For the last Halloween episode of the series, Jim once again shows up in a low-effort costume. It's actually no costume at all, because he has an investors' lunch relating to his new "sports marketing" gig. He and Pam have agreed that he'll kick in some money of their own and aside from a minor dig about how everybody knew about this before she did, she's being incredibly cool about it. How unfortunate then, that in an awkward moment at the lunch he ends up committing to ten thousand dollars to minimize his own embarrassment… without even knowing what's really going on. She is not going to be cool about that.
Back at the office, most of the other employees have dressed up. Including Andy, who's wearing an '80s George Michael costume. He's also invited the current members of his old a cappella group from Cornell, Here Comes Treble, to perform at the office Halloween party. It's going to be a disappointing day for Andy, because not only do they not consider him the legend he thinks he is, his plan to be "spontaneously" invited up to sing "Faith" with them is not going as planned, and the only reason it happens at all is that Erin bullies them into doing it. But like the supposed spreading of Nard-Dog lore, Andy discovers that it's all being sabotaged by fellow alum Broccoli Rob (played by Ed Helms's fellow Daily Show alum Stephen Colbert), who's even more invested in the old group than Andy is. Rather than admitting defeat, Andy decides to ask his mom for a big endowment for the group from the Bernard Foundation, only to learn that his family is now broke.
Also, Dwight finds an anxiety pill and ropes Nellie into a witch hunt for the office madman. The pill belongs to her, of course, although she plays along for a bit until she comes clean and manages to convince Dwight of the utility of anxiety medication. Sounds like we'll be seeing a mellower Dwight soon. And Angela's husband Robert shows up for the party, removing all doubt as to what they've been up to. At least for us viewers.
Oh, and when Jim returns to the office with the news that he just agreed to sink ten grand into his new venture, Pam is most assuredly not cool with it.
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Dwight has wedged a jack-o-lantern onto his head and successfully scared the crap out of Erin, but now it's stuck. Jim's attempts at assistance are mainly aimed at demonstrating how various implements would damage Dwight's head as much as the pumpkin itself. As we see Dwight going about the rest of his day with a giant orange gourd on his head, he talking-pumpkins his regrets. "But the pumpkin should rot off my head in a month or two, right?"
Jim and Pam show up at work with Pam wearing a ball gown, tiara, stethoscope, and lab coat, explaining to Erin (in a puppy costume) that she's Dr. Cinderella. Jim explains how Cece's into princesses so they're trying to make them into role models. Erin likes that, but she's pretty crushed when Pam mistakes her for a dog instead of a puppy. Erin busts Jim on not being in costume, and Jim gets no support when he claims to be one of the Men in Black guys. Must be the blue suit.
The Halperts do a joint TH where Pam explains how Jim's normal clothes are related to "this sports marketing business that Jim told everyone about except for me," namely a big investment meeting today, which is why Jim forewent his usual minimal-effort costume. "Unless he has a secret costume that he told everyone about except for me." Jim remarks on the mileage Pam's getting from this. "Yeah, well, get used to it, bud," she smirks.
Andy walks into the bullpen dressed like Faith-era George Michael , complete with guitar, sunglasses, stubble, blond streaks, and leather jacket, although the back of his looks more like someone's couch. He reminds everyone to get their work done before the Halloween party after lunch, "or just throw it out." Angela, dressed as Nancy Reagan, announces that her husband the senator will join them later. Andy asks, "That reminds me, has anyone seen treble?" That cues the entrance by the Cornell a cappella group Here Comes Treble, coming in dressed like the Warblers and singing "Karma Chameleon." "What lab did these little clones escape from?" Dwight asks from behind his elastic-band pig-snout. "My Cornell a cappella group!" Andy says happily. Pam: "You were in an a cappella group?" Darryl: "You went to Cornell?" Andy laughs it off, slowly, and announces the group will be performing at the Halloween party. Stanley grumbles, but Clark acts enthused. "I love the boss's interests," he says. Meredith, dressed as some version of Catwoman, hits on them en masse. And in his office, Andy THs, as though it's just occurred to him, that he might be asked to sing "Faith," one of his signature songs. "I'm so not prepared," he lies.
Jim takes his leave, after confirming with Pam that it's okay how much money they're sinking into this. On his way out, Dwight holds up a little box of Nerds and says he's eating Jim, a bit he milks long after Jim's exit, causing Erin to laugh so hard she has to run to the hydrant. When Dwight goes to pick up the ones he dropped, he finds a little yellow pill on the floor. So he apparently does some research and grimly says it's for anxiety. "Translation: there's a madman in our midst." Well, you know what they say about what it means if you don't know which person in your office is the crazy one.
Nellie's at Pam's desk wearing a bad wig and tweed suit with a loose tie. "I'm Sexy Toby," she explains, although she's clearly more one than the other. Pam is both amused and grossed out, and while she's still laughing, Dwight suddenly hollers out, "Dumatril!" to see who reacts. Nellie unwisely does, and Dwight explains to her and the office about the pill he found that "combats insanity... whoever is taking it is not only insane, they are now off their meds." Nellie says it's none of their business, and as Dwight closes in on her, we cut to a TH where Nellie says it's hers, but she doesn't need Dwight knowing that. "I once saw him yell at Phyllis for sneezing wrong." Only once? Nellie decides to sign on to Dwight's nut-hunt rather than continuing to be the object of it.
