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Welcome back. The mini-hiatus was delay enough, so let's get right to it. "Tiny" is one of those episodes in which nothing big happens, yet every little thing seems hugely important. Before traveling to the Storybrooke realm, Cora shrunk Anton "Tiny" the Giant (Jorge Garcia) and stowed him on Hook's ship. When last we saw Anton, he was living alone in his post-apocalyptic CGIsland. In flashbacks to his realm, we learn that, once upon a time, Prince James had an affair with Jacqueline "Jack" the Giant Killer (Cassidy Freeman). As those of us who have been paying attention know, Prince James is neither charming nor Charming. He is the twin who was raised by the evil King George Charles Widmore.
In the enchanted past, Anton, the runt in a litter of more gigantic giants, is tired of being picked on by his brothers and dubious of their anti-human bigotry, so he descends the beanstalk. When money-grubbing King George learns of this, he dispatches James and Jack to befriend Anton. The plan is for James and Jack to manipulate Anton into taking them to CGIsland, so they can raid the treasure room and steal some magic beans, which go for a pretty penny on the L'enchantement black magic market. Jack gives Anton a magic mushroom (which she probably got in Wonderland). It shrinks Anton to a more workable size and mercifully cuts down on use of green screen. Anyhow, George's evil plan plays out fairly well for Team Evil. Jack manages to kill all of the giants (save Anton, who is dispatched to destroy the bean crop) before she is dealt a mortal blow. James leaves her to die on CGIsland, and absconds with a bag full of treasure.
Storybrooke Present: Before leaving L'enchantement for Storybrooke, Cora again shrunk Anton and then caged him on the ship. Hook brings Snow and Charming to the ship and shows them Anton. When Snow releases the not so giant Giant, he mistakes Charming for James and attacks him. Fortunately, Snow is armed with her trusty bow and arrows, so she saves her prince, for the nonce. Anton runs off.
Regina, it seems, has taken the first exit off the road to redemption and is doing her mother's bidding. She finds Anton, tells him she is no fan of the prince either, and gives him a magic mushroom which temporarily restores him to his original size. During his vengeance quest, Anton terrorizes Storybrooke until Charming (whose real, given name is David -- more on that in the recap) offers to surrender, provided Anton will let the rest of Storybrooke live in peace. Anton accepts the deal and charges toward David, which is a bad idea. Because of his size, the ground beneath his feet gives way and he falls right through.
Since Storybrooke straddles the divide between L'enchantment and our world, its residents are subject to both fairy tale magic and Murphy's Law, so while Anton is stuck in a hole of his own making (been there, buddy), he reverts to human size. David and the gang save and befriend Anton. While they're at Granny's Diner, talk turns to their inability to return to L'enchantement. It is then that Anton reveals he saved a clipping from a magic beanstalk. Cora brought him to Storybrooke so that he could plant it, in hopes of growing more magic beans. Although the white hats are disinclined to further Cora's plan, they still think it's a good idea to grow some magic beans. Grumpy and the other dwarfs (except amnesiac Sneezy) welcome Anton into their fold. They help him till the earth and plant his seedling, and will help him guard his precious crop. (No, I don't know why it takes seven guys with pickaxes to dig one hole for one tiny plant. Just go with it.) Grumpy hands the not so giant Giant a pickaxe, and the name Tiny appears on its handle. When Anton confesses that was his brothers' nickname for him, Grumpy smiles and says the axe never lies. Can we just make Jorge a regular now please, Show? Just seeing his face makes me almost as happy as Happy.
Meanwhile, Rumpy, Emma and Henry set out for New York. Still a coward at heart, Rumpy is terrified of the outside world. His fear only grows when he realizes that outside of Storybrooke, he is unable to wield magic. His reaction to having to remove his shoes in the airport is a highlight of the episode, as is hearing the flight attendant welcome the passengers to Ajira Air Other high points include having David's original name confirmed and Grumpy's reaction to this news. Our favorite crank even takes one for the audience as he tries to suss it all out.
