In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Once Upon A Time, in the Enchanted Past, young Cora (Rose McGowan) is the daughter of a drunken miller. When she's delivering flour to the palace, she is inexplicably (thus far) but purposefully tripped by visiting Princess Eva (Eva Allan). So much for Eva's "Peasants are people, too," schtick from last week. That said, I hope and actually expect there's more to Cora's hatred of Eva than we get in "The Miller's Daughter." Anyhow, King Xavier (Joaquim de Almeida) orders Cora to apologize and remain on her knees until the royals have left the premises.
Cora crashes a royal masquerade ball but her mask can't hide her from the King, who cuts in while she's dancing with Prince Henry (Zak Santiago). After exchanging a few barbs (she accuses him of whoring out his son, while he belittles her station and her stolen straw-flecked gown) Cora claims she can spin straw into gold and tries to swan off. King Xavier stops her and mocks her claims before his guests. When Cora says it will take time, Xavier tells her she can spend the night in the tower. If she spins straw into gold, she can marry Prince Henry. If she fails, she shall die.
From there on out the tale mostly follows the Rumpelstiltskin story, or would, if Rumpy wrote it down in a letter to Penthouse. Instead of spinning the straw for her though, Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal to teach Cora how to spin straw into gold, provided she gives him her firstborn. The day, when Cora demonstrates her ability to King Xavier he makes good on his word and Henry proposes marriage.
As the wedding approaches, Rumpy visits the soon-to-be bride. It's clear they've been canoodling and Cora has developed feelings for her sparkly lover. She is ready to give up her royal marriage for a chance to be with him. At first, Rumpy says all he can give her is darkness and isolation, but when she says he can give her love, he agrees. Cora admits love is what she wants, so Rumpy amends their contract. She no longer owes him a random firstborn child, but rather his child. There's just one thing; Cora cannot forget her humiliation at the hands of the king. She wants to tear out his heart and crush it. This turns Rumpy on so he agrees to show her how. They seal their deal with a kiss.
When Cora meets with King Xavier, she learns he knows about her affair with the Evil Imp. Telling her that love is weakness, Xavier says she can run off with her lover, or she can enjoy all the trappings of royalty and all the power it brings. Later, meeting with Rumpy, Cora reveals that she chose to rip out her own heart, rather than Xavier's. It was stopping her from reaching her goals. Rumpy is furious and accuses her of never loving him. With tears in her eyes, Cora listens, but since her heart is in wooden chest rather than her fleshy one, I'm pretty sure her tears for the Crocodile are only crocodile tears.
Present. Henry helps Neal sail the Jolly Roger back to town. Meanwhile, Cora and Regina listen in on the Charmings' phone conversation. In what might be the most delightful moment of the hour, after Cora hears Snow refer to her as "that wicked woman" she knocks the speaker off of Regina's desk. When Regina chides her, Cora says, "I don't like what that enchanted box was saying." Regina tries to explain how it's just a phone tap, and everyone under fifty feels for her, as she tries to be patient with her technology-impaired parent.
Once the Charmings have pawned Henry off on Ruby, the rest of the Storybrooke story revolves around Neal, Emma, Snow and Charming trying to protect Mr. Gold. When Snow is alone with Gold in the back room of his shop, he asks her for a blanket and directs her to a cabinet, but inside she finds the Life-for-a-Life candle. Rumpy wants Snow to use it to save him, but she points out she didn't even use it to save her own mother and asks what makes him think she'd use it for him. Rumpy says, "You're all grown up, now. And for once, our interests are aligned." I don't often quote in recaplets, but that line -- especially the first sentence -- has me thinking all the thoughts.
Anyhow, Gold says Snow can find Cora's heart in Regina's vault, burn the candle over it and whisper Cora's name. He allows that the tricky part of this plan involves shoving the heart back into Cora. Snow suggests she could instead use Cora's heart to force her to do the right thing and Gold would die. This would take care of two evils at once. Not liking the sound of that, Gold says he can just imagine how Henry will feel when he finds out Snow killed his grandfather.
Gold teaches Emma to cast a protection spell over the shop, which is but a momentary inconvenience for the Evil Regals. Once Regina and Cora are inside, the only thing keeping them from Gold is a magical chalk line. (I'll explain in the recap.) Snow manages to get out, and Charming is again knocked out. He seems to be in a race with Hook to become the Rupert Giles of this show.
