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With Mina still weirded out from last week's hand-holding with Cole -- she was never a hugger or a hand-holder, even with her parents -- and Plastics feeling the burn of his estrangement from his parents, this is the perfect time to introduce a traumatic event featuring father/daughter American tourists. They were scuba diving, see, and there was a rockslide near some coral, and the daughter is trapped beneath some rock. The father's a single dad who doesn't do affection properly, so Mina relates while Plastics sneers. Ultimately, Dr. Ben says they have to amputate her leg, which they do, and she survives, but it makes for some awkward, bitter, and ultimately cathartic father/daughter moments back at the clinic. Enough to make Plastics send a note back home to the folks, and to make Mina tell Cole that the hand-holding isn't something she just does. (Ugh, the move towards Burke/Yang II continues.)
Meanwhile, Cole has to deal with his jealousy over a Scottish adventurer -- and frequent admirer of Zee's -- showing up with larvae in his skin. Yes! How can Zee resist such a man? But Zee's still pissed because Cole thinks they're just friends with benefits -- he doesn't even know her middle name. So while Zee uses raw bacon to draw out the larvae from Handsome Scot's admittedly appealing chest, Cole stews and grumbles. Zee ultimately sends her bacon-wrapped paramour on his way, but she also breaks things off with Cole, because she doesn't want to be his jungle fling.
Lily gets another visit from hot Mateo, only this time he's trying to charm his way out of a bullet to the gut. During surgery, Lily discovers the bullet came from a cop's gun, but when she informs Mateo, post-surgery, that she's called the police, he explains that he was in a scuffle due to the corrupt cops trying to muscle his family off their farmland. Mmmm, we'll see if that turns out to be true. In the meantime, Lily lies to the cop who shows up, but not before kissing Mateo in a spectacular display of Things Doctors Shouldn't Do But Always Do on TV.
Finally, Plastics has decided to opt for celibacy in the wake of Alma and her jerky boyfriend with the now-healed penis. But that doesn't last very long once he finds out that Alma dumped Elan. And something's wrong with Dr. Clark, and despite the coughing fit and vomiting she exhibits after returning to the surface from saving the scuba-divers, it doesn't look like it's the Bends. The way the storyline is going, I'd say pregnancy, but it doesn't fit the symptoms. Developing ...
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Zee was disappointed by Cole categorizing their relationship as "bang friends" (to paraphrase), Lily met hot-hot-hot local hottie Mateo, Plastics expressed regret over cutting his parents out of his life, and Mina held Cole's hand while he underwent dental surgery sans-drugs.
Currently: We get a big fakeout to start the show, as a seemingly serious all-doctors huddle about "giving it a shot" and "these are kids we're talking about here" turns out to be, of course, all about the beach soccer game that Team Clinic is participating in. They seem to be getting waxed by the local children, see. Of note: Cole picks up Mina in the middle of a play in what's half an encouraging hug and half a maneuver-her-out-of-my-way thing; Mina, as ever, doesn't like being touched. Because she is made of ice. Also of note: Clark appears to get winded after a little running around, though she brushes it off as nothing. Mmm, yeah, not on a medical show, it's not. Dr. Ben winds up lofting a ball towards Lily, and to her credit, she heads the ball into the goal ... giving the doctors a narrow 16-6 loss. I tell you what, that is some poor goalkeeping on BOTH sides.
Afterwards, Lily and her now-bent sunglasses suggest heading to the cantina tonight (as opposed to whatever else they do every night?), leading to Plastics teasing her about her "very sexy farmer" new boyfriend (Lily corrects him that Mateo's parents are the farmers). Mina notes the photo they took with the kids and how shocked her parents would be to see her with her arms around a kid "and not even wearing a haz-mat suit." Plastics says his parents would see the photo and just assume he's on a tropical vacay with his illegitimate children. Hey, props to any dad who would take his illegitimate children on a tropical vacation, Plastics! Mina then talks about how it's weird that Cole thinks they're hug-buddies ever since the tooth extraction. Mina, you may need to be reminded, is not a hugger. Mina does not truck with hugs. Mina's least favorite monster in Alien is the face-hugger. Charlie runs up and tells Plastics that Alma's over there and wants to talk to him. Plastics: "For what? All the amazing sex she's having with her stupid boyfriend because I fixed his penis?" I know I talk about how adorable Zach Gilford is every week, and how he manages to make a whiney jerk like Plastics seems unavoidably likeable, but I seriously could watch him grouse about other people's happiness all day. He tells Charlie to tell her "You're welcome," and when the girls raise eyebrows at him, he shrugs his shoulders and says he's got a whole celibacy thing going. It's helping with his focus. It certainly must be freeing up a lot of his time. Plastics' explanation of his cool new sexless life is interrupted by Dr. Ben calling for Mina and Plastics: "There's an A-plot out in the water!"
