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Enchanted Past. Baelfire (Neal) uses the magic bean Blue gave him, to transport himself and Papastiltskin to a land without magic. Papa chickens out. Bae ends up in Victorian (or newly post-Victorian) London, so the bean moved him through both time and space, as Blue suggested it would. After six months, Bae sneaks into the Darlings' home, to steal food. Wendy Darling (Freya Tingley) catches him in the act, but then ensconces him in the nursery's crawl space, and feeds him.
Eventually, the Darling parents figure out the scheme and decide Bae can live with them. They put him in the nursery. They put him in the nursery which contains not only their two little boys, but also his age equivalent, Wendy. (Is it just me, or is this Baelfire the young woman's Ralph Macchio?) My eyes roll so far across the floor I have to enlist the dog to help me find them.
Peter Pan's shadow has been visiting the nursery. One night, it convinces Wendy Darling to fly off to Neverland with it, despite Bae's warnings that all magic comes with a price. The morning, Wendy returns with Neverland tales of woe. Bae helps Wendy, her brothers, and Nana defend the nursery against the Shadow, but resistance is futile. The Shadow returns and wants a boy to accompany him.
Bae offers himself in Michael Darling's stead. When the Shadow and Bae are nearly to Neverland, Bae (based on an earlier warning from Wendy) lets himself fall into the water (rather than set foot on Neverland soil). He is rescued by none other than Captain Hook. Before we flash forward, I must give my kudos to whomever is wielding the casting magic. Freya Tingley is every bit as much Wendy Darling, as Ginnifer Goodwin and Bailee Madison are both Snow White (and each other).
Storybrooke. Present. In a waterfront warehouse, Tamara and Greg torture an impotent Regina, for fun, profit, and Kurt Flynn's location. Emma searches Neal and Tamara's room again, and convinces Neal to tag along on her investigation. Neal continues to believe in Tamara, until he sees her clock Emma, and until Tamara shoots him and then opens a magical portal. Neal saves Emma from the portal, but slips in, himself. Emma tries to save him, but is unsuccessful. Before Neal disappears, Emma tells him she loves him and I cry, for more reasons than you might suspect.
In other news, the Charmings save Regina and Blue heals her (and removes the cuff, so Regina has magic again, which can't be good). Tamara absconds with the black diamond, which serves as the trigger for the Dark Curse Fail Safe. The audience ends the evening with their faces in their palms.
"Second Star to the Right," is entertaining and exciting. Bae's stop in England and trip to Neverland do the heart good. Still, I can't help but feel that so much of this season squanders characterization at the feet of plot. I don't hate that Emma loves Neal. I do hate that she's confessed it before he's earned it back, and that she confessed it first. I don't hate that the Charmings save Regina from Tamara and Greg...Owen...Growen...Groan. I do hate that Prince Charming speaks of their rescue as if it were a favor owed Regina.
I will be back with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're shooting Neal and then shoving him into a portal. Repeatedly.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously, on Once Upon A Time, Greg... Owen... Growen... Groan and Tamara enlist Hook to help find Groan's father. Grumpy, Charming and Snow discover the beans are gone. Regina is keeping a small beanstalk in her office. She tells Hook she plans to escape the destruction of Storybrooke, which will be brought about by triggering a failsafe built into the Dark Curse. Emma tells Neal that his fiancée is the "She" that August warned them about. Regina takes Cora's wrist cuff from Hook. Tamara and Groan have rigged it with something that blocks magic, which is explained with an Inarticulate Explanation The Stupid Audience Should Mistake For Science. Even more previously on Once Upon A Time the Blue Fairy gives Baelfire a magic bean, which can transport Rumpelstiltskin to a place where he can no longer use magic. Bae uses the bean to open a portal. When he starts to enter it, Rumpy panics at the thought of living without magic. Bae begs his Papa to come with him. Rumpy resists. Bae calls him a coward and accuses him of breaking their deal, then slips away.
