Michael's feeling guilty that Corporate launched an idea of Darryl's that Michael shot down, but it turns out that Darryl went over Michael's head with it. And when Michael finds out, he's pissed. He turns the office Halloween party into his own personal vendetta over what he sees as a breakdown in the chain of command, but eventually Michael and Darryl resolve things by more or less screwing Gabe over. Win-win-win!
There's also the lingering, awkward issue of why Pam and Danny never had more than a couple of dates back in the day. Jim and Pam are trying to be cool about it, but it's just not happening. Which is why it all fits when after making a number of excuses, Danny admits that Pam was just too dorky. Took him two dates to figure that out?
And speaking of the Halloween party, the centerpiece is the costume contest with a coupon book supposedly worth $15,000 as first prize. Everybody loses their mind over it save Oscar, who is rewarded appropriately.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see why Jim and Pam are perfect for each other!
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While Jim and Andy are wasting time at Andy's desk, Stanley absently picks up Jim's mug of O.J. and takes a swig without ever realizing it's not his own coffee. "Is there no limit to what he won't notice?" Jim talking-heads incredulously. And as we're about to see, Jim does not mean this as an idle question, but as something that could be the title for the scientific study that begins now:
Doing his crossword, Stanley asks for a seven-letter word for purse. "Satchel," says the person across from him in Phyllis's chair, glasses, cardigan, necklace, and voice, without Stanley noticing that said person is in fact Kevin. "Handbag," suggests Andy. Stanley thanks him without perceiving that Andy is wearing only his tie. Jim slides a box with a color screen-print of Stanley's monitor over the real thing -- no reaction. Stanley walks into the conference room right past Michael, who is grinning at him through a mouthful of clown teeth -- and sits down in the only chair facing the front, amid all the other chairs facing the back of the room. Everyone but Stanley celebrates the great sales numbers from the company's branch on Jupiter. Apparently this goes on all day, until Stanley finally notices something unusual: the wall clock, which reads 4:55, is five minutes slow. "See you all tomorrow," he says. "'Bye, Stanley, love you," Pam says through a big fake (I hope) moustache, and Stanley walks out past Dwight and his pony in front of Reception, heroically oblivious to all.
Okay, it's costume time. Oscar comes in dressed as, I guess, Linc from The Mod Squad, followed by Kevin dressed as Michael Moore. Stanley's dressed as a Japanese shogun, Angela as a penguin, Erin as some kind of flayed-skulled ghoul, and Michael is MacGruber, complete with a blond wig and an unsurprising insistence on doing a whole sketch. Pam, as Olive Oyl, tells us how much people are into the costume contest, thanks to the prize of a 2011 Scranton/Wilkes-Barre coupon book worth -- wait for it -- $15,000! I had a comment all ready here but Oscar will be covering that later.
Dwight comes up behind Jim as the Scranton Strangler, which is a bit that either needs to pay off or get dropped sometime soon. Dwight is deeply offended by Pam's costume, which Dwight thinks is his own mom. Pam explains that Jim doesn't want to put his own costume on, so Jim pops a corncob pipe in his mouth and claims, "I am Popeye." Way to get into it, Halpert. Jim THs about never having been into costumes, over a montage of his past looks that includes Three-Hole Punch, Dave, and Bookface. "And then this morning, Pam hands me this little number," he says, holding up a polyester Popeye costume. "Nope." So that will clearly not be what he yam, let alone all that he yam.
Gabe is dressed as Lady Gaga (which was funnier when a different ineffectual authority figure did it on the show that was on right before this one) and trying to run a meeting with Michael still doing the MacGruber bit. "Lame," says Packer (!), who is staying classy by being dressed as a pregnant nun, and telling the dirtiest joke he can get away with on network TV. Lest you think Timothy Olyphant's gig last week was a one-off, Danny's actually there, dressed as either Danny or "sexy paper salesman." Michael tries to tell a joke of his own and blows it, and Gabe tries to get things back on track by explaining a new policy whereby delivery drivers will be able to make sales. Packer has a question: "Has anyone started calling you Gabe-wad yet?" "Not here, no," Gabe says.
Michael enters Darryl's office, mistaking his costume for Blacula, and tells him about the new policy, which happens to be an idea Darryl pitched to Michael. Michael's able to play it cool for about five seconds before apologizing to Darryl for not getting him the credit. Darryl actually is cool with it, and that ream of paper Michael put down his shirt to protect himself in the event Darryl hit him wasn't even necessary. So Michael THs that Darryl is the greatest guy in the world, and all the racists should take Darryl out to lunch, "Just to see what they're missing."
Toby, dressed as an old-timey hobo, sits with Ryan and Kelly, whose costumes I'm apparently too old to get, as Oscar points out that with this allegedly $15,000 coupon book, you'd have to spend $200,000 on shit you don't need. Everyone pretends they know that already. Whatever, I think Oscar wants that coupon book more than anyone.
