Okay, here's the disclaimer: in light of recent events, this episode's topic is close to home for a lot of people. I hope it's obvious that any jokes made in this recap are not intended to make light of violence or its consequences. They're intended to make light of the show's portrayal of a hostage taking. I know that guns are not funny. I also know that some shows should stick to what they do best -- namely, subtlety.
We open this week's Action Theater with a black-and-white clip of Lily, turning the engagement ring over in her fingers. She looks at it pensively, then stares into the camera. She looks apprehensive.
Her alarm bleeps and we cut to her bedroom, where the clock's digital display reads 9:23. Lily jerks awake, then silences the alarm and cocks an ear for sounds of movement in the house. Not hearing any, she throws back the covers and heads for Grace's room, following the sound of Grace's ringing alarm clock. Grace is flopped out, dead asleep. Lily chides her to wake up and asks what time Jake wants her to be at the restaurant. When she doesn't get a response, Lily swats Grace on the rump. She complains that she shouldn't have to get Grace up. "Then don't!" Grace groans, rolling over and clamping a pillow to her ear. Is it sad that, as an adult, I still behave pretty much the same way? And not just on weekends. Thank god Wing Chun and Glark think along the same lines. An urgent beeping interrupts Lily and Grace's squabble.
Cut to Zoe at the kitchen sink, enveloped in smoke. She appears to be extinguishing something. Lily rushes in and silences the smoke detector while simultaneously chastising Zoe for trying to cook by herself. Zoe pouts that she was "just trying to make Daddy's birthday cake." Grace enters the kitchen and smirks, "Daddy likes German chocolate cake." Zoe snaps defensively that she doesn't know how to make that. Grace surveys the wake of damage left by our little Betty Crocker and snides, "Oh my god!" Zoe snarks, "And get out of my life!" Lily whines that she said she'd help Zoe, and Zoe retorts that she didn't think Lily was ever getting out of bed. Boy, kids have a really distorted sense of time, don't they? Zoe'd probably call an ambulance on me if she ever spent a weekend at my place. Grace asks Lily if they have any ribbon for Jake's birthday present, and Lily gripes that the girls have to get dressed. They schlump out, sighing and rolling their eyes. Lily swipes at the counter in a half-hearted attempt to clean up Zoe's mess. Why she's cleaning up after Zoe, especially when the kid broke the rules and almost caused a fire, is beyond me. Oh, that's right -- it's the martyr thing to do.
Judy juggles a bag of groceries and struggles to open the back door. Is it like a rule at Manning Manor that no one shall enter through the back door unless they're simultaneously wrestling a bag of groceries? Judy drops the bag on the island and announces that she "got every kind of bagel known to man." Lily peeks in the bag and asks, "What's that?" Judy tosses the plastic deli container onto the counter and says, "Whitefish. I have no idea why I got that." Me neither. Who buys fish as an impulse purchase? They don't even keep it near the register. Which is good, obviously. Judy tugs off her coat and mutters that she didn't sleep very well. Lily says that she didn't either. At the same time, they both announce they had the strangest dream. Lily says she dreamt that "this huge truck just drove through our living room without any warning." Lily stares off, pondering its implications. Judy asks, "No train in the tunnel?" Ew. She bitterly mutters that she dreamt the world ended, and she was somehow responsible. Judy, get thee to Dr. Wise-ass. Seriously. I mean, I like you and everything, but the whole long-suffering, low self-esteem thing just isn't healthy. Lily jumps a little, jolted by the memory that the truck in her dream was a moving truck. Huh. Maybe she should worry about falling anvils instead of out-of-control trucks. Without missing a beat, Dr. Freud -- I mean, Judy -- asks, "And how is Rick?" "Completely awkward," Lily answers after a minute.
Grace comes flying into the kitchen, all decked out in a sassy wraparound shirt and makeup. And with her hair actually down. Around her face. She looks really good. Judy thinks so, too, and tells her that. Grace fights back her smile and tells Judy that she's working at the restaurant. "As a hostess," Lily adds. "As a person who seats people," Grace politically corrects her. Grace complains that she doesn't even know why she's doing it. "Because you made a commitment," Lily heavies. Grace knows. She just has a lot of homework and other stuff to do, too. She says she thinks she should just give Jake his present and leave. Lily points out that it was Grace's idea in the first place, not Jake's. Grace relents and says she'll go. She grabs the deli container and asks what it is, because we haven't gotten nearly enough mileage out of it yet. "Whitefish," Judy says. Grace tosses it back like it bit her. I still don't understand why Judy picked it up in the first place. I mean, it's a white, slimy chunk floating in liquid. ["I like whitefish, myself, but it's definitely an acquired taste." -- Sars] "Grace!" Lily whines, having been splashed by said fish liquid. Ack.
Rick softly pushes open the back door, no doubt trying to sneak in because he's breaking the rule. He doesn't have a bag of groceries. He does have Lily's newspaper, though, so he feels brave enough to say hello. Three pairs of eyes stare at him. Grace does not look happy to see him. She's suddenly in a big hurry to get to the restaurant and starts rushing Lily to take her. Sensing that Lily and Rick need some time, Judy jumps in and says she can take Grace, since she has to go to the bookstore anyway. Grace isn't thrilled that Judy foiled her plan to pull Lily away from Rick. As Lily plants a peck on her pouty cheek, Grace tosses Rick a dirty look. Lily mouths a "thank you" to Judy, and Grace sullenly walks out the back door, ignoring Rick's "bye." I wonder if she knows about the proposal yet? That should really liven things up.
Lily asks if Rick wants anything -- "whitefish?" Rick shudders. "Bagels?" He says he's not hungry. Lily mutters that she should have something and turns abruptly toward the cupboard. Rick takes a big breath and blurts, "I wish things would get back to normal." Lily says she'd like that, but he "changed the definition of normal." Rick takes a few steps back to lean against the counter. "Only if you'd accepted me," he says. Lily stops slicing her bagel and moves to lean to him. "I guess you need to know the answer," she says. "Not if you don't have one," he answers. She says she doesn't know what he wants her to say, and she's sorry. He says that she could have said what she felt. Hey, I was there. I think she did a pretty good job of being honest. Lily says she felt "like [he] blindsided" her. They have a defensive exchange that basically goes like, "I did?" "Yeah, you did." "I did?" "Yeah, you did." Lily says he "didn't ask [her], [he] kind of asked" her. Rick pouts that he "didn't exactly have a rule book, you know, for the…" He trails off as Zoe breezes in with a big smile and a friendly "hi." Zoe, of course, is completely oblivious to the fact that she just interrupted some heavy adult conversation, and brightly asks if they can do the cake now. She rummages around in the fridge while Lily watches Rick, her arms folded. He stares straight ahead, working the inside of his cheek with his tongue.
