Okay, so this is it: the last episode. Ever. Grab your carton of Kleenex, take a deep breath, and let's see if we can't get through this without straining a lung.
We open at Rick's office, where Sam, Rick, and a female reporter are overlooking a model of The Dreiser. The reporter holds out a tape recorder and asks what their inspiration was. Rick says, "Preservation," while Sam says, "Money." Shut up, Sam. I didn't even enjoy that, knowing it may be the last time I get to say it. Rick repeats, "Preservation, and the desire to do something different, and...uh..." Sam jumps in with "Ultimately preserving the past." "And this wonderful structure, so you know you could call it...preservation through innovation," Rick adds. Colin wanders on-screen, savoring Rick's clever turn of BS. He tells the reporter that he likes it, and that she should use it for the title of her article. He licks his lips and smirks, "Now, go write it so I can get even more famous." He's almost as obnoxious as his electric blue shirt. The reporter takes her cue and shakes Sam's and Rick's hands, saying that the project truly is impressive, and teasingly adds, "In spite of your boss." "Okay, that's how the press treats me," Colin says sardonically. He calls out to the reporter, Sophia, to boast that Sam and Rick are building ten more hotels for him. He walks toward her, chest puffed, saying that the first hotel will be in Sydney, Australia. Rick and Sam exchange a look, to let us know this is the first they've heard of it. Colin slings an arm over Sophia's shoulder, and explains that, unlike the Dreiser, the Australian hotel will be built from the ground up. She schmoozes that she looks forward to visiting them in Australia year. Colin scoops up her hand to plant an oily kiss, and says, "Well, then, you write something incisive, and we'll see." She heads out.
Colin snaps his fingers at Sam and Rick, telling them they did very well. Still gaping, the two of them ask him what that was all about, and whether he's serious about the hotel in Australia. Nonchalantly, he says he's offering them a job: "What, you got something else lined up? Or maybe you don't want to build a world-class hotel. Maybe what you'd rather do is build parking garages and nursing homes." Ouch. He strides for the door, barking at his assistant, "I had a coat!" He turns back to Rick and Sam and tells them to let him know by Friday, because he wants them "to be at that cocktail party." He jabs a finger at them and sharply asks, "You're going to be there, right?" How could they possibly say no? "Yes, Colin. Bye, Colin," Sam answers like a good little robot. And then Colin is gone. Recovering, Sam and Rick turn to each other. Rick gapes, "Was he serious? Ten hotels?" Sam claps him on the shoulder and says, "Pack your bags, my friend."
When we return from commercials, we join Karen and Henry in a physical-therapy center. Karen, decked out in sweats, is limping along a contraption and clinging to its handrails. She winces and shudders with each step, while Henry eggs her on with shots like, "Oh, come on! That doesn't hurt!" Karen rolls her eyes and mocks that he's mean. He retorts that she loves every minute of it. Karen bites her tongue, because she does, in fact, love every minute of it. Henry asks how work is going, and Karen sighs, "I don't think I have it in me anymore to take on the world's complaints." Henry says he thought she "loved serving the public's interests." She says that, somewhere in the midst of it, she forgot her own interests. Henry tells her that it's common for people in her "situation" to reevaluate their lives. "So, what? You think I should become a dancer?" Karen quips. Huh. Looks like she left the ass-pole back in traction. Henry gives her a "woman, please" look and asks her to swing around, since she's reached the end of the apparatus. He says he has something for her, and heads off to get it. Before he goes, though, he teases, "Now, don't you run off on me." He wiggles his fingers like they're little running legs. Karen chuckles weakly at the lame joke.
Henry returns with an exuberant, "It's Mr. Cane!" Which, actually, was the name of one of my Phys. Ed. teachers. He was a man who fancied jumping jacks and clingy, cotton-jersey pants, but wasn't so fond of support. So, you know, ew. Luckily, the Mr. Cane to which Henry's referring is the non-traumatizing metal-and-rubber variety. He waves the cane, trying to tantalize her with it. Karen's sarcastically enthusiastic, saying, "Great. Maybe I should get some orthopedic shoes to go with this!" Henry warns, "Careful, 'cause I've got a thing for orthopedic shoes." Yeah, I'll bet. Henry suggests that she take the cane for a spin. "And try not to fall on your face?" he adds. Does that mean Karen did fall on her face? And why in the hell didn't we get to see it? Karen shoots him a look of mock hatred, and he says, "You think I'm mean, but I'm actually very warm and fuzzy." Karen looks dubious. Henry rhymes off the evidence: he calls his mother once a week, he cries at sappy movies, and he even coaches a Little League team. Karen facetiously says she's totally misjudged him, then. He laughs and says, "At least you've acknowledged it." Karen falters a bit on the apparatus, and Henry quickly steadies her. She focuses on turning around with the cane, while Henry hovers with his arms ready to catch her. "So, you coach Little League, and you don't have a kid of your own, huh?" she gasps. Henry grows serious for a second, and suggests that she come and watch a game sometime. Hesitantly, Karen says maybe she will. She takes a couple more baby steps, and stops just in front of Henry. He looks at her closely and says, "See? You've made it." Oh, the depths of meaning! His eyes travel over her face, studying it intently. She gets where he's heading, and her eyes become guarded. "Yeah," she says, sounding uncertain. Looks like the ass-pole's thrown off the bandages.
Cut to the radio station, where Lily's stuffing folders into her attaché case. She's sporting a suit, and her hair looks very polished, so she's obviously trying to impress someone. I'm impressed. Les flounders around in the background, asking anxiously if there's anything he needs to bring. Calmly, she says she has everything they need. Les paces up to Lily's desk and asks her where his tie is. Without looking up from her attaché, she informs him that it's on the back of his chair. He wanders off as Rick strides in, beaming. "Hey!" he says, planting a kiss on the side of Lily's head. It looks like Rick has finally found that comb he misplaced all season. Smiling proudly, he asks, "Do you know they have a poster of you in the lobby?" She finally looks up from her folders and, with mock pomposity, says, "I'm a radio personality, in case you haven't noticed." She gives him a kiss, and he beams that he wants to take her to lunch. She apologetically reminds him that she has a meeting over at Radiovation -- she told him about it that morning. "You weren't listening!" she accuses, snatching her bag and pretending to be miffed. Rick defends himself: "I was listening. It's just, sometimes I don't hear." Lily smiles indulgently while grabbing more stuff from her desk. Rick says he'll take her to dinner at La Campagna instead of lunch, then. Lily snatches her coat from the back of her chair and gives him a quizzical look. She asks what's the occasion. He says it's a surprise, and she teasingly grumbles that she hates surprises. He insists that she loves them. Slipping into her coat, she mutters, "Cruel and unusual." Rick cops to it, happily. The Curmudgeon lumbers up and orders, "Let's go!" Rick says a friendly hello, and Les barks a hello back. Lily quickly smooches Rick while chasing after Les and says she'll see him later. Rick stands there grinning, and calls after her, "See ya later!"
