for a little boy to be her prince, and then, she found him. And though they lived happily, it was not ever after."

Regina turns from wee Henry to her potion station (what would you call it). She pours her ingredients into a chalice. "There was still an evil out there lurking. The Queen was worried for her prince's safety. While she knew she could vanquish any threat to the boy, she also knew she couldn't raise him worrying." Regina, Whale could write you a prescription for Ativan. She ignores me and continues: "No, she needed to put her own trouble aside, and put her child first." Regina adds the additional ingredients to the potion -- which starts to smoke. "And so the Queen procured an ancient potion of forgetting." When Henry fusses, she turns to him and says, "Oh, it’s all right. If the Queen drinks the potion she won’t forget her child. She’ll only forget her worries, her troubles, her fears." Regina adds the final, dark ingredient. More smoke rises from the chalice. "And with those gone, she and her prince can, indeed, finally live happily ever after." Look at Baby Henry, even he is shaking his head.

Regina raises the cup in Henry's general direction, then drinks deep. After she sets down the chalice, it and all the magical ingredients magically disappear from this world which should be without magic. Regina gasps. Tears stream down her cheeks. Wiping them, she turns to crying baby Henry, greets him, and picks him up. "What shall we do, today?" The smart money says both of you will spend a good amount of time crying.

I can't decide if this whole plot was silly. I mean Regina created the problem she was worried about, by making Sidney dig into Henry's origins. She fixes the problem by making herself forget. I guess that's typical Regina. Really, what's atypical is that for once, she uses her evil powers on herself. Do you think that by forgetting her worries, troubles and fears, she somehow magicked away her ability to regret any evil she did prior to taking the potion? Is that why Pan's regret tree couldn't hold her? I can't decide. We flash forward to...

Neverland's Waters. Below the Jolly Roger's deck, Henry lies on Hook's bunk. Regina sits at his side. She teases him that his look reflects, "Five hours of Space Paranoids and too much pizza." Henry allows that pizza is good. Being a polite boy, he doesn't call her out on how Space Paranoids isn't really a thing. (It's totally not.) Regina can't leave a tender moment alone, so she raises her hand above Henry's heart and magics up some spell. Henry says it stings and asks what she's done. Regina says, "A spell, so no one can ever take your heart, ever again." So good luck getting married, Henry. Henry is only 11, so he's down with that. He takes Regina's hand and says, "Thanks, Mom." Regina smiles down at her boy and kisses him on the forehead. "We'll be home soon, my little prince." She rises then and leaves him. She leaves him even though there is no one else there to guard Henry -- the MacGuffin she and we have spent the season chasing. Are you shitting me, Show?

Finally alone, Henry sits up, adjusts his covers, and lies back down. It's then that Pan appears. And hey, Team Operation Rescue Cobra totally has this coming, but why must Henry again be the target? I feel sorry for him and for Jared Gilmore. Any character in need of saving for 9, 10, 11 episodes is going to wear on the audience. Ah well, I can't save you, child, from your family's stupidity. Just know it's not your fault. Henry turns, swallows, and gaps at Pan, whose sword is now drawn. Pan says, "I'm sorry it had to come to this, Henry." Come to what? Come to you ripping out his heart, instead of him ripping it out for you? Are you afraid of ruining your manicure? Commercial.

Aboard the Jolly Roger, Neal manipulates Pandora's box. Red smoke flows out from it. Rumpelstiltskin appears. He looks at his boy and whispers, "Bae." Neal smiles. "Papa." The men embrace. Rumpy's first thought is to ask after Henry. Neal assures him the boy is safe. Rumpy is sure to state he promised he wouldn't hurt Henry. Neal wants to know why Rumpy didn't reveal Pan is his father. Rumpy says, "I didn't want you to know I was as bad a father as he was -- because we're both the same -- me and him -- because we both abandoned our sons." Neal says they're not the same, since Rumpy came back for him. Emma is choked up, when she turns to her parents and unnecessarily announces that Rumpy is back, which means David can be cured. The Charmings can return home. Mary Margaret proclaims them, "A family." The trio embraces. I'm a sucker for the Charmings, even if I'm still not ready to call the mother "Snow." We cut to Rumpy and Neal. Rumpy jumps. Neal asks what's wrong. We cut to...

Hook's quarters. Henry wants to know what Pan is doing. Pan blahs about wanting the boy's heart, but his (Henry's) mom took it away from him. When Pan tries to mojo Henry's heart out of his chest, he is shocked by Regina's protection spell. "Oh, how clever." , the bastard thrusts his hands into Henry's body and starts to pull out the boy's shadow.