Cut to the restaurant, where Jake is teaching Grace the finer points of customer service. It seems like Grace has never helped in the restaurant before. Man, I'd never want my first shift to be on a busy weekend. Then again, the thought of working in a restaurant terrifies me, period. You have to be so organized and polite and put up with so much crap, and half the time you still get shafted for a tip. Anyway, Grace follows Jake diligently, seemingly unfazed by the busy pace and all the stuff Jake's yammering about. He hands her a guest check and tells her to handle it. She steps up to the computer and laughs, "Yes sir! When are we going to celebrate your birthday?" Jake snatches a bottle of wine from under the bar and distractedly surveys the packed, humming restaurant. "That will be much, much later," he mutters, and zooms off.
One of the busboys says, "Hey Grace. I see your dad has you working over there." She answers, "Hi Benny." He asks if she's doing a good job, and she says she thinks so. "Oh, I bet you are," he says, and carries away his bin of dirty dishes. "Benicio!" the chef barks. "Breeng me some plates." Benny stops with his bin, which is clearly heavy, and says that he has to clear table nineteen. The chef, who like all good television chefs is arrogant and foreign (French? Italian?), doesn't give a rat's ass what Benny has to do -- he told him to get plates. Benny sidles up to the chef's station, looking puzzled. He asks why the chef talks to him "like that." "Just get me de damn plates!" the chef yells. Jake rushes up and touches Benny's shoulder, telling him that he needs to clear table nineteen. The chef stares intensely as Benny cautiously backs away. Jake turns his attention to the chef. "Giancarlo, what are you doing?" he demands. "Notheeng!" Giancarlo claims, gesturing angrily after the busboy. "You're picking a fight with a busboy during a rush?" Jake says incredulously. "Well, ah need plates," Giancarlo says in his own defense. "Well, go get them," Jake says. "Ahm the chef," Giancarlo whines. "What are you, twelve?" Jake snaps. Giancarlo whips his towel on the counter and storms into the kitchen for his damn plates.
Grace is still at the computer. She snags Jake to tell him she can't get it to work. He handles it in a second, puts a hand on her shoulder, and leads her toward the door, suggesting that she seat the party while he delivers the guest check. Grace checks the reservation book and calls out, "Lewicki, party of..." as it dawns on her who the Lewicki is. "Hey, Manning! I didn't know you worked here," Spencer grins, shoving his hands in his pockets. She insists that he did, because he overheard her talking to someone at school about it. Unfazed, he tells her she's "delusional, clearly." All traces of the smiling hostess are gone as she leans forward and hisses, "You're not actually gonna eat here!" Spencer smiles, assures her that he is, and then puts his arm around the smiling white-haired lady to him. It's his grandma, whom he's taking to brunch for her birthday. Her seventy-fifth birthday. Because we need an elderly lady and one of Grace's friends to lend even more "tension" and humanity to the hostage situation we all know is about to unfold. Her smiling hostess persona returns as Grace addresses the grandma, who has the unlikely name of "Nana." Grace wishes her a happy birthday and then says it's her dad's birthday, too. "Well, then, it's kismet," Nana declares. Grace doesn't look so sure. Spencer asks whether their table is ready. "Absolutely, sir," Grace snots, then smiles at Nana and adds, "Right this way." Jake looks up from a table as Grace and the Lewickis walk past. He smiles proudly, and a little knowingly, as he recognizes Spencer. A loud crash and raised voices in the kitchen interrupt everything, and Jake sighs, excusing himself from the customers he's been schmoozing.
Cut to the kitchen, where Giancarlo and Benny are about to come to blows. "I'm warning you," Benny says. Giancarlo echoes him mockingly and adds, "I'm so scared you leetle retard!" Hey now, that's not very nice. Giancarlo's about to throw a punch when Jake comes through the swinging door behind him and grabs his arm. He sternly orders Giancarlo to "get out front. Now!" Benny stammers that Giancarlo pushed him, and that he was just doing what Jake asked. Jake's not interested in explanations, and wearily tells Benny to go home. Benny is agape at the injustice, pleading with Jake that it wasn't his fault. Jake crouches to pick up the smashed dishes as one of the waitresses pushes open the door to inform him of some new crisis on the floor. Jake turns back to Benny, who's still standing there looking stunned, and tells him again to go home. "Am I fired, Mr. Manning?" Benny asks, rocking back and forth a little. Jake says they'll talk about it tomorrow, but that Benny needs to go and "cool off." Benny bounces from one foot to the other, blinks a few hundred times, and makes guppy lips. Finally, he realizes that no words are going to come, and he walks away. Jake goes back to picking up the smashed dish, shaking his head a little.
Cut to the packed restaurant, where Jake is again surveying all that he commands. He snaps out of whatever reverie he's in and pats a customer on the shoulder, assuring him that everything is under control. Grace, on the other side of the restaurant, tells someone to enjoy their meal, then struts assuredly past Spencer's table, smiling to herself like she's the shit because she knows he's watching, impressed. She and Jake converge on the reservation book. "Hey, so I see your friend Lewinski's here," Jake teases. "It's Lewicki," she says with an eye roll. "Yeah I know," Jake says, starting to laugh. "Stop it, you're bothering me," Grace laughs, turning to swat at him. Jake's face turns somber. "What?" Grace asks, turning to see Tiffany standing in the doorway. Oh, good. One more familiar face, just in time for the hostage taking. Tiffany looks thrown to see Grace there, and she doesn't know what to do for a second. Then she recovers, smiles a little, and says, "Hi Jake. Grace, you look amazing!" Spencer interrupts them, having sidled up unnoticed. He asks if they have any birthday candles. Tiffany answers, telling Grace where to find them. Spencer grins and says they're "gonna need a lot of candles." Grace rolls her eyes again (she's going to get a sprain if she keeps this up) and tells him to come on.