Cut to Jake letting himself into Tiffany's apartment, while a train rumbles in the background. "Hello!" he bellows, coming through the door. Tiffany turns from the crib, holding up a shushing hand. Jake softly closes the door, and they kiss hello. Tiffany asks if he's okay, since he's "all sweaty." Jokingly, she asks if he ran over to her place. Jake quickly answers that the heater in his car is broken, so he can't turn it off. Tiffany stands at the stove, stirring a pot, and says she made dinner if he's hungry. Jake rolls up his cuffs and absently says, "Yeah, I'll see." He stares off and exhales hard. Watching him, Tiffany's irked. Steeling herself for the letdown, she asks, "Okay, what is it?" Jake says that he just walked in, and asks why there "has to be something." Tiffany braces herself at the counter, trying to screw up some courage, while Jake huffs and tries to regulate his heartbeat. He turns to face her, and they both speak at once. Jake: "Look --" Tiffany: "I don't want to do this." Jake, somewhat taken aback, asks what Tiffany's talking about. She starts to say that he's in one of his moods, and he tries to cut her off, insisting that he isn't. She just keeps talking, complaining that she'll have to spend the two hours walking around on eggshells. "Tiff, stop! For a minute, okay?" Jake pleads. She snarks, "Jake, I could stop for a minute. I could stop for a year, but what's the point?" He begs her to listen to him, but she just rolls ahead, griping, "If you want to come over, that's wonderful! But don't just sit here and obsess or depress or whatever it is that goes on in that head of yours!" Jake settles wearily onto the couch, pleading with her just to listen, while Tiffany flies between the stove and the table, saying, "And I'm sorry, but I've been needing to say this for so long, and I've been afraid to because I thought it was stupid, or whatever, but...I have needs. And [gesturing toward the crib] she's going to have needs, too, and you can't just walk around anymore and assume that you're the only person around, Jake!" Jake peers up at her and looks like he's going to be sick. She stares back, waiting for him to say something. Finally, frustrated, she snaps, "Okay, do you have nothing to say?" He swallows hard and mumbles, "Tiffany..." She just looks at him, waiting. "...will you...uh...marry me?" Wow, how romantic. Jake makes himself look at her. "What?" Tiffany snaps. Heh.
Jake forces some air into his lungs, pushes himself up off the couch, and repeats the question. "Don't do that!" she says, pissed. He starts explaining that he's trying to propose, but she snarks that it's not funny -- it's cruel. Also, would it kill him to get down on one knee or something? Jake asks what she's talking about. She mutters something about getting mad at him one time and he just comes in there and.... Jake strides over and grabs both her arms, trying to snap her out of it. "Tiffany. Will. You. Marry. Me," he repeats. Breathless, he adds, "And share your life with me, and learn to accept my obvious weaknesses?" Stunned, she asks, "You're asking me?" He confirms that he is. She's quiet for a few seconds, and he grabs her hands tightly, waiting for her answer. "Why?" she finally says, furrowing her brow. Hee. He strokes her hair and says he's finally realized how much she and the baby mean to him: "Because when I'm not with you, I feel utterly useless." And he loves her? He takes a shuddering breath and lifts her hands to his lips for an audible smooch. She stares at him, overwhelmed and probably half-waiting for the punch line. "Well?" Jake finally asks. She bites her lip.
Cut to Karen's place. She enters her dining room, sees the table set with a tablecloth and candles, and exclaims, "Wow! This looks so beautiful!" The camera pans to the kitchen, where Eli and Jessie are working on a salad, and Katie is grabbing a casserole dish. Jessie says that Katie made most of it. "Yeah, my grandmother taught me to cook. I find it therapeutic," Katie says. And it's a great way to impress the chicks, too. Karen hobbles over to the table and says everything looks great. Katie smiles, "I see you're off your crutches, Mrs. Sammler." Eli helps Karen into her chair, as Jessie tells Katie that Karen has a great physical therapist. "And he's really cute, too," Jessie adds. Katie giggles. "Mom, don't you think that Henry's cute?" Jessie asks, a little too innocently. Karen pretends that she doesn't have eyes and that she doesn't live in the world. Eli observes that Henry "totally has a crush on [Karen]. It's so obvious." Jessie chimes in her agreement. "What?" Karen asks Eli, acting just a little too shocked. Jessie says that Karen "should totally go out with him." "What?" Karen asks, acting even more shocked. Jessie asks why not: "Because he's black?" Karen spoons some casserole onto her plate and sputters that that isn't it. She stammers that it's because he's her physical therapist, and they have a professional relationship. No one's buying it. Eli shoots a knowing look at Jessie, who grins conspiratorially. Karen catches the exchange and stares pointedly at Eli, who pretends he's been paying the most careful attention to her excuses. "What?" Karen grits, feigning annoyance. Jessie laughs, "You like him!" Karen lets her jaw drop in a show of surprise. She looks at Eli, who teases, "You like him! You totally like him!" Jessie squeals that Karen is totally blushing. "Look, you're all red!" she laughs. Karen tries to sound stern as she tells them to stop it, but she's smiling so widely she can barely get the words out.
Cut to La Campagna, as Lily scoots over to Rick at a candlelit table for two. Beaming, she apologizes that her meeting went all afternoon. He grins and pours her a glass of wine, chattering that he can't stop eating the bread. Lily takes off her jacket, still smiling. Rick eagerly leans across the table and asks if she wants the good news now or later. She throws back her shoulders and says that she has some great news, herself. Rick swivels his head around his shoulders and says, "Well, you go, girl." Okay, don't ever do that again. Lily's bubbling over as she relays that, "for some reason," Radiovation wants to test her show in the ten biggest markets. Rick gushes, "That's amazing! That's wonderful!" She grins and says that he made it possible. He brushes away the suggestion, forgetting that his family provided the fodder for her early shows. Her voice husky, she insists, "You have no idea."