In other news, Red tries to reach out to Belle, who is still freaked out about being magically healed by a strange man who wields fireballs. Gregor Mendel overhears her, and later visits her hospital room and tells her he knows she's not crazy because he saw the same thing. Dun dun dun!
I'll be back with the full recap later this week. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where no one touches our crop.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Welcome back, Princes and Princesses. Let's get right to it. We open in Storybrooke. Gold (I don't feel like calling him "Rumpy" this week) uses his cane to tap on Snow's door. Emma answers. She's bundled up in a scarf made of way more fabric than was used to make her jeans, and ready to search for Gold's son, Baelfire, who just has to be Neal, right? Gold is less than receptive to Henry tagging along on the trip, but since Cora is in town, Emma refuses to leave the boy behind. When Charming talks to Gold about Emma and Henry, Gold laughs off what he expects is a coming lame threat. He's startled and touched when Charming clarifies; he's not making a threat, but rather a loving father's heartfelt request. Gold promises no harm will come to Charming's family. "After all, we have a deal." Since Rumpy's claim to fame is being picky about the wording of a deal, I'm a little surprised he's invoking their "non-interference" agreement, but that's just me.
We cut to Gold, Emma and Henry. They're on the road out of Storybrooke and off to Boston's Logan International Airport. I should try to meet them for tea or something. I'll let you know how that works out. I don't expect it'll be all fun and games because someone has to give these two chuckleheads the business about child safety. Notice they have their seat belts on, but little Henry is just leaning over the seat as he talks their ears off, like it's 1975 or something. Sheeesh. Safety first, you lunatics. Emma wonders if the shawl will keep Gold from losing his memory when the cross the town line. Gold says, "Well, if it doesn't, and I revert to my cursed-self, we're all going to have some problems." Really? Of what kind? Once upon a time, he was the Dark One -- the most powerful being in all the realms. Today, he's a limping, miserly landlord. Run away run away! Anyhow, the shawl works, which we know because of the magic that washes over Gold and which Emma and Henry know because he says, "My name is Rumple[sic]skin. And we're going to find my son." Title card.
When Snow and Charming are on their way out to join the dwarfs on Cora watch, they find Regina just about to knock on their door. Regina starts to explain that she didn't kill Archie, but the two idiots interrupt her and tell her Archie isn't dead, and she was framed. Regina feigns shock upon hearing the news that Cora is in town. When Snow apologizes for falling for the frame-job, Regina accepts it and then says if Cora is in town, she needs to protect Henry. Upon learning Emma has taken Henry out of town with Gold, she's a little put off that no one told her. Snow: "We didn't know where you were, and to be honest, Regina, I don't think Emma has to run anything by you." Regina sneers. "No, I suppose she doesn't." Once she's gone, Snow grabs her bow and quiver and she and Charming head out.
Cut to the docks. I think Hook is hoping to take Sneezy's place among the dwarfs, and judging by the innuendo-laden ooze he's spreading in Snow's direction, he's bucking for the name Sleazy. He leads Grumpy, Snow and Charming aboard his still cloaked ship, but warns that Cora won't be there. Charming still wants a look to see if they can find anything that will lead them to the Mother of All Evil. Once aboard, Grumpy asks if the ship could sail back to their land. Hook says that although it's made from enchanted wood, the ship needs a portal to travel between lands. He then leads them to some cargo and says while he doesn't know Cora's plans, her weapon of choice is right there. When they pull off the tarp, they find the currently not so giant Giant asleep in a cage. We'll learn his name is Anton and his nickname is Tiny, but it's quite likely I'll slip and call him either Hurley or Hugo, so I'll apologize in advance. It isn't really even in advance because when I started typing that last sentence, I wrote, "We'll learn his name is Hurley..." See what I mean? We flash back to...
