Early morning light filters through the windows of a fairly cluttered room. The camera pans to a bed and across it, where we see Karen under the covers with someone.
Black-and-white Karen makes an early entrance to ask, "What am I doing?!" I think most of us can guess.
Flesh-toned Karen, who's showing most of it by the way, extracts herself from her naked lover's grasp and starts looking for her clothes. They're scattered, indicating that it was some night. Her cell phone rings as she's dressing, and she scrambles to grab it before it wakes up her lover. It's Rick, of course, wanting to know why she's not at home. She says she left early for work and is stuck in traffic. Rick asks if she can hear him, since she's supposedly in her car and the kids are tearing around the kitchen behind him, yelping like whipped puppies. They do that a lot on this show. What I want to know is, whose parents ever let them run around the house screaming? Karen gets a beep from another call and puts Rick on hold. It's her secretary, who also wants to know why she's not at home. Like it's any of her business. She also wants to know why Karen's whispering. Stuttering and flustered, Karen says she's not, and she'll be in soon. She clicks back to tell Rick she'll pick up Jessie after tae kwon do that night.
Her young stud awakens and tells her she's "so cute." Surprisingly, she says that's not something she hears very often. He asks her to stay and she puts up a bit of resistance. In the end, she gives in and agrees to stay for some Frosted Flakes, which I think is some kind of code for "quickie."
Cut to Karen getting changed in her car and muttering, "What are you doing?" Why didn't she just get changed in buddy's apartment?
Inside her office, a man with whom she has a meeting good-naturedly points out that she's late. He also notices her cheeks are nice and rosy. International sign for "freshly laid," my friend. The annoying secretary pops in to ask the guy a question, and Karen snags the opportunity to finish buttoning her sweater.
Black-and-white Karen tells us she's not a spontaneous person. Yeah, we've already got that covered, but thanks. She says she needs to have parameters in her life, even though she knows how uptight that sounds. Her voice shakes during this defensive little exercise, suggesting that maybe sex with a younger man somehow falls outside her safe boundaries. I really don't see what the big deal is, but clearly I'm supposed to, so I'll play along.
Cut to Eli and his friend Creep (Coop), who irritates me to the core. Not only does he look like a cross between Screech and Kirk Cameron (just think happy thoughts and wait for the nausea to pass), he embodies that juvenile "get laid, go team" jock buffoon stereotype that I just love to hate. Anyway, it's after school, and the two of them are in a music store reveling in the token adolescent-male dream of starting a band -- probably because Creep the walking hormone has figured out it's a good way to score chicks (and I have to imagine he needs all the help he can get). So Creep's walking around waving a pair of drumsticks like he's having a seizure -- his really pathetic attempt at air drumming -- and he makes some suggestive remark about what a teacher was wearing. Eli starts wailing (hah!) on an electric guitar as Creep blatantly eyeballs some girl walking by. If I could, I'd smack him. Hard. Another guy walks up and tells Eli that "they suck." Thanks for the update. Apparently they know this guy -- he graduated from their high school the year before. He's with a girl who's way too cool and above all this, and the guy tells Eli they're in a band together. They're playing the night at a bar called the Doghouse. They tell Eli he should check it out. After they leave, Eli and Creep realize they've missed their basketball practice. They also realize they don't care.
At her tae kwon do class, Jessie's talking to her friend Toby. She tells him she's sparring with a guy named Paul, who looks older and considerably larger. Toby's eyes bulge and you can almost hear him gulp. Paul approaches and dismisses Toby with some "grasshopper" crack. "Hey! You're not supposed to call me that!" Toby whines in a pathetically misguided attempt to win respect. Paul asks Jessie if she's ready for the black-belt test on Saturday. He basically tries to scare her while seeming friendly. As they line up on the sparring mat, Paul tells Jessie he'll go easy on her, but she very coolly says that won't be necessary. They get called out to spar, and Jessie proceeds to kick the cocky bastard's ass. After getting flattened, the big suck refuses to accept her hand up. She should kick his ass again, the big baby.