Currently, on Once Upon A Time, we open in the not so Enchanted, yet still Enchanting Past. It is nighttime when Baelfire crashes into our world. Rising, he calls out for his Papa to no avail. When he's almost run over by a carriage the boy takes a look around and notices he's at the gate to Kensington Gardens. With wide eyes and a tear still trickling down his cheek, Bae wonders, "What is this place?" He turns toward the sound of chimes to see Big Ben in the distance. A chyron dopes slaps those of us who didn't already realize Bae has landed in London, England. Personally, I would have liked to see a year there. I suppose I could figure it out myself, but I'm already watching TV instead of reading a book for a reason. Title card.
London. Six months later, in whatever year this is. For now, I'm pretending it is 1904, which would make it early 20th Century. A soiled, weary looking Bae finds nothing but a browned apple core to eat. Then he notices a workman has left a ladder leaning up against a fine house. Bae climbs it and finds three fresh loafs of bread. As he tries to stuff his face and pockets, he is startled by barking from beneath the table. It is Nana! Wendy Darling (a perfectly cast Freya Tingley) rushes in the room. Clutching a statue (I believe it's a fairy statue, but my TV is far from my desk) as if it were a weapon, Wendy demands to know what the intruder wants.
Bae stammers as he tries to explain himself. When he drops a piece of bread, Wendy realizes he's just a hungry boy. Bae looks chagrinned, but Wendy is compassionate and well-bred, so she does what she can to set him at ease and encourages him to eat as much as he'd like. Bae and Wendy introduce themselves with shy, pleased smiles. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Present. 6:00 AM. Granny's B&B. Neal and Tamara's room. Tamara is suiting up to go "running." She's allegedly training for a marathon in three weeks time. Neal tells her to come back to bed and he'll give her a workout. I tell the Show to knock that off. This is family fare. Tamara smiles and kisses Neal goodbye. He tries to go back to sleep, but then hears noise outside, including his father's voice. We cut...
Outside. Gold and Laceybelle are standing over someone. Okay, if it's 6:00 AM, Laceybelle must be still up, rather than just getting up. Outside the Rabbit Hole, Dr. Whale (Dr. Frankenstein) is lying on the ground, with Gold's foot over his face. That's right. Gold wants him to kiss it. Apparently Whale committed the grand crime of staring at Laceybelle. Bae breaks up the scene. He holds back Gold until Whale gets away, then cracks that he's surprised Gold didn't turn Whale into a snail. Laceybelle finds this too amusing, so Gold gives her his keys and tells her to wait in his shop.
Alone with his father, Neal gives him what for. "You're unreal. You know that? You spend years looking for me. I come to town. You disappear." To be fair to your dad, Nealfire, I think that's more of a narrative choice. None of these poor suckers have truly connected with their near and dear this year. Neal continues, "You haven't even bothered to meet Tamara." Gold asks why he should concern himself with that half of the two-headed obstacle. Steeling himself for a bunch of the slippery-slope arguments, Neal announces he's going to marry that half of the two-headed obstacle. Gold says it will never last so long as Neal carries a torch for Emma, so Neal changes the subject. He tells Papa he hasn't changed one bit; he's not worth his time. Gold: "And yet you're still here." Neal nods. "For Henry. Not you. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay the Hell away from both of us." Really Neal, what you should do is take your son and his mother to Tallahassee and never return. We cut to the...
Mayor's Office. Charming and Emma enter with guns drawn. Once Emma yells that the place is clear, Snow and Henry appear. Henry asks if Emma will hurt Regina if she finds her. Emma assures him she won't. They just want the stolen beans. While Henry and his grandparents examine the now bean-free beanstalk, Emma checks out the activity on the security system. Referring to the empty beanstalk, Emma says she knows Regina wouldn't have left this kind of evidence behind. Charming suggests she's already used the beans to leave Storybrooke. Emma points out that Regina would never leave without Henry. Henry's worried something bad has happened to Regina.