Although Henry is wracked with pain, he struggles as best he can. Before Pan can complete his task, Rumpy appears and says, "Blood magic works both ways, father." Yeah, it does. Rumpy lays the mystical Pandora's box smack-down upon Pan, who starts to turn to a scarlet mist. Pan's eyes flash. We cut to Henry, whose eyes also flash. We cut to Pan who looks like he's trying to figure out who he is. His eyes flash again. Oh no, Henry is in Pan's body and Pan is in Henry's. Henry-in-Pan cries out, No!" Rumpy's magic sucks him into Pandora's box. Originally, I made a Se7en joke here, but it felt too contrived, much like this whole idea of leaving Henry unguarded -- much like Rumpy being the only one to rush to Hook's quarters, even though Neal too realized Rumpy sensed something was wrong. Blah.

Finally, Regina arrives below deck, calling for her son. Pan-in-Henry (I'm not big on portmanteaux, but let's call him Panry, because the hyphens are already getting on my nerves) swears, "It's okay. I'm okay." Regina wonders if he's sure. Given how magical she is (not to mention Rumpy) I'm surprised she can't sense this isn't Henry. Hell, when Faith switched bodies with Buffy, teen witch Tara Maclay knew something was wrong, and she hadn't yet met the real Buffy.

Rumpy (whose ability to sense his father's presence is what brought him below deck in the first place) also seemingly can't sense that he's put his own grandson in Pandora's box, and is looking at his father, who now wears said grandson's meatsuit. He only says, "He's a strong boy, Regina. You raised him well." Regina's face melts at that. I guess on this show, I should say her "expression" melts, because literal face melting (perpetrated by either Rumpy or Regina) could one day occur in a flashback.

Let's ding the writers for not writing the sort of real conversation people have when something weird happens. I know time is an issue, but I don't care. The flashbacks were overly long. At some point in this scene, Regina should have asked what happened. Since we just saw what happened, and we know Rumpy didn't see Pan and Henry's eyes flash, we don't have to stick around for the answer, but characters need to act like real people. A real mother would want to know what happened. I think Regina is batshit insane, but she's clearly devoted to Henry; Regina is a real mother (fill in the blank, if it pleases you).

On deck, Neal holds his coconut contraption at the mouth of a cannon. Emma readies her lighter and looks to Regina. When Emma asks, Regina confirms she's ready. Once Regina nods, Emma lights the fuse. Mary Margaret protects the Lost Boys from getting too close to the action. The fuse burns until it ignites the [whatever]. When the explosion occurs, Neal releases the coconut NOT-A-STAR-MAP thingum. The explosion propels it forward and the Shadow shoots forth. Regina uses her powers to direct the Shadow to the Jolly Roger's sail. Hook can't believe his eyes. When the Shadow is in place, Regina magically appliqués it to the sail.

As the shadow's essence spreads, the entire sail turns black. Emma asks, "Do you think it will fly?" Regina says it has no choice. Emma says, "Then let's get the hell out of Neverland." Hook says, "As you wish, Milady." Columbo says, "That day, your recapper was amazed to discover that when he was saying 'As you wish,' what he meant was I love you." Hook orders his bosun to weigh anchor, even though he hasn't had a bosun for an age or ten. I guess it's up to you, Charming. It's not like you're busy checking on your grandson, or anything. Sigh.

The Jolly Roger takes flight. Charming turns to Emma. "You know when we first landed on this island, you said we'd all need to work together. [...] To be honest, I didn't think it was possible. A hero, villain, pirate -- that we could all be united, but we were, because of the most important piece of the puzzle. A leader." The fandom eagerly gobbles up these mere crumbs of a daddy-daughter moment. Emma is just glad they could work together to get Henry and the rest of the gang home. Mary Margaret turns from the Lost Boys (who aren't Henry) she's been feeding, and smiles at her husband and daughter. I feel a little warm, until I remember my fit of pique. We cut to...

Wendy. Our nightgowned girl looks out at the sea beneath. Tink approaches and says, "It's better than being in a cage, isn't it? [...] Soon, you'll see your brothers." Wendy admits she's been saving something for Tink. Tink takes the vial and recognizes its contents as Pixie Dust. Wendy explains it is inert. Tink says that since she lost her wings, she hasn't the magic to make it work. Wendy is sure the erstwhile fairy will figure it out. Grabbing Tink's shoulder she says, "I believe in you, Tink." Tink blinks. I wonder if the Pixie Dust will figure into Charming's cure.