Karen walks in and sits down to watch the sparring. Naomi spots her and comes over to talk. Turns out they're good friends but haven't seen each other in a while. Naomi closely examines Karen and repeatedly tells her how good she looks. Finally, something clicks, and she knowingly asks if Karen's having sex. Karen's flustered reaction tells her everything she needs to know. "Go ahead, Lloyd," Naomi cheers enthusiastically. Um, not quite. Karen's evasive about the man-child's identity, telling Naomi he's hard to describe (without giving away the fact that he's a young'un, you mean). She says she's not sure where things are going, or where she wants them to go. She does admit that the mystery man is a doctor. Jessie joins the women, and Naomi tells her how good she is and then commits the worst sin imaginable for the mother of a pre-pubescent boy: She tells Jessie she thinks Toby may be a little scared of her. Toby overhears this betrayal of his budding manhood and is suitably mortified.
Jessie goes to grab her jacket from the coat rack and ends up to Paul. He ignores her when she speaks to him, and simply walks away. Apparently Paul is a really sore loser, especially when he loses to a girl. His mother must be so proud.
Later that night, Jessie is studying for her black-belt test while Karen flaps around the kitchen making dinner. We are supposed to notice how off-the-wall she is because she's leaving the stove on, and she's running back and forth, and she's not really paying much attention to Jessie's questions. Eli's coach calls to find out why he skipped practice, but Karen knows nothing about it. Jessie gets frustrated with studying her tae kwon do books and says she thinks she may fail the test. Karen distractedly answers that maybe she should stop jerking around then. I don't think this response is what Jessie had in mind.
Eli comes in as Jessie leaves the kitchen, and Karen asks why he missed practice. Eli tells her not to worry about it, and she says she's not. She just wonders why he missed it, and maybe where he was. Oh, well, as long as you're not worried....Eli asks if she's okay. He can tell something's different too, but he can't put his finger on it. Thank god -- it would be a little awkward to watch him grind his mom the way Naomi did. He just points out she's not as organized as she usually is.
Black-and-white Karen butts in to share way more than anyone ever cared to know about her underwear. She's a "rotater," which means she always puts the freshly washed underwear to the bottom of the pile so that it all gets worn equally. She says it makes sense if you think about it. Hey, I'm not arguing with her. I'm too busy processing the fact that she can actually get underwear to fit over that rather large pole that's always up her ass. Maybe she has it specially made?
Close-up of a pot full of gooey stuff boiling over on the stove. This little image is meant to reinforce the fact that the underwear-rotating side of Karen is a little lost at the moment. Karen rushes to grab the pot.
Black-and-white Karen then comes back to clarify her point about the underwear, just in case we got the idea that she's uptight or something. Which is uptight in its own right. She lets us know that she's not a "strict rotater." Sometimes she takes out her favorite underwear first. Whoa now, that changes everything. But does she know what a slippery slope she's on? One minute you're wearing your underwear out of order, and thing you know, you're swiggin' whisky from the bottle and holding up the Hasty Mart with a sawed-off.
Cut to Karen running to answer the door. It's Leo -- the young naked doctor, only this time he's wearing clothes. And a cycling helmet. He wheels in his bike, oblivious to the fact that Karen is struck dumb by the sight of him. He'd asked her earlier what she was doing that night, and apparently interpreted her response of "make dinner for my kids, maybe do a load of laundry" to mean "not a lot, feel free to drop by unexpectedly." He points out that she has potatoes in her hair (what wild woman doesn't?) and they laugh, which breaks the tension. She asks if he's hungry, nervously looks around, and heads into the kitchen. He looks around too and then follows her.
After commercials, we find ourselves at the dinner table with the four of them: Karen, Eli, Jessie, and Leo. The kids watch in awe, and Karen looks extremely uncomfortable, as Leo woofs, slurps, sucks, and generally inhales everything on the table. He's moaning and grabbing at food like a starving man, prompting Jessie to ask if he's homeless. Actually, the question was probably prompted by his table manners and the fact that he's sporting one of those scruffy pseudo-beards. He tells them he lives in the city, and Eli is amazed that he rode his bike all that way. "Anybody want this?" Leo asks, pawing the last biscuit. Uh no, you take it. Really. Jessie wants to know how Leo and Karen know each other. From work, Karen says quickly. Eli asks if Leo is a lawyer. No, Leo laughs, he's a doctor. Jessie thinks that's cool, especially for "someone so young." Apparently Karen's feeling the heat, and she gets up to get more ice.