Emma notices that someone entered an override code into the security system, and realizes Regina wouldn't have to do that, since she'd know the code. Snow and Charming say only Gold could overpower Regina. Personally, I think Regina is pretty handy at accidentally undermining if not overpowering herself, but since neither is the case here, it's not worth discussing. Emma knows Gold has been too busy with Laceybelle. She's sure Tamara is to blame for the disappearance of Regina and the beans (band name?). Snow condescends to Emma in a perfectly maternal fashion, about how Emma already tried to prove that, and it might be time to let it go. Emma points out that Tamara arrived the day August was attacked the day Tamara arrived in town. Emma tells her parents to go to Gold to see if he can magically locate Regina, meanwhile, she'll return to Tamara's room. We cut to the...
Waterfront. Tamara and Groan have set up shop inside the Storybrooke Cannery warehouse. Tamara shows Greg the beans she got from Regina's office. She explains they'll open portals. Groan is jealous of Neal, so Tamara tells him as soon as they've done their job Neal's engagement ring is coming off. Groan holds up the sack that contains the failsafe trigger -- a giant black diamond, and says she can have it instead. He doesn't know the gem's purpose, but he found it on Regina. Tamara says she'll send it to the Home Office. Groan says he still has something to do. Tamara tells him to make it quick, because they'll be getting their "instructions" soon. There's been a lot of reaction to this Home Office business. I'm trying to withhold my own, until I see how it all plays out. I've harped on the insertion of Tamara and Groan, into a story that already seems crowded enough that our main characters don't get the focus they should. That said I'm not going to hate on something that hasn't yet been revealed. Unless I get bored.
Hook looms over Regina, who is lying on a stretcher in an adjacent warehouse room. Regina tells Hook that whatever the two-headed obstacle is offering him it's not worth it. He disagrees, since they're offering him the chance to off Rumpy. Regina mocks him for trusting them. "You don't even know who you're working for." The conversation is interrupted by Groan who wants to know where his father is. Regina repeats her lie that Kurt left town. Groan knows his father would have found him, so he ignores her and hooks up some electric leads to Regina. Hook refuses to help. "Sorry, mate. I'm going to have to say no. When you're interested in killing Rumpelstiltskin, not torturing the Queen, find me." After Hook swans off, Groan goes about torturing Regina with electric shocks and a lot of muahahahaing about how, "This is how we deal with your kind," and it's going to be unpleasant, nearly as unpleasant as Groan and Tamara themselves. He again asks where his father is. When Regina doesn't answer she gets the first shock. Commercial.
London. Circa 1904. Bae is living in a little crawl space off the Darling nursery. Wendy knocks on the door and gives him some food. Bae worries that her parents will suspect. Wendy laughs. "They're grownups. They can't see anything that's not right in front of them." This provides Mama and Papa Darling with their happy ending, because they're right at the doorway. Papa Darling says, "We can't, can we?" As Wendy struggles to explain, Papa questions Bae who says that his mother is dead, and lies that his father is too. Bae says he'll leave right away. Mama Darling won't hear of it. Bae is afraid she's going to send him to a work house, but instead she welcomes him to their home. Score. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Present. Emma arrives at Neal's room and explains that since Regina is missing, she's looking for Tamara. I really hate that Neal gets these moments of thinking Emma only suspects Tamara, because she (Emma) is still into him. Granted, Tamara isn't only suspicious but guilty, so it will eventually blow up in his face, but I still begrudge him the momentary feeling of superiority. I don't hate Neal. I don't even hate the thought of Neal with Emma. I just hate how this all must make Emma feel. It's extremely effective storytelling, since it has me empathizing with Emma but it makes me feel so bad for her, that I don't want to watch it unfold.
Neal explains to Emma that Tamara is training for a marathon and is off for her usual run in the woods. Inspecting the floor of their closet, Emma notices not soil, but sand. Neal reasonably shrugs this off and says, "Maybe she runs along the beach instead. What does that prove?" Emma answers. "That she lied to you. If she lied about this, then you can bet she's lied about other things too." Neal says, "Maybe she just likes to run on the beach," which feels stilted. Like we're trying to prove that Neal is willfully blind to Tamara's actions. It would have worked better for me, if he pointed out this is a seaside town and she probably cools down on the beach after her run. At any rate, Emma tells him there's one way to find out. We flashback to...