As they speedboat out to the location, Drs. Ben and Clark catch Mina and Plastics up: Two Americans, a father and daughter, were scuba diving in an underwater cave and there was a rock slide. The dad's free but the daughter is trapped, and the coast guard wants doctors on hand for the rescue. When they get to the boat, they find the father with his back all torn up, struggling with the coast guard to let him go and to save his daughter. Ben and Clark suit up, dive in, and find the daughter's leg very much trapped. She's got one of those dry-erase whiteboards that apparently function just fine underwater and she shows it to the doctors: "Help me." Title card!
Back at La Clinica, Lily, Zee, and Cole gab about the patient at sea (we learn that the coast guard is sending a winch to remove the rock, but they're three hours away; they have backup air tanks to keep the girl breathing). When Lily leaves, Cole asks Zee why she didn't stop by last night, and she tosses off a pretty basic excuse about patients and being tired. She then spots one particular chart and her face lights up, and she runs out to meet "Angus" (who is Scottish, tall, and hot). Angus Sinclair, as Cole tells Lily and an apparently-has-no-friends-his-own-age Charlie, is a cultural linguist of some sort who "shows up once a year to try and get into Zee's pants." Cole, obviously, hates the guy, and Lily and Charlie laugh at how obvious he is about it. They disperse and Cole approaches Angus, who's gifted Zee with a bag of some medicinal herb or another that he was given by the last native tribe he was working with. Cole asks him what kind of tapeworm they'll be fishing out of his butt this time. Angus says this one's just a skin rash. Cole: "Oh, so syphilis, then?" Zee tells them they both have "huevos gigantes" and tells Angus she'll have a look at the rash. Cole takes his leave, but not before planting a big, conspicuous, territorial kiss on Zee. It's all very charming.
Back on the boat, Mina and Plastics are tending to the dad, Nick (who I guess has been on The Good Wife? Because at this point, who hasn't been on The Good Wife?). He's got shards of coral all up in his upper back, so Mina's removing those -- which seems painful -- and Plastics is warning him that if he starts to feel nauseous, he could have coral poisoning. So, you know, watch out for that. Dad starts to exposit about himself and his daughter: he and her mother divorced, and he and the daughter aren't close at all. He looks as pained by this as he does by the coral shards being tweezed out of his shoulder.
Under the surface, the vaguely threatening marine life look on as Ben and Clark try to communicate with the daughter, Shannon. She writes on the whiteboard that it hurts to breathe, but Clark checks her tank and notes that there's plenty of air. Shannon begins to go into distress, and Ben deduces that she's got a collapsed lung and she needs to get to the surface ASAP. Don't just float there, manta rays, DO SOMETHING.
Back at the clinic, Zee tells Angus that the splotches on his chest aren't a rash but rather abscesses that need to be drained. Strangely, he still manages to pull off sexy even with oozing pustules on his chest. Hey, you take what you can get in the jungle. Anyway, he's haranguing Zee about choosing Cole for a boyfriend (she disputes that he's her "boyfriend" and says they're still in the early stages), pinpointing on the man's lack of intimacy or (he guesses) interest in anything personal about Zee. He tells her to ask Cole something personal about herself -- something a man who cared about her should know -- and see if he can come up with an answer. Zee shoves Angus back down and says he sounds like her mother. And then, in a method of shutting someone up that I admit I have yet to try, she pulls a disgusting larva out of his chest. Apparently some insect LAID EGGS IN HIS SKIN. So gross. She says she'll have to put him under so she can dig the rest of them out, but he objects and says he needs to get back into the field today. So she offers to "draw them out," to which he sexily (again, I don't know how a man who is currently a spring-break hot spot for coed larvae can pull this off, but it's happening) calls her "doctora" and says it sounds like a better option. She whispers back that she hasn't yet told him how she plans to extract them. More sexy talk about unsexy things to come!