Lily stares at Rick for a few seconds, inhales deeply as if breathing him in, and asks what is his news. Rick takes a breath to steady himself, then lays it out: he and Sam have been asked to design Colin's hotel. "Of course you have, because you're brilliant and you made him look great," Lily says. Rick modestly rolls his eyes and holds up his hand, adding, "And --" Lily asks, "There's an 'and'?" Rick says that it's in Australia. Not realizing the implications, Lily beams and says she's "so proud" of him. Rick, pleased with himself, arranges the flatware. Lily asks, "How do you design a building in Australia? What, do you send drawings?" Rick tries not to laugh at her ignorance and says, "Nooo! You go there." Lily digests that news and asks, "Like, for how long?" Rick says it'll be for about nine months or so, then adds, "But, Lil, that's the great part. [Colin's] willing to pay for all of us to go. Everyone!" Lily's smile drops as fast as her stomach. "To Australia?" she gulps. Rick happily babbles on, "The whole family! All expenses paid -- schooling, housing. I mean, what a great experience for the kids!" Just like when the Bradys went to Hawaii! Oh, they could have done such a good parody. Lily's eyes grow dull, and she breathes, "Wow." Rick adds the biggest piece of news: Colin wants six more hotels in the seven years. "In Australia?" Lily says, having trouble keeping up, since she's totally overwhelmed and all. Rick says no, especially since Colin is so eccentric, but he figures that most of them will be in the States. "But not in Chicago," Lily says quietly. Her expression says she knows it's too much to hope for.
Rick exhales heavily, deflating. He asks if Lily's okay with it. She sighs and admits that she's not sure. She rhymes off her reservations about taking the kids out of school, and then there's her mother (nice continuity!) and the house.... Unconcerned, Rick says they can deal with all of it. His enthusiasm building again, he encourages her to think about how great it will be. "What if my syndication deal happens?" she asks. He guppies a bit, not quite sure how to field that one. After a few seconds, he says, "Well, you could do it from Australia." Uh, yeah. Lily breaks it to him that Australia is another country. Another country that's its own continent, clear on the other side of the planet. She reminds him that people won't be able to call in. He says they will -- they can use the internet. Lily stares at him sadly, realizing that they can't both have what they want. She leans back in her chair and sighs loudly. Rick's not ready to give up, though, and leans forward, urging, "Lil, this is all too good to be a problem. This can't be a problem!" She tries to put on a smile and says that he's totally right. He raises his glass and offers a toast: "To too much good news!" She clinks his glass and, while he beams, she looks distraught. Good thing there's still a whole carafe of wine sitting there.
When we return after the break, we're in the kitchen of Manning Manor, and it appears to be the following day. Eli squeezes orange juice at the counter, while the rest of the kids go back and forth about the Australia idea. Rick stands at the counter, listening. Jessie decisively says that she doesn't want to go. Hmm, wonder why. Eli scoffs, "Why wouldn't you? Are you crazy?" Grace says she'd be "thrilled" to spend her senior year anywhere else. Heh. Lily strides in; Zoe pops up from the table, trails her anxiously, and asks, "Do I have to go to Australia? I want to be bat mitzvahed, and I don't know if they have that there." I'm no expert, but I'm willing to wager that there are some Jewish people living in Australia. Lily cups Zoe's chin and playfully reminds her that she's only one-quarter Jewish. Zoe solemnly says that it's an important quarter. Eli lifts his glass of juice and declares, "Well, I'm game." Grace lifts her hand in a show of solidarity. Jessie asks if she can stay at Karen's, and Zoe quickly asks if she can stay there, too. Because she doesn't have a father. "Zoe!" Grace chides.
Lily touches Rick's elbow and leads him out of the room, asking, "So, you told them?" "Well, of course," he says, and asks if he was wrong. Lily throws up her arm and says she thought the two of them would discuss it first. Rick says he thought he'd pile more yes votes on his side first, err... "get their perspective first." "Well, I guess you got it," Lily snarks. Rick says that the kids' perspective is important, too. Lily counters that she thinks it's important for them to "present a united front." Rick asks if her reaction is about his telling the kids or if it's really about the move, period. Lily squints as if she can't believe he's for real, and says she doesn't know.
Lily starts to say more, but she's interrupted by the entrance of Jake, Tiffany, and the baby. Zoe and Grace kiss them hello and crowd around the baby. Grace asks what they're doing there. Jake says, "Funny you should ask that..." Zoe guesses that they're having another baby. "No, but that's not entirely out of the question," Jake says. Grace grabs her juice glass off the table and jokingly suggests, "They're getting married!" Jake protests, "Hey, no fair!" Grace almost drops her glass. Everyone is flat-out flabbergasted. They quickly recover and offer their smiling congratulations. Zoe rushes up to Tiffany and asks to see her ring. Embarrassed, Jake quickly stammers, "Yeah, well, we haven't had a chance yet...." Tiffany waves her hand and says it's okay, but she's not entirely convincing. Grace asks when the wedding is, and Tiffany answers that Jake wanted to elope, but then they decided that it would be nice to "have everyone [they] love there." She adds that they're getting married on Sunday. Jake adds that it's at the restaurant. Sweeping her arm, Tiffany announces, "You're all invited!" Everyone oohs and ahhs. Grace gives Jake and Tiffany a kiss, and Rick comes over to shake Jake's hand and kiss Tiffany's cheek. Lily stays at the end of the counter, staring at its surface. Jake hands off the baby to Tiffany so he can move closer to Lily. He chuckles self-consciously, waiting for her reaction. Finally, she smiles and says warmly, "It's wonderful, Jake. It really is. Congratulations." "Thank you, Lil," he says, and they look at one another as if they can't quite believe where they've ended up.
Cut to a baseball diamond. Karen hobbles along the chain-link fence, watching the action of the Little League game. Off-screen, we hear Henry encouraging his team, despite the fact that they're losing. Karen smiles as she watches him clap his hands and cheer them on. Henry glances in her direction and does a double-take when he sees her standing there. He leans toward the fence, chewing his gum and smiling slowly. "Karen?" he says, slowly, almost teasingly. She waves and limps her way over to the dugout. He comes from behind the fence and invites her to sit on the bench. The ass-pole, regaining its strength, twitches. Karen takes the cue and says that she "can only stay for a minute." Henry pushes, "Well, why can't you come and sit on the bench for a minute?" The ass-pole's too weak to fuss for long, it seems, as Karen smiles and accepts the offer. He teases her about joining in the game, and she laughs it off, heading for the bench.