1904 London. Night. Wendy calls Bae to the nursery window. Apparently it was just dumb luck that the Darling parents happened upon Bae in that earlier scene, because otherwise, these grownups can't even see what is directly in front of them. There's no way I'd put these two twitterpated adolescents in the same bedroom, with only two sleepy little boys as their chaperones. That said, I adore this nursery set and am glad it's used, so pay my objection no mind.
Wendy explains that a few weeks prior, right about the time Bae arrived, an unattached Shadow started coming to the nursery window. It can do wonderful things, including flying between worlds, because it has magic. Upon hearing the magic word (sorry) Bae asks Wendy to promise she'll never again open the window or talk to the Shadow. "Magic is dangerous. It always comes with a price." John Darling assumes Bae's just saying that because he doesn't believe in magic. Bae wastes no time in setting him straight. "No. I do believe. That's the point. I've seen magic. I come from another land, a land where magic is everywhere." Mesmerized, Wendy says that sounds wonderful. Bae begs to differ. Magic is why he left. "I lost everything because of it. [...] Magic destroyed my family. I don't want it to do the same to yours. If the Shadow comes back, promise me you won't go anywhere near it." Wendy promises. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Gold's Shop. Snow and Charming arrive and tell Gold that Regina is missing and might be in danger. Speaking for the audience, Gold says, "Just the way I like her." Eventually, Gold shoos Laceybelle off to the back room. Charming claims the favor he just extracted from Gold, to help them find Regina. Yes. I know. I'm shaking my head too. Gold wonders why they care about helping Regina. Snow says she owes her, on account of how she maliciously used Regina, who is always trying to kill them or wreck their lives, to kill Cora, who was bound and determined to kill them. Okay, that's certainly a paraphrase, but my bitterness is the only way I'm going to get through this without a glass of wine. Rumpy produces a vial containing one of Regina's tears, like that's a rare commodity. He then makes Snow cry and adds one of her tears to the vial. She's to drop the solution into her eye. That will link her with Regina. Whatever she sees and feels, Snow will see and feel. Oh my, I would certainly not be introducing Regina's bodily fluids into myself, particularly not my eye. Gold tells them the spell will last long enough to lead them to Regina, and with that, he pronounces his debt to Charming paid. Ugh.
Once the Charmings are gone, Laceybelle reemerges from the backroom. "So, it's true? I heard everything. You... you really can do magic." Gold tells her she might want to pour herself another drink. While I say, "I don't think anyone has to remind Laceybelle of that," she chuckles. We cut to...
Snow's hovel. Holding the vial of tears, Charming tries to talk Snow out of doing this. She's been through enough already. Snow tells him her heart is dark because of how she treated Regina. If she can help find and save the Evil Queen, maybe it will let in some of the light. Charming nods and drops the magical solution into his bride's eye. Snow blinks and waits. Soon, she's overcome. We flash between her hovel and the warehouse, where Regina is similarly wracked with pain. David screams, "Mary Margaret," before we go to commercial. The audience corrects him: "SNOW!"
1904 London. Night. For all that she's a compassionate, well-bred young lady, Wendy is more than happy to both break her promise to Bae and rub it in his face. She opens the window and beckons Bae as the Shadow approaches. Bae begs her to get away from the window, but Wendy insists that the Shadow is from a land with magic, but it's different from magic in Bae's land. In Neverland, there are no adults. Children never grow up and they can do anything... even fly. Bae tries to warn Wendy that this is all a trick. He tells her she doesn't even need magic. She has a family, which is all that matters. As holds onto one of her hands, the Shadow holds the other. Wendy tells Bae she's always dreamt of this, drops his hand and flies off into the night, like the Shadow is Benny Mardones. Flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Day. Beach. Neal asks Emma if she thinks Tamara is hiding Regina in a sand castle. To add insult to injury he then tells her she's letting emotion cloud her judgment. Emma takes out her service revolver, shoots him in the head, throws him into the surf, heads to the Mills mausoleum, finds the ashes of Sheriff Graham's heart, uses her innate magic to reconstitute it. She finds Graham's grave, digs up his corpse, inserts his reconstituted heart, then revivifies him with a kiss. Groan and Tamara are so grateful to be free of Neal, that they promise to leave town, provided Emma will continue the search for Kurt. They leave Emma with two new SCIENCE BRACELETS so that Gold and Regina will never again be a threat, and we all live happily ever after. Don't worry about Henry. Kids are resilient. The end.