CGIsland. With the bell ringing, Anton rushes to the dining room, where his brothers are waiting for him. The eldest is Olaf the Troll god my ass (or Jerry, if you're boring). Olaf has a name here -- Arlo, but I'm calling him Olaf, because he and his other jerk-faced brothers keep calling Anton Tiny and it's hurting his feelings. I started out annoyed because as far as I'd noticed, not one of these giants is named Andre. I was feeling all, "Oh sure, we can name Henry's father after Jack Kerouac's male partner in a Devil's three-way, but we can't name a giant Andre?" Then I watched the rest of the episode. So, dear reader, you can read my complaint and mea culpa, in the very same paragraph. Sorry, Show.
Olaf waxes philosophical about their upcoming bean harvest and the value of work and giants and blah blee bloo. His toast is cut short when a golden harp falls out of Anton's cloak. This leads to a lot of exposition from Olaf about how humans are evil and should be stopped. He might be right. Anton's not so closed minded though as Olaf and I, so he points out that just because they met some greedy, violent, awful humans doesn't mean the whole race is the same. I admire your character, Anton, but mostly, humans suck. Anton also doesn't understand why they continue to raise magical beans if they don't do anything with them. Olaf's all, "It's what we do." According to him, it is the labor that makes them who they are -- not the fruit it yields. Another jerk-faced brother picks up the golden harp and crushes it in his gigantic hand, just to be mean. Olaf tries to sow peace, but Anton has had it. He rushes outside and descends the beanstalk.
Sidebar. That was a pretty shot of from up above in CGIsland to the clouds below, but it makes me wonder about climbing logistics. There's a fair bit of distance from the edge of the opening to the beanstalk which grows up through the opening's center. Okay, maybe giant could leap from the edge to the stalk. Heck, maybe even a human could, but how do humans get off the beanstalk and onto the floor in CGIsland? Emma and Hook did, and by later in this episode, so will others. It makes no sense. But okay, let's accept that they can climb the beanstalk and get off at CGIsland. If the giants hate humans so much, why haven't they cut down the stalk (or poisoned it, or something) and sealed up the hole? It can't be that they need the beanstalk to get to L'enchantement, because they have a monopoly on the world's supply of magic beans. All right, letting go now.
Storybrooke. Hook's ship. Hook continues to sleaze in Snow's general direction, even as he pleads ignorance about Cora's plan for the not currently giant Anton. When Charming gets tough with Hook, he doesn't change his story, but he does hand over a key to the cage and suggests that they wake Anton and find out for themselves. Snow wakes him gently, but Anton is still alarmed. When he asks where the witch is, Snow says they don't know. It's then that he notices he's been downsized. When Anton panics about being small, Charming tries to lead him off the ship. That's when the fun begins. Anton says, "You. YOU!" And punches Charming in the face. The force sends our fair prince flying. When Grumpy tries to intervene, he gets the same treatment. Charming pulls a gun, but Anton knocks it out of his hand. He's about to do in Charming, when Snow fires a warning arrow and orders Anton away from her husband. Knowing he's outnumbered, Anton flees, but only after threatening Charming that he'll pay for his evil. Speaking of paying for evil, it's time for a commercial break.
Hospital. Red finds Belle hanging in the patient lounge. She still doesn't remember anyone or anything. Red introduces herself as Ruby, just to trip me up, and tells Belle how she used to visit the diner; they were friends. Ruby remembers Belle talking a lot about Jules Verne, so Ruby gives her her own favorite Verne work The Mysterious Island. Since Ruby says they were friends, Belle wants the truth about what she saw on the night of the accident. She tells Ruby that a man healed her, and then she saw him hold a fire ball in his hand. Ruby tries to placate her with talk of tranquilizer induced nightmares, but Belle knows what she saw. Agitated, she rises to her feet and she cries that she doesn't want any more tranquilizers. When Ruby calls her "Belle," Belle freaks out about everyone calling her that. Just then, Nurse Ratched appears and injects Belle. Gregor Mendel has been lurking. He asks Ruby if everything is okay. Ruby flashes a bright fake grin and insists everything is fine and asks Mendel how he is. When he says he's improving, Ruby says, "Well, rest up. The sooner you're better, the sooner you can be out of our quiet little town." Oh my word, she's as bad as Emma is at not acting suspicious. We cut to...