Meanwhile, over at the station, Lily frets over the Australia deal while Judy reads a guide book on the land down under. Lily asks, "What about Mom? You know how I wanted her to come live with me." Judy off-handedly suggests, "So, bring her along. She won't know where she is, anyway." Ha! I mean, shame on you, Judy. Lily tsks and asks, incredulously, "So, you're just fine dropping everything and going?" Are you kidding? A man is involved, here. Judy says she's already packed, adding, "Of course, Sam hasn't exactly asked me. Yet." Lily looks away and heaves a mighty sigh. Gently, Judy asks, "What, honey? Is this because of the syndication thing?" "No. Yes. I don't know -- it's everything," Lily replies, glum. She adds that it's "uprooting everyone, including [her]." Judy says that change is scary. Lily sips from her mug and makes a squelchy face, complaining that it "tastes funny." She sets down the mug and plunks her chin on her hand, shaking her head and groaning, "I'm a terrible wife."
Cut back to the ballpark, where the game has wrapped up. Henry emerges from the locker room with a bag of equipment slung over his shoulder. He passes a couple of his players and tells them it was a good game; he then heads over to Karen, who's waiting on the bleachers. Henry takes a seat to her and opens his cooler, pulling out two juice boxes with a flourish. Chuckling, she accepts one from him. As she fiddles with the straw, he looks at her earnestly and thanks her for coming. She looks off and assures him that she had fun. He asks if she did her daily exercises. "Oh, yes, sir, I did," she says, mocking her drill sergeant. Henry chuckles and changes the subject, telling her that he used to play semi-pro baseball. She looks impressed. Before they can say anything more, raindrops start pinging heavily against whatever roof device is above their heads. Henry loudly complains, "Are you kidding? Why couldn't it have rained during the game?" They laugh, watching the rain pour down in sheets around them. There's an awkward moment when they stop laughing, and Karen suddenly finds her juice box fascinating. Henry stares at her for a second then says, slowly and pointedly, "Karen, I'm really glad you came." She briefly looks into his eyes, then down at the bleachers. He starts to say something more, but stops himself, chuckling nervously. She urges him to say it. It takes a few seconds for him to work himself up to it, but he finally says, "I just think, after everything you've gone through...you're a really great person." She manages to look into his eyes without glancing away this time. Choking up, she thanks him. They stare at each other for a few seconds more, the electricity buzzing between them. Finally, Karen breaks the tension by glancing around at the rain and hoarsely saying that she should go. He nods and asks if she'd like a ride. She quickly insists that she can just call Eli. Henry points out the absurdity of that plan, and gestures to his car, which is parked nearby. Karen relents and agrees to the ride, nodding nervously and looking everywhere but at him. Henry can't tear his eyes off her. He tells her not to run off, and makes those wiggly fingers again. She chuckles, and he dashes off to get his car. As Henry walks away with his back to her, she finally lets herself look at him again.
Cut to Lily in the bedroom, tapping away on her laptop. From off-screen, Rick calls out a reminder about the cocktail party on Friday night. Lily asks what time, because she has a meeting on Friday night. Rick appears in the background, poking his head out from the bathroom to ask what kind of meeting. Lily doesn't stop typing as she answers that she has to do promos for the four major markets. "They've got you doing promos already?" Rick asks, returning to the bathroom and sounding slightly disgruntled. Lily says they just handed her a schedule. "Oh," Rick says, sounding touchy. "What?" she asks as she finishes up whatever she's been working on and gets up from her desk. She carries her laptop over to the bed as he emerges from the bathroom, saying, "Nothing, I just figured we'd talk about all this, that's all." She breezes past him into the bathroom, and sniffs, "So, let's talk about it." He complains that it seems like she's already doing it. She flaps her arms and says she's not doing anything, and again says they should talk about it. Rick pauses for a breath before settling on the bed and saying, "Okay..."
Rick rubs a hand nervously through his hair, then plunges in and asks if Lily's thought about postponing her syndication deal. Incredulous, she spins around from the sink and demands, "How could I say that to them? You don't think there aren't six hundred other people who would kill for this opportunity?" Rick pulls off his socks. Lily suggests that he postpone his deal, and Rick laughs dismissively, saying, "Yeah, Colin would be very happy to do that. Not to mention Sam." He gets up and paces to the other side of the bed, snooping into Lily's laptop. Lily snarks from the bathroom, "So, you're saying the only way to resolve this conflict is for me to do what you want me to do." Rick walks back to the other side of the bed, and an indignant Lily comes into view, glaring at him from the bathroom. He settles on the bed again and opens his hands in a pleading gesture, saying, "Lil, we're talking about nine months." Exactly. So why doesn't he just go, and she can stay there? It's not like it's nine years, and they do have regular flights to Australia. Rick says the deal would be "so important" to the family, "financially and in every way, especially with what [they] went through last year." Lily repeats her earlier observation: "So, basically, the way to resolve this is for me to do what you want." He doesn't want to admit it, so he says that's unfair. Lily softens a little, admitting, "Look, I don't know if what you're saying is wrong. I don't even know what I'm saying. I just need time to think about it, and I don't have time to think about it. My back has been killing me all day. I...I don't know." She wanders back into the bathroom. Rick, pouting a little, says, "So why don't we go to bed." Lily sighs that it's an excellent idea. Rick wearily stands up and starts undoing his belt. Which is when we fade out to commercials. I mean, really, would it have killed them to wait a few more seconds?
We return from commercials to find Tiffany popping into Booklovers with the baby. Gerda Lerner is there doing a book-signing for Fireweed, so it's a little hectic. Tiffany cranes her neck and searches for Jake among the throng, an expectant half-smile on her face. Her smile quickly fades, and the camera follows her gaze to Jake, giggling and holding some woman's hand. Said woman laughs and throws her hair back over her shoulder. Jake smoothes a few stray locks out of the way and fingers her huge hoochie-mama hoop. Tiffany's stomach drops along with her spirits, and she turns abruptly toward the door.