Oh c'mon, once upon this recapper's dream, it totally plays out that way. On the actual show, Emma turns to Neal and says, "Do you really think this is all about me trying to break up you and Tamara? What do you wanna hear, Neal? That it killed me you never came looking for me even once I was locked up? [...] That it didn't hurt that you found Tallahassee with someone else?" Before the conversation can continue, Tamara runs up to Neal and Emma. He's surprised she isn't running in the woods. Tamara lies that she starts in the woods but finishes on the beach. When she asks what they're doing there, Emma says Regina is missing and they thought they might find her on the beach. Tamara blahs something about the Regina situation sounding terrible, tells Emma to let her know if she can help, then runs off.
Once Neal and Emma are again alone, she decides to make a swift exit, in search of her dignity. Neal stops her and blurts out that he wanted to go to jail for her. "It kills me that I let August talk me into letting you go." Emma doesn't want to hear it, but Neal says he has to say it. "I wanted to look for you. I just... I was too afraid [...] that you would never forgive me, because I never forgave myself. There hasn't been a day that's gone by, that I don't regret having left you. I'm sorry, Emma, for everything." Emma's smile is sad. "Me, too." She walks away. Neal trails behind. We cut to the...
Cannery Warehouse. Interior. Tamara returns and tells Groan that Emma and Neal bought her story about running the beach and asks how things are going with Queenie. Groan says she's not cooperative, but swears that's about to change. He shocks her again. Once her body has stopped seizing, Regina hisses that they have no idea with whom they're dealing. Groan is all, nuh-huh. Regina mocks them as a couple of fools, in over their heads, going around stealing magic. Tamara laughs at that idea. Groan corrects her. They're there to destroy it. Tamara adds, "Magic does not belong in this world. It's unholy. We're here to cleanse this land of it."
Regina laughs through her tears at the idea of these two destroying magic. Groan wonders why she thinks there are only two of them, and says, "We're everywhere." When he tells her about the days following his childhood escape from Storybrooke, I marvel at how the show has managed to change a sympathetic, wronged little boy, into this hateful man. All Groan's traumatized ramblings about magic brought him to the attention of whatever organization he and Tamara work for. It's full of believers who know magic is real and doesn't belong in this world, and they're willing to do something about it. Regina says, "This little quest of yours to cleanse the world of magic is not going to work." Groan says, "Of course it will. We've done it before, and we'll do it, again. Do you think that Storybrooke is the first time that magic has crossed over?" Tamara says magic has been doing it's damage for a long time. Groan says people like them are there to stop it. He gives Regina another dose of electricity to punctuate his point. We cut to...
Snow's hovel. As she recovers, she tells David that she experienced the worst pain she's ever felt. Regina is powerless to fight back. She didn't see where she was. All she remembers is pain and screaming. She was tied down somewhere cold, and it smelled of sardines. Well, that is fishy. We cut to the...
Waterfront. Walking along with Neal, Emma talks to her father on the phone. David reports Snow's experience under the tear spell. When he mentions the sardines, Emma spots the cannery and tells her parents to come to the docks, immediately, then hangs up. Yes, it's dumb she didn't say to meet her at the cannery. This is a seaside town. The docks isn't all that specific of a location, particularly when you're going to be inside. Emma turns to Neal and tells him, "I was right. Tamara was not down here for a run. She's in there with Regina." Commercial.