While she's gone, Leo demonstrates just how close he is to the maturity level of the kids. Jessie asks him to look at her thumb, which she thinks she jammed at tae kwon do. He wiggles it around and asks her if it hurts. When she says no, he says it's fine. Jessie insists he didn't really look at it. He did so, he says defensively. Jessie asks if he's a real doctor, or just some optometrist. He's "like, a real MD" he sneers, and then challenges her by asking, "What belt are you?" Eli says she's going for her black belt on Saturday, and Leo pops up, pulls his shirt up, and slaps his bare, hairy (and remarkably taut) belly. He tells Jessie to give him her best shot. She deals him a blow that makes him grunt like a wheezy pig and takes his breath away. But he still insists she didn't hurt him. What is it with male pride macho bullshit on this episode? Then again, everyone who displays it does have the maturity level of a thirteen-year-old. Sucking up the pain, Leo tries to create a diversion by grabbing a nearby basketball. He asks Jessie if it's hers, and you can tell he's dying to kick her ass and reclaim his manhood. When he learns it's Eli's, Leo challenges him to "shoot some hoop." Why not? After the free, home-cooked meal you just invited yourself to, the dishes will naturally wash themselves, right? Karen asks where they're going -- you can tell she's not impressed that Leo hasn't even thought to help her clean up -- and then reminds Eli he's got homework. Leo promises they'll just be a few minutes, kisses her on the cheek, and tells her dinner was great. Then he goes to play. Jessie looks knowingly at her mom.
Out on the driveway, it becomes apparent inside of a second or two that Leo is going to get his butt soundly whupped. Eli's moderately sneaky deek sends Leo falling face-first onto the pavement, which is embarrassing enough, but he compounds it by insisting he's still going to beat the kid.
Inside, Jessie's eating ice cream straight from the container. Again, I wonder, whose parents let the do this? My childhood wasn't exactly boot camp, but I was expected to eat off dishes and not stick my germ-encrusted, saliva-coated utensils into communal food supplies. Jessie's standing with her back to Karen. She looks up with a devilish little grin and asks Karen if Leo is her boyfriend. Karen pretends not to hear her, so Jessie asks her again. Karen says no, and Jessie says she thinks Leo likes her. Karen tells Jessie to get back to studying for her tae kwon do test. Jessie would, but she's conveniently forgotten one of her books in Rick's car, and damn, you know, he's not home. Karen tells her to call his cell phone. Jessie would, but you know, it's not like it's an emergency or anything. Karen shoves -- yes shoves -- Jessie away from the phone and calls Rick.
Rick's having a hot and steamy date with Lily. They're sitting in his truck eating ice cream. He tells Karen he's got the book, and he can bring it by in a few minutes -- he's right around the corner. Oh that's okay, she stutters, thinking of the man-child in the driveway --she'll pick it up in the morning. Rick won't hear of it, he'll be there in two minutes. Weakly, Karen hangs up the phone.
Outside, Leo's choking on Eli's smoke when Rick pulls up. Leo walks over to introduce himself to Rick. He notices Lily in the truck and, à la Bart Simpson, says something like "who the hell are you?" Karen comes flying down the front steps, too late to avert the disaster, and Leo tells her Eli won. He drapes his arm over her shoulder and says he's not as young as he used to be before giving her a kiss on the cheek. Karen looks like she'd rather be just about anywhere else and then bolts for the house, calling over her shoulder for Leo to follow her like a good boy.
Rick climbs into the truck looking shell-shocked while Lily grins from ear to ear. "Good for her, huh?" she says, on behalf of older women everywhere, I guess. I imagine women around the nation cheering and high-fiving in a show of solidarity. Okay, no I don't. "What do you mean?" Rick asks. Lily says Leo's obviously not her type, but good for Karen. Oddly, Rick still fails to share her enthusiasm for his ex-wife's new beau. He's staring up at the house and Lily looks at him with a knowing smile. She can tell he's jealous, but she's secure enough in her Sela-ness to find it cute. She knows she's got nothing to worry about.