Andy goes into the break room to hang with the current Here Comes Treble members. In a TH, he says he knows it's pathetic, but he was a rock star back then. "When I got the nickname Boner Champ, that is when I became me." No wonder his bout with impotence during the Nellie administration upset him so much. Well, you know, plus that would upset anyone. He's here to answer any questions the young guys might have, which actually is none. Pretty much the only sound in there is Andy's leather jacket creaking loudly. He wants to at least tell them why he's called the Boner Champ, but one of the students pipes up that he thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ. Deeply offended, Andy straightens them out and then storms off.
The Halloween party has started. Pete, who is not in costume, says he didn't know everyone was going to dress up. "Me neither," says Creed, whose face, shirt, and tie are spattered with red. "It's Halloween," he THs. "That is really, really, good timing."
In Andy's office, he's on Skype with Broccoli Rob, played by none other than Stephen Colbert, while Erin looks on. Broccoli makes some excuses about how he might have claimed to be the Boner Champ amid freely flowing wine coolers with the guys, but agrees to call them and straighten them out when Andy asks.
At the big investment meeting, which is just lunch at a restaurant with three other guys, Jim is clearly feeling a bit left out. One of the partners says that between their own investment and their backers, they're set for a year financially. Jim jumps in asking if it's too late to kick in a chunk himself. He mentions anywhere between five or ten thousand, which seems to initiate an uncomfortable silence. And you know how Jim hates not being the coolest person in any given room, which means this awkward situation is so unbearable to him that he just throws ten thousand dollars at it to make it go away as quickly as possible. Of course he's going to pay for that later, in more ways than one.
In the break room, Dwight tries to flush Daryl out as the madman by smearing peanut butter on his face, which Nellie explains is protection from the nanobots the government put in the A/C. The idea is to test whether this makes sense to Daryl, who encourages Dwight to keep going until his face is totally covered before agreeing, "Yeah, that's crazy."
Andy returns to the break room fishing for the news that his status as Boner Champ has been confirmed. That accomplished, he explains how he got it. "Spring Sing '95. Got completely ripped on Bud Drys. I had sex with a snowman. I just went at that thing. Cold would have stopped most people but I stayed locked in." Really, the only response to this is more creaking from his jacket.
Angela leads her husband, who is wearing a Ronald Reagan mask, into the conference room and reintroduces Robert and Oscar, who's dressed as a furry lizard. Robert thinks Oscar's just a dinosaur, but of course Oscar clarifies that he's the Electoral College. Okay, then. Angela dashes off, freaked out about the food spread, leaving Robert to flirt with Oscar until Oscar nods frantically at the camera aimed at them. One of the two cameras, at least.
Andy complains to Erin about how his snowman story failed to impress the members of Here Comes Treble. "What is with these turkeys?" Erin wonders. So she goes into the break room and orders them to do "Faith," even though they don't know it. "You have to or Andy will flip out. And make it a surprise. Please." On her way back to her desk, she pauses to insist to Pete, "This isn't stupid."
Dwight and Nellie are sitting in the kitchen with the pill set out as bait. Toby comes in and sees Nellie for the first time today, and it's love at first sight. And then it gets really, really creepy. Exit Toby, probably to Costa Rica. Nellie sighs and says they're getting too worked up over a mere anxiety pill. Dwight tells her he has anxieties of his own. "Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture." He frets about his land disputes, useless cousins, and ne'er do well siblings (way to plug your spinoff, Dwight), but says he doesn't need a pill to get through it. Meredith strolls in, sees the pill and grabs it, saying, "Cool, free upper!" Dwight jumps her with the giant butterfly net he's got stashed for the purpose, which is when Nellie confesses that the pill is hers and helps Meredith out of the net. 'Stop bagging my head!" Meredith yells at Dwight in a nice callback. Nellie pops the pill and says it makes her feel better. "And maybe it could help you too."
Jim, Angela, and Pam are up at Reception talking about the concert with Kevin, who's dressed as Charlie Brown. Angela complains about "Monster Mash," which Jim says you have to do at Halloween. Pam jumps on Jim's use of the phrase "have to," wondering if you go to jail or get shot if you don't do something you "have to." Jim would like to drop it, but Pam pushes it, pointing out the difference between things that are a "good idea" and things you "have to" do, like, "feed your children. Send them to school. All things you can't do if you just keep singing 'Monster Mash.'" Have they not had a chance to talk about this privately? I guess this is consistent with Pam's tendency to argue in metaphors.
Andy admits to Erin that this is all silly, and goes from "It's not like we're moving to Cornell" to "Are we doing this?" in about fifteen seconds. Erin goes, "Oyee. Andy, what is going on?" Andy doesn't know who he is if he's not the Boner Champ, which is when he gets the idea of making a donation to Here Comes Treble. "And it just so happens I know someone who works at the Bernard Family Foundation." Oh, Andy, haven't you had enough BFF for one day?
Dwight quietly asks Nellie for help getting some pills, claiming they're for his cousin Mose and all his problems, like his crazy cousin Mose. "Other cousin Mose," Dwight quickly corrects. Nellie, playing along says to tell Mose, "He's a good man and I hope he feels better." Dwight asks which one, and Nellies says the real one. "He says thank you," Dwight says as sincerely as one can when pretending to say it on behalf of someone else who isn't there.
In the tag, Andy's on the phone to his mom pitching the scholarship idea, and get some surprising news. Here Comes Treble singing the Cornell's school song on the soundtrack as Toby approaches Nellie with flowers. Andy comes out and tells Erin, "My parents are broke." Robert and Oscar kiss passionately outside the building. Nellie removes her Toby wig, and his smile disappears as she asks who the flowers are for. They're for someone who isn't here any more, Nellie. Oscar heads back into the building, noticing too late that the camera is there. And Toby goes into the annex and smashes the flowers against the Successories poster. Ironically, it's the one titled VISION.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter , or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.