1904 London. Morning. Wendy returns to find Bae sleeping on the window seat. He thought he'd never see her again. Wendy is surprised to learn she was only gone the night. "It felt like so much longer, as though time works differently in Neverland." She tells Bae that while there are no adults to tell you what to do, there are all sorts of mystical creatures, including mermaids and fairies. While it sounds wonderful, she returned home, because back in Neverland, at nightfall, the children cry over missing their parents, but the Shadow wouldn't let them go home. "There's a reason it's called Neverland, because once you set foot on its soil, the Shadow never lets you leave." She only escaped because the Shadow is all Girls drool. Boys rule. "He's coming back tonight, to take one of my brothers in my place. You said magic was bad, and you were right, Bae. It's going to destroy my family." Bae vows he won't let anything bad happen to any of the Darlings. He takes Wendy's hand and while they make out (oh, c'mon) we flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Gold's Shop. Gold makes some sort of glowy, green potion for Laceybelle, who wonders why he didn't tell her about his powers before. Gold says, "Magic always comes with a price. Tends to drive away the people I care about most." Lacey suggests he's been caring about the wrong sort, and asks what else he can do. He produces a diamond necklace from thin air. It appears to be the same one Belle dreamt about in "The Crocodile." As he puts the bling on her neck, Gold tells her there are many perks to being the Dark One. Laceybelle asks if that includes immortality -- if he could keep her young. "Because then we can... we can be together forever. Nothing can keep us apart." Oh, she's using him. I like this turn.
Always mindful of small details, Gold explains that while immortal means one can live forever, it doesn't mean one can't be killed. He tells her of the Seer's prophecy that someone might be his undoing. Lacey says if he knows who this someone is that he should get rid of him. Gold tells her it's complicated. Lacey purrs, "I thought you were a man who wouldn't let anything stand in his way." He grabs her a bit too roughly, but Lacey likes that. Gold tells her, "I am." We cut to the...
Warehouse. Interior. Emma gives Neal a chance to go, but he says he's not going to leave her alone in that place. Okay, he's finally earned a point with me. Emma says, "If something goes down with Tamara, I need to know you've got my back." Neal smarms: "Emma, if Tamara is hiding Regina here in her evil lair by the docks, yeah, I've got your back." Emma's gun has been drawn the whole time, but sadly she doesn't use it to shoot Neal. Instead, once she hears a noise, she charges toward it, weapon at the ready, only to find David and Snow charging toward her. David's gun is also at the ready. Quick, everyone turn and shoot Neal.
Ignoring me, David hands his daughter a walkie-talkie so they don't almost shoot each other again. Emma tells her parents to search the basement. She and Neal will cover the main floor. She knows Regina must be there. We cut to Tamara's office. She's been monitoring the security camera, and knows it's time to go. Groan isn't ready. He still needs to torture his father's location out of Regina. Tamara warns him that if he gets caught, the whole operation is blown. Groan says they only know about Storybrooke because of his dad. He's not leaving until he finds out where Kurt is. Tamara reluctantly agrees and tells him he'll find her at their rendezvous.
Alone with Regina, Groan cranks up his torture device and tells Regina he's got to move up the timeline. He's giving her one last chance to tell him where Kurt is. When Regina ignores him, Groan tells her, "Time's up." Finally, Regina tells him to wait. Groan asks where he father is. Regina smiles. "Dead. I killed him. The minute you ran away... [...] Don't believe me? Go see for yourself. I buried his body at your camp site. I doubt he gets many visitors there. Now go ahead and kill me. I just wanted to see the look on your face when I..." Groan silences Regina by zapping her with a huge dose of electricity. Commercial.