Jake and Tiffany make awkward small talk once Grace and Spencer are gone. Then she gets to the point and says she wanted to give him something. She hands him the little leather daybook she's been clutching. She says she bought it a while ago and it's monogrammed, and she wrote all his important dates in it, so she wants him to have it. Jake stares at it, seeming genuinely moved, and tells her that it's "very sweet." Her eyes tear up a bit, and she smiles sadly as she wishes him a happy birthday. He asks if she wants something to eat, and then says she has to stay for a drink, at least. She looks grave and says, "Well, Jake, the thing is, there's something I want to tell you..."
And cue the unstable busboy. He interrupts before Tiffany can finish dispensing the news, pushing his way through the customers waiting in the foyer. He storms past Jake without a glance. Jake tells Tiffany to wait just a second and tears off after Benny, who's striding around the restaurant searching for someone. Jake intercepts him, but Benny's not going to be deterred. He tells Jake to get out of his way. But he does say please, so at least he's not mentally unsound and rude. Jake physically restrains Benny and tells him to go home. Benny says he's going to talk to Giancarlo, and then he'll leave. "Okay, okay, let's go," Jake says quietly, trying to force Benny toward the door. Benny wrenches himself free and then yanks a small gun -- a pistol? -- from his pocket, brandishing it to let everyone know he means business. A woman shrieks, and a tense buzz moves through the restaurant. Benny demands to see Giancarlo. Meanwhile, customers are sneaking toward the front door. Benny gets wise to this movement and spins around, ordering everybody to freeze. Benny is clearly growing agitated and looks a little like a caged animal. Jake talks to him soothingly.
A waiter rushes into the kitchen, announcing in hushed tones that "Benny came back." Grace and Spencer stop and look up from the slice of cake they're adorning with candles. The waiter adds that Benny "pulled a gun on Jake." He then says they've all got to get out of there, and leads a stampede for the back door. Grace wants to know where her dad is, but suddenly there's no one there to answer her.
Jake is still where we left him, staring down the barrel of a gun. Benny is shouting that he wants to see Giancarlo, and he wants to see him now. Jake glances around the restaurant, hoping he can remain cool despite the fresh load in his pants. "Okay, okay," he keeps repeating, softly, as we fade to black and head to commercials.
When we return, the camera pans over terrified customers crouching to their tables. It moves over their heads to the center of the restaurant, where Benny and his gun are holding court. He assures Jake that he'll leave as soon as he talks to Giancarlo. Grace and Spencer watch the scene through the kitchen door, then jump back as Benny slams into the kitchen. He glances around and asks where Giancarlo is. Grace says he isn't there. Benny registers this news for a second, then turns and abruptly heads back into the restaurant, his gun raised near his shoulder. He finds the customers in the midst of skedaddling. Man, good hostages are so hard to find. Jake rushes out behind him, saying, "Benny, what are you doing? You're scaring people!" Benny's still going on about Giancarlo, and I have to say, this kid is starting to give me a headache. He shuts up about it for a few seconds and watches the customers fleeing.
Then Benny seems to register what's happening and shouts, "Wait! Stop!" Oddly, no one listens to the little man-child with the gun. He takes a few steps toward the throng, getting really agitated and yelling for them to stop. They don't. He pleads with Jake to "tell them to stop." Now that's just sad. Jake remains silent. Benny shrugs his arms helplessly for a second, then seems to remember that he's holding an instrument of death. He raises it above his head and fires a round into the ceiling. Well, now, that got their attention. Everyone stops. "Okay, no one's going anywhere! No one's going anywhere!" Jake yells, suddenly realizing this is serious, and holding up his arm in demand of calm. The camera cuts to the terrified expression of a dark-haired Jan Hooks-type girl in a turtleneck sweater. I'm not sure, but I think they recycled this clip from earlier. Anyway, Benny turns back to Jake and shouts, "Where did he go?" Jake yells that he doesn't know, but they'll find Giancarlo and get him to come down there. Yeah, I bet Giancarlo is in a big hurry to talk to the irrational gun-waving kid he's bullied on a daily basis. Jake yells, "This has nothing to do with these people." Benny shouts back, "I know that!" Jake bellows, "Then put the gun away!" I wish they'd lower their voices.
We cut back to Jan Hooks, who's grimacing this time. I wonder if she's involved with the show behind the scenes, like a writer or something, and that's why they keep showing her. Jake, thankfully, does lower his voice, and tries talking rationally to Benny, saying that he and Benny and Giancarlo will go sit in his office and talk things out. Benny stares back at Jake with eyes that appear to be coal black. Creepy. He looks suspicious. "You'll call him?" he asks, breathing hard. Jake assures him that he will. Benny shifts his eyes around, thinking it over. Jake keeps talking to him in a soothing voice. Benny starts slowly lowering his gun, looking torn between believing Jake and worrying that this all seems too easy. Jake reaches forward, about to remove the gun from Benny's grip.
And there are the police sirens, right on schedule. You didn't think they'd resolve things that easily, did you? Benny flinches away from Jake just before Jake can grab the gun. Benny starts panicking, telling Jake to lock the door. Benny marches behind Jake, making sure the door is indeed bolted. Note that the doors are glass. Where the hell are the sharpshooters when you need them? A couple of cop cars pull into the parking lot, and the cops leap out, assuming their position behind the cars' open doors. Many more sirens can be heard in the distance. Oh, this does not look good, does it? Benny leads Jake back into the restaurant, and Jake asks, "Benny, what are you doing?" Benny paces around a bit, waving his arms and letting us all know that he's desperate and didn't really plan this out too well. He tells Jake to shut up and give him a minute to think. He breathes heavily for a few seconds, and glances around before ordering everyone down on the floor. Everyone but Jake. He orders Tiffany to get him a glass of water. Jake tries talking to Benny again, but Benny snaps at him to (say it with me) "shut up and let [him] think." He then has a major brain wave and tells Jake to go and lock the back door. Jake looks reluctant, then turns, muttering apologies to the customers over whom he's stepping on his way to the kitchen. The sirens are still wailing in the background, as even more cops arrive. As he passes Grace, Jake touches her shoulder reassuringly. She looks up at him, grimacing as she fights back tears.
