Episode Report Card Sara M: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Electioneering
By Sara M | Season 7 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.08.2010
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.While treating a senator's campaign advisor for liver problems, House is forced by Cuddy to hire a third-year med student, super-genius Martha M. Masters, who has Ph.Ds in applied math, art history and telling the truth. This is terrible news for House, who finds it much easier to get what he wants by lying to everyone around him. So he fires Martha, only to have to hire her back when the other three Cottages are sent to jail for breaking into patient Joe's house. Martha gives House the idea that Joe has hepatitis C, contracted from his senator boss when they shared a straw during a cocaine binge, as well as the idea to try to cure Joe by infecting him with hepatitis A, which works 15% of the time and kills the patient the other 85%. Of course, Cuddy won't approve this risky business without a positive hepatitis C test result, and there are all kinds of special conditions going on that prevent Joe's blood from testing positive. So House uses the senator's blood instead and puts Joe's name on it. That test comes back positive and is enough to get Cuddy's approval. The treatment saves Joe's life but earns Cuddy's wrath and disappointment when she inevitably finds out that House lied to her.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We begin with one of those great political ads that tout the other guy as an America-hating incompetent liar, like we all didn't get to see enough of them leading up to last week's election (also, oops on the timing there, eh, Fox?). Anyway, John Moreno wants to let all the Mexicans into America to steal our jobs and healthcare, so New Jersey needs to re-elect Senator Hal, who protests that this ad insults his "core consistency" of Latinos. His advisor/campaign ad creator Joe reminds him that his opponent's last name is "Moreno," so it's pretty safe to say that the Latinos are going to vote for him no matter what. Wiping ominous sweat from his brow, Hal still refuses to let Joe run the ad no matter how many points the polls say he's behind by. Joe responds by breaking out in a weird rash. It doesn't look that bad to me, but Hal suggests that he call an ambulance. I guess you can do things like that when you have good health insurance, unlike the millions of people in this country who don't and who still won't if Senator Hal's party gets its way.
House sees his latest Clinic patient off, a guy wearing a toga who suffered from keg stand-related injuries despite looking about 35 years old and therefore way too old for that shit, only to run into Cuddy, who nags him about the fact that he still hasn't hired a woman to replace Hadley. That's not really fair, since he's hired quite a few women at this point. They just haven't lasted more than one episode. Cuddy has decided that if she wants something done right, she'll have to do it herself, and informs him that his new Cottage is Martha M. Masters. House takes one look at the resume and points out at Martha only a third-year med student and therefore totally unqualified for what should be a prestigious fellowship. Cuddy says Martha graduated high school at 15 and has two Ph.Ds in applied math and art history. Well, I hate her already. Also, if House is going to hire someone who isn't a doctor, it should be Weird Beard. I really miss that guy.
House walks into the meeting room and is greeted with new patient Joe's skin and liver problems. His case was "personally recommended" to House's team by Senator Harold "Hal" Anderson, which Foreman thinks is so awesome that he wears his very biggest and smuggest smile when he mentions it. And then Martha M. Masters walks in, full of innocence and social awkwardness if not a medical degree. House introduces her to her new co-workers Boring, Bimbo, and Bite-Size before making her answer a series of smart-people questions to prove her genius to the crew, as well as her dorkiness. She does not, however, know the answer to any of House's monster truck-related questions. While House continues to make Martha feel inadequate and unwelcome, the Cottages get to diagnosing, eventually coming up with toxic exposure and being sent off to search Joe's house for chemicals. To Martha, he simply says "if you want to stay on this team, have an opinion." Geez. He could have at least given her a minute to actually read the patient's file.