1904 London. Night. As soon as Mama Darling bids her "treasures" goodnight and leaves the room, the children hop out of bed. Bae says they have work to do. He lights a lantern and locks the window, while the children arm themselves with toys which now serve as makeshift weapons. He tells the children not to worry. The Shadow will take no one tonight. When Wendy thanks him with a hug, he tells her she can thank him in the morning. Once the children are in bed, a mystical breeze extinguishes their lanterns. Bae orders the Darlings into the crawlspace. Little Michael Darling lags behind. The Shadow is about to take him, so Bae runs out and puts himself between the little boy and their dark menace. "You want him? Take me instead." Wendy runs out of the crawl space and tries to stop Bae, but he's determined magic won't destroy this family. Taking the Shadow's hand, Bae thanks her for making him part of the Darling family. The Shadow whisks Bae over London . As they Big Ben, it's 8:15. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Cannery. Groan is trying to shock Regina to death. Did his weird, "That's scary, ain't it," completely take any of the rest of you out of the moment? Charming rides (well runs) to the rescue, shoots out the electro-shock device and orders Groan not to move, so Groan of course ignores him and runs. When David runs after him, Snow calls him back saying they can't leave Regina. Why can't David run after Groan while Snow tends to Regina? Well, because it doesn't serve the plot. David reaches Emma on the walkie and tells her to block all the exits.
Emma and Neal are already working on it. Neal hears David tell Emma that they found Regina with Groan, who will be heading Emma's way. At the mention of Groan, poor Emma is horrified at her supposed mistake, so Neal can't miss the opportunity to make her feel even worse. "So I was right? It wasn't Tamara." No, Neal, you were wrong, and now your fiancée has just clocked your Baby Mama over the head, knocked her out, and knocked the gun out of her hand. How does it feel to be you, you Dupefire? Tamara grabs Emma's gun and turns it on Neal. She tells him she has to keep magic out of this world, and he should understand that more than anyone else.
Neal would really rather talk about how their whole relationship has been a lie, so Tamara admits it has been thus, ever since she bumped into him and spilled her coffee. I hope you'll excuse me for, in this moment, loving Tamara just a little bit. Sure, she's one half of the two-headed obstacle, but I do like watching Neal get served. She patronizes him by telling him he's a good man, but she has an important job to do. Neal says, "You never loved me." Tamara says, "No." Neal: "I can't let you leave here, Tamara." I can't help but wonder if he'd have been willing to let her go, had her answer been, "Yes." Blah. Neal closes in on Tamara, so she calls his bluff and shoots him in his right side. Standing over him, Tamara puts the gun to his head and says she's sorry.
Emma rises, says, "You should be," and kicks the gun out of Tamara's hand. I'm not your action recapper, but the two women struggle. Emma gets the better of Tamara and gets in a nice body slam at the end, then runs back to retrieve her gun. Once it's in hand, Emma says, "It's over." Tamara says, "No, it's not," then casts down a magic bean. It spins into a glowing, crackling vortex. Tamara says, "Bye," and runs off. As the portal grows, Emma has to grab onto a nearby pipe, to keep from falling in. Neal rushes to the edge, reaches out and grabs her. Once her feet are on the floor, Emma says she has to get Neal to a hospital, but the portal widens further. They both start to fall in. Emma grabs onto a floorboard, while below her, Neal holds onto her hand. He knows she can't hold both of them, though. Emma insists she's not letting him go. He's been shot, and if he falls through the portal, he'll die no matter where he lands.
Neal argues that Henry needs Emma. "He can't lose both of us. Don't make him grow up like we did." Emma says, "Then don't let go." She's crying now and adds, "I need you." She looks down at Neal then says, "I love you." Neal says, "I love you, too." As Emma smiles through her tears, Neal looks into her eyes and works his hand free. Emma screams as he falls away into nothingness. The vortex closes. Emma weeps. I throw stuff at my TV.
Woods. Groan is digging fast and furious, when his shovel hits something that sounds like metal, so of course it's a shirt. Yes. He cries, "No, no, no," which is exactly my answer when you ask if I care about his personal loss. After finding the shirt, he soon comes across a skull and says, "Dad." I'm ignoring how improbable it is that Groan could find exactly the right spot at their unmarked campsite in which to dig, mostly because I have a deadline. The Contrivance Fairy says, "You're welcome." We cut to...
Snow's Hovel. Blue waves her wand over Regina, then tells Snow and Charming, "Now that the cuff is off [Regina] is going to be okay. Her magic will return." Well whose dumbass idea was it to remove the cuff? We don't get an answer to that, because Emma returns and she's nearly catatonic. David asks what happened. Emma doesn't answer, so Snow adds, "Where's Neal?" Emma stares blankly, then finally says, "He's gone. She killed him." We flash back to...