Granny's Diner. Snow and Grumpy wonder why the giant is after David. David can't figure it out at first, but then he realizes this is a case of mistaken identity. We flash back to...
The Enchanted Past. Prince James is having some sexy fun time with a young woman (Cassidy Freeman), when King George Charles Widmore barges right in. To be fair, it doesn't look like James shut the door. In fact, he might not even have a door. Neither James nor his companion is a bit embarrassed by the intrusion, so I don't know why I'm fussing about doors and such. At any rate, there's trouble afoot. Widmore says, "There's a giant running amuck." I need to incorporate afoot and amuck into my everyday vocabulary. The woman would love a chance to battle a giant, but Widmore says they can't kill him yet, as he may be of use to them. All right, I'll address the elephant in the room. There's no elephant. But yes, Josh Dallas is leaning against a window with his shirt hanging open. It's cheesecake shot to be sure, but it's just a little too cheesy and not cake-y enough for me. Besides, I'm still so scared of Charles Widmore, I dare not ogle his son. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. Snow and David talk about how Anton must have confused David for James. David tells Grumpy to get his head looked at (he was hurt during the giant altercation) and then gather the dwarfs. They need to keep an eye out for the giant. We flash back to...
L'enchantement. Pub. Talk about keeping an eye out. Anton is outside the pub. From inside, all you can see is his giant eye. Lost often opened on a character's eye. Frequently it was Jack's, but not always. I wonder if they ever opened on Hurley's eye. Anyhow, after peeking in on all the fun, Anton mopes away because he's too big to even enter the pub. James, who is with his lady friend, calls out to Anton and introduces himself. They'd be happy to show him around, but his size is problematic. Anton pouts that back home he's too small, and here he's too large. The woman smiles broadly and offers him a magic mushroom from a far off land. She once slayed a Jabberwock and was given it by a wise woman (read: witch; read: Cora) in lieu of payment. Why does my spellcheck not recognize slayed? It's a word. I've spelled it correctly. Plus, I am pretty sure I still type about Buffy on a daily basis. This has me all discombobulated. Let's start a fresh paragraph.
The woman offers Anton a magic mushroom, but it looks more like a white sponge with a blue scrubby side. Don't eat it, Anton. It doesn't look like a mushroom. It could be slithy toves, for all we know. He doesn't listen. He's too busy looking down the woman's shirt. Hey, he can't help it. It's a side-effect of his height. He's also listening to her promise that the mushroom will temporarily change his size. Somewhere in there, the woman introduces herself as Jacqueline, then adds: "But... most people call me 'Jack'." Oh no! If she hurts Hurley, I will kill her. I've done it before. Okay, I've recapped her death before. Well not Jack's, but Sage (also played by Cassidy Freeman) and I'll do it again. Commercial. Oh, now there's an ad for Jack the Giant Slayer. I wonder if the script writer's spellcheck accepts "slayed." There's a time and place for "slew" but I was quoting Jack, so it's not like I had any choice, Mr. Spellcheck.