Inside, Karen's furiously scrubbing one of those stubborn, baked-on messes, and Leo walks into the kitchen behind her. He tells her not to worry -- he's not going to stay overnight. No, he's not, Karen says emphatically, letting him know it was never even a germ of an option. She tries to explain to him that "this is [her] life. [She] has domestic things that [she] does," and it's inappropriate for him to show up uninvited. Leo thinks this is ridiculous. She explains that she has to have boundaries -- that their relationship needs to fit in a compartment that's separate from her home and work life. Leo tells her that's no way to live. She tells him there's a line between being a parent and not, and it's not easy for her to do.... "What you want?" Leo finishes. He says that just because she's a parent it doesn't mean she has to stop being a person. Thankfully, they start kissing which means they're unable to continue their "I'm a free spirit," "Well, I'm a grown-up" conversation. Karen breaks the kiss abruptly when she hears Eli walk past the kitchen. Leo takes his cue and leaves. Not before crashing and banging his bike in the doorway, though. A sassy little maneuver on the writers' part to let us know that Leo's busting in all over Karen's neat and tidy life (like the Cat in the Hat, get it? Somehow the show's writers saw the connection). Oh, and Karen's cringing reaction? That's to let us know she's not exactly comfortable with it. Just in case we were watching some other show for the past forty minutes.
After commercials, we return to find Jessie trying to convince Karen that her thumb is swollen and she might have to skip her tae kwon do class that night. Always helpful, Karen reminds her that her test is the morning, and she thinks Jessie would want to practice as much as she could. Jessie gets agitated, and Karen can tell there's more to it than a sore thumb, but Jessie doesn't care to share.
Eli comes in and asks Karen if he can borrow the car the night. Karen wants to know why and where he's going. Eli launches a circuitous explanation meant to distract Karen and deflect attention from the fact that he wants to venture into the big bad city. Karen cuts through it all, though, and says she doesn't want him driving alone downtown at night. Eli insists they're going to a safe neighborhood, so Karen says that she'd be happy to drop him off if Creep's mom will pick them up. Eli would, of course, rather eat his head than get dropped off by mommy in front of a club, so he shifts into spoiled-brat mode by having a tantrum. He wants to know why he can't just get his own way, especially since he was so honest and up-front with her about his plans (aside from the fact that he neglected to mention he's going to a bar with the rather dubious name of Doghouse). He acts all insulted that she's saying no, and when she says they can talk about it and try to compromise, he tells her to forget it. He insists it's a waste of time since she won't budge -- she never does. Eli sulks off to go suck his thumb or something.
Black-and-white Karen shows us the inner workings of a type-A control freak by admitting that she's terrified someone will figure out she has no idea what she's doing.
Now Karen's at work, looking clenched and stupefied at the sight of Leo wheeling his bike into her office. She's very stiff with him, and he doesn't get why. After a few moments, he plops a contract from his hospital onto her desk and asks if she can look at it (with the requisite free-spirit comment that he "hates signing things"). She stammers that she can, but not at the moment. Leo clues in and smirks, saying she thought he was there to make out. She says no. He says yes. She says no. He prowls around to her side of the desk and gropes at her, suggesting they go to his place for lunch. Which I suspect amounts to the same thing as Frosted Flakes. Karen breaks away and moves to the other side of the office. She tells him she feels uncomfortable, that she needs control in her life. He wants to know why, like she's just said she needs a three-headed, hairless, albino chihuahua with four broken legs in her life. Then he apologizes and says he can't help it if he's impulsive (he doesn't seem to realize that there's a fine line between impulsive and inconsiderate). She says that's one of the things she likes about him, and they get all "aw, shucks, you like me?" Leo asks if he can move closer and promises he won't be inappropriate. She hedges by saying that it's fine to be all touchy when they're "out in the world" and he says he understands. He moves slowly towards her, and says she wants to kiss him, doesn't she? She says no. He says yes. She says no. He says yes infinity, stamped it, no erasies. So she has no choice but to admit that she does, in fact, want to kiss him. He leans in as if he's going to plant one, then stops, smirks and says, "You know? Now's not really so good for me." They laugh, and he says maybe later, when they're out in the world, and then wheels his bicycle out of her office.