Snow heads to the vault as Neal and Emma try to fend off the Evil Regals. Once Neal and Emma are in the back room, behind the magical chalk line, Cora senses that someone is approaching her heart and dispatches Regina to the vault, to retrieve it. Meanwhile, in the back room, Gold asks Emma to place a call to Belle. Once he's got her on the line he melts everyone's heart, Neal's included. I hate doing this in recaplets, but I have to quote Gold at length, now. It's too good to gloss over. He even manages to salvage Belle's character a bit. It's that good.
When Belle answers the phone, she reminds him she doesn't remember him. Gold says, "I know. I know. It's just uh... Sweetheart, I'm dying." After Belle says she sorry to hear that Gold continues. "I know that you're confused about who you are, so I'm gonna tell you. You are a hero who helped your people. You're a beautiful woman who loved an ugly man -- really, really loved me. You find goodness in others. And when it's not there, you create it. You make me wanna go back -- back to the best version of me. And that never happened before. So when you look in the mirror and you don't know who you are -- that's who you are. Thank you... Belle." Oof.
After the call has ended, a tearful Neal says he didn't know his father had that in him. Gold replies, "Oh, I'm full of love. I've spent a lifetime looking for you -- for a chance to say I love you, and I'm sorry." There's more talk between them that will keep 'til the recap. Suffice it to say that Gold reaches for his son's hand as asks if he might grasp it. When Neal says he's still angry, Gold replies, "I know." This is enough to break the logjam. Neal is Baelfire now. He clasps his father's hand and rests his head on it.
Regina finds Snow at the vault. Snow presents Regina with Cora's heart and says that without it, Cora is incapable of giving Regina the love she craves. As she waves the bait of real motherly love and the start of a family worthy of Henry, Snow tells Regina the choice is hers.
Later, when David finds Snow outside the vault she's clutching her head in her hands. Telling David he was right, she says, "This isn't me." Oh, Snow. No it isn't. "The Miller's Daughter" is full of strong acting, but Ginnifer Goodwin's performance in this small scene just blows me away.
Back at the shop, Cora breaks through the last barrier and promptly poofs away Neal and Emma into the woods, which makes me say, "I see what you did there, Jane Espenson." Of course poofing them away so easily raises the question of why she didn't poof away all four of her opponents when she and Regina first entered the shop. Too powerful magic continues to vex this series. I'd love an episode in which some of the villains powers are somehow limited, in both Storybrooke and L'enchantement.
Once she's alone with Gold, Cora tells him she had to rip out her heart because he was her weakness -- the only man she ever truly loved. Standing over his bed, she raises the dagger in the air and is about to plunge it into the Dark One, when Regina enters and shoves Cora's heart back into her chest. The change in Cora's expression is remarkable. Regina instantly responds to the love she has finally found in her own mother's eyes, but her joy is short lived. As Cora's legs give way, Gold looks down to see that his wound has been instantly healed.
Regina catches the falling Cora, who now bears Rumpy's wound. Meanwhile, Rumpy reaches for his dagger. His name, which had been disappearing throughout the episode, is once again fully engraved on the dagger -- in all its misspelled glory. Cora looks up at Regina and says, "This would have been enough. You would've been enough," and then dies. Looking at the fully healed Rumpy, Regina assumes he cast the spell that stole her life but he says he did nothing. Just then, Snow and Charming barge in. Snow is yelling, "Regina! Stop!" Alas, it is too late. Regina looks up at her nemesis and hisses, "You did this." And I did this, that is, I went into so much detail that you should probably expect to see a few of these paragraphs plagiarized in the recap. Oops.
There is an awful lot I love about this episode. I love Snow's dilemma (even as I regret her choice) and respect that Once Upon A Time has gone there with her character, even though it's not what I wanted to see. That said, the backstory set in the Enchanted Past fails to move me at all -- which is why this episode did not get a better grade.
I understand writing young Cora as a strong and even bold character, but her dialogue sails her right past Bold Beach and leaves her shipwrecked on Impudence Isle. Her lines with the royals take me completely out of the episode. Physically, Rose McGowan is well cast as a young Cora, but even prior to ripping out her own heart, she does not delve to the emotional depths that Barbara Hershey seems to reach without breaking a sweat. To be fair to McGowan, I'm not sure what else she could do with what she was given.
It is jarring, and not in a good way, that Eva, the same benevolent Queen we met last week, is such a petty Princess this week. Of course, the character matures between this week's events and those of "The Queen Is Dead;" I understand that yet even the young Princess is a little too long in the tooth for such childish, nasty behavior. As I said up top, I fully expect there is more to Cora and Eva's backstory and that someday we'll get it. That's wonderful and I look forward to it, but that does nothing to explain Eva this week.