Logan Airport. Henry gets chatty with Mr. Gold again, as they're waiting to be screened. This grandpa isn't nearly as indulgent as Charming and just wants the boy to shut up and leave him alone. When Henry says, "It must be hard not using magic -- being like everyone else," it gets to Gold. When Emma tells Gold he has to take off his shoes, his sneer gives catharsis to an entire nation. "How terribly uncivilized." He panics when the TSA Agents tells him to put his scarf and cane in the basket. Turning to Emma, Gold says, "I can't." When Emma tells him he has to, the passenger behind them grows impatient with the delay. "It ain't rocket science, buddy. Ever been on a plane, before?" Gold shakes his cane at the man. "Have you ever been impaled on a cane, before?" It's good for Gold's sake that the TSA agents are not worried about threats of violence, but it makes me less than eager to fly again. Emma grabs Gold, then turns to the other man. "My father's a little nervous. We're headed to a family reunion. Sorry." Gold winces at that. "Your father?" Emma hushes him and tells him to take off his shawl. Gold is afraid if he lets go of the enchanted rag he'll forget who he is. Emma says, "I'm not going to let that happen," and Gold takes her at her word because it's in the script. And what do you know? While he appears a little out of it and loses his balance, Emma helps him through. She puts the shawl back over his shoulders and hands him his cane. Breathing a sigh of relief, Gold nods to let her know he's okay. Meanwhile, Henry takes off for the Cinnabon stand (which could be problematic, as there is no Cinnabon at Logan). We cut back to...
Storybrooke. Sometimes, I'm really glad I recap because when I first watched this scene, I couldn't figure out what Hook was doing, but now I get it. Our swashbuckler is in an alleyway near the water. He lays a Queen of Hearts card on the ground and waits. Seriously, I was ready to bust out our Peter Pan VHS and see if Hook lures the Lost Boys with playing cards, but recapping forced me to look at the card and notice that it is the Queen of Hearts. Clearly, he's summoning Cora, or trying to, but he won't have much luck because Barbara Hershey isn't even in this episode. He gets the worst thing though -- Regina. He reports the giant is free and that he wants to murder Charming. Regina nearly purrs with delight. "This is exactly the distraction we need." We flash back to...
L'enchantement Pub. Anton reads Jack and James a litany of his brothers' sins. James says sometimes you have to leave home to find your real family. Jack butters him up as well. When James leaves the table, Anton tells Jack his brothers are so wrong about humans. When Anton hears James arguing with a man across the bar, Jack says that the kingdom is broke and deeply in debt to a neighboring kingdom. If anyone utters "fiscal cliff" or "sequester," I'm ending the recap without notice. Do you hear me, Show? If James can't payback what is owed, the neighboring kingdom will invade, plunder and burn the kingdom to the ground. Jack mentions that magic beans bring a pretty price in their world and asks Anton if he has any back home. He lies that he doesn't, but says he does have enough treasure to pay off the debt. "If I'm going to stay here for good, I might as well make sure it's a nice kingdom and not burned to the ground." Jack kisses his cheek and proclaims Anton a hero. I can't wait to kill her off. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Regina finds Anton in a secluded location. When he warns her to stay away or he'll kill her, she just laughs. She knows he wants to kill the Prince and would be glad to help. She holds out another white and blue scrubby sponge and says it will temporarily return Anton to his original size. Anton takes it and eats it. Blue magical smoke appears. We watch as Regina looks up and yells at Anton to get to work, since the mushroom won't last forever. We cut to...
Logan Airport. As Henry and Emma wait patiently, Gold paces. When Emma tries to talk to him, he loses his temper then heads off to the bathroom. Gold, I know you're new here, but aside from providing physical relief, never in the history of our world has a visit to an airport bathroom improved the mood. To prove my point, he enters a handicapped stall and punches the daylights out of the seat cover dispenser. Looking down at his hand, Gold sees that his knuckles are bleeding and tries to magically heal them, but his magic doesn't work there. Chin up, it's understandable. The frustration of finding your way to the right parking lot and terminal dampens everyone's mojo. Henry pokes his head in the men's room and warns that they're boarding soon. When the boy asks, "Are you coming?" Gold doesn't answer. Commercial.