Cut to a small white television showing two cartoon pigs laughing heartily. Zoe's in the kitchen, watching, as Rick gets a call on his cell phone. The happy cartoon music plays as he struggles to make out what Karen is telling him. Lily watches closely as Rick says, "What?!" Zoe's cartoons are interrupted to show a reporter standing outside Phil's, surrounded by police cars. "Is that our restaurant?" she asks Lily. Lily's face blanches (which is really a credit to Sela) as she registers what is happening. She blindly flings her arm at Rick, not taking her eyes of the TV screen for a second. She and Zoe stare, dazed, at the set, while Rick sports his befuddled look. "Lily?" Judy calls out, her voice shaking. She rushes into the kitchen and stops short when she sees their faces, realizing that whatever she just heard is, in fact, true.
Back at Phil's, more cops are arriving, and someone's busy stringing police tape across the parking lot. Inside, everyone's huddled on the floor, looking miserable. Tiffany distributes glasses of water. Jake is on the phone, looking weary and frustrated. We can hear that the call is ringing and ringing and ringing without being answered. He informs Benny that Giancarlo isn't there. Well, there's a shocker. Benny's not so quick to trust Jake anymore, though, and grabs the receiver to listen for himself. "Doesn't he have an answering machine?" he asks before slamming the phone down. Well, let's say he did. What kind of message would you leave him? "Come on down here, where I'm holding all these people at gunpoint so I can put a bullet in -- I mean, talk to you"? We can tell that Benny's feeling the pressure because he's removed his sad gray parka and his bow tie, and he's unbuttoned his shirt. Any second now, that little Degree stress meter is going pop up in the corner going, "Whoop...whoopwhoopwhooopwhoopwhooooooop!" Jake rests on the counter, looking totally wiped out. He rubs his face.
Benny starts pacing around again, trying to convince Jake that he's really not such a bad guy. That things happen around the restaurant that Jake doesn't even know about. That Benny isn't the only person who complains about Giancarlo. Well, that may be, kiddo, but you're the only one here waving a freaking gun, so the sympathy? It's kind of in short supply. Benny looks like he's going to cry as he complains that Giancarlo is so mean to him, and "every day he finds the one thing [Benny] does wrong, no matter how hard [Benny tries]." Jake just keeps his head lowered, staring at the floor. Benny paces a few steps and says, "This wasn't supposed to happen. And, you know, now you're gonna fire me and keep him." Dude, did you think that waving a gun around in the middle of a brunch rush was going to get you promoted? He then whines that he was "supposed to move out this month. I mean, who's going to rent me an apartment now?" Well, I bet the state of Illinois would be happy to supply you with a place, Benny. Fully furnished and everything. Jake tries to blow it off like Benny's overreacting, and the situation hasn't gotten that out of hand. Benny demands to know where he's going to get another job and money. He's really annoying. Like, trying to garner sympathy from a hostage? Oh, boo hoo. As if Jake's going to say, "Benny, what are you talking about? You've shown great initiative and organizational skills here today. I'd be crazy to let you go!" Thank god, the phone rings and interrupts Benny's pity party, table for one.
Jake asks whether Benny's going to answer the phone. Benny says he doesn't want to talk to anyone. I thought he was busting a nut to talk to Giancarlo. This boy should make up his mind. Jake asks if he can answer it; Benny breathes hard (some more), rubs his forehead, and waves his arms before telling Jake to go ahead. It's the cops. I don't know why, but it strikes me as funny when Jake tries to pass the phone to Benny, saying, "They'd like to talk to you." It's all so polite. Benny asks Jake what they want. Jake looks at him for a second, slowly puts the phone back to his ear, and says, "Benny would like to know what you want." Jake holds out the phone again, saying, "They want to know what you want." Oh Christ. Here goes Benny again, shouting about how he wants to talk to Giancarlo; he wants them to bring him down there so he can talk to them; blah blah blah please-somebody-cue-the-sniper cakes. Jake speaks into the phone, translating Benny's little rant for the cop on the other end, and telling him Giancarlo's phone number. We cut quickly to Spencer's grandma, who's not looking so hot. She looks weak and like she's having trouble breathing. Then back to Jake, who's confirming the information the cop is reciting back to him. Benny, meanwhile, pouts and looks sullen. Jake holds out the phone to Benny again, saying quietly that there's a man who'd like to talk to him about what he's doing. Benny grabs the phone and barks, "Find him and bring him here," before slamming it down. It begins ringing again immediately. Can't these cops take a hint? Benny yanks out the cord. Other phones continue ringing throughout the restaurant, and he strides around, ripping them from the wall. Still more sirens sound in the background. Seriously, the cop cars must be thirty deep in that parking lot by now.
From the office where he's yanking yet another phone from the wall, Benny glances out the window at all the flashing lights. Huh. There's only like four cars out there, with two more pulling up. So who's making all the noise? "Dammit," Benny sighs. He strides back into the restaurant and paces around, looking flustered again. He rocks from one foot to the other and glances from side to side. Jake tentatively approaches him and says, "Benny, I know this is a mess right now, but I do think it'd be easier if you just let everyone go." Benny says he doesn't know. He starts whining that he doesn't "even know why the police are here. I'm not a bad person. This is not...like I would do something." Jake takes his cue: "Of course not! Of course not, Benny. I know that! But they don't know you. That's why you need to prove to them that you're not going to hurt anybody and let everyone go." He tells Benny to keep him, and they'll work it out. Benny ponders for a second, trying to reconcile it with whatever else is going on in his scary, scary head. Jake kicks it up a notch, pointing out that Benny is holding children hostage. Whoa, pal. "I'm not holding anyone hostage," Benny asserts. "I wouldn't do that!" Clearly. I guess everyone's just misunderstood the gun waving, warning shot, and orders not to leave. Or move, even.
Jake agrees with Benny that he's not holding anyone hostage, and pulls the keys out of his pocket. He walks purposefully toward the door, saying, "Just the kids," as Benny follows, protesting. Jake ignores Benny's orders to stop until Benny finally shouts, "You have to listen to me!" Sigh. Did this kid's parents totally ignore him, or what? Oh, but wait. That's blaming the parents, so never mind. Jake spins around and demands, "What is the matter with you?" Benny answers by aiming his gun at Jake's face and declaring, "Nobody's going!" Jake holds up his hand to placate Benny, inadvertently flashing him the peace sign. "Daddy!" Grace cries. Tiffany stands by a post, looking strangely calm. I say "strangely" because I don't think it was the actress's intention. Benny rips the keys from Jake's hand and backs away, ordering him again to stay away and just let Benny think. Again. Some more. Benny turns off the lights and then settles uneasily to think. Jake sinks to the floor, weary. In the background, a few people start crying. I'm guessing it's because they're sick of hearing Benny's tired, tired dialogue.