Danny invites everyone to the Halloween party at his bar, which is called "Public School." Oscar pretends that's hilarious. Creed asks about the crowd there: "Our age?" Danny just non-answers, "Okay."
In the break room, some of the employees are debating whether Pam will leave Jim for Danny until she comes in, and when awkward silence falls, Creed smoothly changes the subject to Danny: "I heard he used to date Pam." Yeah, that's not normally how that's done.
Jim and Pam reiterate in a joint TH how Pam dated Danny twice four years ago when Jim was in Stamford. "But I've learned to love again," Pam says. "He's a cartoon sailor, and he looks so handsome in his uniform." Jim is not learning to love this idea.
Andy, dressed as I think Bill from True Blood (although at first glance he looks like a rockabilly gas station attendant with a grisly "collection" in his basement), offers to skip Danny's party on Jim's behalf. Jim says he doesn't care. But Andy and Kevin do an outraged TH about how much this sucks for Jim, but especially for them because they don't get invited to that many Halloween parties.
Jim announces that Madge from the warehouse just made her first sale, which he thinks is great. The real sales people aren't worried about the drivers cutting into their commissions? Michael decides to do a little grandstanding, having Erin call Darryl on the speakerphone in front of everyone so Michael can coax him out into the bullpen. After still-masked Erin struggles with the speakerphone button for a while, Michael announces to everyone that it was originally Darryl's idea and Michael shot it down. Michael now wants to call Corporate and tell them to give Darryl the credit. Seeing an anti-Corporate vibe starting to form here, Gabe jumps in, saying Darryl took it to him, and Gabe passed it along, "giving Darryl full credit." Gabe calls for a round of applause for Darryl while Michael stands there and seethes. MacGruber!
In his office, sans wig, Michael is bitching about it to Dwight, who isn't exactly talking him down. "We need to strangle Darryl's idea!" he says. That does not count as a Scranton Strangler payoff, by the way.
Andy and Kevin give their regrets to Danny, who's totally cool about it, even though Andy and Kevin aren't. They claim Jim and Pam are behind it, and Danny offers to talk to them about it. "Don't tell them that we said anything to you, okay, or you're dead," Kevin says. Sounds good to Danny.
Kelly walks in wearing a brand-new Katy Perry costume, and Angela tries to get Kelly DQ'ed for changing in the middle of the day. Kelly threatens to sue for discrimination, and when Oscar tries to be the voice of reason he gets shut up quick. Which is what often happens to the voice of reason in this office when it's someone who isn't Jim.
In the kitchen, Dwight is throwing out novelty fridge magnets while Michael stares with paranoia at Gabe and Kevin chatting on the other side of the window, wondering what they're talking about. "Probably about the extremes of the human physique," Dwight guesses, but when Michael witnesses a fist-bump, he bursts out yelling about the chain of command. Kevin is nearly in tears at being caught in the act of suggesting some Lady Gaga moves to Gabe for his runway walk. Michael lets it go, but the damage has been done as far as Kevin is concerned. "Fuck you, Gabe," he sobs.
Danny, Jim and Pam are in Michael's office laughing about the misunderstanding, even when Danny brings up his and Pam's "history," which both of them downplay. Pam says it was two dates, Danny thought it was three, and finally Pam reminds Danny that he never called her back for the third one. "That does not sound like me," Danny laughs. "It was, though, that's what happened," Pam says, looking rather stiff and blinky. Awkward pause, at the end of which Danny says he's just glad things aren't weird. Which, if he can sell that, no wonder he's such a hot-shit salesman.
Michael returns to Darryl's office to give him what-for about the breakdown in the chain of command and of society in general, as shown by Gabe being dressed as Lady Gaga. Darryl correctly deploys the usually-infuriating non-apology apology, "I'm sorry if it seems that way to you," which is still more than Michael deserves, but Michael wants Darryl to say it in front of everyone. Darryl declines: "You made a bad call and I fixed it." Michael stomps out, but I'm thinking that's not the end of it.
Andy's trying to explain his costume to Stanley, who awesomely says, "How many freaking vampires am I supposed to care about these days?" No shit, dude. Oscar has changed out of his costume, pompously claiming that he's now a "rational consumer." Phyllis in her judge's robe pretends to get it and wanders off. Pam starts handing out the ballots, and out comes Michael, wearing Oscar's discarded afro wig and Darryl's old warehouse shirt, yelling like his idea of an obnoxious black man. "Happy Halloween, jerk!" he spits at Darryl as a climax.
Into an awkward silence that has lasted the entire commercial break, Michael adds that in case anybody still doesn't get his costume (which, come on, even Kevin and Creed do), he goes over people's heads. Pam quietly tells Michael that this is a bad idea. "When has that ever worked for you?" "NEVER!" Michael yells, and angrily doffs the wig. Kelly demands of Michael, "Could you for once just let us enjoy a party instead of making it about all your issues?" Wow, did you see that fourth wall shake?