Lily's walking with a patient whose wrist she just bandaged and attempting to Esperanto her way through his care requirements. It's a wonder 90% of these people don't die within hours of leaving the clinic given how many of them get mangled after-care instructions. Lucky for Lily, Mateo is lurking around a corner, and he helpfully clarifies to the patient that Lily means "dry with the gauze" not "marry the gauze." She laughs the conspicuous laugh of someone who just heard a total hottie say something vaguely amusing, then asks Mateo what he's doing here. Well he came to see her, of course! And also, he's been shot in the gut. At this, he collapses. It's weird, second dates are usually less awkward than the first.
Dr. Ben makes it to the surface, and Dad makes a beeline to him to get some news. Ben explains about the collapsed lung, the winch that's still two hours away, and with her air levels dropping, she doesn't have the time. He says they have no choice but to amputate. Dad, as you might imagine, strongly disagrees with this diagnosis. There has to be a better way! Like, maybe, risking that second rockslide in order to lift the rock off of her without the winch? It's not discussed. So, amputation, it is! The music crescendos as they all wait for James Franco to fly in and guide them through this tricky procedure.
After the break, it is officially Air Out Your Sexy Wounded Torso Day at La Clinica Hommina-Hommina, now that Mateo has joined the ranks of the fine-ass wounded. He acts abashed as he explains to Lily how he walked into a rifle trap that he and his family had set up on their farm to ward off capybaras. Lily gives him the bad news that there's no exit wound and they'll have to operate to get the bullet out, but she tries to assure him that he'll be fine.
Out at sea, Dr. Ben and Plastics are assuring Nick that they'll be using tourniquets to slow the blood loss and a nerve-blocker so she won't feel a thing. She will be awake and aware, though, so Mina suggests writing a note on the whiteboard they could show Shannon so she won't be so scared. Nick, however, obviously doesn't do emotion very well -- Mina relates -- so he starts rambling about experts at Walter Reade and Olympians whose prosthetics were judged to be superior to the real thing. "Do you believe this guy?" Plastics mutters to Dr. Ben, who returns with a pious, "People show concern in different ways." Mina ends up scribbling "I'm Here. Dad," on the whiteboard on Nick's behalf, and Dr. Ben takes it down under with him.
Meanwhile, Zee is applying raw bacon strips to Angus's chest in order to draw the larvae out. Larvae: They're Just Like Us! Cole walks in and fumes about Zee using his bacon on loverboy's chest. I have to admit, that would make me angry. Fume away, Otis.
Back underwater, Dr. Ben clamps the tourniquet tight and pulls out a scalpel. It's tough to get a full range of expression on faces with breathing apparatuses in everyone's mouths, but clearly Shannon is freaked and Drs. Ben and Clark are feeling the weight of such a procedure. Clark grabs Shannon's hand as Ben starts cutting, the ribbons of blood floating artfully up towards the surface. Then he pulls out the garroting wire, which understandably panics Shannon even more. Clark pulls out the whiteboard with her dad's message, and Shannon holds it in front of her face, blocking her view of her leg. Well, it's not "her" leg for very much longer. It belongs to the sea now. Like Captain Jack Sparrow or that guy who sang "Brandy, You're a Fine Girl."
Lily, Cole, and Zee operate on Mateo. Cole inspects the abdomen and declares everything in good shape. As opposed to his very difficult-to-obtain bacon, which is "very much compromised." Zee counters with a question: "What's my middle name?" Cole is confused and asks for a clue, but all he gets is "It's not 'Loca.'" Aw, don't use pet names against each other, you two! Lily tries to diffuse the tension by asking if there's any sign of a bullet. There's not. Cole asks Lily how he knows this guy, and she tells him about meeting Mateo at the cantina, which gives Zee an opening to make a passing remark about first dates and "staying up all night, asking questions." The pointedness is not lost on Cole, but he's more interested in why Mateo lied about saying he was shot setting hunting traps. Lily's like, "Buh-whaa?" Cole says the bullet, which he just found, came from a cop's gun. Cole: "Guess you should've asked a few more questions.
After the break, Cole and Zee tell Lily to bag the bullet and, once the surgery's over, call the police. Zee says it's standard policy for suspicious gunshot wounds. Lily makes a halfhearted plea in the direction of "How do we know it's suspicious," but Cole's like, "Shot by a cop. Do the math." Fair enough.