After commercials, it's dark outside, so I guess the hostage thing has been going on for a long time. And it took Lily all day to drive from Manning Manor to the restaurant. Lily rushes up to a cop, closely followed by Rick. She's frantically asking to be let through the barricade because it's her family's restaurant and she needs to know if her daughter is inside. A high-ranking cop overhears and calls out that it's okay to let her through. The man introduces himself as "Captain Patterson," and they shake hands. He says he believes Lily's daughter is still inside. Lily reels from the news. The captain introduces her to a hostage negotiator, who tells her that it's a difficult situation and their first priority is everyone's safety. I didn't catch this cop's name, but Captain Obvious seems somehow appropriate. Lily asks if her daughter is okay. The negotiator tells Lily that as far as they know, everyone inside is fine, and she asks about Jake's temperament -- whether he remains cool in stressful situations. Lily says he does, and that he's always been good in emergencies.
Inside, Jake paces around helplessly. He moves to Tiffany, who has taken a seat on the floor, and rubs her shoulders reassuringly. She says, "This is the strangest thing that's ever happened to me." Somehow, that surprises me. I mean, this is Tiffany. Jake agrees that it's pretty weird. "They're not going to let Giancarlo in here. What are we going to do?" Tiffany asks. Jake shrugs and says he guesses they'll just have to wait until Benny gets tired. As they continue discussing the situation, Grace gives them a sidelong glance, no doubt taking in the very intimate nature of their body language. She looks a little irked.
Spencer's grandma, meanwhile, just won't make things easy for the poor busboy. She just insists on having heart trouble. Seriously, she's looking pretty weak, and Spencer looks scared. Grace notices and calls for Jake's help. Spencer tells Jake, "Her angina's bothering her, and she's sweating." From his perch at the bar, Benny asks what's the matter with her. Spencer tells him that she has heart trouble. Jake looks up pleadingly: "She shouldn't be on the floor, Benny. Nobody should." Benny just looks at him. Jake stands up and says that he's going to put her in a chair. "Fine," Benny says, disinterested. After they get Nana seated, Jake says that everybody should be in chairs, "just until Giancarlo comes." Benny waves his hand dismissively and says, "Whatever." Everybody gets up slowly, moaning and groaning about their aching bodies, when Jake's cell phone rings. He does the smart thing and holds it out to Benny, asking if he should answer it. Benny sighs and says yes.
It's Captain Obvious, whose real name is Lt. Sadaquoy. She asks Jake if everyone is okay, and he says they are. She asks whether Benny knows that Jake is speaking to her, and Jake says yes, "Benny's right here," as he moves toward him. He hasn't taken his eyes off Benny. She asks if Benny will talk to her, and Jake wordlessly holds out the phone. Benny's reluctant, but Jake tells him, "It's not the same guy as before, okay? It's a woman. She sounds nice. Maybe she can help." Benny takes the phone, and the negotiator asks if everything is all right, and if there's anything she can get him. Oh, will these people never learn? There goes Benny again with his crazy Giancarlo talk. She says they're working on it, but they haven't been able to find the asshole chef yet. Benny wants to know why they just don't go away until he comes, then. Benny, dude, you really are an idiot. She plays it a little cooler than me, though, telling him they can't do that until he does something for them -- he needs to unlock the door and let everyone go. See, that's why she's the negotiator, and I'm not. I have no patience for morons. Benny asks again why they can't just go away if he promises to let everyone go. Benny just doesn't understand how little the word of a gun-wielding maniac counts for these days. She suggests that he let her come inside so they can talk about it in person. Benny's two brain cells finally find each other and rub together. He says that she's trying to trick him, not help. He says that he already told her what would help, and she's not listening, so why bother even asking. He's yelling by the end of it, and angrily looks at the phone, searching in vain for the "off" button. Unable to find it, he thrusts it at Jake, barking, "Turn this thing off." Jake just makes it look like he does, though, so the police can still hear everything going on. Or, so they "have ears," as they apparently like to say. Benny then demands to have the phone back, and Jake's tighty-whities aren't so white anymore. Benny doesn't even look at the phone though, forgetting, I guess, that he doesn't trust anyone, and just sticks it in his shirt pocket. Which makes it nice and easy for the cops to hear everything.
Lily and Rick, meanwhile, are huddled together, watching the action. Lily's playing the blame game. She says that Grace didn't even want to work today, but she made her. "So it's all your fault, then," Rick says. He hugs her tightly and murmurs, "It's okay" a couple times before kissing the side of her head. Lily just stares straight ahead like he's not even there. Which is not to say that she's an asshole. It's a perfectly natural way to behave when you're in shock. So I think we can let it slide. This time.
Meanwhile, Benny's pouting at a table, contemplating the tablecloth and what an ass he is. He looks up and announces that he's hungry. Jake says, "I think we could all use something to eat." He suggests whipping up a little something -- "carbonara?" -- for everyone. Benny doesn't like it. He doesn't like it a bit, see. He tells Grace to go and get the birthday cake, and "anyone who wants some can have some." She grabs Jake's hand and they're about to head off together, but Benny doesn't like that either. He tells her to take Spencer instead. And in an especially decisive show of authority, Benny barks out one more order, raised warning finger and all: "No ice cream." Grace and Spencer head to the kitchen. Benny, the non-dairy tyrant, stares hard at Jake.
In the kitchen, Grace mutters, "I can't believe this," as she sets about grabbing plates and a cutter for the cake. I can't either. Unless Grace is the second coming, I don't see how that one little round cake is going to be enough for everyone, but whatever. Spencer says he's not surprised by it, since he expects someone with a gun to burst in all the time, no matter where he is. Or that a tornado is going to strike, or his parents are going to be killed in a car accident. "I have trouble believing the world can exist without a catastrophe," he says earnestly. Grace pauses while cutting the cake and ponders for a second before admitting, "I'm really scared of tidal waves." Spencer deadpans, "It's a particular danger in Chicago." Grace gives him a tiny smile.