Complaints aside, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Morrison, Michael Raymond-James, Barbara Hershey, and of course Lana Parrilla and Robert Carlyle bring their A games. If I could ignore the flashbacks, I'd give this episode an A based both on their performances and the Storybrooke writing. I have more to say but this is nearly a recap already and I don't want future me to use hatred of present me to fuel any dark magic, so I'll let it steep a bit.
I will be back with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we promise we won't post in invisible, magic chalk.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Once Upon A Time, Hook travels to Manhattan, and with his poison laced hook, he stabs Rumpelstiltskin in the chest. Baelfire says he can pilot the Jolly Roger back to Storybrooke. Snow overhears Regina and Cora's plans to find the Dark One's dagger. Cora, disguised as the Blue Fairy, gives wee Snow White a magical Life-for-a-Life candle. Cora crows over Queen Eva's corpse. Adult Snow accuses Cora of killing her mother. Cora admits she did, in order to make Regina queen. And...
Now on Once Upon A Time, we open in the Enchanted Past, as we so often do, and that really ticks me off for only one reason. I like to do the Previously to Now, juxtaposition, but the Now always ends up being a Then, if you see what I mean. Why won't the show cater to my peculiarities?
In the Enchanted Past, we meet youngish Cora (Rose McGowan), who is the Miller's Daughter we've been so long expecting. Her drunken father is passed out on their wagon full of flour that should have already been delivered. Cora upbraids him, throws his cup and pushes the wagon all the way to a...
Random Kingdom. The young version of Snow White's mother, Eva, is played by Eva Allan, which I'm spelling out, because my mother (who is nothing if not quick on her feet) didn't realize until we talked who the young princess was supposed to be. I don't blame her, because we just met Eva last week, and she was sweet, kind and fair (and played by Rena Sofer), and this week, she's a spoiled brat who trips Cora for no given reason. I already complained about this at length in the recaplet (and understand it will likely be explained in the future, but I don't care) so I'm letting that go now. Really. To add insult to injury, when Cora falls, the sacks of flour she was lugging spill open, and then King Xavier (Joaquim de Almeida) tells Cora she won't be paid for the flour this, and makes her apologize, on her knees, to Eva.
Apparently, Eva is an honored guest from the Northern Kingdom, which I only mention because it's great to have even the tiniest morsel of kingdom differentiation in the Fairy Tale flashbacks. Cora is unbelievably (and I mean that -- I can't buy it) rude to Eva and to the King, but I already complained about that in the recaplet, too. Bah. I hate recaplet-writing me. So yes, the apple that is Regina didn't fall far from Mother Tree. Cora chooses to become a murderous, vengeful wretch because of this small incident. I'm already emotionally disengaged from this character and we're about two minutes in. That doesn't bode well for the rest of McGowan's scenes. Title card (featuring a spinning wheel).
As Neal (Baelfire) and Henry sail the Jolly Roger through the North Atlantic's CGI Stream that leads from Manhattan to Maine. We cut to below deck, where Rumpy is bleeding and suffering, like you do when you've been stabbed with a poisonous pirate hook. When Emma enters his cabin, she heaves a sigh and leans up against the door, so she must have had enough of watching the shiny happy father and son reunion taking place at the ship's wheel. Poor Emma. I want to make her some soup.
Emma and Rumpy exposit about the poison and the fact that, with the Dark One Dagger, Regina and Cora could force him to do anything, like oh say, kill everyone. When Rumpy figures Emma might not be so inclined to save him, Emma says she'll save him because he's Henry's grandfather. Emma being Emma, she makes no effort to hide her reluctance, so even though he's dying of pirate poisoning (what would you call it?) Rumpy still has enough sarcasm in his soul to crack that he's soooo reassured.
Storybrooke. Day. David is on the street, talking on the phone to Snow -- explaining about Rumpy's wound, the poison, the ship and all that jazz. He passes by a blonde, whose hair shade is the same as Emma's. Since we never see her face, I can't help but wonder if she's Jennifer Morrison's stunt-double. The show doesn't feature a lot of blonde females. Cinderella and Abigail (Kathryn) are the only blondes of note that I recall, and their shades are so different from Emma's (which, frankly, is full-on brassy). I started noticing this when Once Upon A Time's Aurora was introduced. She looks so different from my ideal Aurora (okay, Disney's Aurora), and that's mostly because of the hair. My theory is that the show wants Emma to stand out.