Cut to Colin's cocktail party, later that evening. The camera pans around the lobby of The Dreiser, which is where it's being held. Off-screen, we can hear Colin holding court. The camera weaves through revelers and waiters, and finally catches up with him. He's surrounded by Judy, Sam, and Rick. Colin raises his champagne flute and offers a toast: "To Theodore Dreiser. No one in this room has read one of the man's books." Well, that's kind of crappy. ["Plus, Judy probably has." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Lily strides in as the toast ends, whispering to Rick that she's sorry she's late. Judy kisses her hello as Rick swaps his nearly empty flute for a full one, and grabs one for Lily as well. Lily sniffs the bubbly, asking, "Does this smell funny to you?" Oh, she is so pregnant. They rejoin Sam, Judy, and Colin, the last of whom grins, "You must be so proud of your husbands." Judy quickly says, "Oh, we're not actually, uh..." "Married," Sam supplies. Lily jumps in to say that she's extremely proud.
Cut to a close-up of hors d'oeuvres. The camera pans up to Judy inhaling one. She manages to make it look like she's just nibbling, which is an excellent party trick. Lily wanders over, and Judy gushes, "I am so happy! He asked me." Lily clenches and says, "To marry you?" Judy clarifies that Sam asked her to go to Australia, and I swear Lily breathes a sigh of relief. I feel ya, Lily. Her face relaxes and she says, "Of course he did. Did you have any doubt?" Judy deadpans that she always has doubt. She starts enthusing about everything she and Lily can do in Australia. Lily's expression doesn't change. Colin sidles up, exclaiming, "The Brooks sisters!" He snags a passing waiter, and insists that they try whatever crab concoction is on the tray. He tells them how great the food is in Australia, and promises that they're going to love it. Judy happily samples the fare, while Lily tries to smile politely and not scream. Colin tells her to get Rick to bring back some rock lobster for her, and blathers on about how good it is. Lily forces a response. Colin assures her, "You're going to love Sydney, and Sydney is going to love you!" He says he's lining up houses for Rick to look at when he's in Australia week. You can practically hear the needle scratching the record. "week?" Lily replies, shaking her head as if she couldn't possibly have heard him correctly. Colin explains that they have to scout things out. He trails off, having spotted someone over Lily's shoulder. He makes his apologies and rushes off to "blow smoke up" the person. Judy finally notices that Lily doesn't look so hot, and asks if she's okay. Lily flatly says she has a headache. She doesn't mention that his name is Rick. Judy gets it, though, saying, "This Australia thing is really upsetting you, isn't it?" Lily chuckles ruefully and says she doesn't know. She repeats it for effect.
Meanwhile, Jake walks into Tiffany's apartment, and into a whole lotta woman scorned. He's got a couple of plates in his hand, and explains that the cooks at the restaurant put together some possibilities for the wedding, and he wants her to sample them. He practically dances over to the table, not sensing the chill in the air, and sets the plates down with a flourish. Tiffany turns on her heel and walks away. Jake still doesn't sense her mood, babbling on about phyllo dough and other inanities. Tiffany remains silent, occupying herself by sorting through the baby's clothes. "Tiff?" he finally prods. Over her shoulder, she mutters that she's not hungry. He asks what's wrong. She keeps her back to him and states, "I don't think you want to get married." Jake looks like he's been slapped, and his eyes pop as he asks, "What?" Tiffany slaps down a baby dress and fights to keep her voice steady as she repeats, "I don't think you really want to get married. So neither do I." Jake brushes it off as cold feet. She insists that it isn't, adding that she "feel[s] really weird about this whole thing, and [she's] just changed her mind." Jake slowly walks over to her, looking at her quizzically and asking what she's doing. Finally, she looks at him, her eyes full of disgust. She looks away. "Baby, what is it?" he asks. He wraps his arms around her and nuzzles her neck, asking her to tell him what's going on. She closes her eyes while she rolls the words around on her tongue, then spits, "I saw you with that woman at the bookstore!" Looking genuinely puzzled, Jake asks what woman. The dam bursts, and Tiffany spews that she saw him this afternoon when she brought by shirts to go with his suit, and she saw him laughing with some woman and holding her hand, and it just made her feel sick. Jake can't believe what he's hearing and turns away, muttering, "Oh my god!" Tiffany continues ranting while he walks over to his jacket, which is slung over a kitchen chair. She plops herself down on the bed. Jake can't keep from smiling, and affectionately says, "Idiot, she was bringing me this." He walks to Tiffany with a small box in his hand, and drops down to his knee. Finally! Tiffany's taken aback by the sight of the box. Wordlessly, Jake pops open the top to reveal an engagement ring. After a beat, he says, "The woman is a jeweler." Yeah, so it was a jeweler you were flirting with. Her profession doesn't exactly explain the behavior, now, does it? Yet, Tiffany laughs with relief. He takes her hand and slips the ring on her finger. Laughing, he pulls her into his arms.
Cut to Karen's place, as she hobbles to answer the door. She finds Henry there, and expresses her surprise. She's not exactly pleasantly surprised, either. Henry leans against the door frame and says he was a little worried because she missed her session that day. Karen stammers that she left a message. "The message didn't say why," he says, raising his eyebrows pointedly. Karen lamely says that she was busy. "So, what are you, too busy to learn how to walk now?" he challenges. Karen doesn't appreciate the attitude. She says that if he wants to "browbeat" her, he'll have to wait for her session. I doubt that a "browbeating" is what Henry's looking to give her. Well, what do you know. Henry agrees, saying he doesn't "want to do that, and [she] knows[s]" it. She's like a deer in headlights. After a few seconds, she regains enough composure to turn wordlessly from the door and take a few steps inside. Henry follows.