Out in the parking lot, the camera pans the crowd huddled along the barricade, landing finally on Wannabe, who's being interviewed for the news. "I mean, I know her. She's a strong person," she tells the reporter. "And when they say 'grace under pressure,' that's completely who she is." Dammit, you know I really want to say something cutting here, because it's Wannabe and all, but I just can't. That was nice, what she said. Although, I guess she can't be all that torn up about things if she's willing to dish out sound bites for the eleven o'clock news. Hey, yeah! Nice try with the compliments, Wannabe, but that was just crass, you classless ass.
Back in the pressure cooker, Benny's scavenging cake. "You gonna eat that?" he asks one lady, and scoops her dessert. He digs in as Tiffany sidles up to Jake. She takes a seat to him and starts in again with the "there's something I have to tell you" bit. She says she "kind of chickened out before," but now that she could die at any second, I guess, she feels like she might as well tell him. "What?" Jake says mildly, smiling. Tiffany takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and dives in: "I'm pregnant." She opens her eyes and looks cautiously at Jake. His countenance is frozen. Tiffany's face falls a little as she registers his absence of a reaction. She glances at the floor then straight ahead, and her eyes are burning like she's thinking she knew he'd be a dick about it. "Oh," Jake finally manages, thinking maybe a bullet from Benny's gun wouldn't be so bad after all. It takes him a few more seconds of blinking and making fish lips before he can stammer, "I thought...you couldn't...that you couldn't..." Tiffany is matter-of-fact about it, shrugging and saying, "Yeah, well I couldn't, but then I did, so apparently I am." "Pregnant," Jake says, as if to be sure. "Pregnant," Tiffany repeats.
Cut to the white TV in Manning Manor's kitchen. The camera pans back, and a gorgeous fluffy white cake comes into view. Judy's leaning on the counter to it, watching the news coverage. Zoe marches resolutely into the kitchen and announces, no-nonsense, "Judy, I want to go down there." Judy, shaken, says that they can't go, and turns her attention to the cake, going at it with the frosting knife. She tries to distract Zoe with it, without luck. Zoe levels her with an insulted expression, turns on her heel, and marches out of the kitchen, announcing, "I can't just sit here." Judy races after her as Zoe heads for the front door. Zoe grabs her coat and turns to Judy, saying, "Mom just doesn't want me there in case they get shot." Her voice is choked. Judy stares at the kid, seemingly unable to speak. Zoe moves to the front door, but when she opens it, she finds Karen and Jessie standing on the stoop, reaching for the doorbell. Judy furrows her brow, looking puzzled. "We were...worried," Karen says softly. "Hey Zoe," Jessie says softly. "What are you doing here?" Zoe demands, and for the first time ever, she doesn't look happy to see Jessie. "Just wanted to see if you're okay," Jessie says. Zoe glares and storms away wordlessly. Jessie takes a tentative step and glances at Karen, who nods her encouragement. Jessie follows Zoe upstairs. Judy closes the door behind Karen, and keeps her face averted, trying not to cry. Karen puts a sympathetic hand on her shoulder and says that she's so sorry and it's just so horrible. Judy turns and puts her hand over her eyes, breaking down. "It's awful!" she sobs, as Karen envelops her in a hug. Wow, these two are good. It's the first time in the entire episode that I felt any sense of the weight of the situation. They even brought a tear to my eye, which most days is no mean feat.
We cut to the police block, where an officer is showing Lily and Rick to a squad car where they can sit and warm up. Lily doesn't want to sit down, though. She leans against the side of the car and muses about the fear she'd always felt as a mother, thinking that something bad was going to happen when Grace "crossed the street, or [Lily] left her with a sitter." She says she always knew something would happen; it was only a question of when. Well, sweeps would have been a good guess, but I suppose there's no way Lily could have known that. Rick tries to reassure her that things will be okay, and she asks, "How can you know that?"
Spencer's grandma is getting dizzy. Grace observes her and then tells Jake that she thinks the woman "needs an aspirin or something." Jake watches Nana dab at her neck with a napkin and then approaches Benny, saying, "I'm just gonna get the first-aid kit, 'kay?" Benny stands up and says no. "The kid's grandmother doesn't feel well," Jake says. The negotiator outside listens closely and looks understandably concerned. Benny says that Spencer can get it, then. Grace points out that Spencer doesn't know where it is, so Benny tells her to get it. He and Jake have a bit of a staring contest, which Jake wins.
Lily and Rick overhear an update over the police radio. A voice says that an elderly hostage is ill, and if her condition deteriorates, they'll have to go in. Suddenly, there's a whir of action around them, as the cops race to ready themselves. The voice continues about "securing the perimeter" and says something about "sharpshooters." Lily runs over to the negotiator, asking what's going on. The woman tells her not to worry, that it's just the tactical unit. "What, like the SWAT team?" Lily asks. "I thought you were still negotiating." The captain steps in, telling Lily it's no longer safe for her and Rick to be there, and he assigns an officer to show them "to a much safer area." Lily looks searchingly at the restaurant's front door. Rick gently leads her away, but she can't stop turning around to check the door, scared to take her eyes off it. SWAT team officers move into position, obscuring her view. "Oh my god!" Lily exclaims, then suddenly starts choking on the thick smoke that's suddenly invaded the area. Where the hell did that come from? I hope it's not car exhaust, because that's just gross.
We return from commercials to find Lily sitting somberly in the back of a cruiser, staring blankly. We hear a reporter saying that the hostage situation is "now in the sixth hour and negotiations have come to a stand-still. SWAT units have been deployed. We can only guess..." "We can only guess that it's just a matter of time before some action is taken," a female reporter says, overlapping the male reporter. As Lily closes her eyes, as if to shut out the reporter's voice, the camera fades in on Grace, also sitting and staring somberly. "There's still no word..." the female reporter says. "There's still no word on the condition of the hostages and emotions are running high as the waiting continues," yet another male reporter says, overlapping the female reporter. Hmm -- is this a statement on how predictable and almost clichéd news coverage has become? Grace looks wiped out as the camera fades from her to Benny. "The primary suspect, Benjamin Janetty, remains a mystery," yet another the reporter overlaps. "His profile reveals no prior arrests, no mental illness, and nothing that would indicate a propensity for violence." As his neighbor would say, "He was always such a nice, quiet boy." Nana's head starts bobbing, and her eyes are rolling back in her head. Spencer grabs her arm and looks around, frightened and helpless.