Jessie's made it to practice after all, and she's kicking the hell out of a big weight bag. Paul makes a point of walking past without speaking to her, and Toby comes up after to say he thinks Paul's mad because she "kicked his butt." Jessie denies kicking his butt and says she doesn't care. The teacher strolls past and lets her know that she'll be sparring with Paul again, since they're such a good match (oh, the irony!). This time, Jessie lets the big doof beat her -- she doesn't even try to hit him back. He finishes the sparring match by kicking her on the chest and knocking her down, hard. Karen walks in just as he does this, and on the way to the car asks Jessie if she's okay. She says the kick looked like it hurt, but Jessie says she doesn't know what she's talking about and she doesn't feel like getting into it.
Cut to Eli talking to Rick in his best slippery weasel voice. He's asking if he can use Rick's truck to go see a band. He conveniently forgets to mention that Karen already vetoed the idea. Rick says okay, the guy in the band seems like a nice kid and, what the hell, he's a big pushover, right? He tosses Eli the keys and, fine young man that he is, Eli says he'll put gas in it. Rick asks if he's got money, and Eli says nah, but he's got Karen's gas card. Rick says he better not "do that" and gives him some cash. Then he asks Eli how Karen's doing. Eli says she's okay and mentions her new "friend." He tells Rick he's a doctor, even though he seems pretty young. With a big smile, Rick asks "how old we think he is" and Eli guesses, "Younger than mom?" The two laugh naughtily, and then Rick chastises the little punk. But he doesn't really mean it.
Karen and Leo are lined up waiting to get into a bar. The bouncer actually cards them. Both of them. Karen, of course, is beside herself with the novelty of it all. For the first few seconds, we see the bar through Karen's eyes as she takes in everything like a tourist. The camera follows some girl on the balcony above them folding a piece of paper and bending down to pass it to a guy on the main floor. I assume her phone number's on the paper. As if. Anyone who just hands out their number for the asking -- especially to some guy she clearly wasn't even talking to -- is a total idiot these days. But we're supposed to assume, I think, that the whole thing is very young and free and things like stalkers and rapists and AIDS don't exist. Leo goes to get them a couple beers, and Karen starts cleaning peanut shells from their table. Leo catches her and she looks guilty until he makes a joke about it. The camera pans to the band playing and -- what a kicker -- it's the band Eli's going to see. Because there's only one bar in all of Chicago, right? ["Well, it's not like there's a big music scene in Chicago, or anything." -- Wing Chun]
Leo drags Karen onto the dance floor, where she stands rigidly transfixed, like a deer in headlights. He won't take no for an answer, though, and pulls her close. Magically, Karen loosens up and the pole slides right out of her ass. Suddenly, they're the liveliest people on the dance floor.
Meanwhile, Jessie's at Rick's place, telling him she feels sick. He thinks it's nerves, but she insists she's not nervous. In fact, she doesn't think she even wants to take the test. Rick says no one is going to make her do anything, and tells her to see how she feels in the morning.
Eli and Creep slide into the bar on their fake IDs just as the band wraps up its first set. Eli, the bar-band virgin, thinks they've missed the show, but Creep fills him in -- the band's just taking a break. Creep heads for the bar to get a beer while Eli says he's going to find the washrooms. Creep sidles up to some girl and starts leering and drooling. Yeah, that's exactly how you impress the ladies, stud. Eli walks through the billiard room where his mother and Leo are locked in a frantic make-out session. Some girl he knows says, "Hey Eli," and somehow Karen hears it and looks up. BUSTED!
Cut to Karen storming angrily after Eli through the bar. Creep comes rushing up holding a beer. Nice one. Karen and Eli have a big scene, and he goes for her weak spot, pointing out that "[she's] a little out of place." She takes away his fake ID and sends him home to Daddy, telling him she'll be calling in an hour to make sure he's there. Leo comes up behind them, and stands there smirking at the boys and remembering when he was a sparky young lad. After the boys slink out, Karen tells Leo she's got to leave, but he doesn't see why. She says it should be obvious, but he thinks she's overreacting. He tries to calm her down by telling her it's not a big deal, they both did worse things when they were young. She says she didn't. I rewind to make sure I heard her correctly. ["I don't know. She is a rotater, after all. I bet she really didn't do worse things when she was a kid." -- Wing Chun] He basically says it sucks to be her and she flips out and breaks up with him on the spot. She can't "handle this."