Everyone walks the "runway" (actually the space between the desks and the conference room wall) in character. Creed shambles along as a mummy, then Stanley swings his samurai sword, then Kelly, then Oscar, who is still doing his "rational consumer." I still don't get who Ryan's supposed to be, but then that's been the case for years. Gabe does some Lady Gaga moves even more awkwardly than Lady Gaga does. Whoa -- Angela's changed into a naughty nurse costume, complete with white thigh-highs and an indignant response to the interviewer. "They were sold out of all the other costumes. Okay? I think we all live in the real world here. Let's not pretend to be unaware of what sells in this office." And apparently Angela's willing to sell it for $15,000 worth of money-saving coupons.
Michael wants to join in on a Ouija board session by suggesting they ask it "if Darryl is a bad friend who stabs people in the back?" Jim: "We have one question to ask the spirit world and you want us to ask that?" Of course the planchette points to no, which Michael thinks is because Darryl moved it, so Michael asks Dwight to back him up. "I saw exactly what the two of you wanted me to see," Dwight says, and then THs, "I know how to sit on a fence." Dwight claims he can even sleep on a fence: "The trick is to do it facedown with the post in your mouth." Michael, now with his own hands on the pointer, asks the spirits for one word to describe Darryl, and the two of them fight over the planchette as it spells out "A-S-S...E-T." Clearly the spirits aren't so into fence-sitting.
On the kitchen counter is a line of paper lunch bags labeled with allegedly creepy contents like "eyeballs" and "kidneys." Only Packer nabbed the last one, crossed out "fingers," wrote in "trouser mouse," and is now holding it in front of his crotch. Danny doesn't think that'll work out for him. "I don't think you get it," Packer sneers. Enter Jim, and Danny remarks on his first DM party. "we work hard, we play hard, even when we don't work hard," Jim says. Out of nowhere, Jim asks why Danny never called Pam back years ago. Danny makes an excuse about having misread Pam's number, which Jim doesn't buy (while Packer asks Jim if he's looking for someone to bang his wife), and finally Danny says he didn't cal Pam back because she spent the whole date talking about Jim. "She was obviously in love with you." Exit Danny. Well, that should be the end of it, right?
Erin's bobbing for apples, but she's had her face in the tub for almost a full minute. They rescue her when she goes limp, and she crows, "I ate two whole apples!" Who would have thought that people's failure to explain simple things to Erin would actually endanger her life? Okay, I guess it was just a matter of time.
Danny comes out of the bathroom to find Jim and Pam waiting in ambush for him, because Pam has no memory of talking about Jim during their dates. Jeez, let it go, you two. Danny finally admits that Pam was "a little dorky." Happy now? Pam pretends to be relieved and satisfied, right up to her dorky exit from the room.
Gabe is trying to resolve the issue between Michael and Darryl by nailing down the chain of command thing in the way Michael wants. Michael is still indignant, after "everything [he] did for" Darryl. Darryl reminds Michael that's actually nothing: "Ed Truck hired me. Jo promoted me. Gabe listened to me. All you ever did was say no to me." Darryl says he has ambitions, but Michael only ever held him down. Gabe remarks that these are some real bombs Darryl's dropping, and they must be making Michael think. Which Michael hates, because it's true. Michael suggests some pointless process involving putting ideas in a hat. That gets shot down, and several other iterations are suggested, in which it turns out that Gabe's primary goal is to prevent either one of them from calling Jo. So as always, this ends up with Gabe on the outside, and Darryl and Michael both agreeing to call Jo if they need to. Looks like Gabe is getting locked into his role of serving as an animosity-sink when Michael gets into a dispute with one of the other employees, but the main thing is that Michael thinks he and Darryl are cool now. "Friends fight," he THs philosophically.
Darryl's not quite so sanguine. He gazes out his office window, admitting to Andy that it was sometimes better in the warehouse. Andy tells a story about walking out of his editor gig at the Cornell student paper ("This was at Cornell," he adds), abandoning his daily op-ed "Bernard's Regards" and exiting Bernard Hall and hearing voices singing. Andy asks Darryl if being the CEO is his a capella group. Darryl's playing it close to the Dracula-vest, but when Andy asks if he's going to Danny's Halloween party, Darryl says he's got work to do. Looks like Darryl's going for the inside track on that office that's going to be empty at the end of the season.
"Who doesn't call a dork like that back?" Jim THs of Danny. And Jim comes back into the office not only going "uck-uck-uck" around his corncob pipe but also wearing his full Popeye costume, which now even includes Cece as Swee'Pea. "My hero," Pam dorks, thrilled at how he's accessorized their child. Sorry, that costume doesn't make him look as whipped as his dogged pursuit of closure for Pam's abortive relationship with Danny did.
Pam reveals the winner of the costume contest: Oscar. There's a smattering of puzzled applause, and we find out who voted for "the rational consumer." Because Kelly couldn't vote for herself, she voted for someone who couldn't beat her; Ryan smugs, "I'm a Nader guy"; and Creed gushes, "Best Edward James Olmos costume I've ever seen."
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see the staff's most roastable moments!
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.