Rick brings Lily some water in the back of the squad car. "Thank you for being here with me," she says, staring at the water. "I don't know what I would do if you weren't here." Rick says there's nowhere he'd rather be. She sniffles and shakes her head, then sniffles again. "Oh, Rick, my little girl's in there," she wails. "She's in there and there's nothing I can do about it." She begins sobbing quietly, and Rick pulls her to him, making soothing sounds.
Jake approaches Tiffany, sighs, and leans against the pillar to her. She looks at him and says, "Jake, I hope you don't think I want something from you." He looks at her without speaking, so she continues, "I mean, this may be the only chance I ever have of being pregnant. It's kind of a miracle, in my opinion." Jake seems to consider this and then mutters, "Yeah, I guess it would be." Tiffany smiles and says, "I mean, we're not going to get married or anything. I just thought you should know." Jake looks at the floor then nods his head, agreeing, "Yeah, that seems fair." Grace calls him over to Spencer's grandmother, who's fading fast. Spencer looks like he's about to cry. Jake strides over to Benny, who's slumped against the wall. He tells him, "The old lady -- she's really doing worse." Benny doesn't look too concerned and asks, "What do you mean?" Jake spells it out with even smaller words: "She's sick." He adds that she needs medical attention. "Yeah, well. What do you want me to do?" Benny asks, getting up off the ground. "I mean, it's not like, I'm sorry, but I'm not, it's not like I'm in charge," he says. Jake half rolls his eyes and looks like he's just about had it with this delusional ass. Nana slumps to the table and Grace shrieks, "Dad!" Jake rushes over, and Spencer says, "She says her chest is really hurting." Jake turns and yells, "Benny, we gotta do something. I mean right now!" Benny laughs it off, shaking his head a little at the thought, and sinks helplessly to the floor. Jake looks at him, realizes he's of no use, and takes charge. He directs Grace to the kitchen to get some oxygen and orders Spencer to go with her. He and Tiffany crouch to Nana, trying to comfort her.
Grace and Spencer stumble over each other into the kitchen, and then struggle to get the oxygen tank out of its case on the wall. Grace yells to Jake that they can't get it, so he rushes in. Spencer is about to break it open, but Jake manages to unlatch the cover and release the tank. He runs back to the restaurant, and Grace is about to follow, but Spencer slumps against the wall, defeated. She hangs back with him. "She's gonna die," Spencer groans, "and I did it." Grace tells him he's wrong. Spencer rushes to the window in the swinging door, watching anxiously as Tiffany and Jake move Nana to the floor. "Come on, we'll go sit with her," Grace says, but Spencer pulls away, saying he can't handle it. Grace says that Nana's not going to die. "She wasn't feeling well, and I made her come here so I could see you," Spencer whines. Grace assures him that it'll be okay. He says he's never seen anybody die. "I'm scared, too," Grace says. Spencer evaluates her for a second and says, "No you're not." She moves in front of him and grabs his shoulders as he starts babbling that he "should've taken his gun away." He needs one of those slaps people are always dishing out in phony soap operas. Grace points out that he couldn't have done it -- even her father didn't try. He starts whining again, and to shut him up, Grace grabs him and hugs him tightly. He calms down after inhaling her hair for a few seconds. Something is dawning on Grace, judging by the look on her face. She slowly pulls back from the embrace, and pauses in front of Spencer's face, where she moves in for a kiss. Oh, brother. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that, but please.
The two emerge through the swinging doors, holding hands. Jake stands when he sees them, and moves to Benny, saying that they have to call for help. Benny flatly denies the request. "This woman is in trouble!" Jake insists. The negotiator listens, then moves to whisper something to the captain. He springs into action, and pretty soon, I think it's going to look like a row of toppling dominoes out there as all the cops ready themselves to bust in. Lily runs over, demanding to know what's going on.
"Benny, would you look at her? She can't breathe. Now give me the phone," Jake orders. The captain speaks into the bullhorn: "Benjamin Janetty!" Benny pops up, looking surprised. "What's happening?" Lily shrieks, looking helplessly around for someone who'll answer. Captain Bullhorn: "This is Captain John Patterson of the Chicago police." Jake lunges for Benny, demanding that he give him "the damn phone. She can't breathe!" Benny backs away and furrows his brow in denial: "What are you talking about? She can breathe." Jake insists that she's going to die if she doesn't get help soon. Captain Bullhorn: "We know that one of the hostages is very ill. If you do not allow medical personnel to enter the building, we will do it by force." Nice going, bigmouth. Now Benny knows there's been a leak, and it takes him a surprisingly short amount of time to realize it's the cell phone. The captain repeats his order to let the sick woman go. Rick and Lily cling to each other in the parking lot, rocking back and forth. Benny looks at the cell phone, bellows, "This thing's on," and whips it as hard as he can across the restaurant. He jabs the gun at Jake, declaring, "Okay. You're in trouble."
Benny strides toward the rest of the hostages, ordering them to move, and screaming at them to hurry up. He corrals them toward the front door, where they press helplessly against the glass. Lily and Rick stare in horror as the captain orders the officers to "stand down." Spencer and Grace hover over Nana, who's been carried to the door. Jake checks up on her, then stands and glares disgustedly at Benny. After a second, he says, "All right, this is ridiculous. This has to stop." Benny orders him to shut up. Jake's hit the boiling point, though, and says, "No, you shut up." Then his rage boils over, and he shouts, "You shut up! I'm sick of this! If you're going to act like an idiot, you're going to hear what I have to say about it." Benny levels the gun at Jake's chest: "I'm telling you: stop!" Jake's on a roll, though, and hell, he knocked up his barren ex-girlfriend, so what's a little bullet? He gestures at the hostages and says, "Look at them. They are scared to death. How dare you! How dare you involve them with your problems? Is that what your father taught you?" Benny reels backward a half step. He wavers and looks confused, asking, "What?" Jake continues, "These people, they did nothing to you. Okay, I did, so fine, keep me here. But the rest of this, Benny, it's irresponsible, all right? I'm not going to stand for it anymore." Benny wags his finger, and has a little tantrum: "You can't talk to me like that!" Jake snaps, "Why not? 'Cause it's the truth?" Benny can't meet Jake's gaze. Jake orders him to look at him, right at him. Benny reluctantly does.