Panry comes up on deck. Dadfire is the first to spot him and wonders if the lad shouldn't stay below deck. Panry says something about the fresh air being good for him. Neal schmoops about how Henry now has a dad -- forever. When Neal promises he'll never leave his little buddy, Panry nods and hugs Neal right back.

Tink approaches Regina and tells her she's glad she got back her son. "It seems the Evil Queen was able to love someone, after all." Yeah it is. Regina agrees and adds, "It seems you were right." Tink says she knew Reggie still had some good in her. Regina adds, "Apparently, you still have some magic in you." Tink looks down at the vial Wendy gave her. It briefly sparkles with green magic before fading out. Regina says, "Well, if I had to guess, I'd say for a moment there, you believed." Tink flashes a sweet smile at our Evil Queen while we cut to Felix. Before we go there, though, I have to say I am loving Rose McIver's Tinker Bell. I didn't at first. Well, I thought McIver did a fine job, but I'd expected Tink to be teenaged too. Now I find myself hoping Tink makes Regina her project, and that Regina will learn how to have a be a friend.

Panry grabs a plate of grub and brings it to Felix. Yes, these people had time to cook, but didn't have time to assign one frigging person who cares about him to guard Henry. Anyhow, when the Lost Boy is unreceptive, Panry says, "But I came to thank you." Felix says no matter what the other traitors do, "I'm on Pan's side. And Pan..." Panry finishes his thought: "...never fails."

Felix is confused so Panry says, "You heard me. Peter Pan never fails. He can't be stopped. Even when they think he's defeated -- whey they think they've won, he finds a way." Felix says, "So you think you're not safe?" Panry scoffs. "Oh no, I'm perfectly safe. During our struggle, my fate was sealed. The one who's in trouble is Henry." Felix is slow on the uptake. "But you're Henry." Panry's voice is low as he admits, "Not anymore." Felix: "You! You switched." Henry agains offers forth the plate of food. "Are you sure you're not hungry?" Grinning, Felix grabs it. "Thank you, Pan." Panry glances around, then says, "Now, let's play." Fade to black.

Closing thoughts: I can't help but wonder about the loose thread that is Rumpy's shadow and the Dark One's Kris dagger. I don't think the writers have forgotten it. I just wonder what their reason is for letting it dangle. It's not bothering me, I'm just curious, so good show, Show. On the other hand, I also keep wondering about the Lost Boy whose heart Regina ripped out. Did she ever return it? Will we ever know? Will we ever even see him again?

I'm incredibly frustrated that Emma never went to Henry after the initial hug. There was no time to revel in the team's fleeting victory. It's so unsatisfying. I can believe she gave Regina time alone with the boy, but I can't believe she completely stayed away. Similarly, I just can't buy that Snow, Charming, Neal, Regina, and Emma -- all of them -- left Henry unguarded, before leaving Neverland. I understand Henry had to be alone and vulnerable at some point for the switch to occur, but I wish they'd found a way to do so in which character was not sacrificed on the altar of plot -- perhaps Pan could have snuck in while Regina was sealing the Shadow to the sail. Rumpy still could have caught Pan in the act and sucked the wrong person into the box without anyone knowing.

Much of the internet wants to see Robbie Kay replace Jared Gilmore as Henry, on a permanent basis. No thank you. Kay is a wonder as Pan, but he's not the Henry I care about and I will be furious (like, I'd want to quit covering the show, but I have a kid going to college fall, so I'd just stick around and be bitter, which is a boon for some recappers, but is not my preferred approach, especially on a show like this).

Jared Gilmore is not a bad actor. Henry's characterization (I'm speaking about how he's written) is still a work in progress because of the character's age. Please stop comparing a 13-year-old who plays an original, 11-year-old character to an 18-year-old who plays an ageless, iconic one. That's not even an apples to oranges comparison; you're judging apples against meat. Bad form!

I am so glad to be gone from Neverland, I'm ready to throw a party at Granny's. Cheeseburgers and Iced Tea on me! Quite a few of our members would like to see flashbacks to Bae and Hook's time on Neverland. I understand what they mean, but right now, I'm so happy to have found a way off that godforsaken rock, I don't care if we never go back. Besides, if we're to fully accept Michael Raymond-James in the Neal/Baelfire role, I think the show is wiser to use Dylan Schmid's Baelfire as sparingly as possible. As the young man matures, it is getting ever more difficult to accept that he grows up and into MR-J's Nealfire.

I'll be back with coverage of "The New Neverland." Dear Lord, can't it just be, "The Old Storybrooke?" In the meantime, please grade the episode up top, and then join us on the boards, where we are not even sure who we are.