The morning, Rick's sitting in his kitchen calmly reading the paper when Eli comes in and starts rummaging around in the fridge. He thanks Rick for not freaking out on him -- is he really dumb enough to think he's off the hook? Apparently he is, because he gets pissed off when Rick says he's just waiting for Karen to get there so they can talk to him together. When Karen arrives, they launch into the lecture, telling Eli that "it's getting old" the way he plays them off one another all the time. Then they take away his care privileges for a month. Eli says he "can't believe this." Me neither. He can't drive for a month? Big deal, he's not even grounded or anything, so I don't know what he's crying about. Jessie comes downstairs, and Karen tells her she brought her tae kwon do uniform. Jessie says she doesn't want to go, and Rick told her she doesn't have to. Karen asks why, what's going on, and keeps needling and needling until Jessie flips. She says she just doesn't want to go. Eli jumps in to defend her, telling Karen to back off and leave her alone. He says her expectations are too high, that she wants them to be perfect and Karen gets all defensive and tells Eli she's not going to take any of his crap. He storms out of the apartment and Jessie heads upstairs. Karen's all defensive with Rick, who's just standing there innocently drinking coffee from his Krispy Kreme mug. I'm beginning to suspect that Krispy Kreme is actually some kind of cult hell-bent on world domination. It's everywhere, everywhere! Except where I live. So maybe I'm just bitter, having never tasted one of those delectable hot donuts everyone's always raving about. ["Dude, time you go to New York City, get you some Krispy Kreme. They really are as good as everyone says." -- Wing Chun] But I digress. Rick reassures her that the kids won't always be like this, and that one day they'll turn on him instead. I doubt it -- how do you get mad at Mr. Rogers? But Karen seems placated and tells him to enjoy it while he can.
Karen comes into Jessie's room to talk. Jessie tells her she's sorry for letting her down. Karen says she's proud of Jessie, but Jessie's suspicious since she hasn't done anything. Karen tells her she doesn't have to do anything -- she's proud of her because she's so much stronger and more confident that she ever was. Jessie asks Karen if she ever had boyfriends, since she was shy and not very popular. Karen tells her about a boy in high school she had a crush on. She ran against him for student council because it was something she really wanted and knew she'd be good at it. She got to know people as she campaigned, and it looked like she had a chance at winning, but when the time came for the big debate in front of the school, she blew it. Jessie asks if she lost on purpose. Karen says she's not sure, maybe. Jessie says, "That's so lame, you can't let a boy do that to you."
Turned around by her mother's story, Jessie decides to take her test.
Black-and-white Karen offers us a bit more of the psychology behind her anal-retentiveness. Her mother was a fear junkie, and she instilled it in her kids. Her whole life was fueled by fear, and it didn't stop until she was finally diagnosed with cancer. Since her worst fears had finally come true, she had nothing to fear anymore, and it was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She became another person. Karen's sorry she couldn't just be that person all along.
Jessie, meanwhile, is flying through her test. She wins her sparring match and earns her black belt while Karen and Rick beam with pride.
Black-and-white Karen wonders what happens to people, why they become so afraid to be who they really are.
We then see her at Leo's door. She's shown up unexpectedly, showing us that maybe she can be spontaneous after all. Leo flops onto the couch and waits to hear what's going on. She tells him she's not sure why she's there, she just knows that she wants to be. She nervously straightens up papers and books while she talks. He wants to know what she's doing. She sinks onto the coffee table, and tells him she's not sure he's the right person for her. He says that's not exactly what he was hoping to hear. She says he's everything she's not looking for in her life. He gets offended. She tells him that he makes her laugh, though, and question who she is. "That's a good thing, right?" he wants to know. Karen says she thinks she wants to try again. He asks if she thinks she can "handle it." She says she doesn't know. Good thing, too. I was starting to worry the show'd finish out the hour without any of the characters displaying some personal growth. Karen and Leo wind up smooching on the couch.