1904. The Shadow drags Bae ever closer to Neverland. Remembering what Wendy said about one's feet touching down on Neverland soil, he struggles to free himself from the Shadow. Thinking quickly, he recalls storing a box of matches in his bathrobe pocket, so he takes them out, lights one and waves it at the Shadow, who drops Bae into the sea and flies off toward Neverland. As Bae rises to the surface, a ship nears. The crew hauls him aboard. Bae lies on his stomach and coughs up water. A familiar voice encourages him. "Good lad. Get the sea out of your lungs." Bae looks up and says, "Who are you?" Our favorite swashbuckler is standing to Mr. Smee, and says, "The name's Hook. Captain Hook. Welcome aboard the Jolly Roger, my boy." We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Emma is sitting on the loft staircase. Charming has his arm around her and says, "Emma. I'm so sorry." Still dazed, Emma wonders half aloud, "How... am I going to tell Henry?" David knows there's no right answer to that question, so he pulls his daughter close and kisses her hair. Oh look, he got to be her father for mere moments, in the penultimate episode of the season. Satisfied? Me, neither.
In the bedroom, Snow applies a cold compress to Regina's brow. Regina wakes and says, "You. You saved me?" David asks if she really thought they'd let her die. "Despite our differences, we're family." Ugh, really? I mean, I think it's great they didn't let her die. I think there's a better way to state your reasons, David, like maybe, "Despite our differences, you're Henry's family," or perhaps, "Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't." You're taking that "Keep your enemies closer," folderol too literally. Regina asks where Groan and Tamara are. When Charming confesses they got away, Regina whispers, "Oh, so they still have it." Snow says, "They still have what?" We cut to the...
Woods. Tamara finds Groan re-burying his father's remains. She tells him she's sorry about his father, then hands him the black diamond and reports the Home Office has figured out what it does. We cut back to...
Snow's Hovel. Offscreen, Regina has told the Charmings about the diamond that serves as a trigger. Regina explains it triggers a curse failsafe that will destroy Storybrooke. Snow and Charming start to put two and two together, but Regina doesn't have time to watch her "two idiots" employ fingers and toes to do the math, so she says, "I was going to use the beans to take Henry back to the Enchanted Forest." Snow: "And in the process, kill all of us!" Regina has been on this show for two seasons now, so she's adept at equating the Charmings' defensive maneuvers with her murderous plans. "You want to discuss justification? You were going to abandon me. Or shall we discuss a more pressing issue, which is that I no longer control the trigger." We cut back to the...
Woods. Tamara tells Groan the Home Office wants them to move onto the "phase." Groan says, "Already?!" Tamara nods. "Yeah. There's only one way to get what we all want. We have to blow Storybrooke off the map." Dun dun dun!
I received some pushback to my objections (see recaplet) about Emma telling Neal she loves him. I get it. I do. I never figured Emma was over her feelings for Henry's father. The first tip off was back in season 1, when she lied to Henry about him, but never told Snow anything more. Everything I've seen between them this season backs that up. I just want better for Emma. Despite all my hyperbole and douchefires to the contrary, I'm not even saying Neal can't be her something better. I just would have liked her confession of love to come in a different way and at a different time. That said, Jennifer Morrison and Michael-Raymond James have good chemistry. They knocked their big dramatic scene out of the park. Within the story, I can understand Emma confessing her love at that moment, because she believes he's headed for certain death. My objection is to the narrative itself. I can't fault the execution, though.
I want to applaud the twist to the Peter Pan story. I like that the Shadow is such a creepy figure. I've seen lots of objections to this, but I never expected Once Upon A Time to be a straight retelling of fairy tales. What would be the point? This new take has me intrigued, more than I expected to be. There's a lot of speculation that the Darling Children will turn out to be the founders of Groan and Tamara's Home Office. That sounds right to me. What do you think?
I will be back with coverage of the second season finale, "And Straight On 'Til Morning." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're shooting Neal and then shoving him into a portal. Repeatedly.