By Angel Cohn
Dwight, Stanley, Jim, Ryan, Erin and Kathy are all down in a hotel in Tallahassee, where Dwight takes it upon himself to do individual wake-up calls. Everyone's decidedly grouchy at the crack of dawn, aside from Ryan who wakes up horny and hits on Erin, and Jim, who woke up on his kids' schedule and took the extra time to stage a murder scene. God, I pity the cleaning lady who has to suffer these fools.
Once they get down to business, we see Nellie Bertram (A.K.A, Catherine Tate. A.K.A, my beloved Donna Noble) and she's out to prove to the likes of all the Dunder Mifflin Sabreites assembled from around the country (including Todd Packer) that she isn't just boobs, but has a giant penis for a brain... or something. She's holding a grudge against Jim since he didn't hire her, and we're behind that, but the rest of the time is just spent with her talking about her business plan (snooze) and the time she had sex with Hugh Grant's older, uglier brother. Love her, but so far, this is more disappointing than when she arrived shrieking in the TARDIS in a wedding gown.
Dwight has appendicitis and refuses to deal with it, in order to impress Nellie. Eventually he has surgery and then comes back in order to deliver a useless presentation and nearly pass out from pain. It's as insufferable as it sounds. While Dwight's dealing with the fact that he has a real ailment and Jim didn't just poison him, Jim is marveling at Vacation Stanley and the effort that it takes to really be that lazy and not dedicated to your job. Great. So Jim can be even more of a slacker. Why hasn't he gotten fired yet?
Back in Scranton, things are stupid. Erin forwarded the calls and no one realizes it for like half a day, and then when the phone does ring, they don't know what to do without a receptionist. Andy tries to get Pam to resume her old post, but she staunchly refuses and they all sit around letting potential sales fly out the window instead of getting up and answering the phone. These people are idiots. Is there not a group home they could safely live in so that they don't endanger themselves? Finally, Andy caves and the office manager becomes the best receptionist they've ever had. Multi-tasking and making delicious office snacks. It seems that this Cornell grad has missed his true calling. Oh, and he misses Erin. If anyone still cares.