Regina and Cora are hanging in Regina's office. I'm sad to say I don't mean that literally. They should both be put out of Storybrooke's misery. Regina has managed to tap Snow's phone, so they're listening in on the Charmings' conversation. After Cora hears Snow refer to her as "that wicked woman" she knocks the speaker off of Regina's desk. Regina is all, "Mother!" Cora: "I don't like what that enchanted box was saying." I love you, Jane Espenson. I love you so much.
Cora continues and claims she's not wicked. Uh, right. I mean, I know we all rationalize our sins, but that right there is some heavy lifting. Regina explains how the enchanted box is just a phone tap. Cora doesn't care. She's upset that Rumpy has a head's up on their dagger theft because that will give him time to respond. She takes heart (not literally, not yet) when she sees that his misspelled name is fading from the dagger. Should it reappear, I hope it's spelled correctly! Cora says she can't let all Rumpy's power boil off into the air. Regina wants to use him to get Henry back before Rumpy dies, but Cora won't hear of it. She says she "has" to stab him with the knife and become the Dark One, like that wasn't her plan all along.
It's possible Regina didn't take two stupid pills this morning because she realizes Cora is working her own agenda. Sadly, she must have taken one stupid pill, because she reveals her suspicion to Cora, who blabbers obfuscations about how she is doing all of this for the sake of their family, so that they don't spend the rest of what she assumes would be their short lives on their knees, in front of the Charmings. Yeah, still not sympathetic, Cora, which is actually just fine by me. I know this show is about love, hope, redemption and all that jazz, but I am happy no one is telling me I have to sympathize with Hitler.
Enchanted Past. Somehow, somewhere, the peasant Cora, who was just told she wasn't getting paid, and had been worrying about her meal, arrives at the royal masquerade ball, wearing a sumptuous crimson gown. She grabs a mask and goes to chat up Prince Henry (Zak Santiago), all the while pretending she doesn't know he is Prince Henry. She makes a little jab about the King courting wealthy women to purchase his son. When Henry remarks on her frankness, Cora plays a little I'm a silly goose, and somehow this inspires Henry to ask her to waltz. Wait. That's not waltzing! No wonder she turns evil.
It's not long before King Xavier cuts in. He asks Cora if she really believed a stolen gown (really, she stole it?) and a mask would keep him from recognizing her, points out that her gown is flecked with straw. This scene is visually beautiful, but all of the flashbacks leave me cold this week. I seem to be in the minority about that, though, so I'll sally forth.
After Cora accuses Xavier of selling off his own flesh and blood, Xavier comments on her insolence, and I'm with him. Jane Espenson, you know how I just said I love you, right? Well, I totally do. I am sad to say I do not feel the same way about how you've written young Cora's demeanor. She is overly forthright in a way that neither jibes with her station, nor with Barbara Hershey's Cora, who is such a cool customer, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Since young Cora is being played by a 40 year old, rather than a 17 year old, I can't believe she hasn't learned to hold her tongue but a little and better wield her feminine wiles. Xavier allows that the kingdom is cash poor and lords it over Cora that he's still miles above her. It's then that Cora tells him she can turn straw into gold, but since he's insulted her, she won't help. She wishes him good luck in whoring out his son and tries to leave. Xavier stops Cora and then humiliates her in front of all his guests, by loudly mocking her foolhardy claim. Cora says she just needs time to gather her thoughts. Xavier tells her she can spend the night trying. If she succeeds, she can marry the prince. If she fails, she will die. Die, young Cora. Die!
Storybrooke. Snow, Charming and Red are waiting at the docks when the Invisible Roger returns. As Charming and Neal help Rumpy to the truck, Henry brags to his good grandfather that he "drove" the ship. I'd pick on Henry for not saying "steered" or "piloted" but he's a little kid. I think his use of "drove" is a nice character moment. What's an even nicer character moment is Charming's response when Henry tells him, "My dad showed me how." Charming's nostrils flare and his lips nearly curl into a sneer as he gives Neal the side-eye. Neal's halting, "That's me," does nothing to diffuse the tension. Deck him, Charming. Deck him hard. He doesn't listen. I hope he's saving it for another day, because right now, Neal's face is the reason Germans have the word backpfeifengesicht. I know last week, I was giddy about defenestration, but I'm not sure my love of any word approaches my adoration of backpfeifengesicht. When I'm in a mellow mood, I do love mollycoddle, though.