Out at the boat, Mina says, "They're coming," and when Plastics asks how she knows, she nods in the direction of the giant red blob rushing towards the surface. They pull Shannon up to the boat, clamps dangling from her stump in a way that's super creepy and realistic. Dad takes one look at the stump and promptly barfs all over Plastics' shoes. Mina says it's coral poisoning. Plastics: "Or he's the worst father ever." Just because the sight of his mutilated daughter make him physically ill? You lost me at that one, Plastics. Dr. Ben notices a winded Clark climbing the ladder back into the boat (RED FLAG #2), but she insists she's fine and directs him back to their patient. Ben hollers that they need to get back to the clinic ASAP.
The tragic sight of wasted bacon strips -- languishing in the trash, gross larvae attached to them -- beckons us back to the clinic. Zee is removing the last few strips from Angus's chest as they both start to reminisce about all the times she's treated him for some awful jungle-born malady or another. Her point seems to be "Stop getting larval sacs buried in your epidermis, handsome," while he makes a point of picking out a specific detail about Zee for each ailment. "This is the time you were wearing that yellow dress, that's when you wore your hair short," et cetera. He's not exactly subtle about proving his point (though he maybe overrates how much Zee's hair and clothing choices count as personal insights). She tells him he should get out of the jungle. He says she should run away with him. Or at least stop thinking about what he wants, or what Cole wants, and ask herself what she wants. Of course, he tries to tip the scales ever so slightly in his favor by calling her by her entire first name, which you know I won't even attempt.
Lily's at Mateo's bedside when he wakes up, and she brushes away his attempt to take her hand in gratitude. She tells him about the bullet and clinic policy and the call to the police, so Mateo pulls off his tubes and gets to steppin'. Lily's all, "But the hole we just cut into your abdomen..." And he's all, "Ay, mira! The police, they cannot find me here. I am a wanted caballero!" She lets him get past her, then lays on the guilt trip, asking if he's going to leave without so much as an explanation for the audience at home? I mean, her? It looks for a second that Mateo's going to do just that ... until the Spanish guitar kicks in. And he turns and looks at her with smoldering eyes. And then grabs her face and kisses her. And writes her a poem which he then seals up in a bottle and throws into the sea, that his love may return to her one day even if he does not. Maybe not that one. But seriously, this is some serious Latin Lover stuff right here. And then, in a genuinely funny moment, Mateo walks right back into the exam room because he's bleeding again.
The doctors rush Shannon and her dad into the clinic on stretchers, Dad shouting to Shannon that he will find her the best prosthetic money can buy, don't worry. Cut to Ben and Clark having just patched up Shannon's lung, while Plastics puts the finishing touches on her leg. He asks if she'd like to have a look at it, but her eyes remain trained on the ceiling. Plastics explains that the theory is that the sooner amputees look at their ... stump? Adjusted appendage? Whatever, the sooner they see it and accept it, the better, and the more normal they'll feel. Shannon doesn't budge, though. She says she lost her leg "because Nick made me go on this stupid trip. It's not normal and it's never gonna be."
Elsewhere, Cole and Ben examine the telltale bullet from Mateo's gut and discuss the implications, while Clark sits off to the side and coughs some more. How many red flags do you fools need? Clearly she has lung cancer or a defective heart or something. Consumption! Oh it's been so long since someone on TV or in movies has had consumption! Ben finally twigs to her distress, and while she once again tries to brush it off, once she starts spitting up some gross shit, Ben and Cole both spring into action. The bends? Possibly! Let's get her in an oxygen chamber!
The pharmacy. Mina tells Lily that Dr. Ben is looking for her, but Lily has no time right now, what with her patient ("who's probably a serial killer") kissing her and then popping his stitches. Mina, because we love her, is like, "Awesome!" Plastics has a laugh at the un-smoothness of bleeding your way through a makeout session, and Mina asks when Lily's life became a Spanish soap opera. About three paragraphs north, hon. Lily grumbles that they're no help at all and storms off. Plastics opines that celibacy would have solved this problem. Well, presumably not the part where Mateo got shot. (But then, who knows?)