"It's time for you to wake up," Jake says. "There are police out there. And they are very angry. And yeah, I'm very angry. It's time for you to do the right thing." Benny gapes at him. "Benny, you know what the right thing is. You've known it all along. You're a good boy. So come on. Do it!" Benny still stares at him. "Benny, I'm telling you, son, when this is all over, you've got nothing unless you can look back and say that you did the right thing." Benny looks down, chastised, and then slowly looks Jake in the eye. "I just want it to be over," he says numbly. Me, too, Benny. Me, too. "Exactly," Jake says, his voice full of understanding. Benny stares dully at some point on Jake's chest, then looks him in the eye. His arm suddenly pops up and he points the gun directly at Jake's chest, only a few inches away. Jake jumps and gasps, as do the rest of the hostages. "Everybody out," Benny orders, tossing Spencer the keys. "Everybody but him," he adds, looking at Jake.
The hostages spill out the front door as the officers call, "Hold your fire! Hold your fire!" Spencer holds the door for everyone, then rushes back to help his grandmother out. Tiffany and Grace are left with Jake. Grace shouts that she's not leaving, and he orders her to go. She refuses. Jake gives Tiffany a silent half-nod, and she grabs Grace around the waist and drags her out the door. Grace grabs the doorframe, but Jake peels her fingers off while she shrieks, "Get off me!" She's still shrieking, "Daddy! Daddy!" when officers surround her and Lily rushes up to the police tape to call Grace to her. (When did she end up on the other side of the barricade?) They hug across the police tape. Grace pulls away and turns back to the restaurant, crying, "Daddy's in there! Please, we have to do something!" Lily holds her while Grace breaks down. Tiffany stands silently beside them.
Inside, Jake leans exhaustedly against a post and tells Benny that he "did good." "Yeah, right," Benny says. Jake insists that he's proud of him, and apologizes for yelling. Benny eyes him coolly and says it's okay. He moves to a seat at the bar and stares at his feet. Jake says he wants to help him -- he'll get him a lawyer, and then Benny can start his life over. "Things like that don't usually work out for me," Benny says flatly. Jake tries to convince him that he doesn't know that, but Benny snaps that he does know. "You should leave, Mr. Manning," he says evenly. Jake's face changes as he realizes what Benny is saying. "Benny, come on..." he says, stepping forward. "I'll get you some help." Benny stares at him and says decisively, "No. I don't want that. Please leave." Jake begs Benny to come with him. Benny replies by again pointing the gun at Jake's chest and screaming for him to get out. They stare at one another for a few seconds, before Jake abruptly turns and moves for the door.
He pops out the door and almost gets a SWAT rifle to the gut. Again, the call of "hold your fire" circles the parking lot as Jake strides away from the door with his hands half raised. The negotiator asks him to move to her, and he turns to see more SWAT team members crowding around the door. The captain asks if there's anyone else inside. "No, just Benny." Grace cries, "Daddy!" Jake says to the captain, "What are you gonna do? He's just a kid." Grace shrieks, "Daddy!" again. Jake takes a few more steps and embraces her while Lily puts her hands over her mouth and watches, relieved. Tears stream down her face. The captain takes to the bullhorn again, ordering Benny to put down his gun and come out. The camera pans the crowd watching the door expectantly. Rick holds Lily tight. A gunshot pops, and Lily jumps. The captain closes his eyes and hangs his head, defeated. Grace covers her mouth and sobs, while Jake hugs her and Tiffany to his side.
The reporters' competing, converging voices overtake things again, spewing their trite summations of the outcome and showing us how sadly inadequate our "experience" is of these situations. The camera pans back as the voices chatter on, taking us farther and farther away.
The scene of swirling lights and cop cars and embracing victims slowly fades to a shot of the empty parking lot, where the police tape flaps in the wind before snapping and blowing away. Jake sits inside the nearly dark restaurant, surrounded by mops, buckets, and other cleaning stuff, and nurses a bottle of Jack Daniels. He looks up as a silhouette appears in front of him. It's Tiffany. She approaches him hesitantly. "Are you okay?" he asks, looking shell-shocked. She says she is and then asks, "What's that?" He says it's a present from Grace. She picks up the card and reads it aloud: "Dear Dad, What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? Love Grace." He laughs sadly at the irony of it all and then exhales loudly. "You're a real hero," Tiffany says, looking up from the card. His eyes well up, and he shakes his head a little. "I don't know why I ever thought I could make this place work," he says. Tiffany looks around, saying, "But you did make it work." "You think people are going to come back here after this? 'Oh yeah! Yeah, that's that place where the busboy blew his brains out.'" He chuckles ruefully. Tiffany looks concerned. He throws his head back, then jerks it forward again, sighing, "In one day. Just like that...there's nothing left." Tiffany looks at him, closes her eyes briefly as if gathering nerve, then looks at him again and says, "There's me." She rubs her thumb uncertainly on the table. He jerks his head around to look at her gratefully, and there are tears in his eyes. He slowly reaches out to her and pulls her close to him, her tummy level with his face. He plants a kiss on her belly, which totally gets to her, and then wraps his arms around her. He sobs as he clings to her.
We cut to Lily's bedroom, where she stands over Grace and Zoe, who are tucked in her bed. She kisses each of their foreheads and smoothes Grace's hair. She stares at them with a little smile, and then lifts her eyes, staring pensively. She closes her eyes for a second as if considering something, then opens them and cocks her head a little. She looks at the girls again, then snaps off the light and heads to the kitchen. Rick is waiting there for her. He asks how Grace is. "She was afraid to fall asleep. But she finally did," Lily says. They stand in front of one another, taking each other in. Lily puts her hands on his shoulders, as he apologizes "for all of this." "Oh, Rick," she sighs. He tells her that he's not letting her go, and she echoes that she's not letting him go. "I'm staying right here," he asserts as she overlaps, "I just want you to be with me," and he goes on, "'Cause I don't care watcha say --" She looks at him pertly and puts her left hand on her right shoulder. "What?" he says, finally realizing he hasn't heard a word she's said. She answers him by waving her fingers, drawing attention to the big fat diamond perching on her ring finger. He stares from it to her face and back again, speechless. "Oh," he finally says. "Oh?" She raises her eyebrows and smiles her assent. He takes in her face as the reality registers, and his face is pure adoration as he sighs, "Thank you." "You're welcome," she says. They kiss and then hold one another and we fade out.
Well, that was a little anticlimactic, wasn't it?