Charming sits Rumpy down on the truck's tailgate and asks if Cora is trying to control him yet. Injured Rumpy is scared Rumpy and scared Rumpy is not large with the social graces so he hisses something about how, if Cora was controlling him, they'd already be dead. At that Snow says they'll just have to take the fight to Cora. "And this time -- we finish it." When Charming tries to talk her down, Snow insists Cora needs to be stopped. "...She needs to be killed. This is our family. We are going to protect it." David tries to moralize at her, but Snow points out how Cora is the reason he never got to meet her mom. David: "I know. I know what happened to Queen Eva and I have zero problem with Cora dying for it, but not by your hand and not out of vengeance." Okay, how is Cora dying for it, that is, for Eva's death, anything but vengeance, regardless of whose hand deals the killing blow? Don't get me wrong, Cora needs to die, I'm focusing particularly on his wording: "I have zero problem with Cora dying for it..." That right there is the vengeance motive. There are other reasons and motives, but that particular one is vengeance, Sweet Cheeks. Anyhow, he goes on about how Snow wouldn't be able to live with herself. "You have the purest heart of anyone I've ever known. That's who you are, and that's who you're going to stay."
Poor Rumpy is still suffering and bleeding. He tells Emma he's beginning to feel a bit stronger. I am not crazy about the fact that, since he's immortal, he can die by anything other than the Dark One dagger. If he'd died in New York, I'd be okay because he didn't have his powers there, but he's back in Storybrooke, now. Why doesn't the wound disappear (poison or not, magical poison or not), or at least, now that he's back in Magic-town, why doesn't he try to heal it? This is just my latest problem with the mythology and use of magic on this show. It works and fails as is convenient. Really Show, if/since magic is going to feature so prominently, you need some rules. Instead, Rumpy just mumbles something about going back to his shop. There's magic there that can protect them. Henry knows this is his cue to leave. And poor Red, who has barely spoken a line, has pulled the short straw on babysitting duty. Before the boy leaves, he throws a small bone and is actually nice to her. "Don't look so worried. You'll stop Cora. You won't let her get away." We flash back to...
Random Kingdom. Cora peers out the tower window looking for an escape, but there's none to be found. She's startled by Rumpy's tee-heeing, but even his gold speckled skin isn't enough to make her loose her wits. She knows if he found his way in, there must be some way out for her.
Rumpy tells her that spinning straw into gold is her way out, and he's just the fae, speckled, maniac to teach her how. As Cora mocks his claims, Rumpy proves his point. People who know more about spinning than I mock how this process works on screen, but come on. They're spinning straw into gold. I've already suspended my disbelief. It's not long before Rumpy presents Cora with one of his trademark contracts. He'll turn all the straw into gold by morning, if she will agree to surrender her firstborn child. Cora is surprised to learn said child will be a daughter, but Rumpy explains that away when he mentions he can see the future.
Cora will agree to the deal, provided Rumpy teaches her how to spin the gold, instead of doing it for her. Rumpy likes her gumption, so he bows and introduces himself using his name. At first, I didn't like that he gave her his name, since it is such a feature of the original fairy tale, but the more I think about it, I'm fine with it -- mostly because of how the rest of their story plays out, but also, his name is still a key feature of his story, since it appears on the dagger. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Gold's Shop. Back Room. At his instruction, Emma brings him an apparently empty glass jar. When she hears something clinking inside, she pulls out a piece of what Rumpy explains is invisible magic chalk. Really? That's what you came up with, Jane? You wrote for BtVS for how many years? Not that there's anything wrong with invisible magic chalk. I guess. Rumpy tells Emma to draw a line across the front doorway, and tells the rest of the gang to prepare for battle.
Charming, Neal and Emma beat Snow out of the room. Once Rumpy has her alone, he asks her to get a heavier blanket out of the cabinet. Inside, instead of a blanket, she finds the Life-for-a-Life candle. Snow recognizes it instantly. Holding it, she turns to Rumpy and asks, "Why do you have this?" Rumpy smiles through the pain. "For a rainy day."
Out in the front section of the shop, Jennifer Morrison gets down on her knees and thanks her Middle School acting teacher for making her practice miming all those years ago, and then in character as Emma, she starts drawing an invisible, magical chalk line across the doorway. As she scribbles, Neal teases that she missed a spot, then gets a little self-righteous as he sneers and says he didn't know she was magical. Emma calls him out on that. "Oh my. Are you being judge-y about this? 'Cause you're not allowed to have opinions about surprises, Mr. Son-of-Rumpelstiltskin." Oh Emma, you're choosing to shame him about his parentage, when you could still be giving him a ration for getting teenaged you imprisoned for his crimes? You are made of true love.