Karen's voice is husky when she asks why he came over. Henry explains that, in his job, he's sees people when they're the most vulnerable, and they can't hide who they really are. Karen is suddenly engrossed by her hardwood flooring. Henry starts to say what he's seen in her, but cuts himself off, growing impatient with his own faltering. He blurts that he doesn't think he should be her physical therapist anymore. Karen senses where he's heading, and says his name pleadingly, wanting him to stop. Henry says that he really wanted to kiss her at the ballpark the other day, and he thinks she wanted him to. Karen looks like she's about to cop to it, but Henry just plows ahead, too agitated to stop: "We didn't kiss. We didn't. Why not?" The ass-pole musters enough strength to get in a good jab, and Karen says she can't do this. "What, you can't do this? Or you can't talk about doing this?" Henry demands. "E-either. Neither. Both!" Karen stammers. He asks if she wants him to leave. Karen looks torn. Henry takes a couple steps toward her, asking, "Karen, do you think in eight years of doing this, in doing my job, that I've ever been in this situation before?" Uncertainly, Karen says yes. Henry says no. He asks if she realizes how hard he's had to restrain himself from feeling anything for her "but the annoyance [she] seem[s] to cause [him] every time [he] has to kick [her] butt." He asks, "Do you have any idea how stupid it is for me to even think about getting involved with a client who's depressed, who's white, not to mention whose life is a mess?" Karen weakly tells him to shut up. Henry says he has been. He looks at her searchingly, and Karen finds it hard to meet his gaze. She admits that her life is a mess, and says that he's just going to make it worse. He touches her cheek and whispers, "No. No, see, I think your life is just beginning." She clings to the words, tearing up and taking a shuddering breath. Henry closes his eyes and leans toward her. Before they can kiss, the front door bangs open and Eli and Jessie barge in. They stop short, taking in the scene. After a second, they say hi. They can hardly keep the knowing smirks off their faces. Jessie grabs Eli's arm, and they fudge that they're going to get something to eat in the kitchen. Karen's chagrined, while Henry chuckles. She admonishes him that it's not funny. He insists, "Oh, it's kind of funny." Karen sighs and looks troubled. She shakes her head and hoarsely says that she can't do this: "Maybe I even want to, but I can't. I'm sorry." Henry is suddenly somber. With a disappointed nod, he mutters, "Ah, Karen," and lets himself out. Damn that ass-pole!
Meanwhile, Lily and Rick are just arriving home from the cocktail party. They enter the darkened kitchen, and Lily immediately starts rummaging through the drawers and cupboards. Rick asks what she's looking for, and she pouts, "Something for my stomach." See if you can rustle up an e.p.t. while you're at it. She mutters that she doesn't think "those crab things" agreed with her. "Maybe they're from Australia," Rick says. "Very funny," she grits. Rick grabs a bottle of hard liquor and plunks it on the counter. "We're going to work this out," he says. Is he talking to Lily or the booze? "How? You've already decided," she snarks. She puts a mug in the microwave and slams the door. "When were you going to tell me about this trip you're going on week?" she demands. Rick yanks the cork out of the bottle and snips, "What, you think I was going to leave without telling you?" Hand on her hip, Lily glares, and snaps, "You tell me."
Rick pours a generous splash of liquor in his glass and looks up at her, deciding it's time to lay it out: "Look, I want this. I really do. I want it financially, I want it for my ego. I've been working toward this for, what, twenty years. And I have paid a price for it. And it's going to put the kids through college." The microwave beeps, and Lily yanks her mug from it. She seethes, "I don't need you to tell me why this is so great." "Excuse me? You've been against this since I brought it up!" Rick retorts. She waves her arms and says he just assumed that she'd drop everything and go to Australia. He claims that he didn't assume anything. You mean, aside from assuming that all the kids would be into it? That your ex-wife wouldn't have any objections to it? That she wouldn't need the kids to help her recuperate from her nearly fatal accident? Lily doesn't bother arguing with him. She silently gets a spoon and sets about making her tea.
Rick tries a different approach, saying -- a little patronizingly -- "Listen, the radio thing, it's amazing, but you haven't been working on it since you were twenty-two." Lily adamantly slaps her hand back on her hip and informs him that she has. Rick scrunches up his face dismissively. Lily asks, "Are you even going to listen to what I have to say? Or have you already decided that I'm an idiot, or whatever else your face seems to be saying?" Rick says his face isn't saying anything. Lily spits, "Look in the mirror!" Heh. His face softens, and Lily tries to make him see her side of things, saying that she's finally found something, after years of searching, that makes her feel "purposeful in the world." Choking up, she says that she's good, and that she loves the radio, and that she doesn't want to give it up. Rick whispers that he's not asking her to give it up; he just can't see why she can't postpone it for a few months. Lily's jaw drops. "And do what? Sit in a rented house and resent you?" she asks. Rick rolls his eyes in exasperation and says, "Forgive me, Lil, but I think you're being really selfish about this." Lily's right: he should look in the mirror. And I'll ask again, why doesn't he just go to Australia, and they'll hook up as their schedules allow? It's not like they don't have phones and airports in Australia, for Christ's sake. Rick takes a belt of his drink. Lily, offended, snits, "Rick, forgive me, but why do I feel like, if you don't get your way, you're going to walk out of this house and never look back?" Rick ponders the question, not finding an answer. He sighs that he doesn't know what to do. Lily grits that she'll make it easy: "You go to Australia. I'm going to stay here." She punctuates it with a red-hot glare before declaring that she has to go throw up. He stands there, not knowing what to do. He looks at the glass in his hand like he can't remember how it got there, pours out the rest of the drink, and caps the bottle. He rests his hand on the bottle, hanging his head, as we go to commercials.
We're at Karen's house when we return. She's sitting at the kitchen table, apparently looking over some legal papers. Jessie races in wearing a dress, with her hair up, and asks Karen to do up her necklace for her. Karen fiddles with the clasp and tells her that she looks beautiful. Jessie smiles, notices the paperwork on the table, and frets, "Mom, you work too much." Karen retorts that Jessie worries about her too much. Jessie goes to check the necklace in a mirror, saying that she just wants Karen to have fun. Karen insists that she does. When the ass-pole allows it. Jessie says she thinks Karen should go out with Henry. Karen rolls her eyes and sarcastically thanks Jessie. Jessie watches Karen from the other room, looking troubled. She returns to the kitchen and, feeling somewhat awkward, says, "I just think that sometimes things happen between people that...you don't really expect." Karen slings her arm over the chair and turns to look closely at Jessie. Jessie continues, "And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem weirdest, or the most wrong." She breaks into a smile, and adds, "But those are the ones that change your life." Karen studies Jessie, impressed by her insight. Then her eyes well up, and she smiles. "What shoes are you going to wear?" she asks. Jessie smiles and says she'll get them.