Enchanted Past. CGIsland. While Anton is raiding the treasure room to help his friends, Olaf finds him and asks where he's been. He's alarmed when Anton says he went to the human world, but Anton insists he met friends there. Oh, the poor noodle. What is it about Jorge Garcia that he imbues his characters with so much vulnerability and likability. Talent, you say? Okay, my question was stupid. I'll get back to the story. When Anton talks about his friends who really like him and that he's planning on returning for good, Olaf tries to talk some sense into little brother. Anton won't listen, but he and Olaf cannot ignore the sentry birds that signals interlopers have breached CGIsland. As Olaf chides Anton for telling the humans he was coming there and showing them the beanstalk, we flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Anton is tearing up the town with such gusto that somewhere, the Chintz Monster is burying his head under a ream of scattered papers and drowning in shame. Snow and Charming get their first look at Anton and order the townsfolk to take refuge in town hall. Charming goes after Anton and explains that he didn't hurt Anton. It was his twin brother, James, from whom he was separated at birth. While Snow hangs back and looks on, she is joined by Grumpy. Anton wants to know where James is, so Charming explains he died. Snow runs up and says they're on his side. "We're good. We're here because of you. You know our daughter, Emma. You gave her the magic compass." Anton asks to talk to Emma. "If she says you're okay, then I'll stop." He's doesn't believe Snow when she says Emma is out of town, because in his eyes, all humans do is lie, cheat and kill and he is sick of it. I feel ya, brother. We flash back to...
Enchanted Past. CGIsland. Olaf and Anton are outside when Jack and James climb up the beanstalk and make the impossible trip to solid ground. When Olaf is ready to attack them, Anton stops and says they're his friends. Turning to Jack and James, he shows them the sack of treasure he's gathered for them. James, in his best evil twin manner, says they're not there for treasure. They're there for the beans -- all of them. Poor Anton is all, "But...you're my friends..." Drawing her sword, Jack smirks as she approaches her prey. "No, we're not." Can we get to the part where she dies, now? She demands to be taken to the beans. Olaf refuses. James draws his sword and says a fight they shall have. Bastard. No wonder your parents sold you to Rumpy. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Look, I hate the CGI effects too, but I'm not in the mood to harp on them, so I'm leaving it up to you. As Grumpy, Charming and Snow are running from Anton, Grumpy says, "So let me get this straight. You've got a twin brother?" Charming: "Yeah." Grumpy: "Whose name is James?" Charming: "Right." Grumpy: "Well, your name is James." Charming: "No, actually, it's not." Grumpy: "It's Charming then?" Snow: "No, that's the nickname I gave him." They look back as Anton gets tangled up in the electrical wires. Grumpy continues: "Hey, hold on. What the hell is your name?" Charming: "David." Grumpy: "Your curse name?" Charming: "My real name." Grumpy: "What? You're David, James, and Charming? Is David like a middle name?" Charming: "No. It's my name name." The trio is running this whole time. Grumpy's voice grows louder. "You know what? I'll call you whatever I damn well please. Is that okay?" Charming: "Sure, Leroy." Hee. That is every fandom conversation about this ever and possibly a little bit of writers' room discussion near the end. I love it so.
Anyhow, they run to the water front. When Anton catches up, David offers to surrender himself, provided Anton spares everyone in the town. When Snow begs David not to do this, he is his gallant self and says he can't allow the whole town to suffer. Anton accepts the deal, but when he charges toward David, his steps are so heavy he breaks through the ground. Just then, the magic mushroom wears off. When Snow, Charming, and Grumpy look down in the hole, they see human-sized Anton hanging onto a broken pipe for dear life. Commercial.
Enchanted Past. CGIsland. As Anton runs through the palace, he sees fireball. Olaf finds him and reports that human armies have overrun their land. Abraham (who was probably the worst jerk-face in the early scenes) and Andre have fallen to the humans' poisoned swords, and I scroll back and write my mea culpa, but you'll never miss me because thanks to the magic of the internet, I can be in both paragraphs at once. Now I'm feeling bad that I called Arlo Olaf all recap long because the writers went to the trouble of naming all their giants with A names. I wonder if perhaps there's a Bay Bridge rivalry in the writers' room.