And then Neal goes there. No. Really. Ignoring that the surprise to which she's referring is his parentage, Neal smirks and says, "Oh..." in that really annoying way. When Emma wonders what he means, he says, "I didn't mean for Tamara to be a...surprise." When Emma says, "Do you think I care that a guy I dated a decade ago is engaged?" I want to take the pen away from Jane and rewrite Emma's retort into a false imprisonment jab, to save her some face, but I think it's an invisible, magical pen, because no matter how many goats I sacrifice, I cannot conjure up sufficient mojo. [Note to PETA: No goats were harmed in the making of this recap.] Charming comes in and announces that they're all clear outside. When he notices the tension, he asks if everything is okay. No it is not, Charming. It is not. Can you not see Neal's backpfeifengesicht?
In the back room, Rumpy tries to convince Snow that the candle is the only thing that will save him. I half hope that's not true, and that he's also just simply wants Cora dead, and is maybe more than a little invested in tarnishing the Fairest of Them All. Snow points out she wouldn't use the candle to save her own mother, and asks why he thinks she'd use it to save him. Rumpy smirks. "Because you're all grown up now, and for once, our interests are aligned." He knows she wants to kill Cora, so when Snow says there's no coming back from murder, Rumpy points out that there's also no coming back from death, either. "And that's what will happen to your loved ones." When Snow is willing to hypothesize about logistics, Rumpy explains that she doesn't even have to hold the candle over Cora, proper; her heart will do. The biggest challenge will be shoving the cursed heart back into Cora's body, then she will die. Snow says she could also get Cora's heart, control her to make her do the right thing, and let Rumpy die, which would take care of two evils at once. Rumpy always knows which buttons to push and he's not afraid of going for the obvious ones, so he laughs. "I'm just imagining poor Henry's face, when he finds out that you killed his grandpa." Don't get me wrong. I want Snow to be proactive, and I think it's understandable that she will save Gold's life for more than one reason, but it ticks me off that she doesn't point out that she wouldn't be killing Rumpy. Hook already dealt the deadly blow. It's just going to take some time to play out.
None of that matters, as they're interrupted by Emma, who announces she's drawn the line and then asks if Rumpy will cast a protection spell. He says, "No, no. You're going to do that for me." As Emma and Snow look at each other in surprise, Rumpy adds, "I'm relying on you." Snow looks positively stricken when she turns back to him. Commercial.
After the break, we get a little more delightful Espenson dialogue, when Emma tells Rumpy, "I can't cast a spell. I can spell spell." He insists she has it in her though and asks her to try. Emma closes her eyes and puts on her constipation face, so Gold tells her to stop thinking. Magic isn't head work, it's gut. She has to tap into her emotions and ask why she's doing this -- who she is protecting -- and then feel it. Emma turns around, closes her eyes and tries again. The magic flows up over the front door. When we cut back to Emma, it washes over her. Her expression is one of bliss. We flash back to...
Random Kingdom. Tower. Just as Rumpy knows to get Emma to tap into her good desire to protect her loved ones, he knows that Cora will need to tap into her anger at being humiliated. He confesses that he still summons up the memory of the time a soldier made him kiss his boot, as Bae looked on. "I go back and I rip out his throat, and I crunch his veins with my teeth." Strictly speaking, veins are more chewy than crunchy. Um. I hear.
At any rate, after he tells Cora that is how magic is made, he sits behind her. As many have pointed out, when he sits behind her to help her spin, it's evocative of the pottery wheel scene in Ghost, but I can't talk about that because I hate living in a non-magical world where someone as beautiful as Patrick Swayze was taken by the horrific wasting monster that is Pancreatic Cancer. It's mortal and stupid, and makes me think ugly thoughts about who I'd use the Life-for-a-Life candle against to save the Swayze. I don't want to be like that.
Anyhow, it's all sexy fun shoulder-kissing time in the tower, as Cora recounts how the royals made her kneel and apologize to Eva, and how she realized that no matter how good she was or hard she worked, she'd never amount to anything more. Rumpy continues kissing her shoulder and encouraging her to tap into the dark side, by asking what she wants to do to them. Cora: "I want to make them bow. I want their kneecaps to crack and freeze on the stones. I want their necks to break from bending." At that, Rumpy whispers, "Look." When Cora realizes she's succeeded in spinning straw into gold, she says, "I'm going to live." Rumpy whispers all seductively, "You're gonna do much more than that, dearie. Don't stop...until they are on their knees." As he kisses her ear, she coos, "Let's keep going." There's a time cut and then...