Jessie runs off to her room, as Rick comes in the front door calling out a hello. He saunters into the dining room, and Karen compliments his suit. He thanks her a little shyly, and looks away. Jessie races down the stairs with Eli right behind her. She stands in front of Karen to give her the full effect, and Karen notes that the shoes are "perfect." Jessie kisses her goodbye, then hugs Rick hello. They head out the front door, and Eli takes his place in front of Karen. "You look so handsome," she says, sounding slightly amazed. He smiles awkwardly and asks if she'll be okay by herself. She says, "Of course." He kneels in front of her, to look directly into her eyes, and asks if she's sure. She looks at him steadily and says, "Yes. You go. And you have fun." He smiles and tells her he loves her. Karen and I tear up simultaneously. She pulls him in for a tight hug, and then kisses his ear before sending him off. When the door closes behind him, Karen gets a thoughtful, almost mischievous glint in her eye. She reaches for her cane.
Cut to Booklovers, where a jazz ensemble is playing and wedding guests are milling about. Zoe finally gets a line, telling Jake that Tiffany looks beautiful in her dress, and that he looks so handsome. The camera pans over to them, and she examines him with concern, noting that he's sweating. She asks if he's nervous, and then runs a lint roller down his lapel. Grace wanders over and also observes that Jake is sweating. She swipes at his forehead with a napkin, and he jumps away. "Yes, ladies, I'm sweating. Thank you," he says, jostling Maddie in his arms. The girls coo over the baby, and Zoe asks to hold her. Jake hands Maddie off, and watches them fawn over her, smiling proudly.
Cut to Eli and Jessie, standing to the side and observing everything. Jessie mutters, "This is so weird." Eli takes a sip of his drink and teases, "You love it." She emphatically insists that she does not. She glances off-screen, and her face lights up. "Hey!" she exclaims, rushing forward to give Katie a hello hug. Eli nearly does a spit-take, and asks what Katie is doing there. She informs him that she's crashing. "Well, that's bizarre," Eli observes. Katie and Jessie giggle, twining their arms. "Geez, you guys are, like, attached at the hip," Eli says. Katie deflects the attention by stepping toward him and playfully saying that his tie is crooked. She starts straightening it, as Jessie walks up and says that his hair is a mess. Katie agrees and the two start rubbing at his head. He frantically shoos them away.
Meanwhile, in the bookstore's back office, Tiffany finds Lily with her head between her knees. "Hey!" she says. Lily quickly straightens up, looking gray and clammy. Tiffany settles against the desk and says, "You know, when I called my mother to tell her I was getting married, the only advice she gave me was to pee before the ceremony." She chuckles. Lily laughs that Tiffany's mother is very wise. Tiffany asks if Lily is okay, and Lily mumbles something about her stomach. Tiffany says she's really glad that Lily is there. Touched, Lily says that she is, too, and adds that Tiffany looks beautiful. Tiffany clutches her stomach and says that she's nervous. Lily assures her that it's natural, but Tiffany's not so sure. She takes a few seconds to force in some deep breaths, and then finally whispers, "I don't think I can go through with this." She says she woke up that morning with such "feelings of dread." Lily looks sympathetic. She was married to Jake, too, after all. Tiffany says she doesn't trust Jake. She asks Lily to tell her if she's supposed to get married, even though she's "consumed" with more fear and doubt than she's ever felt in her life. Lily sadly says, "Oh, sweetie, I can't." Tiffany asks why. "Because who am I to give advice? My life is a mess!" And you're no expert, right? Tiffany laughs ruefully and says she'd "give anything" to have Lily's life. "Oh, Tiffany," Lily murmurs. She moves to Tiffany and sighs. After a second, she looks at Tiffany and says, "The day you had Maddie, your life went off the map, didn't it?" Tiffany beams and nods. "Well, that's what marriage is like, finally. No map, no direction. Just two people doing the best they can. And the only real danger in marrying the wrong person is if you have a kid and then get divorced, and you have the kid anyway, so what's the difference?" Lily reasons. Huh? The difference is she could avoid getting cheated on, and getting her heart broken, and putting her kid through a divorce. Tiffany's an easy sell, though, and laughs through her tears, telling Lily that she's good. "You should give advice on the radio, or something," she jokes. Snuffling, she asks Lily if she has mascara all over her face. Lily grabs a Kleenex and dabs under Tiffany's eyes.
Cut back to the main room, where the band is swinging into a rendition of "Here Comes the Bride." My boyfriend glances up from his book and asks, "What, is Snoopy getting married?" Heh. It is very Vince Guaraldi. Tiffany and her sister, the strip-a-licious Brandi, appear, and stroll down the aisle. We zoom in for a close-up of Katie and Jessie, then Jake and the girls at the front, and then Lily, Rick, and Eli. Everyone looks happy; nothing to report, really. Tiffany reaches the front and passes her bouquet to Zoe. Zoe hands her a book with a red ribbon tied to its cover. The officiator starts in with the welcoming speech.
The officiator's words, "where we come to witness these two hearts unite," continue as a voice-over as we cut to the ballpark. A cab pulls up, and Karen clambers out of the backseat. She surveys the quiet park, and looks absolutely radiant in her magenta pashmina scarf.
Tiffany reads from the book: "From the window, I see her bend to the roses, holding close to the bloom, so as not to prick her fingers. With the other hand, she clips. Pauses and clips. More alone than I had known." Jake watches her adoringly, and the camera pans to Lily and Rick, sitting with a gap between them. Lily soaks in the words and the occasion, while Rick looks full of remorse.
Karen fills her lungs with air, and continues scanning the ball diamond, as Tiffany voice-overs, "She will not look up, not now." The camera cuts to where Karen's eyes stop, and we see Henry stroll out from behind a building. Tiffany continues: "She's alone with the roses and with something else, I can only think, not say." Karen smiles faintly as she sets off in pursuit of Henry.
The scene dissolves back to Booklovers, as Jake takes the book from Tiffany and begins to read: "I know the names of those bushes, given for our late wedding: Love, Honor, Cherish." Jessie studies Katie's profile, then reaches out to take her hand. Jake continues: "This last, the rose she holds out to me suddenly, having entered the house between glances." Sam reaches for Judy's hand, and clutches it between both of his. Judy smiles at him.
Karen draws up to Henry as Jake voice-overs: "I press my nose to it, draw the sweetness in, let it cling. The scent of promise, treasure." Henry's crouching near one of the bases, rubbing dust on his hands. He glances up, sensing Karen standing there. Jake voice-overs: "My hand on her wrist, to bring her close. Her eyes, green as river moss." Henry stands and rubs his palms on the front of his jeans.