When Anton blames himself, it breaks my heart. Olaf tells him it is his job to save the beans and prevent the humans from bringing their violence to every realm. It's like he can see the drones coming, huh? Right now, to fulfill his birthright, Anton must destroy the beans to protect them. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. The rest of the dwarfs, save Sneezy, arrive at the scene. They rig a rope to the trailer hitch on David's truck. Snow tells David that most people would let the giant die after what he's done. David smiles at his bride. "You wouldn't." With that, he climbs down. I don't really see the point of that because while Anton is now human sized, I don't think David can give him a piggy back out of there. Anton is going to have to climb the rope on his own. I guess we just need Charming to be extra heroic this week. He's probably still trying to purge the stench of David Nolan off himself.
When Charming descends the rope, he tells Anton to take his hand. Anton and I yell, "No," at the same time. I yell because while I want Anton saved, I'm a little worried that he'll dislocate Charming's shoulder. Thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, my oldest son has three titanium screws in his shoulder, so I'm always a little skittish about shoulder injury. Anton yells, "No," because he just wants to die. "I don't want to go back up there. I should just let go. [...] Maybe death hurts less than life." David says if Anton truly wanted to die, he would have already let go, then orders him to take his hand. I don't get the logistics of this rescue any more than I get the logistics of humans getting off the top of the beanstalk, but whatever. The important thing is Anton is saved. He looks up at all the White Hats surrounding him and says, "You saved my life." Snow says, "That's what we do." Nice echo to Arlo's words, Show. Very nice. Perhaps Anton has finally found a family, at long last. Can we keep him, please? We flash back to the...
Enchanted Past. CGIsland. As Jack battles with Olaf, James loots the treasure. Although Jack manages to stab Olaf with her poisonous blade, he picks her up and returns the favor. When she cries out to James, he temporarily stops looting, but does nothing to save his lover. After Olaf drops Jack, he too falls to the floor. Anton runs in and rushes to his side. James grabs a little more booty and starts out with nary a thought to his booty call. When Jack begs for his help, James says, "I'm sorry, Jack. I have a kingdom to run. I'm sure you understand." Anton and Jack watch as he runs away. I yell, "Die, Jack. Die." She obliges, allowing me to kill her twice (after a fashion, anyhow).
Returning his attention to his dying brother, Anton reports that all the beans are destroyed. With his last breath, Olaf says, "I know your path is hard. Someday, you will know which road to choose. When you do, you will need this." He takes out a glass vial and explains it contains, "A preserved cutting from the stalk. Plant it. New beans will grow." Anton: "You had me salt the land. Nothing will grow here." Olaf: "Then someday, you will find new land." Anton asks how, but it's too late, Olaf is dead. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. Grumpy tells him about the food and the boarding house, but Anton thinks he should camp in the woods as he isn't too good at fitting in. Grumpy pooh poohs this. "Storybrooke's got all kinds. Dwarfs. Fairies. You name it." There's nostalgic talk about their old land, but Snow says it's not possible to return. It's then that Anton asks how the farm land is there. When David says it's good, Anton pulls out the clipping and says he can plant it and provide them with a bean that just might get them home. Aw. Commercial.
Out in a field, Anton confirms the soil is good. He says there's just one problem: Cora wants him to grow the beans. "That can't be good." Snow says, "Then we won't let her get to them." Pickaxe over his shoulder, Grumpy looks up at Anton and says, "No one touches our crop." When Anton says, "Your crop..." I expect him to get offended at how quickly the Storybrookers have decided his crop is theirs, but he's too much of a love bug to do that. Finishing his sentence after my rude interruption, Anton says, "I thought you guys were miners." Grumpy says, "Work is work. It's what we do." Hey, we already had that echo. What is this, an old Budweiser ad?