Cora spins gold for the king before the court. While Eva looks on in disgust, Henry gets down on one knee and proposes. That poor bastard was nothing but a tool his entire life, huh? Cora looks down at (and on) him and gives her agreement, then her eyes seek out a hooded Rumpy in the crowd. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Gold's Shop. Charming knows something is wrong and asks Snow what Gold said, but Snow lies and only says that he told her Cora is determined to hurt them. When David says, "I won't let that happen. We'll do whatever needs to be done," Snow nods. After a beat she adds, "You're right. You're absolutely right." Just then, the earth quakes. Charming goes into the back room to tell Emma, Neal and Rumpy that the Evil Regals are there.
Outside, Regina and Cora joins hands (and their powers) to create an enormous fireball that they cast at the door. It breaks the protection spell and opens the door. Holding her sword, Emma tries to convince Regina to think about what she's doing. While Regina answers, "Don't talk to me," Snow slips out a door and runs straight into commercial. [Note: Who does she think she is, Rachael Ray? -- Rachel.]
The swords Charming, Emma and Neal are holding aren't going to be much use against these two witches. Regina immediately magics David out the door and onto his poor head. I hope he doesn't get that post-concussive syndrome all the football players suffer from, but if he does, he can sit to Hook at a support group, and I'll just look at all the pretty. Cora magics Emma on her ass. When Neal rushes at Cora with his sword, she turns into a puff of purple smoke and disappears, but the dagger falls to the floor. Why didn't Cora just magic him to the ground, too? I would much rather see Douchepire (as they're calling him on our boards) knocked to the ground than either David or Emma.
Before Emma can get to the dagger, Regina magically throttles her. Cora's reappearance startles her daughter though, so Emma gets a hold of Regina and holds a knife to her neck. As Neal approaches the dagger, Regina calls attention to her predicament, so Neal tells Cora to choose wisely. She magics the dagger into her hand. Emma throws Regina at Cora which knocks them both down. Neal and Emma run for the back room. Emma hastily draws another invisible, magical chalk line and puts up a barrier because um...the first one did so much good?
Turning to Regina, Cora asks her to help her take out Rumpy, but before she can finish, her knees give out. When Regina asks what's wrong, Cora says, "My...my heart. It's with my things in your vault. Someone's there." She orders Regina to go. Alone, Cora approaches the protective barrier and says, "Really, Rumpel. Hiding's beneath you." We flash back to...
Random Kingdom. Cora is wearing her wedding gown and admiring herself when Rumpy appears. He compliments her and then kisses her. She fakes up some outrage about being a married woman, so Rumpy takes out the Exposition Fairy's wand and reminds her that the wedding isn't until tomorrow. Since that's true, Cora is more than happy to suck face. A lot of Rumpel fans seem to be glad that he's getting a little loving, even in his sparkly form, but frankly, it grosses me out. When he says he loves her dress, Cora replies, "Royal brides have to be snow white." I see what you did there, Jane. It's not your fault, of course, but that line would be more effective, were Cora's gown not so off-white that it's approaching coffee with extra cream. Rumpy might be color blind because giggles and then says, "When you see the future, there is irony everywhere."
Cora is less enamored of her good fortune, now that she realizes she's fifth in line to be queen. "That won't happen without an awful lot of bloodshed. And what you give me..." Rumpy insists he can give her nothing but darkness and isolation. Cora adds, "And love." When Rumpy agrees, Cora takes his hand and bends over to tempt him with her ample décolleté as she says she wants that. Touched, Rumpy decides to amend their contract, so that instead of owing him a random first born child, she will owe him his child. Cora agrees and wonders if they can really have a future together. He says they can, if she truly wishes it. Pausing to let the artifice ooze out of her pores, Cora mentions there's just one thing -- she wants to kill the king. "I want to show him his heart before I do it, so he can see it, and know what I'm doing as I crush it." Rumpy smiles. "That is why I love you." Putting her hand over his heart, Cora asks Rumpy to show her. When he agrees to show her everything, Cora says she'll kill Xavier tonight. Closing in, Rumpy whispers that they will seal their promise with a kiss. I watch through my hands as they do. We flash forward to...