Jake reads: "Saying it then, against what comes: wife." Lily puts her hand on Rick's, without looking over. Rick takes a breath, fighting to contain his emotions. Jake continues: "While I can, while my breath, each hurried petal can still find her."
Henry and Karen stand face-to-face, looking into one another's eyes.
Jake closes the book and smiles at Tiffany, who grins back.
Karen reaches up to stroke Henry's cheek. In turn, he touches hers, and a tear traces its way toward her chin. Softly, they kiss. The camera moves back, and then further back, showing us the two of them clinging to each other in the middle of the ballpark.
The officiator pronounces Jake and Tiffany husband and wife. Lily watches them, touched, while Rick watches her and realizes what he almost lost. Jake and Tiffany kiss, and the officiator invites everyone to rejoice. The guests stand and applaud. Eli's like, why not? Lily steps up to congratulate the couple, and Rick watches her go. He glances around, looking jumpy, and makes a move. There's a flurry of excitement and congratulations as everyone hugs and mills around the newly married couple. Lily glances around for Rick, who's busy sneaking off. Lily continues her search, heading for the back rooms of the bookstore.
Lily finds Rick outside the kitchen, standing by himself and loosening his tie. She quietly asks if he's okay. He takes her by the arm and pulls her into the kitchen, past the wedding cake. Urgently, he grips her shoulders and apologizes, saying he's been "horrible" and he's made her sick, and he doesn't know what got into him. Lily immediately tries to make him stop, saying she wants him to listen to her. He refuses, saying, "Listen, I don't want to be away from you. I can't be away from you." Lily protests that he can't pass up his opportunity. He seems not to hear her, saying, "You are everything that I want." She says she's not letting him turn it down. He insists that he's staying. "No you're not. I'm turning down the syndication deal," she says. He says she's not. "Yes, I am. Our family means too much to me," she insists, touching his cheek. She says that if the syndicators want her now, they'll want her in a year. Rick argues that if Colin wants him now, he'll want Rick in a year. "I can't be away from you," Lily whispers urgently. He echoes the sentiment. "Plus, I'm pregnant," she says, getting misty. Finally, something that stops Rick's blabbing. He guppies, and asks, "What?" She says she suddenly remembered being nauseous like this in the past. "You're pregnant," he breathes, still not fully grasping it. "A hundred percent," she whispers. She studies his face and asks if he's upset. "What an...incredibly smart thing to do," he answers softly. She beams, and he asks, "My god, where are we going to put it?" Heh. "Uh huh," she says, giving her eyes a playful roll. They go back and forth a little longer, as Rick struggles to absorb the reality of it, and finally, they kiss. They stand, foreheads touching, and Lily asks if they should go back in. "Where?" Rick asks. She reminds him about the wedding. "Yeah, in a minute," he whispers, and they kiss some more. The camera slowly pulls back, and we fade to black.
I can't believe how hard my heart is pounding, knowing what's coming. "Okay, cut! That was beautiful. That's a wrap, everybody!" the director calls, strolling onto the set. Some crew members start milling around, as the rest of the cast comes through the kitchen door, cheering. Sela and Billy blow the camera a kiss.
The camera fades up on a black-and-white Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick. Herskovitz says, "A long time ago, we realized that most of the process of making a movie or a TV show was about the people who were involved. And, in fact, there was a deep connection between the people who were involved, and the product you came up with."
Everything that follows is shot in black-and-white, too, in the style of the soliloquies. Cut to Sela: "'Oh, my god! I have to play this woman!' You know, by the time I finished the script, I went, 'Damn! I gotta do it. I gotta do it!'"
Cut to Billy: "I've done probably as many pilots as George Clooney." He smiles self-deprecatingly.
Cut to Susanna, Shane, and Evan. Susanna squeezes Shane's cheek, and says fondly, "This one here just, uh, he just opened his arms and said hello and gave me a big hug. And I knew I was okay."
Billy and Sela. He asks, "You don't remember that?" She says, "No. We didn't meet there. We had a drink, at a restaurant. Do you remember?" He thinks he's got it: "You were having lunch at the same restaurant?" She shakes her head with a smile: "No." Billy: "Oh." Sela: "I wanted to meet you, to make sure you weren't a real jerk." Billy laughs nervously.
Jeffrey: "The hardest thing for me, I think, was that I had no experience with teenage daughters."
Ever: "I was only supposed to do one, but I stuck!"
Marin is sitting on Steven's lap. She asks, "Do you remember when we met? That first day we had to passionately kiss?"
Sela assures Billy that he was "incredibly charming, and...we did have a drink. Do you remember where that was?" He admits that he doesn't. "That's so frightening," she exclaims, and they bust out laughing.
Ed Zwick fidgets with his fingers and looks up, admitting, "What I'm most upset about [with] the possibility of the show ending, is that no one will ever hire me to act again." In this recapper's humble opinion, Dr. Wise-Ass, you've got nothing to fear.
The interviewer apparently asks the actors how they feel about the thought of cancellation.
Evan: "I can't really put it into words." Susanna laughs, "No, I can't put it into words."
Jeffrey: "I don't know how it's going to feel until I...um...it's not there anymore."
Julia: "It's going to be weird just being away from the place."
Meredith: "You know, it's really sad, because you've become so close to all these people here."
Evan, choking up: "And we've gotten so close. We've just become a family."
Sela: "I don't know if I can."
Susanna: "There's a big part of me that hasn't let go of the show, so I'm not so convinced that it's over."
Marin: "Wow, this is hard."
Shane: "I've never had...uh...uh..." Overcome, he tilts back in his chair and smiles off to the side, self-consciously. He tries again, but can't, and shakes his head at himself.
Billy just sighs and looks into the camera. Then he smiles, somewhat sadly.
Sela's looking off to the side, smiling like she's got some bittersweet secret. She turns the smile on us just as the screen fades to black. The color of the tiny, shrunken hearts of the people who made the call to kill this fine, fine show.
Not wanting to go out on a bitter note, I'd like to say what a pleasure it's been covering Once and Again for the past couple of years. Everyone involved with the show should feel incredibly proud of what they've made, and the impact it's had on us as viewers. It's been real, guys. Literally.