When Anton accepts the dwarfs' offer of help, Grumpy calls out to Happy, who presents their newest coworker with his own pickaxe. The handle is blank until Anton takes it in hand. Then the name Tiny appears. With tears in his eyes, Anton's chuckle is soft. "My brothers used to call me that." Grumpy looks his new brother in the eyes. "The axe never lies." Charming's all, "Wait a second! I did my time in the mines. How come I didn't get one of those?" Grumpy laughs, "Because you ain't a dwarf." Sorry, Hook. Looks like Tiny is filling Sneezy's slot. Buck up though, mate. Maybe one day they will want replace Stealthy, so there could still be a chance for you, Sleazy. Grumpy ignores me and pats Anton on the back. "Welcome aboard, brother." The brothers start whistling "Heigh Ho," as they dig into the ground. No, I don't know why it takes seven of them to plant one tiny clipping, but you have to admit the beanstalk does get pretty big. We cut to...
Hospital. Belle's room. Belle (in her yellow johnny) is surprised when Gregor Mendel enters her room because who wouldn't be. He apologizes for bothering her and explains he was the one driving the car the night of the accident. After a little small talk, he sits on her bed and says he overheard her talking about seeing a man wielding a ball of fire. Belle's laugh is bitter. "You think I'm crazy too, but I did see it, actually." Gregor Mendel interrupts her. "Hey, I know that you're not crazy. [...] 'Cause I saw it, too." Dun dun dun! We cut to...
Granny's Diner. Exterior. Night. Charming hands Snow a coffee and they toast to not getting squashed by a giant. As they head toward his truck, Charming wonders if he would have ended up as corrupt as James, had George raised him. "The same blood ran through our veins." Snow says, "Um hm, but your hearts are different." She confesses that she had a lot of fun today. "I missed our adventures." Charming agrees. As he opens the truck door and Snow climbs in he says, "You know we could do this all the time. When the beans grow, we could go back. Everyone could go home." When Snow says she doesn't know, Charming is frustrated. "What don't you know?" Snow says, "Home is where our family is. And that's here. I don't know if Emma would come with us, and I am not going to be separated from her, again." Except for right now, apparently. Charming says, "You're worried about her." Snow certain is and asks, "Aren't you?" Charming: "Of course, but Emma -- Emma can take care of herself. I'm sure, wherever she and Henry are, they're safe." We cut to...
Logan Airport. Ajira Air flight 53. Henry has the window seat. Emma is the sandwich filling, and Gold has the aisle. When Mom asks her boy if he's good, he says, "Are you kidding? A trip with you. First plane ride. And we're going on a quest, like in the book. The only thing that could make this day better..." He gestures to the box full of cinnamon rolls in his hands and adds, "...Is more frosting." Gold looks like he could use some frosting, too. He is a study in tension. Emma notices the bloody brown paper towel wrapped around his knuckles and then looks at his face. "It's going to be all right. We're going to find your son." Gold says, "I know." The flight attendant's voice comes over the P.A. and she announces that their destination is New York City. The Lost fans smile not only at the "Ajira" mention, but also that the flight time lasts 42 minutes. No longer imbued with the power of the Dark One, Gold's eyes fill with terror, and I don't even think he watched Lost. He's once again, the coward of the county, off to find the son for whom he wrought so much havoc. The son who pled with him to abandon his evil ways. The son he let slip away.
"Tiny" is a set-up episode, but it overflows with all of the feeling that has me madly in love with this show: love, fear, envy, distrust, betrayal. It's about how family (natural and chosen) and friends are all we have, and when we have them, what else do we need? Okay, maybe some more frosting.
I'll be back on Monday morning with the "Manhattan" recaplet. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where there's a giant afoot and we're running amuck.
See the biggest questions for Season 2 and check out the Downton Abbey cast reimagined as OUAT-style fairy tale characters from our friends at Wetpaint.