Lily brusquely changes Mateo's blood bag, telling him that getting up and trying to leave was not all that conducive to his recovery. He notices she's mad, and she tells him she usually likes to know who the people she kisses are. He begins to explain: A few weeks ago, he was but a handsome law student, but then corporate types -- backed by the corrupt local institutions -- tried to buy his parents off their land, and when they refused, they started pressuring them. He got the gunshot wound because he went after the police officer who threatened his sister. Lily immediately defrosts. He says he'd do it again too, to protect his family. No Spanish guitars this time, but someone's definitely swooning. Lily puts her hand on his arm, noting "good radial pulse." Ever the vigilant doctor.
Mina wheels Nick in to see Shannon, and right out the gate he's babbling about specialists he can line up to see her and all the best medical treatment he can buy. She cuts him off by accusing him of not writing the whiteboard note, which he cannot deny. He starts to apologize for not being in her life in the past, which sets Shannon off on a remarkably blunt tirade of exposition that is not very well acted at all. To sum up: Nick was never there for her as a kid, and when he re-entered her life, it was mainly through expensive gifts designed to buy her love, up to and including this vacation, all to assuage his guilt. So Shannon's lost half her leg in order to make this stranger feel better. "You want me to look at my stump?" she wails (failing to make eye contact with anyone else in the scene, but let's assume she's addressing Plastics), then whips off her blanket and grimaces at what remains of her leg. "There, I looked! Just don't make me look at him." Then she goes all Dawn Summers and demands that Nick be taken from her sight, screeching until Mina wheels him away. Well, now I'm kinda glad she lost her leg, so there's that.
After the break, Dr. Ben is counseling Cole in the ways of love, after Cole mentions that Zee is playing "How Well Do You Know My Soul?" Ben says Cole's insistence on boycotting said competition is a "bold move," but Cole's adamant that he's not going to engage just because "Scottish McAssface" is pushing him there. They come across the room where Lily is attending to Mateo -- said "attending" characterized by laughing and touching his face with surgical tenderness -- and Ben kind of fugues out for a moment. Jealousy? Or does he know something about Mateo that we don't?
Mina changes Nick's shoulder bandages while he tells her about how Shannon's face lit up when she first saw the coral -- before the rockslide and all -- and how it reminded him of when she was four years old. He gets emotional and starts to lose it, frankly, as he talks about how she deserved better than a dad like him and this was his once chance to make it up to her and how it's gone so horribly wrong. Plastics looks on from outside the room and he's maybe learning a little but about preconceived notions. And parents. And ... himself. Mina, meanwhile, awkward hands out tissues, as she does.
Officer Reyes -- a maybe-corrupt local cop -- shows up and asks Lily about the call she put in about the gunshot victim. Lily totally lies and says she was mistaken -- her patient was a farmer who shot himself setting hunting traps. Reyes asks if she was lying then or lying now, and from offscreen, Dr. Ben jumps in to defend her, saying she was merely mistaken. Reyes shows them both a photo of Mateo and says he attacked a cop and is a wanted man. Ben follows Lily's lead and denies recognizing him. Reyes rather pushily insists on having a walk around the clinic, just to make sure. Lily and Ben exchange "Oh, shit" looks.
Cole happens upon Zee with the news that her middle name is Toledo. He looks proud of himself for a second before admitting he read it on her file. She leads him out to the porch-type-area (sigh) where she tells him she's done. He protests that this is all just because he didn't know her middle name was a city in Spain? "A city in Ohio," she corrects him. Seems her dad was an American just passing through the jungle, and her mom gave her the name so she'd remember not to get caught up in fleeting romance. "She has a dark sense of humor," Zee concedes. Yeah, or something. Zee figures Cole is ultimately just passing through too, and rather than make his case for why he's not that guy, Cole instead asks if "the bacon thief" hadn't come by today ... Zee cuts him off and says they'd still be having this conversation.
Officer Reyes leads Lily and Ben into the large recovery room, where Mateo's bed sits at the far side of the room, portioned off by curtains. Ben thinks quickly and says the patient at the end of the room is a nursing mother, so Lily goes ahead to "tell her to cover up." When she gets to the bed, she finds Mateo has gone, his Spidey sense about local cops having kicked in. Reyes looks at Lily's surprised face and asks where the nursing mother is. Lily says she must've been discharged, and Reyes pointedly says that he's seen enough and huffs out. I SAID GOOD DAY, DOCTOR.