On the boards, one of our members thinks that whole call was a set-up in order to manipulate Baelfire. I disagreed at the time, but it still makes no sense to me that Rumpy could die from Hook's poison. I accept that he's wounded and suffering, but it's still extremely curious that he doesn't even try to heal himself, so now I'm inclined to agree with our skeptic, MDKNIGHT who says: kind of knew he wasn't going to die so his deathbed declarations to Belle in front of Bae were for show. I'm not saying I know for a fact it was a sham but I could believe it might have been because he knows parts of the future and because he knew he had dispatched Snow to kill Cora and save himself. He is sooo tricky that I wouldn't put it past him to think- hey if she fails I lose nothing I haven't already lost but if she succeeds (and my future seeing powers tell me she will) then I look awesome in Bae's eyes and improve my standing with Belle if I make this sappy phone call. We know he's manipulated basically every character's every frickin move for hundreds of years so I think that that is what actually happened. In fact, I might be even more cynical, now. I think he not only knew he wasn't going to die and was manipulating Bae and using Snow as an insurance policy. I think he just figured having Snow kill Cora was the easiest way to get back his dagger. I do think Rumpy loves Belle and means what he says to her, but I do not think he's above this entire set up.
And talk about manipulation. Snow is startled when Regina finds her at the vault, but in addition to being the Fairest, Snow may well be the Fastest, at least when it comes to thinking on her feet. Snow presents Regina with Cora's heart and says that without it, Cora is incapable of giving Regina the love she craves. As she waves the bait of real motherly love and the start of a family worthy of Henry, "...Or you could have her be the Dark One. The choice is yours." Commercial.
Enchanted Past. Night. Exterior. Cora and Rumpy meet up under a tree. She's carrying the heart box with her, and as soon as Rumpy kisses her, he knows something isn't right. He thinks she failed to get the king's heart but she corrects him. She chose not to. She apologizes, but tells Rumpy she won't be going with him. She will marry Prince Putupon. It's not Xavier's heart in the box, but her own. "I had to. You told me not to let anything stop me until they're on their knees. My heart was stopping me." Rumpy's face sinks as he says she never loved him. He tosses out threats, including the fact that he'll take her baby, but she reminds him he amended the contract. "You only get your own child. And any baby I have -- it won't be yours." Now I'm sorry, but if the Brothers Grimm were writing this, I'm pretty sure he'd rape her right then. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Gold's shop. Cora looks down at the dagger and watches the letters disappear, then redoubles her efforts at breaking the protective barrier. We cut to the...
Cemetery. Time for a little more self-plagiarism. David finds Snow outside the vault she's clutching her head in her hands. Telling David he was right, she says, "This isn't me." Oh, Snow. No it isn't. "The Miller's Daughter" is full of strong acting, but Ginnifer Goodwin's performance in this small scene just blows me away. We cut to...
Gold's shop. Cora breaks the barrier, and magics Neal and Emma into the woods. Once Cora and Gold are alone, he wants to know if she ever loved him. Cora says that's why she had to rip out her own heart. "You were my weakness." She strokes his face as she says he's the only man she ever truly loved." Rising, she raises the dagger in the air, but before she can strike, Regina shoves Cora's heart back in her chest. When she drops the dagger, Rumpy looks instantly healthier. It's the change in Cora that is most astonishing, though. She glows. With her eyes bright, she looks at Regina for the first time, through the eyes of love. We flash back to...
Random Kingdom. King Xavier tells Cora to announce the baby's name. As impudent as ever, Cora, fifth in line to the throne, holds her girl child before the people. "Her name is Regina, for one day she will be Queen." Okay, is it just me, or does the flooring look like it's been repurposed from an old dock? We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Gold's Shop. Regina is bursting with joy as she finally faces a mother who loves her, but her happiness is short lived. As Cora falters, Rumpy rips oven his chest and sees his wound is gone. Regina cradles Cora and asks her what is wrong. Cora's dying words are, "This...would have been enough. You...you would have been enough." Regina begs her mother not to leave her, but it's too late. When Rumpy says, "Your mother did you no favors," Regina shouts at him to shut up. "You stole her life. You cast some spell." Rumpy says he did nothing. No longer the Fastest, Snow rushes in the back room, yelling, "REGINA! STOP!" When she takes in the scene before her, Snow is horrified by what's she's done. Regina looks up at her and hisses, "You did this." Dun dun dun!
I will be back with coverage of "Welcome To Storybrooke," for which I am ridiculously excited. Seriously. I have to calm down or I'm bound to be disappointed. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we promise we won't post in invisible magic chalk.