One last quick commercial break, and then we're back as Plastics is expressing approval that the dressing on Shannon's leg is dry. She's brattily ignoring him via her iPod, and she redoubles those efforts once Plastics starts telling her she's being too hard on her dad. "He's an idiot," she spits, but Plastics says he's merely an accountant, who thinks in terms of monetary value first. It's how he shows he cares. Shannon opines that normal people say they care by saying they care, but Plastics knows better. And then, as is the written law in Shondaland, he decides to loop this situation back to himself. Some people show their love through gifts and vacations, some by running away to the jungle to be a doctor. I'm sorry ... does that make any sense? I argue that it does NOT. But Plastics warning Shannon of the dangers of cutting one's parents off -- as one might cut off, say, a LIMB -- does have the ring of relevance. He says his parents are a million miles away, but her dad is just down the hall. Yeah, but that's in two good legs.
Lily peeks in on Dr. Ben in order to thank him for lying on Mateo's behalf. She starts to make Mateo's case as a good guy, but Ben's heard all the stories before. He wasn't lying for Mateo, he was lying for Lily. Because of looooove or something.
Ben then goes to check on Ryan, who's rocking some oxygen tubes but otherwise looking pretty okay. He tells her he checked the diving charts -- she wasn't deep enough to get the bends. He wants to give her an EKG and a chest x-ray, but she begs off for now. She smirks that he can stay if he wants to sing her a lullaby, otherwise, she's going to sleep. She turns over on her side, and we can see the cheerful attitude is just a front.
Nick is checking out, to leave Shannon to be with her mother, who is on her way. Before he can go, though, Plastics wheels Shannon in, and she's miraculously not a bitch anymore. She uncovers ol' stumpy to show her dad -- to let him share in this with her and be her dad. He apologizes, and she says it's not her fault. She looks at her leg again; "It's really gone, huh?" Nick steps forward, kneels down, and takes her hand. Hanging back, Plastics whispers to Mina that Nick probably should have been the one to come to Shannon, what with him having double the number of working legs. Mina tells him that for Nick, this being here for Shannon and holding her hand, this is huge. Plastics is being too hard, Mina's being too lenient. Let's all just agree that Nick has a terrible haircut, huh?
Zee bids Angus adieu. He gives her one last lustful look, then tells her if she ever wanted to grab onto him and beg him not to leave, now would be the time. She tells him to go. There's no telling if they'd even be good together anyway. Angus puts his face good and close to hers: "I think we'd do just fine." They arch towards a kiss for a billion years before she awkwardly puts her hand on the back of her neck, breaking the spell. I'll say this: I have never given a second thought to Valerie Cruz as an actress, but she's made me a believer more than a couple times on this show so far. She watches Angus's taxi take him away.
Cole is in his usual sittin' chair, sucking on a lollipop, hat over his face as usual, when Mina comes skittering up to him. She tells him to keep the hat where it is, as it's easier this way. She embarks upon a monologue that basically says that she's not a hugger or a hand-holder, not even as far back as her childhood. The jerks in her residency called her "ice queen" and "cadaver." She's not like that with boyfriends, even. So holding his hand the other day ... "It didn't mean nothing. It meant something." Even with his hat over his face, you can tell Cole is arching an eyebrow. Mina skitters off before he can respond further. Damn it, show, what did I say about not putting these two together?
At the cantina, Plastics writes a quick "I'm here" note on the back of the photograph of him with the Beach Soccer Players, then sticks it into an envelope addressed to his parents. Aw. He drops it in the mail slot that in conveniently located across the patio, then returns to Lily, Mina, and Charlie, who are all toasting to celibacy. Apparently, says Lily, living in a Spanish soap opera is a little humiliating. So was Mina's hat conversation. Nobody knows what she means by that. Suddenly, Alma taps Plastics on the shoulder. He asks after her novio, and she says he's fine. Then, after Charlie refuses to translate Plastics' offer to help anyone else whose penises need fixing, Alma says she and her novio are kaputski. Though she doesn't put it quite that way. Charlie continues to translate as Alma offers to buy Plastics a drink for helping Elan. He thanks her for the offer but says he just wants to focus on his medicine right now. She walks away sadly, at which point Lily and Mina savagely turn on Plastics for his stupidity, celibacy toast be damned. So he hops back over to Alma and plants a completely awkward kiss on her. Which is better than a whole lot of awkward talking, so there's that.